OVERTHINKING UNDERSTANDING Podcast
Self-Care Sanctuary: Setting Boundaries and Finding Balance
Imagine the freedom you'd feel by saying 'No'. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's uncomfortable. But, the sweet relief it offers and the space it creates for self-care is priceless. Join us, Viktoriya Moore and Tiniqwa, as we open up about our journeys, juggling various roles and responsibilities, and the overwhelming exhaustion that stems from being perpetually busy. We'll share the lessons we've learned from our experiences and the strategies we've adopted to maintain our mental and physical wellbeing.
Do you feel like your life is one long to-do list? It's time to reassess, reprioritize, and reclaim your time. As we dig deeper into this conversation, we explore how to set boundaries, the power of saying 'no', and the indispensable role self-care plays in our lives. We share our struggles and successes in balancing work, life, and everything in between. We highlight the importance of empathy, supporting others, and creating safe spaces for spiritual fulfillment, without compromising our own well-being.
This episode also touches on a poignant and tragic event - the death of a young soldier. This story serves as a stark reminder of how unchecked emotions can lead to devastating consequences. We delve into the critical importance of emotional management, setting examples, and prioritizing oneself amidst chaos. We invite you to tune in, draw insights from our experiences, and, hopefully, find ways to better manage your own busy lives. [END]
Be genuine to yourself and kind to people.
Imagine the freedom you'd feel by saying 'No'. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's uncomfortable. But, the sweet relief it offers and the space it creates for self-care is priceless. Join us, Viktoriya Moore and Tiniqwa, as we open up about our journeys, juggling various roles and responsibilities, and the overwhelming exhaustion that stems from being perpetually busy. We'll share the lessons we've learned from our experiences and the strategies we've adopted to maintain our mental and physical wellbeing.
Do you feel like your life is one long to-do list? It's time to reassess, reprioritize, and reclaim your time. As we dig deeper into this conversation, we explore how to set boundaries, the power of saying 'no', and the indispensable role self-care plays in our lives. We share our struggles and successes in balancing work, life, and everything in between. We highlight the importance of empathy, supporting others, and creating safe spaces for spiritual fulfillment, without compromising our own well-being.
This episode also touches on a poignant and tragic event - the death of a young soldier. This story serves as a stark reminder of how unchecked emotions can lead to devastating consequences. We delve into the critical importance of emotional management, setting examples, and prioritizing oneself amidst chaos. We invite you to tune in, draw insights from our experiences, and, hopefully, find ways to better manage your own busy lives. [END]
Be genuine to yourself and kind to people.
Are you ready? Yeah, what's going on? Beautiful people, welcome back to Overthink and Understanding podcast. I am your host, victoria Moore, joined with my co-host, taniqua hey y'all. A real name, tochee, but she try to be professional, and today we will be talking about when life gets busy. So how we starting this off Like what does busy mean to you? It be like life busy. What does it mean to you?
Speaker 2:I always use the term life been life. That's how I define my busy Because, to be honest, we get caught up in just everyday life and we be so busy it be so hard to like what would be the word like go back and go manage. Yeah, like it be so hard to just make time. That's really what it is. The problem is making time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how I feel I be like when I be feeling like my life get too busy, I'm not managing my time correctly. It be like too much of my time and I'm not able to get everything done. And nine times out of ten it's the army. It be like you here all day and then you doing, you get stuff accomplished for them. I mean soldiers, whatever else, you, whatever else I got to get it accomplished for. But it's like I'm not managing it right Because you can tell them no, what you going to do, fire me. No, it's just like they might.
Speaker 2:Why can't I fire you?
Speaker 1:They don't work like that we be wanting to get fired, you messing around to get fired and you in past your contract for them, for they to fire you the way they want to fire you. You're like that, you getting trouble, you might get wrote up. You might not get wrote up. You might get talking to them. You're still there, you're like man, I just move, I'm dead. What's the personal experience you got about when your life got busy, like a busy period in your life?
Speaker 2:I can't say like now I feel like I'm real busy now. I feel like, um, so of course, like I told you earlier, we down to one car.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, like my life starts at like, I need to be sleeping now. To be honest, in order for me to have a productive day tomorrow, I literally need to be sleep by six. I'm going to give it a six because I wake up early as hell. I wake up like around 435. I take right away Gotta get back home. Every has to be a school at seven and then I have to be to class or like um to my internship by eight or nine. I have to get off, take my lunch late. Don't pick up every up Like it's a lot. Then, once I actually get off, every got full by practice at 530. So it's like mine's is just my, my, my bases are all loaded. I'm always doing it.
Speaker 1:I've been busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's that's a lot, yeah, so like now I can say all the other times I'd be like, oh, I'm busy, none of us and I probably be sitting at home scrolling on Facebook, but now, life be life. And I'd be so busy I'd be forgetting, like, oh, I didn't eat all day.
Speaker 1:I can. I can say the same thing right now. I think right now, well, it's hard, because my last job we used to fly, but you didn't really get like we didn't really get bothered while we were flying. I feel like now I'm actually busy, like I'm one person and it's like I'm in charge of 36 other people and 36 other people. Let's say you got 36 other people with 10 other problems that's what 3600 problems and it's just like now. It's like busy. On top of that, you got a spouse. On top of that, you got a house. On top of that, you still got. I got school and I'm trying to. I was not trying like it's done now, but like trying to finish up school taking two classes at once. So now you got you got to make the discussion for what you got to do your assignment you got to do, and it's just like now I feel like it's busy on top of that.
Speaker 1:I can't get fat I signed up for, can't get out of shape. You know what I'm saying. Like I did it, but you got to be in the same level shape when I wish. I just wish it to be normal, like you know what. You don't worry about if I'm healthy or not, or not healthy or whatever. Let me be whatever, cause that's a lot for you. Whatever size I want to be, whatever I want to. So now I feel like, like you say, life be life. And like I just feel busy, like I'm not if if so much stuff to do I'd be, feel like I'm not able to manage time and then, like boxing, like I want to box, I want to do my amateur fights, so it's just like in order to give anything to everything that you're doing, I just feel like I'm busy.
Speaker 2:So how does that mess with you mentally and physically, cause I know you got to stay fit for your job. What's?
Speaker 1:up. What's up? Like I I kid you not I feel like I will be in better shape outside of the service. Because go back to the thing is you busy? So, like I'm able to pass a PT test, no problem, and it don't get me wrong. Like you, you do one slip, whatever it might go down, but I'm able now, like I'm better, like I understand, like you have to work out every day or you ain't go back and do what you need to.
Speaker 2:But I'm.
Speaker 1:I ain't never been bad. The same thing in my kryptonite forever been my kryptonite running, other than that, like I didn't always been good on whatever I need to do. But right now I got a headache Like I got. I got a real bad headache and then you got I got three sets of lights shining in my face. You know, you got the dang noise and all you want to do is go to sleep. But this is something that you want to do. So physically I can say, like my body, like I feel like my body never really gets a chance to recover, Cause if I'm sore from the gym and I'm tired and I want to sleep, I got to give time to the spouse, I got to give time to whatever I need to do. So it's like, even though I'm tired physically, I feel like I never get a right chance to recover.
Speaker 2:And then mentally it's the same thing.
Speaker 1:Like I don't feel. Like when you get busy you're not. You're not able to sit there and think and process stuff as clear as you would want to. So then you just kind of go like the food time I could have waited. It's other things I could have brought in and did or whatever, but it's like no, I got to sit in my mind and this food time go help my mental health, cause it's busy. But I got something to confidence that I wanted to, and now it's like who, I'm sitting on it and if you know it feels good, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:I feel like both you get busy.
Speaker 1:It's a kind of like I don't know, father, what about you?
Speaker 2:Like you being a trend, I can say that I get that. Yes, oh, my gosh Cause. For me it's just like when I get busy, my problem is I try to do everything at once. So once I had something set in my mind like I try to like accomplish it all and if I don't, I'd be feeling so mentally defeated Like, oh, I didn't get to do all, like today, I had it set on my mind, we were supposed to. I was like boom, after church, we're going to go look for an ivory place for her to have a birthday. After that we're going to go. Well before that, we're going to go to eat. After that we're going to go look for ivory to have a birthday.
Speaker 2:I'm going to come home, take a nap, get up at eight, go grocery shopping and like my day going to be accomplished. All I got to do now is come home and clean up. Yeah, I didn't do none of that. I didn't do none of that. I got to church. We went out to eat. That took way longer than I thought. After that came home with the sleep and, to be honest, I just like I was just like I'm not even trying to do all that. I'd be so busy and I'm just always trying to like, accomplish so much and like that start affecting me mentally because I start being irrational. Like I start, I won't sit back and think clear Like I just start making stupid decisions. So, yeah, I definitely get that physically, I ain't gonna lie. It be like my body be tense, I ain't gonna lie. I've been going to get a lot of side, just lately.
Speaker 1:Yeah what I came back. I came back from training. I was in the middle of the mall getting broke down. I was like what get hurt? Like my back just started seizing up.
Speaker 2:And you start getting lumps and yeah. So I definitely been on the. Yeah, I need to at least go go look at the masseuse. Maybe.
Speaker 1:I'm more than yeah Chiropractic cause.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a practice.
Speaker 1:Them adjustments feel good yeah.
Speaker 2:So what? Like I haven't went to a year, though that again I haven't went to a car practice.
Speaker 1:I want you to like a car practice, like that little pop and stuff. It's kind of like a real much like I'm gonna say that you know, like when you hear about massages you feel like always going to be so relaxing and then when you get a massage, you like it kind of hurt, like they break they, like they breaking it down and they after a while or stuff, feeling even good, you get you on the sleep and stuff. But the car practice is almost kind of the opposite, like you feel a crack in the, in the pop or whatever, but it don't necessarily hurt, like you, just you like ooh, okay.
Speaker 2:So to see, my problem is I ain't gonna lie. Now I feel like I'll be going to the people's place to go to sleep. Oh yeah, they be rubbing me down with some CBD oil and I don't. I ain't never. I don't even use CBD oil at home. I never get it because it never works at home for some odd reason. But when I go to the masseuse place, I mean to get a massage. Oh my God, I'll be in there.
Speaker 1:You know why I get to relax. You get to like at the house, you like, man, this ain't gonna work. And then you tell yourself that it probably do the same thing. But you, you there. You like I get this 30, 45 minutes just for me. I'm gonna make it work, like that thing ain't doing no different than what it do at the house. But you're like, ooh, it feels good, like your mind able to, your mind is able to relax. So how can you identify triggers, like what's some triggers, when you know, like okay, my life is getting bigger? Or you can like know my life getting busy because of these triggers.
Speaker 2:I started getting moody and I stopped having empathy towards situations. Oh, like that's a good one. I start being like cause, like with my kids. I do a lot of the soft parents I'm not gonna lie Deal do the hard stuff. I'm the soft parent. Once I see myself not being that soft parent, no more. And like I start getting frustrated with Avery, like in the morning going to school, or I appreciate too, so you know what I'm saying. She's always in my face, or like my mama call and she's complaining about some and I just sort of kind of just even like at work, like I know that I'm, I need to take a break. I need to do like a mental health day. Yeah, it's like I do.
Speaker 2:I work at Catholic Charities and I do like the parents in class. Yeah, I do like that. Free diapers and stuff like that. If you come, sit into a class, like we got, like it's a whole bunch of stuff that they give out, like it's stuff for mama, some for all the kids, diapers as well, but it's free. Yeah, anybody comes to do it. Yeah, you got to have a kid under three, so three and under Long as they're in diapers, and then you can we have stuff for bigger kids, but that's the only way you qualify.
Speaker 1:Got you Okay, so I don't have nothing doing. Insurance or nothing.
Speaker 2:No, it's free. It's. You literally walk in the day of the class and you sign up, sign a paper. You don't really give too much information besides, like the kids, your name number, their ages and stuff like that and they do stuff. Like you know, you come to a class. One time you go into a raffle for Christmas. They'll give your whole household Christmas, but it's limited spots.
Speaker 1:No, that's pretty dope.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I said. I was like what I was doing? A Christmas call last week, but, yeah, a lot of the momma's come in there and they like missed the sessions. And I honestly, like I told you, anytime I get mentally exhausted, that empathy button goes off, yeah. And I remember like a momma was talking to me and she was like I just can't work right now, but you're missing the classes. And she was like, yeah, but that's cause I'm looking for work. Okay, but I didn't see you for like two months now. And at that moment, like me, I'm listening to myself respond to her like okay, but and she's just like, well, I'm not really trying to like use you, I just need the backwards, I just want to. I'm just like after that meeting, cause I apologize, I apologize to her. I was like, to be honest, I'm just overwhelmed, mentally exhausted, and it's not you, it's me. I end up apologizing. But after that I remember, like going to my boss. I'm like, yeah, I need to go home.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go home and take a nap.
Speaker 1:I think I think this. I feel like I have always, I feel like I have always lacked empathy button, Like no cause it's like I can understand and be like I have been in that situation.
Speaker 1:You can sit in the class, but no cause sympathizing is like feeling bad for somebody, like I feel bad, this is going on with you. I feel like you need pity, like I'm able to empathize with somebody in my head, but it's like I had it hard too. So it's just like if I felt I put myself in your shoes, it's like I put myself in your shoes and it's like I did this, and then people get to talking. It's like shit, you had it better than me.
Speaker 2:Like I. You don't come off like that. You might feel like you saying it, but you've never said it to me, even like when I probably complain.
Speaker 1:People are never like, people are never know. This is, it's just like a transparent thing I do on myself Cause you learn to, you learn to to navigate it Like I. I check myself because I know me as a person. So it's like dang, bro, like it's harder, but you know, like that's not so. That's what I mean. We're like I'm able to understand, like they're not me, so I can listen, I can get advice. But in my soul, in my body, I'm like, bro, like you, wouldn't you like we going through the same thing, like you think I got it better? Just because, like I'm not, we are going through the exact same thing, like exact same. Oh, I'm struggling, but me too, me too, and I ain't got no, it ain't no help. Like you know, you can get into the limbo and like shit, you can go out and get some assistance. I am the assistance I was just about to say. You are the help. You know damn, like you did, like when you are the assistance. You're like, bro, like I'm going through. So that was a good point.
Speaker 1:Especially, like with my soldiers, it sometimes is harder because it's like people got real life problems, people working two, three jobs, like it's soldiers working two, three jobs as soldiers and you got soldiers complaining about working Like you joined the military. You joined the army. This is not a regular job, it's not a, it's not a eight hours and you go home Like we trying to grow into that. And some jobs, some jobs in the military, had it. You decide to be a military culinary profession. You are a cook, regardless rain, sleet, snow. After shooter, you need to open. We got to cook Like the whole world will shut down if the cooks ain't in there cooking. And it's just like. You hear the soldiers complain of my biggest thing. They be like so I'm more aggressive and I'd be like. You want me to sleep with you, are you not my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my nuh, I'm here to. I supposed to be a service, it's not no wiggle room and sometimes I get it and it's like I'm just correcting you.
Speaker 2:Like I had.
Speaker 1:SEOs. That was hard days at work, hard times in their relationship, and they come in to make your life miserable. That's not me. I'm here to correct the physical and move on about my business. I ain't no period like I supposed to make you better. I can't make you better when you ain't even the standard right now.
Speaker 1:So that's really like so when you be like your empathy, but it's like at work, it's literally like that empathy but it doesn't push into the ground. And now it's more, just like I understand why I have to be at mentally when I'm going to work or it ain't gonna work out Cause just like you saying, you telling me that, but this cause the soldiers sitting up there, you get to go home. You ain't got nobody under you. You ain't got nobody. It's 36 of y'all. You got one of you and you telling me you can't get this done. And I'm like I got to write awards, I got to write freaking soldiers e-bows on top of going to school and all you're doing is going to work. You gotta be like, but you got to like kick it in now, All right. So that like that was good. I don't know Like, how do you?
Speaker 2:manage that? Like how do you know? I guess like so much to say cause I'm not like with me just going in social work. They always say, like how do you manage self? Oh, what is the word, I just lost it. How do you manage your self? Care to restart that empathy buddy, cause I know like we get so lost in being a robot.
Speaker 1:I feel like be truthfully honest. It's just like the military. You just know you got it, you don't. I was talking to one of the I say, chicks at work, but she, she, she above me, her name's Sarah Smith and she was like you don't really learn how to deal with it, you just adapt. So it feel like it's easier.
Speaker 1:Like as a as a cook, you wake up, you got to be at work and you got to be at work at zero, 445. So 445 in the morning, gotta be at work. You probably got to get up, let's say three o'clock, maybe two. The soldiers, they live on post so they might be waking up at 420. Ain't brushing no teeth, ain't earning no clothes. They come in to work dirty. You can't come to work like that. And then, on top of that, you go be at work from 5th time. 4 o'clock roll around. You ain't even reopening for your last meal yet the last meal don't start to like. So it's just like you just adapt to it. You just know like this is what my day is going to be like and I think I think what, what, what? Keep me from getting trouble, cause I ain't gonna lie, I ain't gonna trouble.
Speaker 1:I knocked over a trash can. So just say it. Soldiers say I threw it at them. But I didn't, I really did. I did. I knocked over the trash can. I was not stacking it up or whatever, but they empty. So like I'm upset, it's late, we doing it, snatching it up or whatever it fall over, but I had other people around.
Speaker 1:Long story short, you just learn like you got too much to lose. And I'm like when you get up into the position around a minute, like once you make sergeants, staff sergeants, sergeant first class, you know it's more like you can't have those laps and judgments. So then you just turn to yourself like it's not worth it. So then if I say you gotta listen, like you gotta listen, even if you like this is bull crap, you crying you couldn't be built, like what else, you just gotta listen. You gotta listen Like I don't know, you just gotta listen. You're a duck. It's kind of like it breaks you, but you don't really understand. Like dang, that's a crazy way to deal with it, but you just adapt to it. Like this is the life that I signed up for. So I gotta keep going Like you can't necessarily. You worry about yourself, care, but you can't worry about yourself, care.
Speaker 2:Oh, that sounds so bad, see, but that's why I love social work, because self care is such a big thing in the field of social work, like, true enough, you get in the field because you want to help folks. But you know what I'm saying. I feel like a lot of that has to do with, like me also wanting somebody to help me. Does that make sense? Yes, so, like myself, care it kinda helps with that as well. Like doing that kind of puts me in like self care, like I'm helping this person. Because if I was ever in this situation, or if I was in this situation you know what I'm saying I needed somebody like me for me. Basically, yeah, like sometimes I know when to turn it off If I cannot help this person.
Speaker 2:I got very vocal hey, I'm burnt out, I don't, I'm empty, I don't have nothing to point to somebody. I'm hearing everybody's traumas or whatever they're going through, and they sounded like excuses and sorry ass reasons for you to come talk to me. I need to go home, not a good day, but I don't do it often because I know a lot of people be like oh, then you probably get burnt out. It takes a lot for me to get burnt out because at the end of the day, I still do have to come home and still be a wife and a mom. So it's just like I know when. Okay, if my day is like, I'll tell my boss hey, I don't think I can meet with more people because at this point, like you know what I'm saying I still need that energy to come home to my husband and you need to take care of your own family, exactly. So I'm like, hey, I can't meet with them today, so I'm gonna reschedule it for tomorrow and we'll visit it. Then I'll make sure I let them know. I'll give them extra diapers if need be. They can't see me today, it's giving check back tomorrow and I'll pass it. I'll be like hey, see, because, like just working with Catholic charities, it's like a lot of different, because it's like a whole bunch of different places in there.
Speaker 2:I worked with, like the parent, pregnancy and adoption part and it's called PPA basically, and we all work together. So at times if I can't meet with a mama, or like I don't feel like having this one-on-one is gonna be beneficial for me, I can pass Like. I'll be like hey, kelsey, she real Kelsey, she's from Thailand, she come she a little different. She always had. I don't know what she be over there doing, but she come to work very happy and she leave very happy. I wanna be like her.
Speaker 2:I know the passing to her, but it's not giving me If I can't. Yeah, kelsey, so come take this mama, cause they getting on my nerves. It don't even be me saying that, getting on my nerves, it's just like I know what's healthy for me and I know when I can say no, like I know I'm learning to set boundaries and stand on those. So like with my mental health, that's a real big thing for me Cause, like I said, after I leave there I have to come home and still be a whole parent and a mama and he in a wife, and I don't want that my job to start affected. I'm trying, I'm starting early, so when I do like go to, like CPS and all that, that's a way different you have to understand how to navigate.
Speaker 1:So, like the thing that you said, that cause that's one, that's like one of a part of our segments. So you, like I'm learning how to say no, yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause, like at first, I don't. I tell people this on the time. I'm a people pleaser. I don't. Don't ask me why, I don't know, and it probably could have to do with probably my childhood. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It like make you feel good. I feel like some of the most oh, you know what I like to say in childhood. I can speak for myself, right, and maybe somebody can relate. It's kind of like that I ain't gonna say you feel worthless or you not use. I can speak for myself like when you help somebody do some Some nice, it's like it gives. It gives you like like purpose and meaning and right. You know, you know I said like you, you know you would get somebody to show up your back and you really mean it, but you still get something out of it.
Speaker 1:It's that feeling of like I'm not, I'm not necessarily useless or worthless. So it's like, well, if this, if this small act of charity, bond somebody, burger, 20, dot, whatever, and you can keep doing it, you really. But then you realize, like you said, like you're standing for earlier, like my cup is empty, like nothing is. I'm not even able to go recharge and Reset and pour back to myself. I'm getting so hot off of doing this for the people and I need this, this feel good. But if you go pour back into yourself, you realize like no, I do mean something.
Speaker 1:I do got meaning outside of helping people and you learn like help yourself and you, you feel the same way, like I accomplish something that I wanted to do today, or I'm better myself. I took, I took a class that I want to take, I got the degree that you like. Oh, I don't need this. I won't even say validation, but I guess, like self, you can get self validation instead of Looking for others. So I think that's normal. Like I say for myself, I do it and I'm like Well, I wouldn't like.
Speaker 1:What are you doing this?
Speaker 2:for like, are you going to extra malady? I'm like I'm getting something out of it. That's why I said like I feel like for me, like I Pick the best Feel to go in because, like real, you really do and everybody's not like me, but I do, I get something out of helping folks, even little bigger smile. I just met a group of girls, like literally for real. I'm in a group chat of girls I've never met a day in my life and a lot of them are younger than me. Yeah, I think I only know one person from social media, but it was through Ray, so I don't really personally know her. I haven't hung out with her, but uh, yeah, I was talking to one of them and she was just like you know, you're really like a Gym, like it's crazy.
Speaker 2:Cuz, like I've never met nobody that's like so willing to help, cuz I'm always like, well, you know, let me know, call me if I can help Any, it doesn't matter what it is, even for, like, her baby shower. Like I said, that was my first time ever meeting her. Yeah, but like I'm like girl like Tommy, if you need help Tommy, like if I can do something. And she was like, yeah, I'm okay, you bet. I'm like, no, you good, you good, like it's a blessing to be able to bless other people, whether it's it's with just a little bit, I'm not think I just bought some yarn. Literally that's all I did. Yeah, I bought her gifts and she was just like you know, I'm gonna pay you back. I'm like, yeah, that young was like a pocket dog, what you gonna, if I was broke, then get it. I'm gonna be broke even if you was to give me the dog. So it's just like, like I told her it was, it was the you. Me helping her Did more for me than it actually did for her.
Speaker 1:I know she probably felt like it didn't, but I got a lot of it, something such as so small, and that why I say like when, when life do get busy, like doing those small things that you want to do or makes you feel good, cuz like let's be for it. Like you said, you picked a job that you love, that you've been wanting to do, and you working with those people, you're gonna get that, that satisfaction. And some people, I can say some of us, like you, get into a job and it's like you at the job and it's a job and you working, and it's like it's not too much out of it. And I think that's what's the beauty of the other service. Like I get tired, other youth, like I've been sick and tired of the army forever. But then it's the people that you meet and the soldiers that you help and, like you said earlier, like I always think about I get out. Tomorrow. It's a soldier that I'm supposed to met two, three years down the line that won't be able to see like I'm just like you. I'm just I'm. I'm literally just like you.
Speaker 1:Probably came from the same struggle, whatever that you did and you can, they can relate, but I'm jumping out and that's when I feel like it's kind of like. Sometimes I feel like I stand on me for other people and not in the back. I just like you, I always you, like you said you want to be that person that you needed. So it's like I want to be. I want to be that leader that I Feel like I need it back then and I want to be able to impact as many people as I can.
Speaker 1:Like the group of SEOs I got right now. They don't been out to the house like they literally call me auntie, oh my god. But then like my soldiers, it's a different story. Like you know something don't get me wrong like my soldiers need something. They go come, they go, not get it done, but it's still at balance and, like my men might see you got away deep, like a close bond, than what man my soldiers do. But, like you said, it's just that they're helping somebody and man like you making a difference in somebody like, and that person can relate to you more than they can relate to somebody else.
Speaker 2:So right then, only that. Like I feel like with you just standing Standing service. That's why I always tell you like no, don't get out. I know you be tired and you kind of get burnt out like I'm tired, but I want you to stay in because it's a little girl, a little black girl with a big name that nobody can probably, probably pronounce. Don't come in. See where you have went, like you know what I'm saying? A lot of art code.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't get to go that far. So being able to see somebody that do see somebody that are made into the top that came from where she came from, beat the odds because, sure enough, like, like I said, statistically we probably was supposed to be dropouts somewhere with a whole bunch of kids.
Speaker 1:I put them in jail Like a doctor, couple kids laid up with a girlfriend, with a boyfriend on this day, and another jail. Well, for, like, I got that true, didn't?
Speaker 2:accomplish so much, because I know you might feel like, oh, there's nothing, that's just another, that's just something else up under my belt. No, that's big as hell to the little girl who's coming from the same thing. Don't even know where she, what she gonna do after freaking high school, let alone not even thinking about high school, because she in middle school thinking about dropping out.
Speaker 2:So no, it's just like that's why I always be like no, stay in, because you hear it all the time, like seeing these little kids and meeting them and they'd be like oh, oh, do you have?
Speaker 1:a lot of money. No, what's a lot of money?
Speaker 2:What some little girl. She was trying to pronounce my name because they she was like they would they always mispronounce her.
Speaker 1:I was like and you correct them every time every time she was like yes, you can Just a little girl with the big name correct them.
Speaker 2:Every single time she was like so so, with your name and all that, do they pay you a lot? Because they always, I don't know. But she's, she's humble, she's the homeless little girl and she was like, do they always? Do they always pay you good? Like, did you make a lot of money? I was like, no, ma'am, to be honest, I'm doing this for free.
Speaker 1:You can come. You can come across this desk and I'm gonna see where you at. I can't get you. That's the only difference.
Speaker 2:You can help me. And she was like she's like so awesome, what is your job? Like what did you go to school for? I was like as a social worker. I was like I'm in school to be a social worker. And she was like um, yeah, I probably won't make it to college.
Speaker 1:So that's, that's, that's who you do it, that's what you know what and like to be truthfully honest, like I think about stuff like that. Like back in mariland I had did this program called the hip program and I wasn't even supposed to be doing like Long story short, it's a task, and came down and they supposed to be like all these kids is poor and they hard and you're In the same thing. Like not tell that. I said all the time a lot of kids that in the hood they don't know they poor and the ones who do know they poor, they still think they bother like we don't know no better. Like you, you know you poor to you see something different.
Speaker 1:But Long story short, we end up doing this. Let so you have a senior work you like. If you didn't grow up in the two power, if you grew up in the two power house. So stand up, yeah, you, you sit, then you sit down, you do that. So, like I got to lead that little segment of the other, uh, your program I'm gonna find the video because my home girl, my home girl, judge a, recorded it and and long story short. We was up there and I was like I remember them telling me that my name my mama couldn't spell and I go on looking at my mama crazy like you really didn't you.
Speaker 1:I was like you could ask Nobody how to spell victoria. You just go sit. Now. I got a little diss like, so I'm sitting up in there. Victoria and first it's victoria. The only thing different is the yuh. At the end it's a k instead of a c, but they make the same sound.
Speaker 2:But you don't know.
Speaker 1:So even something as simple as that, you're going through life with insecurity like Dang man. I got this name, my mama can't did. My mama looking me the same way like shit, yoti's telling me you can't spell, you can't talk about. Can I spell? You ain't that's, that's better, no, better. So like I end up, I end up, uh, doing getting a little private jet program job and I remember looking at those plaques and this like let's, it's a gold bar, the like pilots, and I'm talking about it on a lot of episodes and I remember it saying victoria, and I was like that's felt like like my name, so fast forward, I'm able to go to that program with them kids. And I'm like they told me my mama couldn't spell, I said I don't see my name in berlin. So now, as a 27 year old adult, when they'd be like oh, that's a unique spelling, I'd be like yep, it's german, it's your, like you know saying, and I'd be like yeah, you want to see it on the on the building.
Speaker 1:You want to see it and literally, and you get to show people. But if I never would have stuck it out, it would. It wouldn't have been that and I wouldn't have been able to stand it from the kids. Like I'm not no different from you, like, yeah, like you, my parents don't think, my parents didn't think I was gonna be here. That's even better. Like it's like a. It's like a double-edged sword.
Speaker 1:It's like I get to bring home he's accomplishing this to my mama and my daddy and it's like, check this out, I did this. Like you got a child that. You got two kids that's done, graduated college. You got. You got a child that's done, bought the on house. You got a child that's done, bought two, three cars and you know my they go brag my daddy. You're gonna be proud and do it, my mom bragging, but my mama knows, like you talk about this, talk about that. Like you know, bitch, talk about this, go, go, go, run that.
Speaker 1:So like it feels good bringing stuff back to my mama bed the same time for me, it's like you think I was gonna be this neither. Like you think you think that the little girl you raised was gonna turn out and For for people to be like the top of the top, they be like and it I don't know. Like you said, it's just like. It's like you still get busy, though Like it only goes so much. You're like well, I don't never want to turn into get so busy and get so burnt out that when I meet that little girl.
Speaker 1:I'm not the person that she was supposed to meet because I'm like you. You talking about the no button. I'm at the fuck no button. Like it's almost offensive. Like brah, is you serious? Like you, help me. Like, help me. Like what are you talking about? But I don't know what's that next one?
Speaker 2:Um, the importance settings, the, the importance of setting priorities when life gets busy. No, sorry way, we trick, we skip, we skip. Um, it says explore common triggers that lead to busy periods and lives.
Speaker 1:We did, we don't, we don't share strategy for recognizing when life Be on a shared strategy for recognizing when life becomes too busy.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, to be honest, my, my strategies have been Just setting boundaries, knowing when. Because, okay, I always ask people stuff like this and I'm always saying you, let's, let's just use us as example, your phone as example. As soon as your phone Get close to going to die, what's the first thing you do? Put it on the charger. But you, you run and get that charge. You don't wait, you don't be like, oh, my phone's got, my phone's gonna die away. No, yeah, you know your phone's gonna die. You, hurrying up and give me the charger, I mean you, you hear you, you tell you, tell them, people aim I.
Speaker 1:I want you to thank you. My phone.
Speaker 2:I don't want you to think I'm right so If you are dead, that, in that interest of doing something that's so important to you, that small like a phone, use that as yourself as soon as. As soon as you start feeling like you're out of it, you kind of got go recharge, don't wait, so you don't have boundaries in order to do that. You know, you know, only you can tell when you're at, when you oh, and things are just you, yeah. So go recharge, yeah, it's simple. Set boundaries. No, no, don't let nobody cross them, nobody, even my kids. Like I told you, I do, I do soft parenting. I don't, I'm not gonna lie. I do it because, probably because my mama was she, she, she didn't do something at all. She said I don't, she do it with my kids, but she don't do it. She didn't do it with me, which is crazy, but um, even with them. Like I learned, if I don't set boundaries with ivory She'll keep going over and I don't want.
Speaker 1:I don't sometimes watch because she's too, but like Avery is one of the the most out, yeah so spoken, freaking, articulate every night. The project I know so it's I, I know my oh, mother, for two seconds. It was about the second, third time. You know how she up there kicking it.
Speaker 2:She is bad, bad, but even with her, like I still said, down like. I love her and I love that. I love that she always want to be on. Love me.
Speaker 2:But sometimes I am a little bit too busy and I become overwhelmed and I just said down, just like hey, I already know when I'm on my computer, don't come touch mommy, go play, yeah. So it just be like I'm. That's I'm learning to just when I am busy. I know I do not understand. Hey, I'm at capacity. It's time to shut the computer off. It's time to to dial it back. Let's watch TV and do something that I want to do, like I know how to Decompress, I know what. What it give me back to, to being full instead of let's go get you charged.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:What about you. So what you do, I think, like you said it, like I I can't really say seven boundaries Like it sucks to say the service that you got to learn. It's like a certain part of your career when you learn, like if I don't Work as hard as I did, it's still gonna be okay. I teach it now like when I was in NTC and like they was joking, but it was. It was a captain and like a I hire up and the captain was like it's easier to replace a soldier than equipment and this True like a soldier, like we. Just we just recently had a SEO pass from from our people over Memorial Day. She got shot by a straight bullet and Literally like we talking to, like the BC, and you know people hurt, like the people by you know whatever. And the BC made a comment and it didn't even fit, kind of fit where we were going, that we was talking about past struggles and stuff that's that's done, happened or whatever. And he was like I can't bring you know Sergeant, for Vila died and I can't bring her back and it's kind of like that's true. He's like we can't live in the past. I can only memorialize her and keep it pushing. But it's like you just think about like man, like if I was to die tomorrow, the army will be able to have another song more tomorrow It'll be another one. Like it may not be able to do the same things I'm able to do, but as far as feeling the body, it'll be another person with the same Responsibilities as you doing. So I could say. As far as Strategies, I just started accomplishing stuff that I want to do, like if I come home and the calls ain't folded, the car and watch. I ain't cook, I spent time, I watched the show I want to watch. I Do wanna sit down and doing a podcast. I do it. I'll make myself do it because it like to say it helps me recharge and like nothing beat reading the box.
Speaker 1:Just going back to what helped me when I first started, cuz it's like when I first came into the service, like I say, nobody expected me to last this long and included myself and I didn't expect to be here. So I just remember praying and being like you know what, how, the father, I trust you and I'm a girl as far as wherever you take me, and then now you look up you like me, I didn't. I didn't live the career and these nine years I don't been in the service. So I just really like I just do stuff. I don't know. I just feel like I do stuff. I try to do stuff where I know I perform my best thing.
Speaker 1:So this, exercising, reading the Bible, reading the books, spending time with my spouse, spending time, friend, doing stuff you want to do, that's all I know. It like kind of like you said, getting in my mind. That's me getting pulled back up to the source. I'm going to read my Bible. They're like you said, you think you got it bad, you think you don't, and then it just reset like, oh, okay, I'm tripping, I'm overwhelmed, I miss, I go and work out. It's not as bad as I thought. I go, speak you and you realize, like, like you said, when your phone is low, it still has the capabilities to do everything that it did when it was charged, but the light might be dimmer, the you know it's able to do what it did, but not at the same volume, not at the same right, I'm not how I feel like, okay, let me go hook up so I can do it at the same volume, that I need to Perform these things because, being tired or not, you so just gonna need help.
Speaker 1:Your job Still got to get done. You know, like your kids still gotta your kids still gotta be, like your spouse still goes for Intention. You taught your cost to go need gas. You you be tired. You gonna go to sleep. Your tank Don't eat. You wake up in the morning 10 minutes late for work. That tank still. Only you didn't get to carry that guitar. So I don't know. I feel like Mrs Must be home. I've done. I feel like that's, that's my reset. I'm just I have to get back to what I know, what to do, like I have to start accomplishing stuff.
Speaker 2:So I guess that can still go into the setting priorities when life getting busy.
Speaker 1:Yeah what would like to be and not to lie to him like work is Because balancing balancing priorities right, that's the perfect, that's the preferred balancing priorities when life get busy and it's more heavy on work. I took the scale back because I know that I'm replaceable here. I'm not like even though you can say like yo, your person can go find somebody else's daughter Like you're not as replaceable here as you are there. So don't give so much time to the service.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm doing Japan like, Like helping people. I love it, it's my passion. But I also love home too. So you know, I'm gonna make that a priority over anything. That's why I said, like always make sure before I leave work that I'm I'm in the great spirits. I come back home and I know that home is priority. Yes, oh, that's always gonna be first. I don't care if I'm half empty. I'm recharging on my way to go pick up April from school, because you know, this is this is where, this is where it all Starts for me even to go out to help those folks. So if this isn't okay over here before I even get to work, I like you're gonna say I'm no good to nobody. So that's why I'm setting priorities, importance of setting the priority of, like you know, just making sure I'm never too busy for my husband and my kids. That's always first. Everything can be done later on when it comes. It's nothing for me to clear, especially like, let Bill say he won't, he won't time, alright, everything must stop.
Speaker 1:Talking about stop, yeah, what, stop? What baby I need?
Speaker 2:we can't Anything, I'll be there, you work, yeah, I'm even early as day, night, yeah, like it is what it is Because, at the end of the day, like I said, in order for me to come back to to y'all happy Things got to be happy at home. I gotta charge.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I gotta, this does not charge. I'm giving you you are taking from me, even if I feel good, but it's, it's more, it's more taken like you're taking from me, like I'm not. It feel good. I hope the subject idea that's posted, but this is taken. I'm literally, I'm fully charged here. It's like a. It's like when you got like a bad connection with a broken Charger cord or whatever. It's like the phone is charging slow, so if you are playing on your phone or you gotta talk it's not gonna charge as the same if it was, if you left that phone alone.
Speaker 1:Now I'm talking at work. They're not leaving you alone. When I get hooked up at home, what I say plug in a capable charger for a better result. This is my capable charger like what gives me the the best result to be my best self. Like I'm sitting it and it's crazy, like you could be at work. I'm, I'm, I'm freaking.
Speaker 1:You could be at work 12, 14 hours, you with your, your significant other, for 30 minutes and you just feel like this big weight is lifted. You in the car. I can speak for me. Like in the car, listening to the bottle, and it feels like Like you forget, you that 30 minutes before work is gonna make it. Help me go through that whole 14 hours, right? So you like you say I give y'all that I need to be able to go home and I think that's what's so. What's so crazy about like, like deployments and rotation, and I got one coming up and you just look like for for nine months Six to nine months that you, that recharge is not there in the capacity that you needed. So now all you do, god, is that slow charge. You know you finna get work way more than you're able to get the charge right, oh, I like that you are leaving I.
Speaker 2:Be, back, I know, but still I get it. I understand because, like, I be feeling happy and see what I do for real.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I understand making sure, like putting them and having them around is so important because for real, like you're right, I can't. The best, the best me is is being a happy yeah, starts. You know you ain't going. You, you, you, I, I become very irrational when things aren't happy. Number six I do and I and I, I'm not, I'm not able to give. So what is some personal tips and strategies for managing the balance, balance, balancing various responsibilities. So like, how do you balance?
Speaker 1:I would say the tip that I would use do some self reflection and figure out what your balance is. And I could just say, like I learned my balance. Like you know, you go through life either you learn the lesson or you continue to repeat the lesson. And I felt like I have learned my balance, like I know that I need to fast. I know and, like you say, like you brought up other childhood traumas, I know that I need to accomplish things. Like I can't not. Oh, you're doing good. Like you're doing so much better than like that, don't do nothing. You know it's like I need to accomplish.
Speaker 1:I need to see past and I don't like to say I don't like saying goals because I feel like goals are like it's an end. But I like check. You know checkpoints being done, like the house is getting better when we get the water heat to fix, the house is coming along when we get the walls painted and stuff like that. Like doing stuff that I want to do or that I need to do. Accomplishing those checkpoints to a bigger scheme is like all right, like, but I don't know. You got to learn your balance. Everybody balanced over different.
Speaker 1:Some people balance, maybe more with, because because them doing more work equals a promotion. You know, you just got to find your balance. But, like I said, I can say for me is definitely hitting my checkpoints If I look up in the coin. Wise, I haven't worked out, I haven't. I'm not. I'm just not my best stuff. I haven't did Bible study. I'm not, I'm not my best stuff. What about you?
Speaker 2:My personal, my personal like shit, like something that that I do to balance is I do I go to church. That's something for me to like and I be telling you like if I miss it, if I miss a week of church, I'd be like, oh, the week is going to be so bad and often that's just gonna set me off, because it really truly does give me a chance to reset, not only just with, like I said, at home as well, but also just with my spiritual, my spiritual journey, like I always tell people, like I'm always on this spiritual journey of learning God more and having a better relationship with him. So I feel like when I go to church, that's me having a stronger relationship and giving him time, and I feel like when I miss that, for me it just throws me off.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm saying also just having everything in order at home and making sure home is happy as well, like for me, that's. This is where I come to decompress, like anybody. Everybody knows that I'm a very social person but, like, I stay in the house a lot. So if this ain't a happy place for me to be, then you're going to say things when I, when I go outside, to be able to pour into others will be completely awesome. That's how I keep my balance as well, like, and it can be my upgrading anything in my house, like for real, I start getting electric, everything. I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2:And it's just been little things like my electric socks and pepper shakers. Yeah, that stuff makes me happy. You know what I'm saying? That's that's in my home, so it's just like things like that me me making sure my house is somewhere where I love to be in cause this is my safe space. So, again, that's why I always make sure like that's, that's just something I love to do for me and also just feed my spiritual hunger as well, cause I feel like that's, that's something that I've been yearning for. So that's something that's like helping me learn.
Speaker 1:It's like you be hungry and it's not. It's like it's not food. You'll be so enough, and I just go read my Bible, listen to my body, and I just feel so much better. That's what it be.
Speaker 2:I didn't think that nobody else felt like that with me, like about that, like I was selling deals. I was like he was like well, you know, you don't always have to go to church. I was like I don't think it's so much.
Speaker 1:I was like telling somebody that like the club like you ain't gotta always go to the club, I know, but this is what makes that's just like mine. It's a thousand people in there, but this is my one on one time with you know what I'm saying, like it's like it's fellow, it's fellow.
Speaker 1:It was literally what it is. It's fellowship, like, yes, I do the same thing when I read my Bible, I do the same thing when I do my Bible study, but it says something. When you're able to be mixed with other people, it's fellowship. Like yeah, I can listen to my favorite song, get my hair from and be jammed. I listen to my favorite song but you go to the club. You're your first on it, but it's just infectious. It's no different.
Speaker 2:Like people like oh, you go to church and it's co-tension.
Speaker 1:You can say that for another stuff you ain't gotta be outside every day. You in the coat, but you know it, you do it. You in the coat, you in the coat, no, no, that's my club. You in the coat, like, but you like, no, it ain't that serious, like it's the same thing. Like this it makes me feel good that I shared this same type of belief system with somebody else. So it's you hook up, like I say, it's fellowship.
Speaker 2:It's a simple mistake and then I only that, like I said, it's just the time. Yeah, of course, throughout the week I'm so busy to where it's like, oh, I'm talking to God and it's a split second of going to sleep, but I'm so tired, so the conversation gotta be quick. Yeah, I don't have to. To wrap it up fast, I write God, look, you can have a long conversation while I'm sitting in a church listening to you know the word yeah, I'm gonna give you your time. Yeah, that's really what it be and that's why I be telling, that's why I be trying to explain to him, because he's like, well, you know, church is wherever you are. No, sometimes I need I, and that's why I always tell him because I'm, of course, your need, your spiritual journey and yo yo, yo. The way you feel, like how you decompress, is not completely always be different. I love you. We two separate people, so you know what I'm saying, but for me it's like I be needing to give God that time. I want that.
Speaker 1:You feel good, Like are you paying ties, the church doing whatever with your money? I'm not giving this money to the church. Like God said, give it storehouse his period. You don't know what Walmart doing with your money, or Amazon you don't say nothing. You pay it with your money, Living his best life, man up there doing you don't know who he's sleeping with, what he doing, how he doing it. He spending your money. So I don't know. I don't care, it's the obedience of it. Like you don't know what the city doing with your time.
Speaker 2:I was just about to say that, but I don't even know. Y'all pay for these phones with no problem. And these motherfucking phones be just as much as the first down payment on a car. Y'all be okay. You said 2000 for a pink phone, All right.
Speaker 1:It's an iPhone though. It got it. Man, if it can't come get and I can't say that because some phones, some people do know how to get money off their phones, but the ones who know how to get money off their phones, they phone ain't no too bad. Exactly, that's just facts. You ain't making no money off that phone. So what like, how do you, how do you do the concept of saying no when it's necessary?
Speaker 2:Oh well, you know I'm a people pleaser, so I do. I'm kidding Earlier Just a lot of times I can't say now I'm learning to, I'm learning to be because I because I see how much that can put on me when I don't like I'm real big on if you call me and tell me okay, tucci, I need you to come down to my house Saturday because I need you to do me, do something for me. No, damn well, saturday is every game Plus on top of that I have something else to do and for me I don't. I didn't used to know how to be like, well, not, friend, I can't do it.
Speaker 2:This time I just try to make time, like even if I was stressing myself out because, again, like I said, I'm real big on stretching myself out to where I can't do it no more, and at the end of the day I be feeling so drained and empty, and then it'd be like my husband get the tail end of it. So I'm now I'm mad, now I'm moot because I'm irritated, I am tired, I ain't slept, so it's just like. Now I've learned that, oh, you say no, it's okay. And if they don't respect it?
Speaker 2:Oh well, I mean, it's like the people that you need anyway, exactly, I don't need to be around them, and I'm learning that too. Like, if you can take my note, because I'm going to take yours, and I take it's many times think that I've had things or I've invited people places or not even just that, like I've asked somebody to do something for me and they said no and I was perfectly okay with it, I wasn't mad about it, I didn't go. Oh, victoria is such a such a just told me no and I just, you know, I'm saying, I think I'm saying I understand you can't do it, but it's like with me. I start seeing that like if I didn't start saying no, people would always want to get something from me or want me to do something for them, or come somewhere and do something and I'm so busy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but check it out, you end up busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now I'm so busy I don't even know how I'm going, like I told people around the time when I had first had ivory, I was going to kids birthday parties, like back, back, back, back, back Again I was just telling you earlier to two fucking birthdays in one day, separate ties of the town, and I'm speeding, trying to get to you. I'm saying then I just thought to myself like look at what I'm doing to myself, like you know what I'm saying, I'm really stressed out on making sure I get to these places on time and then, when it was time for these same motherfuckers to show up for me, oh I can't make it, sis, and I was like, oh you, guys, you know it's like you get don't even, don't even get me wrong and sometimes it don't be like that.
Speaker 1:But I can speak for me and transparency you. When you now I'm used to saying no you kind of get offended when somebody else know how to exercise. They know you like yes.
Speaker 2:And it don't even be offended. I just be like You're not supposed to say that, like I used to be envious that you can say no.
Speaker 1:You know, like oh, wow, what. Like I didn't even know that that was possible. Like I know it's in the human vocabulary.
Speaker 2:I see it's like you're like what you say, no, you say that's crazy because I would have never said that you so. But for me, like it really, for me, like it was, like more so, like envious, like damn. She told me no, the fact that she said that I never say no shit like that, how she doing like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Like teach me how to do it. We get a class of teaching people how to say no and now and now, and the people don't get the message free. No, no, the wrong, the wrong version.
Speaker 2:But I have learned that like with no has brought so much more peace. No, I know my limits, understanding that. You know, making myself so busy to where I can't even function, I can't even sit down. I'm forgetting again, like I said many, many times, like me not knowing how to say no, I will put myself last and if I keep them as a last, y'all ain't gonna have nobody to even say yes to. So at this point it was just, like you know, I needed.
Speaker 2:I understood what not saying no was doing to me and I never want to be, I never want to feel like that again. So I start motherfucking saying no because it's enough. No, can you know? I know and I never tell her no. Oh, when I tell her no, she being awful and I just be like letting her know like this, sometimes I'll be so busy and you be making me. My mama got a real bad on like telling people I can take them somewhere, no, and she'll be like but I already talked to him and you can already call back and tell him I said no.
Speaker 1:My mom, my teacher, was used to be like that. But it is money, like let me get. No, I know you got it, it's still no, I got it.
Speaker 2:But it ain't for you. You know, yes, and I took it on. I was like, okay, now I'm telling you, I'll be telling my mom the same thing. So like it's just like, it's just understanding when you need to say no and and, but I mean you just don't want to make it hard on yourself because, because you start seeing motherfuckers are going to make it hard on yourself for you, I'm not going to, I'm not going to add no extra stress. Baby, I'm already trying to live for a long time. I want to see my great kids have great kids. So it's just like I can't.
Speaker 2:Y'all ain't finished, just me out. Am I ready to look like Trump? Y'all get? Oh, my God, this is funny. Okay, okay, before real. No, no, no is necessary very much in learning when you need to say and knowing how to say it, because I feel like that'd be the problem. I feel like people really don't know how, so people just come off like no, people don't like rejection, but I don't. I take rejection, rejection, very well, so you need to learn how to take. That's all I can say.
Speaker 1:I can say that, and I kind of said it earlier I don't think that it's too, it's too far. I think that the most, the most important person I had to learn to say no to was myself, and I had to learn to say no to you. Do not have to do this to please another person.
Speaker 1:No no, you do not have to do this to be worthy of whatever. No, you do not have to do this. So, like when I learned to understand to say no to myself, like I don't, I don't like you, like I don't want to talk to you, it's okay to do that, yeah or no. I don't want to go and hang out and do that or no. I really don't want to go here and be chilling and be surrounded by a bunch of weed.
Speaker 2:You know, say like no, that's not me.
Speaker 1:Like yes, I genuinely like this person there. Cool, I know I don't want to sit up and do that. So when I learned to say no to myself and actually understand like you have the right to tell you know, and it's just like anything else, before I'm able to tell somebody else, no, I have to learn no. I have to learn like no. Getting your money down to zero dollars, you don't have to be know, you don't have to be broke when you get to zero. You could be broken not having you. Hey, you, you get to your 500 $200. You broke. So say no, learn to say no. And the second part of it is, I think, with people I never I could say for the ones closest to me, I never really learned how to say no. It's kind of been like like a fuck, no, lucky, and I hate that. Like it's skip no, like it's like no. Like you start realizing, like you have said, you didn't say no to yourself so much and you allowed them, because then people, people always be like oh, people don't do what you allow, but they say it on the negative aspect. But it's the same way when you get in stuff from me, like don't think that I'm just being not evil, you can over. Like you, you're doing what I allow. So when I learned to be like nah, nah, I wasn't cutting it because I was so used to you call as me.
Speaker 1:I remember being in the car this chick I talked to and somebody called and was like can I get $500? And she looked like. She said I can't even fathom in my mind to ask nobody for $500. And I hear you talk about that. People ask you for this crazy amount of money. But for her to hear it was like what the hell? And they have to learn to be a, because, just like you, I'm ready to give myself, and I rather give myself and my time than to give my money, because nine times out of 10, that's stressed in anyway. So when I learned to be like no, the know is already been brewing up inside this but man, fuck, no. And if you feel some type of way, fuck you too. Like I'm not doing it. No, I'm not coming. If I show up, I want to. Like I owe you a lick or nothing. So I learned that. Especially, I learned that it was necessary to say no because I had to learn to be selfish.
Speaker 1:And it's like you don't understand the say no and be selfish. The little bit of. Like the analogy I always use you every if you pack, you coming up a rock, you coming up a mountain, and every time somebody passed you, hey, I dropped my shoe, can I get your shoe here? Now you want you up? And hey, can I get your sight. And then by time you get halfway to the mind, you butt, ass naked and everybody else is finishing.
Speaker 1:And I had to learn, like, in order for you to help people the way that you think you have a people now, you have to learn to say no and be selfish. Be selfish because you got it in order to get it, in order to give it an abundance, like you want to, you got to get it, but people don't take notes, or something like fuck, no, I mean it with everything in me. Like, are you serious? Like no, like I'm no, I'm not able to come, no, I'm not able to do it. And like you say if people get offended I know you got $20. You know I got $20. I know I got $20. And guess who against you? Fuck, somebody else going to be calling, I'm going to need $20 next week and you going to be coming back around next week trying to hit up for another $20. So I had to.
Speaker 1:Once I had to say learn to say no to myself. And I had to learn to be like. I said like, like you say, no, it's necessary, like it's necessary Like you, not you saying no for right now, to make it better later. And once stuff started happening, I never forget like one of my people had asked me for $75 and I usually give it to him and I was like no. And we went to the grocery store and our grocery bill was $75 and I said like if I wouldn't get a $75 it would have been gone, but that would have been more than $75. So it was like no, and that's good, so I'm ready. Like you said earlier, I ain't even let him finish. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, mama, let me have $100. Hell, no, mama, no, no. I'll be telling her so quick I love her, I do, yeah, I know what he's. If I, if I.
Speaker 1:If I, if I, so she'll tell me like she'd be like baby, go buy me a drink. No, no, she'd be like give me a drink. You ain't asking me, you telling me to do something. So, as a child, I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna be up in the coffin while I'm going over there to get you this day drink.
Speaker 2:No, for real. So what is some healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with the busy life?
Speaker 1:We kind of talked about balancing, prioritizing, understanding that everything is not a priority and things can wait. Like I feel, like you said, when you get so busy and it get hectic, you kind of forget that wait, you're in it, so it's spinning all around you and you kind of forget, like wait, I did this already. I done been here before. You know what. I need to step back and accomplish this and this will move over If you sit up there and be, like I already said, you procrastinate.
Speaker 1:My daddy is such a procrastinator that it's hard for me to procrastinate because it's like, if it seemed like I'm procrastinating, I don't want to do it, and it's more than not being procrastinated. I'm either scared or I don't want to do it. Yet, like people like you need to go to school, you need to go to school, come on, because you're going to take these classes for me. If you're not taking these classes for me, don't tell me to go to school. You want me to go to school. But then when I got in school, like I say, 3.85 GPA, I'm 80 and 90, all of these classes, and it's like you learn that Do it on your time and don't get me wrong, like like she just retired. The other day I had posted on her page. She was one of the people where I wasn't procrastinating. I was scared. She was like do the Prodigy program? I'm not good enough for that.
Speaker 2:No, like I done, did this, done that there, but I ain't good enough for that.
Speaker 1:And it was one of those things where, like, go do it.
Speaker 1:And then I excelled at it when I got there and it's all not like I say it's just prioritizing, understanding that it looks like it's a the infield, look like a mountain, because you got it zoomed in Like you laser focus, you like man, this thing big, I can't even see past it, step back, step back, step back, take a breath and you realize, like, if I get my homework done, I'm not going, I'm not stressing about that, I get this school done, it's going to open up this job opportunity, it's going to open up this promotion, it's going to do this.
Speaker 1:So I just prioritizing it's not a priority Prioritizing the stuff that's going to make you better. Do what you want to do, prioritize what you need to do. And, on the flip side of your balancing scale, prioritize what you want to do and I feel like your life will be in balance, because what you need to do is not always what you want to do. I need to get up and go to work. I need to get up and work out. I don't always want to do that, but hey, I need to go out and have a day night with the Mrs. I need to go out and spend time up every time I come over your crib.
Speaker 1:We're kicking it to three, four parking in the morning, but I need it. You know what I'm saying. We need that. So it's like balance what you want to do and what you need to do and do the whole. But you need to do what you want to do and do those things, and not to the test. It's your life balance itself out. What about you?
Speaker 2:See what me is. Just, I'm just going to go into like all of it. So for me it's just like the different things I do is the whole stepping back thing. That's one big thing. I start learning like I'd be so overwhelmed because I'm overthinking most of the things. Yes, like I'd be so overwhelmed because I'd be like, oh, because I am so busy, and I just be like, oh, I need to do this and this and this, because if I don't, by time I'm I'm trying to do this Everything at school. Or you know, ray shooting me a text saying he needs to be picked up from work. So it's like I was telling him, I was like us being down the one car is going to have me so busy to where I'm exhausted. Just learning to like know that I don't have to cram everything in and I can spread it out over the.
Speaker 2:The week is just one thing I do as well in the whole stepping back. Just you know, seeing what's important, doing what I, what needs to be done ASAP, and then just being like, okay, the weekend it's more smoother, I just do it then and weekend. So that's, that's one big thing I do. And then, like I'm also like real big on self care. Like I said, I feel like I should do it once a week because I am so busy of doing something every day, all day, I'm busy moving around or, like you know, someone need me, which is ivory. I'm always have her, so she's like always needed something from me and that's why I, like I'm telling you I'm so big on self care.
Speaker 2:It can be just the smallest thing. I need something for me throughout the whole week. I don't care how big or small it is, it just need to be something for me. So, rather, it's going to church Sunday without the kids and my mama have them and it's just me being able to, you know, share that moment with the Lord. Or it's getting that massage, because I be telling the deal all the time. He really do need to have. Give me a massage once a week. I just personally feel like that's why I go take the best nap ever. I be in there and sleep. They be waking me up like, ma'am, can you turn over? No, okay, just redo this. Yeah, I ain't flipping over.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, just so, like I just be trying to make sure, like you know what I'm saying, I take care of me at least once a week so I can, you know, be whole, even even though, like, sometimes by Sunday I be feeling like I'd be dragging like a robot time. But I definitely, just like I said, I just always make sure like I get sit down and I'm big on calendars. Now, I always make sure I have a calendar. If it's something that I know needs to be done, like school wise, by this date, I make sure, like I at least have two to three days to do it, because I'm a big progress. Yeah, not a while. Or like, if it's something that I know is coming up and you know like, okay, avery has a project done due on the 15th.
Speaker 2:We did it Wednesday last week. Well, last week, as soon as they landed home, because I'm like I'm just not going to have time or I'm probably going to forget. You know what I'm saying. I'm probably just a lot is time management. So I try to do that and try to make sure I stick to it as much as I can. And, girl, I have multiple calendars. I ain't going to lie, I got one on my desk. I got one hanging up in the house. I got a little small, mini one that I keep in my purse and it's literally just. It's not even a calendar, it's just like a little notebook of the things that I know for a fact need to be done today.
Speaker 1:So I always make sure I write stuff down because I like again, like I tell you, if it's not on the calendar it's not getting done and I feel like that's a part of my cheering and like understanding what, what, what like self care is and how to actually get stuff accomplished, because I ain't go. A lot like young Victoria was like you don't need to write, like you keep it in your mind and you feel like, oh, if I keep it in my head, like I'm a superhero, like motherfucker, you stupid, like, but you don't realize it, like, and so I'm the same way, like, right now I'm looking at a calendar, I keep calendar on the phone, calendar on the refrigerator and, like you say, reminders like school. I'm not remembering, mind you, my school is in East Coast, so it's the hour time difference. Why am I steady? I'm going to tell myself every Thursday you got seminar and I had two seminars back to back, one at seven, one at eight. So in Texas is six in seven. Who?
Speaker 2:why am I remembering that? But every time they remind me to go out.
Speaker 1:Class starts in 10 minutes. I ain't oh yeah, it is Thursday, you know. So I'm on the same way and, like you say, as far as self care, like I think, like you say it's important, it's not, it ain't even nowhere right. Like you need self care, it's like the phone can tell you it's time to update a, it's an update coming to your phone at this time, as long as you got the space and stuff, for it's going to download, the update going to download. So I felt like, like you said, just self care, doing stuff to take care of yourself, and I don't know, like I feel like the gym does that, I feel like cooking does that for me.
Speaker 1:And like I see the podcast like stuff like this, like I love it and you want to. You not able to do it like you want to, but when you do, it always feels good. Get in my toes, done Like small, you know, like small stuff shopping, yeah, buying, buying, freaking, merch, spending some time with the family like self care and some effort. I feel like that's what sometimes people get wrong about self care. Like it's not always you being by yourself. Like if I need to go see my family, especially coming from somebody who been away for eight, almost nine years, I need that recharge to see my family. Like it's normal, for you might randomly miss a family member that you ain't thought about, and just for me to be able to be so close and be like, hey, I'm gonna stop by your house today.
Speaker 1:Like that's self care. It does something for me. But I am, I am interacting with another person. But yeah, I think self care is important. Like, regardless of how, how much you think you do for other people. Like you go and burn out if you do not take care of yourself. And I always go back to the, to the airplane, before you put somebody else with their mask. Put your mask on, because if not, you're going to be passed out and they can be passed out. You got able to deal with yourself and take care of yourself, right.
Speaker 2:So there's not really no questions related to managing a busy life. I guess, like my tips and advice would be, again, like I said, everybody needs to learn time management. I know, like you know, I feel like that should be taught in high school, because you really don't yes, you really don't know how to manage time. Because, to be honest, like graduating high school, I was horrible at managing time. Me and Faith John. We were partying until like six o'clock in the morning. I had to be to work by seven. I'm getting off. We started all over again.
Speaker 2:So it was just like I didn't understand time management until I had kids. And it was just, like you know, in order for me to be the best person I could be for them and also just be the best person I could be Period, I'm a very enjoyable person. I need to learn how, when I'm busy, how to be like okay, I can tackle this because I'm real big at if I, if I'm overwhelmed, I get defeated and that's yeah. Here comes the procrastination, because I'm finished Now, I'm overwhelmed and I need some time.
Speaker 1:That's why I always be like I need to take a nap.
Speaker 2:No, I don't need to take an nap. I literally probably sit in the bed and start scrolling on my phone, because now I feel defeated.
Speaker 1:I don't want to yeah, I'm sandwiched.
Speaker 2:So it's just like mine is just always time management making sure you know what needs to be done and getting it done on time and giving yourself time to get it done and then knowing like, okay, I'm too busy, I need to take this step back. So for me it's just like always just making sure like time management is such a big thing, you don't think it's so big until later on and you're old and now you need naps, Because I'll be needing naps, oh man.
Speaker 1:Like why did we not like taking naps as kids like naps. You said it.
Speaker 2:I hate it taking a nap.
Speaker 1:My grandad would be like taking a nap Boy like you said you could have all these things to do and you'd be like I'm going to take a 30 minute nap and not a long go off. You'd be like roll over, not for real Snap. Yeah, like I'm not like naps is life. Naps is the part of being a productive adult, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:That's how I'm going to work. That worked for real. I feel like we'll have so much better people to deal with. People won't be so upset no, not for real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm like in the servers now. They used to be just like physical fitness training and naps, call holistic health and fitness and it's like if you work more than whatever thing, you're supposed to be allowed a 30 minute, but just like anything, stuff be good on paper, and then you get a human error, like I ain't going to take a nap, that's your business. You needed a nap, you just wasn't able to take it. Let's just take a nap, like okay, right, but I would say the tips, like I would say, do stuff you. You kind of know, don't nobody know. I'm gonna say that, cuz you'll be like don't nobody know your body better than you or know you better than you, but some people do.
Speaker 1:When you not Pay attention to yourself and focus in on yourself, listen to the people who do know, like how you look, like this, you got, like that, and. But when you do learn yourself, just listen to yourself. Like listen to yourself and I'm not necessarily just saying like, because sometimes you're mad, your mind Don't want to quit and your brain to bear to keep going, but just listen to your body, listen to when you know, like you know what I said. Crack to just to the warning signs. Like you know what the clothes been sitting there a few days and I would have been a Did you know what? I didn't get the grade that I would did on that assignment cuz I rested. Just Learn what you are said. Like you say, set boundaries and Prior and priorities and standards for yourself, for you and know when you fall in, but not below them.
Speaker 1:Like I know, like we can never get on here and just be like girl I'm really feeling it and but we need to do episode and we get a pair and just we ain't doing that. Like, regardless me feeling it or not, like we're gonna get a pair and put I bet foot forward and give a good episode. So you know, like everything you said. Time management I need to put a list. Time management for Oritizing. You know, learning, learning yourself, self-reflection and, like I say, stuff about life really bounces itself out like Looks daunting when you try to take on too much. It's a 24-hour day and the days go by so quick again, the duds go by slow and this and that, but you learn to be like I control this minute.
Speaker 1:I, no matter where you at, like can nobody take away how, even how you look at it like, oh well, I got to stand up in the McDonald's window, okay, cool, but you could stand up in your McDonald's window or working or whatever you got to do. A Learn the line. You, whatever you want to do, learn words Every time you go on bluffs, break, learn as many words and spell them to yourself like it's so many times where, if you really Prioritize what you want to do, your brain makes, makes a way to do it that you wouldn't even think of, like you'll start. Most I'm asking what I'd even thinking about it, like, all right, I mean I do need to do this. All right, yeah, I do need to do that. So like I say that it doesn't be the tips that I give.
Speaker 2:So the next one is the wrapping up in key takeaways. I don't know how you want to do that.
Speaker 1:But you got, you started off.
Speaker 2:So I mean, what I'll take away from this is because I know that like I'm still gonna do it, I'm still gonna burn myself out, I'm gonna lie yeah, I always do it, but I'm so happy like I have somebody like right, because he's definitely always the person like you're doing too much, you're becoming somebody you don't want to be. I think you need to take like a couple of days. Take, take a day. He's real big on take a day. What does that mean? Take a day? That's not. I can't do that. I Hate that.
Speaker 2:I hate we be like take a day. Take a day that I wouldn't fresh used to say it. I should be like what does that mean? Take a day. Do you not know that? These kids don't stop every school? Ain't gonna understand that his mama need to take a day. It's not a real thing, but I do. I'm learning to be appreciative that. He is teaching me to like for real, when I'm in his own, and he always be like you forget about yourself, I'd like to get it by myself. Oh, I ain't got my hair done in a month, like you'll see it, but like I'll wear a ponytail or I'll do something quick or I like I have like a top knot bun and that'll be literally me Find not not taking care of myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because.
Speaker 2:I'm not worried and I'm in his own because I'm too busy. He'll be like you need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:He'd be like take a day, take a day. What does the take a day mean? Like I used to be so upset about that. But I do say, like you know you need those type of people around you. People know we know you've worked out, because sometimes we don't see it like we're all we in this trends and it's just going and we just Going in. So I would say that is another big part of it as well. But just wrapping it all up, is you really need to learn self-care, understanding yourself, know your limits, knowing boundaries, setting them and making sure you stand on those? Yeah, I mean how they know. Um, I know life be like.
Speaker 1:Like, whether you wanted to or not, life is gone. Life, yes.
Speaker 2:I was just about to say that, whether you tired, sleepy or with full of energy is still gonna continue. So, um, I always want to be my best for folks and I tell people that always make sure you your best self, rather people paying attention or not.
Speaker 1:So I Be your bed. I always said, like you say yeah, um, and, of course, like with technology and all these different social media outlets and stuff, like you find stuff More and this is one of, like, my favorite means like being yourself and giving a hundred percent looks different every day. Then it got like the little stick figure, like jumping, then it got it like in the under the cover and all of that, and I think that that'll be the key takeaway. Like you wrapped up everything like balance, priority, um, learning like how to say no and just knowing that, like they take care of yourself, mm-hmm. Because life, regardless if you control it or not, like it's still gonna life, like life is not life. So why not learn how? And it's not like it's not even controlling, it is learning how to manage Mm-hmm, how to be your best self while life is going on. Because life is the roller coaster that you don't you know, you don't know when it's gonna stop, just like any other roller coaster. You get on and this is to you own for the duration of the ride. It could be for that two years, it could be 65 years, how you, how you go, how you go manage it. So that'll be. Like you said everything that would definitely be the Key takeaways.
Speaker 1:I was supposed to do this at the beginning of the episode but we ended up being busy, so I kind of spoke about it and during this episode and like I say, we had a soldier who died from a, from a straight bullet, and she was 22 years old and like what's so messed up about it? It's kind of like you, we're, we working on fireman, we're like if somebody down deployment, you cry it hurt, whatever, but it's almost expected. It's kind of like if somebody down the streets, you know that they do she like, it's like expected before a soldier. Like I always Think about my soldiers past like suicide or whatever, because I think since I've been at four cabalos, it's them been like five or six soldiers done past Suicide, getting killed, you know, spouses killing or whatever, and then soldier wasn't standing around the fight, wasn't doing whatever, like this happened to be leaving the club and got shot because females want to argue, and it's like you just shooting one bullet Took that soldier life and I and it's messed up because I think about like I'm hot headed, you didn't. It got a lot hot temper, been shot at, been in fights, you know, and it's just like man, like that, that's all the dog, 22 years old, and the club that she got killed, that Before I left out for training I was at that club and I and this is why I tell it, like when I was at that club, like I speak to him or nothing like help him with things, like we soldiers we see each other but we don't you know whatever.
Speaker 1:So like I happen to see this, I happen to see the soldier there chilling one, dancing one don't too much, there's children and the person out, the guy who was driving, end up leaving out and the chick we was where it was still in there. Like I walk out with him, like where you getting in the car, you tell her come on. I go back in the club and get the chick and we walking out, a guy in the white shirt Bump into her. Mind you, I just happen to turn around because you walking out with somebody you know.
Speaker 1:So I turn around and the guy bumper, and now what? And you know, like she, just, you know, step back and just like look. And I was like hey, like excuse me, she's trying to get through. And the guy, look, it was like what are you security? So, mind you, you know people silly. So you, and sometimes, like you feel like stuff I can speak for myself, like stuff is happening so blatantly that like trigger your bad habit, you feel like you get it tested. So you know, like he was like what are you security? And I'm like, like they got. So the chick was like man, it's time to go do this trick or whatever. So the guy talk, talking, and at this point I'm like right, you like you know, he said I'm like I'll forgive you some home training we walking. He like yeah, yeah, blah, blah, from that situation he go took I made it to the car, I came in, he made it to his truck and he, reaching the back, he pulled his gun and he just standing there with his pistol and, of course, like I got my gun, the person I was with got a gun.
Speaker 1:But I'm just like that incident Spark from nothing. The whole time. We in the club, we chilling I'm talking to people like people chilling and just that small incident and I was like at first I was telling my old lady like hey, I want to check this spot out, like it'll be cool, it's R&B night, they doing new line dancing. And when that incident happened I was like you know, like you know, I ain't doing it no more. And they kind of mess me up. When that soldier died at that same spot, one cuz, like I said, I seen her and like me, ban me. You know shit that we do. It's like that. One incident I ain't going back to. I'm chilling, I'm good on that, but people went in stuff like that, they not. That incident don't get to happen for you to go on and do that.
Speaker 1:Like we grew up watching people fight bullets and people. So it's like that. Don't. I don't want to sit around and watch it. I'm not finished it like I'm leaving somebody get the argument of somebody, bad, stupid, like it's either. You ain't trying to harm me, I do not know getting out of here. So Definitely, like RRP to Sergeant for Vila. Like you know, my heart and stuff go out to a family. Like I say, it always mess me up with soldiers. It's like it's sad when so just died and come back like I always cry, but when so just died, it's like your parents didn't send you here for that, like you, you end up dying in your. You came out to protect Civilians in the same, the same civilians you came to protect. That's the reason you lose your life. So, oh no, like I say like RRP to song for Vila.
Speaker 1:I think I'm a memorial is coming up this weekend. It's gonna be Las Vegas, but Definitely, like I want to give a moment of silence to her and yeah, like I say, like you know, same thing, we go back to it. Like life will get busy and being in the series I do give credit to that it a it'll like jump me into reality to realize and like it It'll never be worth it not to go spend time with your family or not to Prioritize yourself, because you get to see it like this soldier died. This soldier died on Thursday Usually something happy. You do a recall and the guy and one of the high rest was like oh, let people enjoy day for day this soldier dead.
Speaker 1:Like what you like, what do you mean? Like literally right, it's gonna lie and that you know I'm saying so. Like I say, man, like take, take care of yourself, prioritize yourself. And you know, like that guy said, in the field is easier to place a person than it is a piece of equipment. So, regardless of how Unvaluable you think you are or how Miniscule it is to do something that you want to do, that's all you need. Like people could be, like robots are gonna take our job and it you can't. No matter how much artificial intelligence they have out there, it can't take real human interaction. You can tell the AI to be like. Tell me about how you feel about this, about that. It only could give you what it can draw from the internet of you know what it could think of. A robot can collapse if it don't do this, and a human able to keep going like you, never. I feel like it's people we don't understand, like how powerful we are and how much we mean. That's what you got to. Like. You got to take care of yourself and, like I said, I'm grateful that I am able to be a soldier and I'm able to see like but many people go, keep going, keep going. You don't get. You might get a like they. They laugh in the hood. You get a t-shirt but you might get a like. We get in the bracelet like usually you see him for deployments, people that get lost. You get a bracelet with this soldier name on it and it's just like Now you, you something that people talk about over child or a sad thing, and it's like man. That's what you got, family and it, and it's messed up. I'll share on my page and it was like it was a. It was like, why did you join the army post? And it was like she joined the army To get away from you know the life that she had. And then you just sit there and be like dang one bullet One, one bullet one time, one night are going out, and that that baby lost her life, 22 years old. You know I'm saying so. I can say that it definitely mess me up. So I say RIP to her family, to my listeners and viewers.
Speaker 1:Like, take care of yourself. Like, probably prioritize yourself because, like we said, like get busy and it's gonna life and you gonna have a period. Never let the big busy periods get you out of focus. To this is like a roller coaster it's gonna be busy and then it's the temple out. Is the busy, then it's the temple out. So Prioritize yourself, take, take care of yourself. You are important and you're irreplaceable at the end of the day, you know. So that's all I'm gonna say on that. But you want to wrap us up.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, y'all. So thank y'all for listening to overthinking, understanding, understanding, overthinking. Y'all. Please don't, don't, don't, please, don't, please, don't. Oh my gosh. But yes y'all. If y'all would love to come back and listen to me more, y'all, make sure y'all subscribe, make sure y'all share the podcast as well, so y'all friends and their friends can listen and tune in with the conversation. Do we have anything else that's coming up?
Speaker 1:We go, we go, try to do better every time, every time I be like I want to do my episodes and want to do this and want to do that. It don't happen that way, but we do got a merch show People always be asking me for, like the clothes and where can they get my? Even my co-host, like I send a shirt a direct size. They took me two years and I started pop out with new shirts and people be like give me shirt and it's easy for me Because this is like this is my baby, like I created this so I go on there or the shirt, just like you. You go in the wrong. It's like I want to order me a shirt, but we got merch coming. We got fall months coming, like I got a video. If you go to our Facebook Instagram page over thinking, understanding podcast, it's abbreviated for the Instagram page, for the Facebook page is not abbreviated and I'm modeling like some other Fall merch.
Speaker 1:I'm getting ready. I'm getting ready to go out and look for models, just to take pictures. I'll fit semester merge, but we got we got orange coming up and green. We got orange and green coming up for Halloween. We got brown and the dark browns and blacks and Arbons and burgundy is coming up for the for the fall. And then, of course, we got the blacks and Pantsuits and everything coming up for the winners. So we definitely got merch coming. I'm getting ready to be riding around with it. I'm gonna be slinging it like crack, that's right. Pushing it like the dope, dope.
Speaker 1:Not that's it, but I'm getting ready to I'm getting ready to be doing it my co-host of house and merch, so she wrapped us up as Always. Thank you for tuning in to over thing understanding podcast and to next time go out there and be genuine and be good to people at the end of the pop.