Balancing Parenthood and Professional Growth: Clyde's Inspiring Journey

Have you ever wondered how dedicated parenthood can transform your professional journey? This episode brings you an inspiring conversation with Clyde, who transitioned from the construction field to a more refined career, driven by his commitment to being an emotionally and physically present father. Clyde shares intimate stories of his relationship with his own father, shedding light on the challenges of balancing demanding work and family life. His powerful narrative underscores that love and support at home can redefine success.

Uncover the path to self-discovery as I recount my varied career experiences—from fighting fires to managing construction projects—before finding true fulfillment in connecting with people. Through journaling, meditation, and deep self-reflection, I came to understand the energizing power of pursuing my natural talents. We discuss the pressures of societal expectations and the pitfalls of self-destructive behavior, emphasizing the importance of realizing one's potential on personal terms. Supporting others to become resourceful with their unique skills can lead to genuine empowerment and growth.

In this enriching episode, we also explore the metaphor of bowling as a framework for personal and professional development, likening guides in our lives to bumpers that keep us on track. We offer practical advice for young professionals on networking and stepping out of their comfort zones with confidence and curiosity. Delving into the nuances of communication and connection, we discuss the superpower of hyperfocus, the value of active listening, and the power of genuine engagement in networking. Join us to learn how to navigate career growth and build authentic relationships that foster success.

Connect with Clyde:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/clydereid/

Let Primo know youre listening:
https://depthbuilder.bio.link/

Get on the path to Becoming the Promise You are Intended to Be
https://www.depthbuilder.com/books

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What is going on? L&m family Welcome back. I have a pretty special interview with my buddy from my LinkedIn family member, my LinkedIn bud, Mr Clyde, hit me up and I missed the opportunity to have him on the show first because he recently came out on the Gaffers podcast, which was an awesome interview, and I'm going to get to talk to him. I just want to say like he's fresh perspective, different generation and what's exciting for me about having this conversation with Clyde he's going to change your mind. If you're hating on the younger generations, Clyde will change your mind. He's given me hope and enthusiasm.

Speaker 1: 0:42

But before we get into learning more about Clyde, I want to give a shout out to our L&M family member who sent this awesome or actually it was a post they made on LinkedIn. Christopher White says I just finished reading Jesse's wonderful book. It's a reflection on our human experience. He reminds us that there are moments in life that, at time, don't seem to catch our attention but carry us away in certain directions. Where do you want to go today? Right now is the moment to take that step in that direction, christopher. Thank you, brother. I really appreciate that. It's super, super meaningful. And, folks, the book he's talking about is Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be. You need to check it out. And also, if you're new here, we're going to talk about some tips, the tricks, the real truth around the unconventional path to success. It's not a straight line Over and over. My guests get to remind me that there are many pathways to success and I'm excited to hear how Mr Clyde has made that happen. Clyde, how you doing my brother, I'm doing wonderful.

Speaker 2: 1:51

Jesse, how are you?

Speaker 1: 1:53

Oh man, I'm living the life I'm, so blessed I've got nothing but gratitude. If I wanted to complain, I'm sure I got a million things to complain about, but it just ain't worth it.

Speaker 2: 2:02

There's always something, but it ain't worth it. You just smile and keep moving.

Speaker 1: 2:06

That's it, my man. That's it. And so you got to. I'm excited because, like you just had a big switch, a big transition I did. How are things in your world, my man?

Speaker 2: 2:16

Amazing. I've put myself in a place where I didn't think I would end up, didn't know it existed. It just seems that everything that I've been doing and the effort that I've put in it's coming through. I'm seeing it now and it's a huge motivation to be able to sit back and go. I did this. It wasn't luck, it wasn't anything.

Speaker 1: 2:37

I did it 10, 4. All right, so I'm going to dive all up into that, but before, what are the important juicy things that people need to know about you, mr Clyde, about?

Speaker 2: 2:49

me yeah, I'm a family man. I'm a dad. That's my biggest descriptor. Anybody asks me anything. They don't ask me what I do. I'm a dad. It doesn't matter what my work is, it doesn't matter what my life's like. What matters is the family and being a father. Yeah, everything else will fall into place, everything will be what it is, but that family is the most important to me. So juicy details, I don't know. All I know is I started from the bottom. Yeah, I started dirty, I started messy. I started in the field, boots, on the ground, learning. And now, look, I'm in a dress shirt.

Speaker 1: 3:30

I love it. So two things it's clear that being a father is a really important thing for you, and I know because I got to listen to your other interview. Thank you for that. Of course, man, you're welcome're welcome. Yeah, you see that dude that was, it was good stuff. It means a lot, and so weight, or the value that you place on being a father, how much of that is tied to the experience and relationship between you and your old man.

Speaker 2: 3:57

All of it, yeah, why well, the way I describe it to people is a lot of people look at role models and that's go well. That's what I'm going to run my life.

Speaker 2: 4:05

I'm going to run my life because this person was an excellent role model and they led me through the thick and the thin, showed me all the shortcuts, showed me life. I didn't have that. I learned what to do by seeing what not to do and I didn't have the family aspect that I wanted. So I don't know why, but I got that at an early age that there was a piece missing and it's hokey, it's corny, but there was many times in school where they asked me what are you going to do? And I'm like I just want to be a dad and a girl dad. I know that's a lot of things. A lot of guys are like I want this kid to be able to swing a baseball bat just like I did and stuff like that. I'm like I just want a little girl.

Speaker 1: 4:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:50

I just want love and I want to be able to give it and I want to be able to be what I didn't have, because, sure, I'm here now and, yeah, I've done well for myself, but what could it be? What could have been different if I had that? And I'm not letting my family go without that now 10-4.

Speaker 1: 5:08

So for clarity, I think I got from your other story that it's not like your father was absent, but the relationship or maybe his availability is what you're talking about in terms of I didn't have that. Am I off base?

Speaker 2: 5:24

No, you're not off base. There's the physical availability, and then there's the emotional availability. Construction industry is hard. It's 12 hour days. I used to wake up at five, six in the morning just to see my dad for half an hour while he sat there drinking coffee, watching the news, the breakfast news, and that was the time I had. And then he'd come home at night and he's tired. You've been chipping concrete, he's been riding on the side of a building in the sun baking all day, yep. So he comes home, he eats dinner, he starts a hockey game and he falls asleep by the second period.

Speaker 1: 5:58

That's that was family, that was regular day.

Speaker 2: 6:01

Yeah, yeah and yeah. So it was the emotional and the physical availability. He wasn't, he was a old school construction. That's what it is. And those old school guys, they don't realize that they're taking it home with them and how that affects them, and they took this attitude, this not misogyny, but this very alpha male construction, old school role, yep, and they come home and it's the same thing. So well, I've worked all day. Why am I gonna sit down with my kid? Yeah, I'm tired. Well, your kid wants you, so be there. And that lack of emotional availability really fueled my love and my desire to to that hole moving forward. It's that circle of trauma and it was the how do I put an end to it and how do I stop the recycling of all of the bad habits that has been passed down?

Speaker 1: 6:57

So you're breaking the cycle. That's what comes through. Is the experience that you had with your dad being committed to work and doing his definition of fatherhood was made it clear to you. That's not. You're going to have a different definition.

Speaker 2: 7:12

Yes, fatherhood in the construction industry is. I work hard, I'm going to come home and my day is done because I've worked hard today and that's not fair to anybody. So I want to break the cycle. I'm breaking the cycle at home with my family and my wife, but I want to break the cycle in the construction industry. I want to bang some heads together and let them know that there are things more important than your job.

Speaker 1: 7:37

Sure sure, and so, knowing that was a situation with your pops and it was the industry, I'm going to say it wasn't the only contributing factor, but a huge contributing factor the fact that he worked in the construction industry. Why did you pick the construction industry? I didn't.

Speaker 2: 7:57

I really didn't. So I went to school for firefighting, okay, and I thought I was one of those guys where I didn't know what I was going to do. Grade 12 hit and I'm like I've been having fun. I'm the social butterfly.

Speaker 2: 8:10

What the heck am I going to do? And the danger, all of that firefighting stuff really appealed to me. The life, the salary, the benefits, all of that stuff was like this is how I'm going to break the cycle, this is how I'm going to move. And then I opened my medical textbook in class. With blood and guts and people sticking their legs through windows, I went ghost watching. I will crawl, I will search and rescue, I'll crawl through whatever fire you want, but don't show me a hangnail, I'll pass out.

Speaker 1: 8:41

And I didn't know that I could do it to myself.

Speaker 2: 8:45

I've damaged myself many a times and look at it and laugh and show people. But as soon as somebody showed me, I was like this is not, I can't do this. Do I do it and possibly go ghost white and let somebody down or let somebody get injured? Or do I pivot? Yeah, I pivoted and a lot of the teachers in the college were firefighters. So they said, hey, while you're working this stuff out, get into the construction industry, because they like seeing the long work hours, the working on the elements, stuff like that.

Speaker 2: 9:17

So I spoke to my dad and I got a job. He was off at the time through an injury and I got on a swing stage and started up in the company that he was supervising for and took off From there.

Speaker 1: 9:29

Okay. So I think there's an important lesson there, right? I don't think I know. I think about like my path. This was back in the 1900s.

Speaker 1: 9:38

So when I graduated high school in 95. Yeah, I was one, you were were one. That is so awesome, that is just so awesome. And everyone around me told me and I thought I wanted to do it that I needed to be an engineer. I should be an engineer because I was good at math, this sort of thing. I didn't know what the hell engineers did like. I didn't even know what an engineer looked like. Now, fast forward to now, I would have failed miserably. I would have lost my mind or I would have caused everybody around me to lose their mind, because it's the environment, the conditions that work is done in, or the skill to do the work is done in is not suited for me. And so if you were going to advise another youngling coming out of high school that's kicking around ideas, or even out of high school kicking around ideas of what career to choose, what would you advise them in terms of making that selection or things to consider, as they're kicking that around?

Speaker 2: 10:42

So before that I would love to jump in on your little story. My father also told me to be an engineer. Ah, okay, he told me to be an engineer because in his line of work that was the cream of the crop. Yeah, when an engineer showed up on site he went that's a good life. Look at them, they must be making a lot of money. Go do that.

Speaker 2: 11:01

So that's where I was pushed from an early age. It was go be an engineer. I'd fail. I'd fail miserably, same as you. It's not my skill set, not the environment. I'm not the guy that wants to stare at a computer and read no, I do. Terrible.

Speaker 2: 11:16

But to answer your question, one of the things that I've recently figured out and recently learned and something I will be passing along and I hope everybody figures, figures this out is find out who you are. First I didn't know I was a firefighter, but then I wasn't. I was a construction laborer, but then I wasn't. I was a project manager and then I wasn't, and I never really took the time to sort myself out. So how did you Wife kid time to sort myself out? So how did you Wife kids, journaling, meditation, all of these things I've discovered in the past few years really helped me take a breath and take a step back, and because we're all the LinkedIn friends.

Speaker 2: 11:56

One of the things I did yesterday was I put up a post of what are your weaknesses and why are they weaknesses. Are they weaknesses Because in my post, everybody used to tell me I don't shut up. I was the kid that was friends with everybody. There was nobody that I couldn't make friends with. There was nobody that I couldn't build a relationship with. I was sitting by myself by the end of the year in every grade because they could not get me to stop talking to people and I always all my report cards. Everything is clyde never shuts up. Clyde is disturbing in class, clyde is this, clyde is that.

Speaker 1: 12:30

But I was on all the teams. I was all for the social connection is really a natural need for you. It's a natural hunger, yeah I didn't know.

Speaker 2: 12:40

I knew it, subconsciously I guess, but I didn't know that what makes me feel fulfilled is people. I had no idea. It always did fill the hole. I knew that subconsciously, but I wasn't aware of it. I did not make myself aware of it and a lot of thought, a lot of reflection went into it and I went what am I good good at? I was told I talk too much, but I'm really freaking good at it. Yes, I love it. What can I do? And I just started putting it in, just going what can I?

Speaker 2: 13:15

Linkedin was the way I went, and sales and client relations and stuff like that was so energizing to me and it just took me way too frigging long to figure that out. So I would love it if there's any takeaway. Is that young person that's maybe considering the construction industry or considering any other industries Breathe, figure yourself out, write it down. Whatever you have to do that makes you feel fulfilled, because if you're not fulfilled, you're going to be down a path that you don't want to be, whether it's mental health or addiction or anything like that. You don't know where it's going to put you, but it'll put you there and you don't realize why it's doing that.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Yes, cause you're. It is the lack of fulfillment For me. I know the lack of fulfillment, or chasing fulfillment through substances and other things, like you said, without me figuring out how I best serve, how to leverage the natural skills and talents I have in service to others. It took me a long time to figure that out like 40 years long time to figure that out, and there was a big chunk of that time where I filled that gap with self-destructive behaviors. You probably experienced this. You come out of school, you're going down a path, you said, oh crap, like hangnails, negative, I can't do the fireman thing. The people around you are suggesting that you do a certain thing and you, finally, you come to terms with no, but I need to do this thing. How did you work through that friction? Because I'm pretty sure that the people your friends, your family, et cetera are saying why are you doing that? That's not, you should do X, y, z, and they're not doing it to be ugly, but they're doing it, so it doesn't really matter why.

Speaker 2: 15:46

How do you deal with that that was probably one of the hardest things for me, because people are my energy, because it really does affect me how people feel about me and what people think. So when I started getting the, what are you doing? Where are you going? Why aren't you following through with firefighting? That's the way to go without a good career. Blah, blah, blah. It affects you and it makes you feel depressed. It makes you feel like you're not living up to your potential, even though you don't know what your potential is. People are just telling you what they think is good and you go oh, that's my potential, but it's not.

Speaker 1: 16:24

You know, clyde, I heard this I'm going to make it sound like I'm super smart.

Speaker 1: 16:29

I was doing research and it was really a video on TikTok where I heard them say this.

Speaker 1: 16:34

They say and I was like, oh my God, yes, because I've done that, like I've tortured people unintentionally because I said I decided that they had greater potential and so, anyways, the little thought was part of the problem with us is that we see the resources an individual has access to and we think about how we would leverage them and we call that seeing their potential Right. And that's like when I heard that, I'm like, oh, that's why some people, I drive them crazy or run them ragged is because I'm thinking about what I would do with that bucket of goodness that they have. That's not the same as what they will do. The best way I mean this is where I'm at with the whole thing is it's not necessarily driving them, pushing them to meet their potential. I would do better to help them become more resourceful because they have access to resources. All they need to figure out is how to use them and do what they want with them. What do you think about that?

Speaker 2: 17:40

The way I like to think of it is bowling. Bowling is interesting because I treat you'll treat the pins as life goals, right, and anybody can throw a bowling ball down and, yeah, it might end up in a gutter and you might be homeless. You might be making paychecks, you might be ending up in a gutter, that's a chance.

Speaker 2: 18:00

Ending up in a gutter, that's a chance on every throw. And then there's a chance of hitting every pin down. So when people talk to me and when I try and support people, I tell people don't be the bowling ball. You're not the bowling ball. Be those guides on the side that protect people from hitting the gutter. Yes, yes, that's all you need to be. They will chart, chart their course. They will know themselves better than anybody. You can talk to them, you can guide them, you can lead them to self-discovery. But at the end of the day, it's self-discovery and it needs to happen by themselves.

Speaker 1: 18:31

Amazing. Be the guide, be the bumpers.

Speaker 2: 18:34

Don't be the bowling ball. Don't be the bowling. You're not the bowling ball. You're not guilty of being the bowling ball. Everybody is, everybody is.

Speaker 2: 18:43

It's not like everybody's perfect right, I have a four-year-old daughter and there's times where I see her and I go I'm gonna be the bowling ball here. Yeah, there's times where maybe somebody needs that right, but you can't make that decision for them, right, right, right, you be the guides. And if they decide, hey, I want you to throw this one, you throw this rock for me, then sure, but it's a path of self discovery that people need to be led on, guided through, not led yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 19:12

So at the top of the call you talked about like you got to where you're at and it wasn't luck and I know you've just made a career change. Yes, how much luck was involved with that. Some. Yeah, it was timing. I wouldn't say luck.

Speaker 2: 19:26

The whole career change happened because of me making myself available. It was people in the industry noticed me through LinkedIn, through me putting myself out there, through training courses where I would not sit around with my team or not sit around with the other construction guys learning stuff. I walked over to where the trainers were, I walked over to where that table of suits were and I did what I did best Talked. I love that. I went screw it. I'm. I'm gonna talk. I don't know what I'm gonna talk about.

Speaker 1: 20:04

I don't know these people.

Speaker 2: 20:05

I don't know their names, but I'm gonna go in and talk and I'm gonna see where it gets me. Yeah, yeah, and I was doing it for my previous company. I went look, I want to get into the sales of my previous company and all of that, and I'm a full supporter of whichever company I'm with. So I talked and I met people and then they added me on LinkedIn and blah, blah, blah. And then I got a phone call one day with a job opportunity. I didn't seek it out, I got a call and I felt so fulfilled at that moment because I went. I did that. They called me. How good does that feel when somebody calls you and says we would love it if you applied for this position. We think you have the right stuff and it all just started to click. It was so cool.

Speaker 1: 20:56

Yeah. So there's some simple but monumental things that you pointed out right. Eating lunch with different people Back when I was an installer plumbing. One of the things that helped me progress in my career is I didn't just hang out with the plumbers anymore, I would spend time with the sheet metal guys and the electricians and the carpet to get and build relationships, learn what the hell they do and also help them know that you know I'm here and that's like so small but so huge. When you're out of training, yes, you're probably there with a group of people from your company, but go meet new people, introduce yourself, learn something about them is so powerful.

Speaker 1: 21:40

Now I know you keep saying like I like to talk, I'm good at talking Same right Every now and then people will ask me like man, I hear you're a motivational speaker. I'm like no, I'm not, but I just talk a lot. And it's kind of funny because when I was in school, my teachers would tell me you're never going to get anywhere because you talk too much. And I'm like how you like me Because that's all. Yeah, there you go, which is a little rude, but I do it with intent now before I just did it all the time.

Speaker 1: 22:06

So when you're like, you decide okay, I'm going to go sit with people, is it? How complex is it? What is your thinking? When you're in a new situation, a new environment with new people, how do you decide who you're going to go talk to and how you're going to go about it? The reason I'm asking is for the youngling out there, right, for that young professional. That's not a common practice for them. What are the basic, fundamental things they should be thinking about so that they can help people know?

Speaker 2: 22:35

So I don't know if this is going to be applicable to everybody, and we'll get a little bit deeper with who I am. I realized as an adult that maybe the way I process things are a little different. Sure, so I went to a doctor and started doing stuff, found out I've had ADHD my whole life. Okay, well, there's the proof for not being able to stop talking. Had that my whole life? Proof for not being able to stop talking. Had that my whole life. And one of the things that is kind of a superpower about that is something that is called hyperfocus and anybody can do it. It happens all the time, but it's something that kind of follows along with the whole ADHD thing and what I do and the way I see things is. I break it down. I look around the room, I go who's doing what? Who do I need to talk to? What are they wearing? What are they doing what?

Speaker 1: 23:23

are their mannerisms.

Speaker 2: 23:24

It's all nonverbal, it's all physical. You're looking at them, you're evaluating and you look at every opportunity, every moment for a conversation. Something that they mentioned, something that they say is, you pick it and you run with it. I don't know, I might not know what I'm talking about, I might never have been to Greece, but he maybe have mentioned, or the person maybe had mentioned they'd been to Greece. And I will come up with everything I know or ask questions to put myself in a conversation, to put myself in the room, and then it's to go okay, well, I got in the room by talking about Greece. How the hell do I turn that into me? Because you're selling yourself and that's what these young people need to do. I'm still young, I'm 30. I can't be considered a senior, but you've got to see these moments and you've got to take advantage of them and you've got to pop in, see what it is and then go. How do I sell myself? Because that's ultimately what you're doing. If you're meeting somebody, you're selling yourself.

Speaker 1: 24:30

Yeah, the fundamental building blocks, I heard, was listen and ask questions. Yes, that's the door You've got to overcome your insecurities or whatever. Like it's okay, everybody's insecure for me, like for real, yeah, but be in the space, listen, ask questions and then it goes on from there, right?

Speaker 2: 24:52

like it terrifies me to go up and talk to somebody. But internally, yeah, everybody has those same butterflies. Everybody has that heart racing moment of I'm either gonna go and hit a home run or I'm gonna fall on my butt and I'm gonna look like an idiot talking to this person and so what right?

Speaker 1: 25:09

I mean, that's how I see it's like, let's let's see what happens.

Speaker 2: 25:13

I can sound like an idiot, I'm okay. There's six billion people here. If one person thinks I'm an idiot, I will move on, I'll be all right, I'll sleep, just fine. But like, if that person thinks you're smart, where's it gonna go? So what's, what's the negative feedback of that? Are you confident enough in yourself that you can take a hit and go oh, I just talked about something I have no idea about and that guy totally knows I have no idea about it. Right, right? Or do you go all negative and go well, I'm not going to talk to him because I might sound like an idiot and then nothing good will come of it.

Speaker 1: 25:48

Nothing Right. Shoot your shot. The only way to know is to do the damn thing. Go, do it. Shoot your shot.

Speaker 2: 25:54

Yeah, that's it. Shoot your shot. Why not? And why not? And that's how I got there. That's how I'm here is because I saw one of these guys were sitting there trying to do stuff on LinkedIn, and that's seriously how it happened. Nice, he was trying to do stuff on LinkedIn and I went hey, I know what you're doing, can I help you? And you just start talking to him and then you ask him questions and then you find out he's got kids and he went here for vacation and you just roll and you just run with it and you be attentive. It's hard in this generation, especially with the younger kids, with social media and stuff. Making that eye contact, looking that person in the eye, squaring your shoulders up and listening, active listening All of that is difficult, it's a skill, but once you get it, sky's your limit.

Speaker 1: 26:39

Yeah, 100%, I agree A hundred percent. It's the one that the one thing that has helped me in my career or careers, because I've had a few is the ability to connect with people. And but I just want to be extra, extra clear it's because I spend most of my time listening to them, like listening and understanding what they care about, what they're interested in. And here's the other thing the more time I spend listening, I get to see like, oh, this person's kind of a jerk, they're kind of selfish, self-centered, rude. I'm just going to mosey on to the next group Like I don't need to invest a whole lot, invest a whole lot if I listen, but if I go in there trying to attract attention and bring everybody to me, I have no basis of understanding for what type of people I got around me. That's right.

Speaker 2: 27:27

The more time I'm listening, the better off I am, and that guy could be a jerk, but he might be your next step to success. So, being able to actively listen, stand back and go oh yeah, that guy's kind of a misogynist or that guy's kind of arrogant or whatever you then figure out how to leverage that, you go. How am I going to talk to this guy where we're going to end up in a good spot and he's going to remember me. Yeah, you don't stoop down to his level or her level or anything like that, but there's always another way to talk to somebody. Everybody is different. So to talk to somebody, everybody is different. So to talk to everybody the same and to say the same things and the same mannerisms not going to work.

Speaker 1: 28:06

Truth everybody's got a different flavor baby and you gotta let her know what you are you, but that comes from self-confidence.

Speaker 2: 28:12

Yeah, I was always told I was a chameleon. They said clyde the chameleon. Clyde the chameleon because I would go and talk to anybody and I would go and hang out with the music kids in school and then I'd go down the hall and hang out with all the math kids and they'd put me in any class. And you, what are they like? Who are they and how can I be who I am while still addressing that person's needs and that person's wants and desires and all the things that they consider successful communication? You can't be the same person to everybody, but you can. You can be the same person down here, be you, but at the same time you got to talk to people differently, everybody's different yes, everybody has different motivators, different desires, different wants, and figuring that out, that's the magic.

Speaker 1: 28:59

And? And? So you talked about helping this guy on LinkedIn, and I want to make sure that, like we hammer on this point, because I know you're not on LinkedIn passively You're using LinkedIn for a very specific purpose. So what is that purpose?

Speaker 2: 29:15

I didn't know at first. I jumped on LinkedIn with my first company because I knew it was essentially the social media platform for professionals and I was using it to acquire new contractors and to meet people from my old company. I went well, we could use some new contractors, we could meet some people. I'll give it a go, and it's one of those things where you start off with nobody caring about what you're putting up and I didn't know, what I was doing.

Speaker 2: 29:41

I'm not a social media person. I don't have my own personal Instagrams or Snapchats or TikToks. I'm way too old at heart to care about any of that crap. So it was what do I do? What do I do with this? How do I use this for me? And I just started figuring it out. I was pushing myself to learn what people are attracted to, what people want to see, but all while staying true to myself.

Speaker 2: 30:07

And I started noticing people like you and other people that are like put, this whole area that I didn't know existed, of this mental health and support and all this love and good feelings. And I went. I really liked that and I just I thought construction was one of these industries that was never going to change. I had no desire to jump in and rock a boat. I just wanted to push this idea that I was really good at what I did and I am in construction and I will promote this company and I'm going to build. And I started to learn that it's not about that necessarily. People come to you for who you are and what you believe and what your thoughts and opinions are on things. So I just started to, I just jumped in I don't even know how else to say it. I just kind of said screw it, let's give it a go. I don't know if this is going to work. And then it just started working, and that's how I got my previous job.

Speaker 2: 31:05

I got my previous job through LinkedIn. I had the president of the company message me a couple of times over a couple of years on LinkedIn saying we'd love to have you. I see what you're doing. You're posting, you're doing this. They got my identity Right Because I wasn't shying away from who I am.

Speaker 1: 31:23

Yeah, yeah, like the most valuable thing. Similarly, I didn't realize I didn't understand the value of social media, like originally I was just jacking around on it, had a LinkedIn account because somebody told me I should have a LinkedIn account on it. I had a LinkedIn account because somebody told me I should have a LinkedIn account and it wasn't until I launched a podcast three, four years ago that I'm like oh, people need to know, there's a podcast to listen to, so I need to post so that they know. And then it all of a sudden it became clear like I could leverage social media to help people know who I am, what I'm about, what I care about, and they can care about it or not, and it's okay either way, and so you know, I like that. You pointed out like there is a community, there is a growing group of people that want to change what the construction experience is, what the construction experience is Like for me.

Speaker 1: 32:26

I'm 100% committed to helping leaders in our industry learn how to demonstrate appreciation for the men and women that do the work. There's a lot of room to improve, a lot of relationships to focus on. But because of my background, coming from the trades and the roles that I've had in my career. I feel like I have a special set of glasses that I can help people really understand how not just understand but like systematically demonstrate appreciation, make things easier and better for the people out there that are doing the work. And the more I say it, the more people say, hey, that guy's kind of I know he's a goofball, but he does care and he can help. And so I use my experience to make that happen. And what I heard on your interview with Gavin your experience with your father, your experience early on in your career, like in construction, has informed your focus in terms of helping people, place value on relationships, place value on mental wellness. How else are you using your experiences, those painful experiences, to serve others, to help?

Speaker 2: 33:31

other people, sure, so I am an open book. Yeah, I try not to hide who I am, what I was, what I did, because that's disingenuine. People don't know who you are or know what you've been through, unless you help them understand that are the owners of companies and you're all talking about the industry and all of these things going out. And oh, I was home on the weekends with my kid, or I made sure that we had a vacation every year for a week and I stood up and I go hey, coming from the third generation of construction, coming from having a father that's been in it for 25, 30 years, I can tell you that's not enough. Woof.

Speaker 1: 34:21

I tell you right now it's not enough.

Speaker 2: 34:23

I've gone around the room and I said how old are your kids? And they're my age, so listen up. It's not enough. But once a year vacation is not enough for your child to feel like they have a father or a mother. You can be a placeholder, but you're not fulfilling your role. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 34:41

It's harsh. It's harsh. I don't think it's harsh. I think it stings so a little context. I remember me coming up very similar right. My dad worked. He traveled for work. In his mind, from my perspective, he was doing the best he could with what he knew. A, B, His definition, and I think this is critical, his definition of being a father meant providing yes, and the reason I can identify with that is because there was a period of time with one of my wives ex-wives, not multi- I only had them one at a time.

Speaker 2: 35:19

I didn't break any laws.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Quick correction Good, I decided that my job as a husband was to provide, and that was it Like. Now I think differently, but that was my definition. And so when she said, hey, I want a divorce, I was like what the hell are you talking about? This is amazing. Like we have the cars and the truck and the house and the vacations, but I was not emotionally available, period. And you know, like I don't want to sugarcoat it too much I was drinking my ass off, I was partying, I was deep sea fishing, I was playing soft, Like I was having it was amazing for me, but the fundamental problem that she and I had was my lack of emotional availability.

Speaker 1: 36:03

And so back to what I said like it's not harsh, it just stings. Like I can be walking in success by meeting my own definition and failing. The people I care about are the people closest to me, and I think it's that realization that your comment has on people, which they're probably they probably got pissed and defensive. Some of them did. I'm not getting the impression that you said it disrespectfully or in a judgmental fashion. You said it in a factual perspective, like bro, this ain't enough, and so it's that kind of messaging and courage that we need more of. And so when you did that the first time, did you just say, like I need to keep doing this?

Speaker 2: 36:49

Yeah, I, like every teacher, has told me I don't shut up. And I went this is how I feel. Yeah, it's going to sting some people, but if it stings there's a reason for it and I'm okay If something stings if there's a reason for it and I'm okay if something stings if there's a reason for it. I'm not going to be a bully and take shots at people that don't deserve taking shots and I don't think I'm taking shots. I'm outlining my path, what I saw, what I witnessed in the construction industry, and I even went through it.

Speaker 2: 37:21

You were talking about emotional availability and your ex-wife Now I've got my fingers crossed, I've still got the one I have yeah, but when I was I'm still in the construction industry but when I was working 50, 60 hours a week, I wasn't emotionally available. And how do I cope with that? Well, you said yourself very honestly with the drinking and stuff like that, I smoked. You know deep down what's going on. But to address is hard and to come from a family in the construction industry and the very alpha male type, old school type, I'm the husband, I provide, and then I come home and sit on my ass and I'm good because that's my wife's now doing her job. Yeah, you get that idea in people's heads and it's poison. Yes, it's not a sustainable system. I know that for sure and I was doing it because I didn't know any better. Right, like I've said many times, I've learned what to do by learning what not to do. I didn't have those rails on the side of my alley, my lane. I didn't have those rails on the side of my alley, my lane. I didn't have that. Yeah, I was just throwing balls down the lane and hoping to God, I hit a pin and I knocked down one pin and I go, let's throw another one, go, another one, let's go.

Speaker 2: 38:47

And I've had tough times with my wife. I've had times where she said you don't care or you don't feel like you're around or you don't listen, and it's because you put this idea in your head that you're a provider. My wife stays at home. I'll preempt that. My wife is an early childhood educator and, since we had a daughter, all she wants to do is stay home. There's no better person to raise my daughter than somebody with a bachelor's degree in raising kids. That's just the way she wants, that's her role and she's happy with that. But does that mean I come home and I sit on my ass.

Speaker 2: 39:12

No no. I come home and I can honestly say that my wife has probably worked harder than me. Oh man, yes For all those people in the construction industry, all those 50-year-old men sitting at desks typing up and then coming home and doing nothing. They're working harder than you. So chip in, be there, be around, be emotionally available. Don't come in spew about your day, then sit on the couch and watch TV. Be around and the emotional availability is hard. It's hard to put yourself out there, it's hard to say, it's hard, it's hard to put yourself out there.

Speaker 2: 39:48

It's hard to say, well, I have two jobs. People need to know that you have two jobs. Whether it's a husband and your job, whether it's a wife and your job, you have two jobs.

Speaker 1: 39:55

I love that framing, clyde, because I have an issue with the idea of work-life balance. Balance, I think of it in terms of intensity Because I know that if I would treat rather, when I decided to start treating all of my commitments and responsibilities with the same intensity, people were happier, like I was a better brother, a better son, a better all of the above. And so the framing you said is you have two jobs. Right, if you approach your duties as a husband, father, mother, brother, all of the above, if you approach those duties with the same stewardship that you do your job, your career, things are going to be pretty damn good. Would you agree 100%?

Speaker 2: 40:40

100%. My wife this week has looked at. It's my first week my wife has looked at me and went you look different. And I go what do you mean? Like it's not just the dress, shirt and the nice shoes. Now she's like you look peaceful.

Speaker 2: 40:54

Ooh, nice yeah, you look like you are where you wanted to be, yeah, and there's the stress and that gorilla or whatever you want to call it on your back. It's gone, yeah, and by doing that, it allows you to be more. Yes, so, like you were talking about, like intensity and stuff like that, if I take the same drive and passion, I have to provide for my family, because that's ultimately all I want to do, yep, all I want to do is provide a better life for my family than I had, and that should be everybody's goal in life. If it's not, re-evaluate and write things down and figure out why it's not. And I took it from there and I went well, where is that going to take me? What does that look like? And I got the job and something settled in and I went oh, I get to talk to people for a living and I get to use all the skill sets that I knew I had, right.

Speaker 2: 41:52

But, like I said earlier, I thought it was a weakness. Sure, I never thought that somebody would say, hey, I want you to go shake hands and make friends for a living. And I was like, holy crap, I didn't know I could do that. I was told what are you doing. Oh, you're so good at the work, why don't you move up into the management and be like a big foreman for a big company? And people don't realize. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you're passionate about it.

Speaker 1: 42:17

Oh yeah, oh baby, that is true. People don't realize that.

Speaker 2: 42:22

Yeah, yeah. I've held a caulking gun in my hand for a thousand hours, 10,000 hours, and I can do it with my eyes closed. Brings me no joy, right, brings me no joy. Other people might look at it. Engineers might look at it and go, that's amazing. Brings me nothing, does nothing for me.

Speaker 1: 42:37

Yep, no, I think that's super, super important. Part of the reason I got out of that helped me make a shift in my career is I used to be excited about, you know, driving through town and say, man, I was on that project or I help on that project, and then all of a sudden they all look the same to me. All they were was another damn budget, another damn schedule, a whole slew of meetings, a whole bunch of pissing and moaning schedule. A whole slew of meetings, a whole bunch of pissing and moaning, screaming and cussing. It was gone. Whatever magic that was there was gone for me. And that's when I knew like I got to do something different, because this, your point, no longer brings me joy. I need something that's going to bring me joy. I didn't think about it in those terms back then, but that's what it was, and so I didn't think about it either.

Speaker 2: 43:26

And the hardest points in my life were days that I thought I was successful. I thought I was killing it. Everybody thought I was good at this job. Everybody thinks I'm great with concrete and I can do this and I can do that and everybody's praising me and for me the praise and all of that hits real deep because of the person I am. I was going, I'm doing great. Everybody likes me.

Speaker 2: 43:49

Everybody likes my work. Everybody's asking for me to come in and caulk their wall or to fix whatever on their building. But there was just an emptiness. It was just another wall, it was just another building, it was just another color. I didn't care, and it's the finding. What you care about is so damn important. It's not living up to other people's expectations. It's not what you think. Success looks like in life is. What does success look like in life to you is more important yes, yes, dude, so amazing.

Speaker 1: 44:23

that's gold right there. Thank you, I'm going to get us coming around sliding into home. Got the closing question for you. Are you ready? Yeah, I love it. What is the promise that Clyde is intended to be?

Speaker 2: 44:37

I promise to be myself. Okay, that's all I can promise anybody. Yeah, anybody. I'm going to be myself and prove to myself that I'm happy and that I worked hard, that I've earned it, that I've put my. I put the puzzle pieces in myself and I know that there's mentors and I know that there's all these other things and all the timing and all these things lined up. But at the end of the day, because I was true to myself and because I promised to live every day is who I am and not who the next person wants me to be and who I think somebody wants me to be and who I think my family wants me to be, I'm just going to be me and where I am.

Speaker 2: 45:21

Like, my wife was concerned about me taking this job. She had no idea she goes. You've just been with your company for a year. I hadn't even been with them for a year and I love those guys and they were great to me and I had no desire to leave Because I was true to myself and because I know who I am. When the opportunity came, knocking, all of those puzzle pieces fit together and I go. Oh, I didn't know what the final picture of the puzzle looked like it's building a puzzle, with not knowing what it looks like. Nobody gave me the box and I finally put those last couple pieces together and I went oh it's me, this is it. Yeah, this is me. It's not the job, it's not the position, it's not the money. I don't care about making a million dollars.

Speaker 2: 46:03

I don't care about making half a million dollars. I came from lower class. I watched so many things money issues and things like that. I grew up getting things taken away from me because my sister needed it and stuff like that. It's not anything about that. I was true to myself and regardless of where it takes me with money or taking care of my family, it was something clicked. Those last couple puzzle pieces went together and I took a step back and I found out the puzzle was actually just a picture of me, bam that was good did you have a good time, man?

Speaker 2: 46:39

I always have a good time talking to you, man, always.