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Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast
Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast
178. Thriving in a Busy Worklife
This final episode in our 5-part series on Managing a Continuous Workload revisits the theme of preventing burnout. Joined again by burnout exec coach Alexis Neighbour, she explains the 4 reasons why burnout is on the rise, namely a general rise in worries and anxieties fuelled by the pandemic, technology, societal pressures and environmental concerns.
Juggling work with caring commitments, health issues, attending appointments that are only scheduled in the 9-5 - it's the 'human' stuff that can all add up to create pressure moments that can take its toll (whilst trying to perform well in a role). We share real-life, practical tips for creating 'antidote' moments for ourselves and each other. Its reminding ourselves that our happiness, wellness and satisfaction is important - otherwise what is all the work for? We cant change the world, but we can change how we interact and impact the aspects of the world that we can influence.
A useful listen for those who are having a tricky time balancing pressures in and out of work, or wants to support someone who is.
You can connect with Alexis Neighbour via LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/alexis-neighbour-83b11830 or on email alexis@hygeiacoaching.com
Hot topic for you? Take a deeper dive in our related episodes:
Ep. 176 Protecting Yourself and Others Against Burnout (with Alexis Neighbour again)
Ep. 162 Owning Your Success Story
Ep. 139 Inner Wellness from an NLP Perspective (with guest Melanie Yea)
Ep. 133 Book Club: 4000 Weeks - A Wake-Up Call for Time Management
Secrets from a coach Thrive and maximise your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with Debbie Green of Wishfish and Laura Thompson-Staveley of phenomenal training. Debs, laura, you're all right, I am. I am doing well. I am loving having these little moments where you and I get our head together and focus on a topic and think things through, and it's generated quite a bit of momentum. Our focus this month, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely has. We are pushing the boundaries because we're going to be featured in Psychology's Magazine in April Law, so yeah, so look out for that. If you want to buy it off the shelf, you'll get a lovely picture of me and Laura in there. We very rarely plug anything, but we're so delighted that we got featured in that because we're big advocates of well-being, mind health, making sure you thrive, not just survive. So yeah, that's been really cool. It's a real high.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know it's very exciting. We seem to be hitting on quite a hot topic of our time, really, which is how do you pull out the bag, performing at work day in, day out, year in, year out, whilst all this other stuff is going on in life. And if these were easy times where everyone could just get away with copying and pasting what we did last year and go through the motions at work, then it might be easy to pull off. But actually what we're seeing is, at this point in our decade, most organisations are looking to do more with less, or there are resourcing issues, so team members are getting sort of having to pull out the bag, hire pressure workloads, or there's times of change and transformation, so there's not as much business as usual as there might have been before.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're in the health sector, commercial sector, property finance, hr, there just seems to be a lot of really heavy workloads that people are dealing with at the moment, which is why this focus for this five-part series has all been about managing a continuous workload. So we are so thrilled, aren't we Debs, to be joined back with our star guest of the month, the phenomenal Alexis Naeba, who just gave us such a real insight into how we can protect ourselves and others from burnout. So this season, focus has been all about how we either hold boundaries, how we renegotiate workload and how we might bring delegation. It's not just for managers, actually. It's like a mindset of how basically teamwork in action and this one Debs.
Speaker 2:So tell us a bit about this, what the focus is on this episode the focus is Well, obviously we did speak to like earlier in the series and as we were continuing to talk afterwards she mentioned a couple of things right near the end about why is everybody talking about burnout, and she sort of shared with us that there's four key things and we didn't have enough time to continue that conversation. I think we could have gone on for about two hours otherwise, and we're conscious that we want it to be 30 minutes, be able to tap into it. So what we did was we got her back and we asked her the question of why is this On the increase, why is this topic so relevant today and what's going on. So we got her back to talk to us through what are those four things that she's seeing and that we're seeing in the world that are having a massive impact on how we're feeling and our mind health. So should we listen in to what she had to say as our bonus around the four key things we have to be mindful of Everyone.
Speaker 2:When we listened to Lex a couple of weeks back, she gave us so much information about what overwhelm is, what burnout is, what stress is, how we can manage ourselves, how we can look out for others, and one of the things that we talked about right near the end is the topic of why is burnout on the increase? Why are we suddenly talking about that more and more and more and more? So we got Lex back because it was such an important question and we just wanted to give you a little bit of bonus material that you could think in. So we have Lex back. Hello, lex, hello, nice to see you again. So gone then, lex. Tell us, why is this topic becoming more and more prevalent in the world around us at the moment? What is going on that suddenly it's up there as something to watch out for?
Speaker 3:Okay, Well, I think that there are four main reasons. The first one is the pandemic, and you know, I kind of feel like I can't talk about this topic without mentioning it, because it's fundamentally changed the way we operate and the way we work and it's led to pressures in the workplace that is unprecedented in the way that the expectations and the pressures are. So I think that the biggest thing around the pandemic has been the change and shift in working from home, and what that's meant is there are much more blurred boundaries around when you're working, when you're not working. How work can seep into your home life, your home space. I know I've come across people who don't have a separate room that they can work from, so they're working from their kitchen table. So it really is kind of, you know, in their kids come home from school and they're walking in and they're going shut the call.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to call you know. So it's really. Yeah, you see that.
Speaker 3:It's that extra pressure on. So I think that's number one. Number two is technology. Yes, right, so we're in this world now where technology is just taken over, is everywhere.
Speaker 3:You can't get away from stuff, right? So you know, I know that if I now, since my situation and overcoming my burnout, I'm now really conscious about this and if I go away, I turn off my emails, I turn off my notifications. I'm very conscious of that. But there are people I know who, I see people walking around with three phones. I know how do they do that? I don't know.
Speaker 3:So how you can remember which phone is which. And then you've got I mean, I think about me, I'm sitting here talking to you. I've got my remarkable, I've got my Surface Pro, I've got a screen, I've got an iPad, I've got a phone. It's crazy. Yeah, it's all over. So what happens is that that kind of ability to switch off, switch off your brain and regenerate yourselves and have that downtime where you're just not thinking about work, about all of the stuff that's going on. Even if it's not work, it could be social. So you click on Facebook and you see something on Facebook that winds you up or upsets you. So many people get their news from, you know, facebook or TikTok now. So you know, is that, is that technology world that we're living in now that has led to increased burnout? Definitely.
Speaker 2:Do you agree with that? Oh, my God, completely. Because you know, I know on my phone I think it's somewhere. I know, on calls like this and when we're working with others, I always keep it somewhere and then I go what have I done with my phone? It's like you've lost your right hand because you just suddenly go panic. You know everything is on there. But I've now got, you know, put the app on where it tells you how long you spend on screen. And I think that has been a real eye opener. And I'm so old, lex, that I was born before you know, I was in the era before we had mobile phones, so going to bed and just reading a book was like. But now people take their phones to bed with them to read. I'm going you never switch off the first thing they do when they wake up in the morning, look at your phone, so that's a problem.
Speaker 3:And then leading into that is societal pressures expectations of what you should be earning, what your life should look like, where you should be going on holiday, how you should be parenting your children, what car you should drive, what you should be buying your children for their birthdays, or you know, all of these things that is now plastered all over the place. Yeah, you can't get away from it. You can't get away from it. So this pressure builds, this overwhelm builds, because you feel that there's an expectation societally of how you should live your life and what you should be doing. And it's really difficult. Sometimes it takes quite a strong person, a resilient person, to say, well, actually, I know, but I don't care about that.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, and as you're saying going away, you're going away and not doing anything or not on your phone. I'm always amazed that you know people go on holiday or they go to a restaurant and you turn around and there's everyone's on their phone around the table and it does like my head in. And that restaurant I think it's in London, isn't it? Or somewhere where they take your phone off of you and put it. Oh my God, that is such talk. It's so important to get off of technology and you see it all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3:You know something last year I was on holiday. I'll just quickly tell you a story. I was on holiday with my kid. I've got no phones at the table with my kid. My kids are 16 and 19, right, so they don't really always listen to me. We were on holiday and we were sitting in a restaurant and no phones and on the way out a man came over to me and he said I just need to tell you how wonderful it is to see a family sitting and having a meal together without looking at their phones. And it really had an impact on me because I was like wow, thank you. But also after I thought how sad that somebody actually has to say that that is, I will. We're not the norm, because you know, obviously he's noticed that we're all sitting there eating dinner and talking and not on our technology that we stood out as usual, unusual.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, they're weird, they're talking to each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're actually talking to each other. How weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know the societal pressure thing is massive. I was watching a program on ITV I think it was Oliver Olivia Atwood's program about the price of perfection. Looking at the industry, oh my God. And you know, when you sit there and you go, oh my goodness, that how, why, as 16, and the pressure that that's on and what I want to look like and, as you said, what's perfection. And I really enjoyed the way she questions it and just looks at it. But I just sat there and it was like, oh my word, it was quite scary in a way that that has become our idea of what great looks like, whereas actually we're great as we are right. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:But anyway, yeah, so go on then. What's the fourth one? The fourth one is environmental factors. So you know the financial crisis, the environment, people worrying about the environment and what it means, the political landscape. You know there's so much going on in the world and because of it links back to the access that we have to be able to see images of these things, to be able to constantly have a feed into us about all of these negative events that are happening in the world. It's very difficult to switch off from that as well. So those environmental factors that are happening but okay that we could argue that they've always been environmental factors, but never quite in our homes and available to us in a way.
Speaker 3:Literally at the touch of a button. At the touch of a button. So that worry and that you know that thinking of doom and gloom that feeds into everything else, I believe has contributed to why now burnout is more prevalent than ever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I suppose more and more people are talking about it as well. You know some people. I heard someone say the other day in a workshop that was running on wellbeing and mind health was around oh well, it's just that generation, you know, no one can cope. It wasn't like that in my day and I go yeah, but you had other pressures that you still had to deal with and even though that was might be 40 years ago, you're still. You know, people would still be suffering from not being well or having to struggle or feeling burnt out. I said, but it just wasn't public, it wasn't widely known, it was just that. But there were still people it back way back then. So has it changed? Or, as you said, has the technology now changed it, so it's more awareness to it? Or you know what? It's always been there, right?
Speaker 3:I think it's always been there. People have always. But people in the past. We go back 60 years. People did live a more simple life. It was more straightforward, and I think back even when I was a teenager. If I had an argument with friend at school, I'd come home and I wouldn't see that friend until the next day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was now.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't have to worry about then posting something on Snapchat about me there was a baby in me, or everyone getting on a group chat and talking about it. Okay, I might phone my best friend and talk on the phone. So I think that life has just got more complicated. There are more facets to life now. That is very much driven by technology in the world that we live in and we have to learn to cope with that. And I do think that, as societal changes have come in place, we are going to find a way to deal with these things. But for some, that resilience is a muscle that we have to learn and develop of. I'm gonna let that wash over me. That's quite a difficult thing to do.
Speaker 3:It is let's say, for example, you get an email through from your boss at nine o'clock at night that says this piece of work that you've just handed in or you've just, is rubbish. Actually, it's not very good. You need to start getting. You're gonna go to bed, you're gonna worry about it that night? Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And that's not gonna help you. Yeah, you're not gonna sleep.
Speaker 3:No, and you're gonna wake up the next morning and you're gonna be worried about what's gonna happen when you go into work, and so on and so on. So I think that I just think that, yes, these issues were still there, but we have made it more complicated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if we think back to or if we think now that yes, it is there and that's what we're dealing with now and how we deal with it, is gonna help us. You mentioned about some good boundaries we could put in around it. You said around. One of the ones you do is there's no phone around a table when you're having dinner. What other boundaries can people start to put it back in and to make it a better life for themselves? What would you suggest?
Speaker 3:I've got a really simple one. Go on. I've got my iPhone. I've got a setting where it goes on to sleep mode at 10 o'clock at night Right, and it doesn't turn back on until eight in the morning.
Speaker 1:So you can do it at the time you want.
Speaker 3:So if anything comes through after 10 o'clock or before eight o'clock, I don't see it, you don't see it. That's a good idea. My phone doesn't ring, you can put people, you can have an emergency bypass. So if there's someone like, for example, my mom and dad, and my emergency bypass, they want to call me, it would come through. But I don't see, I don't get any notifications, nothing, so nothing happens. So that has really helped me. The other thing so we can manage technology rather than it manage us.
Speaker 2:It's actually right.
Speaker 3:I don't have my phone next to my bed. I used to have it by charging, by my bedside table. Now it's charging. Sometimes I charge it in my room but over on the other side, but sometimes I leave it downstairs and just things like you know, manage. So, yeah, I think what you just said is really true Managing the technology instead of it, managing you.
Speaker 3:So choosing what. Are you okay with what you're not? Is there a certain time, like for me? I know that by five o'clock every day, I'm switched off. Yeah, good, that's it. I'm switched off, Doesn't matter what else I'm doing. Or if I've got a meeting that has to be till six o'clock, then I will account for it. So I'll start later that day. But I have a very fixed boundary around what days I work, what don't, what times I work, and I know, for example, Friday is my non-negotiable day If I go to Pilates in the morning and maybe you have a coffee in the afternoon. And I used to be really bad at this. I've always had Fridays off, but I used to think, oh, do you know what? I've got nothing planned for the afternoon.
Speaker 2:So maybe I'll do a bit of work, right, okay, so now you don't.
Speaker 3:I've got nothing on anyway, so I might as well just work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. No, that's good, okay. So it's trying out what works for you as well, then right, if we know that burnout is on the increase and it's becoming more and more, as you said, people are talking about it more, it's more in there and we're seeing a lot more of it. It's about finding the things that work for you so you can tap back into. How do you live that compassionate existence where you are living more harmonious life so you can be the best version of yourself. So it's really important.
Speaker 3:And also doing things that you think you're actually gonna do, because the one of the worst things you can do is set yourself some boundaries that in your head you're thinking I'm never gonna do that Exactly Because then you create your for yourself, yeah, and then it's that vicious circle, exactly so find what you want. Find the things you're actually gonna do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's about knowing what brings you joy. I know you talked about that on our previous pod about joy. You lost the joy, but now you found the joy. It may be it's that sitting down, giving yourself that space to think like, yeah, what does bring me joy? And I know that's a question that I ask during coaching.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, when people are, I'll ask them that question and I'm always amazed that people can't just answer it. And it's that ability to stop and think about, yeah, what does bring me joy, or what environment is it, or who am I with? That, as you said before, lifts you up. So it's, maybe that's the question we need to ask ourselves. You know, I may be feeling a bit burnt out or I might be overwhelmed with certain things, but if you ask yourself the question, what will bring me joy right now, that might be enough to tip you out of that space into something different. Yeah, yeah, oh, my God, thank you for that super quick response on that one. We just couldn't let you go without just saying, let's get her back, let's find out what that question was, let's find out more. So thank you again, lex, and we'll meet you soon. Yeah, look forward to it.
Speaker 3:Thanks, lex, take care, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:So, Laura, tell me, what did you think?
Speaker 1:As always, I find Lex so listenable. That's a high question. She just talks in such an easy to understand way. So, with the pandemic, technology, societal pressures and environmental factors and you know the societal pressures, I think is an interesting one. Debs, and I'm having conversations as I'm seeing more.
Speaker 1:I know you are even more than me about the impact that precious society can't quite cope with at the moment Elder care, mental health care, access to easy, accessible with the outside of working hours, medical support, et cetera.
Speaker 1:Actually, what we're seeing around us is a support system that is finding it tricky to cater to people who are in the world of work and what that then puts on is extra pressure.
Speaker 1:If you're managing a workload and the only time you can get that appointment is two o'clock, the impact that then has on employers needing to be really compassionate and understanding, and also, as the employee is the colleague with yourself employed, part-time employed or full-time employed is how you balance life's workload around work workload so the things that you're not getting paid for you might be paying out for it and how that balances. And I think that is also something that maybe is a knock-on effect of the pandemic, where the system has been really put under pressure. Actually, that's popping out with all of these various millions of individuals who are all trying to do well at work, and no one wants to not perform at work. But if you're trying to hold lots of different tasks listed together a bit of elder care, a bit of childcare, a bit of service or support that you're then needing then I think that is also having a real impact on people that are in the world of work at the moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. And when she was talking about it, the thing that sort of came out for me was when she said that the boundaries have been blurred, and when you think about how you can put those boundaries in place as well to help protect yourself but also to help protect those around you. So you know, sometimes you can't do the things that you wanted to do because you're having to deal with that elder care, like in my situation, you know, with my mum and dad. You know, suddenly I couldn't do the work that I wanted to do. Now I'm fortunate, as you know, we work for ourselves, so to some extent we can select. When we don't show up for work and because of the relationship we have with the people that I had to put back, you know, I was really fortunate that we're just going to rearrange it at another time, but that's I'm not employed Now. I might not have.
Speaker 2:If I was a good employer who may be a sympathetic, they might demand that I come into work. And then what do you do? Because you're then pulled between having to cope with looking after your mum and dad or somebody else within your family and having to go to work, and if you don't go to work, they're going to dock your pay and if you're already on a low wage, then that means you may not get your food for that following week because you haven't got enough money to live on. And then how do you get the help in trying to make those calls in work time? It is just incredibly stressful when you're having to deal with everything that goes around it as well as work and, as I said, I can make calls, but I can only access a system, for instance, that's in place as if they only work nine to five. The world doesn't work nine to five anymore.
Speaker 2:So, without becoming too political and getting on my soapbox about it, where's the flex around this?
Speaker 2:You know, we're not saying we have to have 24 seven, wraparound care or an access to things, but there has to be some shift that enables us to be our best selves and to give up something that enables us to work with less stress, less overwhelm, less burnout because of the societal pressures that are being put on us and the environmental pressures that are causing us to feel overwhelmed with everything, Because it's not easy to access some of this stuff when we need it and it's not easy to navigate our way through some of the gate keepers or some of the ways the systems work or the technology that means you have to jump through a thousand hoops before you can actually speak to somebody. That's not what you need if you're under pressure to cope with something that's outside of your normal inverted commas working day or the way you live your life. So, yeah, when she was talking about the blurred boundaries and the societal pressure technology, it just made perfect sense really. And it's what do we do about it? Don't know, Laura, what do we do about it?
Speaker 1:Well, I think there's a couple of things to just sort of keep, I guess, an optimistic mindset on it, which is, you know, they're getting too overly emotional about it. This too shall pass, and whatever pressure is currently being felt at the moment actually will have some kind of timeframe around it. So, for anyone that has gone through the highs and the lows of balancing a full time job with young child care, there is that, of course there's those hot pressure points, but there's also that sudden realization of, oh, I don't need to pick them up anymore.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:And actually we've seen some, had some really powerful conversations in the training room, where people have not quite caught up with the shift in the boundaries that childcare, for example, used to give them in work. But if now you don't have to go and collect them on the school run, you could just work and work and work, then you know it's sort of resetting those boundaries. So I think one of the things maybe is this isn't a permanent fixture. This particular pressure that someone might be on rather clock forward a couple of years time and actually the pressures might have shifted. So it's not a permanent place where you are at the moment. So I know you're going to give a couple of more philosophical things that can really kind of help. But just very practically, what can we then do that just then helps right here, right now. And the ancient Greeks came up with the word antidote.
Speaker 1:So antidote is derived from the words given against. So it's something if there's a toxin or a poison or there is something that is creating a harmful or unpleasant sensation a poison, for example and antidote is something that is given against that to protect that person from it. So if you are going through a time at the moment where it just feels like there's a lot of stuff going on, you know, whatever kind of that your scenario might be what can you do to give yourself an antidote that just give maybe some temporary relief, just to be able to be able to get a bit of balance? And rarar is a is that we've talked about it lots before, but just from a mindset point of view, the recognition, advancement, reward and appreciation is that the one advancement, achievement, achievement.
Speaker 1:So if you've had a working week that has not been the easiest to navigate, can you give yourself a little self coaching, self caring, check in at the end of actually what, what has what, what? Can I give myself some recognition for what have been some things that I have helped to advance forward. Even if it might been three steps forward in one part, two steps backward in another, there has been a step forward that has taken place. So you can just manage yourself and manage your mindset through that. And then the other thing maybe is to look at what are being, what am I being pushed at the moment? Where could I ease some things up? That just means I can pull a little bit and you might not feel like it, but if you are someone that is quite an extroverted character, can you go out and have a laugh and just catch up with a friend, have a coffee, just to. What do you call it, debs? Changing state change?
Speaker 2:in your state? Yes, so you change the environment, the state that you're in. So I think if you're hybrid working as well, or in the office and you haven't moved, then you need to move. So you change your state and that automatically impacts on how you think, how you feel, because you're not just stuck in one space all of the time. So the movement is really important.
Speaker 1:Because if you're feeling like life is against you and there's a lot of pressures, at that point in time you can't think yourself happy.
Speaker 1:Can you do it? You just almost need to get out, put your shoes on, get some fresh air, get out, and then your body then starts to go through that chain of events to then and they will actually might come back just think just a little bit brighter and a little bit more capable to be able to handle what those kind of pressures are. So the ancient Greeks called it an antidote things that are given against something that is harmful or poisonous. If, at the moment, this feels like there's a lot of themes that we're talking about on this episode that you connect with, what could be your antidote plan? So, in light of all the stuff that is out there that is potentially working against you at the moment, what are some things that you can put in? That means you can remind yourself that actually nature is push and pull. There will be things that are for you as well as things that are against you, and what might be one or two things that could help.
Speaker 2:I love that and you know I'm going to pick up because I know you said one of the A's was something different. Then you said appreciate I think appreciate is a nice word to use as well. Appreciate all that you have got right now. Appreciate the fact that you are able to deal with stuff. We are always underestimating, I think, our ability to cope at times and, I think, appreciating that you've gone through something, you've come out the other end of it, as you said, this too will pass and you're able to, as we always say when we're building our resilience muscle to emerge stronger, wiser and more able. So the appreciation of yourself that has enabled you to get through whatever it is you're being faced with and manage it well, because you have been able to set some boundaries that do protect your mental, emotional, physical and mental health around it and have that compassion of self, I think, appreciate that that's what you can do for yourself.
Speaker 2:And it's people sort of looking at it and go really, how can I do that?
Speaker 2:And, as you said, just by changing your state, going out for a walk, appreciating all that's around you, whether you live near a country you know, near the countryside or you live in a block of flats, just by taking that mindful moment and pausing and just looking around, that you'll see things where you just might smile or you might go.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's nice. You're not scrolling through social media, as Lex said, because that's not always good, because something negative will appear at some point, but just finding the joy back in life. And some people won't do it because they've gone through some horrendous things in their life and they think they can't be joyful, but the memories that they might have are the joy. So why would you not just embrace the memories that you might have of that person? That may no longer be in your life anymore, but you can hold on to those as moments that you appreciate, and I think that's so underestimated right now. How do we appreciate what we have got and what we are doing and what we're able to do? And by doing that we're evolving all the time, what our boundaries are, to enable us to find that, whatever that joy might look like, and make the most of the moment, as I always say, because it's really important.
Speaker 1:Give us an affirmation, deb, so something that, if someone's feeling a little bit squeezed in that middle of life at the moment, what are some phrases that are good places to start, just to wake up the day with, rather than maybe just all the things that are there that have got to be dealt with. What could be some thinking patterns that can help?
Speaker 2:I've got a couple which over the years, I've collected them, because sometimes you come up with your own and sometimes you find them on different social media platforms or in books that you might be reading, and I've always kept a note of them. So there's one that I always love, which is I know that I can accomplish anything I choose and I refuse to let anything negative hold me back or stand in my way. So when you start putting in some self-talk for setting those healthy boundaries, that's such a lovely affirmation because it sets your mind up, it changes your state, enables you to maybe be more assertive or be more compassionate or be able to determine which avenue you want to go down. So it just creates a better space that you can be in in order to have, maybe, a conversation with your boss or something about what's going on. So that's one I always love.
Speaker 2:That one and the other one I always sort of refer back to is I accept the responsibility for living my life in a way which creates my strengths, my happiness, my positive, healthy beliefs, and for my past, my present and my future. And I think that one came from somebody, if I remember rightly. I've got it written down somewhere. I'll just find it. It was from Dr Shad Helmstetter, who, when you're talking to yourself, that was one that I found ages ago, which was always stuck with me and I thought, yeah, so if you're feeling you want to create more harmony or more balance, that affirmation can make a huge difference, because then it enables you to give you permission, I suppose, to set your boundaries so that you can do that.
Speaker 2:And it's the acceptance of self, it's acceptance of your responsibility. You have a choice, as I know we've spoken about that in the past. We do have a choice, and whilst that boundary might feel super uncomfortable because you're having to say no, when normally people will say yes, bikes exploring that are explaining right now, it's, as you said, this moment to all past. But right now I've got so much on my plate, you know, and therefore I can't produce what I would normally do. I can give you some, but not all. So that might be alien to some of us to say no, but that's when we need to practice the art of saying no with compassion.
Speaker 1:Love it. So, debs, this has been, this has been well, we knew this was going to be a bit of a hot and heavy one, because it is a hot and heavy topic, and I think this as the final one in our five-part focus looking at managing continuous workloads. I keep using the phrase at the moment, the world of work is not for the faint-hearted, is it?
Speaker 2:That's very true. Oh my God, that's never a true word. Said Law, you're spot on. Yeah, it's not for the faint-hearted. Not for the faint-hearted, no.
Speaker 1:And I think I know a couple of people have, you know, replied back to some of the episodes that we run. Just saying it's just so comforting to know I'm not the only one. There are other people that are feeling the same and it doesn't mean that we kind of bring each other down and drag each other down with it, but we can just acknowledge and go. This is not an individual failing. Actually, there's a lot that is hitting the world of work at the moment. We've had just so many shape-shifting transformations that are happening and of course we're wanting people to bring their full self to work.
Speaker 1:Well, sometimes those days are warts, and all because there's some other stuff that might be going on on that person's radar. So my share of the secret, debs, would be get a colleague or a friend to listen to this, so you know, maybe his has got some bits and bobs going on at the moment, just to remind them that they're not alone. These are phases of life and nature has a way then of whatever you're having to put in now, there'll be some kind of benefit that at some point that strength and resilience and endurance is then going to help. So this too shall pass, and that antidote. Could you be each other's antidote. What could you do to maybe cheer both of you up? Send a funny picture, just something that raises a bit of cheer, and because actually that can really transform someone's outlook on that day.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I love that. I never knew that was antidote, that's what it means. But that makes so much sense for today's world, doesn't it really? And we can do it in different guises. So I suppose I've got two call to actions, if that's all right. One would be to just stop and ask yourself what brings you joy and then just remind yourself of what that joy is and then go and find it or go and do it or make it happen. So that would be my first call to action, and I suppose my other one would be if one of your team isn't their normal self in inverted commas because they've got loads of other things that they're having to contend with at the moment, I would ask somebody to show empathy and compassion for that individual, understand it from their map of the world, take that time to explore it and just understand what's going on, and then asking what support they may need. And I think you always say is it? Nobody took offence by being cared for too much, or something like that?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's Linda's phrase. It's a good one, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can never remember the exact wording, but I think it's super important is that compassion and empathy, and it doesn't take two minutes to have that. So dial that up is what my other call to action would be.
Speaker 1:Love it, debs, and the amount of people that, when we've asked them, tell us about an inspiring leader who's impacted you. The amount of people that have shared stories over the years. I was going through a tough time. My leader believed in me. They gave me some support and look at me now.
Speaker 3:So where is?
Speaker 1:that now, as a result of having that energy and compassion. I'm not saying there's a ruthless, you do this for me and I'll do that for you, but actually if people are alive, and sometimes you can really blossom if things might be a little bit tricky at the moment, that's not that person there, forever in that state? No, it's not a permanent state.
Speaker 2:No, it's not a permanent state, as you said, this too shall pass, and I think that awareness to know that and, as you say, it's that give and take, because you never know when you might need to lean on that individual and if it was done in a kind, compassionate, caring way, that person will want to, if you like, pay it back or pay it forward. Yeah, that's the world we should be creating, this kindness way of living our lives and understanding others, because, as you say, we all go through something in some part at different points in our life, and it's being surrounded by those people that are caring and compassionate and just kind.
Speaker 1:Yes, Debs, just do it Absolutely. And the best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best day to plant a tree is today, which is why, building on the back of this one, we thought it might be good to look at our next four-part focus, which is all about future readiness today. So what can we be doing now that really sets us up for thriving and success in the future? Whether that is robots and AI, whether that is handling transformation in work, whether that is looking for everyday opportunities for learning, whether that is bringing out the benefits of mentoring and coaching as a lifestyle choice, we're going to be looking at some of those things. So getting future ready today. So really come forward to that, debs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, lore, and I'm sure we'll revisit these topics at some point as well, because the feedback we're getting is huge. So I think so, but I'm so looking forward to that next series of exploration. Love innit.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and thanks again to Lex Neighbor for being such an inspiration. You really are putting stuff out there that is genuinely helping people, lex, so we look forward to getting back in touch.
Speaker 2:Yes, love it.
Speaker 1:You have a good week in the meantime, lore, oh, you too, debs.
Speaker 2:Love you.
Speaker 1:Bye, Love innit.