Pitchin' and Sippin' with Lexie Smith

How to Land a TEDx Talk with Speaker and Author Marie Icontrera

• Lexie Smith • Season 7 • Episode 133

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In this episode, Lexie Smith sits down with Marie Incontrera, a two-time TEDx speaker and founder of Incontrera Consulting. Marie Incontrera is the CEO and Founder of Incontrera Consulting, a digital marketing and thought leadership consulting agency; author, creative professional, and speechwriter. She works with thought leaders to leverage their online presence through social media, podcasts, and speaking. Her speaker clients have booked TED and TedX conferences globally and have talked on keynote stages worldwide. Her media clients have been booked on popular podcasts and radio stations such as The World’s Most Amazing People, Entrepreneur On Fire, and more. Marie authorizes the Amazon best-sellers Social Your Book Launch and Spread Your Idea. She is a two-time TEDx speaker and a keynote speaker.

Marie shares her journey from jazz musician to digital marketing expert and successful speaker coach, having placed over 100 clients on TEDx stages worldwide. Whether you’re a budding speaker or a seasoned pro, Marie’s insights will help you confidently navigate the TEDx application landscape.

Marie also discusses the broader speaking landscape, comparing TEDx to keynote opportunities. She provides valuable tips on creating a "speak to sell" strategy, focusing on identifying pain points for potential clients and leveraging speaking engagements for business growth. With a wealth of experience and a passion for empowering thought leaders, Marie offers actionable advice that can help anyone looking to elevate their public speaking game and make a lasting impact. Tune in to learn how to turn your ideas into powerful presentations and unlock new opportunities on the global stage!

Here’s What You’ll Learn:

  • Learn the distinctions between TED and TEDx, including the application process and the types of talks allowed.
  • Discover how to select a compelling and relevant topic that resonates with a global audience.
  • Gain insight into the specific guidelines TEDx organizers look for, such as avoiding political or religious agendas.
  • Understand the importance of providing clear, actionable takeaways that your audience can implement immediately.
  • Learn effective strategies for applying to TEDx events, including preparing a strong video pitch and written blurb.
  • Discover how to handle rejection and keep applying to different TEDx events until you find the right fit.
  • Understand the distinction between TEDx talks and keynote speeches, including their formats and purposes.
  • Explore how to structure your talk to effectively address audience pain points and promote your services.
  • Learn how to maximize both paid and unpaid speaking engagements for business growth and networking.
  • Get actionable advice on refining your message and presentation skills to captivate your audience and enhance your speaking career.


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Lexie Smith  

Marie, Marie, let's restart that, because I said your name wrong. Marie incontrera is a two time TEDx speaker, the CEO and founder of incontrera Consulting, a digital marketing and thought leader consulting agency, and the author of Amazon bestsellers, social your book launch and spread your idea. She works with thought leaders on leveraging their online presence through social media, podcasts and speaking. Her speaker clients have been booked by TED and TEDx conferences globally and have spoken on keynote stages across the world. Her media clients have been booked on popular podcasts and radio stations, such as the world's most amazing people, Entrepreneur on Fire and many more. I first was introduced to Marie in a I don't know what do we call him, like a workshop of sorts, with spiral five, which was founded by Teresa, who has also been on the show. I heard you speak. I knew you had to come on. I'm pretty sure I live. Pitched you during the event. Anyways, welcome officially to the show. Thank


Marie Incontrera  

you so much for having me. And yes, you did, and it was, it was awesome. So thank you for for that. I really enjoyed my time with spiral five.


Lexie Smith  

So where in the world are you?


Marie Incontrera  

I am in Manhattan, New York. I live in Hell's Kitchen.


Lexie Smith  

I don't know what has been this week, but I feel like every single person I've spoken with, whether it be a current client, a prospect now this podcast, everyone is in New York, and I'm over in California, like, hey, it's only 115 over here, so it's like a sign. I need to get over to the East Coast soon. Hell's Kitchen. Okay, outside of work, which we'll get to shortly. What do you like to do for fun?


Marie Incontrera  

So in my my five to nine, as we say, I I'm writing a musical right now, and so working on that, and like to do lots of art. Go see Broadway shows. I mean, I live in the theater district and, yeah, those, I think, I think that's enough hobbies, right? Wait,


Lexie Smith  

you're, you're writing the musical like you're, like, writing it. Oh, my god, that's amazing. So do you sing as well and act real?


Marie Incontrera  

I'm just a writer. I and nobody wants to hear me sing. That's


Lexie Smith  

amazing. I mean, I like writing journalistically, but writing for musical that's a whole other ballgame. Are you writing the music as well? Or is that something you team up with someone on?


Marie Incontrera  

I'm writing the music. I have a writing partner, Dorie Clark, who's, she's also a business person and in her day job, and so we're she's writing the book, The Story essentially, and the lyrics and the music is on me. And


Lexie Smith  

I now, I'm like, this is totally triggering a memory of how this is relevant. But we're going to go back into it in your career, Cliff Notes, because let's figure out how one who is capable of writing a musical somehow ends up where you are today. So


Marie Incontrera  

let's rewind time and talk everyone through what came before today. Yeah, so I have a music degree. I have my master's degree in music composition, and I spent my 20s as a working jazz musician, and I was at the top of my game. But, you know, jazz doesn't pay all that much, so I was playing Carnegie Hall and the blue note and touring and, you know, kind of doing things at the top of my game. My band was winning awards, and I was making $15,000 a year. And in New York that is very, very little, even, you know, 1010, 10 ish years ago. So my friend Dory said, Well, you know, you might think about applying some of your entrepreneurial skills to, you know, instead of doing every odd job that you have to to survive, maybe you could be a virtual assistant and see what people want from you and see if it works, and what have you got to lose? And I didn't have much to lose. And so on my 30th and a half birthday, eight plus years ago, I quit my my odd jobs, and I and I started I worked with, you know, literally, two clients to start as a virtual assistant, and over time, built something bigger than that, because people started coming to me for the same things over time, and then eventually had to hire people, and the rest is history. And here we are, and


Lexie Smith  

here we are. Okay, so let's get into today. Oh, okay, at least it was on a break. Don't know why that happened. Let's try again. Hey, Kaylee, just in case you weren't watching the edit, I just my camera went off, so I'm going to reset. Okay, okay, so let's go in. To today. So we went from jazz musician right to virtual assistant. Now today, you're an author. You have your own firm. So what? I guess you do many things, but what is the core of what you offer your clients today?


Marie Incontrera  

So it's two things. Digital Marketing has been what I've done historically the most, right, like a lot of a lot of LinkedIn, a lot of Instagram, you know, very, very focused on social media, some blog writing. And I work with a lot with B to B people and B to B companies. That tends to be my sweet spot. So lots of coaches, lots of consultants, lots of solopreneurs, PR agents and things like that. And then the other side of what I do is all around speaking. And for the last eight plus years, I've been working on getting people placed on TEDx stages and writing TEDx talks and basically all things TEDx and I really love that work. I've been really successful at it. I've placed over 100 people on on stages around the world, and more recently, getting into keynotes and developing people's keynotes and and having them, you know, getting them placed on stages a little bit more broadly, with the model of speaking to cell being the the main focus. Okay, I'm


Lexie Smith  

so excited. So if everyone's been living under a rock, what is Ted? I'm just kidding everyone listening, you have not been living under a rock. But I do want to take a minute and kind of introduce or reintroduce TED and TEDx, because there's also a difference that I'd like to to talk about. Yeah, that's great. So I and I, unfortunately, use them interchangeably sometimes,


Marie Incontrera  

but that's just for my own shorthand. But they're very, very different, right? Ted is the big event that happens every year in Vancouver, there's Ted women, which happens at the end of every year. So there's basically just two or three Ted proper events. Those are the big TED Talks. You know, they're invite only. It's a five or $10,000 ticket kind of depending on what what you purchase and what you have access to, that kind of thing, and people like Shonda Rhimes and Monica Lewinsky speak at TED, right? So are your chances of getting on a TED stage if you're not famous or an inventor or a big you know, the CEO of of chat, GPT or OpenAI or anything like that. They're pretty slim. So almost 20 years ago, Ted created the TEDx brand, which is an extension of Ted. They're independently organized TED style events, and anybody can apply for a license. By the way, I've been an organizer. I did it once, just to say I did it. And so what happens is, you apply for a license, and you you hold an event, and it has to follow the TED guidelines, things like having branding on the stage, things like recording the talks with two or three cameras and having three point lighting, that sort of thing. And so the purpose of the TEDx brand is to create a global platform for people who don't necessarily have one. And that's how people like Brene Brown have become Brene Brown, how people like Simon Sinek and Mel Robbins and you know, others who didn't have the global platform, they amassed millions of views, and they became who they are today because they gave an 18 minute or less talk. Wow. Okay, first off,


Lexie Smith  

thank you for that breakdown, because I don't think it's one unless you're deeply entrenched in the speaking space. To come to some extent you might not realize. So also from the consumer end, it's worth kind of noting that being said, you have had immense success placing people or helping them get placed on stages, but you've also spoken on them yourself. So I guess which came first the chicken or the egg? Did you first speak and then you taught people how to do it, or vice versa?


Marie Incontrera  

Yeah. So I, I got into this by accident. And my same friend, Dory, she she said, Well, I have a client who I was virtual assisting at the time, so I was basically just doing whatever people would come to me for. And she said, I have a client who needs to get who wants to get placed on a TEDx stage. Can you help him? And I was like, What's a TED Talk? Basically, you know, I barely knew what they were. I mean, I had seen them on the internet. And, you know, you see them around, but you make assumptions, right? I made the assumption that you needed to be famous. You needed to be, you know. Know you needed to have done something and and I said, she said, You know what? You're smart. Figure it out. So I, you know, spoke with the client, and I said, Well, you know, no promises, no guarantees. I'll certainly try my best. I'll, I'll figure this out, and we'll see what happens. And by the end of our first month together, he had gotten placed at two events, and then more people came to me, and they said, you know, can you do this for me? And I said, no guarantees. And then they got placed. And so I said, Okay, I gotta walk my talk. So I spoke on a couple of stages, you know, I became an organizer, that kind of thing. I really cemented what TEDx is in in my brain. And, you know, really got to know the platform and the style and everything and that, that's how that happened. And you know, once you start getting success with something, you know, more people come they more people want it, that kind of thing. So I really solidified and cemented an offer


Lexie Smith  

around that, and we're going to pin that because we're going to go a little bit more into Ted. But I have another chicken and egg question first, and I want to take a step back. So if you're a journalist listening to this who wants to get into speaking, or you're a PR professional whose clients asking for stages, or you're on the entrepreneur wanting to do it yourself. Do you start with TEDx? Should you start somewhere else? What's your best advice, and where should Ted line up in that strategy?


Marie Incontrera  

That's a great question. So one of the really important distinctions about TEDx is that it's one of the only speaking opportunities you'll ever have, where you speak globally, usually when you keynote, when you you know, go to a lunch and learn, when you speak to a group of PR professionals, for example, on on a on a webinar, right, you're being really specific, and that's a good thing, because your audience is very specific. You're speaking to a room full of entrepreneurs, leaders, teachers, PR, professionals, whatever it is. But with TED and TEDx, you're literally speaking to anybody who can see that video. And so when you do your keynote, and when you do TEDx really depends on what your message is and whether it's going to be valuable to be on a global stage and get the global standing and the global branding behind you, or if it's going to be, well, I just, I just want to go to conferences, or I want to speak to, you know, people who can buy my services or my product, or I want to get in front of people who can, can help me build my following in some way. That's when you do a Keynote or or a workshop or a lunch and learn.


Lexie Smith  

Okay, so I remember on the spiral five talk, you know, coming from the organizer perspective. You talked about how many applications you received and how many just did not nail it. Clearly, you've had a track record in the success of cracking the code. So let's get into it. In your opinion, how does one land a TED? Or maybe it's even like, do we have to start with the topic? You you tell me where we should go here, if someone wants, if that's the goal, where do we start?


Marie Incontrera  

Yeah, so it has to start with, with a topic and an idea, right? So when I'm when I'm placing somebody, first thing we do is we coach, we talk about the idea. You know, Ted has guidelines for their TEDx talks. So that's really, really important. Your idea has to match up with your the guidelines. That means no political or religious agendas, no pseudoscience, no no selling from the stage there. There are lots of rules that really focus on that will help you focus your ideas. And you need things like global, actionable and accessible takeaways. So if you're speaking and let's say I'm making this up, let's say your idea is around living more mindfully, right? Your takeaways for the audience, what are the ways that the audience, that the audience's life is going to be different after they listen to your talk. Your takeaways cannot be well, go purchase a mindfulness retreat, and, you know, spend a month off the grid, right? Or go do this Yoda yoga certification, or whatever the case is, your takeaways have to literally be something that anybody can do. And so when you're workshopping your idea, when you're thinking about it, whether you do it, go it alone or you work with somebody, you really have to be thinking about how do I make my idea the most global that it can be?


Lexie Smith  

What I wish I had written this down? Out, because this was very timely to our talk today, but I was scrolling on LinkedIn yesterday, I think yes, Tuesday, so yesterday, and this, this lady was talking about her TED talk, and it essentially was why you should read or why reading fiction is good for your business. I was like, Well, this is freaking timely because I'm literally talking to you the next day, but I thought it was really interesting. And so, I mean, is any topic on at play here? Or, like, I'm just trying to think of, how did she go about, you know, I looked at her profile. I'm like, she's not even a fiction writer. Like, why is that her topic? And I'd love to just hear, are there any more parameters around, you know, where we can start. Is it like a theme per event? How do we narrow it down? Yeah. So


Marie Incontrera  

the great thing about TED is that when, when, when, when a TEDx event has a theme, the theme is broad. So a lot of things will fit under that umbrella. For example, you know, a theme might be brave new ending, or change your mind, or, you know, a whole new world, or something like that, right? So you look at that and you say, Okay, does my talk fit under change your mind? Well, I could have a mindfulness talk, I could have a science talk, I could have a parenthood talk, I could have a business talk. I could, you know, there are so many talks that could fit under that theme. And the great thing about TEDx is that as as a consultant, as a coach, as as somebody who, who works with ideas, I get to be a little bit industry agnostic. One of the quickest placements I have ever had was with a sustainable hunting expert who literally he it was high covid. He traveled to Africa and did his his talk remotely in Africa and recorded it. And it was all about how, how the government regulated sustainable hunting practices put an end to poaching. And so what he would do is he would go couple times a year, and the government would say, okay, so you can afford. We can afford to give you five sable and, you know, three antelope and one lion, and whatever it is, this way the land stays at carrying capacity, and all of that meat is then donated to the villages so that nobody goes hungry. So that was, like, it was so easy to place that talk, and it was something I never would have thought I would have worked with, because I work with a lot of coaches and consultants. And this person came to me, and I was like, I gotta look at these. I gotta reread the rules and make sure that this, this is TEDx worthy, and it totally was, and it was one of the most fun engagements I ever had.


Lexie Smith  

Now, once you nailed the Talk or topic, right? Is there any other tips to keep in mind while going through the application process, or is it pretty straightforward from there?


Marie Incontrera  

Yeah. So the thing that I get my clients to prepare is a video script, so like a two minute video of you talking about the talk, introducing yourself, showing people what they're gonna get when you get on stage, and a blurb. And the thing about applications is that every TEDx can have whatever submission process they want. They don't have to take outside applications. They certainly can. Some of them are going to be as simple as sending a LinkedIn message or an email or a Facebook message or whatever it is, and some are going to have a very detailed Google form, you know, or a submission process. And so you really have to just be prepared for a variety of situations when it comes to the application process. Also, you know, the first one you apply to may not be a good fit for you, even if you think it's a good fit, the organizer, really, they have their idea of the day and everything like that. So if you don't get placed on your first or your fifth or your 20th or whatever it is, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your idea. It just means that you haven't found the right event for you. Okay,


Lexie Smith  

so let's talk about some other types of events. Because you also mentioned, you know, you work with people beyond Ted. And a term you brought up, I'd like to resurface now is keynote. So I always do, you know, this is an education podcast. What is a keynote for those who might not know that the specifics or the distinction?


Marie Incontrera  

Yeah, great. So a keynote in its loose you know, people use that term, I think, rather loosely, to mean a variety of different things. I use Keynote as informative speech, right or or informative session where you're on stage, maybe it's interactive, maybe it's not. It could be scripted. It could not be but you're on. Stage to inform and your audience is is going to be either learning something or they're moved to do something, and that in its broadest form. So a keynote could be 45 minutes, it could be 20 minutes, it could be 90 minutes. It could be a full day workshop. It could be a half day workshop. It could be, you know, a speech and then a training session. Keynotes can take a very, very wide variety of of formats.


Lexie Smith  

Okay, great. So someone wants to be a keynote speaker, and they are like, great. You know what? Actually, I want to be a keynote speaker, and I want to start getting paid for this. Now, is that route different than maybe the the pitching your application process, which one might assume isn't always paid or or maybe debunk me entirely. What is that? What is the difference there? So,


Marie Incontrera  

yeah, so that's a great question, because there are a couple of models with speak keynoting, right? There's the speak to sell, which, you know, you get on, you get on stage, and you can sell. Sometimes you get paid for that. Sometimes you don't. I'll give you an example. In 2021, I spoke at the world business executive coaching Summit. It was virtual. It was, you know, nobody was vaccinated yet, and so we were all in our houses, and it was all quarantined. It probably took 90 minutes of my time, and they had a very, very specific, very strict no pitch policy. So you couldn't even give them your website. You couldn't give the attendings your website. If I tell you, I my calendar filled up for, I think, two months right after, and my business doubled. And so that's the kind of thing that, like, you know, even if you're not getting paid, which I didn't, I didn't get paid for that, but I paid dividends in my business in ways that, you know, three years later, I still work with clients I met during that time. I've been referred clients from, you know, they say, Oh, I heard you two years ago, on on W backs, you know, like that is the kind of thing that, you know. I really encourage people to be open to speaking for free, because the you know, what could what? What could you get paid on stage? To get on stage, 5000 10,000 maybe 15 if you're a very experienced speaker, more if you're famous in some way. But what did I make from speaking W backs, you know, I don't even know it's, it's, you know, definitely in the hundreds of 1000s. Now that I've had recurring clients, I've had people come to me. I've been referred people. So staying open to that is really, really important. And you know, know that speaker fees really, really, really run the gamut. You know, people feel like, oh, yeah, I should be getting paid $15,000 for my time. Great. That's awesome. And you know, you have to be okay with saying, Okay, I asked 15, but their budget is 3500 or 5000 or 7500 right? So just be aware of that. My advice to everybody is have a number in mind of what you want to be making, and then be willing to waive your fees for for the right opportunity, or because you can speak to sell. Okay,


Lexie Smith  

let's go a little bit deeper on the speak to sell, because clearly you know how to do that. And I think that's a dream that a lot of people would love to integrate, because, you know, it's basically besides your time and your expertise. It's not like you're having to pour money into an ad campaign, if what you're giving is your expertise on a stage and you can double your business, like, sign me up now. Yeah, easier said than done. So where, I guess you have any kind of high level tips on how to create a talk that really does sell? Is it okay if you do a how to workshop, that's better? Or it all comes down to that two minute, you know, pitch at the end. I don't know any general advice there. That's


Marie Incontrera  

a great question. So two things, one is going to speak to the talk itself, and the other is going to speak to the kind of stage that you get on for this kind of thing. So first of all, the actual talk you give, you want to be speaking to the pain points of your customers, right? Your potential customers, your potential clients. That's really, really important, and the pain point has to be front and center. It has to be really obvious when you're pitching and that is the most important thing. Because why? Why should anybody listen to you? Well, you're going to solve a problem for them, so really be thinking about what. Keeps your clients up at night. You know, for me, right? Like, it's very, very easy for me to get on stage, because I have, I have a my pain point is super clear for my clients. They want to be on stages. They want to have bigger platforms, they they're not there yet. They don't know how to do it. So it's very, very easy for me to get on stage. You also have a really good pain point, because, you know, who doesn't want more PR for their business? That's that is literally a money maker for them. And so if you're, if you're getting on stage and talking about that, it's really all about positioning it to say, like, this is the problem I'm going to solve for you. And so, that's the first point. The second point is around the kinds of stages that you get on. Now we think of speaking as this very glamorous profession where you, you know you you show up, and you're in your best outfit, and people take pictures of you on a stage, and you're getting paid, and it's all really exciting. And I'm sure you have you the collective you right? You listening here, you probably have ideas of stages that you want to be on, South by Southwest, or, you know, Traffic and Conversion, or, you know, the the big stages in front of 1000s of people. And then there are the boring stages. There are stages like associations, the Association of chiropractors in Oregon, or the association of, you know, I don't know, realtors in Florida. They all need your services. They all have the same pain points and they're hungry. They really need good content. So if you go to speak there, there's way less competition, and you're gonna you're gonna get good practice, and you're probably gonna get clients out of it.


Lexie Smith  

Okay? I'm from Oregon, so I'm like, How does she know? Because


Marie Incontrera  

that was totally random.


Lexie Smith  

So funny. Live in California, from Oregon. I have a 503 code to this day. Love it. I mean, there's just, I could literally hold you hostage, because there's so many. You're a wealth of knowledge, and we're going to tell everyone where they can go to tap that knowledge deeper in a minute. But first, I have to ask you my signature show question that I'm deciding to carry with us into season seven, and we talked a lot about pitching on stages. I have to ask what we can find you sipping. So favorite beverage, it can be, you know, non alcoholic, alcoholic, whatever you drink. Yeah, love it.


Marie Incontrera  

So there is a and when you come to New York. I will, I will. We'll meet up and we'll have coffee here. My favorite place is two blocks away from me. It's called Ground Central, and they have an ice lavender latte that is just perfect. And lavender Yeah, latte, yeah. Lavender lattes are a thing out here, and this one is just like special. So that is my what you can catch me sippin. It's it keeps me going and keeps my brain, my brain, doing the thing that it needs to do. Sounds


Lexie Smith  

lovely, and it's first for the show. I honestly think the number one beverage that gets listed is water. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you can say whatever you want. I just Yeah. So this is more fun, an ice lavender latte. Okay, so if someone is going and picking up their ice lavender latte, and then they also want to reach out to you, where do we send them?


Marie Incontrera  

Well, you can go to my website in contrara.com, it's just my last name. You'll be able to find my my calendar link on there. You follow me on LinkedIn, find me on Facebook, Instagram, all the socials, or just, you know, shoot me an email. I'm I'm accessible. I'm always happy to have a conversation. I, you know, I make my living talking to people. So I'm always happy to just grab 20 minutes of time and have a have a chat.


Lexie Smith  

That's very generous of you. And thank you again for you know, coming on the show and me live pitching you totally putting you on the spot in a room full of public but I couldn't help but bring conversation to my audience and my stage, right? This is another form of a stage. So podcasts with that said, I will let you go. Guys, reach out to her, tell her thank you, ask her questions, let her know where you heard her. And until next time on the pitch in and sippin podcast to do.


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