You are so freaking capable: Trust your instincts and follow your fun

Do you trust your own instincts? How much faith do you put in your own decision making?

This Thursday Thread episode pulls out a bit from Tuesday's conversation with business mentor, Kelly Roach, where we discussed how your instincts are a compass leading you to unimaginable achievements...but how many people haven't learned to listen in and honor their own instinctual nudges.

In the episode, I share some personal reflections on the transformative instinct-based strategies that have worked for me (and many other entrepreneurs and leaders). Despite what many of us have been taught, trusting the path of your inner knowing will always guide you to the next best step.

That doesn't mean you won't feel resistance! But the cool thing about resistance is that it's always pointing you right back home. It can even be a big signal to your next evolution or stage of growth! Heck, many times when you're feeling resistance, you're like a hermit crab that has outgrown your current shell – it's time to step out of your comfort zone and find a new spacious place to grow!

This is easier said than done, of course. As you step outside your comfort zone, it's natural for fear to arise. As you expand your capacity for all things, your nervous system will go on red alert!

When this happens, reach for  a tool that can help you expand your capacity. Because the moments when you want to tap out are the best moments to turn inward and signal safety so you can expand.

In fact, I invite you to expand your own capacity at the end of this episode using the  powerful practice of breathwork, a tool that can revolutionize your emotional agility and capacity for joy. I guide you through a breathing exercise designed to help anchor you in the present, allowing you to expand your energetic capacity and flourish even under pressure. 

Embrace this opportunity to transform stress into strength, and discover a newfound resilience that resonates through every aspect of your life. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the podcast that's here to help you break free, be you and unleash your inner brilliance. I'm your host, jen, and in this episode I'm going to share why you are so freaking capable. It's Jen. Welcome back to the podcast for this Thursday thread. It's a Thursday thread, thursday thread.

Speaker 1: 0:39

Pulling out a little piece from Kelly Roach's episode on Tuesday Totally cool if you didn't listen to Kelly Roach. I think she is a phenomenal business mentor. If you're an entrepreneur and you haven't checked out her podcast, you haven't listened in and connected with who she is. I highly recommend it. As I mentioned in the last podcast episode, she does a really wonderful job of breaking down business concepts in a way that we can connect and implement. So definitely go connect with Kelly if you haven't yet, and listen to that episode as well. It's okay, though, right now if you have not listened to that episode. You'll still get something really, really juicy and wonderful out of this episode.

Speaker 1: 1:20

Some of the things that Kelly talked about that I would like to piece out. One of the biggest things that she is talking about right now is expanding your energetic capacity as a leader, and part of that is really trusting your instincts, learning to trust what it is that is being called on your heart, learning to trust that you are following your unique journey. That trust is such a key part. When you look at athletes who are just doing spectacular things in the world, they are trusting their instincts. When you watch a football player that jukes one way and then the other, the best football players are following their own instincts. They're not overthinking things, and so often we find ourselves in that realm of overthinking and it's an energy drain. It drains the energy right, the frick, out of us. And one of the things that Kelly talked about is that idea that you didn't come this far just to come this far.

Speaker 1: 2:24

And so often in entrepreneurship, in life, it's like we start something and it's really exciting in the beginning and then, all of a sudden, it gets hard. And when it starts to get hard, what we do a lot of times is we look at ourselves and we think that we can't do it, or we fucked up, or we don't know what we're doing or which. Nobody knows what they're doing, by the way but we start to turn inward with this negative mindset like, oh, I chose wrong, I'm doing it wrong, something's wrong, instead of just seeing that everything as it experiences a period of growth has a little bit of a resistance. Think about the flower bud right before it opens. There has to be just so much resistance to get that little shell to break open so that the petals can flourish. That's what we're experiencing so much of the time. But we will quit because we start with that negative self-talk and we don't allow ourselves to grow and to flourish and to let it unfurl in the way that it's meant to unfurl.

Speaker 1: 3:26

And in that period, in that specific period of time, we started something and it was fun and it was exciting, and entrepreneurship especially. We're getting it going and we have all of these hopes and dreams and big. And then we start to hit the holy shit. Not as many people are interested in this as I thought. Or the system isn't working out, or this tool is too hard. Did I choose the wrong thing? I made a bad decision.

Speaker 1: 3:55

We can really get in that headspace and we start to just shrink and shrink and shrink and shrink and our belief in ourself is shrinking and shrinking, and shrinking and shrinking. And all of a sudden, that excitement and that enthusiasm that was helping us to feel so freaking, capable and so excited is gone and we are just dimmed out and we are the bud on the flower that never comes to fruition. We just let it fester and it just drains the life out of us. We've all been there right. We have all started something. Whether you're an entrepreneur or not, we have started something that when it gets hard, we stop.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Especially, especially, especially, especially if you're an achiever and if you are tethered by the tethers of achievement, of pleasing, of proving, we will definitely fizzle out at that phase because we're not getting the immediate reward, and I fall into that as much as anybody. But it can make us feel incapable. I want to feel capable all the time. I want to feel capable all the time and I think most of us do. But when we face a challenge we're obviously going to get a little bit rocky, and that's normal. Just want to normalize that. That is true. But if we let the rocky part, if we just let ourselves fall into the ocean and we don't attempt to find our balance, then we will stay in that incapable and we'll go try to look for capable somewhere else, when really what Kelly is saying is that the capable comes when you're willing to stay on that rock and find your balance, and then you find that groove, and then you're able to get on an even harder rock and find your balance and stay in that groove, and then a harder one, and a harder one, and a harder one. That's where we actually grow in our energetic capacity. That's actually how we become more and more capable over time.

Speaker 1: 5:59

Is letting ourselves stay in the discomfort instead of fleeing the discomfort. Every time we flee, that same incapable comes with us, and then you're going to try something new and you're going to hit that same level and you're going to get on that rocky rock, on that wiggly rock, and you're going to face the exact same thing again. And so that problem is chasing you. It just chases you and chases you and chases you until you're ready to face it. And as soon as you face it, as soon as you just let yourself sit in the freaking discomfort, let it settle down. The truth, the solution, the growth it happens for you. It's really hard. It's really hard.

Speaker 1: 6:48

I have faced this myself as an entrepreneur time and time again. I've also, as an entrepreneur, time and time again, been the person who is running from rock to rock and letting a problem chase me, we've all done that. We don't just do it in entrepreneurship, we do it in our relationships. There's something that we don't want to face, there's a hard conversation that we don't want to have, so we avoid it. Well, then it ends up coming up somewhere else. It's always going to pop up.

Speaker 1: 7:17

We truly get better at things when we stop overthinking them and we begin to trust our instincts. And sometimes that takes a little bit of work. To get to the point of trusting your instincts, I think about when I very first started learning to become a breathwork facilitator and I remember having a conversation with my partner, who was in that program with me, and I said you know, I feel like at first you have to do it the way that you're taught. You have to follow the framework and do it exactly the way that you're taught, because we need something, we need a plan, we need somebody's action plan. But I said at some point I called her and I was like you know, what I'm realizing is that now that I know that plan, I can start to bring my own creativity into it, and that's where this is starting to get fun. A lot of times we don't recognize that moment when we will stay in something. We'll follow the plan. We'll follow the plan. We'll follow the plan. The plan's not working or it stops working. It was working for a little bit. Eventually it's going to plateau that plan all of a sudden.

Speaker 1: 8:22

It's either not as much fun for you, you're experiencing a lot of resistance, you're not really wanting to do it anymore. Here's a sign when you notice that you're not really wanting to do something anymore. There is a sign for you to trust your instincts a little bit, more, to do it in a way that is more fun for you, because the plan no longer is what you're meant to be doing. You're meant to be starting to forge your own path, to bring your own creativity, your own fun, your own magic into what it is that you are doing, your own flair. You're taking your little whack-a-mole thing and you're hitting it in your fun way, bringing your little movements into it, just like the football players bringing their own little movements into it. And that's what works for them, because they're following their path, they're following their instincts. That's when we truly start to feel fully capable, because we're trusting ourselves and we're having fun. And when you're having fun, everything flows so much more naturally.

Speaker 1: 9:24

Remember that when you are feeling resistance in your life, when you're feeling discomfort in your life, when you're avoiding things, you are like a hermit crab. You've outgrown your shell. You've outgrown the shell in some way. That framework is not working for you anymore and it's time for you to leave the shell and go find something new and give your own little fun, spin, move. As you leave the shell, it's time for you to start bringing a little bit of your own magic into it, and that's where you build your capacity. All of a sudden, your capacity is so much bigger, so much roomier, because you're having fun, you're opening up space for yourself. It's really, really important that we see this, because a lot of times we get to that discomfort and we get to the point of it being hard and we just leave and that's not going to grow your capacity. That's not going to grow your feeling of I am so freaking capable Now at the same time.

Speaker 1: 10:29

Here's where I'm going to connect breathwork and nervous system work for you. Is that that energetic capacity that is your actual nervous system tapping out. You can only handle a certain amount of joy. We can only handle a certain amount. Your capacity is your capacity. It is what your body is used to, and so it is what your body can hold. You've never stood on this rock before and felt so wobbly. You're tapping out. Your nervous system is like holy shit, what's she doing? And it gets scary. And when you can take a deep breath and turn inward and say, ah, okay, this is new, automatically your nervous system has activated something new.

Speaker 1: 11:20

Now, if you flee and you jump off the rock, your nervous system is used to that. It knows how to flee. It knows how to say, oh, we're done tapping out, let's go. You're keeping it exactly the same. But if you stay on that rock and you say, okay, what is here for me, I'm going to reflect and I'm going to learn and I'm going to see the gift in this and I'm going to stay at it, all of a sudden your capacity has physically grown. You're in your body. Your energetic capacity for staying this, for seeing it through, for introspection, what you can hold, has suddenly grown. This is science. This is science. Your body can only handle so much. And those moments when you tap out are the moments to really look inward and to grow. And you can do this via meditation, you can do it via breath work. You can do it simply via pausing and taking a break, via journaling. Turn inward every time you feel a desire to flee and maybe that reflection will help you see that really it is time for you to turn. And maybe that reflection will help you see that really it is time for you to turn. Maybe that reflection is going to show you something really beautiful and that you are so capable of staying exactly where you are and growing right in the space that you are planted.

Speaker 1: 12:42

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. As always on our Thursday Threads, we pause for a moment to breathe, and let's breathe into your own energetic capacity, breathing into your personal belief, your personal knowing of your capabilities, what is possible for you, what you are capable of achieving. If you're seated, you'll be able to close your eyes with me. If you're driving, please either keep your eyes open and fully aware, lightly listening in, or come back and listen to this later. If you're walking, you're welcome to soften your gaze, ensuring your own safety, taking a deep inhale into your nose.

Speaker 1: 13:37

If you're seated, closing your eyes down, taking another big, deep breath into the nose, filling belly, sighing it out on your exhale, pausing for a moment here to notice your breath, releasing control of the breath, just noticing your breath flowing in and your breath flowing out, noticing the rise and the fall of your chest, of your belly. There you go, maybe placing one hand on your chest, one hand on your belly, seeing if you can begin to draw more air, more expansion into the belly. That's it. Seeing if you can expand the back body, not just the front of the belly but also the back, Not just the front of the belly but also the back On your next inhale, also expanding the sides On an inhale, expanding that breath full 360 degrees, front, back sides, all the way around.

Speaker 1: 15:37

Noticing, even here now, with this simple breath, that you are capable of energetically expanding, moving that breath into your body and expanding it in a way that it previously wasn't Beautiful. Releasing control of that breath, just breathing once again into the nose, out through the nose. Recognizing that you are so capable, even with this simple breath, reminding yourself the next time that you feel like you're not, that you can't, the next time you feel like fleeing, reminding yourself to pause To breathe, to recognize your capability for doing new things, for physically expanding, for taking control of your breath, of your nervous system, reminding yourself. I am so capable, taking one last inhale in through the nose, exhaling completely, maybe with a sigh ah, feeling the ground beneath your feet, maybe giving your toes a wiggle, your fingers a wiggle, placing your hands back on your lap, fluttering your eyes open when you're ready, coming back fully into the present. Eyes open when you're ready, coming back fully into the present, remembering this feeling of expansion, feeling of choice in your body and how fully capable you are.

Speaker 1: 17:53

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. It means the world to me that you would listen, that you would pause to breathe with me and give yourself this beautiful gift of recognizing your own capacity. If something connected with you in this episode, whether the breath or the message, I encourage you to share it with a friend. Send it to somebody who would enjoy it, somebody who could learn something, who could feel something from it. If you really enjoyed the episode, you can also share it with all of your friends. Take a screenshot of the episode itself and put a little link. Share it on social media, link people out to the episode. You can also tag me on tetheredjen on Instagram. I will always reshare your posts if you tag me. Thanks again, so much for listening. Truly means the world to me. You just keep shining your magical unicorn light out there for all to see. I'll see you next time. Bye.