Hungry Dog Barbell Podcast
Amy Broccoli 2: Strength Renewed
This week we have Amy Broccoli returning to the show to tell us more about her journey through sobriety. Amy has used the power of the CrossFit community to help her stay great full and strong on her hardest days. Embark with me on an intimate exploration of CrossFit's role in personal transformation, where grit meets grace and sobriety clears the path to strength.
Donate to Nemours Children’s Health through Dewey Beach Championship below.
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This week we have Amy Broccoli returning to the show to tell us more about her journey through sobriety. Amy has used the power of the CrossFit community to help her stay great full and strong on her hardest days. Embark with me on an intimate exploration of CrossFit's role in personal transformation, where grit meets grace and sobriety clears the path to strength.
Donate to Nemours Children’s Health through Dewey Beach Championship below.
https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/secure.qgiv.com/event/dv2024deweybeachchampionship/account/1756523-Hungrydog__;!!G6MNE2S8Nw!nV-7_Ww5dxmxBkmANrVbDp2V0Z4zJ4JGxxTu-W9a8_Vz7rmIMP7Su2jVxOJbHc7w0nzvJxnHed7-xvEh-9r5TOT3aRsk$
you know, I do love the sport. I always have loved the sport. It's what brought me to weightlifting, right? Um? I never would have picked up a barbell if it wasn't for CrossFit, um, but there's so much more to it that we can get into that I just love about, I love the sport and I also love CrossFit as what it's meant to do and that's to help change people's lives and to get to be a part of all. That is like something that's really been on my mind a lot lately. Um, as far as being, you know, part of this change for people and getting to just be maybe a small part of their story. But you know, down the road they're living 10 years longer, they're picking up their grandkids you know what I mean Like all that stuff that I can kind of see because of social media, right?
Speaker 1:Um, and I get to be a small part of that and that's something I don't take lightly, um so I try to do my best to keep up on what's new and you know um everything that's CrossFit and then, of course, you know the sport of it. I just love, I love, I've. I think I started going to watch regionals in person back when it was in Boston. Oh, yeah, yeah, the Northeast, yeah when it was outside, so like it was like ground roots, like matt frazier didn't, like it was like his first regionals and we're all like, wow, this guy's kind of good, right yeah yeah that's exactly what, like the buzz was, but we're like, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe he needs to work on his fitness a little bit and then he becomes like the fifth, you know, like five time world champion, but um. So I've been watching people, you know, move and the sport elevate, especially the female side. Um, and I went last year to Orlando and for me, the thing that, like, is just always the most amazing thing is that that person that is in last place, or that team that's in last place how fit they are and how they bodies, and how amazing it is to watch even like the last heat, the last team, like watching them do what they do, it's just one of the coolest things ever. Like they push boundaries and knowing how hard it is to get there too, you know, is something that is definitely something that lights my passion too.
Speaker 2:Um for sure, that's awesome I think that uh some of the like the. The biggest separator between like semi-final level athlete and like the fittest people in all of our affiliates worldwide is like. Those people are willing to push past. Like the hurt so far, you know, like just day after day being so much pain while you're training day the fun stuff has gone out the window a long time ago for them, you know and the little things too right, that aren't so little right.
Speaker 1:The stuff, the stuff that's not fun to put on social media, the you know the extra work, the small changes in your movement patterns once you've learned a skill, or you know practicing that skill over and over and over again. You know. So, whether it's weightlifting, gymnastics, monostructural, any of that you know, and that's just the cool part of it is like, well, it's even like you come in and do a 45 minute or hour class and like to put it into perspective. It's like, wow, that's kind of amazing, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like this is what I did today. This is what this person has had to have done today to make it to where they are.
Speaker 1:It's crazy when you can put it perspective like that so I think was I pretty newly sober last time I was on Right, so it's been a couple of years right Since I've been on, I think it was.
Speaker 2:I think you were just over a year or just under a year, something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, yeah. So I was still in the thick of it. Like that first year is like whoa, you know. Like that that's like I really gave myself grace. Um, I had just stopped weightlifting like about three months into my sobriety and I was coming back to CrossFit and um, just wow, and I kind of did both. I kind of was still lifting and then doing some Metcons, um, got roped into doing some competitions but you know, I was like man, I'm just not in shape for this, but whatever, it was fun. I was with my friends. Um, but you know, and that was really when I would kind of just let myself eat. Like I have always been pretty disciplined in my nutrition since probably I started weightlifting. Really, um, I know what my body likes, but like I would let me like cookies, like that wasn't my thing, like if.
Speaker 1:I felt overwhelmed. I would eat a cookie, you know. And so while I'm trying to kind of get back in shape, I gave myself that grace and then I reeled it back in because I last year did the open, because you know I'm a coach and you know we have a pretty big community that does the, even though we're a fairly new gym. We really love the open. It's such a great time. We have really hard workers at our gym, so it's good for them. So obviously, as a coach, I'm walk that walk and I kind of snuck into like the quarterfinals. Um, because there was a lift I think it was a thruster and I was like all right it's about last year 2023 yeah, yeah, awesome, yeah, yeah, which is awesome.
Speaker 1:um, and then I did really well in the quarterfinals and I'm like you know what, like that I do enjoy being competitive, I do. I remember kind of like who I was, cause you get lost, right, you. You you kind of mourn who you were, um, as someone that drank and did all that. Well, there was mostly bad, there's some good right, like that you've had fun, and like it wasn't all like you know, terrible. It was just like the repercussions, obviously, um, so I was like like yeah, and it lit a fire and I was like you know what I'm?
Speaker 1:gonna do this like I'm gonna really start just training crossfit um. You know we follow the jump ship program are you familiar?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, a little bit of a different theory. So we do a lot of metcons and then lift, so that took me a little while to get used to just lifting under so much fatigue. Now I love it. Now I can't even imagine like not doing it that way. Um, and it got me pretty fit and I really didn't like I had a little little setback with a little minor thing going on, um, right right around October and it's kind of we're. It's almost better now. But, um, I really, truly.
Speaker 1:And that's when I really started to like not eat fast food Not that I eat a ton of fast food and I stopped eating the cookies I'll have them every once in a while because I love them but like, not as like a crutch kind of. So what I did? Like I noticed it's kind of how my brain works, but I noticed that it had been like I was always good for like a Wendy's cheeseburger every once in a while, right, like, kind of like I loved it, like. But I started to notice, after I would eat it, how it feel during a workout, you know, and I could feel myself just kind of like going a little slower and I'm like it's fine. Like you know I never tell people like you should never just cut things out if that's not for you.
Speaker 1:But when I was year and I now I'm on like almost a year and a half of like no fast food and I tell, like you said, you start. It has nothing really to do with, like how I look. My weight will fluctuate a little bit and I'm okay with that. It's more about how I feel in workouts and how I'm performing to what to get to my goals. Right, you're not going to knock out a workout every time you go into the gym, um, but so it kind of correlates to what you were saying. Like once you find what your body doesn't like and you kind of keep it away, you'll start to notice in the gym and like, cause you're like fighting back? Like if you're just weightlifting and then fighting back to get into like CrossFit shape is it's difficult, right?
Speaker 1:Like you said you have to kind of be willing. We have to be willing to hurt. Yeah, and you're carrying more muscle. Your body moves differently. Not all bad right, you're gonna move better, but it's like it's hard.
Speaker 1:But it's so rewarding in the same sense. You know, like man, when you can feel yourself getting fitter and there's not a ton of markers yeah, you might crush a workout that you you didn't do, but like, you'll really start to feel like obviously you start to push yourself more but you start feeling that and that's when it starts to get really rewarding. Like it is, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's super hard. Where did you start getting that idea? Was it like before quarterfinals or after, where you're like all right, I'm going to dive like fully into this.
Speaker 1:It was last year after quarterfinal I came in like I don't know. I surprised myself. I can't remember like 300, something you know and I'm like oh yeah, I'm like all right, you know.
Speaker 1:And then they kind of announced like okay, top 200, I'm like all right, like, and the margins are so small when you get to like like in the masters, so they take um I'm sure you know this, but someone listening that doesn't um, they take the top 200 to semi-finals now and obviously that could change next year. But like, that's an awesome goal, even though.
Speaker 1:I'm not at my finals athlete yet, but I could take, you know, strive to get there. Um, skills aren't quite that high yet. Um, everything else is kind of catching up. But I was like, but the margins from like 50 to 400 in the masters are so small, so it could be like one more clean and jerk in the clean and jerk workout, or 15 more wall balls, like so, something like that. Or or, like you know, three more box step ups, which I know that's I should maybe use that, maybe three more snatches we'll use you know, right, you know, but um it, that's how small they are.
Speaker 1:But that kind of excites me because it's like it's kind of anyone's game. And I ended up coming like two, two, 90, 295th this year. So I was like all right, so like I'm there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, chop, it down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, that's super cool. So how did the open go over there, like outside of just your performance, like, uh, the three weeks? How did the workouts go for, like your affiliate, do you guys do?
Speaker 1:the Friday night lights Do?
Speaker 2:you guys have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we did so the year before. We did like three teams. Um, we do themes every every week. Um, we have so many new people to CrossFit that they don't quite always understand like what the open is. But like that, we kind of just like so you're going to sign up, you're going to pay $20. And they're like okay.
Speaker 1:But they love the themes and they go all out and like we, you know the banter back and forth, so it was like Aaron and I against each other. So you know they love it when, like, we're pretend fighting, you know like you know and and um, but it was really fun and I'm always just impressed by how good they are, because they don't know it which?
Speaker 1:is awesome right, like we had um gosh, I think we had 70 people sign up, I think this year don't quote me, I could be like, give me a little margin there but like, yeah, and we've only been open two years and just like, they just all work so hard and you know, our programming really got them ready for this year. Um, or, you know, it's a good, challenging program but at the same time, it's very, very doable for anyone. Like we have people that we have, you know, 14 year olds and 61 year old I think this is the oldest we have now Um, so, and everyone you know just did amazing, like, and they come in and they work hard and and I say that to Aaron all the time you know I've been around CrossFit for a while and I said it's funny because they don't even know they're working hard. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:They kind of like come in and just all go, you know so hard, and I'm like, wow, this is so cool. Like sometimes we're like, okay, you know this, today we're not going to lift as heavy, and they're all like what? Or like we're going to pull back just a little bit in this Metcon, this is just a just move on, and they're like, okay, but yeah, so it's, it was. It's as a coach man, the clipboard counting, just like watching people just exceed their expectations pretty cool yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2:I mean 70 people with two years of experience in the gym and, like, I want to tell us what you just said right there, like about most of people not even knowing that it's the process to qualify for the crossfit games. Right, I have this theory that the open would perform at its best, like truly be maximized, if it becomes separated from being the first step to the crossfit games. I think that I think that it would truly exist as the best thing for crossfit if the open was separate from the first stage. You know like it's. It's still just our yearly checkup, it's our yearly physical for everyone out there that does crossfit they can participate in. Um, ideally, you would also have games athletes participate, but the crossfit games is going to start somewhere else.
Speaker 1:You know like right, or like it like a separate. Maybe I guess that'd be more for them to do, but like still have the games athletes, like promote it and maybe do the announcements and do the workouts maybe, but like give them a different funnel to get, you know, to the next level.
Speaker 2:Uh, or I mean, you just look at, like what savon did uh savon and all those dudes with the kill taylor every week in the quarter finals.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I was, I was invested in that, you know like, it doesn't have to be just games, athletes only that are doing the workouts that we can follow along with. For us to be invested If it's people that we have like some sort of like even online relationships with, you know like, or they have people coming on from the community, regular people going on there and trying to go like virtually one on one. Like that, right there is proof positive that like we could get investment in the community without there having to be like Rich Fronings, matt Frazier's and Tia's at the head of something.
Speaker 1:Right and and, honestly, my husband watches it with me.
Speaker 2:Loves it.
Speaker 1:Now he's CrossFit by default and he'll go to the stuff with me and he's done it a couple, you know a couple of years here and there, but obviously like, but we watch it, like it's something we watch together because it is so awesome, it's so funny, um, you know, like just the camaraderie.
Speaker 1:and then, like this week, you know the guy beating taylor, but watching all their reactions and like just giving people an opportunity to giving them that platform, to be like, you know, to get the community involved, and I think that could. You're right, I think that really could create more of an outreach, or even like what they did for quarterfinals, you know, got some other people watching, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's the next level of what the CrossFit games used to do like with the open announcements where they would have a heat of like regular people go. It's the next level of that, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and I think getting more creative in that realm because there's so many, there's like the possibilities really are endless, right, getting people to understand the difference between CrossFit as a sport and CrossFit as a methodology is super important. You know, you never want to water down because CrossFit isn't easy, but it, man, it's effective, right, um, and I think the biggest thing, I there's two things, but I think for me as a coach, like the community is so important. You know you could go and you could do these workouts pretty much anywhere, right, um, but what I see is people stepping up for each other and when you take a step back, right, you create this community, you kind of let it grow and mold and you hope that it turns into this amazing thing and just it really has. Where we're at here, um, and just, you know if something, if someone has a baby, people are like, hey, we'll help you do this. Or if someone you know maybe is not going through the best time and they're like, maybe going through a divorce, they have somewhere to go that people are like, hey, we got you. Um, or you know, people are stressed out with their jobs and they come in for that hour and they're just, they're next to the person you know they're. They're all doing burpees together or you know, and that does help, um, you live longer, right?
Speaker 1:You know, my mentor commented on one of my stories, um, and she just said I love the fun you guys have, and it was just like us being goofy. And I said we really do have fun. And she said I love that, amy, as healthy and as strong as you are, nothing equals longevity more than community and laughter. You have it all. So, you know, even someone that doesn't CrossFit she doesn't really understand what it is she was able to see that like, and that's so profound to me, like it is true, you know, even on my darkest days, when I really truly would have probably just stayed in the house, I drove myself to the gym because I knew that someone would be there, whether I ever I probably never even knew I was having a bad day, but like just knowing that they're there, right, and having that.
Speaker 1:So that's why I do think the price point for CrossFit should be what it is and be expensive. Um, you get really good quality coaching, you have that community and then obviously you get healthy right, like I can't tell you how many people have told me. Like one of our guys just got back from the cardiologist and he's like you're healthier than you've ever been and he's 47, you know, like it does work. It works on all of that. You know, and I think that can that we lose sight of that sometimes when we get caught up in the competitive side, because that I love it as a sport too, right. But when you look at it at that baseline level of methodology and what it can do for people's lives, it really is pretty profound and I think that's the message that can get lost sometimes in what we do, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's like this debate right now. I don't think that we should let go of the Forged Elite Fitness tagline, because that is what a lot of people can be in charge of. Your health allows you to to make that choice. You can't forge the fitness without having elite health. You know like you need to be on one side to go to the other side.
Speaker 1:You know you know right, there's nothing wrong with people trying to have elite health. Like you know, there is a lot that's in our control. Um, this is probably one of my favorite stories and I'll always carry this with me. But one of our members now he's in his 40s, um, him, and he started coming with his daughter, who's maybe she was 14 at the time. Um, and you know, I started to get to know him and you know, and one day he's like yeah, yeah, he's like I recently quit smoking and I'm like you smoked you know, like it's just like one of those things that you don't you know.
Speaker 1:he's like, yeah, he's like I smoked and then I turned, you know, went to vape, but now he's like he kind of got like a little more. He's like I kind of this is life-changing for his entire family. Well, his entire family now comes to the gym. So I think it's like that is the forging elite fitness, forging elite families. There's nothing wrong with taking control of your health and making it a priority, and that's the vessel that CrossFit is.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah. That's what it's really supposed to be a vessel so that you can acquire all the things that you want in your life. It's that's what's really supposed to be at the root of everything you know.
Speaker 1:Yep yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:I was going to say tell us about, like, how your sobriety has affected the rest of your life. How, how are you like going? Through emotions and everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, yeah. So, like all that you have to learn again, right, like learning how to like, when you get stressed out, how to deal with that, and you know those coping mechanisms that I didn't have. Um, you have to learn again and I think when you go through that process you become so strong, um, there is so much strength in sobriety that I didn't even know I had. And I'm not talking about, like, lifting weights, I'm talking about, like you know, we've all been through our thing fair share of stuff in our lives and you know you cope with it the best you can. Um, but having the clarity that I have now is the best gift I ever gave myself.
Speaker 1:Um, so worth all that first year of you know, like you go, you know you mourn kind of who you were, like that fun party girl that you know I had kind of just become and attached to my identity to, was gone and you know, and I was like, well, you know you go through all that like I'm never going to go on a vacation again or like how am I going to have fun doing that? And man.
Speaker 1:I have so much more fun now I just go to bed a lot earlier, like you know. I've gone to weddings and I've had the best time, you know, like just so much fun and it's so worth it and I think, truly being present with my family and being present in moments and being able to soak it in good, bad ugly, great, exciting, you know all of it and then being able to kind of deal with that and then wake up the next day and be like, wow, this is, this is really. This is really amazing, you know. And then I just recently went and got some blood work done. Um, and I was a little. This is really, this is really amazing, you know. And then I just recently went and got some blood work done. Um, and I was a little. I was like I wonder I've, I've had this story in my head of like you know, you don't deserve, like you don't always feel worthy, right, like you're going to get sober, and then like you did so much damage and you're not going to be healthy.
Speaker 1:But I got my blower back and I was like, well, look at that, I'm healthy, I'm very healthy actually, you know. And I'm like so, one, it's never too late. And two, it's never too soon, um, to make a big change like that. And, as scary and terrifying as it is, I'm telling you, on the other end is just like freedom, if that makes sense. And like you are going to lose friends that are people you thought were friends and people aren't going to like, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:That's hard to um, you know, but at the end of the day then you start to make and create relationships that are so real, if that, you know, makes any sense. So maybe there's nothing wrong. People have always have a purpose in your life and there's nothing wrong with the people that came along to party with you. That's what their purpose was, um, but to have these real um relationships that just you know, kind of fill your life too, has been just such a blessing. And I think, like I recently, like people will always say to me like oh, that's so awesome, or you're awesome, and I'm like I don't thrive with that, like I kind of pushed, like put up a wall a little bit, because I'm like oh no.
Speaker 1:I mean, really, how am I awesome? But then, like the other day my friend looked at me. She goes you really like you really should be proud of yourself, and that kind of just played in my head of like well, maybe I should be like you know. You know I struggle with pride a little bit, like I try not to have, you know, have that be something that is in my life, but like wow, like taking a second to just be like wow. You know, we kind of did this. And I say we because, like I lean on God through everything I do. So like I've never been alone, um, and I'm like and really kind of stepping into who I felt like I was meant to be.
Speaker 1:That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, in the beginning for you because, like you're so far in now, like what were some ways that you dealt with the anxiety and triggers and things that would kind of lead you to, um, like poor coping mechanisms. And how does that evolve, like as you've gone through?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's like man, like you look back and you're just like I laugh, but I'm like, hmm, like I took a lot of naps. You know what I mean? I really did I would kind of just retreat and be like, all right, I just need to take a nap. Um, you, I did kind of just retreat and be like all right, I just need to take a nap. Um, you, I did kind of seclude myself in the sense of like kind of just wrapped myself in my new world of like just gym. You know, I was still doing red Panda. Um, I still had a lot on my plate. So and that was the one thing too, like I forget that I did.
Speaker 1:I pulled back everything. You know, I was a nutrition coach, I was a weightlifting coach, I coached at the gym, I coached young athletes. Like I had this all and I realized, I think I was trying to fill my plate because, like my insides were kind of empty as far as like when I was drinking. And then when I kind of started to heal, I was like, wait, I need to pull back because I need to really truly step into what my next step is. But with all this noise I'm not going to find it. So I really pulled back. I still like a more a hundred percent bought into, you know, crossfit fee here in Sewell, but and that's just the most, I love it, I do. I love it, like, when I'm gone I miss it, like you know. I just it's just a really awesome job. Um, and you know it, I really, like I said, I ate a lot of cookies. I'm trying to think. I did a lot of journaling. Um, I read the Bible. I'd read books.
Speaker 1:um, no self-help books, because that just wasn't where you know I would get to them and I'd just be like, yeah, no, I'm books. Because that just wasn't where you know I I would get to them and I'd just be like, yeah, no, I'm not there yet or I don't have the capacity to understand even what I'm reading. So, more you know, like just super easy, you know mystery books. That's probably what I did. Um, yeah, and then I started to rebuild my life.
Speaker 1:I think, like you know, my first concert, because I love concerts. I've been going to concerts probably fifth grade, you know, learning, and I have been to them sober before, because, like I, you know, I maybe have a weightlifting meet the next week or something. But like learning that again and realizing how much fun I was having in those moments and being present, you know, and then each, I think, just showing up every single day, like all right, we're going to deal with whatever we have to face today and tomorrow's a new day, and we're just going to literally, I know it's so cliche, but it's one day at a time.
Speaker 2:Literally.
Speaker 1:Literally, and it's very similar to CrossFit one rep at a time. Pick up this dumbbell, I'm going to do you know'm do one more rep, because that's going to just get me to where I want to be, you know, and it's just like one more day getting up. Um, you definitely go through some like physiological changes too.
Speaker 1:Um, like you know, you have like dreams that you were drinking again, or you know, all that stuff, um, but I think, and I think I had seen you at um, your competition, and I was like I was when I hit 900 days. It was very emotional and I wasn't really ready for that and I don't know why. Like I don't know if it's just the concept of wow, I spent 900 days sober, wow, and I'm like pretty good, good, right, like why that number of all the like milestones that you kind of I was gonna ask you do you have any like mental milestones?
Speaker 2:because like there's the one, I think that was it.
Speaker 1:I apparently that I didn't even know I had, because when I got to know I just started crying. I was like, oh my god, I did it like 900 days. Like you know y'all, they always say 90 days, like you can do 90 days, you should be good, but man, it's still like six months. I was like I don't know about this.
Speaker 2:You know like I'm still doing it yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like still going through it, you know, um, but and then you know also everyone else getting used to me, you know, being sober, because that was new for them too, including my family. Um, I think you know my older son had the party mom. My younger son has a sober mom. So they really there's six and a half years apart. They really do have two different moms, you know, and neither one is better than the other. It's just like I think my older one was kind of, you know, a little resistant because that's the mom he knew. Right now he's one of my biggest supporters, right, um, and hopefully I can lead for them and show them that you can have an amazing life without having alcohol in it yeah, that's amazing and and like.
Speaker 1:If you want to drink like that's why I tell people all the time I'm, it doesn't offend me. If I like get overwhelmed, I leave, which is a beauty, and I've become so strong in that too. I was recently away and we were waiting for our table and they wanted to sit in the bar. It was crowded and I was like. I just smiled because I was like I can go sit outside, Right.
Speaker 1:I don't have to be in here, I will. When they call our table, I will come in. I'm going to go sit outside and enjoy the beautiful sunset that's happening right now. And I'm fine, like I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I just don't have to be here anymore, and that I think learning those things has been so freeing, like wow, like you can just step outside or you don't have to go or you can leave, and a lot of times I'm like half the time they won't even remember I left, so sometimes I just leave you know, right, it's just like that's great, I mean
Speaker 2:you've developed those tools for yourself to be able to cope with. That's the whole everything that we're talking about right now, you know.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, for sure. And, and you know it's definitely it's now become more so ingrained that I don't even think about it anymore. You know, I would drink kind of those non-alcoholic beers because I thought I missed it. But then I kind of realized I'm like I don't know if I even really like those. Like they're great, like the company did a good job, they taste real. I was like, am I just drinking them? Because like that's what you did. And then I'm like, yeah, I don't even miss that and like it's kind of freeing to be like I don't need any of that.
Speaker 2:Like I could just be present. Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, drink glass of water, cause you know that's what I like to drink.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think what you're talking about before like with the pride and not wanting to have that be a big motivator and a big part of your life. Man, it's like so many people they deal with like survivor's remorse or something that's attached to that. You know, like, as the person that was able to get out, it's hard to like look at yourself and you feel that shame. You know, like, when you are able to get back to clarity because now you have emotions involved with everything, again, you're letting yourself be open to feeling the good and the bad, you know, right, um, but, man, we have to like allow the space for people to congratulate us, because yeah they are sharing in our successes because they are dealing with something on their own that they're like okay, okay, I need some of their strength to be able to deal with this, you know.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Because I deal with that too, man. Like just not acknowledging for so long substance abuse issues and all the different things that like, like you have to allow other people the space to be like.
Speaker 1:Okay, I need some of your strengths, you know, yeah, and, and I think too that's, you know, people are all they're watching, right, and some are cheering and some are just like wow, okay, I knew her when you know X, like when she was in her twenties, and like oh, she's really doing it and like maybe I could. Or you know, I do have a lot of people message me, um, or you know, they feel the need when we're out because they want to talk about it and be like well, you know, I really cut back and you know, and I'm like it's almost like confession, right.
Speaker 1:I'm like you know, my face may look like I'm judging, but I swear to you I'm not. I'm probably thinking about I don't know the fact that I got a full laundry tomorrow, you know, like that's where my that's actually probably what I want to do.
Speaker 2:Parent back on something like that Exactly.
Speaker 1:What's the workout tomorrow? You know, um, do I have to run? Um, but yeah, you know, and and being, you know, learning, my newest thing is learning how to listen, because my brain is so like now it's kind of like pretty healed and like moving fast. I moved fast before, but now, like, I'm like I get excited and I start to talk and like talk over people and I'm like, no, no, no, I didn't mean to be rude or like, just maybe sometimes people just need to be heard, you know. And so I'm really trying to learn how to do that Like and and really like, okay, if Amy, if someone comes up to you and wants to talk about it, just talk about it. Like you know, they do that with fitness too, people that you know. Like they know I work at a gym. Oh, I really have been meaning to work out. I'm like it's okay.
Speaker 1:You know like it's kind of like. I really think it would be great, like, do what you can do, like go for a 10 minute walk. That's working out. You know like it's, you know like. But again, people want to be seen, heard and you know and I think that as a coach is such a good skill to have is being able to hear people when they talk, and slow down and let there be a little bit of silence Sometimes when you're conversing, maybe not on a podcast, but when you're conversing in and kind of reading them and you know being there for them.
Speaker 1:And if they want to talk about drinking, that's great, like we could do it.
Speaker 1:Like, and you know I hold back a lot too because, like, you never want to point a finger at someone, especially if they're struggling, Right, um, but if I'm always like, well, if you want to know, like people that work hard in the gym, when you go, and you know you drink all weekend, you really are making your body just have to work overtime, right, double time, especially females like, especially the girls that are coming in and they're like I want to build muscle, I'm like, okay, well, like I'm not saying don't, but like maybe cut back because it's going to affect your systems, Right, and they're like, oh okay, like the people just don't even know that, not like you have to have a problem to cut back on your drinking, and I think that's a message too. That's really important is whether whatever you know you're doing, you know are your habits aligning to what your goals are, and you know there can be balance. I unfortunately don't have that skill. I tried for years and it's just not there for me. So like I have to cut it out and I'm way better because of them healthier.
Speaker 1:You know I'm not going to list all the things to people like, okay, well, you know alcohol can cause cancer, but nobody talks about that. Like I'm not going to sit there and rattle that off, but if they ask I'll tell them. You know.
Speaker 2:Like hey, that is you know something that people just don't know? Yeah, I love what you said about like never be the person that they want to point a finger yeah, you know, like you just can't.
Speaker 1:Like you can't and because you know it's their journey. Um, it's hard, it's scary. It's probably more scary than people talk about, right, for all the reasons I listed, but like you're letting go of something that was there for a long time, as you know, and I do, you know. I do feel like society does promote that right. Like you know, the mommy wine culture, the um binge drinking, or like the beer clot, you know and that's one of the most like, openly accepted ways for adults to like convene. Right.
Speaker 2:Like almost every adult scenario, has alcohol involved in it.
Speaker 1:Right, right and like, and that's like okay, but it's also like people. You know it is part of our culture. So like to you are going to be different. Right, and that's not easy, you know. I think my whole life I've kind of been like that. You know I was a redheaded, freckle face kid Like you're just different, right, like it's just what?
Speaker 1:like it's, you know, but I've kind of gone on that track. You know I was a athlete, you know. But I've kind of gone on that track. You know I was a athlete, you know I was kind of like I had different groups of friends because like I, you know, kind of fit in like different. You know different places in my life and I moved a lot. I moved a lot so I was the new kid so like I'm kind of used to being in. Yeah, so to add this to my resume was like maybe not as scary as it could be for someone. That's never been. That that you know, because you will get asked questions, you will. You know people will. When you first, oh, you're not gonna do that forever, right, like just a break, or you're not an alcoholic Cause, like then that would mean that they could potentially be right.
Speaker 1:And that's a big one it is a big one and it's like, well, yeah, you know I am, I can't just have a glass of wine. It just doesn't happen, you know. And and it's okay, like it doesn't make me a bad person, just makes me this part of my story. And you know, I there is this misconception of like what people picture as what someone should look like if they're an alcoholic. But man, there's a lot of us out here that look very normal and live very normal lives, that just you know, come home and drink a bottle of wine, yeah.
Speaker 2:And a lot of times it's just like you know, like, what do you want out of your life? Where are your priorities at right now? Right, like I know. When I was like, all right, dude, I really need to start fucking, uh, eating better. Like go on a diet, it's like, or aka stop eating and drinking like an asshole. The two big things that really hit me was like all right, like, what are my priorities for the next three months, six months and a year? Right, like it is. It's like, and being my fittest self is like one of those things like it or it leads to all the goals I want to accomplish. And then, number two been listening to andrew hiller and he's like, if you're not watching what you're eating, you're not a real crossfitter. I'm just like ah, he's right, I know you know, like that, just uh, whatever, fuck it.
Speaker 1:I guess you gotta do it, you know whenever I feel twisted about something it's, I usually do a real quick gut check, like probably because you know that something you need to hear, amy, you know?
Speaker 1:or like yeah and I'm always like. That's also something where I'm like, where before I kind of fire off and be like, no like, and then I'm like why do you feel this way, amy? Well, probably because they're right. You know you need to change and you know it is. You know it is okay to want to be your fittest self, like and I think sometimes people don't need permission. It's okay to stop drinking, it's okay to take a break, and that's what I tell people. I'm like you don't, like you might be able to take six months off but really learn about yourself, and then you could go have your glass of wine or you could like it doesn't like my story doesn't have to be your story and your story doesn't have to be the next person's, but like, if it's something you're constantly questioning, then try it Right.
Speaker 1:Like, just try it, try six months of your life and like, then, you know, maybe reevaluate, give your body time to heal you know, it's like, I think, when you look at the science of what alcohol can do to your body and how it can, really, you know it, it can permeate the cells in your brain, versus like it doesn't just go through our digestive system, so it can have some long, longer, lasting effects. And I'm not talking about someone that has a couple of drinks, right, but it's more kind of status quo to go out Friday night and have six drinks and maybe then go Sunday because you're kind of or Saturday cause you kind of feel like crap, you're like might as well go have another drink.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's where it starts to have health effects, right, um, but yeah, so it's definitely something that people are very curious about and I I don't mind now being that person that can show them, you know, life can be really full. That doesn't mean it's rainbows and like listen right, like I just talked about some really dark days, like really dark, and like questioning why you even do this. Is it worth it? You know, screw it. Or that little voice that says you're not an alcoholic right.
Speaker 1:That little like, which causes a lot of relapses, because we think, we know, and especially once you start to feel better, you kind of forget. Like I was perpetually hung over for about a year when I was like I really truly feel, felt I kept thinking I'm like, wow, man, I'm not drinking, but I still feel kind of over my body just getting used to the new way. So, yeah, it's definitely worth it for sure. Yeah, on yourself.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of stuff man is like. Even when you do start to get the clarity back in your brain I really love how you put that you start to ask yourself like who do? I think I am Like I've done so much already. This is the life that I deserve, based off of my actions.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, like that is, yeah, take you backwards. Oh, a hundred percent, like like that almost imposter syndrome to your sober self, like it. Yes, and that's just like kind of the downside slope of addiction, right, our brains are so powerful in everything that they do.
Speaker 1:I mean they, they run our beautiful bodies right, like how amazing of a system we have here and you know, but they also, conversely, have all this power over our decisions and what you know, our personalities and what happens next and all man like the questions and the you know the deep, dark places that like are just like nah, you're not worth it, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and that's why I'm always like it's okay to want more, it's okay to want to be your fittest self. It's okay to try a diet, say, obviously with as long as you're healthy. If that makes your body feel okay, man, that's great. You know, like, and you stay healthy. That doesn't mean you know gym down the street needs to do that one, but like, don't ostracize people for trying. And I think that comes with maybe a little bit of our social media and our culture. Right, this way is right. This way is not this way. You know, and all the misinformation that's out there, and I think that she's a hard stance man.
Speaker 2:That's what everyone's on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly Die on this hill. But you know, so, yeah, and I think, yeah, I definitely had some pretty major things happen in the last couple of years. So my coping mechanisms were tested, um for sure. Um, but coming out of the other side, like the end of last year, wasn't great at all and I was very lost and I was just like man, kind of feeling like all those negative emotions we were talking about. And I really did some work, I dove in and I um I just finished, actually, I read the Bible in 90 days, which it took me like a hundred, which is very intense, um, from start to finish, cause I was like man. I have this free resource for me, um to really dive into my faith, and it's been life-changing for, like, completely life-changing I can't even like I don't have the words for it quite yet Humbling, very humbling, you know really. You know searching my heart and seeing the things that really I need to work on and change where I'm accountable for the words that come out of my mouth and how important words are.
Speaker 1:I think that was one of my biggest like. The tongue is so powerful. So, as a coach, and like your coach, like anyone listening to this, as a coach, just remember that right. Like, there are things that, depending on who you're coaching, whether it's even your elite athletes, they're human. Like your words carry so much weight, you know. So being mindful of how we speak to each other is so important and I think that tool.
Speaker 1:In these last five months I've grown more in so many ways that I really honestly don't even have words for like yeah it's been, it's it's one of the most profound things I've ever done and it was like I also enjoyed the discipline of it. I love discipline. I just thrive in that. Like I try to be like more like loose and like, okay, I'm just not going to have a schedule, but then I'm just like I actually do really good in that. Like you know, getting up every morning and spending 45 minutes, that was like my job, like that's kind of what I the way I took it Right and like really diving in and like spending all that time really reading it, cause I never read it front to back, I always read pieces.
Speaker 1:You know I studied it in school and college and you know but to and I've read it the whole thing. Like you can do a plan that it took a year but you kind of jump back and forth because it can be very it can be very dark, right, like there's this, like there's a lot, it's humanity. But I also started to notice things about myself and my family and how I treat the people that are closest to me and like really truly learning how to love every human you know, meeting them where they're at and understanding what love means. Love can mean discipline, like with my children, meeting them where they're at and understanding what love means. Love can mean discipline, like with my children, with my athletes, with some of the people that are in my life. Like you know it, it's definitely made me a much better coach and I'm kind of excited to see, like where I go now as far as my coaching.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. So, like with that in mind and actually before I even say that you talk about, like in the last few months you went through like a lot of mental setbacks and roadblocks you had to go over. Those are the moments that you're growing right. Yeah, with all that in mind, like what's next for you? What are you hungry for? Like what do you have planned?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I definitely am very, very passionate about getting women to strength train Um, there's just so much. So I'm actually taking I do have a good amount of certifications. I enjoy learning Um, but this one I'm excited about Um and it's just like the women's coaching specialist um, strictly about the physiology of women and I really like that.
Speaker 1:They have um, you know, studies that are just based on women, which is so cool because it's sometimes hard to find um and teaching and as they get into menopause, because the more research that happens, um, and then what they're finding is the more muscle mass you have heading into that stage of your life and everyone kind of enters it at a different. There's no like okay, when you hit 45, this is going to happen, but it's unavoidable. But there are things that you can do in your lifestyle leading up to those years that are just going to help you minimize the symptoms. You know, it's one of those things that, just like you know our menstrual cycle that we're just kind of told to deal with. Well, no, actually now there's people forging all this amazing um information about how you can actually use it as a tool for training in the endurance world, in the sports world, like we used to do that at Red Panda.
Speaker 1:Um, you can train around that stuff. So that's kind of something that I have do have a lot of knowledge in, but I'm trying to get some more. So now I'm really focused on that. I should be done. It's a pretty intense. I think I my goal is to be done by the end of the summer, and then what I do with that I haven't quite decided. You know how I can reach the most women but not get burned out, because that's that's I mean, like it's a, it's an industry where you can really get burned out.
Speaker 2:Um, and I was burned out at the end of last year, I was done. I was. You don't want to sacrifice yourself in trying to help others, because then you can't maximize how many people you can help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think too I've learned I've been a coach a long time Right, and two things here that I think are really important. One people that we coached can put us on pedestals, and sometimes they forget we're human beings and we make mistakes, and I think I'm the first one to come to. You know, I'm not saying that every mistake is right Like. I'm human, I make mistakes all the time. I am like no one's perfect, and I think that respect needs to go both ways right, like as an athlete or as a member where you're being coached. Don't forget that that coach, while they're up there, they should take that role very seriously. They're still human beings. We make mistakes and we're flawed and we're learning. Just like you are, you know, and I think that's what keeps the good coaches that, because it's like obviously the barrier to entry to our world is pretty low, but the good ones stay long.
Speaker 2:Right, like, because the creep will rush to the top, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like it's such an art that there's not a class you can take, you just have to get your reps in right. Like you have to have the stuff happen where you have those athletes that you don't drive with or that you know, and on bad terms, or you know it's not what you thought it was going to be, the respect didn't go both ways. And that could happen to with a coach, to an athlete. Like obviously we hear that all the time. Like it's a very important role to play in people's lives. Um, I do take that very seriously, so I like to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can. Um, but I'll be the first to tell you if I don't know something, even weightlifting. Like that's why I think I love coaching weightlifting, cause it's like golf, it's like Ooh, someone's moving that way, what can I help them with? And then I'll be like you know, I see you the problem. I'm not quite sure how we're going to fix it.
Speaker 1:Yet I have access to a lot of people with a lot more knowledge than me. I'm going to find out. I will like, wow, they're kind of pulling early, but maybe that's just how their body works. But I really like to try this, you know, like, but it really is a guessing game, right? I mean, there's some things that you shouldn't do and that you should do, but you know, with someone that's been doing it for a while and and that for me just, uh, it lights me up. I'm just like, all right, we're going to figure it out.
Speaker 1:And then that's why I think I enjoy in-person weightlifting coaching a little bit more, because you can kind of see that like, okay, we're going to try this today, yeah, like. And then they're like all right, yeah, you know, and I was like no, it's not me, I swear, this is just stuff that's out there, you know, like it's just years of watching people move, um, that can help you do that. And and I think to being as humble as you can just like, hey, listen, I don't know, but I do see it right and we're gonna figure this out. Um, and if that coaching style doesn't work for you, man, there's plenty of other coaches that would love to have you yeah, I think putting together the puzzle pieces is like the most fun part about weightlifting.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, coming back, and if people out there are working with coaches that have a lot of like, this is the only way to do things. I think athletes like that flame out pretty quickly. You know, yeah, the absolutes it's not a hard rule, but that's just kind of how it goes.
Speaker 1:Yeah and and like too, I think and this is something that's happened to me maybe like three times in the last six months where someone's like what do you do for a living? And I used to downplay it, I used to be like I'm just a coach, and then, like I really started to dive into wow and Aaron and I talk about this all the time and it's set in the most humblest of ways, but like we get to be a help. People change their lives and we get to be a part of that that people change their lives and we get to be a part of that. That's really cool and honestly coaches should probably make a lot more money.
Speaker 1:right, we're helping people become healthy without being on medication, um, without doing anything too drastic. And then you know, really truly getting fit, and I think, like I was just, you know, down in Florida and you know, this older lady started talking to me and she's like oh, that, that's what you, that's all you do for a living. And you know I didn't get offended because I'm like she doesn't understand, but it really sat with me for a while and I'm like man, that's not I won't take the word just out of it Like I am proud to be a coach. I have spent years learning this craft. I have coached many different sports. Um, it all comes down to how you interact with people. But that role, if you look back, think about in your life, the people that have impacted you the most, you're probably going to say a coach somewhere.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:Right, so that role is so important you know, and I, like I said, the barrier to entry is easy. So like people downplay it and they're like, uh, you know, it's not a career and I'm like, well, I'm kind of proud of my career. I look back, like yeah, I'm not a CEO but like man, I've helped, I've man. I look back and I'm like I've seen, you know, relationships start turn into. Now I can see families. I've seen young women become doctors, nurses, mothers, wives, partners, like start families, you know, change like, invent things, like like how cool is it that I get to?
Speaker 2:be a part of that and I get to see that. Right, oh man, yeah, you get to watch. An influence doesn't have lives every day on a personal level, you know, not like first or second entry, like every day on a personal level you know, not like first or second injury, like right on a personal level.
Speaker 2:So it's amazing. So it's been another great conversation, man, and I'm super excited for you to continue on with learning and like I'm excited to see where you go with, like the mission to put more barbells in the hands of like women athletes all over the world and just help them strike to themselves, whether it be mind, body or spirit like that confidence man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like that's kind of where all roads are leading, leading for you right now, man, and I love that. I'm excited to watch journeys like that and I'm sure, once you announce something, once you get that next step on, like all right, this is what I want to do with this, like you'll be back on the podcast and we'll be sure. Helping you share.