73: Choose to try on "Hygge" this Winter

In this episode, we're going to be talking about one of my favorite ideas to enjoy the we  winter season.  I encourage all of us to choose to go “low and slow” as a way of life.

When you slow down in the colder months, embrace the practice of Hygge, and stay in community, you can reshape your life and experience  peaceful productivity.

• Hygee practices: 
  • Cultivate the habit of gratitude
  • Notice and enjoy the beauty of winter
  • Enjoy textures and fabrics for comfort and coziness
  • Prioritize winter light - lean into it instead of wishing it away
  • Make one tranquil corner
  • Add smells that soothe and bring comfort
  • Consider a hobby that celebrates life’s simple joys
  • Spread warmth and generosity
  • Stay in community 
• Links 
  • Calm App
  • Henry Cloud "Boundaries"
  • Podcast  “We Can Do Hard Things” 

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Well, hey, friends, this week we're going to be talking about some of the tools that we can use in this season of choosing to go low and slow as we create peaceful productivity. For many years in my life, that is not what I naturally did. I was a mom with three young children. They were all below sixth grade at one point and I was teaching kindergarten in the morning, I was a children's pastor. In the afternoon, I was driving them to all their activities, doing all of the homework, keeping up with the house, the food, all of the things hosting every event for my family of origin Christmas, easter, birthday parties and I was so constantly exhausted I was drinking more than two liters of Diet Coke a day, had constant migraines, was very sick and, along the way, found out things like boundaries by Dr Havartyry Cloud and eventually found my way to my first life coach. And so why I want to share all that with you today is we don't have to keep circling the mountain. We don't have to keep doing things the same way year after year and expect a different result. I'm recording this at the beginning of January, and my television is just flooded with ads for a green juice that could change my life, or a new exercise equipment that I could buy and bring to my house, and even if I don't currently have the physical energy to go to the gym, just purchasing this piece of equipment should change my life. Have you seen all those ads? I want to offer you a different way. I want this power thought to help you and I through this next season. I can choose peaceful productivity, I can go a little lower, a little slower. I can choose fewer things to do, I can spend less time on each action item, and I'm also really driven by the idea of HUGA HYGGE. It's the way Danish people really embrace winter, and so I'm going to share a few thoughts of HUGA with you, and I wonder if one or two of them will really match what you desire for this season.

Speaker 1: 1:51

So in my coaching program, we always start with noticing. So if you could, if it's safe to do so, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a few breaths and notice from a place of love. How are you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually? Do you need more rest? Do you need more activity? How are you noticing the thoughts that are going through your mind? Not every thought we think is true. Many of them are on repeat, and when I can notice one that I've been saying since maybe I was five years old, that isn't serving me, I just notice it, don't have to make it mean anything. Isn't that interesting, trying to stay in that curious energy, and then we can decide what's one or two small things we want to put our energy towards, and then, once that decision's made, let's choose a few small practices that serve us.

Speaker 1: 2:37

So if you're deciding this is the season to be peacefully productive, here are a few ideas from HUGA of the Danish practice of enjoying winter. First is cultivating a heart of thankfulness. Last New Year's Eve one of my friends gave me a gratitude journal and the next day I discovered I had COVID and one of the only things I had the energy to do for those few days is to just write down one or two, three few things that I was thankful for. How would you like to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness in this season? It could be taking a picture of something every day you enjoy and making sort of a visual diary. That's what I'm choosing to do. Maybe you want to use your journal. Maybe you want to just speak with a friend and say, hey, let's encourage each other to notice one, two, three things a week that we're thankful for. It's seeking solace in nature's beauty. Much of the suffering of life really comes from us wanting something that isn't currently true. To be true, we're in the beauty of winter, but we want it to be summer. We're in a season where we have more free time but we miss how busy we were. We're in a season where we're really busy and we miss the free time we had. What if we could just decide that, whatever day this is a rainy, sunny, snowy, windy day we're going to take solace in the beauty of nature? I love the calm app, and one of the most beautiful things they have is this like little clip where it's raining against a window and you just watch that rain and you breathe. What an interesting way to notice what each day could bring us in terms of peace, because that's my big, powerful thought for this season I can be productive from a place of peace.

Speaker 1: 4:13

Next, in Hugo, they talk about the comfort of textures and fabrics. Now, this is so easy for me. I'm a huge blanket person. If you go into any of my rooms, I'm going to have literally a big box or a big container full of different types of blankets. I love big, heavy blankets. I love anxiety blankets to sleep with. I love big, thick sweaters. What texture do you enjoy and is it available right now? Maybe it's a scarf around your neck, maybe it's a great pair of fuzzy socks.

Speaker 1: 4:40

The next habit is what hobbies are you currently pursuing? Now? They don't need to cost any money. It could be something that you started a while ago and you just wanna give it some more energy again. But I think all of us have noticed, since the advent of the iPhone and having a whole computer in your hand, many of the things we used to do that we really enjoyed get less of our time because we're spending so much time scrolling. So what's the hobby you'd like to give a little more attention to? I'm trying to give a little bit more attention to doing some watercolor.

Speaker 1: 5:07

I really do enjoy painting, celebrating life's simple joys. I love this podcast by Glenn and Doyle and Abby Wambach and one of the episodes they had this summer. It's called Do Hard Things, something like that. Abby said that she takes the time every single week to connect with five people. She might send them a voice memo, send them a text, send them a card. That's something I'd really like to bring into this new year. How could I just notice the people in my life that I'm thankful for and just celebrate with them these joys and victories?

Speaker 1: 5:36

Next, it's spreading warmth and generosity, and two of my daughters actually all my daughters did amazing things for me and gifts and time over the holiday. But one of them gave me specifically a gift card to buy flowers, because that's something that just brings me joy in the winter in particular. And another one one day said hey, I know you love getting a Starbucks coffee. I wanna pay for it. Just tell me where and when you wanna go. See how simple it is. The gift of a gift card to go get some flowers, the gift of just some time with you sometimes is one of the biggest gifts. Deciding that this season is one where you're gonna be spreading warmth and generosity it's going to impact us first, but again it's sending out that light into the world, honoring the traditions and weaving them into daily life.

Speaker 1: 6:18

I know many of us who celebrate Christmas put a lot of energy into the season of Advent, the season of getting ready, but then the season of Christmas actually begins on December 25th and it goes for 12 days to Epiphany, and that's the season we're supposed to celebrate Christmas. And my heart saw us like I was sad, right, I was sad to see how many people and I've been there. I'm not doing this from a place of judgment, I'm just noticing that many people put so much energy into Advent that they were actually completely tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, felt like the house was full of clutter and sort of ended the season of Christmas on the 26th. So that's a lot of energy to prepare for something and then you don't really get the time to just sit and enjoy it. So what's a winter holiday you might enjoy? Maybe it's Valentine's Day, maybe it's a birthday of somebody that you love? What if we choose the next big thing we wanna celebrate and put some time and energy into it in the preparation, but also allowing the time to actually stay and honor it and celebrate it?

Speaker 1: 7:17

Next is just sort of prioritizing winter light. So again, my daughters they've found this really neat thing. It's a light that you can purchase that slowly brings light in the morning. Right, it's a warm light and you use it instead of an alarm and it brightens your room in a way in the winter that normally happens in the summer and so that little bit of light, they're all noticing that their mornings are much easier. I haven't purchased it yet. It looks wonderful. I do things like I get battery operated candles and I keep them in my bathroom for bath and shower time. I love just sort of like twinkle lights and fairy lights and just being intentional in the winter with noticing what kind of light is something that you enjoy. It's probably not something really bright and stark the way that in the summer we often have.

Speaker 1: 8:06

Could you make one tranquil corner? I have a lot of books and I have an area in my house where I have bookshelves and then I also have like a twin bed so that if there's extra people sleeping here but I haven't set up more as a day bed and it just calls to me like come here and read. I have different chairs that sit in corners of my house where the sun hits it and again it's like come, sit here and rest. Is there an area of your life where you would like to make just sort of a tranquil corner that invites you and invites you what To peace, to rest, to feeling settled? And then the final two things I want to talk about are the five senses and spending time with people. So maybe you haven't noticed that you can really impact your own happiness with having around you things that you see that make you happy, sense that you enjoy things to touch that make you feel more comfortable at home, at peace.

Speaker 1: 9:03

I love essential oils for that reason and I've been using them for a long time. I use them in a medicinal way as well, but it really does sort of impact your home when you come in and there's a scent you know that you enjoy. Maybe it's lemon, maybe it's cinnamon. The gym I go to that's one of the things I love the most. I've been at yoga studios where they'll have some lavender or some other scent. That's really enjoyable. So think about that. You could put some fruit on your stove and boil some water with fruit and cinnamon and create a scent, or maybe it's a perfume you really enjoy.

Speaker 1: 9:34

But maybe this is the season where you decide I can't do some of the things that bring me a lot of joy. But I could do this. I could create a chair that calls me to come and sit with a blanket and there's some kind of scent that I really enjoy, and a book. Or I use my phone to call somebody. Whatever it is that you're noticing. I would love for you to decide that part of being peacefully productive is to center ourselves, to be able to be comfortable. That we deserve. We were created to have an abundant life. Right, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. He said. It came to give you a life, and a life that's more abundant. That's a powerful thought. So you and I could create these lives where these small moments are creating that sense of abundance.

Speaker 1: 10:21

Many of us have been taught, not intentionally but through commercials and through capitalism, that it's always about this big vacation we're going to take somewhere. And when we get to that vacation or sitting on the beach, that's when we're going to feel peace. And I think the Hugo culture says no, let's bring it back to us. What are the small practices that we can create in any season that connect with all of our five senses and bring us joy, bring us a centered, aligned, enthusiastic energy? And let's make that decision for this season. And then the final part of Hugo. So we have candles and the soft light, we have cozy, soft areas, we have warm blankets, we have just different oils and diffusers and smells. And books. Is community One of the most important things we can decide today is who are the five people we want to spend the most time with, because there's just so much evidence that the people we spend time with really impact us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Speaker 1: 11:20

So, again, find that place of aligned energy, close your eyes, take that breath. Who are the people that make you smile? Who are the people that you feel like, spur you on, believe in your dreams and are cheering you on? Let's make intentional time together, and it doesn't have to be really a big deal. I've had friends over and just served soup, because most of it is about the conversation. It doesn't have to be a perfect home. You could go and meet somewhere for a coffee, you could go for a walk. I even had a great time with my friend one night. We both just went to Whole Foods and went grocery shopping together. It wasn't a big grocery day, we just both had to pick up a few things, but we walked and we talked.

Speaker 1: 11:56

So what if you decide in this season of going a little lower, a little slower? You're going to set aside time for those few people that you want to spend more time with. That's why I created the coaching community that I've created. I've chosen not to just give one to one coaching time because I I've been in so many coaching communities when I've learned from someone else working with a coach and me watching that it helped me think of a thought I'd never thought of. It helped me see Something that I couldn't have seen unless someone else was open and receptive and curious and could share. And so if you're looking for community that's full of people just like you, who want to live a vibrant life, who want to remember their dreams, who want to choose On purpose, small decisions that create the results they want, I'd love to have you join my community.

Speaker 1: 12:42

We meet a couple times a week, sort of a lunch, and learn. You come at noon Eastern time. We have a little bit of a conversation. I share a coaching tool and then we have open space for you to journal, for you to remember what's important to you or, if you're feeling safe, to hold your hand up and get some live coaching. So you can learn more by going to kellytivetscom. I'm on Facebook. I'm on Instagram. Send me a DM. I'd love to chat and connect.

Speaker 1: 13:06

It's never too late to join. Everything that I share is recorded, so any week you join is the right week, but whatever you decide is the best for you in the season. Let's make one small decision. Maybe it's choosing to invest a little bit of energy and create that one spot in your home that just calls you to come and sit. Maybe it's deciding to dust off that journal that you were given a few years ago and spend a few intentional moments every day in gratitude. And Maybe it's choosing to say you know what? There is that scent, that essential oil, that perfume, that Candle that I just love and I'm gonna make sure I use it, because I do feel happier when I'm connected to what is important to me and I feel like that's such an important thing. Self-worthiness changes everything. You are important, you're 100% loved, 100% valuable. You can choose the small action steps that create productivity from a place of peace, and I think this is the right season to do it. I look forward to connecting next week. I