Transcript of: 

MY PARALLEL LIFE 

SEASON 1, EPISODE 7 

Daniel And Five Cheese Jorge 

By Jasmine Brown and Vera Greentea 

THEME MUSIC: PATAGONIA NIGHTS BY ABIRD 

RECORDER CLICKS ON 

DANIEL: Just a few minutes before Newspaper starts but I wanted to-- 

PHONE BUZZES 

DANIEL: Shi-h-hey, uh, Lola- I actually can’t talk-- 

LOLA: Yeah, you said that last time. Can you call me when you’re free? It’s been like, two weeks and I know you have a lot going on, but it would be really cool to be able to talk to you for more than five minutes... 

DANIEL: I know, Lo, I-I know it’s just...there was that scare with my mom and then Abby was here all weekend-- 

LOLA: No, Abby was here all weekend. I hung out with her and Lyle on Saturday. 

DANIEL: Oh, she didn’t say anything… I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come. I’m... honestly... I’m trying to do research for a project and it’s taking a lot of my time-- 

LOLA: For school? 

DANIEL: No. I mean, yes! Obviously. Ha! What else could it be for? 

LOLA: I don’t know, Danny, but if it’s something I can help with 

DANIEL: No, no, no I don’t need you! I mean, that came out weird. I just mean... I don’t need help with this right now. But uh, thanks for the offer. 

LOLA: (exhaling) I… ok. 

DANIEL: Lola, I will call you soon, I just need some space to get some stuff in order. And shit, newspaper is about to start and I haven’t gotten the task out for uh, Katie and Jorge. 

LOLA: I get it. Go then, do your thing. I have some uh...stuff on my mind. But i-it’s not a big deal. We’ll talk… eventually. 

IPHONE HANGING UP 

DANIEL: Shit. I just wanted to lay out some new facts about this inscrutable freakin’ tunnel and how apparently only I can see it and she had to call and now, urgghghh. Abby is right that I have to make right with Lola, but it’s so weird now that I found out in Doesn’t Suck world that she likes me. And I had to have that conversation with her and it was so awkward and now I have to do it again? I thought it was amazing that I could live the better version of my life, but now it looks like I’m living the same crappy life twice. What's the point of this weird interdimensional tunnel? Why is it here? Other than experiencing it, is there any other way I could research on this thing? 

DOOR OPENS 

MR. GORDON: Daniel? Oh good, I’m glad you’re already here. 

DANIEL: Hi, Mr. Gordon. 

MR. GORDON: First of all, I just wanted to tell you again what a great job you did on that homeless youth article. And the other two... nice job delegating those to Katie and Jorge. They turned in some solid work. I’m giving all three of you extra credit in class just based on what you’ve done so far. It’s only fair, right? You’re writing more here than I think anyone has in my Tale of Two Cities unit for the past two years. This paper can’t just be three articles, though. I’ll see the final draft of the first issue next week, right?

DANIEL: Uh, yes. That is… the plan. 

MR. GORDON: That’s great, Daniel. Unfortunately, there is another issue I wanted to bring up. I know things were... different at Paulson and it’s been an... adjustment. Personally, I didn’t think Principal Lang was going to go for anything that would involve giving students free range of a classroom after hours. But I do believe in what you’re doing and I’ve gone out on a limb because of that. 

DANIEL: What are you getting at, Mr. Gordon? 

MR. GORDON: The other students. Are they all participating? 

DANIEL: You mean Porter? Yeah, he’s um. He helps with the tech stuff. 

MR. GORDON: ... right. Just remember. I’m here to support you as best as I can on this. So you let me know if you find any elements uh, distracting. I’ll be right next door, grading. We’re all really impressed by everything you’ve accomplished so far. 

DOOR CLOSES AND THEN OPENS 

PORTER: Hey, weirdo. Where’s everyone else? 

DANIEL: Um, I don’t… 

SOUND OF PORTER SITTING DOWN IN THE BACK 

DANIEL: Still an active non-participant, huh? 

PORTER: Hm, same could be said of you. 

SOUND OF DOOR OPENING 

KATIE: Hey! Wow, Daniel, you actually made it! 

DANIEL: I’ve been here during the last several meetings, Katie. 

PORTER: Spoken like a true leader.

KATIE: Shhh. Porter. You know he has (WHISPERS) family problems. 

DANIEL: Jesus… anyway. We’re here. So before we start, I wanted to talk to everybody about our bigger goals and what we’re researching. 

KATIE: Oh yes. I’ve watched like seven movies on Sunday. (RIFLES THROUGH STACK OF PAPER) Here are all the reviews. 

DANIEL: Weren’t you doing… book reviews, Katie? 

KATIE: It’s a complicated project, Daniel. I don’t have time to explain. Let’s just let my work speak for itself. 

JORGE WALKS IN WITH A THUD 

JORGE: Daniel. (CRINKLES A BAG OF CHIPS AND THROWS IT OUT) 

DANIEL: Yes, yes, I’m here. It’s a big surprise. Anyway. I was talking about research for future articles. Katie’s looking into, uh, some multimedia sources. 

KATIE: My laptop broke so I had to hand write them. Sorry for some of the parts that are scribbled, it was dark in the theater. 

DANIEL: Ack! 

PORTER: I’ll fix her computer if you don’t make that sound again. 

DANIEL: Great. Thank you. Anyway. I’m looking into (SIGHS) some connection between those reports of doors and missing persons. I know it probably seems like a waste of my time to you guys but I need to see it through for a little bit longer. 

JORGE: I had thoughts about this, bro. 

DANIEL: (SURPRISED) Oh?

JORGE: Porter? Do you remember in seventh grade when that girl disappeared? 

PORTER: Tiffany Quen? I thought she was found in the back of some senior’s car, smoking. 

JORGE: No, not her. Rose Greene, I think? She was never found. She was uh, real quiet? I think there’s a connection. Of all the cases I’ve read about that fit your parameters, this was the closest one. She disappeared without a trace, they found her pink hat near the streets you were talking about before, Oxen Street, I think? Of course, the Portuguese doors you had me looking at in the beginning were interesting, but ultimately I felt Rose was a more pertinent lead for us to follow, in the interest of the paper’s focus on the school’s student body and on the gestalt of what I inferred your interest was. 

A STACK OF PAPERS HITS THE DESK 

JORGE BURPS 

DANIEL: WHAT?! 

KATIE: Oh, yeah, Rose, of course! She always had colored sharpies and she was going to do that mural for that wall? She never got to do it. That was sad. Hey, wait, didn’t you mention something about murals too, Daniel? Is that another connection? 

DANIEL: I… have no idea. 

JORGE: Yeah. Although Rose had never specifically created any illicit artwork, she was asked by the school administration to paint the side of the school. A work to celebrate diversity, as I understand. Check page 45 for my notes on that angle. Parameters were “missing kids” and crossed with “art”, she fits. 

DANIEL: WHAT?! 

KATIE: I used to have playdates with her sometimes, starting in like, 4th grademaybe? Her mom was nice. She might talk to us. If we’re like… sensitive. She’s probably still grieving. 

JORGE: I have Mrs. Lilah Greene’s address, phone number and email. It’s in the references section of my report. 

DANIEL: (RIFLING THROUGH THE WORK) Wow… this-this is really… well-done. Good job, Jorge. 

PORTER: Were there any previous doubts? 

DANIEL: No. I mean. Yes. But not because of you guys... honestly, I had doubts that anyone would be able to get anything substantial from the vague hunch I’d given you. I was… I was really stuck. So...thanks, Jorge. Really. 

PORTER: Nice save. 

DANIEL: Do you… did you reach out to set up an interview? 

JORGE: Nah, man. I was waiting for you. You’re the boss. 

DANIEL: I… well. Thanks. If it’s OK with you, I’d like to go, too. And um, probably Katie as well, since she has the connection. 

PORTER: Oh and I’m coming too. Someone has to make sure Daniel doesn’t do something weird and screw up all of your guys’ work. 

DANIEL: What a shock. So, um, anyway. I’ll reach out to her this week and see if we can coordinate a good time for everyone. This is… this is really good news, guys! 

KATIE: And my reviews are good too! 

DANIEL: Yes, yes, that is also incredible work. We have enough mov- er, um, book reviews for the next two semesters. Mr. Gordon will be very impressed by everyone’s dedication. He was just in here, letting me know that all three of us will be receiving extra credit in his English class. Er, uh, Porter, you would too, if you want to… um… yeah. So, anyway, we can actually end early if you guys want. I’m just going to look through this stuff and call Mrs. Greene. There’s not that much we can do until that’s taken care of. 

KATIE: Oh, sweet! I have like six more movies that I found links for! You guys wanna watch them with me? I think one of them has boobs. 

JORGE: Yeah. 

PORTER: Uh, Katie’s computer is broken, so maybe we go to yours, Jorge? 

JORGE: Cool. 

KATIE: Awesome! You’ll meet us when you’re done, Danny? I’ll text you the address? 

DANIEL: Oh, I’m invited… really? 

PORTER: She said so, didn’t she? Don’t -don’t make it weird. 

DANIEL: I’m not. I’ll… be there. Thanks! 

PEOPLE GETTING UP 

DOOR CLOSING 

SOUND OF PORTER’S VOICE BEHIND THE DOOR 

PORTER: Can we swing by and pick up Derek? He’s alone after school today. 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF 

IPHONE DIALING 

LILAH: (VOICEMAIL RECORDING) Hello, this is Lilah Greene and I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you. 

BEEP

DANIEL: H-hello, Mrs. Greene. My name is Daniel Jones and I’m a student at Paulson-- I mean at Easton High and we’re doing a tribute to students of the community. Students that we’ve lost, or passed on, I mean. For our newspaper. Uh, we’d like to come and ask you some questions and maybe get a profile of the kind of person Rose was. It will be very sensitive and respectful. It sounds like your daughter was an artist, so perhaps we can even get a drawing for the tribute. Call me back and maybe we can set up a time for an interview, or let me know if you need further details before you make a decision. Oh! And um, one of our staff members who would be working on this piece is Katie Chu, who remembers Rose and her time spent at your house with her fondly. Um, again, please call or text me back at this number to arrange an interview or let me know anything I can do to help make this happen in a more comfortable way. 

IPHONE HANGING UP 

RECORDER CLICK 

DANIEL: Hopefully that wasn’t too awkward. Should I call her back and redo it? No-no-no that would be extra.... I really hope this leads to something. I don’t know where else to go with this. I was starting to feel like I was hitting a brick wall. Nothing about this makes sense. I mean, there are some rules, I guess but it’s really hard to research something no one else can see. And I know that this Rose Greene thing probably has nothing to do with what’s happening to me. Jorge did a great job researching but he didn’t have all of the information because I can’t tell anyone all of the information because without more proof, I sound like a crackpot. 

BIG SIGH 

DANIEL: And now that the tunnel seems to be dilapidating, it seems like I won’t have that many more opportunities to use it. It’s getting harder to climb through it and get to either side. What if it collapses and that will be it? Do I look for another tunnel? Are there more? Or is this the one weird anomaly that I happened to have discovered and once it’s gone, it’s gone. And no one is the wiser, and I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if I had a moment of insanity. 

DANIEL BREATHES DEEPLY AND KNOCKS ON A DOOR 

SOUND OF DOOR OPENING 

KATIE: You made it! And still muttering into your hand. You’re very you, did you know that? Everyone is here and we started the movie but I can give you the gist really quickly. There’s this girl. And she has sisters. But that’s not important. And there’s this guy and he is very rude! And her sister… oh, I guess one of them is important...anyway, she likes his friend, but their mother is being really obnoxious about it. 

DANIEL: Are you… are you trying to describe Pride and Prejudice? KATIE: And Zombies! Everyone is also a trained assassin, I think. 

DANIEL: Eh, you know that the zombies are not in the book, right? For when you write your review, I mean. 

KATIE: Uh, yeah they are! I have the book. Oh my god, did you even read it, Daniel? 

DANIEL: I… I guess I read an earlier version. Let’s just… it’s fine. I get the picture. Um, I brought juice. It’s tangerine. 

KATIE: Oh! (GENUINELY CURIOUS) Why? 

DANIEL: Um, my parents always bring a bottle of wine to people’s houses, but… 

KATIE: Riiight. We already have “tangerine juice”, but thanks! 

DANIEL: What?? No, it’s uh… it’s actually tangerine juice! 

SOMEONE GETTING UP 

PORTER: That sounds disgusting. It’s all yours, man.

KATIE: So like, ok, check this out, Daniel. Watch this. They’re sword fighting, right? But he’s all “I want to marry you”. This thing has layers! Oh man, Daniel, what are you still standing around for? Get comfortable. 

DANIEL: Right. Where should I...uhhh… sit? 

PORTER: Don’t make this weird too. You can just sit next to me, man. I won’t infect you with like the stoner curse. Scooch over, Derek. 

DEREK: NO! I’m comfortable! 

PORTER: Derek, I swear to god. Your knee does not need to be digging into my back. You don’t have to be here. We can put you in the laundry room. 

DEREK: Like I care. Can I get more chips to take with me? 

PORTER: Move over! 

KATIE: Derek, this is our new friend, Daniel. Can you please make a space for him to sit? 

DANIEL: It’s fine, really. I’ll sit on this empty bean bag? 

DEREK: Ohhh. Well, if this is for Daniel, I’ll move. 

SOUND OF MICROWAVE BEEPING 

JORGE: (VOICE FROM ANOTHER ROOM) Hot Pockets ready. 

PORTER: Hit me with the Five Cheese, Jorge. 

LAUGHTER FROM THE WEEDS AND DEREK 

DANIEL: Uhhh? 

KATIE: Ohhh, sorry, Daniel. It’s um, hard to explain. Five Cheese Jorge! It’s like, a thing.

DANIEL: Oh. Sure. 

KATIE: Um, it’s like, he had the one cheese. 

DEREK: The cheddar! 

PORTER: It was parmesan, Derek. 

KATIE: It was some sort of hard cheese. 

PORTER: Yeah, parmesan. 

THE WEEDS AND DEREK LAUGH AGAIN 

DANIEL: This was a hot pocket? 

PORTER: Dude, keep up. The hot pockets are now. This is a story from a time long ago, when Jorge stuck cheeses into his favorite orifices. 

DANIEL: WHAT? 

JORGE: Science, man. 

THE WEEDS AND DEREK LAUGH AGAIN 

DANIEL: Did that… really happen? 

MORE LAUGHTER 

DANIEL: Riiight. I’m just gonna go… make myself a snack. Preferably dairy free. 

PORTER: (CALLING OUT) Make sure it goes with tangerine juice! 

MORE LAUGHTER 

RECORDER CLICKS OFF

SOUND OF PHONE RINGING 

LOLA: You’re actually calling me back? 

DANIEL: Oh, Lola! Don’t be like that. I said I would. 

LOLA: You have been saying a lot of things lately. 

DANIEL: Lola… listen, I’m sorry. The last few weeks… it’s been a strange period of transition. And… I… I should have been letting you in more. I wish your parents would get your car already. 

LOLA: Don’t blame this on my parents. We live in a connected society. You can communicate with me in a multitude of ways and you are the one choosing zero. I get that long distances can put pressure on a relationship, but if two months is all it takes to break ours… if you can just as easily make some other newspaper friends... 

DANIEL: No! I mean, okay, sure, I found some people that make time pass a bit more pleasantly… though it involves a lot more burping and er, grass than I would have expected. Not they’re not... well, they’re cool, actually. Just sometimes I’m sitting there and I’m like... who are these people? You know? 

LOLA: Well...yeah. That makes sense that you wouldn’t immediately connect to a crowd like that. Though, I’ve read that some users partake as more of a political/cultural statement, so maybe that’s where they’re coming from? Remember the anonymous rebuttal of our anti-drug assembly? 

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah, that’s pretty much what I said the first time we hung out. They looked at me like I had three heads. I swear, Lo. I don’t know how to be around normal people... eh... 

LOLA: Daniel the Hydra, son of a Hydra, grandson of an-- 

DANIEL: (LAUGHING) Echidna! 

BOTH LAUGHING AT THEIR EXTREMELY UNFUNNY INSIDE JOKE 

DANIEL: Oh, I miss you, Lo. 

LOLA: Well, you’ve been making me feel superfluous lately. I don’t have to call so often, if you’re too busy with your Cool Weeds. 

DANIEL: No, no, I’m glad you call. There will never be anyone who understands me the way you do. Who understands my erudite sense of humor or my intellectual references.

LOLA: Or your boneheaded attempts at an apology. 

DANIEL: Right. That too. 

LOLA: (A LITTLE MORE CHEERFULLY) Ugh, I guess I will forgive you. And maybe we can possibly plan a get-together next weekend-- 

SOUND OF CALL WAITING 

DANIEL: Oh, shit, it’s Lilah. 

LOLA: Who in the fuck is Lilah? Now that just sounds like a straight-up substitute for Lola-- 

DANIEL: I have to take this. Just wait, okay? 

LOLA: What-- 

PHONE CLICK AS DANIEL PICKS UP 

DANIEL: Hello, Mrs. Greene? 

SLOW STRAINS OF PATAGONIA NIGHTS PLAYS 

LILAH GREENE: Is this Daniel Jones? I’m calling about a message that was left on my voicemail. 

DANIEL: Yes! Yes, this is he. How are you, Mrs. Greene. Have you considered our proposal? 

LILAH GREENE: And you say that Katie will be there as well? I do miss that little chatterbox. She was such a good friend to my Rosebud. It would be a pleasure to host her and her newspaper friends. 

DANIEL: Absolutely she will be there. Uh, when would be a good time? 

LILAH GREENE: How about tomorrow around 5 o’clock? 

DANIEL: We’ll be there, Mrs. Greene. We look forward to speaking with you. 

SWITCHES PHONE BACK TO LOLA 

DANIEL: Hey, Lola? 

BUT THE PHONE CALL HAS DROPPED 

DANIEL: Oh. 

MAIN THEME/PATAGONIA NIGHTS PLAYS 

TIM: My Parallel Life is written and produced by Vera Greentea and Jasmine Brown. The audio for this podcast is recorded and mixed by Mike Umile. Music is created and performed by aBIRD. My Parallel Life stars LC Witter, Julian Thomas, Shiree Nicholas Christopher, Steph Marie Alvarez, Louis Walker, Jayme Face, Timothy Rodriguez, Rajiv Miller, Siera Louis Gene and Jasmine Brown. Website and credits are by Timothy Rodriguez. 

To learn more about My Parallel Life and the fantastic crew of people who make it, visit our website: jumpycatstudios.com. If you’d like to help us spread the word, please give us a five star review and tell your friends to subscribe at any major podcast platform. This episode’s a wrap, see you in another dimension!