199. Happy Hour: Communication shot - Expressive Martini Artwork

Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast

Ideal for your commute, lunch break or even a well-deserved moment of self-care and development, our 25 minute episodes focus on positive actions to help you thrive and maximise your potential in the ever-evolving workplace, and in life. Join Debs and Lau, your positive cheerleaders bursting with energy and insight to maximise your confidence and success in the changing workplace. Leave feeling motivated, supported and armed with the tools and practical skills you need to maximise success as we experience the biggest shift in how we work in our lifetimes. We lift the lid on the real foundations for success in this new world of work. Our weekly episodes remain current and up-to-date and we frequently welcome high-profile guests to keep things fresh and diverse and to tackle topics like:Leadership, mindset, success, confidence, motivation, mental health, self-care, time management, career development, work life balance, thriving in the workplace and the future of work, handling setbacks and obstacles, dealing with difficult work relationships, delegating, managing upwards, performance, teamwork, setting up teams, neurodiversity in the workplace, mid-life learning and healthy hybrid working habits, motivation, team morale, conflict, embracing diversity, personal branding, impact and influence. Creating an authentic and innovative culture, team harmony and aligned performance, boosting self-motivation, change leadership, engaging people in change and transformation programmes, reducing online stress, setting and maintaining boundaries, communication, great one-to-ones, personal resilience, emotional intelligence, GROW, focus and goal-setting, productivity, coaching, wellness, successful team meetings, learning and development, difficult conversations, sales presentations, storytelling, effective client meetings, inclusion and belonging, Insights Discovery profiling®, team coaching, mediation, team days, fox vs panda mindset, inspirational appraisals, employee engagement, compassionate existence, purpose and values and meaning, getting promoted, career coaching, 100 Year Life, succession planning, 21 packets of time, HR and Talent teams, new start-ups, entrepreneurs, working from home, balancing family and business, first 90 days, power of a network, assertiveness, creativity and passion, wisdom, breathing and mindfulness, neurobics, inner critic to inner coach, self-regulation and self-management, self-esteem, self-belief and self-worth, impact of AI on workplace, the robots are coming, happiness and fulfilment, work-related stress and pressure, unwritten rules of working, blurred lines, inspirational leadership, supportive workplaces, reducing anxiety, reflection and headspace, digital wellbeing, operational organisation, using Teams and Zoom, train the trainer, intention, project management, continuous improvement, decision making, critical thinking and problem-solving, sustainability, how you show up, integrity and trust, active listening, negotiation, selling, meeting etiquette, line manager skillset, giving feedback, new managers, personal growth and self-development, challenging times, teamwork makes the dreamwork, TNT Tiny Noticeable Things, less drama more calmer, team tethering time, technology habits, positive language, making a difference, self-sabotage, intuition and gut feel, embrace difference, tailoring to different styles, personalisation, gratitude, achievement, fun and great places to work, overcoming fear, recognition, reward, achievement and advancement motivators, pandemic disruption, self-awareness and empathy and our all-time favourite topic: smashing the Imposter Syndrome. If you’d like any more information or to work with us on any of these topics, reach out to us via secretsfromacoach@aol.com, connect via Insta or Facebook and please rate and review so we can reach out and support more people. #sharethesecret

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Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast

199. Happy Hour: Communication shot - Expressive Martini

August 23, 2024

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Welcome to our Summer Happy hour - where learning is free and there’s enough for everyone!

Come join us for a 10 min shot to refresh and reset your intention, delicious content mixed with some cool beach bar music vibes.

And this week’s cocktail no4 is Expressive Martini where we are joined by Cognitive Behavioural Expert Lindsey Thompson. She mixes us a blend of practical ideas for effective and impactful communication in our work (and home) life. Whether for yourself or your team, we mix a shot of individual differences with a dash of structure and served with a bowl of emotional intelligence on the side. 'I'll just' and think: TED. An ideal sundowner for those wanting a supportive and inspirational pep talk.

Liking the summer vibe? Check out our GROWTH Summer School from 2022:
Ep. 97 G is for Growth Mindset
Ep. 98 R is for Relationships
Ep. 99 O is for Optimism
Ep. 100 W is for Wellness
Ep 101 T is for Teamship
Ep. 102 H is for Harmony

Speaker 1: 0:03

secrets from a coach. Thrive and maximize your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with debbie green of wishfish and laura thompson staveley of phenomenal training.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Debs. Oh, how was your performance? Aperol Spritz going.

Speaker 1: 0:29

Well, I rocked that karaoke. Debs, how was your zip line?

Speaker 2: 0:32

Me. I loved it. I went back again for another go. It was brilliant. I'm doing a longer one next time.

Speaker 1: 0:37

Oh, good on you, because we were joined at the bar by our amazing teammate and we were talking about a 10 minute shot on performance. What does that mean? We called it apple roll spritz. This is part of our fresh take with summer. For many people it's a chance to regroup, reset, refresh, re-energize. So we thought we would mix up things a little bit and invite you to join us for a bit of a sundowner in our summer happy hour. So last week was a performance spritz. The week before we sat down and we had a shot on compassion. That was a people colada. And the first one in our cocktail menu was around motivation, our mojo mojito. And this one, debs, is going to be joined at the bar by another of our amazing teammates and they're going to be telling us all about communication, and we called this one an expressive martini we did law, so let's listen in and see what we can pick up from that one hey debs, hey laura.

Speaker 3: 1:37

It's lindsay, hope you're having a lovely summer. Here's my input for expressive martini. In the midst of my summer and having spent some time finishing work and having a break, holding my boundaries, and then coming on away with my family, here's my top tips from a communication point of view. What have I discovered and what's useful? So, always for me, because of my love of transactional analysis, I'll always start with how we communicate with ourselves and what is the way we can hook ourselves into breaking our boundaries. And I think it's the phrase I'll just. You know what? I'll just check this email, I'll just send that person a message and the I'll just, which sounds so innocuous, so harmless. I'll just do this so I can get it off my mind. I'll just. That is the doorway to the boundary break where we then go. Oh, look at the time. I've now spent two hours checking my emails and just replying to things. So watch out for the I'll just. It's the doorway to the boundary break. Other useful tips will be, I've noticed, dealing with I've got a teenager. So these all top tips welcome these work in any shape or form, whether it's leadership, whether it's communicating with a teenager.

Speaker 3: 3:00

I think it's the power of TED. So when someone says something that can be a little bit explosive could be like a bit of a kind of verbal grenade. I'll give you an example my daughter yesterday. I said you know, we could be leaving in a minute, how close are you getting to ready? And she's like why are you always on my back? And as soon as she says that I could go, well, I'm not. I'm not always on your back, I'm trying to defend myself. So when we're triggered, we call it our unconscious defended. I want to defend, we want to defend ourselves and say something which then can escalate into conflict.

Speaker 3: 3:29

So being able to say, use TED, which is tell me more or talk to me, explain to me how I do that, or describe to me the deed, describe to me what does that mean to you, how does that look like, is a way of avoiding conflict. So I found that really interesting. Libby, tell me more about that. You feel that when you're back all the time. And then she then talked herself out of it and says well, I know you don't do that usually. Actually, I don't know why I said that.

Speaker 3: 3:54

So it's that second question really, tell me more, talk to me, explain to me how I do that or describe to me how that looks for you. This also works really, really well when we're in a team and someone might say something that's a little bit you know, a little bit triggering, and take might take us below the drama line. So they're my top tips. I would say enjoy your summer, hold your boundaries from a negotiated place. So I'm choosing to do this and watch out for those saboteur phrases. You know what I'll just or, if I just look at this, know that doing it opens the doorway to it could be opening the doorway to a boundary break and have a great summer.

Speaker 2: 4:37

So, laure, tell me how expressive are you?

Speaker 1: 4:40

Oh, I'm feeling buzzing after that expressive, martini. What's?

Speaker 2: 4:44

some really great insights and reminders about the impact that communication has, debs yeah, I think, and it happens all the time, and I think if we're not mindful of how we are putting our message across, or we're not adapting or flexing, then it can create chaos, right, and we definitely don't want that where we get barred from somewhere. So for me, it's about how we can be curious about what's going on, go, oh, if somebody goes says something, you're going, that's interesting. Ask questions. Yeah, what was that about? How does that feel? Have that curious mindset so that you can create even more clarity when it comes to communication and actually, whether that is in the workplace or whether it's in holiday.

Speaker 1: 5:24

In holiday equally mode, you might be forced to sit next to people that you might not have actually wanted to, but you sort of need to communicate and I think my kind of takeaway of that the phrase just kept going through my mind about lean and clean. So what is the lean and clean way to approach this conversation so it doesn't drag on for far longer than it needs to? So both sides are really clear on what's just been discussed and what's just been agreed. So I've taken loads from that. You know, sometimes you just sit at the bar and you have a chat with someone with a fresh perspective and it can really give you an opportunity to review and reflect on your own wisdom and then maybe just tweak a few things that you think might be on the horizon.

Speaker 2: 6:05

Yeah, definitely. And I think that variation in how you use your voice and your communication, I think as well, is super important to consider. So it's not just a one size fits all or it's not just a monotone which nobody wants to get involved with or want to even have a conversation with you. So I think, yeah, that's super important to consider. How am I going to deliver this message in the first place? Yeah, so I can be expressive.

Speaker 1: 6:27

Yeah, wonderful, cool, so I've really enjoyed this sundowner. So, thank you again for joining me at the bar, and no worries, it's always a pleasure, isn't it? And we've got one more in our cocktail menu to try out.

Speaker 2: 6:39

We have and it's a biggie. So let's. Yeah, I'm going to go and find some other people to chat to to get some information that we can feed into it, but I'll see you. I'll see you at the bar.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Beautiful. See you at the bar.

Speaker 2: 6:49

Love you, love you.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Bye. We hope you've enjoyed this podcast. We'd love to hear from you. Email us at contact at secretsfromacoachcom, or follow us on Insta or Facebook. If you're a Spotify listener, give dot com or follow us on Insta or Facebook. If you're a Spotify listener, give us a rating, as it's easier for people to find us. And if you want to know more, visit our website, wwwsecretsfromacoachcom, and sign up for our newsletter here to cheer you on and help you thrive in the ever-changing world of work. Thank you.