Corey Boutwell Podcast
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Corey Boutwell Podcast
My Personal Life Update From August #249
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If you’re new to my page my name’s Corey Boutwell. I’m the founder and CEO of men’s personal development company Set The Standard. I’m a professional bodybuilder, I have coached over 300 men to their full potential and created a multi six figure business in just 3 years. This podcast is where I share EVERYTHING I learn along the way.
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guys, here is a little update from august in cb's life. Let's go. So, essentially, my partner and I we broke up in july, oh yeah, and then we got back together. So super handy we, we I definitely wanted to as well, because, god damn, I love that woman and our old relationship died, which was fantastic, meaning that old versions of me had to die, old versions of her had to die, and it's very interesting what we've learned in regards to, especially with personal development, personal development, coaching and everything else. It's like, okay, they had to die for a certain reason. Can we let them go and do we? How do we not bring those parts with us?
Speaker 1:It's been very interesting in regards to someone who, you know, really tries to commit to purpose and commits to being the best version of themselves. How, in real time and in real moments when reactivity comes up, when disagreements come up, when something comes up and we just solve it and it's so interesting that it comes always comes down to just have this like mind-blowing moment consistently, regularly, like this keeps coming up, of going. Every time, something that is happening that creates a struggle in your life comes down to a hundred percent, just comes down to something you have to heal. In here and in here, like everything I'm feeling like every single business block, relationship block. It's like, oh, there's this unconscious part of myself that I haven't integrated yet. I've got to go find that. So this past month I have been founding, finding, founding, finding so many unintegrated parts of myself, things that have been unconscious, and it's just been like one thing after the next, which is absolutely nuts. And I really think breakups are the catalysts of growth, like my biggest growth, like when I created Set the Standard, was around a breakup and I was like I did a business course and then I was like, oh my God, I'm going to create a podcast, I'm going to create these courses, I'm going to all this energy come out. And it was just me focusing on myself and you know, we had like four weeks apart, something like that. So weeks apart, something like that. So I was besting in counseling. I got an energy healer and I've just been learning so much and it's just been like wow, like I was already learning a lot.
Speaker 1:But there's this whole integration embodiment pieces insane, cause we teach this at the next level, so we teach people how to embody and I've gone through different embodiment practices before and then it's noticing like, as well, like, no matter how much work you've done, there's more to do, like there's so much more. But it will come in seasons and it's like cool. I'm at a season right now where I want to practice and really embody all of this embodiment stuff so that I can be a stronger leader, that I don't have to react as much, I can think calmer and clearer and attract more abundance into my life, which is insane, right. So here's what I've learned in this process. One One I have more mother wounds than what I thought. So I've done so much mom stuff before in like inner child healing, all the rest of that, and I teach it, we teach it in Set, the Standard community, and I've done some crazy things to heal.
Speaker 1:That had some wild conversations. I remember writing my mom a letter or like everything that essentially it was like a breakup with the mom. I was like you know, if you don't read these and can't get through this, then I don't know how I'm going to love you Like I won't be able to do that. And she read it like a champ. We had these crazy conversations and I really wanted to break the bond between her seeing me as a son and me, her seeing me as another male Cause like mom. I'm like mom. I'm like 26, 27 years old right now. Like you can't be talking to me like this. We had this huge conversation around and it was, it was actually insane and she took it so well and it was one of the best conversations ever and we've continually had conversations and talked about stuff and then the more that I've dug in, like recently in regards to the relationship, because a relationship is going to show you, like all your, all of the bad things about yourself and it's supposed to right, you're supposed to be able to because you love someone. I find that you're supposed to find those bad things about each other and work on them for yourself, like by yourself, but you're doing it together. And it's like having that safety and trust that like, oh, this person's supposed to bring up all the shadows and all the unhealed things in me and I'm going to be reactive and I'm going to be messy and I'm going to be unconscious and I'm going to get disassociated, I'm going to be avoidant and however way you know, you come up with it and they're going to love you even in the process that you, even though that happens, they're still going to love you and you're going to integrate it and they trust that like, oh, I'm going to integrate this stuff. So that's been absolutely insane.
Speaker 1:I also started working out like way harder. I was already working out super hard and I was like, well, this is fantastic. Um, uh, it's like it's crazy. You think a relationship is bad, especially when it's breaking. Most of the time, it's going to be the best thing that's happened for you, like for for both of you, especially in the relationship too. So really had a good mindset switch of being like this whole thing is happening for us and it was really awesome. You know, looking at, like my partner Chloe's intuition in regards to like this has to happen, I have to see this through and we have to do this so that I could be like, oh, this is so good. This is definitely the mirror that we've needed to get to the next level of not just our relationship but our life as well. Like it's because into what it's interwoven in like your future, which is just it's really cool.
Speaker 1:So I get, I get envious when other people win. I didn't even realize this was a part of me. That's like that's still, even though I'm like I pride myself in celebrating people, there's still a part of me that would like get envious. It's like unhealed part of myself that was there. I've done so much work on that recently and being like it's really interesting. When you do the work to unheal envy, you go well, not unheal, to heal envy and to to remove it. Actually being there is very interesting. How much more calm you feel all the time. It's kind of uncomfortable how calm you feel like like it's. It's really weird. I know it'll come up again at some point, some way shape and form, but for the moment it's like this is really cool and very at peace that have unhealed this thing inside of me.
Speaker 1:Because essentially, envy is like. It's like there's this really good description of it and I can't remember it right now, but something along the lines of, something along the lines of it's like you're buying into someone else's future and dreams and it's like and you're not living. It's like someone else is living the dreams that you're not allowing yourself to live. That's like the description and it's like okay, if you allow yourself to live your dreams and chase them, then it's completely fine because you're merging your path with someone else's and not being 100 like dedicated to your own. So when you shift that and you go, oh, I'm just going to work on my own and follow my own and follow my own purpose and get clearer and more like, have more vision on that, that's when you get it. So that was an insane lesson for me.
Speaker 1:I would disassociate when people give to me. I don't even realize I did this. So, even when it's compliments or someone's teaching me or someone's like you know, actually giving me a gift or talking to me really well, so I'll be in a conversation with them and then my mind starts thinking about oh, something else the other day and all this thing and all this and, and I kind of freeze up and I didn't even realize that that happened, but it does. I didn't realize how much I disassociate and I'm going to tell you guys, this is nuts, because if you're listening to this and you're like me and I believe it's like 90% of men do this every time that you feel that you need to be alone, any time that you go oh my God, this is like frustrating. How can you? You need to change right.
Speaker 1:Anytime you go oh my god, this is not me, oh my gosh, or you get really angry and frustrated and you go I'm not going to say anything. And then you sort of go off on your own and you just think of all these reasons as to why they've pissed you off. Something like that you're disassociating. The second that you feel that you want to go to work. The second that you're like I just need to go to the gym. The second that you're like I just need to go to the gym. The second that you feel that you're like hmm, I'm going to start cleaning, or something like that you've disassociated. Which essentially means because I didn't really know what people meant when they're like oh, what does it mean by being in your body? Like. People say that like oh, get in your body, like, be in your body more, be more present in your body. But for me, I get. What does that feel? What's that like? And that is what that feels like is it's?
Speaker 1:You're 100% aware of what's going on in your mind when you're talking to someone. And when you notice yourself start disassociating, you go well, let's come back and focus attention on them. This doesn't have to be about me. My emotions and my feelings at the moment don't actually matter and I can think about them later, but in this moment, right here, I'm going to choose to calm down, I'm going to choose to relax and I'm going to really choose to listen and I'm going to choose to take all of this in and not be so in my head and the term in my head actually just means when you're letting thoughts run wild, which is, and you're, and you're allowing those thoughts to, you're starting to drift off into those thoughts that is disassociating. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:Like I just go numb, blank face and go yep, yep, yep, huh, like I do it in like my relationship, when Chloe would call me out on something and I would say, instead of being like, oh, yeah, no, that's fine, yep, I get it, yep, I understand, yeah, I'll figure that out later, I'll do this later. Yep, okay, yep, makes sense, okay, good, when I'm in that language, boom, pure disassociation. I was like I didn't even know it, disassociated. What Like that actually blew my brain. Uh, when I was thinking about that, I had fear around traveling.
Speaker 1:There's nothing I learned. I had that. I have fear around traveling by myself because I thought my partner would leave me. I was like, oh, chloe's going to leave me if I go travel by myself, because I have evidence that anytime I did anything on my own in previous relationships I'd get cheated on, and that was reinforced from this story that I created in my head because my dad didn't want to travel, because his dad traveled and lost all his money. Essentially, he spent all his money traveling. So dad's creating a hub at home and safety here that I can control so I never have to like lose money. And then my mom always wanted to travel but then she personally spent all of her money so that she couldn't, you know, go traveling and saving for her was very hard because she has to like give, to get attention and approval all the time, which is always given to my nephews and given to everyone else.
Speaker 1:So so that is like my mindset around traveling and being by myself, and every time I've had massive expansions in my business in my life I have come from some sort of travel where it's local, international, whatever. Whatever it is. We've done some sort of traveling. It's been like holy hell. This has been so beneficial for my soul.
Speaker 1:Where I'm doing some form of traveling, and especially when it's by yourself right, it's by yourself or just with a partner. If you're traveling with a partner, you're spending some time on your own so that you can really reflect. And I was so interesting that I was like, wow, this is one of the reasons that I couldn't travel. So I had that conversation with Chloe and it like blew my brain. To be honest, with that, what's going on here? Another one my dad only has dated women that he can save. And I'm like dad same bro who would have thought so. Looking back at every single partner that I've had is like how can I help this person? How can I save this person? Like they're damaged, like me, so if I fix them, I don't have to look at my own shit. That was a crazy lesson I learned about myself.
Speaker 1:My self-worth comes from huge amounts of needing approval. I knew that from growing up, but not as much as I know it now. So when I'm talking to my team, like the guys on team, or when I'm talking to friends or my partner or anyone else, I'm always I'm like am I seeking for approval here? Like, is this some sort of how am I making this conversation about me? Do I need to talk about something to gain approval? Can I just listen and ask this person questions and just make it not be about me Because I'll probably get conversation. If that's the case, because I'm always making about me, it's like I'm trying to get this confirmation about myself which is false and it's a lie. Like it's not true because you're manipulating people to confirm stories about you and you're not learning about anyone else. And I feel like if you're learning about other people and you're just noticing your thoughts and how you react to them, you're going to learn more about yourself in that situation than trying to make the conversation about you all the time. So I was like what is going on here? So that was pretty insane. Um, I, and because of needing for approval.
Speaker 1:Other thing that I learned was I always tend to be a control freak, like always, which is why I talk about in my content a lot at the moment, cause I'm like man, if men remove this control freakness about themselves, like they're going to be so much more abundant, so much more purposeful and so much more happy. Right, because control freak looks like this if something doesn't go the way that I pictured, I freak out and I try to make everything calm and I manipulate everyone around me to make sure that it does, because I'm way more comfortable in chaos. So it's like I'll try to calm everything down and manipulate everything, but that ends up creating chaos in my life because I'm rushing everywhere, I'm too tired to go here. I've tried to squeeze these like six, five things in in my routine or in my day when it's like hey bro, like you only just need to do two things in your day Like two to three things is like it, anything else is too much, you're not doing anything well and you can let that go and do it another day. And I found like that has really increased my productivity, especially over the last like four weeks. It's just been absolutely insane.
Speaker 1:Now money blocks come up in the form of self-doubt, like this, right, content blocks, because you know I create content, get money, um, content, nothing I post is even good anyway. Oh, it's not, it's not valuable to anyone. I only got like a thousand views on that reel, any of that mindset stuff, just noticing. I'm like, wow, how's this coming up like? And it's all coming up from working on myself and it's interesting because I've worked on it before and it's just resurfacing itself again and you go, ah, again. And that's what it's like with.
Speaker 1:You know, with the continual practice of working on yourself, right, you never actually stop because it's when you stop and you stop catching. These things is like when you start to lose your power and that's when it comes and takes over. Sort of like going to the gym, right you, if you stop going to the gym, what happens to you? You get really skinny, you lose all your muscle, you put on body fat, right. So when it comes to developing your mind and becoming a great version of yourself, you have to be doing this all the time and I've noticed this is a great reminder messaging blocks.
Speaker 1:So I'm like what happens is like oh, nothing that I say or do resonates with anything. Nothing that I say resonates with anyone or anything. There's no point even saying anything because you know what do I even do? Again, what's this? Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:And it's like that has all come from the triggers that have happened over the last like four or five weeks, and it's like, oh, this has just been an undertone here the whole time and that's from self-doubt. It's got nothing to do with the actual messaging. It's just because it's like there's no, there has previously been no like as much strong enough belief and excitement and enthusiasm and you can show it. Like you know everyone's probably watched my content, been like, oh yeah, like cool, he's crushing it, he's very consistent and, you know, posts all the time and is enthusiastic, and it's like you can have all those things but then, behind the scenes, be freaking out on a consistent basis and have this like undertone, of which I think so many men live with, like even women.
Speaker 1:So many men and women just live with that consistent sort of needing to fight, or this panic which that takes you out of your body, puts you into your head. We've talked about them beforehand being extremely present and conscious and aware of what's happening and, hey, showing up in the moment and instead, um, being your head thinking I need to do this, I need to do that, should be doing this, should be doing that. Oh, that's not right, that's not this. And so getting out of that and coming back has just been so powerful and I think like I was having a conversation with a friend. It's like who do you think is more powerful?
Speaker 1:The version of you who is asking yourself what you need to be doing all the time, rushing it could be posting on social media all the time, working all the time and thinking like I need to do this got to be working, got to be grinding, or the version of yourself who is so present and aware that's like in this moment, like right now, what is the best thing for myself that I should be doing right? And if it's work, work, and if it's coming up with ideas, it's come up with ideas. If it is going over systems and planning or looking at your life, you do that and that's what works. And then I think what you'll find is over a week, when you're organizing your routine, it's like you'll have structure throughout your week that you want to adhere to and do adhere to. But the second that you're in your head and not in your body, the practice is like okay, let's get back into here, because the person in this position is going to be making way better decisions than the person who's in the head all the time, disassociating, right. So I think it's very important.
Speaker 1:The other one was coaching blocks. So, like in my own mind, I'm like oh, no one I even coach gets any value like that. Those thoughts are popping up in my head and I know that's not true, but it doesn't. It doesn't stop the thoughts that come into your mind. You're like why are these things happening? Like what? Why is this? Why is these thoughts coming, coming into your head and like it's all come down to you know, it's the, the need for approval, it's the emotional fulfillment that I was trying to get out of the you know relationship anyway, because it's like oh, how can you complete me, how can you fix me? So learning that was just insane, and being able to convert that and switch that over has just been like um, a game changer, especially recommitting to that. Again, it's crazy, like the work never ends. Oh yeah, so work grind blocks.
Speaker 1:So this is the thoughts that come up self-doubt comes up looking like this there's no point to messaging anyone. Uh, no one can afford anything at the moment. Buying, buying into society is like oh, like the, the whole markets are coming down, blah, blah, blah. Buying into that, when some people are out there making like five hundred thousand dollars a day, you know what I mean. So buying into, like, buying into that sort of mindset of being like oh, there's no point doing this, there's no point doing any work, because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and noticing that come up and then being like okay.
Speaker 1:So these are thoughts in my mind, in terms of doubt, that are popping up because I haven't filled this cup up in myself, where it's like there's this deserving piece yet and that was showing up in the relationship all the time. So I'm like trying to get like my partner, to be like oh, how can you tell me and confirm to me that I'm deserving of love, right? So the turnaround part of this, like the biggest lesson that noticing that all of these were here is because it's like what I just truly want is to love and feel loved and be loved, and it's just reinforcing the mindset of you. First you've got to love yourself. What does that look like? It looks like journaling, it looks like talking to friends about it. It looks like saying things out loud to yourself. And it looks like saying things out loud to yourself and it looks like you know thinking about it as well.
Speaker 1:And anytime that you have a moment where you're like, oh, you're doubting yourself, how can I love myself more in this, in this moment? And I think that getting really present in your body and creating space, especially as a man like I've been taking a lot more. I would say it's not so much downtime, but I'd say a lot more stillness in small moments, just like when I'm eating, I like won't go on my phone, or I'm making sure that every single day I go for a run and sometimes, like I don't listen to anything and usually I'm like an audiobook addict, so I'm always listening to audiobooks. I'm not gonna listen to anything. And then these ideas come to mind. I'm like, oh, this is what's most important for me and I feel so much better about myself and oh, my god, I actually am amazing. I really do love myself and like, oh, I deserve all of this and everything that's happening right now is okay.
Speaker 1:Even if you are stressed, even if you have this bad thought, come in like it's all okay, this is all for you just to feel and experience, and can you be okay with these emotions and show them and not hide yourself from them anyway, and it's very freeing, like it's so freeing, and then that gives you permission to be yourself in the relationship and then your partner can actually support you, which is like this opening up piece. So how can men open up? Well, I don't think that's the right question. It's like, how can we give men permission to feel their feelings like that? And I believe, like, after doing like the past four, six weeks, like men are so much more emotional than women, like so much more emotional and sensitive.
Speaker 1:I feel like women have a better ability to feel their emotions in us, like in their brain, but I think men's are so afraid of feeling any sort of emotion because we don't want to feel this discomfort, and for us it's like easier to feel discomfort and pain in our bodies. It's like, oh, I'd rather feel this than have to feel that. So, you know, we'll overeat to cope and say, or we'll train so hard in the gym or we'll run or like whatever it is to try to, to try to, you know, we'll overeat to cope and say, or we'll train so hard in the gym or we'll run or like whatever it is to try to, to try to, you know, have this pain kind of come and come around us so we can feel an experience, because so that way we can actually feel something right. So that's what I truly believe and I think it's um, it's so important because it's just reflected in me. I'm like, oh, yep, this is me. I've been scared of this and, holy hell, I can feel and I'm a really sensitive guy. I'm really in touch with you, know my feelings and I try to avoid them all the time because feeling them is uncomfortable as hell. Um, so, yeah, they all come from needing to be loved. So I've been saying these things to myself can you love yourself enough to create space for yourself? Can you do fewer tasks in the week and do more of the fewer? Is the question so total? It's like, oh, I've got a million things to do this week. Like, okay, why don't you just pick two to four things to do during the week and just do them lots? Right, like what are the things that you just need to do? And do lots of those? Uh, because you'll be way more present and you'll be actually be able to get creative with them. Uh, recenter, and create ideas from being present. We've talked about that. And then just, can you, can you love yourself enough to not stress out and be rushing around all the time? I was like, right, just learning this is blowing my brain. This is really cool as well. Learn this too.
Speaker 1:Trauma causes dysregulation and you can heal trauma, which stops you from being dysregulated. Oh, yeah, so what that looks like is trauma, some sort of hurt or conditioning that you got from your parents, teachers, peers, partners and people as well, think like, oh, trauma only happens when you're a kid. It's like no trauma happened to you, like two years ago as well, like it's just this never-ending, never-ending pattern of your brains are used to feeling or experiencing something, so then it comes in and it conditions for you for how, what behaviors you need to show now, what behaviors need to show in this moment? And the trauma that you feel, um happens, dysregulate, dysregulates you. If you said what is dysregulation? Dysregulation is people pleasing, saying obviously, saying yes, when you want to say no, feeling guilty, feeling shame, feeling anger, avoiding, um detailing, so you're talking way too much about all the little details or something. When you just need to, like, land the plane, it's um avoiding eye contact, procrastinating, like all these different things are just when you're dysregulated. It's like when your nervous system feels some sort of charge, it's like nope, uh, gross, there's like some sort of negative emotion is just dysregulation. Like that's what it is.
Speaker 1:And all relationship issues can be solved with good communication, especially when you don't fear about talking about breaking up. Like I think the past, like since Chloe and I have been in this repair phase, we've been, we've talked about breaking up so much more in terms of like oh, this is why you know we broke up and this is what we want to do to not break up, and if we keep doing this, that's going to lead to another breakup. So just having those conversations, I believe, is one of the most powerful things ever that I've learned in August. That's like, you know, to make sure you have a healthy can, have a healthy relationship, and you know it's also hard. What else I learned? It's really hard to have a healthy relationship if you're not committed to your purpose and you know where you're going to career and you're not like building your best body, like either one of those just ruin relationships.
Speaker 1:I've been going away to Airbnb a lot more regularly and staying at friend's house for a couple of nights here and there, because time alone with good quality men has just been so beneficial for my mind and for sharpening my purpose and my vision and like making good career decisions. It's been fantastic. I went to a networking event and usually I'm like getting them, like, oh, I can't wait to meet all these people in my very in my head, and I approached this with a new intention. I'm like I just have trust and faith that I'm amazing. I don't need any approval from anyone and my intention is to take a back seat. Right, I'm just going to be take a back seat, but just be completely open and like and you'll have more opportunities, and I met some amazing people and opened up some insane opportunities, which is really cool.
Speaker 1:I completed a second podcast with John Gray. He's the world's leading relationship specialist and, oh my goodness, I learned a lot, and there's a meditation in there that you guys, it's going to blow your brain in terms of listening. What I learned in the meditation is push and pull at the same time. When you're really meditating, it's like he's talking about bringing abundance in and sending abundance out at the same time. When you're sitting there with your eyes closed and your inner trance, you can do two things at once. It was crazy. We were sending this energy. So I'm just online, like sitting on a computer like this, talking to John Gray, and my eyes are going glassy. I'm like whoa, just like. This meditation with a visualization was actually insane. Um, so that was awesome.
Speaker 1:I also facilitated the next level retreat with the intention of letting go and it was the most seamless, well-run, well-run, transformational experience we've ever facilitated for men and the testimonials were insane. So we do like a and then we do a shame release, we do an anger release, we've got leadership exercises, um, we plan out business and do like a commitment to purpose and throughout that we do a lot of team bonding and understanding where your triggers are to help you really understand, you, know, you, so that when you go back out into the real world, you can make more money, you can make better decisions in career, you can, you know you'll have like a newfound commitment to working out and building a strong body. So, like, all of that comes out of the retreat, like and you, just you just become more successful in every area, especially in regards to career, and, you know, building a strong body, which is just insane, and running that was just like mind-blowing. But, yeah, overall I would say August has been one of the best months of my life, like 2024, to be honest, like, even though it's been challenging, I'd say it's been one of the best months. There's been many hiccups and you know I've overcome them all and it's given me so much more grace and presence, which is which is a gift, which of which I could give to to you guys, like immediately, and I hope you do get some of that from listening to this podcast and I feel like I feel as a man.
Speaker 1:The last three months have been like the most transformational for me is a long time. Like personally as a man. The last three months have been like the most transformational for me is a long time. Like personally as a man, because I've done like a lot of reading and understanding so much. But the embodiment piece is like oh, it's so good that it's here.
Speaker 1:So what has contributed to that specifically has been these few things self-investment, investing in yourself oh, my goodness, I've invested to myself in the last two months more than I have in such a long time. Like, just like a hardcore investment, consistently like oh Triggan, I'm just going to go see a psychologist right now and I'll just go and see a psychologist. Um, I've surrounded by high quality men and women, which has been fantastic. I've been leading men like so actually leading men as a leader and practicing those skills has been fantastic. The breakup plus doing the work to heal myself and now repairing the relationship has been fantastic. Empowering other people to leave so that's like taking a back seat. How can I lift other people up? It's been awesome at any point.
Speaker 1:Doing that is so beneficial, having integrity to follow through with investments and coaching as well. Because I know when people, people join programs or people join something like this, like, like, set the standard or they'll join a fitness thing or they'll join a business thing or they'll join some sort of personal development thing, and then they bail halfway through. People will just bail out and they're like, oh, I'm not coming to that, I won't finish this thing whatever it is, and it's like the investments that I've made like cool, let's see this through the whole way to the end. Let's get exactly what I want to get out of them and you know most because most of the gold. I don't want to be that person who's digging the mine. They get two feet away from gold and bail out and I've noticed and I've seen a lot of people do this, like recently, and I know people who do, and it's like, well, I'm so happy that I don't like, I'm so happy that I commit the whole way through and that gives me more integrity, gives me more discipline, gives me more passion, it makes me feel proud of myself knowing that like, hey, I can get through.
Speaker 1:You know so much and it feels so good. It's such an integral part of myself that I've always kept and wanted to keep, you know, which I think is really cool. And then consistently redefining myself like let's redefine me, let's redefine who I am, and getting clear on that, who you are and what you're here to do and serve and get that super crystal. And that's been it for August. So if you found any benefit out of this, we'd love to hear from you, please.