EPISODE 1- The Egg - Fairies and Dragons, Ponies and Knights
Performed Live Feb. 7, 2021
Podcast released Feb. 12, 2021
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 [cue: overture]

    It all started in the beginning, when they were babies. Well, the dragons weren’t babies, they were eggs. And the fairies weren’t babies either, fairies are never babies. But the rest of them were- the Knights, and the Ponies. And in the beginning, when everyone was an egg, or a non-baby, or a baby, everyone was nice. 

    But over time, liiiiiiiiitle by liiiiiitle, so slowly that no one could say when or how or why it started, the Fairies and the Ponies got mean. Rumors spread across the land, rumors saying that the Fairies and Ponies were to blame for various things gone wrong, things gone missing. And before you knew it, it was common knowledge that the fairies and ponies were...bad. 

    The humans, of course, including the Knights, had no idea. They thought the Fairies and Ponies were just great, because everyone knows humans will love anything shiny, or glittery, or cute. Especially if those things appear mostly cute but also a little bit fierce. The Fairies and Ponies were shiny, and glittery, and cute. And certainly, a little bit fierce. 

    Beatrice knew this, better than anyone, because, although she couldn’t prove it yet, she knew that the Fairies and Ponies had stolen her egg. At first she hadn’t believed it- who would be so brazen as to steal a dragon’s egg? It wasn’t like lifting a chicken egg or two- I mean, what’s a chicken going to do? But a dragon? You don’t mess with a dragon, period. You especially don’t mess with a mother dragon by stealing an egg right out from under her fire-breathing snout. At least, that’s how Beatrice felt about it, being a dragon herself. 

    It wasn’t the only egg- there were two. Dragons always lay two eggs at a time. But exactly one year ago, when she had returned to the carefully concealed nest within her lair, one of her eggs was gone. The Fairies and Ponies had taken it. It had to be them, Beatrice knew, because who else would dare? Besides, when the egg went missing, she had found hoof prints around the nest, and the flowers all around Beatrice’s lair were in full bloom- a sure sign of fairies. Beatrice was willing to overlook small acts of mischief or nonsense on the part of these ethereal hooligans, but this was no small act, and after a year of searching for her missing egg, Beatrice knew it was time to try something else. She had made up her mind some time ago, but hadn’t been ready to leave her youngest dragling, the missing egg’s twin, and his four older siblings. But now...they were ready. They could take care of themselves. So Beatrice would leave them alone to take care of the mountain while she went to find the Fairies and Ponies. She would confront them directly. She was determined to find some answers and perhaps…. some justice. 

    But Beatrice wasn’t born yesterday. She knew that a confrontation between a full-grown dragon and the Fairies and Ponies could get complicated, and she would need some help. What she needed, she felt sure, was a knight. Without the help of a knight, the other humans would instantly take the side of the glittery, cute Fairies and Ponies against a dragon, which could lead to bigger problems. A knight would make Beatrice’s quest more legitimate, help her communicate with the other humans, and serve as a guide. And besides that, [Cue: knights theme] the knights were… the knights were… amazing. They were like their own special kind of magical creature, except that they weren’t. They weren’t magic at all, which made them even more amazing. They had great adventures, shiny armor, great songs and jokes, quests for knowledge… she could go on. This all seemed wonderful to Beatrice, and she never turned down a chance to hear stories of the great deeds performed by the famous knights of the nearby city of Durga. She had always hoped to meet one of them, and now was her chance.

    But how would she get a knight to help her? Especially on a quest for justice between a dragon and the Fairies and Ponies? The Knights were choosy, they didn’t help just anyone. And while Knights and dragons weren’t exactly enemies, they were wary of one another; it wasn’t unheard of for a knight and dragon to fight each other to the death over some small misunderstanding. Beatrice knew she would have to proceed with caution, and as she considered the situation, she itched to begin her journey. But first, she would need to say goodbye to her children. 

     Beatrice turned towards the top of the mountain. Her mountain. This place was under her care, and it had flourished ever since she had claimed it. At first, it had been choked with dry pines and smothering under a thick blanket of dead leaves and needles, preventing any new, green life from forming. It had been begging for her blaze. [cue: beatrice fire] When she had set her flame to the mountainside it had rejoiced, and galloping flames had raced along the hills and rocks, faster even than Beatrice herself could fly. The walls of fire had run along her planned courses before they fizzled out against rivers, cliffs, or trenches. [cue: fire breath 2] She had herded the fire, flown above it, walked within it, kept it on course. Dragons feel fire as an extension of their own selves, and such was Beatrice’s precision that there had been no loss of life. [Cue : fade fire] When it was over, Beatrice had looked proudly over the smoldering ruin of her mountainside, ready now for a new start

    Today, years later, [cue: forest life]  her mountain was teeming with life. Vegetation and animals of all kinds grew in abundance among her well-maintained streams, valleys, and forests. There was safety here, since no one would be foolish enough to attack a mountain claimed by a dragon, and there was always plenty of food for everyone. Including, of course, Beatrice’s own children, her draglings. [Cue: fade forest sounds] She felt a flicker of worry as she thought of them, and wondered how they would fare without her while she was away. 

    Beatrice, despite her imposing size, wove her way silently and smoothly among the trees and brush near her lair. She arrived at the clearing near the caves where they all slept, let forth a mighty roar that could be heard for miles, and then sent a pillar of flame soaring into the sky. [Cue: fire breath] She knew her children wouldn’t fail to ignore her call. As she scanned the sky, waiting for their arrival, she saw a swooping dragon miles away by the cliffside waterfall. That better not be Azrael, Beatrice thought. She had told him not to bother those goats. She took a deep breath, let forth another roar and blast of flame, and stomped her foot, sending a tremor through the earth. [cue: foot stomp]

    Finally, out from the woods came crashing her youngest dragling, Smudge. [cue: home music] He was running furiously; he couldn’t yet fly more than a few feet at a time. When he got into the clearing he didn’t stop running, however. He kept going, straight towards Beatrice, roaring... 

    [cue: smudge 1] 

    “Smudge, slow down"

    “Smudge, please do not run into me, I am not in the mood.” 

    He had almost reached his mother and showed no signs of slowing. [cue: smudge 2] Beatrice took her eyes off of him for a moment as she looked up and saw more circling shapes in the sky, coming closer to the clearing. SLAM!! 

    [cue: Beatrice roar] Beatrice bellowed. “SMUDGE, no! You cannot slam into me like that!” [cue: smudge 3]

    “Smudge, off! No, do not bite me! Get off!” 

    Smudge suddenly toppled off of Beatrice’s shoulders and let out a yowl of pain. [cue: Smudge 5 short]

    “Smudge, are you okay?” [cue: smudge long]

    “Smudge, I’m sorry but I don’t feel bad for you.”

    “I asked you not to do that, and I’m not surprised that you’ve hurt yourself."

    As Smudge writhed on the ground, Beatrice’s other draglings started to arrive. Azrael and Petra, her two oldest, were the first to land, closely followed by their younger sister, Edwine. But where was Lyle? 

    “Mom, what’s wrong with Smudge?” asked Edwine. 

    “He hurt himself,” said Beatrice grimly.

    “And you’re just standing there?? Oh Smudgieeeee, what’s wrong Smudgie, are you okay?”

    Smudge snuggled up to his older sister, still whimpering pathetically. 

    Beatrice cleared her throat. She would have to start without Lyle. “Children. I’ve called you here because I have something important to -” [cue: smudge 6]

    “Oh Smudgie, you’re okay, you’re okay, Smudgie. Mom, I think he’s really hurt!” 

    “He’s fine, Edwine. By the way, Azrael, where were you just coming from?”

    “Ummmm, I don’t know.” Azrael swished his long tail across the ground while avoiding eye contact with his mother. 

    “You don’t know?”

    “I was just, you know, over on the mountain.”

    “Were you bothering those goats?”

    “No.”

    “Azrael!”

    “I wasn’t bothering them! I was just looking at them!”

    “Azrael, you being there is bothering them. It scares them.”

    “Mom.” said Petra.

    “I wasn’t scaring them! I was just… they couldn’t even see me!”

    “Mom?” said Petra.

    “Yes, they can. They can see you. They know when you are there. What were they doing, were they climbing up the mountain?”

    “Mom?” said Petra, again.

    “Yeah, they were.” said Azrael.

    “Exactly, because they were scared, and they were trying to get away from you.”

    “Mom, loooook Smudge is my baaabyyy…” said Edwine, cradling her little brother in her front legs. 

    Azrael sighed in exasperation, igniting a nearby clump of flowers which he quickly extinguished with his tail. “But mom, I don’t want to hurt them, I love them! I would never eat them… Unless one fell. If they fall, I can eat them right? Or would that scare them? Would they just think I was trying to make them fall? Oh no! They probably think I want them to fall! Oh goaties! I’m so sorry goaties!”

    “Mom!” said Petra.

    “Azrael, please, just please, leave the goats alone."

    “Mom!” said Petra.

    “Petra, what!” Beatrice finally turned to look at her oldest daughter. 

    “Mom, look at Smudge! Doesn’t he look like he’s my baby?” said Edwine. 

    “Yes, he looks very cute, what is it Petra?”

    “Lyle is stuck in that cave again,” said Petra.

    Beatrice closed her eyes briefly. “Oh no, please tell me he is not.”

    “He is.”

    “Well, why did he go in there again? Smudge, please don’t climb on me right now. Petra, why did he go in there again?”

    “Mom, don’t push him off, he might get hurt again!” 

    “Well,” said Petra thoughtfully, “It was probably because I threw a shiny human cup in there and told him he could have it if he could get it out.”

    Azrael tapped his mother’s front leg with his claw. “Mom, do you think the goats will ever learn to trust me?”

    “What? No, goats and dragons aren’t meant to- Petra, you did what? Smudge, please get off of me. Good grief, how am I ever going to leave you all here [cue] alone!”

    There was a sudden silence in the clearing.

    Then all of Beatrice’s draglings started talking at once, demanding to know what she meant.

    Lyle chose this moment to join his family in the clearing. “GOT IT!” he said triumphantly. “Check out my sweet CUUUPPP!!! It’s shiny, it’s tiny, it has a teeny tiny little baby waby human handle that I can sneak a little claw through.” Lyle demonstrated, pretending to drink out of the cup. “Mmmm, I’m a human and I love this coffee, this coffee is delicious. Mmmmm coffee coffee coffee… what? What is it? What’s wrong with everybody?”

    “Mom’s leaving us.” said Petra

    “Whaaaaaatt?” yelled Lyle. 

    Edwine started to whimper. Smudge started growling. 

    “Children, please listen,” said Beatrice, crouching low on the ground so she could look into her draglings’ faces. “You all know that my egg, the one that should have hatched with Smudge, was stolen a year ago.”

    They all nodded solemnly, and Edwine wrapped a wing protectively around Smudge. While all of the other dragons in the family had their egg twin- Asrael and Petra hatched together, as did Edwine and Lyle- Smudge was growing up alone.

    Beatrice continued. “For a long time now, I’ve felt sure this had to be the work of the Fairies and the Ponies.”

    “But why?” asked Azrael. “Why would they want to steal our egg?

    “I don’t know, Azrael. But I intend to find out.” 

    “I will EAT those ponies and fairies for taking Smudgie’s egg twin!” said Edwine.

    Lyle nodded vigorously. “Yeah, why would they do that? I can’t believe it! We need to get them, and roast them! That’s what I think. Those butt-showing zing-zongs!” 

    “No, listen. We won’t solve anything with violence. Especially if there is a chance that the egg hatched after it was stolen. And that...the baby is with them still.” Beatrice felt her heart lurch as she said the words out loud. She never let herself consider this possibility, it was too painful. 

    “Mom,” Petra said. “Are you saying that we might have a brother or sister out there somewhere?”

    “I don’t know, Petra, maybe”

    “No. Way,” Edwine said, squeezing Smudge closer.

    “I have no way of knowing if that’s even possible- and it’s highly unlikely. I’ve never heard of a dragling being hatched by anyone other than its mother. But we can’t know for sure. And either way, it’s time the Fairies and Ponies were confronted, they’ve been getting out of hand. But… it’s dangerous, and complicated; they are powerful creatures and I can’t do this alone. So I have decided to ask for help among the Knights of Durga.”

    Beatrice’s draglings began to clamor around her in excitement, all speaking at once. 

    “Mom, Mom, can we go? We can help! We can help!”

    “No, I’m sorry, I can’t take you with me. I need you all to stay here; together you can keep the mountain healthy and strong, and keep Smudge out of trouble. Besides, I don’t know what I’ll be facing, and I can’t risk putting you in danger.”

    “When are you going to leave?” asked Petra.

    “I think it needs to be right away. I’ve been waiting until I thought you were ready for this responsibility, and now, you are. Do you have any questions about the mountain, or how to care for it while I’m away?”

    The draglings were silent, staring at their mother with wide eyes.

    [cue] Beatrice extended her wings and enveloped them, pulling them close to her body. “I love you all. So much.” There was some sniffling from Lyle, and a low growling from Smudge as Beatrice nuzzled them. Then she took a deep breath and lifted herself into the air, wings whooshing mightily, and headed down the mountain. This was the way of dragons; once they made up their minds to accomplish something, they began at once.

    The draglings were motionless for a few moments, watching her receding form. When they could no longer see her, Petra took a deep breath and looked at her siblings. It was up to them to be like their mother now, and adapt as she was doing. “You heard mom. We have work to do.” 

    The dragons scattered quietly and Petra sat still for a moment, organizing her thoughts and planning what she would need to do. She watched her siblings. Azrael was pacing through the clearing, kicking rocks and mumbling. Lyle was having a pretend tea party with his new cup. Edwine and Smudge were up on the ledge, playing…. wait no. That was just Edwine. [cue: fade out Hope 2] Petra sat up straighter, scanning the surrounding woods. Where was Smudge? He had a habit of disappearing quickly and it never took him long to find mischief. She launched into the air, flapping her wings in agitation. [cue: apprehension stab]  

    “Azrael! Edwine, Lyle!” She yelled. “I think Smudge is gone!”

    TRANSITION

    Talora Shamsa was a Knight-in-Training. [cue: fade knight music] She was the best. At everything. She made absolutely sure of that. She was the best artist, the best fighter, the best climber, the best astronomer, the best singer, the best dancer, riddler, reader, writer, mathematician, strategist, potion-maker, juggler, poet, archer, trombonist, stone-skipper, frog-catcher, bird-caller, everything. And even if there was something she wasn’t the best at, she knew she could get there, because no one would work harder, try harder, study harder, or fight harder than Talora Shamsa, who her friends called “Lora.” Or they would, if she had any friends. 

    But Talora didn’t really have time for friends. She packed her days with the pursuit of being the best at everything, and most importantly, the pursuit of ultimate knighthood. [cue: fade knight music 2]  It’s not as if she didn’t want friends. It’s not like when she saw other Knights-in-Training her age, talking and laughing and sharing things, that it didn’t bother her, it’s not like she didn’t sometimes pretend that she had a best friend that she could talk to: she did, and it did, and... she did. The problem was, no one in Durga seemed as.... serious as she was. She had always thought that things would be different at Knight school, that she might find others like herself, but it hadn’t turned out that way. Talora just cared about everything way too much and everyone else was somehow...less complicated. At least at Knight school in Durga, people looked up to her. Back at home, she had been considered weird, but in Durga, her instructors and classmates did seem to respect her. But whenever she tried to get close to someone, to actually be herself, she felt like people looked at her like she had some giant booger hanging out of her nose. Like everyone was awkwardly acting like everything was normal even though she was standing there with a huge booger hanging out of her nose and not doing anything about it. And try as she might, Talora couldn’t quite seem to figure out what the booger was, exactly, or how to get rid of it. So she spent a lot of time alone. 

    Alone was where she was today, in fact. She had taken her pack and her knife and was taking a day trip through the woods outside Durga. She had decided that her foraging skills could use some polishing up, and was searching on hands and knees for some edible mushrooms, when suddenly she was hit from behind by something- hard! “Oof,” she grunted as she toppled face-first into the dirt.

    Instantly, she was on her feet, looking around her. There was nothing there. [cue: suspense 1]  She pulled out her knife and crept slowly forward. “Who did that? Who’s there?” Other than a boulder a few feet ahead of her, there wasn’t anything to see. Talora turned slowly in a circle, poised on the tips of her toes, and suddenly whipped back around to stare at the boulder. Had it just...moved? Yes! Talora stared, as the boulder seemed to sprout legs and scuttle a few feet to the left before sinking back down to the ground, motionless. 

    “What are you?” Talora breathed. Was it some kind of rock animal? She’d never heard of a rock animal. It was big, but she couldn’t see a head or tail. Gripping her knife, she inched closer… and closer. Was the rock… smoking? Yes. The rock was definitely smoking. 

    She was close enough now that she could have reached out and touched it. Now that she was so near, she could make out more of its shape...just the tips of claws showing from the tucked up feet, and was it covered in scales? Talora raised her hand to touch the rock, but before she could, [cue: smudge 7: attack]

WHAM!! Something slammed into her chest, sending her flying through the air. She hit the ground with a thud, knocking the wind out of her. Before she could recover, something clamped down on her boot and began to drag her along the ground. [cue: smudge 8: growl fight]  Her arm hit a root and her knife went flying. What was it? What had her? She could just make out a long, spiky tail, and wings. Was it a…? No… it couldn’t be. Suddenly, the creature stopped dragging her, released her foot, and with a roar, [cue: smudge attack 11] threw itself at her chest, pinning her solidly to the ground. There was no doubt about it now. Talora found herself face to face with a small, smoking dragon. Everyone knew that even small dragons were dangerous, and very strong. Talora wasn’t sure what to do. It didn’t seem to want to eat her or anything, but there was no way that she could get out from under its huge weight. The dragon regarded her for a moment, then flapped its wings, raising a few inches above her chest, and landed on her again. It did it again, and again, and again- was it... bouncing on her?- and again, and this time Talora was ready. As the dragon lifted off her chest, she swung her legs up and over her head, rolling in a backwards somersault until her knees hit the ground. She sprung to her feet. Once standing, she spun around and looked directly at the dragon, who froze and looked back at her. 

    It was breathing smoke out of its nostrils. It was mostly grey, with barely visible streaks of purple and green at the edges of its scales in two rows down its back. It had wings folded neatly at its sides, and four legs ending in fiercely clawed feet. Now that it was standing fully upright, Talora could see that it was about the size of a small horse, and stood almost eye-to-eye with her. It was looking at her curiously. Then suddenly, it threw itself over onto its back. Its legs went up in the air and it started thrashing around wildly, making little grunting noises. It just barely tipped back far enough to roll over its own head and shoulders in a backwards somersault and come to its feet. Talora smiled. Was it copying her? It flapped its wings and stomped on the ground, puffing smoke. 

    Talora started backing away slowly. The dragon just looked at her. She took a few more steps. [cue: smudge attack 7]  Oh no. She braced herself. Slam! The dragon head-butted her, sending her flying. She landed in a heap, and before she could get away, it had her by the boot again. Was this some kind of game it liked playing? Then, from far away…   

    [cue: Petra 1] Both Talora and the dragon froze, because this roar had not come from the dragon with Talora’s boot in its mouth. This roar was bigger, deeper, and further away. Could it be another dragon? Talora’s dragon - or, rather, the dragon attacking Talora, looked at her. Then it began to furiously drag her away from the path and into the brush. It let go of Talora’s boot and started racing around her, clawing leaves and dirt over her. She tried to get up, but it pounced on her chest. She lay back down and it continued burying her. What was it doing? Why was it hiding her? 

    [cue: Petra 2]  The deeper dragon roar was getting closer.

    [cue: Smudge 10 roar +suspense] It was her dragon now, and it seemed to be calling to the other one. There was an answering roar, followed quickly by another. [cue: 3 dragons]  Wait a minute… that sounded like more than one. Talora felt panic rising in her chest. Exactly how many dragons were about to converge on her? There was a great deal of wind, and dirt, leaves, and branches were sent swirling into the air. Through the cloud of debris, she saw it. No. Not it. Them. Two- no, three dragons. From what she could see, they all looked larger than the dragon currently sitting on her, but none of them seemed to be full-grown. Talora, pinned beneath the smallest dragon, with twigs and dirt in her mouth and nose, took a deep breath, and prepared herself.