Mindful Mothering: Embracing the Journey, Imperfections and All

EP181: As I reflect on the ups and downs of my own mothering journey, I can't help but recognize the transformative power of embracing imperfections and learning to care for myself intentionally. Whether Mother's Day is on the horizon or you're in the midst of an ordinary week, the principles of mindful mothering are a beacon in the chaos of parenting. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the mother archetype and how it influences us, drawing from the wisdom of Carl Jung to navigate the complexities of being the nurturer and protector our children need. Listen in for three pivotal tips that have reshaped my approach to motherhood and self-care on the journey of mindful mothering.

Find the Show Notes Here (www.artofhomeschooling.com/episode181)

Inspired at Home Membership (www.artofhomeschooling.com/inspiredathome)

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

You're listening to the Art of Homeschooling podcast, where we help parents cultivate creativity and connection at home. I'm your host, jean Miller, and here on this podcast you'll find stories and inspiration to bring you the confidence you need to make homeschooling work for your family. Let's begin. Hello there. In honor of Mother's Day, which is coming up next week here in the United States, I'm recording this episode about mindful mothering. Of course, you could listen to this any time of year and no matter whether you're a mother, a father or even a grandparent. Today I have three tips for mindful mothering that are going to help you embrace the idea of motherhood or parenthood in an intentional way and in a way that helps you be good to yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:16

Mother is an archetype, a universal pattern or image that's present in the collective unconscious of all human beings. According to psychologist Carl Jung, this archetype represents the concept of the nurturing, caring mother with maternal and protective instincts. A mother is, at their most basic, a giver of life. The reality is that many of us didn't grow up with a nurturing and caring mother, and that adds extra challenge when we become mothers or parents ourselves, because the truth is that we all come from dysfunctional families of some sort, but working with this idea of mother as archetype can help us heal old wounds while showing up as our best selves for our children. This can help us mother ourselves. Here are three tips for mindful mothering so that you can show up as your best self. These tips come from my own personal life experience, growing up in a family where there was more anger than nurturing and parenting three children when I felt completely ill-equipped.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Let's start with the first tip Acknowledge the imperfections. When we can see the imperfections in our own mothers as well as in ourselves, we can be open to love. Of course, we want to see a person as more than their imperfections, but starting by acknowledging that we all are imperfect is so powerful. As Brene Brown says in her book the Gifts of Imperfection when we acknowledge the imperfections, we can begin to love with our whole hearts. Here's a quote from the beginning of the book Owning our own story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. We are all shaped by the mothers in our lives as well as how we care for ourselves.

Speaker 1: 3:40

The mother archetype shows up in our lives in many forms, and it's not always in our own mothers. In my life, I have found dear friends and mentors who are like mothers to me, who nurture me and invite me to be my true self, even get to know my true self. All of us have mothers in our lives, whether by blood or by friendship, those who love us for who we are and see the best in us. I invite you to think about who has been a mother to you. What lasting gifts have they given you? By examining those relationships and acknowledging the love as well as the imperfections, we can pay homage to those special people in our lives who have shown us how to live here on this earth and, in the process, come to love and appreciate ourselves in an even bigger way.

Speaker 1: 4:46

My next tip is to ask for what you want. There are a lot of expectations for a mother to give and give and give. We often put these expectations on ourselves as well, and there's not always enough support or appreciation for all that we do. Much of the work of motherhood is hidden. I often say that as moms, we create and hold the space for our entire family, and that requires a lot of energy. It's work that's not always visible, and if we sit around waiting for appreciation or even expecting others to recognize all we do. I know from experience the end result will be disappointment. We cannot expect others to read our minds and take care of our needs. So my biggest tip for mothers is to ask for what you want. I know many of us are not accustomed to doing this. Many of us are brought up to not ask for what we want, so this can take practice. But waiting until you're angry or burned out is a recipe for disaster. Believe me, I know this from experience. So I want to encourage you to start simply and just speak what you want and need out loud. Something like I want to plant some flowers together this afternoon, or I'd like help with the laundry on Sundays, or I'm tired so I'm going to lie down and read my book. I promise it's so much easier than waiting for or wishing for someone to read your mind. So give it a try and ask for what you want. So give it a try and ask for what you want.

Speaker 1: 6:49

My third tip is to love yourself, mother yourself. We can be gentle with ourselves. We can tell ourselves we did our best, even if things didn't work out the way we had hoped. We can talk to ourselves kindly. We can look in the mirror and say I love you. Here's what I want you to take away from this episode Speak kindly to yourself as if you're talking to a dear friend. Do things that make you happy. Fill up your own cup, take breaks when you're tired, when you need to Practice gratitude, eat good food, get good sleep, move your body, read or listen to inspiring poetry and stories of your own choosing. Stop comparing yourself to others and accept that you will make mistakes.

Speaker 1: 7:51

I know deep down in my heart that the work we are doing in this world is important and appreciated, regardless of how many thanks we get, or gifts or flowers we get on Mother's Day, regardless of how much our family expresses their appreciation. Let's all remember that, and it all starts with loving ourselves. Here's a great quote that helps me when I'm being especially hard on myself Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up despite the struggles. That's Sharon James. No matter where you are on your journey of self-love, and whatever you're feeling today, I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm thinking of you and honoring all you do. The truth is that we can find the mother archetype in a variety of places it isn't just in our own mothers we can experience the nurturing from others and from ourselves, and that mother's love can be healing.

Speaker 1: 9:04

I have a special gift for you today, as we approach Mother's Day here in the US. If you need help getting in touch with feelings of worthiness, check out my little gift the Mother's Day Manifesto. You'll find a link to it in the show notes for this episode at artofhomeschoolingcom, slash episode 181. In the printable manifesto, I've created 10 affirmations to help you honor all you do for your family. Print it out, hang it on the wall and put it in your planner as a reminder that you matter and that you are loved. Here's a quick recap of my three tips for mindful mothering. One acknowledge the imperfections of your mother and yourself. Two ask for what you want. Three Two ask for what you want. Three love yourself and mother yourself. Thanks for tuning in today, sending you big hugs from one mama to another. See you next time. That's all for today, my friend, but here's what I want you to remember Rather than perfection, let's focus on connection. Thanks so much for listening and I'll see you on the next episode of the Art of Homeschooling podcast.