The Middle Years: Time of Transition

During the middle school years, students start embracing their individuality and become more independent. Listen to Helen Gin, Middle School Principal, and Glen Blair, Middle School Counsellor, discuss how the student experience during this vital period is guided by dedicated faculty and progressive programming that support each student’s development, so they acquire the confidence to meet the challenges of independent and collaborative learning in an international and technologically-rich context. Learn more about the challenging Middle Years Programme that encourages students to make practical connections between their studies and the real world.

To see the MYP in action, search the hashtag #Yorklearns on Twitter and follow @MsHelenGin. Learn more about Marc Brackett’s work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence by visiting www.ycei.org. And Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book, How to Raise an Adult, is worth a read.

Written and produced by Natasha Estey
Audio editing by Andrew Scott

Transcript

Natasha Estey: 0:02

Hi there, and welcome to YORK Talks, a podcast for families wanting to learn more about The York School, Toronto's leading co-ed, independent IB school. I'm your host, Natasha Estey. Join me in conversation with school leaders, teachers, students, and parents in The York School community about different aspects of the school and get insights into some of the most progressive approaches to education today... inside York. Welcome to the third episode of YORK Talks! Remember middle school? For many, it was a time of social churn, physical changes, strong emotions, needing social connections and recognition, questioning authority, and searching for identity. And it didn't help that middle schools were often misaligned with tweens needs to belong, assert autonomy, connect, establish a positive self-identity, and exercise independence. These bridge years between primary school and secondary school are a pivotal time for young adolescents, whose bodies and minds are developing more rapidly than at any stage other than the first two years of life. Today, we're going to be talking about this time of transition and how The York School does middle school right. To dig into this. I am joined by Helen Gin, our Middle School Principal, and Glen Blair, our Middle School Counsellor. Helen has been at The York School for 17 years after teaching overseas at international IB schools in Japan and Belgium. Helen moved from teaching science into educational leadership and has been Principal of the Middle School since 2012. An IB educator through and through, Helen is also an IB consultant and workshop leader. During the COVID pandemic, Helen has resurrected some skills like using a sewing machine to repurpose clothing and growing a hearty vegetable garden full of cucumbers, tomatoes, corn, and so on. And she figured out the secret to keeping animals - like raccoons - away from the garden. Lay down chicken manure. Who knew? Glen spent the first 15 years of his teaching career overseas in places like Shanghai, Bolivia, and Tanzania. He has worked as a counsellor both in schools and in private practice. Glen has been York's Middle School Counsellor for the better part of a decade and has completed professional development in social and emotional learning from Rutgers and Yale. Like Helen, Glen's IB roots run deep. He continues to be an IB Diploma examiner. Outside of school, Glen is an avid hiker, camper, canoer, and all round outdoorsman. During the COVID pandemic, Glen discovered some hiking gems much closer to home, like the McLaughlin Bay Wildlife Reserve behind GM's headquarters in Oshawa. I'm definitely going to check that out sometime. Glen, Helen, thank you for joining me today. Okay, so how do you each remember your middle school experience being like?

Helen Gin: 3:43

Well, I can start Natasha. I would say when I was in middle school - it was called junior high at the time - I found myself feeling awkward at various various points in those years. And I say various points is that they coincided with what was going on in school and what was going on with my peer group at the time. So there was a lot of up and down, a feeling, is this the right thing to do? Should I be wearing this? Should I be saying this? And then there would be a smooth out period where life was what I saw as being normal. And then there would be another spike where there was some sort of issue that I was navigating. So I found that time really tumultuous - up and down. But it was also a very fun time. I remember being silly with my friends quite a bit and pushing boundaries and just having fun - fun with the classes, fun with my friends. It was a very special time. So to be back in that time now as an educator has rekindled the outlook that it is a very special time for our adolescence to be navigating - and especially more so with COVID impacting our day-to-day operations.

Natasha Estey: 5:15

Glen, how about you? How do you remember your middle school experience?

Glen Blair: 5:19

Well, middle school is probably one of the reasons I became a counsellor. It was definitely an interesting time. In my hometown, they took like 450 thirteen and fourteen year-olds and put them all in a school by themselves. So we had a separate middle school where all the kids in grade seven and eight were put together. There was a lot of bullying in middle school, and a lot of identity issues with students really trying to figure out where their place was and how they fit in. But also, for me, I think, one of the most interesting things about middle school is it is where I started to do things that I continued to do for the rest of my life. So I started to play football, and I played football all the way through high school and college. I started doing theatre, and I continued to do theatre into university, and I continue to do it in my day-to-day life. So it's an interesting time, because it is kind of - that identity piece is where you really start to make choices about things that you like, and who you like hanging out with, and who treats you with respect. And I think that, for me, the middle school piece is pivotal, just in kind of how you frame the future.

Natasha Estey: 6:44

And obviously, both of you have worked with lots of middle school students over the years. From all of that experience, what do you say are the biggest fears that students might have coming into grade six, seven, or eight?

Glen Blair: 7:00

Well, I think acceptance is the largest concern. It's just, where is my place? Who am I going to hang out with? So that the transition- I always find - into middle school is, if students land socially, successfully, then the academics kind of take care of themselves. But if students struggle with the social piece, then often we see, you know, some academic issues that start to arise as well. So I like to really focus on the friendships and the relationships, and just making sure that students actually feel accepted by the community, and also that they find their place and their people.

Natasha Estey: 7:41

Helen, what about you?

Helen Gin: 7:43

I would concur with what Glen just shared. But I'd also expand on that - that part of that acceptance is also trying to strike a balance with nurturing and opening up themselves to other interests and areas that they would not otherwise pursue, because they are trying to balance that acceptance piece. So I see that as a bit of a struggle. And Glen and I've talked over the years that we recognise that a student might be behaving socially in a certain way. But in time, they will realize that that choice is probably not the best route for them and they should try to strike out on their own, and really pursue whatever it is that we suspect is of interest. But because there's that tension of belonging, they don't pursue necessarily, they're not as open minded as they they could be. So I think that's a real struggle for middle school students.

Glen Blair: 8:47

Yeah, that piece of standing out, of being different is, you know, is a big leap. And those are some of the skills that I think that you really want to kind of foster is that risk taking piece. I'm willing to take that chance to do the debate, to speak up in class, or to be the lead in the play, or to play that instrument. I think that that's - the fear is just like, you know, how are my peers going to feel if I play the wrong note, or I sing off key, you know, and so it's just getting them to take those risks.

Natasha Estey: 9:25

I also wonder if they're afraid of the whole combination lock - fail to get their locker open. Helen, you've said that middle school marks a fundamental transition in a student's life and how has the middle school experience at York been designed to honour students' physical, social, emotional, and academic development during this time?

Helen Gin: 9:47

That's a great question, Natasha. I think what we have here at the York Middle School is an environment with programming and people in place to support that fundamental transition. And I would start with how we design the day for the students. And that day starts with a homeroom period that is facilitated by a specialist in the middle school. And every day the kids come to school, and Glen, I take from you the phrase of a soft landing- where they can just figure out what happened the day before, reflect on that, and look ahead at what's ahead, and talk about other social issues or academic issues, or even what happened on YouTube or in the news the day before - before they jump into their academic programming. And in that homeroom, we have a framework where we discuss and teach kids about social emotional learning, and that is about how to navigate differences in your relationships, how to advocate for yourself, how to manage a lot of competing demands - whether it's due dates, or materials, or friendships. Also, in that homeroom period, we try to honour a bit of free choice. You know, I think an important part of kids as they find their place is that they have opportunities to have choice. And when they have control of that notion, they feel a bit more ready and more certain about taking on the day. So we have a flex period that allows kids to choose where they want to seek extra help or to catch up on their homework. And surprisingly, the majority of the kids take that time seriously and they pursue a particular area that they realize that they need to. And so that is the beginning of helping them become more independent as they get a little older. That homeroom period is also finished off at the end of the day where they regroup with the same person and the same group of students that they started with at the beginning of the day. And there's a bit of a wrap-up period and organization as to, you know, what's ahead, and what their priorities are. So that's an example of how we support the transition. The other area is that the academic programme is designed so that we have one or two key people - the homeroom teacher being one of them - and another person that teaches them two or more subject areas. So those people get to know a student intimately. And having that intimate knowledge about a child's well-being is the first place before we start diving into academics. So that's another design area of the middle school that helps support that transitional time for them.

Natasha Estey: 12:59

I know that we're not emphasising discussion of the the Middle Years Programme academic curricular framework per se. But obviously, the students who are in grade six, seven, and eight are in the first years of the IB Middle Years Programme. Are you able to just - in a nutshell - describe what the MYP is? And obviously, it's very supportive of this design and this approach to middle school that we take at York.

Helen Gin: 13:27

Sure, I can answer that question. I would say, at 10,000 feet, you could look at the IB Middle Years Programme as an educational framework that places a student at the centre of their learning - and by that meaning that the curriculum is designed, where possible, to invite students to inquire into the subject areas, and through a lens where it's conceptually based. And that is an exciting challenge for students because they get to chart the direction and how they might want to take their learning. An example I would say is, let's just take a look at humanities - that area of the humanities - teachers might open a unit of study with a big enduring question that asks students, what is my place in the world? And by that kind of a question, the response can be very different for students as it supports and anchors their prior knowledge and experience in giving shape and direction to how they might answer that question while learning a particular curricular piece. For example, the founding of Canada by the French. So they would learn some curricular but through the lens of a bigger question that allows them to make that connection. And so much of engagement in the academic programme - we've learned over the years - has to do largely with how engaging that is presented to them. So that's what the MYP and the IB strives to develop in our learners - an engagement that really instils the sense of, you know, I'm in control, I'm at the centre of my learning, I'm in charge.

Glen Blair: 15:27

With the MYP, there's the approaches to learning, and we always talk using the analogy of a toolkit, which is like we're putting together a toolkit for what you need in life. And so there's that practical application you were just talking about in terms of, you know, being really interested and engaged in something because I'm applying it to real life. But it's also the skills, the executive functioning skills that come from time management, organization, and self-regulation. And that they're explicitly taught in the MYP programme, I think that's a major difference between the Middle Years Programme and a traditional middle school programme. A lot of times, you know, they have deadlines and they have to figure out when things are due and how to get things done. But they're not necessarily explicitly taught, okay, we're going to give you three different options, you're going to use the Google Calendar, you're going to use a handwritten agenda, or you can use your phone and we're going to give you those choices, but you're going to tell us why this one's the best one for you, and how you're going to utilize it in in the best way. And I think that some of those tools that go into the toolkit are just inherent in the MYP programme. So I just think that that's an important add-on as well.

Natasha Estey: 16:50

Thank you. That's great, Glen. Supporting the whole child is central to The York School's approach to education, you know, all the way through from JK to 12. And we know - research certainly supports this - that academic success is intrinsically tied to social and emotional wellness. Glen, as Middle School Counsellor, what do you do to connect with students and work with teachers to support students' personal and academic development?

Glen Blair: 17:19

So, one of the key pieces is that we do have a social and emotional learning programme in the middle school. We're using the Yale RULER Programme from the Center for Emotional Intelligence. And it focuses on teaching self-regulation and understanding what our emotions are. Also thinking about how to work collaboratively and how we can use skills to resolve conflict or to move projects forward, to find ways of working together practically that looks like classes in the homeroom. At the grade six level this year, you know, I'll be going in specifically and teaching homeroom classes. And in grade seven and eight, I'll teach those skills and the Learning Strategies course which they have every other day, for 45 minutes. Then there's the outside piece, which as the Middle School Counsellor this year during COVID, looks like going for a counselling walk. So, you know, we can take off masks and actually see each other's facial language and read each other's body language, and have conversations about things that, you know, might be upsetting them or difficulties that they're having. In other ways, it's counselling sessions and working with the family to find the resources that children need if they are struggling.

Natasha Estey: 18:47

And that continuity of the social and emotional learning programme all throughout the school. We're going to be having an episode where I'm going to be speaking with Elissa Kline-Beber who's our Director of Student Wellness, and talk in a bit more detail about SEL at The York School. We think about the families who are listening and obviously, you know, some families might already have a child in middle school somewhere else, what have you. What are some ways or advice that you might have - some ways that parents and educators - you know, just because it is a bit of a partnership - could help improve kids' middle school experience?

Helen Gin: 19:28

I can start with a few tips, Natasha, with that. I would say in my observations over the years, what I'm seeing is that emotions play a large role in the response and the reaction of the adults that are part of a child's life. And I think it's really important. We've learned from people like Marc Brackett who has come to the school as a consultant and people like Julie Lythcott-Haims, also a guest speaker, who have shared with parents and educators a lot about how a student's ability to be resilient to adversity comes from the response and the reaction that the adults in the room are giving to a situation. And so something I've learned over the years is that escalated emotions is a normal reaction to some situations and that we don't want to deny students of having them. What we want to teach students is that that is your reaction but you can control that, you can determine how long that reaction is going to take part in your life. And you can also make choices about the strategies to mitigate those emotions, should they appear again in your life. And so that's a really, really important skill and mindset to get both the adults and the kids paying attention to and developing, because that's a key piece and how they face future challenges. If we do not respond in that way, and we too quickly react to the situation and try to smooth it over, or fix it - and I put quote unquote, fix it- what we're doing is we're denying students that opportunity to develop that resilience, and to endure that discomfort that they're experiencing. And so I would say the nugget of advice I would give to parents is to be okay with emotions, and help your child recognize that it's a temporary place. It doesn't last for a long time. It's a short period of time, if you look through that lens.

Glen Blair: 22:04

Yeah, I would also say communication. You know, merely asking, how was your day or what did you do today is going to not generate the best response from your middle school child. And so, looking at different ways of communicating with them in terms of asking, you know, open-ended questions - what was the best thing of the day? What was something you struggled with today? If you could go back and redo five minutes of today, which five minutes would it be and why? You know, just kind of having fun with a little bit, because middle schoolers definitely start to move to their peers in terms of where they're looking for feedback and where they think, you know, power and prestige is going to come from. And the parents can still have such an important, crucial role in role modelling. As Helen alluded to, in terms of, you know, we used to talk about helicopter parents, and now we're looking at the term snowplough. If you remove all obstacles away, then the student never faces any adversity. And so, you know, you want to role model for them, you know, oh, yeah, I had this difficulty at work today and this is how I resolved it. And that's in the communication. You know, you can't have that if you're not having good conversations.

Natasha Estey: 23:32

That's great. We're just going to kind of wrap things up, I guess. It has been such a - I mean, I feel like we could continue talking about this for, at length. But just to finish off, what are three things about how we approach the middle school years from grade six through grade eight that you would want families to remember after listening to this episode?

Glen Blair: 23:56

Well, I think for me, you know, our motto is Experience Teaches, and the experiential aspects of The York School are second to none. And it really kind of frames the learning at The York School. I also think that Helen, as the Middle School Principal, has created a school that is designed for middle schoolers, and that's a big difference. She alluded to the fact that hers was a junior high and, you know, middle schoolers need a space and an approach to learning that is actually designed for them. And the focus on relationships with those homeroom teachers and our advisory programme is crucial. And then the third thing is just the options at The York School. There's so many different extracurriculars and ways for students to become engaged, that they can find their people here - because it could be in debate, it could be in art club, it could be in athletics. There's just so many different opportunities for them to kind of look for and find the people that they need to support them, that it provides that soft landing which people need as they're coming into middle school.

Helen Gin: 25:11

Natasha, I would say the three things that come to mind, and I would answer it through the lens of - one's experience in the middle school years is going to hinge on, number one, the relationships that students and parents nurture during that time. And we've talked about it during our podcast - that's from the homeroom teacher, through the counsellor, through the subject teachers, or the supervisors or facilitators that they have for their athletics and co-curriculars. So that's a really important piece. The more they nurture those relationships, the more likely students are going to be able to navigate challenges with a bit more ease. The second point that I would say about the middle school experience is the lens through which you experience middle school. And that lens, I think, has to be one that accepts that it's a bumpy road. And that bumpy road has ups and downs. And it's shaped that way because it's just so new. Biologically, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, there's a lot of change that's happening all at the same time. So that lends itself to why that road is bumpy. And the third thing is the optimism that it's a short time. Because it is. It's about two to three, four years of your entire life. But that short time can be filled with a lot of excitement, as long as your mindset sees that you're well supported during that time. So those are my three nuggets about the middle school experience - relationships, bumpy road, short time.

Natasha Estey: 27:11

Leaving a sense of real hope and optimism for, you know, the future and what the middle school experience can be - with eyes wide open, of course. Thank you both so much for this. This has been just a really fascinating conversation and a lot of really great stuff in here, I think, for families to hear about how we do middle school at The York School.

Unknown: 27:40

Thank you, Natasha, for the opportunity to share.

Natasha Estey: 27:44

Absolutely. And Glen, thanks again, too, for your perspective.

Glen Blair: 27:50

Thank you for inviting me.

Natasha Estey: 27:56

We covered a lot of ground in this episode. Thank you for listening. And thanks again to our Middle School Principal, Helen Gin, and our Middle School Counsellor, Glen Blair, for joining me today. To see the MYP in action, search the hashtag #Yorklearns on Twitter, and follow @MsHelenGin. You can learn more about Marc Brackett's work and the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence by visiting www.ycei.org. Julie Lythcott-Haims' book, How to Raise an Adult, is worth a read. Look for a link in the show notes. Visit YORK Talks online at www.yorkschool.com/YORKTalks. Don't forget to subscribe to YORK Talks where you get your podcasts and tell other families wanting to learn more about The York School. I'm your host, Natasha Estey. I hope you enjoyed the conversation today. Please join me again for more YORK Talks.