Is feminine pleasure the secret sauce for personal transformation?

Have you ever felt societal shame when it comes to embracing your desires? 

In today's episode, I peel back the layers of taboo to peek into the idea of how feminine pleasure and power could be the unsung heroes of personal transformation. 

We're not just talking about the secretive corners of manifestation communities or erotic empowerment – though we're not shying away from those topics. Instead, we get real about the everyday joy and abundance that come from aligning with our deepest cravings and how doing so can light up all aspects of our lives, from the boardroom to the bedroom.

In the heart of our discussion lies a candid exploration of my own entrepreneurial path and the surprising ways our intimate lives can shape our professional success. I open up about the hurdles of welcoming joy and affluence into my life and how these battles have spilled over into conversations with my husband, revealing the profound interconnectedness of our inner and outer worlds. 

This is a conversation about curiosity and self-acceptance, and how unshaming our desires and physical pleasure can create safe spaces within ourselves through practices like breathwork, and the courageous act of pressing into discomfort to emerge stronger and more whole. 

As always on Thursdays, we close with a meditative breathwork practice.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the podcast that's here to help you break free, be you and unleash your inner brilliance. I'm your host, jen, and in this episode we're going to talk about pleasure. Let's dive in. Hey there, uncharted's Jen, welcome back to the podcast. I had to laugh even as I said the word pleasure. It's so untethered. It's so untethered to talk about pleasure and yet we hear more and more and more people who are talking about it.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Feminine pleasure, feminine desire, feminine power these are things that we're hearing more people talk about and in fact, we had a guest on Tuesday's podcast episode. Today is a Thursday thread. It's a Thursday thread pulling out a little piece from Courtney Boyer's podcast on Tuesday, and so I want to dive in, because you've probably heard some stuff about this or maybe you haven't. If you listen to Courtney's podcast episode, obviously you have around the idea of pleasure practices, and I had somebody else on the podcast a while back where she is a firm believer that feminine pleasure is directly connected to our manifestations and to our creation and our co-creation with the universe to bring what it is that we desire to life. So I want to break down. I want to do a quick breakdown of what the heck all of this is, in case you've been hearing things about it, and then I'll give you my perspective and what I've learned so far, because I'm always learning. This podcast here is one of the best tools that I have found for myself. That's why I'm so dang passionate about people podcasting, because there's so much you can learn and so much you can be curious about. You can invite a guest on to talk about whatever it is that you're like. I am really curious. I want to hear more about epigenetics. I want to hear more about pleasure practices. I want to hear more about entrepreneurship. What are you curious about? Podcasting is such a good freaking way to dig into that, and so that's why I invited Courtney on, because I'm like I want to know more about this. I really am curious because I've experienced some things for myself and some realizations about limitations that I have due to some of these things.

Speaker 1: 2:35

So here's the deal with feminine pleasure. Many people believe that by women connecting to and honoring their bodies, desires and their pleasure, it can tap into innate creative energy, and tapping into that innate creative energy helps us to manifest more joy, more abundance of many things, but including financial abundance and overall fulfillment in our lives. By cultivating a deeper relationship with pleasure, people can also become more attuned to their desires themselves and empowered to pursue them. So here's the thing At the root of all of that is shame and guilt and societal conditioning in general around sexuality and pleasure and so people who do these pleasure practices. There's a lot of releasing that is happening around that, and the reason that people are talking about it right now is because there is so much speaking about how that is impacting our ability as women to show up in the world and how, if you look at this through the lens of the patriarchy and the matriarchy, the patriarchy has kept women conditioned through societal conditioning so that we do not tap into the power that we truly have. So that's this at a super basic level.

Speaker 1: 4:00

The connection between feminine pleasure practices and manifestation lies in the belief that, cultivating a deeper connection to your body, your desires and your pleasure, you can tap into creativity and manifest more of the good things in life. That's what we're talking about when we talk about feminine pleasure practices. Now, this can go extreme. This can go extremely untethered. There are people who I have listened to because I've seen them around in the manifestation world, who believe that people pleasuring themselves in giant groups of people through meditation and physical acts of that can create huge waves of energy that can shift the world in huge and powerful ways. There are people who are fully, fully on board with that. There are other people who I recently have come across who believe that men, by not ejaculating during sex, by holding it in, can actually create more creative power within their bodies.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Now, maybe you are one of these people who has these more untethered beliefs and I think that's cool. That's fine. We can all believe what we want to believe. Maybe you're somebody who's just like what are these people even talking about? And you might think that what I just said out loud is freaking bonkers. It's fine. No matter what, I think that what makes this world so interesting is that there are so many interesting people with interesting ideas and they're experimenting with it. This entire experience that we are having in this human world on earth is just an experiment, and the more that we can just be like huh, that's so interesting, instead of judging what those people are doing, the better. That's what this podcast has taught me more than anything is just let people live the life that they want to live. They're not hurting anybody. In fact, by doing all of those things that they're doing, they're actually hoping to improve the world. So that's cool. Improve the world, hug trees. Do all of those things that they're doing. They're actually hoping to improve the world. So that's cool. Improve the world, hug trees. Do all of the things that bring you joy. That's great.

Speaker 1: 6:11

But there's a lot of judgment that we have all been raised up with around all of those things. And really look at this, look at this. How many things that bring people joy do you innately judge? I bring up tree hugging as an example because in my upbringing tree hugger was used as a derogatory term, not really intentionally, but just like a bunch of tree huggers, and I heard that growing up. And then I come up to Portland. You legitimately love trees here. If you don't love trees, how could you not? They're so big and beautiful. You legitimately want to go and hug them and talk to them. There's just no way around it. It's beautiful and they're magnificent. I'm just like, oh my gosh, I just want to put my hand on it. And now I do. I go up to the trees and I put my hands on them, but I have a voice in the back of my head that is judging myself because it has judged others, because that is what I grew up with and this is what happens to us. It actually brings me joy to do that. I feel so connected to nature when I do that.

Speaker 1: 7:23

But the societal conditioning in me is judging, and this is what we're talking about, because that simple act of me placing my hands onto a tree is pleasurable. I get joy out of it. That's the definition of pleasure, is something that brings you just an immense state of joy, of bliss. We have associated it with so many things. That word talk about a tethered word, so taboo, so societally taboo, and so much so that I have guilt and shame and worry and around myself feeling joy for the simple feeling of touching a tree. So imagine when it comes to the simple pleasure of touching yourself or your spouse touching you, or of being touched in a way that you think should bring you pleasure, because you saw on TV that that's the way that brings a woman pleasure or a man pleasure, and it doesn't. The shame and the guilt and the judgment that begins to come into our lives even at such a young age, because we discover what I'm feeling doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like what I've been taught I should be feeling. Oh my gosh, all of the things, all of the things that can come up in this realm when we look at ourselves as holistic beings.

Speaker 1: 8:50

Nothing is segmented, nothing beings, nothing is segmented, nothing. I heard a podcast recently with a bunch of their neurosurgeons and they're talking about how most neurosurgeons are not well-educated in the nervous system. The nervous system, your nervous system, running from your toes up to your brain. 80% of the information that goes to your brain comes up through the body, through the nervous system, and most neurosurgeons, most people who work on brains, do not know, jack, about that. 80% the nervous system that is sending things to the brains. Like neuroscientists it doesn't matter about surgeons neuroscientists, like all of them, don't know enough about the nervous system. Fortunately, that's being well known. But we have not looked at ourselves as whole beings. We have segmented things because it makes it easy. Makes it easy if things are very segmented and all things. This goes to all things and I take it down to this very logical thing within our body, within medicine, we have segmented everything, but it's not segmented.

Speaker 1: 10:02

The way that you show up in relationships shows up in your business. The way you show up in your career shows up in your relationships. Everything is impacting everything. So the way that we are showing up with our own sexuality is impacting your ability to step into your power, because your power is directly connected to your sexuality, to your pleasure, to your joy. You're in your most powerful state when you are fully embodied in a state of joy. We can't get to joy, we can't experience happiness. We all want to be happy. We can't experience happiness if we can't experience pleasure. If you can't feel pleasure in your sexuality, then you're not going to be able to feel it. This is the theory. You cannot feel it in your everyday, you can't feel it in your work. You can't feel pleasure from receiving money if you can't feel pleasure from receiving the love of your companion or love from yourself. Everything impacts everything. The way that you show up in one thing is the way that we show up in all things.

Speaker 1: 11:08

Now, for me, I'm discovering that this is 100% true. As I have turned inward, let me tell you entrepreneurship will bring up all your shit. Anybody who's an entrepreneur you know. It brings up everything as you begin to step out, as you begin to step into sales, as you start to put yourself out there, as you start to reach out to people and have conversations and coach people, you see reflections of yourself all over the place. It's impossible to not just hit brick wall after brick wall after brick wall, and I hit these brick walls that I just could not receive abundance. And as I have dug into the abundance, deeper and deeper and deeper, at deeper levels, every up level that we go, I've realized that it's the joy, it's the inability to receive joy, it's my discomfort with receiving joy. And, yes, indeed, it has followed into the bedroom. I'm like, oh my gosh, I am not comfortable with this, I don't desire this, I'm blocking it completely. And so this has opened up so many doors to so many conversations with my husband. It's been really good. It's also been really hard, and we've been focused there for quite some time now, to the point where I'm talking more openly about it because it really is impacting. It's impacting my business, it's impacting my other relationships, and it really all came down to my own love of self, my own ability to accept myself, my own ability to actually physically love my own body, and that's what we're talking about here.

Speaker 1: 13:01

And you start where you are. You start where you are. You don't immediately have to go to engaging and manifestation pleasure practices in a giant stadium with hundreds of thousands of people. That does not have to be your thing. It doesn't have to be going to pleasure retreats Maybe it is. Maybe that really is your thing and you're super into the manifestation of things. It could simply start with asking yourself a question how could I accept and honor my body one iota more today? Because the way that we love our bodies is the way that we love ourself, is the way that we love others, is the way that we love our business, is the way that we love our parents.

Speaker 1: 13:44

And this is where it gets sticky, because societally we'll say there is no connection between my sexuality and my feelings about my parents. And the truth is that there is, because everything is connected. It's all whole and the way that we perceive things. One thing is the way that we perceive all things and it impacts us and we have to start talking about it. We have to be more okay with talking about it and de-stigmatizing that and making it less taboo to talk about it. So I honor people like Courtney and other people who have come on the podcast who do talk about this openly. I think that takes huge courage to talk about it openly, because it's so freaking uncomfortable for most people. Maybe you're uncomfortable just even listening to this conversation, but I'm probably going to interview more people to talk about it, because I myself am curious and I myself am going down this rabbit hole and seeing what are the ways in which I can unleash myself more and more from the tethers that are holding me back from being the most vibrant, most whole, most powerful, most brilliant human, so that I can look back when I'm 90 years old and I say that was freaking brilliant.

Speaker 1: 14:58

There are things that are holding us back and this is one of the things that for many women men too, but for many women are really deeply holding us back because we can't fully step into our power, because your power is inherently attached to your feminine, your sexuality. It's all attached that womb space, that sacral chakra, all of it, the root, it's all connected. It's all your safety is connected to it. We have to feel safe. So that's where we start is inviting more safety into our body. That's a lot of what I do with. Breathwork is helping people to find safety within ourselves. That is at the very, very, very start of anything is learning what it feels like to feel safe in your own body, to feel safe being grounded, to feel safe to rest in the discomfort.

Speaker 1: 15:55

If you made it this far into this episode and it made you a little bit uncomfortable amazing, good for you. Find your feet. Find your feet on the floor again if you need to. Maybe I'm the only one who's. This is my second episode of talking about this topic, so it's new for me, but I also think it's really important. Anywhere where I am intrigued, I know it's an important place to lean in and I know so it's new for me, but I also think it's really important. Anywhere where I am intrigued, I know it's an important place to lean in, and I know that it's an important place for other people to lean in as well. So thank you for coming on this journey.

Speaker 1: 16:27

I encourage you to start to get curious around this idea. Get curious around how pleasure could be impacting your happiness, could be impacting your joy, could be impacting your joy could be impacting your ability to take up space In this world. You are meant to take up space, especially if you feel like you're one of those people who is called Not everybody is Some of us are meant to. Some of us are really meant to step into our power in this lifetime to really shine our gifts in the brightest way possible, to our power in this lifetime to really shine our gifts in the brightest way possible. And your curiosity is the loving key to that door. So keep following it, my untethered friend, so proud of you for continuing to follow the breadcrumbs of yes for yourself and those breadcrumbs of curiosity.

Speaker 1: 17:15

As always in a Thursday Thread episode, we are going to end with a moment of conscious breath. We're simply going to pause and connect to your joy, to your center of joy in your body. So, taking an inhale in with me into the nose and exhaling out through the mouth and continuing to rotate into the nose, out through the mouth, if you are mobile, just continuing to breathe while keeping your attention where it needs to be, or coming back and listening to this later If you are seated and able, on your next exhale, closing your eyes Now, continuing to breathe into the nose and out through the mouth, feeling the cool air on your nostrils as it goes in the temperature of air as it exits your mouth. There you go, just letting yourself breathe, and maybe you begin to notice the sensations in your body as that breath enters, as your body expands, that little bit of release in the muscles as you exhale. Maybe you notice that on that expansion there's a little bit of energizing of the cells On that exhale again, noticing the relief of that release On your inhales now inviting joy, aliveness into those vibrating cells of your body, those tiny particles vibrating like they're sighing relief on the exhale.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Breathing in, releasing, energizing, joyful vibration on the inhale, joyful vibration on the inhale. Letting go, trusting on the exhale, breathing in joy, safety, exhaling with trust, openness, beautiful. Taking a few more rounds of breath, feeling that joy, that vibrancy, inviting openness and trust on the release, recognizing how you can feel both, all of it in your body, on a single breath cycle. When you're ready, drawing in one last inhale in through the nose and holding at the top, allowing that joy, that energetic vibrancy to expand. Big sigh on the exhale. Ah, turning back to your natural breath, placing one hand on your heart space, one hand on your belly, thanking yourself for showing up for this practice, thanking your body, thanking your lungs, your heart, every cell for simply being Beautiful. When you're ready. You can find your feet beneath you, maybe wiggle your toes, maybe move them across the ground, maybe rub your fingers on the texture of your shirt, fluttering your eyes open and coming back into the present.

Speaker 1: 22:21

Thank you so much for joining me in this episode and exploring the landscape of pleasure. It means the world to me that you would listen to this episode, that you would participate in a moment of breath with me. If this sparks any curiosity in you, I encourage you to dive deeper. Maybe go follow Courtney, go follow other people who are exploring what it means to step into feminine pleasure, feminine joy and expansion. If you enjoyed this episode in particular, I encourage you to share it with a friend. You can also take a screenshot of the episode, put a little link to the episode itself. Tag me. I'm on tetheredgen on Instagram. I will always reshare your posts. Thank you once again for listening. You just keep shining our magical, vibrant unicorn light out there for all to see. I'll see you next time. Bye.