The Vibrant Life Podcast with Life Coach Kelly Tibbitts
Slow Down Your Brain! ( Episode 77)
Feb 13, 2024
Kelly Tibbitts
Have you ever considered that the secret to increasing your productivity might actually involve slowing down? In this episode, I share both the reasoning behind the idea of slowing down your brain and practical tools to help you do it! Join me in embracing the gentle power of peaceful productivity.
Main points:
Notice that different levels of energy are needed in different seasons - not just weather season, but seasons of life, career, and activities
Notice what things bring you energy and what things exhaust you
Acknowledge that chaotic, chronic, urgent energy negatively impacts your health, decreases effectiveness, and increases mistakes
Rushing doesn’t lead to getting more done - just making more mistakes and costing more time in the long run!
Links
Jenni Catron is a guest on my podcast on episode 13
Have you ever considered that the secret to increasing your productivity might actually involve slowing down? In this episode, I share both the reasoning behind the idea of slowing down your brain and practical tools to help you do it! Join me in embracing the gentle power of peaceful productivity.
Main points:
Notice that different levels of energy are needed in different seasons - not just weather season, but seasons of life, career, and activities
Notice what things bring you energy and what things exhaust you
Acknowledge that chaotic, chronic, urgent energy negatively impacts your health, decreases effectiveness, and increases mistakes
Rushing doesn’t lead to getting more done - just making more mistakes and costing more time in the long run!
Links
Jenni Catron is a guest on my podcast on episode 13
Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm Life Coach Kelly Tibbets, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self-awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self-awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Hey friends, today we're going to be talking about another tool in the going low and slow to create peaceful productivity series, and the idea behind this one was very important to me, because I'm someone who tends to move quickly through life. I think quickly, I can read and discern quickly, and sometimes that serves me, but sometimes it moves me away from the results that I want, and one of the values of my company is that I desire to be someone that helps you create expeditious results. That word means to go quickly, but not rush, so today we're going to talk about what do you need in order to slow down your brain? I became a Life Coach because my first Life Coach actually transformed my life. I was able to hire a Life Coach in a season where I was leading an organization and I had never been the person in charge of everything. Before I had been an educator and a pastor. I had led in the nonprofit world, but this was an organization with a half a million dollar budget and because I had not done anything to this level before, the team that I was serving with hired a Life Coach for me, and as she and I began to work together, one of the first things she helped me discern is my why. Why do I think and feel and do life the way I do? Why do I say yes to these requests and no to those? And I wasn't a very self aware leader before my time with her, and her name is Jenny Ketron. She's one of the people who I've interviewed on my podcast. I'll link it in the notes below, but what I learned there was that, as an enneagram too, my deep motivation was I wanted to be seen as helpful, sometimes at my own expense. Sometimes, when it was right for me to say a yes or no, I was saying something different in order to be more compliant, to be seen as agreeable, and so working with her helped me create an expeditious result. I was able to learn more about myself by working with her for six sessions than I probably ever would have done by reading books and going to conferences Like her.
Kelly Tibbitts:
One on one attention changed my life and working with her made me have sort of those big aha moments that we have in life. I decided I would like to do this. I would like to be a life coach, and so since then I have been working in different you know fits and spurts at this company and learning different pieces and going to conferences and reading books and having coaches myself, and over these last few years I've taken that information and tried to create a system that I would have appreciated back when I began working with my first coach. I created expeditious results for the people who work for me. I can sort of hold your hand and help you move forward at a rate that serves you. But at the same time I realized that one of the big things I need to do is always pay attention to am I in that fast and frenetic energy, or am I going low and slow enough to be productive, but in a peaceful way? And so the idea of slowing down my brain really resonates with me. It may resonate with you, it may not, but I still want to offer the tool for you.
Kelly Tibbitts:
So we've been talking a little bit about the fact that the energy of each season is very, very different. So how you feel in the middle of June might be very different from how you feel in January. I know that some of the people that I connect with on a regular basis don't live in New England and so their seasonal experiences are different than mine. But I also think back to my own life and there were seasons when I was a mom with three young children who were in school, and another season where I was an educator and a different season where I was a pastor, and each of those roles also had different seasons. So as a pastor, we had Christmas in Easter and Vacation, bible School. As a teacher, I had these different quarters where I had to introduce new curriculum or I had to have grades in by a certain time in parent conferences. So recognizing that different seasons have different requirements for your energy is so, so key.
Kelly Tibbitts:
Once we notice that, then we begin to notice am I then trying to push through a season with saying yeses and noes that, for instance, in the middle of June it's fun for me to do something at 7 o'clock at night? I don't mind driving when it's not too dark out In the middle of January, when it's really, really cold and icy we got a snow squall yesterday. I do not want to be driving at 7 o'clock at night. It feels harder for me. I will do it if I need to, but it's not a choice I make on a regular basis.
Kelly Tibbitts:
And you might notice the same thing about your energy. So once we are aware that our energy is variable right, some days it's high, some days it's low different things impact it we can begin to notice what things bring us more energy and which things exhaust us. So one way to notice is just if it's safe to do so, close your eyes, take those deep, cleansing breaths that I'm always asking us to do and, just with your hand on your heart, from a place of love, check in. How are you, how is your energy today? One of the most important things I've learned to believe is that, no matter what my energy is like today, I'm 100% valuable, 100% loved. Just breathing in and breathing out is all that is required. So the work that I choose to do, the work that I want to do, is always a gift. I get to do it, but it's not required in order to make me more loved, more valuable. And so, when I truly believe that, when I'm in my aligned, enthusiastic energy, I'm going to make choices that keep me in that aligned energetic energy that I want to be an enthusiastic, productive, excited.
Kelly Tibbitts:
But sometimes, when I'm not paying attention and this happens to all of us I end up in sort of a chaotic, chronic, urgent energy and it has an impact on me and it probably has an impact on you, not just in your physical health but your mental health, your effectiveness. Sometimes, when we move so quickly, we end up making silly mistakes that end up costing us time. I can't tell you how many times I mean to put my headphones that I use when I go for a walk back where they belong and I come in, I get distracted, I put them somewhere else and the time that it takes to go back and find them instead of doing it right. The first time we talk about this a lot, do one thing, do it right, then move on. So today, what can we do to slow down our brain and why would we even want to do it?
Kelly Tibbitts:
As my business partner, ellen, and I were talking through this series, we were looking at some of the research that has been around since the 1970s that says that in this constant state of hurry, humans make themselves sick. So if right now, when your hand is on your heart and you're checking in with yourself and you're realizing you have this like urgent, frenetic energy kind of running through you, I don't have time to just sit and pause and be still and breathe, I will listen to a podcast while I'm doing something else. Maybe you're noticing that you tend to run at a rate that's just not productive, that's not peaceful, it's causing you to be physically sick, mentally overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted. Maybe that's the big decision today. What can you do? What can I do to decide to slow down our brain, to choose to stop working so quickly that there's errors and that we're just not as effective, and instead to decide what is it that I need?
Kelly Tibbitts:
And there's so many different things. I don't know which tool you might need, but let's talk about a few of them, because one of them is probably going to serve you, the former pastor and a former educator. I just love things like monomic devices and using one letter to help us remember things. So for us to decide today that we do not want to run through life in a fast and frenetic energy that's causing us to be sick, that's causing us to be overwhelmed and depleted. We're going to decide to focus on the letter S and the tools that we can use that begin with the letter S Silence, stillness, solitude, singing, sabbath, strolling another word for walking. Think about what part of you your mind, your body, your emotions, your finances where would you like to focus some energy right now in this season? Is it on some relational health? Is it on creating a home you love coming home to? Is it filling your own soul with sunshine Of all the different areas of life that you could give energy? Where would you like to spend less of that fast and frenetic energy and decide to walk with more of a low and slow, peaceful, productive energy?
Kelly Tibbitts:
So one of the things that I do on repeat is on Sundays, I try to make it a day of Sabbath, a day of rest and rejoicing of doing things that bring me joy. I did not begin this by having 24 hours in my calendar where I could just set aside time to enjoy my own life. It started with a half day and then it moved to like three quarters of a day and then eventually it became something that most weeks I set apart one day and I try not to work on that day and I try not to do anything that depletes my energy. I try to think of things that will fill me up and almost every single one of those Sabbath days I probably need a nap, because I'm almost always a little bit physically tired. But then I have to notice. Do I want some scripture? Do I want some sounds? Do I want to sing? What are you noticing? What would you like if you had a day set apart to just fill your own soul with sunshine? What would you like?
Kelly Tibbitts:
That's one of the ways to slow down in our brain is to have, on a consistent basis, a day where we pause and rest and we're not constantly running and feeling like there's no way to catch up. And the more we practice slowing down our brain, the more we're able to notice when we're going past capacity. If it's constantly a state we're in and, believe me, the reason I needed a life coach is that was the state I was constantly in Somehow I had all these balls in the air to be a mom, to be the room mom for their class parties, to be working at my church, to be working at their school, to be serving in some nonprofit roles and making dinner and keeping my house clean, trying to have friendships and also a marriage and the family of origin that I had. I would host all of our events. I look back on that time and my heart just goes out to that version of me, because she was so, so, so exhausted, and by far the person who was paying the price was me. I had constant headaches, my stomach was constantly sick and I just didn't have that place of love for myself that I have now to stop and notice and say what is it that I need? And so I'm going to tell you one of the tools that I use.
Kelly Tibbitts:
Sometimes I notice that I'm feeling frustrated, annoyed, resentful, angry, and if I can go in the car and play a song that I just love and sing it loudly, almost sometimes to the point of screaming, I can release the energy that is sort of sitting in my body. So I think screaming sometimes is an ideal way to help you slow down your brain again. Sometimes the thoughts are just racing and racing and you might need to sit down and just write them out, but sometimes you might first need to just move the energy out of your body, and so it could be an exercise class. I discovered kickboxing when my middle daughter went to college and that was a great way to move the energy in my body. But sometimes you're just at a place where you just need some silence, some stillness, some solitude. So another tool I have is I've gone to Michael's and I got some of those battery operated candles and at night I will make the bathroom very, very dark, you know, shut off all the lights except for the candles. Half a bath, silence, stillness, solitude all rolled into one.
Kelly Tibbitts:
Whatever it is that you need, you might need to just start practicing and notice. Sometimes on a Sunday I need this, but sometimes on a Wednesday I need to invite a friend to meet me for some tea and the two of us need to have a deep conversation, because I have a lot of thoughts running in my head and the right way to move them through is to have a conversation with someone. Whatever it is you need, today's goal is to notice. Do you need to slow down your brain? Are you moving too quickly in order to do it in a healthy way and live that vibrant life that we all are created to live?
Kelly Tibbitts:
I think one of the things that coaching has helped me understand is that there are words that describe feelings that many of us, especially women, have been taught are not helpful Things like guilt and fear and anger, and I just want to say that those three words describe body information that's important for you to notice. If you are feeling angry, nothing's gone wrong. You are not bad or wrong to feel angry. Anger is your body saying there is a boundary that's important to you and it's been crossed. And if we can use the information that our body is giving us in order to make better decisions, that is incredibly helpful.
Kelly Tibbitts:
A lot of us use the word fear I know I sometimes still do it as well to describe something that may happen in the future. That's not fear, that's worry. Fear is if we're outside walking and there's actually a bear walking down the street and looking at you and you have the ability to run to your house and get inside before the bear gets to you. What a gift fear would be. Guilt is not the same thing as shame. Guilt is if you or I did something that was not great. I always use the example of texting while driving and then hitting somebody's mailbox. We would feel terribly guilty that our eyes were not on the road and that feeling would help us to not do it again, but shame is so different. Shame is saying something you said or something you did makes you less valuable, and if there's anything that keeps us from being able to create peaceful productivity, it's shame. And so shame goes away when we can reconnect to the truth of who we are, how 100% loved. You truly are 100% valuable. The things you've done that you don't want to do anymore great. Let's make a plan and work on that. But nothing we do or don't do ever diminishes the value that we have just for being humans. So, in order to slow down our brain, the starting point is to notice you're already 100% loved, 100% valuable. Nothing more is needed From that place. What would you like this week? Would you like to slow down your brain? Would you like to create a few more action steps and assign a time, a space and a place to make sure that action step happens?
Kelly Tibbitts:
Many times, the people that I'm coaching are not deciding to not do the things that are important, because they just are lazy and procrastinators. Generally, there's a gap between where they are and where they want to be. The energy just doesn't match, and so for our energy to increase, we're going to need some coaching tools to help us increase our energy Always start with rest. Rest and then work is an important thought. Once you've rested, then you get to check in and say what do I need? Maybe I need to go out and have some relational time with that person that helps fill my soul. Or maybe I need some time alone, and only you will know, and it's so nuanced that it could be different today, tomorrow and the day after that. So that's why I love to invite you to my coaching community. We hold space every single week for you to notice what's important to you and then give it the aligned energy that will help you move that goal forward.
Kelly Tibbitts:
If you're ready to have a community that can help you create results from a place of peaceful productivity, with your brain slow down so that you're sleeping well at night, you're not constantly multitasking, you're not constantly worried that you forgot something important, you should join us.
Kelly Tibbitts:
You can head over to kellytibbittscom that's T-I-B-B-I-T-T-S dot com and let me know that you'd like to join. I have made this group coaching program so affordable. I want you to be able to invest your best energy in you and your dreams, and I want you to have a community of people who are just as passionate as you are, a community to cheer you on and help you move those goals forward. So head over to my website. You could also send me a message on Facebook or Instagram. I'll be back next week with another tool. I can't wait to talk to you then. Thank you for joining the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encouraged you and will equip you with the tools you need to move your life into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life, and if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, kelly Tibbitts Life Coach, or visit my website, kellytibbittscom. I look forward to connecting again soon.