In this episode I'm getting into the true nature of burnout to discover it may not be from overdoing, but under-living our passions. It may not just be doing less that will keep us from burning out but from doing more of the things that fill us with joy and ease and strengthen our sense of self.
We confront the 'shoulds' and the strain of people-pleasing, particularly for those who've been conditioned to prioritize others' needs above their own. It's a call to action for all of us, but especially women, to reclaim our identities and well-being through the simple, powerful act of joy prioritization.
This episode isn't just about discussion; it's an invitation to transform. Embrace the things that make you laugh and your heart sing, while gracefully shedding the weight of obligations that are not your own to carry.
Get in there and give it a listen for more!
Resources:
Manage Your Stress Mentorship
Discovery call
You can find more about Brain-Body Resilience and JPB:
On the BBR Website
On Instagram
On Facebook
Sign up for the BBR newsletter
In this episode I'm getting into the true nature of burnout to discover it may not be from overdoing, but under-living our passions. It may not just be doing less that will keep us from burning out but from doing more of the things that fill us with joy and ease and strengthen our sense of self.
We confront the 'shoulds' and the strain of people-pleasing, particularly for those who've been conditioned to prioritize others' needs above their own. It's a call to action for all of us, but especially women, to reclaim our identities and well-being through the simple, powerful act of joy prioritization.
This episode isn't just about discussion; it's an invitation to transform. Embrace the things that make you laugh and your heart sing, while gracefully shedding the weight of obligations that are not your own to carry.
Get in there and give it a listen for more!
Resources:
Manage Your Stress Mentorship
Discovery call
You can find more about Brain-Body Resilience and JPB:
On the BBR Website
On Instagram
On Facebook
Sign up for the BBR newsletter
What is up? Hello there. My name is Jessica Paching Bunch, you can call me JPB, and this is Brain Body Resilience. This is a podcast dedicated to growth, human development and stressing a little bit less so you can go ahead and live a little bit more. Hello and welcome back to the Brain Body Resilience podcast. I am your host, jpb, and this is our episode number 169.
Speaker 1:Before I jump right in here, I want to tell a little story that also ties in to today's episode. Right before I started recording today, I went out collecting some steps in the sunshine and sat soaking up all that sun for a few minutes with my feet in the grass, and this is significant because the sun does not come out very much this time of year. Here I live in the Pacific Northwest in the United States and it is dark like 15 hours a day and raining, so this was a magical event. So I went and collected some steps, sat on a bench soaking in the sun and I felt life coming back to me, which I had that thought. And then I judged that thought and was like, oh, that's really dramatic, but we know the sun gives life and the winter months are really hard on me here and that is a thing for lots of us living in dark, wet places while expected to keep the same rhythms all year long, which is not how nature is and not how we were intended to be. And so I haven't wanted to do much of anything. I haven't felt a lot of energy and sitting in the sun gave me a moment of that energy, that whole. You know, we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but we do know. I know that I want sunshine, I know that I need some sunshine and I cannot wait for it to come back on a regular basis. But there's a difference between the felt sense of something and the idea that we have of that thing, the intellectual knowledge and the tangible feeling that it gives. When we have that thing or do that thing, experience that thing, and we often don't feel how much we've missed whatever thing that is until we have it. And that is how nervous system hygiene is. When we practice it, we feel good, we feel more at peace and we feel more space to just be, less chaos, less tension, less catastrophic thinking, and we can understand that and know that we can be doing things to make us feel better. But we have to have that felt experience to remember how much difference it actually makes.
Speaker 1:And about the walk I did not actually want to walk. I didn't want to get up and do anything. I wasn't feeling very well, but the sun doesn't stay very long this time of year and the rain had stopped for a moment. So I made myself get up and get out there and I'm so grateful for that. That past moment of self from a couple of hours ago that I did, I immediately felt better. Sometimes spending a little more energy than we feel like in that moment brings us greater rewards. But we do have to get past that whole not feeling like it in the moment thing, which is the hardest part.
Speaker 1:I just wrote about that to my newsletter. People, if you are not on that list, get the link and sign up in the show notes, or you can always find me on IG Instagram and say hi, get the link there, reach out anyway. You know I love to hear from you. So, anyways, I wrote all about that. We're gonna talk a little bit about that here as well. But what I actually wanted to start with today is burnout, which we've talked about before and we will absolutely talk about it again.
Speaker 1:I was listening to my friend and brilliant human, dr Chante co-fields, podcast my story on the mic and she was talking about burnout not being a lack of something or you need, you need to be doing less of something, but you're not doing enough of what you love, and I Absolutely agree with that. I think that often we we just think of it as as doing too much of something that we Hate or don't like or that you know does not fill us and we need to be doing less, when we actually just need to be Doing more of the things that light us up, that give us energy. And I also immediately have the question like with what time are we doing those things? We are all busy and we usually put the things that bring us joy and fill us up and give us energy last on that list and Then we never get to it because we are prioritizing what we think we should be doing and it's not actually. It's not usually taking care of our own needs when we are thinking of what we should be doing.
Speaker 1:Shooting is something I see most in those of us socialized female. Shooting is a form of people pleasing which is inherently compromising to our sense of self, because we are seeking a sense of safety. We want to make sure that we are taking care of those around us, that we're making sure that we are doing what we think we need to in order to be accepted, and this is a natural thing we do as humans. We are social creatures, and community means safety. So there is a reasonable, irrational and understandable reason behind it and it's also not great for us.
Speaker 1:So what if we, instead of thinking about all the things that we should be doing in order to keep our space where we're not upsetting anybody or we're taking care of everyone first, what if we stop to consider what would happen if you do what you want, if you take the time to feel yourself, to rest and repair and be who you want to be, do the things you like to do and then find out that you're still alive, that you're still safe and you might even have more energy and desire to then do all of the other things. And again, there has to be that felt understanding of something to really truly know that it's going to be okay, that it can change, that you can feel better or whatever else. That felt sense gives us the hope that we can create that feeling or outcome again in the future, because we know we've already done it before. And because we've done it before, this instills a sense of hope and understanding that there is possibility of something different. That comes from taking action and seeing that there is something different when we do things differently.
Speaker 1:And this one gets kind of sticky for folks because and I am folks, because we want everything right now Part of this is being human, that's just human nature to do a thing, expect effort and energy, create an outcome. We want to know that we are not wasting that precious energy, that we need to continue to live, and also, this time that we live in, everything is fast, everything is immediate, everything is a quick fix. We have no attention span. We have no. I wouldn't say no. There's always a great area, but our attention is much less than it used to be because of the quick bits of information, the sound bites, the visual bites, the scrolling that we do on a daily basis. We want everything to come quickly, we want things to happen quickly and when they don't, we don't want to stick with it because we think it's not working or it's not worth the effort and we want to move something to where we see those changes in a shorter amount of time, and that is just not how long-term solutions work. That is not the answer.
Speaker 1:Like I mentioned earlier in my newsletter, I talked about doing the hard thing. Maybe it's not actually hard, but it just feels hard. It feels like more effort than we have to spend in that moment because we're fucking tired and just want to relax. But we can't actually relax when we're all stressed out and tense, which is why we then sit there and just like stare at the TV scroll for hours instead of actually doing something, because we don't have the energy Again that time. Where is it coming from to do the things that fill us up? But doing the things that fill us up and give us energy, that lower stress, change our mood, that prioritize health and joy, these things are actually giving us long-term benefits and the more that we practice them, the more those benefits add up to become a stronger base.
Speaker 1:And yes, the practice part is crucial. If we don't do something enough, if we are not doing something, it cannot help us. And if we're not taking action, it doesn't matter how much we know. We intellectually understand that it will help. Information doesn't change anything. It gives us the opportunity to change something, to take action based on that information. And the more that we do these things, the more that we prove that they are useful and the more that we want to make time for them. Because they feel good, because they are having the felt experience that it does change how we feel. It does change what we think we're capable of. It does change our understanding of the agency that we have, or just makes us feel good, brings us joy, laughter in any given situation.
Speaker 1:The more that we do these things, the more that we prove that they are useful and the more we want to make time for them. And then making time to spend the energy seems like a better idea than just sitting on the couch and watching TV, because we know how it feels when we spend a little more energy now and do that thing that fills us up. So I'm going to keep this short and sweet, wrapping this up. Sometimes it's not actually about doing less, it's about doing more of what it is that fills you up and gives you energy, and we are all busy. So sometimes, yes, this means you have to do less of other things, and I know most of us can do less of the staring at screens and take that time to prioritize the things that actually give you energy and joy and help you feel like you want to do other things. And yes, sometimes it feels hard in those moments and we have to spend that initial amount of energy, but it is worth it and the benefits can only add up if you are actually practicing something enough for it to add up.
Speaker 1:So, less doing shit you hate, less worrying about what you should be doing, maybe because those things are important to other people or you want to not let people down, or you are making up ideas about what other people want because we do that a lot. So less worrying about what you think you should be doing and more of what makes you laugh, makes you smile, makes you feel ease and gives you energy to actually do the other shit. That's all I've got today. I am wishing you a beautiful week, like always. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with a friend so they might also benefit andor enjoy. We will do this again next week. Until then, peace.