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Speaker 1:
this blew my brain and it relates to men's business success and their sexual performance and how they interrelate to each other. There was a study done and we're going to talk about this in here. First of all, thank you guys for coming. This is crazy valuable. This I'm going to talk about this study, and the study showed that men who were exposed to cultural images of masculinity had significantly higher levels of sexual beliefs that increase vulnerability to sexual dysfunction than to those who weren't. Holy hell. This means that men who were exposed to at a younger age stoicism, jack photos of guys the men who we should be made us more vulnerable when it comes to sexual performance. How interesting, because I know that the women have this whole conversation around the sexualization of women and how women have these really high standards to meet and it's impossible and makes them feel really insecure about themselves. But this is happening to men in real time. There was another study done that also showed it was something like 50% of men experience some sort of sexual dysfunction. So it is crazy to show that the pressures of sexual function on men is extremely high, and a lot of them were because men had these pressures of sexual performance from being exposed to these images. So what does that mean? Let's dive into it, because there's a lot here that you can take away. And, by the way, you listening and watching long-form videos if you're here and watching this takeaway. And, by the way, you listening and watching long form videos, if you're here and watching this, you're the one percenters, apparently, in terms of attention span. People who can watch long-term videos and listen to long form podcasts have more attention span than everyone else, and we're living in the age of attention. So congratulations for being here, studs and studettes. So how does it relate to business performance? Well, most men validate themselves through how much success that they can achieve and if they don't achieve that success, they beat themselves up Self-hatred, self-love, low self-love, low self-worth, which prevents them from getting to the next level in business.
Speaker 1:
What is an extremely prevalent topic in a lot of people that I coach in the Set, the Standard community, is men who start succeeding cap their potential because they're too scared of separating themselves from the crowd, succeeding too much that they're going to not receive as much love as what they need because the people around them won't be able to relate to them. No one can relate to me anymore because I'm too successful, meaning I'm not going to get the love that I want, which comes from not receiving their love from their parents. Now, who do they idealize at this time? Right, they idealize really successful men, so they attach their worth. Hey, if I'm as successful as this guy, I'm gonna get some love. That might be someone like arnold schwarzenegger. That could be some other like sylvester stallone is real successful. You know, jacked guys.
Speaker 1:
A lot of men idealize now, the same way that we relate to our own business success. If we relate our sexual performance to the standards of this person, hey, hey, my sexual performance is going to. If I'm not successful enough and I'm not jacked and ripped enough as these guys, if I'm not healthy and focused enough and I'm never going to be worthy of love and I've never been shown love or any self-worth when it comes to being in the bedroom, of course you're going to freak out. I just feel so sorry for any men in this position, just knowing that when I'm going in here, I'm actually not feeling safe because I feel like this person right here is going to be judging me and criticizing me and immediately I don't feel safe anymore. I don't want to open up my heart and my soul and emotionally connect to this human because I'm just going to get judged and shot down because I'm not good enough.
Speaker 1:
This is an extremely common story and the same pattern that holds us back from sexual performance is the same pattern that holds us back from business success. And you can't tell me anyways, because I work with some extremely successful people and some high-level entrepreneurs, and before they break through into the next level of business, whatever it may be, whether it's like a million dollars or $2 million, 10k a month or 15K a month or 20K a month, whatever it is, majority of the time it's a mindset thing that's preventing them from getting there, which is what it does. Is your unconscious brain like subconsciously, what your mind does is it starts tricking you. You get distracted imposter syndrome, shiny object syndrome, something like that. I'm going to focus on everything else other than the tasks that I'm supposed to be doing to grow my business, which is just a distraction to prevent me from having to get outside my comfort zone and do the challenging tasks of maybe hiring someone, spending more money on ads, more money on stock leading people being seen by people, because we all know there's crazy statistics now that show that people are way more likely to buy something if they have a relationship with the founder, right? So, like, everyone knows who Elon Musk is, so they want to buy a Tesla. If there was no such thing as Elon Musk, how likely are you to buy a Tesla? Some people will be like, hell, yeah. But a lot of people will be like, well, I want to buy a Tesla. If Elon's not talking about it, then why would I? So if he was promoting Toyota, I'm sure Toyota sales would go straight up, right.
Speaker 1:
So what is meant by this is that when we don't have the trust in ourselves and feel safe, we just think we're going to get criticized, which holds us back from reaching our full potential. And when we understand what the link is and we can trace it back, so we go back and be like, okay, where is this actually coming from? Is it coming from my parents? Is it coming from some other fears, the judgment, something that I feel shameful about, something I regret, something like that. When we figure out what that is, we can then unmangle it, untangle it and start taking action. Because now we know what the fear is, then we have to face it and as men, we want to overcome our fears. But if we don't know what our fears are, then we're never going to overcome them, and it's really quite that simple, to be honest.
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So what can men actually do about this? Well, the goal is to become extremely comfortable without the fear of being judged. It's your skill in order to get vulnerable. Now, vulnerability has two Ps One is pain and one is power. People are afraid to be seen in their power in case they're disconnected from people. It's way scarier than actually being seen in your pain, because you know that when you're seen in your pain, a lot of people can relate. It's just a little bit scary. Seen in your power is always way, way scarier for majority of people, especially that I've been exposed to.
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So your skill level in this situation is to build up so much self-confidence inside yourself so that any of these hurdles that come along the way you can go emotionally regulate and dive straight in. And the second that you can emotionally regulate, that's when your sexual performance increases. The second you emotionally regulate, that's when you make better decisions in business and you start progressing towards your goals. And I really think that there is some empathy and some education due for men here, which is going to help men become absolutely unstoppable. No one wants to be some fat guy who ejaculates really quickly all the time at home alone, masturbating, playing video games. Like that is not the ideal scenario. The ideal scenario is for someone who has a really respectable physique, who's doing well in business, can hold down a really awesome conversation with his partner and just has all around stud energy, which you can get, and I'm going to teach you now how to do it. So there's a process called SMS and for all men to use this, it is One of the best ways that you can. When you apply this module, when you can apply this module to your life, that is when you can start to make things transcend really quickly.
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The first S stands for surrender. Surrender meaning you're going to feel some emotions, whether that be fear in the bedroom, fear in the business, fear to grow, whatever it is. You have to acknowledge that fear and surrender into it and you have to feel it right. We know I got to feel this Most men. There's another study here that I have on my computer that shows that majority of men try to avoid and will not disclose that they feel any sort of anxiety or depression, and that will just repress it. So there's undiagnosed mental health issues in so many men and they said that all the mental health issues are skewed because men just don't want to talk about it. Right, and the key for us to break free from that and become extraordinary is to talk about it.
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Every single successful guy you'll see on a camera talking if they have some story that they tell that is so powerful and it's tear-jerking you're like holy hell, you have one of those stories and being able to share that story and craft it is what gives you power. Everyone knows Alex Hormozy's, arnold Schwarzenegger's got a story, elon Musk has got a story all those guys right, there's crazy stories of them getting up there. So this is the process. First thing you got to surrender into your emotion and feel it, which looks like just feeling it, not avoiding it, sitting there if it is talking to a close friend about it and just like journaling on it. Whatever it is. Feel those emotions and don't feel like you're a little bitch about it, like no little bitch energy. I think the little bitch energy is the guy that sweeps everything under the rug, never faces his emotions, projects all over his kids. His kids hate him, his partner wants to leave him and he can't get a better job in business. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Screw that. That was my dad and I don't want to be like him in that situation. He's an absolute G now, but back then I didn't want to be like him. So surrender inner feelings and feel the emotions. That's S.
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The next one is M. This one's going to move your body. We all know that emotions get stored in your body. You have to move your body in order to crush it. So sometimes that can be a run. Other times I can be getting flowy, actually setting up some time to dance around your room or in the car, whatever it is. Sometimes it looks like grabbing a bat and beating the living shit out of some pillows or something else, or a boxing bag. Sometimes it looks like going to the boxing gym and just smashing a bag, real angry, when no one's around. Sometimes it does look like going to the gym. Other times it looks like getting creative, filming yourself, posting something on social media.
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Whatever it is, as long as you are moving your body with the intention of I got to get rid of this energy. A lot of it's screaming, yelling, running, shaking your body. Whatever it is, let let your emotions guide you. So, if you're feeling joy and excitement, let your body, yeah, move around and dance. If you feel sad, I also encourage you to dance. If you feel extremely passionate, like, yeah, and you want to go for it, scream yell, punch. If you're feeling extremely angry, then same thing Scream, yell, punch, let it out. So let your intuition sort of guide you in regards to your emotions, with what emotions that I'm feeling and how you need to move your body, but respect it Like we're human beings, and people don't respect their bodies and they expect that we're emotional beings and we store our emotions in, literally in ourselves.
Speaker 1:
We store it in ourselves. Science proves it. That man going to get rid of it. Three is share, sms, surrender, move, share. Three is share SMS, surrender, move, share. You got to share it. If you bottle up your story, if you bottle up the things that are holding you back, and even if you surrender in and you move your body and you don't share it, that's like the most important piece It'll always stay within you and that looks like sharing it to the person who you're most scared of. Jordan Peterson talks about this a lot, right Face your demons, what you get exposed to, you get stronger at.
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So, for example, whenever I have something come up in my relationship and I have this memory where I regret where it might be around women or it might be around some stupid thing that I did something like that, if it comes up to me, I go oh, I need to tell my partner this because I need forgiveness from her. So I'll immediately just go and tell her like, hey, I did this thing and I extremely regret it. I'd love your feminine forgiveness. She goes, of course I forgive you and I love you, and I'm like, oh, what a weight off my shoulders but so scary coming in to tell someone like where these emotions come from and if we don't own it, it's poison. Now, therapist, you don't want to go and emotionally dump on people, but it's to get clear on some of the important things that you need to share in terms of feeling your emotions and then moving them and then asking permission like, hey, can I share this story with you? I need to get it off my chest. And if someone says yes, and they've given you permission, tell them and then also learn how to convert that mission and that shared message into power, because if you can create content around that message that's going to set you free.
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The second you feel comfortable and comfortable to talk about whatever it is that feels scary for you. It no longer holds power over you anymore, but until you can talk about it, it's going to consistently be the boss. Men will commit suicide. It's going to consistently be the boss. Men will commit suicide. Men will fall into depression. Men will sabotage their business and their relationships and cheat on their partners and drink and gamble and get fat just because they haven't shared some of the stuff that is inside their hearts. And the second that they do that is when you become a super masculine beast. No one can mess with you.
Speaker 1:
It's the Eminem theory, right? Eminem, at the end of 8 Mile, when he was rap battling, told the rapper all of the things that the rapper was planning to say about him, to diss himself and then diss the rapper back. So the rapper had nothing. He just choked when he went to speak. He's like you've ripped me apart, apart man. Like you've ripped yourself apart, I got nothing. Okay, it's sort of that.
Speaker 1:
That theory it works. Worked in the movie if it created emotion in you watching it. Obviously it's going to work in real life as well. And that's the theory and that's just owning yourself and taking responsibility. Every woman wants a man who has done the inner work. Every child wants a man that they can, wants a dad and a father that they can connect with truly, who's not afraid and can show them the way. Every young lad who wants to get into a business or girl wants to get into a business and look up to a leader who can lead with power and integrity needs one of those guys.
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So if you guys take anything away from this, remember that SMS is the way to go and that when you're free and you can share these things, of these vulnerability and insecurities, your sex life increases, because the only thing that's preventing you from holding on a hard-on for over an hour is the emotions that you feel and the condition response to quick dopamine hits. And I believe that us searching for quick dopamine hits like validation on our phones or whatever it is, every time we search those quick hits is just an escape from trying to feel something that we're avoiding. So you want to play big, you want to put your big boy pants on and start crushing it? This is your opportunity to open up. The world needs you, your partner needs you, your future business needs you to level up and this is the first thing.
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Before any marketing campaigns, before you know any nitty gritty digital stuff that's going to help you progress in your business or your life, to attract money, all of that can be a complete distraction until you work on this, and I've worked with hundreds of men and I've seen it happen again and again and again. So this is your invitation If you like this video, hit that subscribe button. If you want to join my community, hit the link below. Big love guys, and see you in the next one.