Proving Value Vs. Providing Value

Proving value and providing value are two distinct concepts with different impacts on business and relationships. When we relentlessly strive to prove ourselves, we inadvertently push people away. This is because the focus is solely on us, feigning interest in others only as a means to an end. Proving value repels those around us, as it lacks authenticity and genuine care. Building authentic connections with people is an endeavor centered on contribution, not self-validation. It involves understanding what others need and then selflessly meeting those needs. Providing value is about serving, not judging, and it starts with proving your value to yourself by building yourself up and becoming better, which eliminates the compulsion to validate yourself to others and increases your ability to provide value, become a better friend and colleague, and nurture more profound relationships.

In this episode, we discuss the contrast between proving value and providing value. We also explore practical strategies to help switch gears when you find yourself tempted to prove yourself. You don’t have to prove your value to feel valued. Learn how to embrace yourself and develop the ability to authentically provide value to others, fostering more meaningful connections and fulfilling relationships in the process.

Tune in!

Key Highlights from the Show

[00:01] What is in for you in today’s show 

[02:14] What proving your value and why it’s so repulsive 

[03:06] How lack of value for ourselves drives us into a cycle of proving our worth

[06:53] Finding what your clients value and providing value from a place of service

[10:25] Moving your ego out of the way and focusing on providing value 

[12:19] How our culture has conditioned us to constantly prove our wort to raise 

[13:42] How to flip the scrip from proving your worth to providing value

[18:00] Building quality and authentic connections with others

[19:11] Proving your value to yourself to eliminate the need to prove to others

[19:48] Wrap-up and end of the show

Notable Quotes 

• The harder we try to prove ourselves, the less people want to be around us. - (01:02).
• Proving our value is repulsive to others because it is all about us, and we are pretending to care about what people want and what they care about to get what we want. - (02:44)
• Proving our value never works in building relationships and business because it isn’t focused on contribution. - (03:00)
• Providing value is all about looking at what someone wants and needs and then giving it to them from a place of service, not a place of judgment. - (07:24)
• If we haven’t been taught to problem-solve for ourselves, it will not be intuitive to problem-solve for others. - (13:24).
• When someone shares an idea that sounds dumb to you, pause and be curious rather than laughing at their face and building walls in your relationship. - (17:39).
• If you have proven your value to yourself, it eliminates the need to prove your value to others; if you don’t have the need to prove your value to others, you can be a better friend and colleague, provide value, and have way better relationships. - (19:31).