In this episode you will hear about how your path to personal healing becomes a beacon for community transformation. I am tearing down misconceptions that self-nurturing is a selfish act, particularly for women who've been traditionally taught to put others first.
Our discussion ventures into the heart of interpersonal neurobiology, revealing how robust relationships do more than just boost our spirits; they're pivotal in recovering from stress and trauma. As we connect the dots of shared human experience, you'll discover the magnetic pull of joy and the stabilizing force of self-regulation, proving that our emotional climate can indeed set the tone for our surroundings.
When we engage in practical ways to maintain 'nervous system hygiene', which is a cornerstone of mental well-being that allows you to be a pillar for those in your life. We can then strengthening our connections, where the simple act of reaching out can ripple into wellbeing throughout our communities.
What is up? Hello there. My name is Jessica Paching Bunch, you can call me JPB, and this is Brain Body Resilience. This is a podcast dedicated to growth, human development and stressing a little bit less so you can go ahead and live a little bit more.
Speaker 2:
Hello and welcome back to the Brain Body Resilience podcast. I am your host, jpb, and today I want to talk about a conversation that I was having with a friend recently about how our own healing radiates into our social circles and ultimately into our community, and I wanted to share a bit about that conversation here and my thoughts on that. I know the thought of taking care of yourself and spending time on yourself. Taking the time to do what you need to do, do your nervous system hygiene, spend some time alone or just do fun shit for yourself is often seen and can feel selfish, which I don't really think there's anything wrong with being selfish, but it has a very negative connotation in our society. It's very much looked down on. We have to take care of ourselves. I think this is especially true for women, who are socialized to care for those around them and put themselves last. In that regard, I'm here to support the idea that taking care of you helps elevate those around you. Now, you're not trying to be better for others. That's all for you to feel better in life, to experience life differently, but in doing that, how you show up in the world affects others. We are who we are in relation to others and to the world around us. Those are the things that inform our experience in life. We are always learning from and adapting to our environment, and part of that is the people that we surround ourselves with. That whole saying about you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That may or may not be true there's a lot of debate but we do tend to do the same kinds of things as the people we spend our time with Our friends, our family. We tend to spend our time with people who share values and opinions and beliefs and likes and dislikes, and because of that we do adapt to our environment and because of that we are also becoming more like the people we spend our time with and begin to imitate each other.
Speaker 2:
There are neuroimaging studies that have shown that having relationships that feel safe and supportive, where you feel seen and known and just safe to be yourself, can reshape how your brain responds to fear and threat. Studies have also shown that social and emotional pain are coded similarly to physical pain in the brain. Both types of pain signal threat to our survival. Keeping in mind that our social, we are social creatures and, evolutionarily speaking, back when we were more tribal, if we were kicked out of the social circle, we would be much less likely to survive. There is a scientific practice interpersonal neurobiology which stresses the importance of our relationships for the health of our mind, specifically how we relate, how we connect with others, and it explores how the brain changes and grows based on relationships. Positive relationships lead to a better sense of mental wellness and having the ability to heal stress and past trauma, whereas we can imagine namaj, damage, unsafe, unsupportive relationships, toxic relationships can have the opposite effect.
Speaker 2:
So how you feel affects those around you. When we are feeling something, we express that through behavior and actions. When we are stressed the fuck out, we're anxious, we're trying to control situations, we're critical and impatient. We are acting that way towards those around us, or, at the very least, we're acting that way, behaving that way, putting that out into the void, and those around you can feel that. And so, on the other hand, when we are excited, when we're full of joy, when we're happy, when we are other positive emotions I need to look at my feelings well and expand that vocabulary. But when we're excited, when we're feeling good, we offer that to those around us as well.
Speaker 2:
Like have you ever heard someone laugh. You have no idea what they're laughing about. Maybe you don't even know them. This happened when I was just walking down the hall at work the other day and somebody was laughing and I just laughed because I appreciated that joy and I think most of us can identify with that. Just having someone who's laugh triggers your laugh, or somebody smiling or somebody filled with joy, it gives you that sense, even if just for a little moment. So the same thing we imitate those around us.
Speaker 2:
We are impacted by the emotions and behaviors of others in the way that we are able to connect and relate, and that changes how we experience life. Being yourself, learning your levels of stress and anxiety, creating a better relationship with yourself All of these things allow you to connect and relate better to others. You are also demonstrating this for others, giving an example of healing and care for yourself. So not only do you feel better in your life, but you are offering that as an example of possibility for others. Another thing is that there's so much suffering in the world and sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to share your joy and excitement about life when those around you don't share that. When people are going through a hard time or generally you're just like not in a good space in life. But sharing your joy doesn't take their joy away. It adds that joy to the room.
Speaker 2:
Being present with your ability to be calm and regulated presence in your self, in your nervous system, and your ability to self soothe. Being present with your calm in a way that you're not constantly on edge. That brings that to the room. You're not sharing that anxious energy, you're not sharing that stress, you're not sharing that irritability, all of the things that come with that. And there's a huge influence from our social environment because of these things on our nervous system state. So when we are able to be grounded in our state of being and we have the tools to self soothe and we are able to offer a stable presence for others, that doesn't mean you are taking on their stress and worries. It just means you are a solid foundation that radiates out from you.
Speaker 2:
And so if you need the reminder taking care of yourself, taking time for yourself, putting your needs first this does not mean you are a terrible person. It does not mean that you don't care about others. It actually shows the opposite that you care about showing up in the best way possible in the world and creating a positive way to navigate the world around you which gives you the ability to be kinder and more patient, more empathetic, more compassionate, more focused and present and having more energy for the people and things that you love. This, that's all I have to share about that today. That's all I have to say about that.
Speaker 2:
So this was just an interesting conversation and it just made me think we need to talk more about this how our individual healing and our individual joy and our individual ability to self-regulate affects those around us and it radiates out like was that like a? When you drop something in the water I can't think of words Like if you're skipping stones, those ripples, the ripple effect. I knew I'd get there and it does. It ripples out from us, and so when we are able to have that presence, it is a positive thing for the world around us, not just for us. It's not selfish.
Speaker 2:
So go out, spread your joy, do your nervous system hygiene, show up for yourself so that we can then, in turn, show up for others. All right cheers and happy day to you, my friend, wishing you a beautiful week ahead. As always, share this with a friend. Let me know if it landed. Share on social media, tag me or just reach out email message whatever. I love connecting with you all and I'm always super grateful to hear from you. We will do this again. Until next time, peace out.