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The Haven Exchange

Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61

June 15, 2022 Gamer's Haven Network Season 1 Episode 61
Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61
The Haven Exchange
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The Haven Exchange
Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61
Jun 15, 2022 Season 1 Episode 61
Gamer's Haven Network

I think we all have a general understanding of what not to do in society, generally following the laws that build up our nation.  But for a country thats almost 250 years old, there is bound to be many ridiculous, wild, and absurd laws that somehow made it on the books. Likely some individual just had to do the thing... Tune in as we discuss some of our favorite absurd laws across the United States, as well as what laws we think should be in place and also prostate exams, yeah prostate exams. 

What laws would you like to see be made? Let us know!  
  
  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters! <3
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-Nerdershewrote

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-Kurt
-Marlon

Support the Show.

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Show Notes Transcript

I think we all have a general understanding of what not to do in society, generally following the laws that build up our nation.  But for a country thats almost 250 years old, there is bound to be many ridiculous, wild, and absurd laws that somehow made it on the books. Likely some individual just had to do the thing... Tune in as we discuss some of our favorite absurd laws across the United States, as well as what laws we think should be in place and also prostate exams, yeah prostate exams. 

What laws would you like to see be made? Let us know!  
  
  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters! <3
Silver Tier
-Nerdershewrote

Bronze Tier
-Kurt
-Marlon

Support the Show.

Genesis:

Welcome to The Haven exchange podcast number 61. Genesis here bringing you a brand new episode with the rest of my co host here on the weekly podcast. And this week we are exploring the many wild and wacky laws across the United States. So keep on listening to see if your state made the cut. But first we appreciate everyone out there tuning in each and every week and sharing the episodes with your friends and family. Helping us continue to grow we can see the snowball getting bigger All right law breakers Let's be good because it is illegal in all states to not finish the episode. This is Haven exchange number 61 absurd laws of the United States.

Sage:

This is the Haven exchange you remember the remember the real name of that song and then everybody's like no, you can't say that.

Genesis:

It's not let's get it started. No. in here.

Sage:

No. It's not

Genesis:

lady lumps.

Sage:

It was let's let's get retarded but people were like, not you.

Genesis:

Oh, yeah, that was that was the lyrics to Yeah, it was. Yeah, that was Rick's favorite song.

Rick:

No. Okay.

Sage:

The main one leading the charge.

Rick:

Are we just gonna skip past Gen saying he wanted Juneteenth removed from national holidays? Like Are we just gonna move past

Genesis:

that? Never Never said and I never

Rick:

said something about they don't need an extra day on top of the month or something

Genesis:

like that. I don't quite recall that.

Rick:

No, I'm pretty sure I heard you say I don't I don't quite believe that.

Sage:

This February. We can't get no parade. No, nothing.

Rick:

You said something about chicken is all we need or something weird like that. Then you gotta chill. Yes. Yeah, chill on issue.

Genesis:

Let's see. I like chicken though. Like I could live off Chicken. Chicken. Chicken now welcome to The Haven exchange podcast where I absolutely was not saying any of that stuff. Goddamnit Rick. My name is Genesis, one of the CO hosts here on your weekly fun times and shenanigans. Who else is here? Let me just go ahead and you this goddamn fucking ringtone.

Rick:

Please, you guys, everyone listening to this right now. Please say my man, that that ringtone sounds like it's from a 1970s Porn. Okay. Like I feel like good.

Sage:

It always has the most perfect timing. It always

Rick:

does. It's always I feel like you might be doing that on purpose. I was gonna get two phones just texting yourself.

Genesis:

It's fate. There's a much easier way to do it. Like a whole setup. Communicate with two phones. Just because you have like 500 phones. Doesn't mean

Rick:

I don't have 500 phones. I have 500 phone numbers. Let's let's

Genesis:

get that right. Okay. Ah, okay. Yeah, that's much better

Rick:

to speak in a phone but hold on. So you get a phone numbers. Sage at work. Did you know I just found out about Elevate, like two days ago. And like the whole like, that's how everyone communicates with each other and there's a whole separate phone number. Yep. You know, I've been going to all these accounts and given these goddamn maniacs these accounts, my real phone number.

Genesis:

Well, that's just stupid.

Rick:

No one told me about the elevator. No one mentioned anything about it. Not one time that they bring it up and I happen to look at some messages on email about it. And even Ray was like Are you ever going to text me back? Like, what you're talking about? Man?

Genesis:

You didn't think it was strange that you were just giving, like, clients your phone number?

Rick:

No.

Genesis:

Side Hustle, a one 800 Number anyway?

Rick:

Well, if in case like, you know, something's wrong with the machine or something like

Sage:

that, put in a ticket like you did the first time.

Rick:

That's well, no, no, not them. But more of like if I have the incomplete for a machine, and I want to keep them updated with like a TAS and shit. Yeah, he wants to complete them. complete, complete the customer. Now, do what you gotta do, man.

Genesis:

Yeah, suppose get full service? No.

Sage:

So how's that anus injury again?

Rick:

Oh, man. Lot of blood?

Genesis:

How many times? How many times you get tested for?

Rick:

I don't think they need to do a What's that exam? The left you have to do it? 35% Price prostate? I don't need a prostate exam anymore. When you have to do that at 35. Yeah, they recommend they recommend they recommend as early as 35. Yeah,

Sage:

they recommended all they want to do they come up with a new way to do it. Don't get me wrong on us living in the past? Wait, what

Genesis:

I would have would be more comfortable if I knew how to do it to yourself, myself.

Sage:

Do you know where your prostate is located?

Genesis:

It's somewhere in there somewhere that you know, from the mud.

Rick:

The you know, that's funny. The you know, like bumps and lumps you're feeling for like the or you just didn't do you think they just wiggle around? Just like

Genesis:

they're just wiggling around.

Rick:

I'm terrified. Right?

Sage:

Yeah. No, the worst part about a prostate exam is you're that's your most vulnerable as a man that you will be. And when they're doing it. You feel the shame but you get a fucking woody because it naturally gives you a hurdle.

Rick:

Right? Right. So

Genesis:

you've done this. No, I know

Sage:

the human anatomy, sir.

Genesis:

Yeah, he's right. I'm not gonna get a hard on from that.

Sage:

No, you definitely. It's kind of impossible. Not Yeah.

Rick:

Like, it's gonna happen.

Genesis:

Yeah. I mean, if there's anything that I can control my life, it's probably going to be that like, no, no. Well, just, there's gonna be a lot of confusion afterwards, then. We'll just

Rick:

do it yourself. Try. Go ahead and try it right now. And see what happens.

Genesis:

I don't have the I just grew fingernails too, so I'm extra scared.

Sage:

Oh, man, you can go online. I'm pretty sure there's some type of toy you can get.

Rick:

Now we're gonna see him on the 10 o'clock news. Genesis. I was gonna use your real name but

Genesis:

I mean, the doctor's office or like, you know, he could be there.

Sage:

Doesn't it makes it even weirder. So he's just watching.

Rick:

Well, that's weird, dude. If I not if but when I get this exam, I'm gonna lose my mind if he wiggles his finger even just a little bit. I'm gonna be going to jail for murder for sure.

Genesis:

Fuckin couple. Oh, is it gonna look my ring in there? And say some dumb joke. You know?

Rick:

You want to get dinner after?

Genesis:

You gotta buy me dinner first doc.

Sage:

My fingers that when you get your fingers out of my eyes. I mean, you gotta fight. Yeah, yeah.

Rick:

Or don't. Or if he's like, Hey, I need you to look back at me to make sure you're okay. Like, dude, I'm not looking you in the eye. While you look back at me Did you guys ever see that impractical? Jokers episode? Yeah, MER got the prostate exam in front of a live audience in front of me got it twice.

Sage:

Oh, no. Oh,

Genesis:

yeah. You mean to tell me like we're just that advanced in technology and we still just go on the finger butts.

Sage:

Like I say I want that one. I will be there with you on that. Oh, like that one. We should find something

Rick:

like can you give me like a no, check my ear? Or like,

Sage:

let me swallow pill or something. You can look at it on the way the pill comes down to some shit, you know? But then, do you really want to be dig into your own poop? Right?

Genesis:

I mean,

Rick:

or what if they slip you something that puts you to sleep and then you know If

Sage:

they don't put you to sleep like if they put me under go and put me on

Rick:

Yeah, no, hell no man. I don't want my asshole.

Sage:

I'm not gonna lie. I rather be knocked out and be oblivious. Didn't have to lift the shit

Rick:

is gonna be traumatized

Genesis:

up on the internet of like them too and selfies with your butthole ah,

Rick:

ah, I hope you too I hope you to never become doctors or anything like that because

Genesis:

that's the one reason I won't become a doctor. Nasty fucking furry man as is you gotta stick a finger, right? Well,

Sage:

you can decide what part of the body you want to work on

Genesis:

to general practitioners. Man, that's what the doing.

Sage:

You don't have to be a general practice you'd be especially

Rick:

when you guys when you guys were in high school or even before high school, I think when you had to take physicals Did you? Did you give female doctors or male

Sage:

male doctors

Genesis:

say I had females?

Rick:

Yeah, mine that did the cough. Were getting off it. Mine was a female. And I'm like, I feel like at first I wanted to be like, Do you know what? What's down there? Like, how do you know what? Like, I know you went to medical school and all that shit. But like, I feel like a guy should be

Genesis:

trained. Right? Like,

Rick:

do you just look at the x all day? Like,

Sage:

cuz they're checking for a hernia? And I'm like, I'm a kid. I got a hernia. Why are we doing this?

Rick:

Yeah, I'm like a freshman in high school. I don't know what the like, what? I barely know what's down. Like you, you want to test it? Go for it.

Genesis:

I had one later when I had I had a work injury. And I had to go and so they had to do like the full physical. So I was like 20 something and had another female doctor then. So I'm like, that made it even more nervous.

Rick:

She's like handling it.

Sage:

I'm like, ridiculously curious, because I know you've worked. So I'm trying to figure out what type of injury you could have gotten.

Genesis:

I cut my arm open with a box cutter. How does

Sage:

that pertain to your balls?

Rick:

How do you cut your arm and they're checking.

Genesis:

I don't know that sort of I had to go to the the workman's comp, like doctor or whatever. And so they did like the full workup while they stitched me up. Was this a game? So notice that Kosis

Sage:

No. Navi any touch my boss,

Rick:

this man's photo is somewhere on the dark web right now. trousers down fucking. They're just

Sage:

doing that thing where he's like looking over his shoulder. And he has like the one finger on his lip.

Genesis:

They paid for that shit to company dime. It was good job.

Rick:

So you got to wait, your job paid for you to get a redrum or

Sage:

so was that like a rule or alarm of the company that you have to get that because you got hurt on Jet?

Genesis:

Well, yeah. Because you have to do a whole incident report. And you know, they got to make sure things were protected. And so yeah, that's

Sage:

totally a law. That feels like a stupid law.

Genesis:

It feels like a great law to me. First of all, however. It's interesting that you bring that up. Because

Sage:

you win these damn pauses.

Rick:

You make it? Oh,

Sage:

that was such a clean segue. It was such a clean segue.

Genesis:

Well, yeah, I was trying to make it better than I made it worse. Because if you hadn't read the title, if you hadn't read any of the promotions, then you're coming into the episode completely blind. Then you might not know that we de are talking about stupid laws. Is that what we're talking about? Yes. Isn't the framework here?

Sage:

Yeah, I would say stupid because there's a lot of people out there like to think of himself was good, you know, upstanding citizens not realizing they've been breaking the law left and right.

Genesis:

Well, do you follow the laws, the regular like, laws that we're kind of aware of? General basis

Sage:

where I got rid of a tattooed on my back where you think

Genesis:

it's true. But that could be a front you know, like, what, what was the law? You couldn't wear cowboy boots unless you own two cows?

Rick:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can't wear

Sage:

my question. If you own one cow Can you own what can you wear one cowboy boots. Oh,

Rick:

this is in the life. California. Flight California. Yeah, I believe that

Genesis:

we're down there.

Sage:

Are there even any cows in California?

Genesis:

I mean, yes, surprisingly, ya know, like Northern California is huge fields of cars, there's even beach cows of drove in like the coast out here. And there's cows just chillin on the beach. They're fucking living their best life like I want to eat that cow. Because, you know, they say like the happy cows taste the best. Imagining a fucking beach cow.

Sage:

Is that is that cow happy? Because you know, it doesn't have grass to eat on. So just sitting there and saying no,

Genesis:

you should see that man in the same East Coast coasts or like Lakeshore drive. It is vegetation along the along the beach side. So they Yeah, they got plenty of sunshine. Green greens to eat. I hope they're not drinking the saltwater though that's probably not good for them.

Sage:

So would they be like, everywhere kind of like deers are here.

Genesis:

And they're not just well, like on the coast. They're just rolling. But I imagine they belong to some farm out there. There's a lot you see a lot of like crops and shit.

Sage:

That'd be home before the street light comes on.

Genesis:

But I was just as a surprise when I moved out here to see as much cattle like that. I didn't expect that. So life I'm imagining that's gotta be North Northern California.

Rick:

Oh, trust me. My list here is focus is solely going to be focused on California. Right? That's just mean. No, it's gotta be because they like California has some of the strangest laws I love. He's Tony, if you're listening to this.

Sage:

Okay, I one, Delaware. Alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time. So why the fuck are we even there?

Genesis:

If you're dancing, you can't serve alcohol.

Sage:

No, if if anybody is dancing at that nightclub, that nightclub cannot serve alcohol. Oh,

Genesis:

what do you think the origin of that would have been? Like? Like the dancing gets just out of control and people are drinking

Sage:

it. Delaware apparently was the real Footloose town. Oh,

Rick:

that that makes sense.

Genesis:

No, kind of sounds like some shit that would happen in Delaware. No disrespect to our Delaware listeners. Not even having internet get the hips. Well, we see a lot of like alcohol based laws in Illinois, like, you know, you can't serve on or you can't sell alcohol on like Sundays. Right? And a lot of the counties I guess Yeah, that's probably probably I guess it's not just Illinois, but I always find that pretty strange.

Sage:

But think it's funny that you mentioned drinking in Illinois. Because apparently those under 21 In Illinois, can legally drink. But they must be enrolled in culinary program to do so.

Genesis:

Ah, that makes sense. No,

Sage:

no. So get this. I can go toward 18. Can't drink. But if I'm learning how to make a souffle, I got to be

Genesis:

well, yeah, because a lot of times you're cooking with and you're pairing with like liquors and you're cooking with the liquors

Sage:

when you cook with liquor you by the time it's done cooking, the liquor alcohol part of it is already burned through it.

Genesis:

Do you really want our armed forces like our recruits like getting fucked up, though?

Sage:

Somebody did a tour and somebody left at 18 and came back at let's say, 19. That man deserves drink.

Genesis:

Okay, yes. Once they're done, and they're still underage. Yes, you've earned it. You've totally earned that. But not beforehand.

Sage:

You can even smoke cigarettes in Illinois unless you're 21 Now,

Genesis:

yeah, that's a recent law change. That's at least within the past 10 years.

Rick:

I think like four or five relatively new for sure.

Genesis:

They're starting to ban I don't know out there but out here in California, a lot of the counties they're banning menthol cigarettes. So like certain counties, you can't buy like Newports or any menthol flavored tobacco products across the board.

Sage:

Sounds a little racist. is racist.

Genesis:

I think your notion of being racist is the racist statement.

Sage:

I mean, let's be real Newport so those are those are those are our squares.

Genesis:

That's your squares. Okay. I mean, I mean, if you were to say cool, maybe

Sage:

not belong to like trailer parks.

Genesis:

That was a trading Trading Places Oh, my carpet

Sage:

cools in Virginia Slims.

Genesis:

Yeah, so out here they, depending on which county you're in you can't they they're not allowed to sell menthol or like any other flavor. So just like the regular flavored tobacco cigarettes, but

Sage:

I want to see somebody talk this one. And also I need somebody to tell me what happened to make this a law. Okay, in Arizona, it is illegal to promote the use of or own more than six dildos.

Genesis:

It's illegal to own more than six dildos

Sage:

to own or promote the use of more than 60.

Genesis:

I had to add that second part on there, of course,

Sage:

I would have what happened here, right.

Rick:

And then what happens like Like if I'm in Arizona, right, and I take a picture of seven dildos, am I gonna get arrested? Or is it like a fine like, what's

Genesis:

the penalty? Sounds like you're promoting more than six? Yeah, I'm

Rick:

in I'm in Illinois, so I don't give a fuck. And always doesn't have that shit.

Genesis:

But like when you're like arrested for having like a pound of weed, and they're like, assuming that you're going to traffic it like that's what you're doing with those seven dildos. Yeah. Or the picture of it.

Rick:

All you think maybe I'm gonna be going around selling dildos. Maybe that's fine.

Sage:

Way more questions.

Genesis:

The DP special.

Sage:

Going round eight.

Rick:

A dog. Hey,

Genesis:

wait a minute is what's the what's the Latin for six? Like, you know, he got like, You got double, triple. Quadruple is four. What is five? Because isn't six like sextuplet?

Sage:

Is it? Yeah, actually. Yeah. Five is a quintuple or something like that. Right.

Genesis:

Kind of interesting, right. A little bit a little bit. I'm seeing a connection. I suppose Rick's not gonna move to Arizona and or No, you were trying to move to Arizona, right, sage?

Sage:

Yeah, but I mean, that's not really anything you have to worry about. Because I don't have a deal though. To worry about six. Um

Genesis:

I don't know. We're gonna see him busted in here.

Sage:

That's what I go to jail for out of everything that I do. They got it.

Genesis:

You know, it'd be good karma for you, like fairly out of everything you've done. And then that's what gets you like, that's the story that I want to hear about your life.

Rick:

Oh, for sure.

Genesis:

How much time do you think that was? Just a fine.

Sage:

You gotta be fine. It has to be like, if I click on it doesn't give me the origin. That would be great. I need to know.

Genesis:

Like, and they're hurting a whole like, Well, I mean, do you think women have what do you think the average amount of dildos a woman owns?

Rick:

What a hold on across the state? Are we thinking? dildos or arms? Are we only talking to those? Are we talking like sex toys in general?

Genesis:

I'm just gonna say dildos for the, just because the law specifically says those,

Sage:

I would say maybe four.

Rick:

I was gonna say like, two two? Yeah, I

Sage:

would say maybe four.

Genesis:

Four.

Rick:

I feel like there's too many dicks. Like what like, how many different sizes do you think sometimes it

Genesis:

is, I don't know.

Sage:

The white bit they might have they might have that one little doodle that like it takes on the wall in the shower so they can just do that shit with it.

Rick:

Oh my god. No, I

Sage:

mean, do those different occasions.

Rick:

That's a you might be on to something

Sage:

and then we're just talking about getting the battery operated yet.

Genesis:

Is that still a dildo right below is like just a phallic shape toy.

Sage:

So this is our conversation.

Genesis:

I can't find a statistic to that tells me

Sage:

how many I don't where would you even be able to find that?

Genesis:

I mean there's a stat for everything if you just look hard enough what says nearly 80% of all of female us sex toy owners over 18 have a vibrator at home but it doesn't tell me how many though so maybe

Rick:

I feel like that you know that foggy? I feel like that's a that's a weird question right because what person in their right mind is going to answer a consensus where it's like hey, how many dildos do you have in your drawer right now? Like how would you who How do you get that information?

Sage:

I guess maybe if somebody has like the like, lovers lanes cart and purchases

Rick:

Yeah, I guess like oh, let me tally this is this check. Mark five

Sage:

All right, cool. No matter how shitty of a job there has to be to tally how many deal those people buy. Isn't there like a quality control inspector for dodos to like your job all day? Let me just play with this.

Genesis:

Oh, here we go. Oh, my the top answer this is just sex toys in general was the average was three at and then 12% of women so they owned 11 to 15 sex toys. Got

Sage:

11 to 15

Genesis:

but that's sex toys in general, not just dildo. So that can be broken up by a lot of different toys. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could consider like handcuffs as a sex toys. So like I could see how that builds up. That's still

Sage:

a lot though. Can you imagine how? Unless you're really into like this kinky shit like that. Can you imagine how little that will make me feel as a man? If I walk into my girl's room, and she opens the door and it's just full of fucking sex toys.

Genesis:

I don't just mean she likes to get happy time.

Sage:

Yeah, and clearly, I'm not providing it enough to where she needs this many options.

Rick:

Could be her happy time before you came into picture. You know, and she just never got around to empty and out the door.

Sage:

The motherfuckers got tags on

Rick:

Wait, wait, wait a minute I just bought today.

Sage:

Is this what you got from Amazon?

Genesis:

Wow, that drawers loud.

Rick:

Man. I'm trying to think where did I there was someone that that happened to where they they their vibrator just started going off in their purse. Maybe it's like a Facebook video or something I saw what is

Sage:

another question? Why are you holding on to in your purse? Yeah. Oh, for that mid day. I don't call it

Rick:

mid day. Being flicking session.

Genesis:

Beam flicking. Yeah. I mean, early 90s. No, no.

Rick:

You know, let me explain it to you because I feel like you don't know what the brain is. Okay.

Genesis:

Where's it at?

Rick:

Have you ever found it or have it?

Sage:

No. As weird as that one was? I'm just not going to Rhode Island.

Genesis:

Rhode Island.

Sage:

It is illegal for a person to bite off another person's limbs. Why is this alone? Yeah, like

Genesis:

this? Not only Rhode Island

Sage:

clearly this had to happen at least twice. For them to be like no, we need to put this down in law somewhere.

Rick:

Yeah, this happened somewhere for them to be like huh you know? And it was put it on the books

Genesis:

that were handled electors from maybe it was a one hour 105 or BookPeople leader I know everything about the you know who doesn't know anything about them? Yep, I have no idea what you're talking about. You know the song though, right? I do not use that was the first time you heard that song just now. i Yes. It was a one I want horrifying Purple People leader.

Sage:

Okay, no. Save yourself and give us a California fun fact. Okay, because God damn it.

Rick:

What's the fro? You can't We can't just gloss over that in the song. Is it? Purple, purple, purple.

Genesis:

Purple, purple Peter eater.

Rick:

I got one for you. In San Francisco, any person classified as ugly may not legally Walk down any street.

Genesis:

And no, yes. Yes, that's

Rick:

right. Who determines what so like, do you file a grievance against someone? We're

Sage:

out here right now.

Genesis:

citizen's arrest.

Rick:

citizen's arrest like a man I You know, I went to go pick her up and she didn't look like a profile picture. You know? That she she looks like Rosie O'Donnell today.

Sage:

You know, that's kind of like that thing that happened in Japan.

Rick:

Yes, that is kind of Yeah, I heard him. In Japan,

Sage:

he this guy married this girl. Not knowing that she had all this fucking plastic surgery done. Got kids and the kids come out ugly. And he's like, What the fuck? Look like, don't look like either of us. So she finally tells him like, oh, yeah, I have plastic surgery. My man divorced and sue her. And

Genesis:

he won. Yeah.

Rick:

I mean, that's false advertisement, you know, let's say. It's like you can sue for that. Apparently, you could definitely sue for anything.

Sage:

I was like, I mean, I get it. I would have been kind of pissed, too.

Genesis:

I mean, he sounds like kind of a shit person though. Just to call his baby's ugly like that.

Sage:

Is Japan is a different culture altogether. Yes. They do a lot of weird things. Like their toilets for instance. No way in hell.

Genesis:

That's a dream come true for Rick. Get him in fucking Japanese toilet.

Rick:

Yes. Of the day that Kojima

Genesis:

is

Sage:

there's not a bad day. y'all haven't clearly y'all haven't seen Japanese toilets. Yeah,

Genesis:

500 buttons, but one of the things is a bad day Good afternoon, doesn't it like just test your pool and

Sage:

those are some of the good those are some of the newer models like because they're trying to conform more to Western but this is what they used to look like. And a lot of places still have them like this

Genesis:

so for those who are just only listening with their ears on this episode, He's showing us a toilet which I don't see anywhere actually

Sage:

so it's in a some of the Yeah Oh, I

Genesis:

see. Oh, that's just it looks like a hole in the floor.

Sage:

Yeah, that's all it is. It's a fucking hole in the floor that you that they squat over take shits take the piss whatever should be illegal.

Rick:

Right this is what they need to do working on making shit like this illegal. Like oh my god.

Sage:

I wanted to go to Tokyo then I found out the toilet. Like um, because they didn't I never got to me.

Genesis:

Let me has to get an emergency prostate exam. hilarious.

Rick:

Hilarious.

Genesis:

Sir, you're supposed to evacuate your bowels before you come to these. But your toilets

Sage:

so weird. Couldn't do it? Couldn't do it.

Rick:

No, no, absolutely not. I will. I you know, the more I look at this, because you know Hold on, hold on. Oh, here we are here. Because don't they say the gargoyle style is the best way to shit. Like in that way for your posture and shit. Yeah,

Genesis:

that's what I got the squatty potty, right.

Rick:

So I mean, this just like shitting on the floor.

Genesis:

is pretty much just shitting on the floor. If you detach the urinal from the the wall, and you put it into the ground, that's what this toilet looks like that he showed us.

Sage:

Don't worry. It'd be in the thumbnail. Yeah.

Rick:

Now, but hold on. I don't I mean, I feel like with the way Japanese people like take the shoes off and everything you know when they go indoors. First of all, I would not trust something like this in America, because people are fucking gross in America. Right? Yeah, I would absolutely be okay with this and in Japan. You know, so I apologize, man.

Genesis:

They're humans. Humans are disgusting.

Rick:

Yeah, for sure.

Sage:

They don't take showers per se. They like sit down on like this like wooden plank and wash their bodies while they sit down and then, like hop into a tub or some shit. Sounds cool. It's weird, man. It's weird. And I love the Japanese culture, but apparently not as much as I thought. Like, not for me, not for me. What about you, Jen? What do you what do you get for us?

Genesis:

Um, let's see. I don't have any. I'm just here for the ride. Ah in New York the penalty for jumping off of a building is death

Rick:

I don't know how to even process what you just said like

Sage:

I mean all right. It could be a small building in the still gotta kill you list.

Genesis:

I mean yeah

Sage:

like what if it's like a play school building that that just seems it seems very wasteful and somebody just wants to kill some people.

Genesis:

Oh they appealed it in 2004 Actually my bad to downside when they got rid of the death penalty Yeah. All right.

Rick:

I got one for you. In prone Dale, I think that's how you pronounce it prone to prone to do to Fornia Yeah, of course all California buddy. To bathtubs cannot be installed in the same house. Huh? Yeah, yes,

Sage:

you can like fire code or something.

Rick:

I mean, first of all, it's silly to be like, hey, hey, what are you doing with that of the bathtub? No. I saw the crane load one and already what would you need the other one for now,

Genesis:

we have a lot of water restrictions out here. So I could see that being maybe falling into that like water waste. If you have two bathtubs, I

Rick:

could see that I could I could definitely go let's do

Sage:

Remagen reminds me every time of the day when Ray was out there and I couldn't do it. And somebody pissed him off. So he went back to his hotel and just let the water run.

Genesis:

He took a picture of him in the hotel room just turning on the faucet and letting it run. Yeah, so

Rick:

one absolute maniac.

Genesis:

There is also like a lot of the houses out here they have fireplaces in them. But you're actually like you're only allowed to use them on certain days of the week. Like you know how like you guys have like you can only what is it like you can't water your lawn in certain areas on certain days. Like the fireplaces.

Sage:

Well, I guess you know, y'all have a whole fire season.

Genesis:

Yeah.

Sage:

Don't need to be promoting. I mean polluting that much. Yeah.

Genesis:

Yeah, just like we need our water. So stop putting into fucking bathtubs. What do you need to for? How often is it likely that two people need to have a bath at the same time? Like just wait? To

Sage:

be fair, I'm too big to fit in front of me after any goddamn way. So I care less about that rule.

Genesis:

So you're gonna have anyone needed

Sage:

that I I would like to know, this has to there has to be a newspaper clipping or something somewhere for this. But apparently in Alabama, their wrestling matches are prohibited.

Genesis:

They were wrestling bears. They had wrestling each other.

Sage:

Does this go with all of the above?

Genesis:

Or is it too burly Gaiman. Which what are we talking about?

Sage:

I don't think this law was created that recently for for that turned out to be going around. What? This not not when when they say it what state this was? So it was it makes sense. It makes

Genesis:

that's a good thing. They tell us a lot and we'll guess the state.

Sage:

It is illegal to sell your children.

Rick:

Oh, that's 100% Oh, I guess in the other way. Now, here's the thing, though. Is it strange for other states to not have that law? Yeah, I mean,

Sage:

I mean, yeah, but this state is 100% is if any

Genesis:

kid in any state

Rick:

right? No, but yeah, but the fact that other states don't have this law doesn't mean it's not illegal in those other things.

Genesis:

You know, like mate so does right does that mean you can sell your kid the other state then besides the state?

Rick:

Oh, no. One of you guys probably like Georgia. I was gonna say Alabama.

Sage:

Dancing around it Florida. That's screams Florida,

Rick:

Florida.

Genesis:

Is that because they're like, Cuba?

Sage:

Because it's whoa,

Rick:

whoa. Why? Go on The Cube isn't this Geez?

Genesis:

Well, like, you know, immigrants coming in and then they want their kids have better lives. So they're like,

Rick:

Oh, Jesus, man, you are on a roll today. You just don't like all kinds of minorities.

Genesis:

I'm just finding the logic.

Rick:

Cool, man. You don't like people's darker?

Genesis:

I love all people.

Sage:

Everything about that screen Florida Do

Genesis:

you sell your children to one?

Sage:

Googliness one of them knock at your door.

Genesis:

Yeah, this is a

Rick:

podcast right here officer.

Genesis:

selling or buying of children laws are serious federal, oh, it's a federal I cannot

Rick:

just Google that. You are on a list somewhere right now. You are definitely just been added to some database. So this motherfucker is looking at how to sell children.

Genesis:

I don't want to buy him though.

Rick:

I mean, I feel like selling them. No, I feel like Solomon was just

Genesis:

a bit you know? It's just it's equally as bad.

Rick:

I think so. Yeah. Because I think if you first of all, if you're willing to sell a child, what else are you willing to sell? I feel like you guys dark shit

Genesis:

around how much how much you think that kid goes for?

Rick:

I'm not gonna answer that. I'm not gonna answer.

Sage:

The fact that we can actually look it up, you know, with child trafficking and everything. But we're not going to do that.

Rick:

Yes. Because I would eventually like to get back on a plane at some point. You know, I would like to maybe own a firearm or something. You know?

Genesis:

How much? How much would you say it costs to have a kid? Because,

Sage:

you know, I know I can tell you how much it costs to sell a kid. A kid a kid goes for about 47,000 And I know this, because you remember a couple years back that website got called, oh, trafficking children.

Rick:

Silk Road.

Sage:

No, it was a it was like a furniture website and it was like a dresser will sell for like 40,000. And people are like what? And then they looked in the FBI gotta hold it like this is a person

Genesis:

that say the average adoption is 47 or 40,000. To 70,000. Yeah. You really, you just had to know that. That's the one factor you want to be known for. of knowing that sage 70 makes a real book of Wisdom.

Rick:

He has a ton of knowledge. And we are not associated in any way.

Genesis:

Not in any way.

Sage:

Saying you need makes money real fast. Little Timmy been getting F and talking back.

Genesis:

But is it worth more to have the money or zombie caution plan with the baby though?

Rick:

Or is it worth getting raped in prison? What do you mean? Like if you sell a child? You're going to be someone's plaything in federal prison. Somebody's gonna give you cost them prostate exams you know? Wait Wainer don't do it. You know?

Sage:

You're not wrong. I mean,

Genesis:

a killer J can check my prostate while you're back there.

Sage:

Chilly. J

Rick:

Oh my goodness. Is that Is that his

Genesis:

name? That's his name. It's my fictional prison. Rapist.

Rick:

That's a prison boyfriend or

Genesis:

my prison wife.

Sage:

Which which state is this? That doesn't like people to have fun. Okay, it is illegal in bars. Yeah, probably is one of those middle states

Rick:

one of those somewhere but it

Sage:

is illegal for bars to run a two for one deal on alcoholic drinks in this state.

Genesis:

A two for one deal.

Rick:

Oh, you don't? I feel like that sounds like some Vegas shit. But you say this to say that doesn't like to have fun. Right? Yeah. Okay, so when we do it's probably

Genesis:

Pennsylvania.

Rick:

I'm gonna go with North Dakota.

Sage:

No, no. It's a little south of the equator. South of the equator.

Rick:

Well, there are no states I mean

Genesis:

knowledge just went out the window

Sage:

to the Mississippi

Genesis:

and those are which they

Sage:

gave me shit. On

Genesis:

Main equator lime

Sage:

Mason Dixon,

Genesis:

is that one set where the Hatfields are

Sage:

Hatfields and McCoys.

Rick:

what a what a guy

Sage:

is Georgia sir Georgia?

Genesis:

Oh, Tim and I sit down when earlier to y'all ever reminds me though, let me see what do you guys think about the law that, like bartenders are the ones that get prosecuted for over serving and that in that customer goes and like, has a fatal accident or something? And you agree with that?

Sage:

I was a bartender, I was a licensed bartender. Yeah. 100% agree with it.

Genesis:

Why do you what why do you agree with that? Because I mean,

Sage:

you should know when to cut somebody off for their safety and for everybody else's safety around you shouldn't over over serve somebody.

Rick:

Right? Because if they're just because you're trying to make a buck, right, right, you're you're pretty much putting profits ahead of that person safety along with everyone that they will inevitably come in contact with, while they

Genesis:

take away responsibility of the person itself. It does,

Rick:

but the person, like when the person's inebriated, like that, they don't know their responsibilities are out the window.

Sage:

Yeah, it takes away their responsibility, but your responsibility is to not let them drink and drive and shit like that.

Rick:

Right? Yeah. I mean, I get Yeah, I get what you're trying to do, Jen, like, I understand what you're, you know, the people that are behind the wheel and all this shit, they're the ones that should be fully punished. But the bar should also have some sort of responsibility, even if it's just a fine or something like that, you know, just be like, hey, this person was seen leaving this bar completely shit faced and you let him go? With no, you know, but then on the flip side, though, you can't really detain someone either. Yeah, I mean, you can't be like, you know, can you be like, No, you're not allowed to leave or let me get over someone else to objective

Genesis:

of a choice to make. Yeah, not

Sage:

really. Can you think about it? If you decide to cut somebody off and they start being belligerent, and like, No, you can't like that person's drunk. They're gonna stay there long enough arguing for you to call the cops and still be there arguing. Like they're your problem now. Not me.

Genesis:

Right? Right. Have you when you were a bartender? Did you have to cut people off?

Sage:

No, I'm a degenerate

Genesis:

I just want people to have fun.

Sage:

You give me $50 I got up you can get it from me though. Those are some good nights. I made so much money. Yeah, bartenders

Genesis:

make bank well in Indiana, one arm piano players must perform for free. Let's seems kind of fucked up.

Sage:

They must perform for free. Why the must

Genesis:

it seems a little ridiculous. Yeah,

Sage:

that seems very ridiculous.

Genesis:

circus act was fucking you doing?

Sage:

Yeah. I I wonder how this law played out considering everything that's recently going on. is illegal for group of people to wear masks in public.

Genesis:

Oh, what state was that? New York? There's no way that's a current law

Sage:

that they had to be like.

Genesis:

What are we gonna do?

Sage:

Like everybody kind of has to wear a mask.

Genesis:

When I guess Texas,

Sage:

Texas, it's illegal to say anything against Texas.

Genesis:

I think I've seen one where like, you couldn't take more than three sips of beer while you were standing in Texas. You had to be sitting

Sage:

essentially. And it was illegal to shoot a man and back in Texas.

Genesis:

That's a good one.

Sage:

But the fact that they that everybody's walking around like living in the wild wild west

Genesis:

Yeah, that's there's honor. You know, at least there's some honor there.

Rick:

Yeah, let me know. Honor among Thieves, you know, yeah, I was I you know, I stepped away for a minute and I was just like, Oh, I heard honor. was the last thing. Yeah. Even notice in regards to no no idea. So I got another one. In Long Beach. It is prohibited to put anything other than cars in the garage. Like you can in long Okay, California.

Genesis:

That's see like That's stupid. And it seems like that's the state like infringing on like your like your property like you own that shit? Yeah. Why can they justify or tell you what to do? Do

Rick:

it California? Right? This is the same state that's like what are they there's something with like solar panels like if you want to do solar panels or no, it's a floor tiles, you can't change your floor tiles without a permit in your house. Like you need to get permission from your, from your county.

Genesis:

Like I get like, like some of those I've heard where they're, like considered historical, like, historical landmarks or whatever. And then you have to like, you can't alter anything, if you own the place. Like I get something like that. But like it was just your house? Or like, isn't there a lot of like states where you can't like even paint the color of your house? Whatever you want, or like put up anything like you have to get to get like, you're just not allowed to?

Rick:

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, there are some way to most specifically in California, or just in

Genesis:

Snyder know where that I know, like, California, you see, like, if you drive to the neighborhood, and like in my area, you'll see completely different architecture from one house to the next color is very vibrant, like from one house to the next. Because there's no laws out here that state you can that you can just do whatever the fuck you want to your house and a lot of other states. I know, I know, Illinois has some of these restrictions where you can't just do whatever the fuck you want to your house. Yeah,

Rick:

there are some states where yeah, they don't allow you to, like if you want to just paint your house pink randomly. I mean, you probably can, but you have to get permission. And the shitty thing about it is it's also pretty much up to the worker that you talk with at the city hall or the village hall or whatever, because, right? Because if they're just in a bad mood, or if they just think your idea is stupid, they can absolutely deny it. And then this, they don't even really need to give you an excuse. They could just be like, Well, no, you know, we don't allow we don't allow certain colors. Right? Yeah, like at a my girls school. They don't allow them to they don't allow the kids to have like different color hair. Unless it's like the natural colors, right? Blonde, black red shirt, like, oh, they can like pink or No, no, they don't allow them to have any colors. And their thought process is because it's distracting. Right? And it's like, they're fucking seven years old. Everything is distracting to a seven year old. You know, I could

Genesis:

see maybe like a private school where there's dress code, or like, like, not dress code, but like uniforms. Right? I can see maybe then, like they would have been like, like it is a public school. Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's stupid.

Rick:

It's It's crazy, stupid. But it's the same. It's the same county where my work van I had to call the City Hall. And it's actually a part of Chicago's regulations to where you cannot park commercial vehicles with like, you know, company logos and shit in residential areas. Like, oh, they're thought and I remember asking the officer like, does that make sense to you? Like, that doesn't make any sense, right? Because what, like, what are they saying? Like, oh, I can't advertise? Or, you know, I can't advertise because I'm in a residential area. Like, what is? What does that mean? Why, like, what, like, I don't have there's no company phone number. There's no address, it literally is just the name of this one. I mean, it's, it's blatantly a lot. Like, you know, it's a white van with like, a bunch of colors and shit on it. But like, it's just got the company name. And then like, some of the products that are attached to that company, right,

Genesis:

and they just will get in trouble or a ticket or something in that neighborhood. Yeah,

Rick:

you're gonna take some of the guys, some of the guys on the team had to get all white vans, because now that they're in Chicago, you can't park in residential residential areas with these, you know, with these types of vehicles, and I still have not gotten a clear answer as to why like,

Genesis:

what what are the stakeout cops going to drive them?

Rick:

I mean

Genesis:

you know some fake cleaners Vaseline on when they're trying to watch and about to read a house or something like they're not going to do that. It's their camouflage is gone.

Rick:

Sure, I guess. But first of all, They have the first of all, how many vehicle? How many police vehicles? Have you seen? Where they didn't blatantly look like an unmarked car?

Genesis:

I mean, none. But that's the thing you don't know. How would you know? You only know the ones that you do know? True. True there. You could drive past fucking 1000 of them a day, you wouldn't know.

Rick:

No, but I feel like a lot of them are pretty obvious. You know? Like,

Genesis:

you look at the license plate and they all say MJ 12 on it. You know, it's a fucking police car.

Rick:

Right? What are they? Sometimes they'll do like the like the what's the spotlight that they have right above the light side mirrors. They'll have that sitting there or like, you'll blatantly see like a cage between the front seat in the backseat. Like,

Genesis:

yeah, I'm gonna I'm talking about like the stakeout ones in the stakeout vans don't have that shit.

Rick:

Now you're given some officers, and some police departments way too much credit.

Genesis:

I'm sure like the Harvey Police Department doesn't have the funds for the super decked out stakeout van.

Rick:

Yeah, no, Harvey Police Department says this is not Harvey PD. On the side. That's the that's the kind of fun

Genesis:

you have to say your cup of your cup, right.

Sage:

So I don't know. I mean, but I've never been in that situation.

Rick:

I gotta go home for you. In the city of walnut. It is California. Right walnut, California. You it is prohibited to fly a kite higher than 10 feet off of the ground.

Genesis:

Well, obviously that's for safety purposes, you know, for lightning strikes. And Benjamin Franklin Yeah. Oh, they

Rick:

don't want someone

Sage:

actually happened. Did it?

Rick:

I bet you this law was based on that. The the idea of that happening, and then they just like, fuck it. Just leave it on. Now. He

Genesis:

didn't put a key on a kite. No. I'm gonna need some fact checks on that one. Don't ruin my history. Sage.

Rick:

Nope. No history for you, buddy.

Sage:

I got a good one for you.

Genesis:

For who? Me or Rick, for both of

Sage:

you involved? And apparently, this is something that they actually enforce. So Alaska, is illegal to be drunk in a bar. Period. Yeah, per state law. A person who was already drunk may not knowingly enter a bar to drink or remain in a bar that got them drunk in the first place.

Genesis:

So you're supposed to get drunk and leave, apparently. But where's the fun in that just Well, I guess that you'd like you go there fulfill your duty of getting drunk and then you go home. And then that cuts out the responsibility of the bartender. Right.

Sage:

But then you can't pregame

Genesis:

Yeah, no. Pregame and I bet in Alaska, you're not trying to do much traveling anyways, though.

Sage:

I mean, some parts of Alaska are like super nice, I believe.

Genesis:

For what one month of the year? Probably were no what is it? Like? Three days or three months of the year? It's sunny, and then the rest of the year? It's all like there's no sunlight, right.

Rick:

But It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Genesis:

Oh, yo, her?

Rick:

Don't? Don't do me like that.

Sage:

Do really Idaho isn't allowed to have an active ban on cannibalism.

Genesis:

I mean, go Idaho. It's pretty good on them.

Sage:

You would think that would be national, that

Genesis:

it's so funny how like, disjointed all the states are considering that like some of these have like laws that are very just common sense. That should be in every state or I mean, I guess like those are probably also at a federal law or federal level, for the most part. Now, how does that Rick like work, Rick, with federal laws versus state laws? Because like the the federal government can go into combat with the state. Right when it comes to laws like that, because isn't that what we'd went through when it was becoming legalized and only a state level? Or maybe even still is but

Rick:

yeah, well Most of the time, the federal government will leave essentially all of the laws to on a state by state basis. Right. But then when there's something that's a state law that has, you know, the potential to impact our entire culture, like our entire society, then the federal government will step in. Right. That's why you see people, right, but that's why you see abortion becoming illegal in so many states, because it I mean, abortion really only affects the one person that is trying to get in, even though it impacts all women. It still, you know, it's still not quite up to the federal level. Right? So federal level stuff, it's usually you know, the basics, right? Their body their choice, right, not to mention it becomes federal, like a crime becomes federal, if it leaves state lines, like if you kill someone in Illinois and leave the state.

Genesis:

Right. Yeah, like I go that, because it just, it just seems easier to blink in it into, you know, the country as a whole.

Rick:

Right. Right. Because, because, and the reason why they do that. And we're kind of one of the only countries that do it. Because California is vastly different from Indiana. Right? We're all United States, but where none, no two states are really alike.

Genesis:

One other country has an embodiment of like states, like the United States says, Is there any other countries out there like that? Like I guess maybe Canada was the province? Is that even the same thing?

Rick:

That's kind of that's kind of the closest to it.

Sage:

I mean, maybe Great Britain, or UK whatever. Yeah.

Rick:

Yeah, but Canada is always kind of been like America's little brother, little sister type thing. You know, they're definitely ahead of us in some things like universal health care shit like that. But for the most part, they you know, they're not too far behind us and a lot of them.

Sage:

Here's one, that if we all should have been arrested for this. So in Galesburg apparently like on site. Now get this in Galesburg, Illinois, which I don't know where to flip Galesburg is lived here my whole life have Nope, never heard that city a day in my life. But they have a law strictly prohibits fancy riding of bicycles on any streets. And they go into detail saying fancy riding means removing hands from the handlebars. or removed from the pedal. Or any acrobatics, shenanigans, or fancy I don't even know what word that is. Yeah, my my try.

Genesis:

Like thinking back at all the stupid shit I did riding a bike as a kid. That law should very much be enforced because there were so many instances where I should have died. got seriously injured.

Rick:

Oh my goodness.

Sage:

How do you know if you're going to be a BMX? Great, though, you gotta you gotta learn.

Genesis:

Just ban the sport. Fuck it.

Rick:

No. Do I just looking at my list here? There are two that popped up. Now I'm off the California list. Okay, I am now on to other states. And I just came across two that are absolute bangers. Okay, okay. The first one is it is illegal in the state of Georgia to eat fried chicken anyway, but then with your hands.

Sage:

I saw that that was gonna be my next one. Oh, and I stand by that I stand by I mean

Rick:

for sure. Ya know if you're eating chicken with a knife and fork fucking I know Guantanamo Bay for sure.

Sage:

I know people that do clean it and it drives me fucking crazy.

Genesis:

But what about like the big old chicken breasts,

Rick:

though? Nah, nah, use your fingers man. Peel that shit off.

Sage:

There the the rule literally say it's fried chicken.

Rick:

Yeah. You're gonna fried chicken fries. Yeah.

Sage:

Yeah, but are you eating fried chicken with a fucking knife and fork even the breasts? I have. Yes. I'm turning you into

Genesis:

drumsticks thighs like every other part of the chicken. You know, that's handheld food right there. I mean, you gotta even eat the breast with my hands. I use my hands with them for the breast. Like a lot of the time.

Rick:

Yeah. Why use my hands breast. I remember going out with

Genesis:

my hand. It's for the breasts.

Rick:

Yeah. I just I was blown past that because it was corn. The reason why

Sage:

So, the reason this law came about was a publicity stunt for some for chicken chain down that somehow paid their way into making this law in 1961. But somebody actually got arrested in 2009 a tourist was arrested for eating for violating the chicken and fork rule.

Rick:

This is why this is why they are they need I'm normally not for the whole abolish the police shit. But you should be a ret you should not have a badge if your walk first of all that you know that this is a law. That's different. Why do you know that? That's the second thing is why are you enforcing you walk in? Clearly as a tourist, you know, he's probably got some Hawaiian shirt on even if

Sage:

he wasn't a tourist. Yeah, but

Rick:

even yet even then, like, who's the who's the officer? They sit in there? That's like, Hmm, this asshole is using a knife and a fork for a chicken. And how much is

Genesis:

it? How much is the bucket of chicken?

Rick:

Right? You have to buy everyone in the restaurant a bucket of chicken

Genesis:

that's how I'd sages restaurant for chicken his chicken restaurant?

Rick:

What's your chicken restaurant? Me? Like? Would it be called?

Sage:

I'm confused on what he's talking about at the moment. It's called

Genesis:

jerks. That's the most I could come up

Sage:

with. That's the most Yeah.

Genesis:

It's it's, you know? It's actually kind of a dope restaurant name. If you think about it.

Sage:

Really? I mean, if you make a jerk chicken,

Rick:

but then imagine people walking in and you'd be like, No, we don't sell jerk chicken here. No.

Genesis:

Well, the owner if you have you met him,

Sage:

right? Well, if I've made a place like that called jerks, people come in. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna get a four piece. Yeah, we only sell burgers. It's those with the name jerks.

Rick:

You remember? You remember? You remember that episode on the league when he had tacos truck. And everybody was like, Can I get some tacos? And he's like, we don't sell Mexican food here. Like why do you keep asking for talking? He's like, what is called tacos truck? No, that's my name. Taco. Is my name.

Genesis:

Stupid. Wonder why I don't watch this show. Yeah,

Rick:

great show.

Genesis:

I never watched it

Rick:

now. Okay, I got one here for you. And it goes to show the level of intelligence for the state of Indiana. Okay, shout out to all by Indiana listeners. I don't think it says and it's not even like, it's not even specified on here that it's against the law. But I think what the law is implying is the value of pi is four, not 3.1415. Like I think I think the law is saying like if you write on a piece of paper that pi is 3.1415 Blah, blah, blah. You're going to fucking prison.

Genesis:

What the fuck you do?

Rick:

It's number 24 on this list, the value

Genesis:

that they celebrate it. April. April, just by month by month.

Sage:

I don't know if it's still alive, but I remember reading it once before I can't find it now anymore. But in Illinois, if I say me and Jen are having a conversation. And Rick, you join the conversation without any of us either of us talking to you first. We can sue you for that and when

Rick:

but all right.

Sage:

Is a stupid law. There's so many stupid laws out here.

Genesis:

There is a head cuz you were talking about the chicken thing actually had a list of of incidents where people were arrested for the weirdest or dumbest things. So I had a couple of those I was going to share with you guys. This one happened at a Taco Bell.

Sage:

Show arrested that lady who got Taco Bell to sell french fries.

Genesis:

What do you mean?

Sage:

Like she went in there drunk causing a scene because she wanted fucking french fries. And it went viral. A month later Taco Bell so it's now selling french fries. Oh

Genesis:

yeah, those those fries wasn't even that good by the way it was still stupid it was stupid but so in Florida a couple an old couple of their run their 50s they began arguing and it turned into food fight where she or he threw a burrito a Taco Bell burrito supreme at the back of her head and she turned around and stabbed him with a four Oh

Sage:

laws of equivalent exchange

Genesis:

so they got they both got arrested for battery on that

Sage:

he got arrested for it was a it was a burrito

Genesis:

battery. Like, what is the Salton better what's the definition of those?

Sage:

damn fine no.

Genesis:

Oh,

Rick:

I think it's not as bad to say I think

Genesis:

like are they weren't the same because that was the assault and battery.

Sage:

I believe they should be doing two different things. I mean, if only we were sitting in front of something that could easily answer this one

Rick:

I got here's a good one while you look that up that you guys might like in the state of Maine Christmas decorations must not go up past January 14.

Genesis:

Ah well I don't agree with that cuz it should be Christmas all your

Rick:

ROM it should be but but it's not. So like if Genesis. Do you have Christmas decorations? Anywhere in your apartment right now. This fucking man has his Christmas tree.

Sage:

Oh, I already knew the answer. What?

Rick:

Is that a Christmas tree? Is that what that is? Is that it's like a random like pile of clothes that's just shaped on

Genesis:

a tower of clothes. That's why I don't have room to put it

Rick:

I don't buy nice,

Genesis:

nice lights on it.

Rick:

You gotta you gotta cause it somewhere. You know? What, don't you live in us? You know call the authorities right now.

Genesis:

And you said this was me and I would be arrested? Yes, yes, you should be arrested where you're at now. Family,

Rick:

I would go there for laps there. They don't need to worry about your crazy neighbors they need to worry about you.

Sage:

So this is crazy. So the main difference between a battery charge and an assault charge is the actual presence of harm and the threat of harm. Someone can only be charged with battery if they have caused real physical harm to someone while a person can be charged with assault if the mere threat of harm is present

Genesis:

like shaking my fist in your direction or something

Sage:

that's the sole I will Yes so

Genesis:

I'll let the characters know that

Sage:

well I guess because you know you can get verbal assault you can get arrested for that so I guess just spewing hate speech or shit like that

Genesis:

but I thought I thought like physical assault would just be assault.

Sage:

Now apparently physical assault is battery so physical assault

Genesis:

is battery and then there's assault which is non physical assault but also not verbal.

Sage:

I guess that people get a chart get charged with both of them because technically you're doing both

Genesis:

you right Yeah, right. Because one led to the other. Yeah, I got before and after you started at assault and you moved into battery. Why is it called battery?

Sage:

I don't know. But it's like Reading Rainbow here the more you're

Genesis:

charged this guy over here in order to go he got a warrant out for his arrest and was forced to turn himself for not returning VHS tape he rented 14 years earlier and

Sage:

I knew it was gonna be something stupid like that. Blockbuster gonna get the money.

Genesis:

Do you know what movie it was?

Sage:

Um, give me a decade

Genesis:

early 2000s

Sage:

early 2000s and didn't return it 14 years later. I feel like Be Kind Rewind will be too on the nose. That will be perfect, though but

Genesis:

I will say I'll give you another hand. This title has everything to do with what we open the show talking about a lot about

Sage:

Okay, so this only gives me Give me two movies. Oh, three movies, three movies. No, because that one came on Monday night so I can't count it. So mine is either I don't know when this came out but I'm just taking guess so is marking marking it? No. Okay, it was in Yeah, that was okay. So yeah, that was 99 Okay, so I will say it's either sawn wood decking Jiang or Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Genesis:

No, dammit. Or

Sage:

was it NASDAQ American corner?

Genesis:

No, no. Do you want to take a stab?

Rick:

Is it so when he says Zack and Miri Make a Porno? You said it sounded very close. It sounds like no, I just I was about to say. So I have two thoughts. But and I don't know when. I don't know when four year old so I don't I have no idea. 40 Year Old Virgin. Dude, Where's My Car? I don't know. I I'm just naming movies. I have no idea. Daddy.

Genesis:

Would you like some sausage? Oh my god. Oh,

Sage:

Freddy Got Fingered up.

Genesis:

He was charged with a class three misdemeanor.

Sage:

Fucking Freddy Got Fingered. Or Freddy Got Fingered? Wouldn't what was he charged

Genesis:

with this? 2016

Sage:

It was a dead media.

Genesis:

VHS is were no longer being produced. It's a class three misdemeanor for it. That's probably like a $5,000 Fine.

Sage:

I will turn around and sue them but like, show me find a VHS player that can play right.

Rick:

That's crazy. They went after this this man for that? Yeah,

Genesis:

Blockbuster. It was black. Like I'd say it was probably some local. Probably some local thing. It doesn't actually say Right. That's probably still open. North Carolina. Oh, it was. Oh wait. No, no, no, it wasn't it. They were just making a joke about blockbuster as well in the article

Sage:

was found Hollywood Video. Maybe on your last haul? Yeah. Family Video. They were like, Man, you ain't you had this movie out for like six months. I'm like, I know. I meant this. Return it he's like, look, give me $15 A call even less.

Genesis:

You can negotiate with them. I remember that.

Rick:

Hey, go. This one. I think you might like sage. In North Carolina. It is illegal to sing off key.

Sage:

That should be illegal everywhere.

Genesis:

But just want to have fun.

Rick:

Yeah, so you're telling me if I'm in my car blessing fucking

Sage:

it should have the caveat to where you know. It's illegal to sing off key when other people can hear

Genesis:

you. That No, but I want you to hear me sing off key

Sage:

Lou. physically hurts. Um, okay.

Genesis:

Is this the same key that Ben Franklin used on his kite? Dude, I swear

Sage:

that's a myth. Looking at 90%

Genesis:

Okay, so as we're getting close to the end of the episode, though, are there what are some things that you guys think should be laws like?

Rick:

Driving No, no, because I mean, it's already kind of I guess a lot. Like drive super slow.

Genesis:

You got to follow the speed limit? Yeah.

Rick:

Oh, I got it. Having speaker phone conversations in public. Like when you're you have someone else speaker. Yeah. And like I agree with that wholeheartedly. Yeah, you can manage to the fullest degree. Yeah. Guantanamo Bay, the whole death penalty. Rights. Yeah, go.

Sage:

Fast and stupid questions.

Rick:

Oh, for sure. Now, that's nice. Because it who determines if what's stupid, you know? Oh,

Sage:

I think we all know. Well, yeah. For instance, somebody we know who is also in it. They got a ticket last night. Not an actual ticket. But one of their clients call them saying, hey, our internet doesn't work because we lost power. Can you help us? Like, you let you lost power? You answered your question in the question. The fuck you want me to

Rick:

do, right? Do you want me to just magically give you power again, or try to think about another one that should be illegal. Like um now this is just this is just for me in my current living situation it should be illegal to throw boxes away without breaking the fucking boxes down now like like you know how no no but when you throw boxes away you don't break the boxes down further it fills the garbage bin up quicker Yeah and like there's there's like five other people in this in this building yeah well there's five other apartments in this building all the people you cogs like it takes two seconds to break the box down do you don't need a box cutter you could just you know use some strength pop it over you look

Genesis:

I didn't realize this was gonna turn into the

Rick:

rest of the episode this is definitely about to turn into pet peeves now because no absolutely not.

Sage:

I don't know like I don't know what I would say things that need to be illegal

Genesis:

I got one it should be illegal to when not all people it should be illegal for how shall I say like commercial audio and other advertisements to get louder than your what you're watching during its duration Have you noticed that so you're

Rick:

saying like if you're if you're watching a show you're watching a TV show and then a commercial comes on and the commercial is not on the same audio level like they boost

Genesis:

the audio so it's like twice as loud to get your attention it's affecting JDS tactic.

Rick:

Okay, I'm going to double down on that and say it should be the same way for any TV show where there's an intro in the intro is fucking 30 Guy Yeah louder than the show.

Sage:

Oh, to be fair I don't watch commercials on that poor

Rick:

Yeah, I don't either but like

Genesis:

I will ads and then as well but like live TV ever watch live TV of fucking football game ever watch that. Yes,

Sage:

you do don't be paying attention

Genesis:

well that's they're trying to get your attention when they do that shit.

Sage:

I'm not saying I don't need see another commercial for Cialis

Rick:

that's fine.

Genesis:

I can write up like again

Sage:

Jays case Bucha There you go. If you don't by stacking Bucha

Rick:

really, really needs to? Or like just be the spokesperson. You know?

Sage:

Whatever by

Rick:

not? Could you imagine Jays face popping up on your TV? Like what did he tell you a little bit about Blue Chu? Do you want to take six blue Chu? And go to town on your lady for 12 hours?

Sage:

No, it should be illegal to come out with half finished fucking games purposely.

Genesis:

All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sage:

Having day one DLC, you need to be shot in the face.

Rick:

Oh, I got another one for you. It should be illegal to wear shorts. In weather lower or in temperatures lower than 60 degrees. Why? Because Go fuck yourself. Nobody. Nobody cares that you've got a high body tolerance or you've got because irritates

Sage:

me. It's attacking all of our whitelist

Rick:

like, it makes me sick to see these cocksuckers walk around. It is. No not because I'm jealous, because they need to be miserable like the rest of us.

Sage:

But on the flip side, I can't say that because on the flip side today, it was 100 degrees today. Yeah. And I had on the jacket the entire year of

Genesis:

mania. Yeah, if you're gonna go one way, you got to go

Rick:

the other way as well. No or so. So what you're saying is when it's over 100 We all just need to be naked. Yeah, go back. Look around

Genesis:

the elliptic area.

Rick:

Oh my goodness.

Sage:

Look, follow. That just made me this needs to be a law everywhere. If you've ever been to any type of convention, you feel this deep in your soul. It should be illegal to go to convention and not wear deodorant.

Rick:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or you shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere in any enclosed space like tight spaces without like some sort of DOD or like an older check and they have some Want to do?

Sage:

Like have you ever been to like a comic con or anime con or something like that? And the room that everybody's in is a couple 1000 square feet. Like it's a big dumb ass room. But the second you cross that plane, you just hit with a funk wall. I'm like, How is it this many people that just said fuck it today?

Rick:

You said a phone call. That's funny.

Sage:

You know, you know, it's rough.

Rick:

Oh, I know. I got one. It should be illegal. And this is this is attacking the ladies because I don't see guys doing this. I'm sorry. It should be illegal for for ladies to post pictures and use captions that they do not live their life by like, like the caption, let's say some some philosophical thing. And it's like, I just saw you talking two days ago. We're gonna talk a little more dynamic

Genesis:

creatures. You can talk one day.

Rick:

Ladies, ladies. Please don't stop. Please don't. Yeah, that's right. Let me just say that. I'm not saying Ladies to stop talking. Please keep working. Okay,

Genesis:

but just not being philosophical.

Rick:

Yeah. You know, like don't don't no, oh, no, I Okay. Scratch that. duck face. No more dark face.

Sage:

Is that festival thing? It's

Rick:

kind of still at that. You still seem like a natural thing. Is it though? I think so. Naturally. He doesn't have to remember face. You got a rubber face? Yeah, come

Genesis:

toward it to a thumb. High, right?

Rick:

You kind of look like talking dumb.

Genesis:

If I had no facial hair, that would be true. No see. But that's the

Rick:

thing though. The lameness is so strong. Having

Sage:

that that should be if you've been trying to grow facial hair for two years, and that shit still don't connect. shave it off.

Rick:

If your face looks like someone just threw pubes at it, and just let it go.

Sage:

Let it go. Same goes for the motherfucking with the with the comb overs. Just make a decision. All

Rick:

right, let it go. Let it go. When when I eventually started losing my hair, I'm just cutting it all off.

Genesis:

But what about what about if you get like the bowl in like the bowl balding, you know where you have like just the sides? Should they then have to also

Sage:

make a decision either pay to get the actual you know, to fake hair going on? Or shave it all off? There is no in between?

Rick:

Yeah, go get some clothes or something and just you know, or taken along. Because there's so many people that we see walking around with that bald head wishes on the side, the George Costanza type here. And like, I know nobody told you that that looked good. There's not a single person that tells you you look, just lets you

Genesis:

pay technology has to have like, had a major come up because it's not like a joke in sitcoms anymore to like,

Sage:

well, it's not to paises actually, like hair restoration is a real thing. And it's not it's not as cheesy and cheap as it was like in the 90s and she did it looks really good. Natural now.

Rick:

Yeah, they can make it look like like they actually can make your real hair growing.

Sage:

I'm 100% going to do this when I start to go wrong because my head's too big. I would not look right ball. And I'm not I'm not about to run around with the fucking spots. I'm like

Rick:

I don't have the head shape to be bald, but I also I don't have

Genesis:

I don't want to Photoshop multiwalled now to see what it looks like. Just to see for science. I have zero bald people in my family so like I am living full head of hair.

Sage:

That's a lie. It's not a lie. Your brother's bald sir.

Genesis:

Oh yeah, but he's not bald for genetic reasons. He's

Rick:

bald by choice like he into he cuts Oh no, he

Genesis:

lost his hair because he fucking did. He died in a lot always wore hats and fucking didn't take care of it.

Sage:

You know your hair jeans come from your mom. So if you have any balls off, good point.

Rick:

Well, then, you know I'm good then because my my mom's side of the families. I mean, they're all some hairy people. That's right. Yeah, I mean, it looks Auntie Tony if you're listening to this Yeah, I mean, you gotta let him know you're thinking about him. You know? Yeah, no

Genesis:

no, no, I was gonna ask them but I'm going to take that one offline.

Rick:

You weren't about Nevermind, nevermind.

Sage:

I can just imagine where he's gonna

Rick:

continue to. I don't want to know what you're about as we only want to hear it offline.

Genesis:

That was mostly to save you guys from getting in any kind of trouble with with women.

Rick:

Who am I going to trouble with?

Sage:

Now I'm confused. Go ahead and ask questions. Now. Yeah,

Rick:

now you got to ask.

Genesis:

Well, I was gonna ask about women shaving their legs and armpits.

Rick:

Oh, Jesus, man.

Genesis:

Here's me. Here's a water.

Rick:

Yeah

Sage:

I can't I can't be a chick who has more armpit hair than I do.

Rick:

I'm,

Sage:

I'm not a hairy individual. So

Rick:

see, I don't care to be honest with you. Like I now, hair down there. That's a different story. But like, legs and arms. I don't give a shit. Armpits or armpits yet? No, I don't I don't care. Like I don't care. I've never looked at a chick. I thought she was attractive. And then she raised her arms and saw that forest who'd like now

Sage:

100% would tell me you're going you're out. You meet some girl who you think is hot. You're looking at it from afar. And then when you get closer, you see she's wearing like a little a little halter top assumption. And her her arms are down. But you can see that that little fro peeking out. You wouldn't be like nah, nah,

Rick:

no, no, as long as when I walk up to her and as long as she doesn't look like fucking asthma. I don't I don't give a fuck. You know?

Genesis:

Like Like, do you shave your

Rick:

armpits? No, I do not shave mark.

Genesis:

I feel like you'd be something that would know what Yeah, cuz you would think it's like gross.

Rick:

No, no, no, I don't know do I really don't care? I mean, man I

Sage:

keep it above I tried it once never again.

Rick:

No No yeah, definitely tried it. Like I want to say junior high school or something like that. And it's to all hell for like a week straight like new never again now

Sage:

it's all Raschi and shit like

Rick:

yeah, you're like it's worth talking. Yeah

Genesis:

you didn't you didn't use the Nair they got the special products

Rick:

that's your burn it those

Genesis:

of us there yeah he's near on your no no area

Rick:

or that what is this up PVS podcast no no Eric is the worst that's the absolute worst I wish we did some beds.

Genesis:

I know I want to do like a fucking waxing but with a waxing.

Rick:

Well first of all first of all that's not

Genesis:

because we got to like loosen you got to wax your chest or something

Rick:

No, that's not happening I would rather than do something like like if I lost and I'd have to you know sack tap someone randomly outside or something like that. I would rather do that than wax

Genesis:

that's battery sir.

Sage:

You possibly get to ask me

Rick:

why I wouldn't get my ass beat but I would definitely I would i i wouldn't get my SP because I'd be running first of all let me let me make that clear. Not that I would defend myself. Then I will be running fast as all hell. Oh,

Sage:

just a run backs that.

Rick:

Yeah, just Yeah. grocery bills. You know just

Genesis:

Grove Street Mall battery somebody

Rick:

or I can say scrubs got they they just Yeah.

Genesis:

If anybody out there has any fun beds for us to try life challenges. I would like to do a live challenge. Again, we did that. I did that against him back in the day. You remember that stage?

Sage:

Yeah. When you Yeah. The fucking Dave's insanity soft shit. I mean, our days. It was amazing.

Genesis:

The Beatles when we

Sage:

were researching spaces in your mouth, you can hold them like Yeah, well,

Genesis:

yeah, I wanted to win. I didn't but I swear he cheated.

Sage:

Like I won, because I do And just

Genesis:

I challenged him to a series of life challenges. So one was the B Dubs hot wing challenge. Then it was like a game of chess. Then it was like a game of seen it.

Sage:

And then you you were cheating a little motherfucker. And you finally admit that you've memorized the fucking question. No. Shit.

Genesis:

I come on. I would tell you the truth. No, he wouldn't. One I don't cheat. And two.

Sage:

You do both of those. This man we're playing seen it in mind. We've played this game four or five times before? Either I've won or Tim's won. This this time we play it this time. He's answering the question before the question is even fucking finished acts.

Genesis:

He's won. I won all the time.

Sage:

No, you didn't.

Genesis:

I didn't win every single time but I didn't win Never. Not when

Rick:

he didn't win one. I smell like so my gene was in my life. One of the

Genesis:

that's the that's yet the lip. Whoa, whoa, what

Rick:

the line part? I don't know. Oh, my goodness. Wait a minute. You tell more. Somebody's over live. The you know, let it go.

Sage:

We need to do a live community podcast but make teams and play cranium. Yeah.

Genesis:

I tried to find it on the table tab similar. It's not really on there.

Sage:

Well, you know, it's If only we knew somebody who makes games. Hmm.

Genesis:

I'll be I'll get right on that.

Sage:

Is there I mean have played your game you ain't doing enough.

Genesis:

All right. And with that, thank you everybody. Episode David exchanged by gags Is there anything about laws? You guys want to talk before we wrap up this episode?

Sage:

The law of Equivalent Exchange?

Genesis:

Explain.

Sage:

So, Full Metal Alchemist. If you've seen it, then Okay.

Genesis:

Sounds like I've heard I pretty much

Rick:

Yeah. And it's not like that.

Genesis:

You know, like I'm I'm fascinated by

Rick:

let you not own people. That's,

Genesis:

that's a good law.

Rick:

No, no, I'm saying you're fascinated. Because you want to abolish it.

Genesis:

Alright. train track.

Rick:

Or let me guess the law that you want to take back is making Juneteenth a federal holiday.

Genesis:

Well, we'll see you next week for a brand new topic and episode of The Haven exchange podcast with one less host.

Rick:

Right? Because Are you saying you're not going to be on the show anymore? Because you are arrested for restarting Auschwitz,

Genesis:

or you're fired? whichever happens first.

Sage:

Restarting. Oh, also, you gotta pour one out today. For all you nerds out there. You're gonna wake up tomorrow. And Internet Explorer will no longer be a thing. Hello?

Genesis:

Oh, is that true? Yeah. Is it cuz edge is taken over? Yeah, Microsoft

Sage:

is getting rid of it completely. They're forcing it off of everybody's system. Nice.

Rick:

I mean, all right for you if you haven't moved on to Chrome or

Sage:

you'd be surprised how many companies have not moved on

Rick:

you know how many accounts I go to where niggas will still have Windows XP. Like bro that shit was like 50 years ago man let it go. Go

Genesis:

All right, well, we're still waiting on the it takes to live stream which never happened. Never.

Rick:

Me. Yeah, well, I'm still waiting on you to finish part two of your biography. So I mean, like why keep waiting MINECO

Genesis:

I walked right into that one.

Sage:

You actually got me with him. I was like, what

Genesis:

is it under the floorboards like

Rick:

oh, like someone with the initial man, Jesus Can't keep calling them. This is the Haven exchange