Here we are diving in the choppy waters of holiday stress and finding the balance between festive obligations and self-care.
In this episode we dig into the pressures of holiday traditions and respectfully declining invitations so you can choose you. It's a call to arms to reclaim your personal energy and capacity, where we learn it's more than okay to set boundaries and prioritize yourself amidst the end-of-year chaos.
This episode is not just about coping; it's about thriving through understanding nervous system hygiene and mastering the art of self-soothing. Together, we contemplate our values to make intentional choices that respect our resources. As the calendar flips to a New Year, let this episode be your reminder to inhale tranquility and exhale the notion that you must do it all. Here's to choices that enrich not just your holiday season but every season that follows.
Get in there and give it a listen for more
Resources:
Manage Your Stress Mentorship
Discovery call
You can find more about Brain-Body Resilience and JPB:
On the BBR Website
On Instagram
On Facebook
Sign up for the BBR newsletter
Here we are diving in the choppy waters of holiday stress and finding the balance between festive obligations and self-care.
In this episode we dig into the pressures of holiday traditions and respectfully declining invitations so you can choose you. It's a call to arms to reclaim your personal energy and capacity, where we learn it's more than okay to set boundaries and prioritize yourself amidst the end-of-year chaos.
This episode is not just about coping; it's about thriving through understanding nervous system hygiene and mastering the art of self-soothing. Together, we contemplate our values to make intentional choices that respect our resources. As the calendar flips to a New Year, let this episode be your reminder to inhale tranquility and exhale the notion that you must do it all. Here's to choices that enrich not just your holiday season but every season that follows.
Get in there and give it a listen for more
Resources:
Manage Your Stress Mentorship
Discovery call
You can find more about Brain-Body Resilience and JPB:
On the BBR Website
On Instagram
On Facebook
Sign up for the BBR newsletter
What is up? Hello there. My name is Jessica Paching Bunch, you can call me JPB, and this is Brain Body Resilience. This is a podcast dedicated to growth, human development and stressing a little bit less so you can go ahead and live a little bit more.
Speaker 2:Hello and good day to you. Welcome back to the Brain Body Resilience podcast. I am your host, jpb. This is episode number 162. I want to start by saying that I had mentioned earlier this month that there is a great guest episode waiting to be published. I am sharing that conversation with a registered dietitian around food guilt, nutrition myths and all of that jazz. I thought this would be a really fantastic episode to end the year with. There are always a lot of fields around this time of year with holiday treats and family meals and then going into the new year with all kinds of diets and cupbacks and getting back on track and new year's resolutions and restriction and all kinds of whatever things come with that I think I had mentioned.
Speaker 2:The audio recording didn't really come through, so I got ahold of the platform that I use Excuse me and they were really great. The customer service was amazing. It turns out the audio recording was corrupted and the platform that I used to record those guest episodes wasn't able to recover the audio alone. So what they did was give me the video recording, which I don't usually use the videos mostly because I record my episodes in my pajamas with absolutely no concern about what I look like I always feel a little bit of pressure to look like I put some effort into looking awake and alive on video. So, anyway, I do have this video. I can't just upload it on here like I normally do, so I will likely just put it on YouTube so you all can watch it there. The thing is you'll have to go to my Instagram or my email list to get that because, again, I can't just upload it here. So that's actually a great plug. If you didn't know, I have an email list. No spam ever, just updates on what's going on with brain, body resilience, when there are changes, when I hold events, life reflections and some good brain, body, breath info and practices. My intention on that note for this year, for this coming year, after this year of 2023, being much conserving of energy, is to move forward in 2024 with more practices for y'all to try out. So with that, if you're not already on the list that link is down in the show notes always Go ahead and sign up there. So stay tuned for that YouTube podcast video episode. I'm really excited about that. It's such a wonderful conversation, I think a really great resource going into the new year.
Speaker 2:I am also curious. Do you like seeing podcast videos? Jesus, that's something you watch. I don't do the videos because I, like I mentioned, it takes more time and energy to get camera ready than just like to talk on the mic and say what I have to say. It's also not how I like to consume content. I'm usually listening to podcasts or books while I'm walking or on my commute to work or something like that, so video isn't optimal for me, but I am curious to know if that is something that you're into. So send me an email or message me on IG if you have opinions or feelings about that. I would love to know what you think about it.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's get into this. Today we are talking about the holidays and I know this could have been useful a few weeks ago, but I wasn't going to do the whole holiday stress thing this year, because we do that every year. This episode will actually come out on Christmas Day, so I'm hoping this is useful going into the new year's holiday and also just a plan for next year to take note, literally, if that helps, because we tend to forget things after an entire year. Every year, there is a big influx of stress around the holiday time. I see it in the obligation to see family and the stress that you know comes around navigating difficult relationships there and the pressure to go to all of the gatherings and holiday events with friends and to buy all of the presents for all of the people, to spend more money than you have available to get those things that will make the people happy. But a note there try as we might, we cannot buy happiness or connection in our relationships. So all of those presents aren't going to break or build true connections. I see people trying to keep up with traditions just because they feel obligated, not because they're excited about it, but because they're excited about it. And all of this while trying to force ourselves into the holiday spirit, trying to force joy and fun, which never really works out. Like that does it. I've tried, it doesn't work. So I'm here to tell you you are not Santa Claus, you are not any kind of saint. You are one person with limited amounts of energy, capacity, time, and those are real ass things.
Speaker 2:Let's think about obligations to start out with. I looked up the definition because you know I like that. So obligation is an action you are required to take, required meaning the word there. A lot of times we think an obligation is just something that we will feel bad if we don't do, or something expected by others, and with that we are trying to meet the expectations of other people which is not our responsibility. So what I'm getting at here is that you have a choice. You are a whole person with autonomy. You have agency to choose and while choice isn't always easy or comfortable for sure, because it limits what we're doing we're putting a limit on something. If you choose this, you may not be able to do that. It means saying no, or maybe just not at that time, we not know forever, just not right now.
Speaker 2:Obligations to family or friends or to buy things. With these you get to choose how much you participate and, yes, might some people be upset by your choices? Maybe, but boundaries on your time and your energy require you to consider and sometimes choose, putting yourself first or upsetting others. In either case, you have a choice. You get to choose how much, what, where, how, all those things and the practice of nervous system hygiene is so that we have the capacity to pause and understand that we have that choice, the resources to self-soothe in those uncomfortable situations and decisions that we have to make so that we can pause, consider what we have the capacity to engage in, to consider our own well-being and resources before handing them out to others. We practice self-care so that we know we can actually care for ourselves and handle the consequences of our decisions, and those consequences can be pleasant. I think we think of consequences most of the time as something negative or pleasant. The consequences of you saying no to buying all of the presents for all of the people is that you may have managed your finances in a way that is more sustainable for you and that lowers the stress of worrying about being stretched too thin. The consequences of you declining an invitation to a gathering might be that someone is upset with your choice and you will have. You will I'm stumbling over my words you will have honored your needs to yourself and have more time to recoup and recharge because you made that decision.
Speaker 2:The big takeaway is that you get to choose how much or how little you participate in any aspect of these holidays. And might that feel uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely. Might that ruffle some feathers? Might that ruffle some feathers? Yes to both. Can you learn to soothe the discomfort and build capacity to hold that Also?
Speaker 2:Yes, I had to cancel some play-ins last minute this weekend because I wasn't feeling well and didn't get a lot of sleep and I knew I didn't have the capacity or energy to go. I was still really nervous about the last minute bail, not wanting anyone to be upset with me, worried about like hurting people's feelings, and it was uncomfortable, and I still chose me with the belief that the relationships that I have are supportive and these people will understand that I need to take care of myself, and so I know all of this is different with everyone because we all have different family dynamics, and this might be a bit harder when you have kids and your own expectations for the experience that you want to offer them, and I don't know anything about that I don't have kids but I do know that you still have a choice in what you participate in and how you choose to celebrate. For myself, I don't spend time with anyone that I don't want to. We have some pretty strong boundaries around my time and energy. We have some family that invite us over, but we decline because there are others invited that create an environment that we don't want to participate in and, within my values, time and experience are important to me and more valuable to me than worrying about managing other people's feelings. So leaning into your values can help you make the choices of how you want to spend the resources you have, be it time, money, energy, attention, any of that.
Speaker 2:The bottom line here is that you get to choose.
Speaker 2:You get to put some of the balls that you are juggling down if you want to. Stressing less around the holidays might mean that you have to say no more. More often we'll say you have to say no comma more often, and that can be really uncomfortable at first, but the more you say yes to you, you will feel more comfortable saying no to the things that drain you, the things that are stretching you outside of your capacity, and for the things that you must do, the things that you choose to do. Remember to breathe. Come back to your breath as many times as you need, step away, give yourself two minutes to breathe in silence, to get outside, to look at a tree, to move your body, take some walks, do something that makes you feel cozy, sit in a fuzzy blanket or drink some cocoa whatever it is that makes you feel warm, and ultimately choose you. I'm gonna leave it there. Cheers, happy holidays and I hope this is useful not just for the next week or so, but really kind of going into the next year.
Speaker 2:I will do this again next week. We'll be back. Stay tuned for that YouTube episode. I'm really excited to share that. That's all. Wishing you a wonderful week. Peace out.