Authentic feminine leadership: breaking through barriers and embracing opportunities – with Kelly Roach

Have you ever felt like you're up against an invisible barrier, one that's stopping you from reaching your fullest potential?

Today, Kelly Roach joins us to tackle this very issue as she teaches us foundational principles for scaling a business and creating an enduring legacy.

As founder and CEO of Kelly Roach International, former NFL cheerleader, and Fortune 500 executive, Kelly is no stranger to breaking through barriers. In our candid conversation, we navigate the challenges of leadership, the importance of self-belief, and the power of supporting each other - especially women - to untether and shatter those glass ceilings.

I also get personal, reflecting on the immense impact my parents' encouragement had on my life and the journey towards authenticity in business – but also how  money mindset challenges and financial constraints during our upbringing can become big tethers that keep us from excelling in our financial lives.

 In the episode, Kelly teaches us how to align business practices with core values, and how this leads to an authenticity that not only shapes a brand but also resonates deeply with today's consumers, who are seeking genuine human connection. Kelly and I discuss embracing every facet of ourselves, spirituality included, as a means to profoundly connect with others and thrive in the modern marketplace.

We also address the less glamorous 'messy middle' of entrepreneurship. Starting is easy, but the true test of courage is persisting through adversity.

We hope this episode offers you both compassion and  mental fortitude as you expand your capacity for leadership.

MEET KELLY ROACH
Kelly Roach is one of the only female founders in the online space to build her company from 0 to 8 figures with 0 debt, investors, or outside funding. Kelly is a former NFL cheerleader and Fortune 500 executive turned 8-figure+ entrepreneur empowering thousands around the globe to achieve financial and lifestyle freedom through entrepreneurship.

Kelly is an 11x international best-selling author, Top 20 podcast host, and philanthropist who has been featured in major media such as ABC, NBC, Fox, and Forbes - as well as the recipient of prestigious awards such as #287 on the Inc. 5000 list, The Stevie® Awards Woman of the Year, TITAN CEO of the Year, and Inc.’s Best in Business.

Join Kelly's Kairos Mentorship program

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the podcast that's here to help you break free, be you and unleash your inner brilliance. I'm your host, jen, and in this episode we're going to talk about how to expand your capacity as a leader so you don't become your own glass ceiling. You are so capable, let's dive in. Hey there, unicorn, it's Jen. Welcome back to the podcast. In today's episode we have a very special guest founder and CEO of Kelly Roach International. Guest founder and CEO of Kelly Roach International.

Speaker 1: 0:49

Kelly Roach so Kelly has had the most phenomenal journey as an entrepreneur. She's so inspiring. She's one of the only female founders in the online space to build her company from zero to eight figures, and not only that, with zero debt. Investors are outside funding. She has done it on her own.

Speaker 1: 1:05

Kelly is a former NFL cheerleader and a Fortune 500 executive turned eight-figure entrepreneur. She empowers thousands of people around the globe to achieve financial and lifestyle freedom through entrepreneurship. She is an 11-time internationally bestselling author, top 20 podcast host, a philanthropist, and she's been featured in all the major publications you can imagine, won many awards. She's incredible and thrilled to have her come on the podcast and talk specifically about expanding our capacity as leaders, about understanding how we can truly believe in our capabilities, release ourselves from the tethers that are holding us back and truly step into the magic your unique magic that you were meant to create in this world Without further ado. Welcoming onto the podcast, kelly Roach. Hi, kelly, hey, it's so wonderful to have you on. I myself am just thrilled because I know that you're a wonderful human and you're doing beautiful things in the world, and for you to come on and share with my listeners your knowledge is such a huge, freaking gift. So thank you for being here.

Speaker 2: 2:19

Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 2:22

So we are women who are looking to untether and live our most brilliant lives. That's what we're here to do, and I see that you are doing that, and not only are you doing that, you're helping other people to do it as well. What got you to this point of being this person who is able to reach out and support other women in this way?

Speaker 2: 2:49

out and support other women in this way. I just think that it's such a gift if you can be a part of someone else believing in themselves. Like I can't even say that there was like a thing that happened that made me say I'm going to spend my life trying to get people to believe in themselves. But I think that what could be more rewarding than seeing in someone something that maybe they don't even see in themselves yet? And then I think it's kind of a dual edged sword, because I think that everything that we do is an opportunity to open a door or to build a pathway or to be the shoulders that someone else can stand on, shoulders that someone else can stand on. And so I think that, as women, part of it is us just going for it and then sharing that journey, and so that other women are like you know what?

Speaker 2: 3:33

Maybe I can, maybe that can be for me too, but I also think it's just embracing opportunities to instill belief in other people and to help them to see that they're not alone and that the struggles that they're facing are not unique to them, and that there is definitely a level of depth of the journey, of success that you don't see online which is what I work really hard on my podcast to talk about and in my content, because I think that's one of the biggest barriers actually to success is people seeing one set of information online and then their experience of the journey is so different that they constantly feel that they're doing it wrong or they're out of place, or maybe it's not for them or whatever the case. And I think as leaders specifically as women leaders we have an opportunity to create congruence between those things and bridge them so that people keep going. You know, and that's what I'm trying to do.

Speaker 1: 4:32

That feeling of doing it wrong I feel like I'm doing it wrong is at the heart. I feel like that's at the heart of so much of our struggle, feeling like there's a path that we are intended to follow, that is following this rule book that's been laid out for us, like if I accomplish this, and then this, and then this, and if I make all of these people happy, then I will be successful. And we find that that's not happening.

Speaker 2: 4:58

Yeah, and it's all inside anyway, right. Like, I think one of the things that's so important to remember is like it's like more than one in a billion chance that any of us are here and that means that there's something really unique that is available and destined for us and it shouldn't look like anybody else. It was never meant to. And I think that's when we get ourselves in trouble, when we compare our journey, our success, our life, our this, our that to other people because it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter because we're all here to accomplish a specific life mission that was predestined and to use our gifts in whatever way we're invited to do that. And I think comparison just kills so much joy. And I think that's a lot of what's happened.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Also, you know, with the rise of the internet, and I think the internet has so many beautiful things about it, I mean, listen, for me, I came from Fortune 500. I sat in cold, called and had to go building to building to sell all day. So for me, with live streaming and social media, I'm like this is the greatest gift known to man. Like I'm like I can't believe we had to sit in yoga pants and you know, you know, message on social media and do these things Like. I think the internet's so amazing, but there's also you have to. You have to manage your own mindset around a lot of things too, right.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Yeah, that makes so much sense and it's really easy to get caught up in it. What it made me think of that transition from what you experienced in corporate and then coming onto the internet is I used to do hair years ago. I did hair and standing on my feet all day and then I went to a corporate job and I was sitting behind a desk and I was like this is the easiest thing in the world. This is amazing. I get to sit here all day. But then eventually I actually became. I had so many back problems from all of a sudden sitting all day. So it's like we start to eventually experience the challenges of the new thing.

Speaker 2: 6:54

Well, but see, that's exactly the point is, it's up to us to figure out how to extract the good and not fall victim to the bad, and that's that's growing as a person is being able to take the good and use it to your advantage, but not become a victim of the bad, and that's like self-growth, right.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's so much of the work. It's the mindset. Like you said, did you come out of the womb feeling fully capable? I can do this. You just came into this world as this person who you are.

Speaker 2: 7:33

I don't know how much is nature and how much is nurture. Here's what I'll say. My dad worked for a nonprofit. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. There was five kids in my family. We basically lived at the poverty line. We had no money. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. There was five kids in my family. We basically lived at the poverty line. Like we had no money.

Speaker 2: 7:47

Like my parents were arguing every day about money and like about just getting by. Like the whole our whole dynamic of our life was like getting by, right, but the one thing that my parents did exceptionally well was they were in my ear all the time. Like God chose you, god created you for good. Like, have a high standard for your life, trust that you're special, trust that you're blessed. I love you. I love you. So I think part of that is they.

Speaker 2: 8:18

I learned you know everything in your life experience is basically like you, you learn something that you want to replicate or you find something that you want to recreate in a totally different way. Right so? My family's financial situation, the dynamic of my parents' marriage, you know a lot of those things. I was like, ok, we're going to do this all differently, right? So that was like my lesson and my warning there there. But on the flip side, I think my parents really made a consistent effort on a daily basis with all of us to be like you know you're loved and you're special, and set a higher standard for your life because you're not like everyone else and like you you can go do something great, and you know.

Speaker 2: 8:56

I think that's that was a really important part of you know how I became, who I am, you know. But also, I think God picks us for different things, you know. I think I think that's why I'm here. I think I think I'm here to to lift up other people. I think I'm here to to serve other people, helping them to figure, you know, their path and their journey. So I don't know, I don't know I'm reporting for duty. I'm just trying to report for duty, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 9:26

I'm like I don't know, right, you're like I don't freaking know, I'm just following the breadcrumbs.

Speaker 2: 9:30

It's great, I'm just. I'm just following the breadcrumbs, you know yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:33

But what you're saying is kicking back and reinforcing something that you said earlier that you are unique and you're on your unique journey and you're that message that was instilled in you at such a young age. I feel like that is untethered. That's so freeing. That is so freaking freeing when you realize that I'm not meant to do it anybody else's way. So how has that thought? I'm not meant to do it anybody else's way? How has that influenced the journey that you have been on, specifically in your career?

Speaker 2: 10:07

Yeah, I mean I know I wouldn't be where I am, because I think everything that I've ever done that have been like the best decisions of my life have always been like completely counter, and I think that's one of the most important things for each of us to grow into in our lives is to develop more courage, to trust our own instincts and to trust our own intuition and to not hedge our decisions by the approval or permission of other people. I think a lot of the mistakes we make come from seeking validation, permission, recommendation, whatever, crowdsourcing our decisions instead of saying you know what, let me be quiet and our instincts are really, really good when we allow our instincts to have a voice, you know. But a lot of times we outsource that, and we're outsourcing it to people that either don't have our best interests in mind or they do have our best interests in mind but they just aren't the best people to be making recommendations right.

Speaker 1: 11:14

Yeah, I'm curious for you when we talk about tethers, has there been a tether in your life that has come up time and time again, something that you yourself have like ah, there's that thing again. There's that thing that I'm pushing up against, whether it's approval, validation or something else, feeling like you don't trust yourself or like is there anything for you? And we're all human beings and we all have these things. Is there anything that's hit?

Speaker 2: 11:43

I mean, I think for me it's taken me a really, really it's taken me until like 40 years old, right, To get to the point where I started having financial success, working for a fortune 500 20 years ago, right, and then I became an entrepreneur. I was working my job still, I was doing entrepreneurship on the side and then I finally, a few years ago, became a full-time entrepreneur. And I think it took me until I I relaunched, I changed my program the Inevitable Millionaire to Kairos, and that was the first time that I really made a decision in my business and financial life not based on is this the best financial decision to create security in that area of my life, and I made that decision 100%, just on, like pure God calling service, like no other you know external thing, and it took me that long, you know, to, I would say, get untethered from the financial situation that I grew up in and I feel like I've always built my businesses. I have six companies. They're all super high integrity, high value.

Speaker 2: 13:06

The work that we do is so rich and meaningful and powerful and we change people's lives every day and the goodness has always been there. But I don't think that I was able to fully untether from that financial upbringing until very recently, where I'm just like you know what. I trust myself and I trust God and I trust that I can just do what I'm called to do and I don't need to micromanage. Let's call it micromanage the finance of it. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 13:43

I think that makes a ton of sense, especially I've heard you share. I think it was a previous podcast interview I listened to where you were speaking about your story and one of the things that you shared is that even you know saying the word God and having that be part of who you are in your business and being outward with it. That's something that a lot of us like. We have things about ourselves that we kind of shield because we feel like others might perceive it in some way, and so we will hold that back. But I think the world is ready for us to be us. I think we're living in a time. It's like it's time.

Speaker 2: 14:14

It's time, it's absolutely time and you know, I think that it's been so like just rich and fulfilling and joyful for me to finally feel like I can be whole in the way that I'm building my brand and building my business and not holding back in that way, holding back in that way, but I feel like it's different for everyone, right, like that just so happened to be something for me, but like it could be totally different, you know, for other people listening to the show. But the world is definitely ready and I think people are buying so much more with intent and concern around the human that they're buying from now than they are just the outcome. There is definitely a season in online entrepreneurship where I think people were just so transactional they just wanted to buy the product from the person that they thought was the biggest name or they were going to get the biggest result or whatever. And I think people, as they've spent more time buying in the online space and they've had more experience, they want to feel alignment and connection with the person that they're buying for from more than ever before, more than ever before, and I think now is definitely the time to just be more of what you already are and to share more of what you already are, and you don't have to share more than you want to. But if it's something that you desire, like for me, I wanted to share this.

Speaker 2: 15:42

I was scared, I was very fearful. I held that back, not because I wanted to, because I just didn't. I didn't, I didn't, I guess, have enough courage. I guess I would say I didn't have enough courage, but I think that you share as much or as little as you want to, because it's your life and your business and I don't feel that any of us are required to dump our lives on the internet, although a lot of people feel that pressure, and a lot of people do that, and they're on stories all day, every day, and their whole life is there. I choose, I can't do that life. I don't do that life.

Speaker 1: 16:15

And you built a successful business, not doing that life, which I think is an important message Very successful business not doing that, but yeah, so I think you share what you want to share.

Speaker 2: 16:23

You share what's important to you, but I think if you have a concern about the way that people will perceive your brand or think about you, I think more than ever it will attract the right people, and people are truly, truly seeking that whole relationship with the person that they're buying from, more so than just the outcome of a product or the outcome of an experience, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 16:50

Yeah, you said the word whole twice in that conversation, and the first time I got tears in my eyes and the second time I felt tingles in my feet. There's something about allowing ourselves to be the whole freaking person that we are, and that doesn't mean to your point, we don't have to show all of it. We don't have to stand naked in front of everyone. You can show what you want to when you're ready. Thank you for letting us go there and talk about that, because I think it's really, really important and your willingness to share that just shows the courage that you have and that you have come to a point where you're able to talk about that and where you're ready and you want to. So I appreciate that very much. So I have a question for you. The first time I saw you in person well, the only time I saw you in person last year I was at a retreat and I was offering breathwork and you came and you spoke and it was so freaking good.

Speaker 1: 17:41

Kelly, I had this tiny book that they gave us and as you were talking, I was writing one quote per page. Let me show you how many pages, how many pages. I filled up half of this book, one quote per page and I pulled it out this morning to come and look at some of the things that you had shared. And I was like, oh, and I pulled it out this morning to come and look at some of the things that you had shared and I was like, oh my gosh, I need to be reading this every day.

Speaker 1: 18:06

But one of the things that you said I'm going to read two of them. You said have the courage to be committed. That had really landed so hard with me. And then, a couple of pages later, I wrote there is a part of you who is ready to stop holding back, and maybe this kind of comes to that conversation we were just having. There is a piece of you at any moment that is so ready for you to stop holding back. And I know this is totally out of context for you, but when I say that to you, what comes to mind?

Speaker 2: 18:33

Well, yeah, I mean listen I say this and I think to the quote that you just read there. You know, it doesn't take a lot of courage to get started. It takes a lot of courage to commit to keep going. And I think that's a message that people really need to hear right now, because it's really easy to stop something when it's not working, to shut something down when it gets hard, to celebrate starting over, starting something new. That's the easy part, anyone can do that. But what takes real fortitude and grit and what is going to build your character and build your strength as a person and actually build the value of what you can bring to the world, is the courage to continue. It's the commitment to keep going when it's hard, when you're questioning yourself and when you are feeling overwhelmed and when you do have all those surge of emotions and fear and all of those things that come up. And so I would just say for someone that's in that messy middle that you know you got started, you came this far. Just remember you didn't come this far. You came this far. Just remember you didn't come this far, just to come this far.

Speaker 2: 19:41

And I think one of the things I've been trying to talk a lot about is just the seasons of entrepreneurship. I've had my business since 2012 in the online space and I've seen every season and some seasons twice and three times, and even as a great business person that will do unbelievably amazing things in the world. I built an eight figure company. I've been on the Inc 5000 list multiple times. I have six companies now. I've been there, I've done it all the things and yet I've had massive failures. I've had launches that failed. I had a business partnership that I had to dissolve and get out of. I could go on and get out of Like I could go. I mean, I could go on and on and on.

Speaker 2: 20:22

You will experience everything and so many times what happens is we get so fearful, and so our ego is so powerful in those situations where we feel at risk, that it's like fight or flight and instead of saying, okay, this is the season that I'm in and I'm going to push through it, I'm going to keep planting to prepare for my next harvest, people are like I'm just going to start over, I'm going to quit, I'm going to shut this down, I'm going to restart here, I'm going to change my niche, I'm going to do this thing and you didn't learn anything. You didn't learn anything. And when you do that, that same challenge will follow you to that next thing, and that's the part people don't realize. When you run from it, it's going to follow you because that lesson is the gift of what you need to learn to get to the next level.

Speaker 2: 21:14

So you can keep running, you can keep quitting, you can keep shutting things down. You can burn it down, you can start over, you can change your niche. You can keep quitting, you can keep shutting things down, you can burn it down, you can start over, you can change your niche, you can get rid of this person, whatever. But the lesson that you need to learn, that's going to actually elevate you, that's going to actually be the thing that changes your life. You have to be able to sit in the discomfort of working through that versus running away from it to truly see your life and your business elevate. So that's a little bit of what's behind that for me.

Speaker 1: 21:42

Is this what you mean when you talk about expanding your capacity as a leader and this idea of kind of being your own glass ceiling? Is that related? 100%?

Speaker 2: 21:52

100%, because what I see from people I mean, listen, I've been in this world for so long, I've seen it all. I've been there, I've run that rodeo so many times at this point I can spot it from a million miles away and what I see is so many and specifically, women. You know, they have the huge vision. They are totally capable, so talented, so smart, like such strong women. But their capacity is what's limiting them and they keep trying to change strategies, thinking if I just do this thing, if I just do this thing, and it's like it's their own capacity is the thing that's holding them back.

Speaker 2: 22:29

And a lot of times when I think about capacity, I think about, like, mental load, I think about emotional control, I think about energy management.

Speaker 2: 22:38

Right, if you're running something that is six figures versus something that's seven figures versus something that's eight figures which, by the way, none of that even matters it's what is the experience of life that you get to have in doing each of those things and how many people do you get to impact and whatever.

Speaker 2: 22:55

We assign so much value to these numbers that really are irrelevant anyway, but that's a whole nother podcast. We assign so much value to these numbers that really are irrelevant anyway, but that's a whole nother podcast. We'll do that podcast another day. But when you think about capacity, you have to recognize that when you set this big dream, when you set this big goal that you want to get to, you have to have the capacity to be able to energetically and emotionally manage what comes with that dream. And what I see is people have capacity for this dream, but they wanna have this dream and they keep thinking that if they start this and if they try that and if they fire the fifth social seller and if they hire the seventh COO and let me just do this you know it's like it's an exercise in futility because it's something that needs to be grown and matured inside of us. It's not something that is going to be had from the outside in, it's from the inside out, right.

Speaker 1: 23:49

Look, I'm an entrepreneur and I have been there and done that and it's so easy for us to think, okay, this isn't working, I'm going to go do something else. And especially we're talking about the online world there's always somebody selling you the next solution. It's always something.

Speaker 2: 24:04

It's wild, and so I just want to help people to develop that emotional control and that staying power, and that's why the new season of Kairos, the next season that we're starting in March, is all about capacity building, because I want to help people actually learn how to expand their capacity.

Speaker 2: 24:23

Like how do you concentrate on developing your emotional control? How do you work on developing your energy management so that you can actually hold space for more Meaning? Two people could face the same two challenges and one person is past it in 30 seconds and they're on to the next thing. The other person is still there five days later. Right, and when you expand your capacity, you can be this person that you can move through things and you can keep going, and that's what's going to allow you to hold space for more team, more clients, a bigger business, more income, more wealth, more abundance, more giving right, more impact, bigger market, bigger audience all of those things. It's like we want that, but we have to understand what comes with that and how to manage ourselves to be able to navigate that right.

Speaker 1: 25:14

Yeah, Can you give us a little taste of what you're? You did just give us a tiny taste of what you're offering in Kairos, but what do you mean by expanding energetic capacity? Just even one little. Are there exercises? Is it frameworks? What is it?

Speaker 2: 25:30

Yeah, exercises and frameworks, yes, lots, lots, and, yeah, we'll be working on this in the spring in the program. But so what I want to help people do is have more self-awareness. It starts with self-awareness, right, starts with self-awareness, right. So the first thing is is you have to understand how you react and respond to things and, just like an athlete, your recovery time from situations is going to determine how fast you go and how far you go, right. And so we want to think of ourselves like we're an athlete. We're training for the race of life, right. And I don't say race of life like meaning how fast you're going through life. I mean race of life meaning like there's a lot to this journey of life that we're on right and it's nice if you can go through life and you can be at a jog and you can kind of have stuff coming at you and you're like, nope, not going to take that.

Speaker 2: 26:20

So it's first, raising your awareness. It's second, developing your own kind of coping mechanisms for how you're managing those things that are coming your way. It's third, developing your ability to interface without embodying the energy that is coming from the outside in. That is a huge thing for women, right. They interact with someone and they just absorb and it overtakes them. Why? Because we're empathetic, because we're loving, because we want to be present with people, because we want to connect energetically and emotionally with others. But what happens is that energy then infiltrates our bodies, our minds, our spirits and it paralyzes people. I see women that are so depleted and so exhausted all the time because they have good energy but then they're absorbing so many outside things. So it's a lot and it's hard to contain in a single conversation like this, but I think basically it's exercises and frameworks to develop your ability to manage more from a mental capability standpoint, which will create greater ease in your ability to execute and achieve at a higher level.

Speaker 1: 27:34

You do the best job of I think I truly believe anybody in business of describing that in the most practical way. So everyone definitely go check out Kelly's podcast if you haven't yet, because you do break down business concepts in a way that it's like, oh okay, I understand and I think that's really, really important, especially in the world of energy. I'm an energy worker and just live your greatest joy. Live your greatest joy. And yes, there's also real life situations, especially real life business situations. So thank you for being one of the people who was really helping to bring that into reality for people. Kelly, can I ask you one final question I like to ask every single person on this podcast Kelly, where do you see the magic in the world?

Speaker 2: 28:18

People believing in themselves. I think, just believe in yourself. I think so many people have so much incredible greatness and talent inside of themselves and if they just trust themselves and allow themselves to just take what is inside and express it outside of themselves, I think that is the magic in the world, because I think fully express happy people that are living their life's work what could be better than that? That will make the world a better place.

Speaker 1: 28:51

Untethered magic. That's what you just described. That's it.

Speaker 2: 28:56

That's it.

Speaker 1: 28:57

Thank you so much for coming on the podcast and sharing today.

Speaker 2: 29:00

Thanks for having me. I loved being here.

Speaker 1: 29:08

One of the things that Kelly said that bears repeating. You didn't come this far just to come this far. What she mentioned about having the courage to keep going and getting started is the easiest part, is really different from what we hear from a lot of people. It's that courage to keep going. Stay tuned for Thursday's thread, where I'm going to pull out a little thread from this episode and go a little bit deeper. So stay tuned for that, looking forward to seeing you there.

Speaker 1: 29:32

So if you would like to connect with Kelly, I highly recommend that you do. If you haven't yet, you can connect with her on Instagram. She's Kelly Roach Official. She's on all of the social media platforms Very easy to find her. Her podcast, the Kelly Roach Show. You can go and follow her podcast Very insightful business advice. Her website's kellyroachcoachingcom and she's got her current program that is out, kairos. If that's something that you're interested in looking into, you can find out information about that in all of the places and all of the ways.

Speaker 1: 30:05

If there's something that you gained from this podcast episode, I encourage you to share it with a friend and if you want to share it with all of your friends, you can take a screenshot of the episode, share it on social media. Put a little link to where you've been listening to it at tag me. Tag Kelly, and we will reshare your posts. Thank you again so much for listening to the episode. It really means the world to me that you would listen. I'll see you on Thursday. You just keep shining your magical uniform light out there for all to see. See you next time. Bye.