Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast
192. Mid Year Reflection - Pause to Process
We mark the mid-year point with a reminder of the power of taking a moment to pause, process and reflect on the past 6 months to set up well for the next. A good listen any time of the year, we also explore the benefits of processing for a team on the lessons learned, rather than leaping from one task to the next. We hear a round-up from this years guests so far with the secrets they wanted to share with us all. The Stoics practised the art of 'savouring' our past successes as a way to boost confidence, endurance and energy to face the future challenges and opportunities.
Curious for more? Check out our relevant past episodes:
180. Learning Prepares Us For the Future
136. Mid-Year Maintenance Check with guest Matt Vale - a physical wellness lens
97. Summer School: G is for Growth Mindset
69. Self Motivation: Shift Your View
We mark the mid-year point with a reminder of the power of taking a moment to pause, process and reflect on the past 6 months to set up well for the next. A good listen any time of the year, we also explore the benefits of processing for a team on the lessons learned, rather than leaping from one task to the next. We hear a round-up from this years guests so far with the secrets they wanted to share with us all. The Stoics practised the art of 'savouring' our past successes as a way to boost confidence, endurance and energy to face the future challenges and opportunities.
Curious for more? Check out our relevant past episodes:
180. Learning Prepares Us For the Future
136. Mid-Year Maintenance Check with guest Matt Vale - a physical wellness lens
97. Summer School: G is for Growth Mindset
69. Self Motivation: Shift Your View
Secrets from a coach Thrive and maximise your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with Debbie Green of Wishfish and Laura Thompson-Staveley of Phenomenal Training. Debs, Laura, are you all right? Yeah, I'm feeling quite reflective today actually.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a nice thing to do, isn't it Law? Have you been busy, though, to be able to know what to reflect on?
Speaker 1:Yes, lots on. I think we, like our team, like so many teams at the moment, are kind of chasing a never-ending to-do list as well as trying to keep one eye on the future and be innovative and all of that sort of busyness thing, which is why we thought it might be quite cool this week to do a mid-year reflection done. Sometimes we have so much energy and focus on lots of stuff that might be going around in our head but actually from a, what have I done? What have I achieved? What difference have I made? Sometimes if we're too busy to process and just even take a pause, then, um, it can get a bit disheartening and a bit overwhelming if it feels like you're never kind of achieving everything so what's?
Speaker 1:your what's your view from a coach perspective Debs about taking a moment to reflect the power of reflection. What benefit does that bring us?
Speaker 2:I think it brings a number of benefits. Actually, Laura, as you said, time just whizzes past and if we're not taking a moment and just reminding ourselves of all the things that we've achieved so far because even the small little things will add up to big things and I think, because we are moving quite quickly through stuff, actions, it's happening around us or we think it's not happening. That's the other thing we sometimes say. It's just that moment where we stop and pause and have that power pause and go. Okay, so let me just reflect and go.
Speaker 2:So what have I actually achieved? And if you've been a bit like we always encourage people in coaching to capture their thoughts or they have their own. Some people have their own coaching journal or they make notes of the conversations that we've had. We always encourage them to look back to where they started and just see how far they've come. And it's such a great exercise to do, because I think we forget how far we have come in sometimes quite a short space of time.
Speaker 2:So I don't know about you, Laura, but sometimes it feels like it was January and now we're midway through the year and I'm thinking what's happened to February, March, April, May, June? So, therefore, when we stop and pause and we go, what have we actually achieved? We've actually done loads, and it makes you feel better. It gives you a sense of purpose. It enables you to realign and know where you want to go to are. Are we still on track to deliver what we said we were going to do? Yes or no? Do we need to deviate or amend it? So I think it gives us so much information that it's wrong not to stop and pause and just take a break and a breath and go. Where am I now? Where have I come from? What have I actually achieved? Where am I today and how does that play out for the, the next bit of whatever that might look like for me, super powerful to do?
Speaker 1:and I think as well on a team level. I've lost count in the amount of times, not only this year but in previous years as well, where someone has piped up and said I think we need to do more reflection on lessons learned in this organisation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, because we're so busy kind of going from one project to another.
Speaker 1:So this is sort of reflection with a big R and a little r, so it might be a bit of a personal reflection how's this first half of the year been for me so far, but also actually where I'm working and what we're doing.
Speaker 1:What can we reflect on in terms of lesson learned and those wins, wars and wisdoms is such a nice way to kind of bring that all together. And if you've got a busy brain that is kind of constantly on the go, I guess that's where writing notes can help, because it gives you something to sort of concentrate and give your attention to. So, to stimulate our thinking, we thought it might be quite cool to listen to a bit of a quick roundup of some of the insights and secrets that our amazing guests from this year already have shared with us, just to bring a bit of variety, a bit of diversity of input and to stimulate you thinking about actually, yeah, what have I taken from this year and what might be some of the things I want to take for the second half of this year moving forward, and what might be time to let go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely, and I think also by sort of revisiting what we have heard. If you're an avid listener of our podcast, and even if you're just picking this up now, I think, to be able to just hear a snippet of what somebody has shared with us, it may encourage you to go back and listen to their actual full episode, because we've had so many great points raised by our guests haven't we, laura? And some real nuggets of information that we've been privileged to listen to. But because everything, what did you say? Whenever we sleep, we lose 65% of the information that we took on. Is that what you say when we go to sleep, or?
Speaker 3:something, yeah, at least Something like that yeah at least, at least, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we thought if we did it as a bit of reminder because it will be buried in your brain if you've listened to them and you go, oh my God, I remember, oh my God, I do remember that it might re-energize you to then go again if you like and put you back where you want to be, because it triggers something you would have heard.
Speaker 2:And if you haven't and you listen to us for the first time, it might encourage you to go back and listen to what they had to say in full. So should we have a listen to some of the snippets, laura, the snippets law as you're talking, obviously for those listening, I don't know if you can hear it in andy's voice, but certainly watching you can see the memories of great times, threw yourself into it, you were challenged around it and what I love is the fact you've sort of gone that, as you said, for retail, public, private, public police, into McCarthystone, into airports, into aviation. It's been such an eclectic career yet you've succeeded throughout that. So when people you hear people say, oh, I can't change industries or I can't move because this is all I know, what would you say to them?
Speaker 4:Well, I guess the first, the best piece of advice I ever got, debs and I remember this was in my first two months of working at Heathrow. So just to put into context, I'd kind of grown up at the ambulance service. I met my wife there. All my children were born whilst I worked at the ambulance service and I guess I turned from a boy into a man and because I'd done every role I'd almost saw myself as a bit of a subject matter expert. And then I went into the aviation industry and thought, oh my goodness, like literally Debs, I didn't sleep, I don't think, for the first two months because I was trying. I was trying to be all things to all people, and the best bit of advice I got was, uh, I got told to stop apologizing for what I felt I didn't know right and to remember the reason that I'd been brought in in the first place okay, great advice and that that piece of advice really really stuck with me and really resonated, because I thought, well, actually they're right.
Speaker 4:If, if they wanted someone that knew everything about airports, they would have brought someone in from an airport. But they didn't, because maybe that that through the process they maybe saw something in me that they didn't already have. So, um, I think I guess, in summary, just go for it as long as it's right for you, yeah, yeah I mean because I guess the truth of the matter is your experience, your knowledge, your cv doesn't go away.
Speaker 4:So if it doesn't work, that's okay, you're still going to be just as good as you were. But it just means that you were brave enough to try and actually think about what could have been. You know, if you had you not have moved, you'd always be wondering to yourself or should I have taken that job, or should I have applied for that job?
Speaker 2:yeah, I love that, yeah, super important. You know what I love when you said someone gave you that advice about stop apologizing because they've got you in for a reason and we hear that quite a lot, obviously when we're coaching others, and especially those who are transitioning through different careers, and they have this imposter syndrome that goes on and says, surely I can't. So when you're thinking about somebody who may be thinking of just taking their skill set and lifting it up and moving into something else. What would be some of the pitfalls to look out for? And if you had any, how did you overcome them? That being one, someone said stop apologizing. What other pitfalls did you experience through your diverse career? Really?
Speaker 4:Yeah. So I think pretty much whenever I've moved probably since that first time, from the ambulance service to Heathrow, or maybe even, to a degree, heathrow to Gatwick as well, was, um, so one of the pitfalls is trying to do too much all at once, so so so for me it's right around prioritizing. I love a list, so I have a, I have a list all of that all the time, and it's got a do now, do later. Um, and that helps me prioritize, um, what, what's most important, both for me and also for the business, wherever I'm working. And um, that just manifests itself into my personal life as well, because for me, it's just helped me focus my mind, but also allows me to, um, think about the intent. What is it I'm trying to achieve? What is it I'm trying to achieve? What is it I'm trying to deliver and why, basically. And so I think that would be one I think linked to that is probably over-promising and under-delivering at all, but I've definitely seen other people do it.
Speaker 4:For me, that's the easiest way to lose your team because you, you, you're offering the world. You'll say, oh yeah, we're going to have face-to-face, one-to-ones every single week. Um, then real life takes over and it just becomes impossible. And then then they'll say well, actually that first transaction of the first five transactions we had, um, you've only actually delivered on one of them. So again, my advice would be have a plan and stick to it.
Speaker 4:And then um, I guess the last one, which I've kind of covered a little bit around, that, don't apologize, remember waving, bought in, but I think for me it's around, rather than focusing on the on, on the what, um, and I think a lot of people, especially when you're changing career completely, you're like I want to be this, I want to be the expert in everything, so I look for what skills? Actually, just remember that the how is just as important, if not more important. So the way you deliver and the way you show up, you can fully control that um and you can own it. And so I think it's around just being that leader try and inspire people, generate commitment and buy in.
Speaker 2:Going back to what you said was you felt like you were just existing when you shared your. You know what was going on for you at the time. So I appreciate you doing that, lex, because I'm sure people can resonate with what you said as well and that sense of just existing when you start to work on on yourself and start to put things in place for you to bring the joy back in your life. What was your biggest lesson?
Speaker 5:Well, I just shared with you earlier, before we started recording, that one of my favorite sayings at the moment is no is a complete sentence. I love that, yeah, and so I started pushing back on things that don't make me happy. Nice, I had to figure out what makes me happy first, but now I have figured that out, I'm comfortable too, and I think that the biggest thing for me was realizing that I was trying to be all things to all people. Right, that I was trying to be wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, coach, mentor, you know, business owner, boss, everything, volunteer, because I also do a lot of volunteering.
Speaker 5:Well, I was just trying to be everybody, and so I would be very hard on myself if I wasn't doing all of those roles, playing all of those roles really well. So I think that it's enabled me to figure out what am I prepared to let go of, what would it mean if I wasn't perfect at things, and what does it mean if I say no? And I think that's the biggest lesson that I've given myself permission now, that if I don't want to do something or I want to say no, then that's okay.
Speaker 2:Then that's okay. Yeah, and I completely concur with what you're saying. But a lot of people may be fearful of saying that or saying no and recognizing that their worth and value. So, in your experience, how do you help somebody else sort of find out what their value is and that they are able to say no and look out for themselves?
Speaker 5:Well, if they need figuring out, I'd say they need to find a coach that will help them to figure that out.
Speaker 2:It's really hard to figure out by yourself, and I was very fortunate that I had a lot of coaching to help me get to that place.
Speaker 5:I think that you need to go away and think about what is the thing that makes you get up in the morning. That is the most important thing. The thing that if you didn't do or you didn't behave in a certain way when you put your head on the pillow at night, you would feel uncomfortable with it. It's that uncomfortable feeling. I'm not happy with the way I handled that situation or I behaved in that. Yeah, so it's about finding the things that really matter. Finding the things that are non-negotiables, I guess, and holding true on those things, and it shouldn't be too many things. You are, yes, I've got about three core values and those are my shining guiding lights, and those are the things that are my non-negotiables. Don't have to have a whole massive list. And then, if you've got those things that are your absolute non-negotiables, that anything else you should be able to ask yourself does this match my values? Is this going to take me where I really want to be?
Speaker 2:And if the answer is no, then you should question yourself Okay, why am I doing it then? So it would be really useful for us to hear from you why you believe feedback is so important and how has that played out in your career for you?
Speaker 6:Okay, so I mean, I think feedback is core and fundamental to human learning. I've got a 10-year-old boy. I'm giving him feedback all the time, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I do know what you mean. It's constant, so right from an early age. I think if you withhold your feedback from the person you're dealing with, be it in a work scenario or a relationship, I think you're doing a complete disservice to them. Really. I think that cringey kind of roll your eyes thing comes a little bit from the notion that feedback's often delivered in a very formulaic way and it can often come across as dishonest. And that's when people close up, because there's nothing worse than sitting in a room with someone telling you about yourself without integrity, and I think that's when people can close down really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think when you see that happen, you're right, they're not open to hear and they potentially stifle their development growth because they're not hearing that feedback that might be helpful to them. It might not be, but it might be helpful. But I suppose again, when you think about feedback, what have you seen and the impact that you've seen have when it's been given really well? And then you know what is the impact, I suppose, on the giver of the feedback, but also the person receiving it. So you know, when have you seen it happen where it's really supported and helped and it might be your own experience, it might be how you've helped somebody with that what have you noticed when it's given well?
Speaker 6:I think you notice motivation straight away. You know there's that openness. I think the message lands and you notice people motivated to make change and to move forward. So you've helped yourself in helping them in a way, and it's a win-win scenario, I think. I mean, I've personally made mistakes, giving feedback poorly, definitely, and the direct result has been on me there as well as the person I'm giving it back to. But I think you need to be sort of calm and monitored and kind, above all, whilst delivering a message, and you can see that when you speak to children, they clam up straight away if your voice raises. So it's the same thing with adults. I think you need to be, yeah, as calm and kind as you can, and that will really mean something to the recipient, I think.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 6:And then the message lands and then everybody can move on. I think it's important to give them space to receive that message, so that they can take the points on board and then ultimately grow from that really really For others that are again either maybe halfway through their careers.
Speaker 2:they may not be at the beginning of their careers, but they still need to find a network of people. So if you were to encourage them to consider how they can therefore flourish in their own careers wherever they are right now, whether they are about to return to work, they're starting a new job, they're moving into something else, they're looking for a promotion whatever it might be for somebody at this moment in time what would you encourage others to consider in relation to flourishing in their careers.
Speaker 3:Maintain a positive mindset. You know you can. You're your biggest cheerleader, all right. So if you are dependent on people, fantastic, but if you haven't got that, you're your biggest cheerleader. So go out there, do it. Do your research as well, you know. Come into the to the role or the interview. Well, research, knowing what you want to do, you know, and just put yourself out there as being capable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when it comes to networking, it doesn't always mean that you're gonna get another job or anything like that. My current network at the moment is really fueling me with a lot about the self. So my skill set, you know my personality, you know what can I bring to the table. So, with all those kinds of things that I'm learning from my mentor, that will hopefully fuel me for the next time I say, right, there's a vacancy there and I really want to go for it. So for now, it's not so much about learning about other job roles, it's about learning more about myself, because I don't think you can never stop learning, and when you keep growing your mindset and understanding you, that's what's going to give you the fuel to progress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely, and I know you've mentioned having a mentor a couple of times, so how important is a mentor?
Speaker 3:Do you know what? Oh, my God, beautifully, I've just gone into a new role in my line manager. We did a one-to-one and she said to me you know, shiv, do you have a mentor? And I said I said no. I said what's a mentor? I haven't got one of those. I've just been going with the flow of life. We've been going with the flow.
Speaker 3:She was like I was talking about before, the kind of reciprocating. You know, she's obviously seen in me that potentially a mentor could, you know, upskill me, which is wonderful, you know. And so you know you reach out on teams. Hello, you know I'm such and such. Can we connect? And ever since it's been great. You know, I've learned so much key things, you know. Or just little pushes to say, you know, try and do this. So like a little mini cheerleader. So if you can get yourself a mentor, you know, go for it. And a mentor could be anybody. It could be someone on your level, it could be someone where you know you want to progress to their stage, or it could be someone in a different department with different skill sets that you want to learn. Yeah, value, I now value mentors.
Speaker 2:I know we love mentors as well. They can make a big difference If we were to leave somebody listening in with a call to action for them to enable their passion and bring that into whatever it is they're doing. So there's that professional stretch as well. What one call to action would you give to people?
Speaker 7:Believe in yourself. You can do it. The only person stopping you being able to do that is yourself. And it might be difficult. It might be good days, bad days, hard times, good times, but you can do it. And if you can't do it, you'll give it a bloody good go. I found that throughout my career things have happened. At times they've needed to happen to allow me to progress forward. Maybe at the time I didn't realize that was the case and often I thought I was ready for something and I've been adamant on like a promotion. I am ready for my promotion, I want to be promoted. It doesn't happen. I get frustrated and angry. Then you accept it and you move forward and I look back and I think I wasn happen and then I think you've got to commit to it wholly I stopped looking at LinkedIn jobs.
Speaker 7:I stopped the notifications because, although it sounds silly, I felt that by looking at it it was kind of like me saying to the universe I'm kind of thinking that I might get a job as well and just threw myself wholeheartedly into creating this brand and just give it everything that I've possibly got, because I'd rather know I gave it everything and it didn't work than think I could have done more. If it's your passion and you really believe that you love doing that, that thing and you believe is what you're supposed to do, find a way to do it. Because if I'd rather be sitting in my nursing home when I'm in my 80s looking back thinking, oh, that was good fun, it didn't quite work out, and then I end up with another opportunity, than looking back going, I really wish I'd have tried to do that.
Speaker 1:Wow, debs, when you actually stop, pause, reflect, it's quite astonishing, isn't it? All of those conversations that we've had and all the conversations that you listening in would have had. And have we learned from that? What do we want to carry forward? What's some of the secrets that actually, between us all, we want to share to be able to make life better, safer, easier, happier, whatever might be your kind of measure yeah, definitely it was good, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:and there were some that I went oh yeah, they did say that and and, as you said, I probably wrote some notes myself but haven't necessarily reflected back on it and I've just moved on to my next to-do list, or, oh my god, I've got so much to cover. So it was really cool to listen back and remind us and remind myself even of, yeah, that was important. I like what they said. So, yeah, I think it was good to take that moment to stop and reflect and review and recognise what we've heard and what we can do about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to pause on and finish off with one of the things that has gone down quite well actually on the sessions that we've run this year is when we just sort of join up the dots and link back to current day, thinking in this decade, to the stuff that the Stoics were saying. And you know, I love the Stoics, love the Stoics, you know, from two, two and a half thousand years ago when they were practicing lots of things around how to live a good life and the Stoic philosophy of savoring your past successes.
Speaker 2:I love that, yes.
Speaker 1:So, rather than dwelling all the things I should have, would have, could have, which just depletes your energy, it downgrades your level of confidence and it really chips away at your identity as someone who's an effective person.
Speaker 1:And being able to just flip that to savoring on your past successes and almost relishing the sweetness of some of the sad or difficult things that you might have dealt with in the journey that you've been through, have dealt with and the journey that you've been through and what they said is that that was key to an effective life We've been able to savour your past successes and just being able to recall what are some of the things that I've been able to do this year, and actually some of the things that might be more difficult than planned, but I was still able to do something to progress.
Speaker 1:That it's just an instant reminder that you can go again and you can do it again.
Speaker 1:So, whether that is savoring on an individual level, savoring as a team and probably one of my kind of key share the secrets, that seems to be quite a popular one in this year is if all of our team meetings are always starting off with what haven't we done or all the things that we still need to do, then that can get a bit overwhelming and just a simple flip of what have we done so far, what are the things that we can build on, and it just gets everyone around that table just reminding themselves of we're the group of people that are able to do things, rather than constantly feeling like you're kind of a victim of all the things around.
Speaker 1:So thank you, stoics, for that wisdom that you chipped out on the stone two and a half thousand years ago. It's actually helping. You know some quite busy, quite overwhelmed kind of industries at the moment. Just being able to reflect on how we talk and what that means and balancing out that good news with the challenging news is probably one of the things that we can all practically take away just to keep that element of empowerment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I love that, lauren. I know you are a big advocate of them and I always learn from you when you start talking about it and go, wow, feel. And what do you now think and add to your qualities? List of the strengths that you've gathered, the unique skills you are adding to, and remind yourself of just how fabulous you are. That would be my call to action oh, marvelous.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you. That's a nice little shiny way to end this mid-year reflection. And talking of shiny new things, we are going to have a three-part focus looking at all things to do with service. Could it be that service and service levels are going to be one of those key differentiators between the people, the individuals, the industries, the professions that are able to thrive through lots of ongoing change and transformation? And what does service actually mean in practice? Things like one size fits one, and how do you tailor different approaches. So I'm really looking forward to that, and we're going to have a guest as well as one of our episodes. So, debs, may you have a wonderful, reflective and successful week.
Speaker 2:You too, laura. Yes, traveling around still, but coming to the end of the tour of the UK, so that's always a good one, and you have a good one.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you so much. So have a brilliant week. Love you. Bye. We hope you've enjoyed this podcast. We'd love to hear from you. Email us at contact at secretsfromacoachcom, or follow us on Insta or Facebook. If you're a Spotify listener, give us a rating, as it's easier for people to find us, and if you want to know more, visit our website wwwsecretsfromacoachcom, and sign up for our newsletter here to cheer you on and help you thrive in the ever-changing world of work.