Ever wondered why even the best-laid plans tend to go awry? You aim for the stars, yet never seem to leave the launchpad. Is it fate, or could distorted thinking be the silent saboteur lurking in your psyche? I am here to shine a light on this critical aspect of our minds and how it can profoundly impact our lives. We delve into the labyrinth of self-limiting beliefs and distorted thinking patterns that tie us down, preventing us from achieving our full potential. Together, let's decode these self-imposed barriers and learn how to shape our thoughts to manifest the lives we truly desire.
As we dig deeper, we'll face our tendency to overgeneralize, a common pitfall that feeds distorted thinking. Let’s explore how to identify and replace these overgeneralizations to regain control of our thoughts and actions. I'll also share insights about the power of the reticular activating system and how it can be your ally in manifesting the life you crave. • And here's the fun part, I challenge you to join me in the Selfish Mom Challenge—an exciting initiative to prioritize your mental and physical health. In this endeavor, you'll get weekly workouts, custom meal plans, and access to the Selfish Mom chat group—all for only $25! Follow me on TikTok and Instagram for all the details and more. Trust me; there's an exciting announcement you wouldn't want to miss! • For more information on the “Invest Your Best” online coaching AVAILABLE NOW visit: https://www.investyourbestwithalikay.com/ ~ ~ Website: https://www.investyourbestwithalikay.com/
Ever wondered why even the best-laid plans tend to go awry? You aim for the stars, yet never seem to leave the launchpad. Is it fate, or could distorted thinking be the silent saboteur lurking in your psyche? I am here to shine a light on this critical aspect of our minds and how it can profoundly impact our lives. We delve into the labyrinth of self-limiting beliefs and distorted thinking patterns that tie us down, preventing us from achieving our full potential. Together, let's decode these self-imposed barriers and learn how to shape our thoughts to manifest the lives we truly desire.
As we dig deeper, we'll face our tendency to overgeneralize, a common pitfall that feeds distorted thinking. Let’s explore how to identify and replace these overgeneralizations to regain control of our thoughts and actions. I'll also share insights about the power of the reticular activating system and how it can be your ally in manifesting the life you crave. • And here's the fun part, I challenge you to join me in the Selfish Mom Challenge—an exciting initiative to prioritize your mental and physical health. In this endeavor, you'll get weekly workouts, custom meal plans, and access to the Selfish Mom chat group—all for only $25! Follow me on TikTok and Instagram for all the details and more. Trust me; there's an exciting announcement you wouldn't want to miss! • For more information on the “Invest Your Best” online coaching AVAILABLE NOW visit: https://www.investyourbestwithalikay.com/ ~ ~ Website: https://www.investyourbestwithalikay.com/
Welcome to season four of the Invest Your Best podcast with Ali K. Come along as I casually explore what it takes to live your best life, mentally and physically, by focusing on the things you can control your thinking and actions. Come and listen as I have open, real and honest conversations about what it takes to step into action to live your best life. It's time to invest your best. All right, all right, welcome to the Invest Your Best podcast. I'm your host, ali K.
Speaker 2:
And on today's episode, i want to talk to you about how you can break through your distorted thinking in order to accomplish your goals and live the life that you truly want to live. If you think about it, there is not a lot that we have control over. Really, we don't have any control except what our thoughts are, and it's really our thinking and our actions that we have complete control over, and a lot of the times, our thoughts happen to be distorted. These thoughts are not truly what's going on, the true reality of things, and these thoughts create our reality and our perception. And so I really want to break down what distorted thinking is, how you can get control over your distorted thinking, to think new thoughts, so you can get control over your life today and really power through and accomplish the goals and the life that you want to live. So stick around, i want you to really think about it. We don't have any control over a lot of things And we all want control. Even if you can't really admit that to yourself, we are all seeking control, and I know you've heard the saying where people say you know really the only control you have over, like you don't have control over other people, but you have control over how you react to them, right? And it really starts with your thoughts. What you're telling yourself, what you tell yourself, influences your perception, it creates your reality. Then, based upon your thoughts, that influences your day to day actions, the choices you make, and it all influences your feelings. You know, it's just one big cycle that truly starts with your thoughts, what you're telling yourself. And if you remember a couple episodes, i really broke down what the reticular activating system is, and this is something that, once you fully understand how this system in the brain works, it's like mind blowing and you're aware of it And you're like, oh, this is my reticular activating system, i see it, i get it.
Speaker 2:
So the reticular activating system is a system in your brain And what it is is that there is so much information around us right, if you think about it, there's so much going on that your brain can only filter and process some of that information It can't process at all. So the reticular activating system in the brain only filters information that is relevant to you. So it only brings in the information that it knows to bring in, that will support what's relevant to you. So if you are constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough. Your reticular activating system will filter the information around you like a situation. It will just filter the information that will support that thought that's relevant to you And then again this will create your reality. It will create your perception. So let's just say, if your, your reality or what's relevant to you is that you know your, you're the smelliest person alive, i don't know, that's probably like the worst example ever, i don't know. Think of your always finishing last, or the world is just, it hates you. Your reticular activating system will find this information to support this relevant thought of yours. So The good thing about this is that it shows that we have so much control over our reality based upon our thoughts, and a lot of times, from childhood, in our subconscious, we find ourselves in these patterns of thinking, distorted thoughts.
Speaker 2:
These thoughts aren't necessarily the reality of things, but, believe me, once you learn different distorted thinking, which I'll break down to you, you'll be able to recognize these patterns and become aware of them, and then you can replace them with positive thinking, and not so much like positive thinking, but more realistic thinking. So I want to break down what distorted thinking is, because your distorted thinking is hindering you from being the person you want to be. It's getting in the way of you living the life you want to live and accomplishing the goals you want to accomplish. Because it all starts with our thinking, what we're telling ourselves, and that influences our actions. And it starts with becoming aware and recognizing the patterns of distorted thinking. So I just want to break down a couple common distorted thoughts that you might be like oh, i see myself thinking this, i get this.
Speaker 2:
So the first distorted thought that I want to call and break down for you is self-limiting beliefs. Now, these are thinking patterns that are kind of just telling yourself you're not good enough. Let's just say a self-limited belief might be. You're a mom and you constantly tell yourself that you are too busy to start working out, to start prioritizing your mental and physical health. So every time that you might think you want to start this lifestyle change, you tap into yourself limited belief and you tell yourself oh no, you can't do that because you're a mom and you're too busy. Or you might be telling yourself that you can only start this wellness journey and really prioritize your mental and physical health if you have money, because if you had money then you can get babysitters and then you can buy all the organic food and then you can get that gym membership. So, therefore, you never step into action because you're just telling yourself this self-limited belief that you have to have money to start this wellness journey, which is not true, but you've told yourself this belief that's really limited you into stepping into action. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:
I used to tell myself a self-limited belief that I used to tell myself all the time is that I have to be graduated by college, i have to have a master's, i have to go through all this education in order to start whatever career I wanted to start, and that was a self-limited belief that I truly thought was real. That I had to have all the diplomas, all the education, i had to be perfect in my craft before I could start anything. And I held myself back for so many years because I truly believe this self-limited belief. And that was just a personal, self-limited belief that really held me back. So that's an example, one aspect of distorted thinking that you might recognize within yourself, that you're telling yourself that might be holding you back from living the life you want to live or accomplishing the goals that you want to accomplish. But I think the most common that I see, especially amongst my coaching clients who want to start this healthy lifestyles they're telling themselves that they're too busy, that they're a mom and they don't have the help they don't have the babysitters or they don't have the funds to buy this food and all the memberships and all this stuff. Therefore, they can't even do anything. So I just want to give you that information so you can recognize what a self-limited belief is, and it's just one of those distorted patterns of thinking that if you recognize now, you can change it.
Speaker 2:
Another distorted thinking which I talk a lot about, especially to my coaching clients, is that all or nothing thinking. This is probably the most common distorted thinking that I find within myself, that I've really had to become aware of and really consciously work on, even to this day. So the all or nothing thinking is where it either has to be perfect or it goes to nothing. So it's either perfect or you're doing nothing, and a lot of the times I see this with people who want to start losing weight or they wanna start a healthy lifestyle. We all think that we have to do this extreme diet And this is one of the reasons why these diets don't last because people tap into that all or nothing distorted thinking, where they think, okay, i have to follow this meal plan perfectly, i can't eat this, i can't do this, i have to get this hour of workout in every single day.
Speaker 2:
And then what happens is people can do that for like four days, you know, and the perfect example of this is New Year's Day, you know, when you start that New Year's resolution, january 1st, here I am, i'm at the gym, i have to do this hour workout, then I have to eat perfectly these meals and I can't eat this. And then what happens is like you're doing it Monday, tuesday, wednesday, and then by Thursday you have like a bite of brownie, or you order pizza and you ate the pizza and you're like, holy shit, i'm not doing it perfectly. And then what happens is you just resort to nothing because you're not doing it perfectly. That's that all or nothing thinking, where it's either perfect or it's nothing. And really what I believe in, especially when it comes to, you know, starting a healthy lifestyle and I talk about this all the time with my clients is like just commit to the bare minimum. What is that bare? you wanna make a change? Okay, start really small. Start building those habits, those small changes. Start habit stacking so that you create a sustainable lifestyle, because this all or nothing where it has to be perfect or it's nothing is, it's distorted thinking And it creates this reality that truly doesn't work in your favor because it's not sustainable.
Speaker 2:
Another example of this is going back to where I thought I had to have all this education in order to start a career. I thought, you know, it had to always be perfect, like my execution, like whether it was I don't like was staging. I never knew that you could start a business and have a learning curve to it, like you just don't start a business and become perfect, like you can't possibly know everything and be perfect when you start a business. You learn as you go And I think that's really helped me change that all or nothing thinking where, like, perfection does not exist, and that's that all you know. There is gray area. It's not always black and white And there is not always perfect, and when it's not perfect, we don't have to resort to nothing.
Speaker 2:
I really find this in my brother, who's a musician. You know he'll record and record and record the song over and, over and over again, and rather than releasing the music, he feels like he needs to keep recording it until it's like perfect. And then what happens is he never puts the song out, and it's frustrating because it's like JR, it's good enough, just put that song out, you know, even though it's not perfect, in your mind at least you're getting something out. But in his mind he's thinking it has to be perfect. And then what happens is he resorts to nothing, he doesn't release that song. So that's kind of an example. If you guys are, you should go follow Ocean's These on Instagram and tell them to release the songs, because he is a perfect example, especially when it comes to the music is you know, we're chasing that perfection that all you know it has to be.
Speaker 2:
All in that type of thinking where you know we, as a result, we don't move, we don't make moves because we're trapped in that all or nothing, distorted thinking. And when you recognize this, this all or nothing, you truly break through this pattern and really can make the next move forward. Another example of distorted thinking is negative filtering. So this is something where you're constantly I'm guilty of the negative filtering, and I'll tell you when my negative filtering, distorted thinking, happens, it's when I look at myself in the mirror. I am guilty of looking at myself in the mirror and coming from that negative filtering thinking where I am just picking myself apart And I know that I'm not the only one where it's like you look in the mirror and you're seeing your stretch marks, and then you're seeing the saggy boobs, and then you're seeing the shelf where your stomach is, that C-section shelf, and then you're looking down where you see the cellulite and it's just like one thing after the other. Because you're coming from that negative perspective, that negative filtering, and going back to that reticular activating system. Your reticular activating system is going to keep filtering all the negatives about your body to support that because it's relevant to you. So I really encourage you stop next time you're looking at yourself in the mirror and try to focus on your strengths. And this takes practice and this can be really painful for people to do, but I really encourage you, rather than coming from that negative filtering perspective, when you look at yourself from the mirror, look at yourself and look at your strengths. Like dang, my stomach carried my baby is like, oh, my boobs, they're still here, you know. Oh, look, i got a little curve in my hips. You know, come from that opposite perspective of the negative filtering and watch how your brain will start to filter all the positive things, because that's what's relevant to you in that moment. And so when we come from that negative filtering, distorted thinking, guess what? Our brain is just going to filter all the negative things. And I promise you we are all trapped in this type of distorted thinking that we got to become aware of it in order to change it.
Speaker 2:
Another example of distorted thinking is called overgeneralization. So, again, this is where you tell yourself things, you overgeneralize and you tell yourself these overgeneralized thoughts. So one example is, i know, like with movement, i used to hate running. Or I told myself I hated running. Therefore, i told myself that I hated working out, and this was years ago. I just never clicked with running and I think that was the only type of workout that I ever did like as a teenager, going into college. Therefore, because I didn't like running, i overgeneralized and I didn't like movement And I told myself that over and over again. Therefore, i never worked out.
Speaker 2:
Versus, you know, really getting in touch with reality and telling myself realistically like hey, ally, there's other types of movements out there, just because you don't like running doesn't mean that you don't like all types of movement. That's an example of overgeneralization. Let's say you go to the gym one day and you had an embarrassing moment because you didn't know how to like move the machine forward or backwards. Guys, this happens to me all the time. But an example of overgeneralized, distorted thinking would be telling yourself that you don't know how to work any of the equipment. Therefore, every time you go to the gym, you are going to be embarrassed. You know you're overgeneralizing from that one experience or that one moment. Or let's say, you step outside your comfort zone and you socialize and you just you had a bad experience one time socializing. So therefore, you tell yourself oh, you're not, you're socially awkward. You know you're overgeneralizing based upon one experience or one idea. You know you're overgeneralizing it.
Speaker 2:
And again, we're all guilty of these distorted thinking patterns and the goal is to start recognizing them so you can be like aha, that's distorted thinking. Okay, so the thing with distorted thinking is we're all guilty of it, but the power behind it is when we get control over our thoughts, we get control over our actions, and that's really the only things we can truly control in our everyday life And we're all guilty of distorted thinking And once you start recognizing them, you can start replacing these thoughts and really pushing forward to achieve your goals. So I just wanted to give a quick breakdown of distorted thinking. This is my episode for today Very short, very sweet.
Speaker 2:
I really encourage you to do more research on the reticular activating system. I feel like I explain it poorly, but the more you understand that your brain truly only filters information that is relevant to you, it makes all the difference. Because if you wake up and you tell yourself I'm going to have a shitty day today, your reticular activating system is just going to filter the information around you that will support you that you're having a shitty day. Versus if you wake up and you tell yourself, hey, today will be an okay day, you'll start filtering that information. Or if you start living delusionally that delusional thinking where you're like I wake up and I tell myself, i'm the prettiest girl ever, i'm telling you that has power behind the delusional thinking, because your brain will truly filter that information around you to support your delusional thoughts. Your brain works for you. So really, what you tell yourself is what your reality will be. That will be your perception, your reality and that will be ultimately your life and what you attract. There's so much power behind it and I feel like I say this a lot The world works for us. It doesn't work against us, and the more we tell ourselves that, the more we will see that in our everyday lives. So I hope you can start identifying your distorted thoughts, because once you replace them, i'm telling you, you are one step closer to achieving your goals and living the life you want to live.
Speaker 2:
Alright, this has been another episode of the Invest Your Best Podcast with Allie Kay. Thanks so much for tuning in. Hey guys, i have a selfish mom challenge starting on July 10th. What is a selfish mom challenge? I am going to tell you. So I am trying to put a positive spin on what it means to be a selfish mom. A lot of times in today's society, moms feel selfish when we take time for ourselves And really ourselves are all we have, and in society, like being selfless has been glorified. It's like, oh, that's the goal to be selfless, but really when we prioritize our mental and physical health first so that we can be our best selves, to give our best selves to our kids, our loved ones and to everything around us. That's ultimately the most selfless thing that we can do. So I started a selfish mom challenge And it's all about how to take small steps to build habits to prioritize your mental and physical health, and I wanted to do it in a fun way.
Speaker 2:
So how it works is you are part of a group on my personalized app And in the group you are required to work out three out of the seven days each week And there's six weeks in this challenge, so it's a 15 minute movement. You can do whatever you want. You just have to submit your recorded workout to the group so everyone can see your workout. That's the motivating part. And then every Sunday, you check in with me on a questionnaire that gets sent to you. That's just the participation requirement. After that, i have a point system. So how you get points is by participating in the group. You can answer my discussion questions to get points. You can respond to someone else's post or their workout. You can take sweaty selfies. You can tag me on Instagram. That's one way how to get posts. You can send pictures of your shakes And really what's happening is this group, this community, is getting built so that other people can see other people truly putting in the work to build habits and they get motivated. So it's a win-win. At the end of the six weeks I am giving away cash prizes for participation, the best transformation six weeks before and after transformation, and also second, third, fourth and fifth place for participation points.
Speaker 2:
What you get when you join the Selfish Mom Challenge you get custom workouts, custom meal plans to you. You get healthy snack PDF, alcohol-free PDFs. You get a bare minimum action calendar. If you're someone who wants to just check off each day as you go, i give you a downloadable PDF. You get 24 seven chat with me on the app. Guys, this like value is insane. And also you get the weekly check in with me and you just get access to the app, the group all on your phone for this challenge And it's a six week challenge.
Speaker 2:
If you are interested, go on my Instagram, message me challenge. I will give you more information. It is going to be under $100 every day up until July 10th. I am giving like flash buy-in prices for it and I've been doing a lot of lives on Instagram and TikTok, so if you find me on a live, most likely you are going to get the best deal ever when you sign up from the live or message me and say, hey, i heard you on the podcast and you know what I'm going to give it away.
Speaker 2:
Okay, this is what I'm going to do for those listening to the podcast. I'm giving the selfish mom challenge away for $25. Message me, say you heard it on the podcast and I will let you buy in for $25 24 seven, chat with me weekly, check in with me, access to the selfish mom chat group. You get weekly or workouts, custom meal plans, all the downloadable PDFs so much great value, especially if you just want to start prioritizing your mental and physical health first, come join the selfish mom challenge. You can find me on TikTok, instagram And yeah, i think that's it. Thanks again for listening to today's episode. I will see you next week and I have something really exciting coming up, so stick around for that when I announce what's coming next for the investor best podcast.
