the Selfish Mom Podcast
Navigating Putting Your Happiness on Hold & the Limbo Phase into Living The Life You Want Today
On this solo episode, Ali discusses her limbo phase along with answering questions.
Ever felt like you're continually postponing your own happiness, waiting for that elusive 'perfect moment'? You're not alone. This podcast is a soul-stirring journey through my own struggle with self-worth, postpartum weight gain, and the fear that kept me from chasing my dreams. I'll candidly share how I finally stepped into action, chasing my dreams instead of waiting for life to happen.
Motherhood, work, relationships - managing all three can feel like walking a tightrope. As I reveal my 'hustle girl' era and the birth of my third son, you'll see how my values shifted and how I learned to prioritize my family's needs while living off a single income. With personal anecdotes and hard-won wisdom, I'll also navigate through the rocky terrains of relationships and personal motivation. Through heartening conversations and enlightening insights, I hope to inspire you too to stop putting your happiness on hold and start living the life you truly want.
On this solo episode, Ali discusses her limbo phase along with answering questions.
Ever felt like you're continually postponing your own happiness, waiting for that elusive 'perfect moment'? You're not alone. This podcast is a soul-stirring journey through my own struggle with self-worth, postpartum weight gain, and the fear that kept me from chasing my dreams. I'll candidly share how I finally stepped into action, chasing my dreams instead of waiting for life to happen.
Motherhood, work, relationships - managing all three can feel like walking a tightrope. As I reveal my 'hustle girl' era and the birth of my third son, you'll see how my values shifted and how I learned to prioritize my family's needs while living off a single income. With personal anecdotes and hard-won wisdom, I'll also navigate through the rocky terrains of relationships and personal motivation. Through heartening conversations and enlightening insights, I hope to inspire you too to stop putting your happiness on hold and start living the life you truly want.
Welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast, a podcast for you, so you don't get burnt out like a mother. I'm your host, ali K, and this is the Selfish Mom Podcast. Learn to prioritize your mental and physical health first, so we can thrive and not just survive. Let's take action, become our best selves together and redefine selfish as the most selfless thing we could do.
Speaker 2:Today's episode is going to be the most random episode, but I promise you there's going to be a lot of good stuff in it. I'm going to give you a solo episode today. I asked you guys to ask me some questions or some things you want to hear on social media, so I'm going to be answering those questions. They're good too. They're really random, they're all over the place, but they're good. And I'm also just going to give you an update as far as what's going on with me, because I feel like I have been in such a limbo phase. It's like all my values have really shifted the past year. You know, who I thought I was a year ago is completely different than who I am today and just with what I envisioned for myself, my family, my kids, my marriage has all shifted and I feel like I'm trying to build this new life, physically and actual, actually, like metaphorically and actually, and I'm trying to like transition my life to be the life I really want to live. But I'm still like stuck living this old life that doesn't really line like a line with what it is I want and, as a result, I feel like I'm in limbo, like I can't make my next move. But I've also felt we're just reflecting on this that I think this is me putting my happiness on hold again and I kind of want to step back. I know this is like all over the place, but I kind of just want to explain this whole putting your happiness on hold, because it's something that I have become aware that I do and I think you might realize you might be doing the same thing as well. And once you become aware that you are putting your happiness on hold, it's easier to step into action, like to make a change, and you can make that change today.
Speaker 2:But the first time I ever really acknowledged that I was putting my happiness on hold was after I had my second son. That's when I had a very, very large amount of weight to lose and it wasn't just the weight. Like everything had changed in my life in the sense where, like, I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, I physically couldn't even keep up with my kids, I couldn't really walk, I was really just out of shape. I was really down and out mentally. I was really against myself, my self-talk was really negative, I was just fighting my own self rather than getting on the same side of myself and, as a result, I was slowly not allowing myself to be happy. I was punishing myself, and there are so many occasions that come up into my mind when I think of putting my happiness on hold.
Speaker 2:And I don't know what it is with trips, like taking a vacation. I always go to extremes where I have to purchase a couple new outfits Back in the day. It was like going on forever 21 and spending $200. And it was basically like a whole new vacation wardrobe. And I'm still guilty of doing this here and there. But for some reason I associate vacations with a new wardrobe and looking your best and feeling your best and cute pictures and all the things. And this was like five years ago, four years ago, and I just remember thinking to myself I can't take a vacation anytime soon because I'm not who I want to be yet. Therefore, I can't take a vacation. Or like.
Speaker 2:We used to live in this neighborhood where we had a community pool and my kids loved going to that pool and it was a very social pool too, like all the other families were there in the neighborhood, the kids, you know. People would be listening to music, drinking. It was very social and I just remember being like I am not going to the pool, I'm not getting on a bathing suit, I'm not swimming with my kids, because I don't feel my best. You know I'm not my best. I don't look my best. Mentally, I'm not my best. You know my life isn't where I want to be. Therefore, I am not going to that pool, like when I checkbox all the goals that I want, then I'll go to the pool and like this is honestly how I was living my life, for, you know, a large chunk of postpartum, after I had Ford, and I just, you know, was just at a lower state of my life, like mentally and physically, like all the things, and I think it was that error of my life that I recognize I was putting my happiness on hold. And once I became aware of this, like, life is happening, you can still live life and be a work in progress, still work on yourself, but still enjoy life and be present. And you can go to the pool and go on the vacations, and those are silly examples, but there's so many more that you can live now.
Speaker 2:And I think the first time I can truly say I didn't put my happiness on hold was when I started a business in the sense where, like I know, I wanted to start a business but before I used to think like in order to start a business, I have to have all the degrees possible to do that business, I have to be an expert in the field, I have to know everything, and then I can start my business. And that phase of my life, like I just jumped into a business almost like blindly, like I didn't know all the things, and I just did it and then I pivoted and I think that's kind of like the putting your happiness on hold extension where you could just step into action now, like live in the present moment, do what you want to do, but still know that you're pivoting and taking the steps to, you know, make progress. So that's the first time I kind of recognized the whole putting my happiness on hold. And I've recognized right now in my life with everything that's going on with us, you know, trying to build our house and move out onto the property, I've been putting my happiness on hold and I'll explain a little more about how I'm doing that currently and kind of update you like what's going on with, like, the property, the house, the farm, all the things. So after we sold our house back in May. I know it was after May, it's June. It was June we actually like officially closed on our house and then it wasn't until July that we actually closed on the land. So it's been August, september, october, november. It's been four months since I have felt in this limbo phase because nothing has really happened after we closed on the land.
Speaker 2:And the land, like moving out into the country and building our house and starting the farm means so much to me in the sense where, like that's where I'm well at least, I'm telling myself, like that's where I can start being the person I truly wanna be. Like I'm going to be outside more. I'm going to be growing my own food. I'm going to be spending more time with my kids. I'm going to transition them out of school and homeschooling. This is my goal, you know. I'm going to have the farm animals. I'm going to be collecting my eggs in the morning, we're gonna have family dinners and like all the things that the land stands for for me.
Speaker 2:And I've been saying to myself, okay, I can't do and be all those things until we're living out on the property. Like that's what I've been telling myself. But I finally have just realized like that is so untrue. Like if I wanna do all those things, I can do that today. Like I could start growing microgreens in my kitchen there's no reason why I can't cook for my kids, even though our kitchen does not have the most space. Like I can do all that stuff today. I can spend more time with my kids today we can have those family meals. Like there's no reason why I can't start being the person I wanna be or living the life I wanna live today without actually living on this property. So I've realized I have definitely been putting my happiness on hold and what's been going on with like the land is we are trying to pay off the land. So when you pay off your land, you can use your land as a down payment for a new construction loan. So we have a little more to pay off on the land and we can't pay the land off without selling our investment home, our Airbnb that we've been trying to sell.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, when we put our Airbnb on the market, the market kind of shifted. Interest rates have gone up and it's just been a slower sellers market right now. The real estate market has definitely shifted. So we haven't been able to sell our Airbnb in order to get the cash out to pay off our land and then get a construction loan. So we've kind of just been at the standstill. We're trying to do everything possible out of pocket right now with the land. But let me tell you guys, it is expensive. Like who knew, like a fence to fence in over 17 acres is a large chunk of change? Who knew, like getting a well out there and electricity it's a lot of money. So we're just trying to live as conservatively as we possibly can, saving as much as we can, doing as much as we can without this new construction loan. But hopefully what will happen is as soon as we sell the Airbnb we'll take a new construction loan out and then start the process.
Speaker 2:But meanwhile I'm done putting my happiness on hold, like this past weekend we planted some wildflower seeds, I'm going to get a garden going out on the property and just starting to like ease into projects that aren't expensive, that I can just do now, that I wanna do. That will bring me happiness, that will bring our family together. So that's kind of like what we're doing and I feel like ever since I kind of shifted that mentality the past couple of days I have felt more hopeful and I think it just shows that life is all about what type of perspective you adapt. You know you see life and you perceive life through the lens that you create for yourself. So if you wanna just look at life negatively, that's what you're gonna get. But you ultimately have the control to change the lens that you look through for your life, if that makes sense. So I've recognized and putting my happiness on hold and I kind of just need to shift my reality where. You know this is a journey, it's a process. Nothing happens overnight and there are things that I can start doing right now. So that's the whole update on the land of what's going on. If you guys have like any other specific questions about the land and everything, let me know and I'll give more specifics. I am going to start doing a YouTube where I'll do more updates as soon as we get like more progress going, but that's what's in the works for that.
Speaker 2:Also, I kind of have to like tell you a funny story. So I want bees so bad. I don't know why, but I just. First of all, I love raw honey, but I have been watching beekeeping videos and it just fascinates me and I have been trying to learn as much as I can about the bees. I was going to order bees and then I ended up canceling that because I realized I had a lot to learn before I just order a bunch of bees to the property. But I have just been enjoying learning as much as I can. There is a local bee association in Barto that I'm going to start going to their meetings and they have field days where you go to other people's properties to see how they keep their bees and I'm actually learning. There's a lot of people that I know that beekeep that are going to help us and kind of introduce us into the whole beekeeping world. So I'm so excited about that.
Speaker 2:But so I have been talking about bees the past couple of weeks. I've been watching all the videos and we were just walking the property. We have like a part of the property that hasn't been cleared yet. So there's some wildflowers out by the lake and some greenery and we're just kind of walking through it. It's really overgrown and all of a sudden, lo and behold, I look down and there's a bunch of honeybees swarming. They're taking the pollen from the flowers. You can see them and I just was like, oh my gosh, there's Honeybees on the property.
Speaker 2:It was wild and to me that was kind of like that serendipity moment where, you know, it was like a sign for me. I just felt at peace when I saw that because I felt like that was a sign where, okay, I this, I'm in the right direction, it's all going to be okay, it's all going to work out. And also the lesson of like, you know, you can want and want and want all these things, but you really have to live in the moment and appreciate what you have that's right in front of you. And that was honeybees on my property the entire time. So that was just kind of like a moment that it was a what is? I saw a tick-tock. That was like, rather than trigger moments you should look at like the shimmer moments in your life, you know, like the positives in your life. So that was like my shimmer moment, if you will.
Speaker 2:Also, I just think that this season of my life this is another thing that I've learned with the whole like land and property, we have taken 20 steps backwards in our life and we have made a lot of sacrifices, tried to really live below our means. You know it's been a really tight season financially. We're on top of each other in this rental house with only one bathroom. But again, so much to be thankful for. But I really want to appreciate this season in my life because I know it's only a season. It's kind of like the postpartum error we're gonna get through it and then later on in life, you know, I can look back at it and be like, wow, look at what we did, you know, look at what we went through and how we got through it. So again, with every moment and seasons in your life there's a reason why they happen, and that's another like perspective I'm really trying to adapt is like there's a learning lesson in everything. So trying to see that learning lesson and those takeaways with every experience and moment has also been like something that's been pretty positive and just helpful in this season of time. All right. So I'm going to switch it up a little bit and Kind of answer a couple questions that you guys have asked me. So stigma to making money now versus then that's such a good question.
Speaker 2:So I went through this period in my life with this whole money-making thing, where I was a stay-at-home mom for a solid Five years, like until my first son went to kindergarten and my husband would work and I would stay at home. And After two years of staying at home, I just felt like I wasn't Contributing to the family. I can't explain it. And again, this, these were like my feelings and what I was telling myself, not the reality, but just my feelings. I just felt like because I wasn't contributing Financially, I wasn't contributing to the family, which is so ridiculous. But that, that, those were my thoughts and I ended up going back to get my masters and then from there, I started a staging business and I just feel and then from there, you know, the staging business evolved to the whole tick-tock, content creation, working with brands, starting a podcast, like Starting a coaching business just go over.
Speaker 2:Like I had this mentality that I needed to hustle and prove to myself and prove to my husband and prove to everyone that you know, I could do it all and I could make money. And you know, the sky was the limit. And Really, it's like that hustle girl era that I was in all the way up until I had Lane, my third son and I. He changed me. He changed me for the better, and this is kind of what I was alluding to with my whole values have changed.
Speaker 2:I've realized, you know, I am not Like I'm replaceable everywhere else in the world, but I'm not replaceable in my home as my kids mom, as my husband's wife and what I do in our own Household. And I've realized, the older my kids get you know, my son is turning 10 next month. That is wild. He's in fourth grade like the more they need me present, they need me home. My son has asked me more and more to be present at his school like volunteer and just like show up there and maybe even substitute and just be more there for them.
Speaker 2:You know, and it's definitely changed me in the sense where, like my husband loves to provide for us and there's no reason why I need to hustle the way I did and prove to myself that I could make all this money, which I did. You know I made the money and I proved that I could make it. But I want to do something that's so much more than just making the money and hustling. And it's hard because with everything that's happened in the economy, you know it's hard to live, live on like a one-income family, and especially because the past couple years since I have been making money. You know we we depend on that money, we rely on that money. Our life has a kind of you know evolved where we need that money. But right now we're trying to find that balance where I can back away a little bit and maybe not, you know, hustle as much and kind of go into my soft girl error. And my husband really, if he needs to hustle a little more, he's going to do that.
Speaker 2:But I've really just I, I've just gone away with that mentality that I need to be this hustle girl error and make more money than my husband. You know I'm over that. So that's kind of like my perspective on Making money now versus then. I just feel like as a mom you are not Replaceable in your house and as a mother of your kids and raising kids is such a short time and you know just if you can be more present with your kids that's, that's my goal. But again, like, obviously it's really hard to live off of one One income with a family. So we're trying to figure that out, how we can do that.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, just balancing life as a working mother and wife. So I will say and I've said this before a couple times. I really don't think there is a balance. I do not think there is a balance when it comes to working and being a mom and being a wife. I really don't think you'll ever find that balance. At least I have never found this balance for me. I've realized when I am like hustling and my businesses are on their a game, I am not as present as a mom, like I'm lacking in that area and especially not as a wife, you know. But when I am like ever present in my house and you know I'm being just that wife on my a game wife Game I'm I'm more present as a mom and like my businesses are lacking. So it's kind of like I've realized in certain seasons certain areas of my life mean me more and when the other things kind of lack, that's just, it is what it is and seasons kind of shift and you know where I spend my time, kind of shift. So I don't think the balance does exist. I just have realized that I have to prioritize my time or what I prioritize, based upon like the needs of what's going on. And lately, you know, like I have mentioned, I feel like my family has really needed me lately with all the changes the baby, my oldest growing up, my middle son and, during kindergarten, my husband like they just need me more at home and, as a result, like my businesses have not done so well, I will be the first to throw that out there and that's just. That's just part of it. So balance does not exist and I think once you recognize that, you give yourself a lot more grace.
Speaker 2:Relationships with friends after becoming a healthy becoming healthy and also apparent. So relationships with friends after becoming healthy and also apparent. So I am almost on 100 days alcohol free and it's wild because I feel like alcohol really allowed me to be social. You know, when there was alcohol involved, I was more likely to go out to dinner and invite friends and maybe go to a bar afterwards and all the things, and I could not imagine myself socializing without alcohol. And what I've realized is lately, with going alcohol free and also just getting older I'm turning 35 in January.
Speaker 2:That is wild and just being more intentional with my time and who I surround myself with is that you will find your people, and it has definitely taken me some time to find my people, but like one thing that's really allowed me to build friends is playing tennis. I know that sounds silly and you guys might be rolling your eyes like who has time to play tennis, but I guess what I'm saying is I found friends in a productive way. Like it's hard to say. What I'm trying to say is like maybe there's friends in a workout class or a mommy and me friends. Like you'll find friends if you surround yourself with, like what it is you truly want to do. Or like joining a book club. Like I started a book club and so I have found like minded women who want to discuss personal growth books, and then, with the tennis ladies, you know it's so fun to play tennis and then we talk about getting better, you know, and we're motivating each other and inspiring each other. Like I love that and it also allows me to be a little more social. Like I get to socialize and work out and you know, get better as a person, it's just. It's just a win-win.
Speaker 2:So, with friends, I think you have to be intentional with your friends and surround yourself with people that are like-minded and I promise you you will find them. But you just have to be surrounding yourself with what it is you truly want to do. So if you want to play tennis, go play tennis, pickleball, book clubs, gardening, like there's so many, there's so many ways to connect with people. You just got to find those like-minded people. So that's kind of like where my friendships are. But again, I only have like a few handful of really close friends that I've had for over 10 years and more like my best friend. We've been friends since sixth grade. And then I have like my college friends that I talk to. They live in California but we always talk to each other and catch up. And then I have like the tennis ladies. So I think it's also about finding friendships that work for you. You know, if friendships are more of like a chore or it's hard, then it's just it's not meant to be.
Speaker 2:As you get older, you know your family, your partner and you you come first before friendship. So you find friendships that just work for you. And I think that's kind of what I've done as I've gotten older C-section pooch issues. So I definitely still so I've had three C-sections. I definitely still have like that C-section pooch area, if you will, but it has gone down drastically. I've also realized when I am limited on my sugar intake and I'm drinking water with electrolytes, I'm drinking water before my coffee and I'm just laying off like the processed food, I can see a difference in my stomach. So I think it's definitely like it's doable for your C-section stomach and just like your post baby stomach and just to get better as time goes on. You got to allow yourself to heal. I'm 14 months postpartum so it's definitely gone down and down, but I will say I have seen a direct correlation with what I am fueling my body with, with how like my stomach bloats, if that makes sense. But again, it's not about perfection. I really don't think my stomach will ever 100% heal, it's just all part of it.
Speaker 2:Someone asked my bestie asked, top 10 lessons you've learned through 10 years of marriage. Wow, okay, I'm not going to do 10 lessons, but I will just do a couple takeaways that I've learned with marriage. So we're going on. It will actually be 11 years in May and I think the mentality that I have kind of adapted that I'm not the best at but I try to kind of like regroup myself to come back to is I have to put my marriage first. My marriage, it comes like I come first myself, I come first that selfish mom. It's all about my mental and physical health first, and then it's my husband, then it's the kids, because really, without my husband and I working on our relationship, then there is no family, there's no family with our kids. So I've learned that I really do need to take the time to prioritize our marriage, and some of the ways we do that is we definitely go on date nights at least once a week, like that is a non-negotiable, and a lot of times we just play tennis together or we go for a walk or maybe a drive, like we just need some type of alone time, even if, like the kids go to bed, we sit on the couch and talk, or even, like Saturday and Sunday mornings, we love just having coffee together before the kids wake up, for 15 minutes, like we need just some type of quality time together. And again, it doesn't have to be a full on night out, but I really enjoy that time with him.
Speaker 2:I've also realized okay, you're not gonna be a big fan of this, it is what it is, but men need sex. I have realized that when my husband is not getting laid, he is grumpy. You know he needs sex and just there is a blatantly I cannot talk today, sorry guys. There is a blatant difference between a man's brain and a woman's brain when it comes to sex, and I've had to get out of this mindset where, like, oh, we have to connect first. I mean we have to. You know, like just I have to be in the mood and sometimes I just have to take one for the team, like my husband needs sex. Men are different and they need to get laid, and that's just what it is, and I promise you it will make your life a lot better. If your husband gets laid, he will just be a nicer person or a less grumpier person. I God, if he ever he's not gonna listen to this, don't come at me on social media, but I'll just say if there's something that I want or we wanna go do, like on the weekend, I will make sure that we have had sex before I talk to him about it, because nine out of 10, 10 times he is more likely to agree to go do those things that he might not agree to if he hadn't gotten laid. So that's like the second top thing.
Speaker 2:The third thing is I've realized that my husband and I definitely have different love languages, like mine is. I really like to talk, you know I want that quality time where he is more of like acts of services, like if I do his laundry or I lay out his boxers before he gets in the shower, or if I just have some type of like plan for dinner, like those are things that mean a lot to him, and so I try to just be mindful of that. That we do have different love languages where, like me, asking about his day is not the same thing as me, like leaving him a note in the morning for him, like those are different, whereas, like he, asking about my day means everything to me. So I've just realized we have different love languages in that sense that I have to be mindful for. Another thing is my husband likes when I dress for him and not for women. So I have tried to be more mindful about that too, especially on date nights. And what I mean by like dressing for women is, you know, he's not the biggest fan of, like the baggy jeans and you know, like the trendy outfits Like he likes I don't know. He just has a different style. So sometimes again, I take one for the team and I'll wear an outfit that I know he'll appreciate versus, you know, a girl thinking that I'm trendy if I wear. So those are kind of like my tips.
Speaker 2:We, you know, just like with everything, our marriage has definitely has had its ups and downs. It is by no means perfect, but I think oh, I forgot my biggest one, I think my top one before, like anything else that we both do, that I definitely have made such an effort to do, is I treat him the way I wanted to be treated in the sense of respect, like I never put myself in a situation that I wouldn't want him to be in. Or let's just say, like with social media, if someone messages me inappropriately or I don't know, like I show him because I would want him to do that for me and I just make sure that I speak highly about him because I wouldn't want him to not speak highly about me, you know. Or if I go on like a girls vacation, I wouldn't accept a drink for a guy, like if he sent a drink to the table, you know, like stuff like that. I just have made sure that I live my life and my marriage in a respectful way and I think with that he trusts me so much and there's just that mutual respect that has helped us last in this marriage. But again, marriage has ups and downs. I think you also have to get in this mentality that there is like this is the end game, like there is no way out. You have committed, you know there's no easy way out. You have to put in the work and I think that's also like adapting that mentality just helps with you know sticking it out and fighting each day for your marriage. You have to put in the work.
Speaker 2:Let's see the power of cutting my hair. Guys, go cut your hair. Everyone told me not to cut my hair and I'm so glad I cut my hair. Cutting my hair there's just something about when you change your hair, your life is going to change and I feel like that's exactly what happened to me when I cut my hair. I think before I cut my hair I was just still in that postpartum like fog, kind of like that depression error, like I just had this dark cloud on top of me. I can't really explain it and I just feel like when I cut my hair it just allowed me to kind of just reset, regroup and just get a fresh perspective and it just, I don't know, I love my hair. It just adds a different feel to myself. My husband loves it.
Speaker 2:It's it is, I will say I have to run a flat iron through it like every morning, but it takes two minutes to do and then my hair is done for the whole day versus me, just like wearing a bun on my head. So, as far as like managing the short hair, it's really not that bad and I have pretty kinky, kind of frizzy hair. So the short hair it's definitely doable. If you're going to do it, find a bunch of pictures that you can show your hairstylists. Think about it for a while. It's definitely not something you just do overnight. I was definitely, you know, thinking about it for a couple weeks. I was, you know, playing with my hair in the mirror to see what it would look like, and then I finally did it. But cutting my hair, it has been the best, best decision, one of the best decisions I have made.
Speaker 2:Let me see what else I have Love how to get out of a funk and get motivated. So I have a couple episodes. This will be the last question, but I actually have a couple podcasts, episodes on motivation and, honestly, how to get out of a funk phase. I've recently been on a funk phase. I have just been down and out. Kids have been sick. Like I said, I was like living in this limbo phase, telling myself that you know, I can't be happy right now. I can't be this person that I want to be until you know I'm living on the property or living this way, and I have just realized I need to take action and start doing small things.
Speaker 2:So the way you got out of a funk phase and the way you experience motivation is through small actions. That's why I always say commit to the bare minimum action. Small actions drive motivation. So I really recommend wake up and write down like four small things you can accomplish that day that will make you feel better and kind of just bring you closer to whatever goal it is that you want to achieve. So maybe one of your small goals is making your bed. There is so much power behind making your bed first thing in the morning. It's something that you you accomplish. It's a something you can check off your list. You feel so good that you have done it, that you have achieved it, and then it motivates you to do something else for that day.
Speaker 2:So write down the small actions you want to do for the day. Make your bed, maybe go for a five minute walk. Like, do not underestimate the power of a walk. A five minute walk, I will tell you. Go for a walk, play your favorite playlist, and what's going to happen is you'll probably end up doing a 10 minute walk, maybe a 15 minute walk, maybe even a 45 minute walk, like you're going to get a little more motivated. Today I went to the gym and I said I'm just going to do five minutes on the treadmill at an incline because it was raining outside. I ended up doing an hour workout in the gym with weights, sweating, all the things, feeling so good. I had no intention to do that, but the small action of me just saying hey, I'm going to do five minutes led me and motivated me to do a little more. So there is evidence behind how small actions drive motivation. But you got to give yourself grace and tell yourself that small actions. It's okay to just do a five minute walk for that day. Give yourself grace and do a little more the next day.
Speaker 2:Commit to the bare minimum. I always like. It's like beating a dead horse with me saying committing to the bare minimum, because, okay, I just realized that. Saying I don't like that saying. I'm not going to say that saying anymore, but I am going to say commit to the bare minimum until the day I die, because there is so much power behind it.
Speaker 2:We psych ourselves out with, like the bigger pictures, whether it's having a large number of weight to lose, or you know, the bigger picture of I don't know, like graduating in four years, whatever the bigger picture is. Or like telling yourself you're going to get in a 45 minute workout today and it's going to be perfect. Like we psych ourselves out with that big picture and then, when we resort to that all or nothing thinking where we think it either has to be perfect or we resort to doing nothing. So today I want you to just try committing to the bare minimum action. You do the bare minimum, the absolute bare minimum, every single day. Give yourself grace and then you evolve on that bare minimum. All right, try it. Let me know if it works. All right, guys, that has been another episode of the selfish mom challenge. If you have any other questions that you want to ask me, let me know, message me. I'll kind of do more of these as we go on and I'll give more updates on what's going on with the land, the property, my honey, bees, all the things, yeah, but something really exciting.
Speaker 2:I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week, because Thanksgiving is coming up and then, of course, christmas. I am doing the last selfish mom challenge. The selfish mom four week challenge is going to start Monday, november 27th and it's going to end on Monday December 25th, on Christmas. So there's four weeks within this challenge to just help you commit to the bare minimum, get in a structure, get in a routine, build habits, have accountability from other people in this challenge and then on Christmas day you have something big to celebrate that you did it. Four weeks is going to go by so fast. You might as well be in a challenge that's going to help you to walk more, to move your body, to drink a shake in the morning, to drink more water. It's all about just building habits for the next four weeks and then you can start evolving on those habits.
Speaker 2:But the four weeks is all about just moving your body. So you have to go on a 15 minute walk every single day. You submit your walk to the group and then I have a key of things where you can get points for submitting to the group. So, like every week, I do some type of like journal discussion question where if you answer these posts, you get points for them. And then if you take a picture of your shake for the day or what you're making to eat or a workout with your kids, you take a picture of it, you submit it to the group, you get points. So the way you get cash prizes from the four week selfish mom challenge is by participation points.
Speaker 2:But on top of that you're moving your body every single day because you have to work out 15 minutes every single day. A walk, 15 minute walk completely doable. I actually might change it to a five minute walk. Stay tuned for that. But then on Sundays you check in with me. It's like an automatic check-in, or the next day, that Monday I will give you like a voice memo, some type of feedback. So you're getting that one-on-one check-in with me where I talk to you. You have access to a meal plan, to a workout plan, and I'm also going to do weekly live zooms and I have loved these live zooms where you just pop on I have a topic to talk about. We talk about things like self-talk or protein or Just what moving your body can do for your brain, or I kind of just open the group to like, hey, what are you struggling with? What do you want to know more about? So it's really up to you how you want to utilize this challenge. But overall, if you just want to be held accountable, to get in that walk Every single day and have a couple resources like meal plans, workout plans, shake recipes and a fun group of women who are all working towards just becoming a better version of themselves, especially during this holiday season, come join the selfish mom challenge.
Speaker 2:All you have to do is message me on Instagram and say Selfish mom challenge and I will give you a podcast discount. I am going to give it to you for 45 dollars. Just say Podcast, selfish mom, something along those lines, and I will let you sign up for only 45 dollars. It's like an over $200 value. You're getting access to me, to this group, and I promise you at the end of the four weeks, on Christmas day, you are going to feel so good that you have committed to the bare minimum action and you have built habits. So come join the challenge. I hope you guys have a wonderful, amazing Thanksgiving if I don't talk to you guys soon, and, of course, this has been another episode of the selfish mom podcast. Go be that selfish mom. Start prioritizing your mental and physical health first, so you don't get burnt out, especially during this holiday season. I will catch you next time.