Transcript of: 

MY PARALLEL LIFE 

SEASON 1, EPISODE 4 

Daniel and the Very Special Episode 

By Jasmine Brown and Vera Greentea 

THEME MUSIC: PATAGONIA NIGHTS BY ABIRD 

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

SOUNDS OF CLASSROOMS LETTING OUT 

DANIEL: Okay, I’m just going to leave my article right here on Mr. Gordon’s table, and no one’s here anyway, I can just go-- 

DOOR OPENS 

KATIE: Hey, Daniel! So I hope it’s cool-I actually started writing something. DANIEL: You… you mean for the newspaper? Are you part of the newspaper? 

KATIE: Yeah, well, the graffiti thing was boring and A Tale of Two Cities was boring. I mean, not boring boring. Like I could see why Mr. Gordon wants us to read it. It’s quotable and stuff and I know we’re supposed read older things so we understand references in movies but like it’s just so long. And reading... I used to love reading. I was one of those nerdy second grade girls with her copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This is supposed to be the fun part of school, right? But nobody… I mean, nobody but you actually reads the books anymore. So I thought- not book reviews, really, but like interviewing students and teachers about their favorite books and like, what is the difference between fun reading and school reading and why is there a difference… and oh, no, your face! You hate it! It’s dumb, right? I know you hate reviews. 

DANIEL: I never said-

KATIE: Just… never mind. I don’t have to do it. 

DANIEL: NO! It’s a great idea, Katie. I-I was just...I-I was surprised. I didn’t know you were even interested in this. Listen, I have to head out early but you should totally keep working on this and tell Jorge I wrote down some more specific directions for him, OK? I left a note on his seat. 

PORTER: You’re really gonna bail again? 

SOUND OF SOMEONE GETTING OUT OF A SEAT FROM THE BACK OF THE CLASSROOM 

PORTER: I mean, all week you’ve been doing that. 

DANIEL: How long have you been sitting there? Don’t you have like brothers to babysit or something? 

PORTER: First of all, don’t memorize facts about me. Second of all, I’m saying it seems a little shitty to keep abandoning your team. It’s bad leadership on your part. 

DANIEL: Last I checked, you weren’t part of this, Porter. So unless you have a pitch, you can keep your opinions to yourself. (DEEP BREATH) Anyway, Katie. like I was saying. I haven’t been feeling well, but I wrote SEVERAL FULL ARTICLES I left on Mr. Gordon’s desk. So if I have Porter’s EXPRESS PERMISSION, I’m leaving early but I totally trust you and Jorge to do great work today. 

DOOR CLOSES 

KATIE: (MUFFLED BEHIND DOOR) I like him. 

PORTER: (MUFFLED BEHIND DOOR) Oh shut up, Katie. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

TUNNEL NOISES (WHISPERING)

PATAGONIA NIGHTS PLAYS IN BACKGROUND 

DANIEL: Here’s an annoying thing about the tunnel-- is this on? Yeah, okay. So, for documentation purposes, here’s an objectively irritating thing about living two lives. The people on one side of the tunnel don’t remember or even know what I said to them on the other side of the tunnel. And even more annoying… I don’t know everything they told me in Doesn’t Suck, when I’m in Shitty Life. Like, I know I have plans with Lo on Friday because last night she reminded me… but I don’t know what we’re doing. She just seemed so excited… I couldn’t even tell her that, what? I forgot what we were doing? So, I have to play along sometimes… um...why is there a suit in my room…? MOM! 

MUSIC/WHISPERING FADES 

ELEANOR: (DISTANT) Yeah? I’m on my way out, honey, just told you that I had to be at the hospital early today! 

DANIEL: MOM! MOM! 

ELEANOR: (COMING OVER) What? Why are you shouting? 

DANIEL: Why is there a suit on my bed? Where are we going? 

ELEANOR: We are not going anywhere, Danny boy. This is for the dance that you’re going to with Lola on Friday. I just had it dry-cleaned for you. You two are going to look so cute together! Oh, that reminds me. I have to make sure your father is home in time to take pictures. He can’t sleep at his work apartment. Not on our baby’s big night! 

DANIEL: MY WHAT?! 

ELEANOR: Oh, come on. Abby let me fuss over her Homecoming Dance. Oh, I wish she was here to see you. Maybe I can come in a little late. You and Lola. It’s so sweet. 

DANIEL: Oh, god… 

ELEANOR: You’re gonna love it, Danny. Years from now you’re going to look back at these pictures and just… trust me. You only get so many of these nights, you know. 

DANIEL: Look, I don’t… whatever this is, let’s start with, do not make a big deal over it. Lola and I hang out all the time. 

ELEANOR: Mhm. You are not hiding anything from me. I knew you and Lola were eventually going to fall for each other. You two and all your little projects! She’s such a bright girl and so pretty! And you, you’re so handsome too. And those curls… remind me of your dad when we first met… I am sure Lola cannot get enough of the Jones curls. 

DANIEL: (PANICKING) Oh, ew, ugh oh no! Please no. 

ELEANOR: What, I can’t fawn over my baby? 

DANIEL: Mom… I’m not into Lola. She’s my best friend. 

ELEANOR: Oh. Are you sure? I got the idea-- 

DANIEL: Yes, yes I’m sure. I don’t know how we even… I don’t even want to go to the dance. I never wanted to go to a dance. And I’m sure Lola doesn’t.  

ELEANOR: Well, one of you wants to go to this dance, otherwise you wouldn’t be going. And why wouldn’t you? You’re almost 16 and those curls… 

DANIEL: I swear to god I’m cutting my hair. 

ELEANOR: OK. OK. But… Danny. Seriously. If you’re not the one who wanted to go, then you’re going because she wants to. So, maybe you’re doing something nice for someone you love. That can be a good thing. 

DANIEL: Please stop saying love. 

ELEANOR: You are such a guy! Okay, someone you’ve cared about for many years. Look, I don’t know everything that goes on with you, but you agreed to go to this dance. And I have a sneaking suspicion that she wants to go, so whatever your relationship with her is, you’ll be letting her down if you don’t honor your commitment. 

DANIEL: Don’t say commitment, either, Mom! It’s Lola! 

ELEANOR: Even if this wasn’t your idea, it’s okay to make someone else happy sometimes. And who knows? You might end up having a good time. Now listen, I really have to go, especially if I’m coming in late tomorrow, but just think about it, OK? 

SOUNDS OF WALKING BRIEFLY BEFORE A STOP 

ELEANOR: Oh, and honey? Next time Lola comes over… leave the door open. 

DANIEL: MOM!!! 

ELEANOR: (SNICKERING) Ok, ok. 

SOUND OF DOOR CLOSING 

DANIEL Yeah, I’m...not staying here right now. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

DANIEL: Hey, I’m back in… well, I was calling this world Shitty Life but now I’m not so sure. So, as you can hear… and I say that as like, a rhetorical you, I have no idea who I would play this for at this point… anyway my other life … the one I was calling Doesn’t Suck is all… messed up right now. The Lola I know would never want to go to a Homecoming Dance. She doesn’t even wear makeup or like… girl clothes. And she hates like... everyone. And even if she did... it wouldn’t be on a date with me. I know that sounds naive. My mom’s not the first person to--but seriously it’s not like that with us. I’m not going to say she’s like a sister to me, because I don’t want to talk in cliches, but there’s no... yearning here. There’s just not. At least not on my part. I know what it feels like to have a crush. And I know what Lo acts like when she has a crush. At least I think I do. That leaves three possible scenarios. 1) this dance thing is some bright idea Lo had that has nothing to do with romance and I would understand that if I was living in the world full time and remembered all of the conversations I’d had. 2) Doppelganger Me is much more different than regular me than I thought, which doesn’t really make sense because previously it seemed like the only difference between the two worlds was that my mom hadn’t left and I genuinely don’t see how it would make me suddenly have the hots for Lola. 3) I don’t understand Lola nearly as much as I thought I did, she does like me and Doppelganger Me agreed to go out with her because he’s exactly like me and we’re both awkward dumbasses. Well. Time to investigate. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

IPHONE RINGING/BEING PICKED UP 

LOLA: Oh good. You didn’t die. You’re just not calling me because you’re a jerk. 

DANIEL: I’ve been busy, Lo. Remember, I started a paper completely from scratch in a new school with no friends, barely any resources and half of my family only accessible by plane. 

LOLA: And only if there was someone you could call with the experience to help with your project. 

DANIEL: I’m not pawning my work off on you, Lo. That’s not me. You know that. Or are you so used to doing group projects with the Dennis’ of the world that you already forgot what work ethic looks like on a man. 

LOLA: ... I’m skipping over you calling yourself a man because I forgot I told you about Dennis! Danny, I have so many stories! It’s like being a naturalist. The lunk in his natural environment. 

DANIEL: So… a good thing? 

LOLA: Don’t be stupid. It’s twice the work! I’m going crazy! 

DANIEL: Of course, I know! I get it. I’m sorry. But hey, at least you have Friday to look forward to. 

LOLA: What the hell is Friday? Oh, shoot...are you visiting? Is this the, “I finally got a ride and movie night’s back, baby” call? 

DANIEL: No… sorry. I-I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. My dad is totally dead on Fridays. I’m hoping we can do a day trip on a Sunday at some point but .. I don’t know. He’s not so keen. But yeah, no the Friday thing… I saw on Paulson twitter. There’s a dance. 

LOLA: And you thought of me? 

DANIEL: N-I don’t know. I bet it would be interesting to see what Dennis looks like in a suit. You know, for science. 

LOLA: Comedy isn’t your thing, Danny. 

DANIEL: Okay, okay. But seriously, you’re not going? I’m sure you could get uh, some of the paper to go as a group or something? 

LOLA: Are you high? Am-am I going to have to call your dad and tell him you do drugs now? 

DANIEL: I’m just feeling nostalgic. I don’t think this school even has dances. Maybe a senior prom. Maybe. Paulson has a great activities budget. Sorry for projecting. I know you hate dances. 

LOLA: I don’t hate dances. What made you think of that? 

DANIEL: I mean… you never…? 

LOLA: You are such a boy! You really expect me to just waltz into the dance alone? Dances are a couple thing. Who am I supposed to go with? Julia’s alt-girl gang and their designer dates? Charity and Arnold and their ever evolving PDA? If someone wanted to... take me to something like that, for real I-I would... Someone who I really... but there’s no one around here like that, so. No dance. 

DANIEL: ... right. Uh, got it. Hey, Lo. I just heard my dad come in… I’ve got to-- 

IPHONE HANGING UP

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

DANIEL: So, I’ve been thinking about this dance! Ugh. It’s today - er, tonight. Like, -like an hour from now and… I can’t get it out of my mind that Doppelganger me is going with Lola? As dates? That’s got to be some mistake. Like, maybe I shouldn’t worry about it, it’s not even me. But I thought it was me. Is it me? What am I even doing here? It really… it really shouldn’t bother me, right? But a version of me is... doing things I just...wouldn’t do. Even if Lola… which I am not convinced she does… I don’t feel like that with her. And Other Daniel does...I could just leave him to it, I guess. It just… it’s weird. And I don’t want to feel... weird when I go there. That’s supposed to be the one place where things are… good. But it doesn’t matter. I can’t even go and make Doppelganger Me more like…me. Friday nights are Dad and Son Bonding time, ™. So... I should stop obsessing. 

TYRONE: Hey, Daniel? You in there? 

DANIEL: Uh, yeah. You ready for movie night? 

TYRONE: That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. One of our patients needs an overnight nurse today, and it’s usually Hagerty's job, but he’s out with the flu, so I have to fill in. Will you be alright on your own? 

DANIEL: Oh. Um, yeah, I guess. 

TYRONE: I’ll make it up to you over the weekend. Maybe we can do a double feature tomorrow night, and I’ll buy you all the Twix you can handle. 

DANIEL: All the Twix? You will go broke. 

TYRONE: A chance I’m willing to take. Anyway, gotta run. Pizza money’s on the counter. Don’t go out! 

DOOR CLOSES 

DANIEL: Okay, now I have to find something to do tonight. Oh. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

MUTED MUSIC (SINMOJI BY ABIRD) AND TALKING 

DANIEL: (DEEP BREATH) S-so I’m here at the thing. The-the dance. Lola is dressed like a Disney princess. I don’t know if she saw me, maybe I can still escape this before things really get awkward.

TOILET FLUSHING 

DOOR OPENS, MUSIC BLASTS FOR A SECOND 

DENNIS: Heyyy, newspaper dude! There you are! 

DANIEL: W-were you looking for me, Dennis? 

DENNIS: (LOUDLY PEEING) Newspaper girl is asking everyone! I told her you’re probably trying to figure out how to shit in a suit. 

DANIEL: Awesome. 

DOOR OPENS, MUSIC BLASTS AS DANIEL ESCAPES THE BATHROOM 

LOLA: Daniel! 

DANIEL: Did you know that Dennis doesn’t know your name? 

LOLA: Did you know that Dennis doesn’t know anyone’s name? 

THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY 

MUSIC CHANGES TO DON’T STRAY BY THOSE MOCKINGBIRDS 

LOLA: No, but seriously. I bet he’s on drugs all the time. I feel sorry for him. All kids like that. Just throwing away their futures. 

DANIEL: Or he’s just stupid.

LOLA: Oh.. kay. 

DANIEL: Uh… yeah. Just saying that. 

LOLA: Yeah, no, I get it. 

AWKWARD PAUSE, DON’T STRAY PLAYING LOUDLY 

DANIEL: The music is so corny-- 

LOLA: Good song. 

DANIEL: Uhhh...sure. If you...if you like that kind of thing. 

LOLA: Do you maybe want some punch? I hear it’s spiked. 

DANIEL: Well, you wouldn’t want to throw away your future. 

AWKWARD LAUGHTER AGAIN, A LITTLE FORCED 

LOLA: Ha. Then, dancing? I think that’s our only other choice. 

DANIEL: It appears to be. (PAUSE) So, uh, nice dress. 

LOLA: Thanks. (PAUSE) You look… really good, Danny. This is a look for you. 

DANIEL: Uhhhhh. Thank you. 

LOLA: You can touch it. It’s not that expensive or anything. If that’s why you’re-you know-- 

DANIEL: No - s - no, no, no I, uh... 

LOLA: Cause you know. Slow dances. You’re supposed to touch my waist. 

DANIEL: Yeah. (PAUSE) Do you want… outside? I need… air.

 LOLA: Er, sure? Air is--- yeah.

SOUND OF MUSIC GETTING QUIETER AS THEY EXIT 

DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING 

DANIEL: The school looks… nice. In-in-interior Design Club did a great job. 

LOLA: Daniel...

DANIEL: You were right about Charity and Arnold. I tried to make small talk at the entrance and neither one could be bothered to come up for air. 

LOLA: Danny… 

DANIEL: No, I get it, I get it. They’re into each other. But I thought, Arnold at least, we were good friends. Now I wonder if I wasn’t stretching the reality of the relationship that could be better described as professional. 

LOLA: Is this really what you wanted to talk about? 

DANIEL: (SIGHS) Lo, I… 

LOLA: Yes? 

DANIEL: You know you’re…. my best friend. And you’re so great. 

LOLA: Shit. Yeah. 

DANIEL: I mean, you’re the best and most brilliant person I know. But-- 

LOLA: I shouldn’t have asked you to this dance. 

DANIEL; You ask- yes, you asked. And I said yes. Because you’re great, okay? 

LOLA: Look, maybe don’t. I-I get it. We can just be what we are. 

DANIEL: Would, uh, would that be okay?

LOLA: God, of course! Duh. YES. Uh, e-everything’s cool. Cool, cool, cool. 

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it. (PAUSE) Lo...i-it’s not because...you’re pretty, ok. Just so we’re clear. 

LOLA: Oh my god. Let’s stop this. I know I’m pretty. 

DANIEL: (AWKWARD LAUGH) I don’t know. I-that’s like a girl concern, right? 

LOLA: You sound so stupid sometimes. 

DANIEL: But I don’t do drugs. 

LOLA: Look, just… let’s skip this and see that superhero movie you were interested in? The one with the man and a... spider? 

DANIEL: … Spiderman? I don’t think that’s...that’s not currently in theaters but uh, nice try. If you… I mean, we can stay here if you want but if you want to bail, we could do the diner. Maybe get some fries. I’m buying. 

LOLA: Damn right you’re buying. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

SOUNDS OF NIGHT TRAFFIC 

BEEP ON PHONE 

DANIEL: We just hung out, Lo… well, me and alternate you just hung out… I’ll listen to your voicemail later. I can’t have that conversation twice in a day. And... one from my dad, probably checking that I haven’t choked on pizza. 

TYRONE: (Voicemail) Are you sleeping, Daniel? Wake up! There’s been an earthquake in Ecuador and I can’t reach your Mom. I can’t leave my post, but you have to keep calling her and trying to get her. Call me back when you get this message.

DANIEL: Oh my god... 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

MAIN THEME/PATAGONIA NIGHTS PLAYS 

TIM: My Parallel Life is written and produced by Vera Greentea and Jasmine Brown. The audio for this podcast is recorded and mixed by Mike Umile. Music is created and performed by aBIRD. My Parallel Life stars LC Witter, Julian Thomas, Shiree Nicholas Christopher, Steph Marie Alvarez, Louis Walker, Jayme Face, Timothy Rodriguez, Rajiv Miller, Siera Louis Gene and Jasmine Brown. Website and credits are by Timothy Rodriguez. 

To learn more about My Parallel Life and the fantastic crew of people who make it, visit our website: jumpycatstudios.com. If you’d like to help us spread the word, please give us a five star review and tell your friends to subscribe at any major podcast platform. This episode’s a wrap, see you in another dimension!