Death to Life podcast
A podcast that tells the stories of people that used to be one way, and now are completely different, and the thing that happened in between was Jesus.
Death to Life podcast
#179 From Struggles to Miracles: Ginger's Journey of Faith and Resilience
Ginger’s awe-inspiring tale of faith and resilience is nothing short of miraculous. Raised in a Seventh-day Adventist family and traveling from Singapore to Massachusetts, Kentucky, and Virginia, Ginger navigated the complexities of a life filled with contrasts. She opens up about her family’s public religious persona versus their private dynamics, her early struggles with mental health, and the pivotal moments that shaped her spirituality. From a reluctant baptism to a genuine spiritual awakening in high school, Ginger's journey through depression and her search for psychological support are shared with raw honesty.
Ginger's career path took many turns, including a move to Oahu for graduate school and specializing in speech language pathology. She narrates the pressures she faced from her family, the trials of online dating, and the liberating choice to live authentically. Her battles with undiagnosed ADD and bipolar disorder highlight the crucial role of accurate medical diagnosis and the transformative impact of proper treatment. The episode underscores the importance of mental health support and the strength she found through unwavering faith.
Perhaps the most compelling part of Ginger’s story is her testament to the power of faith amidst adversity. Facing wrongful accusations and incarceration, Ginger relied on divine intervention and prayer for solace and guidance. Her release and eventual relocation to Wyoming are filled with profound personal growth and miracles. From applying for disability benefits to dealing with seasonal mania, Ginger's narrative is a powerful reminder of the strength found in God’s love, the importance of community, and the healing power of embracing one’s spiritual identity. Join us for an episode brimming with hope, healing, and the palpable presence of faith.
0:00 - Transformation Through Faith Testimonies
15:12 - Career Change and Family Pressures
23:43 - Navigating Mental Health Challenges
42:30 - Miraculous Journey of Faith
49:05 - Navigating Disability Benefits and Faith
1:02:50 - Seasonal Mania and God's Protection
1:07:31 - Healing Through Faith Conversations
1:25:44 - Rediscovering Faith Through Testimonies
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The world doesn't think that the gospel can change your life, but we know that it can and that's why we want you to hear these stories, stories of transformation, stories of freedom, people getting free from sin and healed from sin because of Jesus. This is Death to Life.
Speaker 2:I go to the door, it's a police officer and he arrests me and I'm like what? I don't know why. What's going on? He wasn't telling me why and he was really forceful about wanting to get me in the car. And I'm like wait. And then he's like are you resisting arrest? And I'm like no, I'm like if I go anywhere, I have to take my medication with me. And he's like, well, you're just going to go, we're just going to go downtown. So we go, and it's full on jail. I'm like terrified, I don't know why I'm there.
Speaker 1:Yo, welcome to the Death to Life podcast. My name is Richard Young and today's guest. Today's episode is with Ginger. Ginger is one of the sweetest people I've ever met, ever since I met her back in Colorado. I've just seen God working in her life. I see Colorado. I've just seen God working in her life. I see just a thirst for righteousness and a love for the gospel. And she has had a crazy story, some low lows and some high highs, and she is going to tell us what has happened and how she has seen Jesus and what he has done for her, and how she has seen Jesus and what he has done for her. So there is some tough stuff in this episode, be aware, a lot of stuff about mental health. But buckle up, strap in. This is Ginger. Love y'all.
Speaker 2:Appreciate y'all, appreciate y'all. So let's start out with living in Massachusetts. I was in fourth grade and we had just moved there from Singapore, so it was quite a difference.
Speaker 1:Wait, hold on. You just jumped to Massachusetts and you skipped over living in Singapore. Why did you live in Singapore? You don't have to give me all the details, but living in Singapore, I mean. What's that about?
Speaker 2:Okay, so I was raised Seventh-day Adventist and, born in Texas, moved to Maryland and then my dad got a call as a missionary to move to Singapore. Okay. I was there for first grade, second grade and third grade and then moving to Massachusetts.
Speaker 1:What language did they speak in Singapore?
Speaker 2:They speak Mandarin, but everything's in English, since it's a British colony.
Speaker 1:So you didn't learn any Mandarin? No, not at all.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right. So are your first memories in Singapore or your first memory somewhere else?
Speaker 1:First, memories are in Maryland. I moved there when I was four. Okay, all right, so you're in Massachusetts you're in the fourth grade.
Speaker 2:What happens so mainly what happens is growing up with the Seventh-day Adventist family. I saw one thing in the family at home and another thing going to church. So my big thing growing up was just like seeing what was around and saying that's not it. Looking for, looking for God and what that was supposed to look like, but just seeing things that weren't it. So I always knew that God loved me and I always knew that God was good. So no matter what I witnessed, even though I couldn't see it or find it, I knew that for sure.
Speaker 1:What was some of the stuff? That wasn't it that you were seeing that you're like that can't be it.
Speaker 2:The fighting pretty um and intense between my parents and that passed on to siblings and things like that and I just knew that's not it, that's not, that's not god, that's not how we're supposed to be raised, that's not love all right, fair enough.
Speaker 1:What else were you seeing?
Speaker 2:the neighborhood and be like they're just like me and there's no difference. And why is there this inside, outside? Um, oh, that's a non-adventist, and things like that. And so from an early age I I knew that God was for everyone. So, um, so yeah, moving on, uh, uh, my parents moved around a lot and then finally I got to go to boarding school and stick stick in one place and I went to shenandoah valley academy new market virginia new market, virginia, and so I stayed there for all four years and graduated and then went to the Pacific Northwest, to Pacific Union College.
Speaker 1:Before we get to college. Sorry for interrupting you Through this time in academy. Who was God to you Like? Who was he in your mind?
Speaker 2:So when I got baptized the first time it was scheduled, my father said there's an opening and this is back. I didn't mention it. But after Massachusetts was Kentucky. So in eighth grade I'm in Kentucky and my dad's a pastor and he wants to get me baptized because he's afraid that if I don't do it then it's never going to happen. So it wasn't my choice and I was pretty, uh, I was pretty upset about it, and so when it did happen, I wasn't happy. Everybody lined up to shake your hand and give you a hug and I just I wasn't happy at all. So when I was in boarding school I did get to the point where I really wanted to get baptized and people just weren't doing that then. So I just kept on keeping on and didn't get rebaptized, although God was, in my life, pretty scary.
Speaker 2:At Shenandoah Valley Academy I got involved with a, a guy that was into oh, like Ouija boards, but he was involved in crime and things like that, and so I was always praying and uh, seemingly um, praying for him and getting out of trouble and things like that. So, um, and then I became really depressed in high school. So, um, from an early age they had the guidance counselor come and talk to me and then he realized that I needed to go to a real psychologist. So first time in therapy was when I was 15 years old, in boarding school, and that was a really good, really good experience, really good support and kind of having that for the first time. So that was God in boarding school. He was protecting me from all of this weird satanic stuff.
Speaker 1:Wow, how did he feel about you.
Speaker 2:He always loved me. I knew that for sure, I knew he was good, I knew he loved me and um, and I knew that everybody was in. But I wasn't taught that, but I just knew it. I knew everybody was in and there was. Just there wasn't this difference between the people you know that are really sheltered, and then the outside world, because, um, I didn't see a God like that, that would exclude anybody. So from a young age that's that's what I believed and that's just not what you're taught and I would be like that's not it. That's not it.
Speaker 1:All right, so you went to Northern California, right? What's the town that Pacific Union College is, angwin, california.
Speaker 2:That's right what was your major, california, that's right.
Speaker 2:So major. I didn't have a major at first, but then I went into speech language pathology and I loved it. I loved it. Um, I didn't know about anything else. I knew what I didn't want to be. I didn't know anything about speech pathology but got into it and loved it and for my the first time did good in school because, um, because severe ADD the inattentive type, the girl who's really quiet, daydreaming, nobody really catches on to like an attention deficit disorder, because I'm not hyperactive, I'm not running around the room, and so that kind of went under the radar and so I did poorly in all my classes and, um, my parents weren't even sure college was going to be for me. But I took those speech pathology classes and I loved it and then I was getting straight A's. I decided to go to Spain for a year abroad and um segundo segundo what time is that?
Speaker 1:in valencia, or valencia, I don't know how you would say it in spain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, yeah. So, and that was a crazy year, um, but I'm just wanting, I'm I'm excited about getting to the life part.
Speaker 1:Hold on. What year was that? When you were in Spain? Do you remember?
Speaker 2:1999., 1999.
Speaker 1:Y2K, you're in Europe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, y2k, I'm in Europe and everything's going to shut down, but it's all about Prince in 1999. Yeah, so I finished my degree at Loma Linda University and there's something called subsidy when your parents work for the church and can't afford the church schools, so your tuition is 75% off and so I was getting that. And then I wanted to get ribbon boards so I should back up. I was very rebellious. I wasn't a good kid in in boarding school. I was always sneaking out of the, always sneaking out of the dorm. I was jumping out of the second story window. I was covering my tracks in the snow so they wouldn't see like steps, like coming from the window, and just never got caught because I didn't tell anybody. That's the secret about not getting caught you just don't tell anybody.
Speaker 1:What were you going?
Speaker 2:I was going to my boyfriend's house.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, he was the son of my English teacher and yeah, I was going over there and he was the bad influence in the whole evil satanic stuff. He was involved in some crime also and that was going on and I was getting questioned Did I know about such and such? And I just, you know, I just kept quiet, kept my head to the ground, um, but yeah, very rebellious because, remember, I'm looking around and I'm like that's not it, that's not it, that's all I knew. So in Spain, wild and crazy, um moved to Loma Linda, kind of settled down and then lost my subsidy.
Speaker 1:So I'm like man if I Because you were in school too long.
Speaker 2:No, because it's only covered for undergrad.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's right, I was under the Kentucky-Tennessee Conference and they didn't happen to cover grad school. So I'm like, okay, like okay, I gotta go somewhere. And then I'm like, well man, I'm like if I have to go anywhere, I'm gonna go to hawaii. So I'm like I'll put my homework in the sheet, protect, protect, go to the beach study. That never happened.
Speaker 2:But I moved to Maui first to get my residency. So I worked as a nanny for the hotels and the resorts and lots of famous people. But I love kids. I've always been a caretaker and started out as a babysitter and then I actually worked as a nanny in Napa Valley as well, for a family who owned a vineyard and just that was always. My job was being a babysitter and I love, I love kids. So that never felt like work at all. And so, moving on to Maui and being a babysitter, that that was just right along, my my thing and so had a lot of fun with that. I was a Mick Fleetwood's nanny, actually with Fleetwood Mac, and I got, I went over there and I couldn't figure out why the parents weren't leaving. I'm like you guys are paying me, you know, leave, you're going to leave, yet parents weren't leaving. I'm like you guys are paying me. You know leave. You're going to leave yet, but you're just part of the entourage. You're there, you're supposed to take care of the babies, and then everybody else is there too.
Speaker 1:So is he the one who was in love with Stevie Nicks, or is he?
Speaker 2:Others were like was the drummer?
Speaker 1:he's the drummer and he lived in the Napa Valley and you were nannying his kids. I'm sorry, he lived on Maui oh, he lived on Maui and you were nannying his kids yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was working for the resort, the resorts and then they're like hey, we have this job. I wasn't from. I wasn't like a hippie, very hippie, like getting jobs and getting turned down. So I was the one who was college educated and they gave me the good jobs. So I got recommended for that and then I was just 12 hours a day just over there, driving for 45 minutes one way, but on the drive there you see whales, they're jumping out of the water and so it's a pretty good gig. And they actually asked me to stay with them and go on their final tour. But I was like that sounds like a nightmare. They want to bring those babies backstage, you know, in all different time zones. I don't think that's a good idea. So I have my residency and I moved to Oahu to to get my mask.
Speaker 1:Hold on, you're just like. I guess. I'm just not going to go on tour with Fleetwood Mac because the baby's being backstage. That's going to be OK. It's probably smart mercy.
Speaker 2:What a opportunity, I guess I mean, I guess it's just that I mean they wanted those babies backstage and we would probably be on the side and trying to, you know, be backstage every single time, and it sounded like a nightmare because all of the different time zones. So, yeah, I grew, yeah, and I met stevie and she was a bit weird stevie nicks yeah yeah, you met her in person.
Speaker 1:Like did she sing landslide for you, was she?
Speaker 2:no, but I was into singing karaoke and I sing some of her songs. So I had my residency and I was ready to go to grad school, move to Oahu, got a master's in speech language pathology and no jobs really on the island and no, really a good way off the island. You have to like afford to be able to get your car back and all your stuff and kind of stuck there. So a friend of mine and I took like a very um well, they couldn't get anybody to take this position. It was in central California and Visalia and it wasn't like the cool place to go. It was all farming and they couldn't keep anybody. So they were offering a huge sign on bonus and moving allowance.
Speaker 2:So we lived at the Marriott for like a month while we looked for places to live and we spent up the moving allowance and worked there for a year and then peaced out like after we got our contract over with and I was doing so many different things for speech pathology that I just wanted to hone in on one thing, because I was working in outpatient, I was working in rehab, I was working in acute care, nicu, all the way to nursing home and I'm like man, I don't know who's going to walk in the door for an eval. I don't know if it's going to be a three-year-old with autism or, or, you know, an older person with dementia. So I was not about that and I wanted to specialize and just focus on one thing. So there was a program in Denver focusing on voice and I was really into Parkinson's disease and I was passionate about that population and helping them.
Speaker 1:So I moved to Denver and when is God in all of this? At this point? Now, you're a few years out of college.
Speaker 2:He's just, he's just on the side I, I, I'm not, I'm not talking to him, I'm not praying, I'm just living my life and knowing that he loves me, but not putting any thought into it at all. And actually actually to the point where I treated online dating like a career. I was, I was on a date or two, three, on the weekend, every day, and my roommates were like you're just doing that for free food. I'm like nah, man, like I pay my half and this is just like research for me. Of course it wasn't, but I was involved in that and practicing and extracurricular activities and just kind of wild. I was working and all the girls would wait for me to get to work and they'd be smoking and they're just waiting. They're just waiting for me to get there because they want to hear the story the night before of the date. So yeah, so I did that and it was. It got to be excessive, excessive.
Speaker 2:Um, when I told my parents that I was going to move to Maui, I hated in school that you had to lie because I would go out on the dorm. I would do this, I would do that. But if you told them, you're in big trouble and I hated lying. So I was like, when I graduate, I'm never lying again. So I talked to my dad and I'm like, hey, um, I smoke, I drink, haven't been aversion for quite a while and I'm going to move to Maui with my boyfriend. So he, yeah, he had a. He had a weird response, but I didn't hear from him for a few years and but I was free and I never lied about anything, ever again. And so I was free to just tell the truth and not get in trouble for it and not get in trouble for it.
Speaker 2:So back to online dating. God wasn't there at all. I didn't think I needed him. I didn't think I needed him. All the while, family really pressing Ellen White for me to read it and follow it, and I'm like I really don't know who it is. She was hit in the head. I think she had a head injury, I really don't know. And so these readings, the Seventh-day Adventist readings by a prophet of the Seventh-day Adventist church, I just wasn't into it. It was really pressed on me and I'm like, you know, I haven't even read the Bible yet and it's because they knew about the extracurricular activities and they were afraid. They were afraid for my soul, but I'm not thinking about it at all. So that's going on and, um, I've moved to Denver. I'm still doing all of that. I think I was online dating in 2005. That was like matchcom had just come out, and so just years and years of that, and that actually was explained later on.
Speaker 2:So, um, I'm a speech pathologist, I'm loving it, and my family is giving me grief about going to nursing school and I'm, like you guys know, I have a, I have a master's degree, right, like you guys know, this is what I do and I love it. They're like, yeah, but if you go to nursing school and become a nurse, anesthetist, like, you'll make so much more money. And I just I couldn't believe they were saying that, um, so I just kept denying it, denying it, but finally I was brainwashed by it. They just didn't seem to think that my career was worth anything. They didn't understand it, and so I was like, okay, if I get in, I'll go, knowing it was really um, competitive. But I ended up getting in and I get into an accelerated 18 month bachelor of science. So, super quick, super fast.
Speaker 2:And I'm in the back playing Pac-Man, sort of listening to the lecture, never able to take notes. I get depressed and I'm like man, I'm just going to go get some help. Like this is I'm over this. Like I just got depressed out of nowhere, for no reason, nothing happened. So I go, they accept me. They're like well, it sounds like you might need some medication. And we actually have a program where the psychiatry residents give their own therapy and they're also prescribers. I'm like, yeah, get me into that. So I joined that.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing a psychiatry resident. She diagnoses me with ADD and I'm like man, I wish I had known this before. So the medication changed my life and I was going to school with all the different color markers and pens and I'm taking notes and everybody around me was like what's going on with Ginger? And so I'm like, hey, guys, like I'm ADD. And they're like well, we could have told you that. And I was so devastated. Actually I was like you know, this is this really affects my life? I wish I had known that. And then I was like you know, compared to what it was like before and getting a master's degree with severe attention deficit disorder, I was like this is easy. Is this how other people have it? Like life was just so hard before and she realizes after I graduate I'm going to be left with nobody and it becomes really evident to her that I need that support.
Speaker 2:So she recommends some of her professors and she was in a psychoanalysis program. That's a program that's five years beyond medical school, beyond psychiatry residency. It's Freudian analysis analysis. So it's analysis. And she has like 10 people on this list she wants me to choose from and I'm like please, narrow it down. So she narrows it down to two and I'm like, okay, tell me about them. And she starts off with this guy and she just pauses and laughs and she's like this guy is really funny and I'm like that guy, I want the funny guy. So she called and call and called like 10 times. Finally he answered he didn't accept insurance but because she kept calling, he made a. He made an exception for me and I would have to say this was a huge pivot in my life. It changed my life forever. Um, this psychiatrist would play a role in the rest of everything that was to come.
Speaker 2:I started seeing him and he realized before I even was showing obvious symptoms. He recognized that I had bipolar disorder and he didn't tell me he. Uh, he said I've noticed you're emotional a lot. I'm like, oh, that doesn't sound good. He's like I want to give you something to help with that. I just went to fill it, I put it in my medication box and I just took it because I trusted him. We had rapport. I trusted him. I didn't like the idea of taking a medication and what, what in the world was wrong with me and so, um, I just started taking it and I looked up what it was for and I I printed out like 20 research articles, read all of them and then I just I just went into denial Like I knew had this disorder and then I completely forgot. That's what actually technical, real denial is is when you deny even the existence of something and you're not even aware of it.
Speaker 1:What was the medication for? You said that you read the research on the medication. What was it for? Bipolar disorder. And so now you're in denial, like the doctor's, like you probably have bipolar, and you didn't want to believe him.
Speaker 2:He didn't tell me. He just started me on the meds and I just took them.
Speaker 1:And then when you read that, were you shook by that or were you like I was super shook and then I went into denial that I even had it.
Speaker 2:So I'm going along thinking like everything's normal, just taking the medication. And before this I'm like you know, I've been in therapy since 14 years old and I'm kind of like professional at this, you know told him everything and I was like don't worry, because I cry during every single session. He's like everyone. I'm like, yeah, every single session I've ever had I cry. And I was like, so it's no big deal, don't worry about it. And so six months later after he started, like, yes, am I going to have to take medication for the rest of my life? Yes, well, if I'm going to have this, I want to be the expert on it. Are you going to teach me everything? You know, even medication? Yes, because he taught psychopharmacology at the psychiatry residence and he promised me he was going to teach me about every med that I took. So then I went on and I advocated for myself. I didn't feel embarrassed, I didn't feel like anything was wrong with me. Um, because the medication fixed everything and I had zero symptoms. I was just me, except for I never cried in a session again. I never realized that, but I had stopped crying and I had stopped having sex with everyone and I learned that there's three symptoms and uh of when you're getting sick, and one is you don't sleep. Two is you shop and spend money, and three is sex hypersexual. And so with the medication, dude, it disappeared. I just stopped Like nothing else happened but the medication. And so once I started it and I was stable, I met who I was for the first time. I'm like I'm not that wild and crazy person. I'm not the one who always has to make the jokes to make everybody laugh, like I'm actually like pretty normal and, um, because it fixed everything that was wrong, and so to me it was a miracle and life changed after that. So he continued to be my doctor. I was working three or four jobs. I said God, I just want a full-time job with insurance, because I was having to pay a lot of money for medications. I was super stable for five years. I worked 10 hour shifts at the hospital. I got that. I didn't say where I wanted the job, but God sent me to Grand Junction, colorado, and, um, I was super high functioning, working 10 hour shifts and also leading out in support groups for mental illness and being the facilitator for that and also took classes in learning how to share my testimony of having a mental illness, and so I had this is. This doesn't sound like it's on topic or even important, but this changed everything.
Speaker 2:I decided to adopt a dog and I wanted a pit bull, because all of the pit bulls in Denver were being euthanized, and so, since I lived in Grand Junction, I really wanted to adopt a pit bull, and I found one online that was 12 and a half years old. It had been taken back for like eight times. Eight families didn't want him, and I was like that's it, that's my dog. So, um, and I'm stable all this time. So I get this dog and, um, my landlord ends up being afraid of him, and one day I come home and there's this letter that says get rid of the dog or move out in two weeks. So I had no choice. So I had to give him back to the shelter that I had gotten him from, and I had to drive to Denver and he was actually put in a? Um, like a dog shelter, um, and I had to leave him there.
Speaker 2:And then what happened after that? I I never would have known that it was possible, but my medications were working perfectly, I'm doing really great, and all of a sudden they stopped working and I have what's called breakthrough symptoms. So everything that was kept under control, everything that was giving me that normalcy in life, just stopped and I became super unstable. Became super unstable and so I'm crying all the time. During my lunch break, I'm going to my car, I'm crying At work, I'm going into the bathrooms and crying, and it's what's called an acute traumatic stress event. I don't have post-traumatic stress over it. It was just something that happened then, similar to what some people go through if they have a family member die or something like that, or they witness a murder. I just had a huge, crazy response to it. So I did whatever it took.
Speaker 2:I quit my job, I was going to move to Denver and get my dog back, and I did end up getting him back, but in between the time of moving down there and getting him back, I completely lost function of everything, to the point where I couldn't even think. I remember walking to the door, walking over the threshold, stopping and being like I don't know what to do with myself. My thoughts were just blank and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't start, I couldn't step. And then I remembered I knew how to take a shower and so that's what I would do. And, um, that was when I was trying to get him back.
Speaker 2:And once I got him back, I I became better, but I no longer was able to work. I in being a facilitator for mental illness lots of people with bipolar disorder in the groups, and not one of them worked, and I was like that's never going to happen to me. That's never going to happen. Like I'm going to work, I'm, that's never going to happen. So when it did, I was devastated. So at that point I stopped being able to work and that was October 15, 2015.
Speaker 2:And my money started to run out, so I wasn't able to work, moved in with my sister, but I had my dog and it was super bad living with my sister. So my dad came up to get me, to move me into his home and that was supposed to rescue me from this bad situation. And I did say a prayer. I started saying a prayer when I was living with my sister and the prayer was dear God, help tomorrow be better than today. And it never was. And it never was.
Speaker 2:So moving to Florida with my dad and thinking like, oh, finally I'm going to get this rest, I'm going to, it's going to be OK, they're going to take care of me. And it didn't work out that way. My dad's wife couldn't stand me living there and at this point I had started to pray. Things were so hard there that I had started to pray. Things were so bad that she made up that she was allergic to my dog, told my father that she was going to die if I didn't get rid of them, and so he's giving me an ultimatum of let my dog down or move.
Speaker 2:So same thing. That happened before. And I didn't buy it because she didn't have asthma. And so I just did this thing where I was like, okay, I'm gonna buy an air filter, we're gonna do this and that it's gonna be fine. And so, um, I'm getting. I get these Bible verses from Amazon they're called 101 Verses for Women and I start learning them Still not talking to God, but I started to and I was walking my dog. I would walk him every day and my prayer was the same. My prayer was a song and my prayer was the same.
Speaker 2:My prayer was a song, so I would sing my God is an awesome God and I would just sing the chorus over and over again. So I was walking. One day I'm singing, you know, my God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above. And then I stop, and I stop and I'm like God, are things about to get really bad? And it's this overwhelming whoosh of like yes, and I said that out loud and then I said it again. I was like am I going to make it? And it was again like yes. So a couple days later my father's wife walks into the police station, files a report that I had assaulted her with a knife.
Speaker 2:Oh, my yeah and so the police come. I'm in my dad's office, we're doing something, and the doorbell rings. I go to the door, it's a police officer and he arrests me and I'm like what? I don't know why. What's going on? He wasn't telling me why and he was really forceful about wanting to get me in the car and I'm like wait. And then he's like are you resisting arrest? And I'm like no, I'm like if I, if I go anywhere, I have to take my medication with me. And he was like well, you're just going to go, we're just going to go downtown. So we go, and it's full on jail.
Speaker 2:I'm like terrified, I don't know why I'm there. And they put this wristband on me that's green, and I started noticing that everybody else has like a white one. I'm like what's up with that? And then I was in the holding part where they send everybody. I was in the holding part where they send everybody and until they wait to put them in the individual like pods for jail, and I'm like I don't know why I'm here. And someone's like well, look at that paper. And they had given me a paper.
Speaker 2:And then I read the report. I read the report and the report said that I had assaulted my mother with, or my step-mom with, a knife. I had chased her around the house and making like stabbing motions. She was afraid for her life and I was just like. I like lost my breath. I was just like what in this? Like stagnant, like like quiet, was like oh no, and like what's going to happen now?
Speaker 2:So I have the green bracelet because mine is a felony at this point, like I know that God was just holding me in his hand because it was so bad, scariest thing that's ever happened to me, and I was there for about a week and everything is crazy, out of my control. I don't even know how it works. I don't know if you get a lawyer, what happens, but in the car, the police car, on the way there, I was like I looked at the barbed wire and I just said out loud I was like why would I do anything that would affect my future? And I'm just like, and he's like, don't worry about it, it's only five years. And I was just went like white and and then, because she was a senior, they top maybe five or 10 years on top of that. So I don't have access to the phone, I'm in jail.
Speaker 2:Things are really bad and I'm about to break and I knew that couldn't happen because I didn't have my medication. And they told me, they asked me, they pulled me in and said so are you depressed? I'm like no, they're like good, because if you are, we're going to put you in a room without any clothes on so you can't do anything. Seriously, this is real. I was like this is crazy.
Speaker 2:So I was like no, I'm not depressed, but I'm starting to think of my dog and on the outsides, because I'm still having the same doctor. He finds out he writes an email to my father like all capital letters. Ginger doesn't lie Like this is made up. Ginger doesn't lie like this is made up. Gender doesn't lie. And but since I have this diagnosis, everybody believes it right, cause I'm crazy.
Speaker 2:So, um, pretty much the worst thing that people can believe about you is trying to kill somebody and I'm I'm about to lose it Cause I'm like and I'm I'm about to lose it Cause I'm like my dad's probably going to get rid of my dog, and I sit down and it and I'm like dear God please. And before I can finish my prayer, all the lights go off and I I had said dear God, please turn off the lights. And all the lights went out in the whole jail. There was no thunderstorm outside. There was like this quiet, drizzling rain. That was kind of comforting. And all the lights went on in the jail for like four or five hours and that was what I had prayed for. I was crying out to God and by now I know some Bible verses and reciting Joshua 1, 9, be with you wherever you go and don't be afraid.
Speaker 2:So I get out, and I don't even know how. And I, and and God worked every single detail out, because when there is, when there was not one person in my life that was there for me I'm talking family, family was like this is an answer, this, like this, is where, like, she can go, like we don't have to worry about it anymore, she doesn't have to stay with us, like she can stay there. So I wasn't going to get any help and, um, I have, you know the case that's going to come up and I don't know anything, I don't know what to do and I do nothing. And God does everything. He works out every single detail. And I'm like, when nobody's there, god is and I, I experienced that on a real level, like miracles left and right, with lawyers, with paperwork, with everything. I didn't do anything. God did it all. At that point I get the no contact orders that I can't be within a certain amount of room from my stepmother. So I can't live there anymore. I have nowhere to go.
Speaker 1:Why did they end up letting you out?
Speaker 2:God worked it out. I have no idea. Wow. He just worked out everything and at one point I asked the lawyer I was like what's the incidence of people in here because of, um, what's the word when people make things up False?
Speaker 1:accusation or something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's basically that, uh pledge, no, can't remember it Anyway and she kind of looked at me Perjury.
Speaker 1:Is that what you're trying to say? Someone perjured.
Speaker 2:There you go. I'm like what's the incidence of people in jail because of perjury? She just looked at me, kind of weird, and I'm like, how do I, you know? Is there any way that I can get rid of this? Is there any way they can drop the charges? And she just handed me this paper. She's like, yeah, all you have to do is fill this out. I'm like that's all. And so it was kind of scary because my dad and his wife were going to put some really weird accusatory things on there. I'm like, no, she said it didn't matter, you can just drop the charges. So that's what happened.
Speaker 2:And at this point I'm driving around in my car with my dog Boomer, I'm staying in a motel and I'm flipping the stations and this song comes on and it starts out it's like letting go of every single dream. I lay each one down at your feet and then I'm like, okay, yeah, like letting go of every single dream, like yeah, yeah. And then it gets to the chorus and it's like you're not going to part the waters, you're not going to answer me. And I was like and I said out loud, I cried out and I was, and I was like no, god, you have to work this out for me and so I started listening to that artist, and she was the only artist I listened to for about five years afterwards. And God, what's her's her name? Lauren Daigle. Oh, okay, that spoke to her, and in every event that I can remember that God got me through, there was a song with it and that was a gift that he gave me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm in Wyoming and um what year is this when you get to wyoming? What year is it when you get to wyoming?
Speaker 2:2018, um, so three years after the last day I'd worked and I had applied for disability and this is a huge miracle. I don't know if you've ever talked to anybody who's applied for disability but you don't get it. You don't get it. The first couple of times I had gotten the application and I couldn't fill it out. I couldn't fill out anything. I was brain dead. My parents were supposed to fill it out. They didn't fill it out. My doctor was supposed to fill it out. He didn't fill it out because he didn't want to mess it up. He's like I'm making you like seem deaf and blind. And I'm like but he's like, yeah, because they don't accept these, like you don't get disability. And so they called me up and they were like you know, we haven't received any applications from you. And I was like I don't know how to fill it out. So she's like well, can I call you and we'll fill it out over the phone? And I'm like, yeah, and she realized after two phone calls that I couldn't do it. And she puts in, like her vote for me, like yeah, she's disabled. And since I didn't have a vote from my psychiatrist, didn't fill out anything, incriminating myself. My parents didn't fill out anything. I just had this one kind of like it's a go from who interviewed me from social security office. And then I had to see a doctor of theirs. And I went to see a doctor. She ended up being a child psychologist and I was like, oh no, so I had written in a journal the night before all of the problems and why there was a disability. And when I got into the session I just cried and I was all over the place and I made no sense at all and by the end of it I hadn't even gotten into the disability part. And and then I, and then I stood up and then I was like I saw this journal. I wrote in and I was like, hey, I wrote down everything in here. Do you want it? She's like, yeah, I have it. So I wrote my own report. She took everything from the journal and so I get it. I get disability the first time and God, god, god totally got it for me and just handed it to me. So this is how I'm supporting myself.
Speaker 2:Things continue to get pretty dark, but as far as my relationship with God, that grew brighter and brighter. I started looking up Bible verses at the bottom of my devotional there would be three or four verses to look up, and I would look them up and I would write down everything. I had a journal that I wrote in and I would write my prayers down. I had a journal that I wrote in and I would write my prayers down. I would write down things I wanted to remember, um, bible verses, and I would pray for people a lot, and, um, I still have those journals, I have many of them by now and, um, yeah, so, even though that time was very dark, I actually was experiencing something called dissociation, where I would tell my doctor you know, I remember waking up this morning, but I don't remember anything since then and he didn't really know.
Speaker 2:Um, I was afraid I wasn't taking care of my dog and he's like Ginger, you'll always take care of your dog, and so I ended up coming out to see what was wrong and realized that I just walked around like a zombie all day no talking, no awareness of what was going on around me, and just walking around staring off into space.
Speaker 2:So at that point, he had recommended a group home. That was pretty devastating, so I didn't do it. I was like, no, I'm going to be all right and just continued to let God provide for me. And this whole time I've been waiting for housing. That's been what I've waited for. That's why I'm in Wyoming. That's why I'm not back in Denver, where I wanted to be. I was on a list and they had to wait till my name came up. I was on a list and they had to wait till my name came up. So that was about three years waiting for my name and I didn't see anything past that. It was just when I get housing and that was all I was waiting for and I didn't really know what came after that. So, um, 2018, I find out that I get housing.
Speaker 2:This whole time, I had only applied to one place, and the way you're supposed to do it is apply to a bunch of places, but I didn't know how to do it. I'd never talked to anybody who's been through the process of finding public housing. So, um, but I just knew that I was going to take care of it, because every time I would call, I'd be like, hey, is everything all right? Do I need to do anything? They would just happen to be like, well, yeah, we mailed a letter out and if you don't sign it, you're off the list, and it would be like today's your last day to get it in. And so that would happen all the time because I didn't know what was going on. But God did, and he, he really was the only one besides my doctor, and that was all I needed. He did everything. If I need food, he provided for me. Um, um it. It was exciting, um again. So I've found, the less you can do for yourself literally, cause I'm walking around like a zombie the less you can do for yourself, it's true, the more perfect God's power is, because I saw it, I experienced it, just taking care of every detail, even like when I need to open my mail or find it.
Speaker 2:So I moved to Denver and by now, let me back up a little bit. And by now, let me back up a little bit. So when I was reading the Bible, I had never read it before and I went into it with two things that God was good and that he loved me. And so when I started, you know, it wasn't too far you get into like animal sacrifice and Genesis, and I was like I just don't understand this. So I was like, well, if God is good and I don't understand this, then that's, that's all it is. I don't understand it.
Speaker 2:Now I would move, I would move on, and I ended up looking up a lot of verses in the gospel, and this is when I was already friends with Jesus. I already talked to God all the time. When they say pray continually, that's not something they're talking about literally, but for me it was because I didn't have one friend, not even an acquaintance. The only person I knew was my landlord, and so there was literally no one except for my dog and God. And so I would spend hours and hours and hours, if not just in the word, I would be journaling, I would be talking to God, asking him questions, and I would sit down and read the devotional. Then I would, I would talk to God and I'd be like you know what about this and I have a question about that, and he would lead me through the Bible. And I remember one day I had like five questions, specifics questions, and by the end of it he had answered every single one.
Speaker 2:And by the end of it he had answered every single one, and it would just give me goosebumps all the time because I knew he was so close to me that, you know, recently I had a hard time bringing something up to stick up for myself to. You know, try to advocate for myself. I have a hard time asking people to do things, have a hard time asking people to do things. And, um, my coach even though it's for dieting exercise she said your homework this week is to talk to your aid. I have an aid who helps me in the house. She's like if you can go boldly before the throne of God and be able to talk to him about anything, then you can talk to this person. And I was like, yeah, you're right, I get to go boldly before God and he's never let me down and so he's going to be with me through this too. So when I get to Denver, I've been praying for a spiritual mentor forever and, um, I just don't find one. And I came to the conclusion that that Jesus was my spiritual mentor and I was just going to keep on keeping on. And so, shortly after I arrived in Denver, I made a trip out to see my doctor. He wasn't doing well and he needed help, and he helped me so many times. I couldn't help but go and see if I could do anything for him.
Speaker 2:While I was there, I became very stressed out and I experienced what's called mania, and for me, that's something that's common to my type of bipolar disorder, which is it doesn't matter, but it's called type one. When you actually experience mania and for me, something that isn't part of bipolar, but that does occur is I experienced psychosis as well, and psychosis is when you don't know the difference between what's real and what's not real. You don't know Everything's real to you because you're experiencing it, you're seeing it, you're hearing it and you don't know. And for me, I'm always alone during these episodes, so there's no one there to check me. Um, so worst thing you can do is get in the car when you have mania.
Speaker 2:But I had decided. I thought that my doctor was possessed and he wanted bad things for me, and so I was going to try to just go get on a plane and go back to Denver. I didn't have a ticket, I didn't have a way to get to the airport. I ended up running a vehicle that I didn't know how to drive, and by this I'm having full blown mania. I'm driving around and if it didn't feel right, I'd be like, help me Jesus, help me Jesus. Like I don't know, this doesn't feel right. And then it would be okay like turn around. So I would turn around and I was looking for the airport, not in my right mind, not knowing where I'm going Atlanta is a very, very hard place to drive and so I was just looking, I was driving, I saw the city and I saw the city buildings, and so I just like went that way, but I didn't know where the airport was. But eventually I started seeing airplanes and when I looked at them, there would be a thick trail of smoke between behind each airplane, not just one, but many of them. So at this point I'm seeing things and I'm starting to get scared. And when I get to the airport, they have the sign that says no stopping when you're driving through. So I look at that and I'm like, okay, no stopping. Like literally you can't put your foot on the stop, on the brake, and so then in my mind it's no starting, no stopping. So not the brake and not the gas.
Speaker 2:I left the airport and I ended up on not a highway but a pretty legit street. I came to an intersection and it wasn't just a four-way intersection, it was more. It was one more lane that was going diagonal and it was a red light. And I'm still in this no stop, no starting, no stopping, no starting, no stopping. And so I get to the intersection and it's red. So I close my eyes and hold on to the steering wheel and I'm like, okay, god, like I'm gonna go, but I'm too scared to look. You know, just help me. I'm going to go and I drive and there's a big semi coming right like head-on collision not head-on, but would hit me on the side for sure if I went into the intersection.
Speaker 2:But I went in and I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was on the other side of the intersection. I looked behind me, there was cars everywhere. There was no way I could, like, frogger my way to the other side. Definitely I was picked up and put on the other side. I don't know what that looks like, I don't know if that's tons of angels, but it's God and um, everybody was still at the intersection stops and the traffic was still going back and forth. That crazy intersection that had an extra lane and um pretty shook by that. Um, so that was a huge miracle in my life. That was kind of I shouldn't have made it through that, Um wow.
Speaker 2:And only no explanation. Only explanation is supernatural and spiritual warfare for sure.
Speaker 1:So um, you were just in this fear mode and you saw that sign.
Speaker 2:it just got kind of got into your head I was in this no starting, no stopping mode, I wasn't really afraid. I was just like, okay, god, I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna go through this intersection but it's because you saw that sign oh, back in the airport, yeah yeah yeah and that's kind of what it's like you perseverate on something.
Speaker 2:It could be something you're saying over and over again or a thought that keeps um, like that, like you said, I was still thinking about that, um, but a lot more. Just like I said, you don't know the difference between what's real and what's not real on a very, very concrete level. You don't know what's real. So, um, I get through this with God and end up back at my hotel and I get back there. I'm very paranoid. The lampshade there was a little burn mark on it and I looked under there. The light bulb was burnt and resting against the shade, the shade was crooked. Then I got very afraid that there was going to be a fire. So I unscrewed that light bulb. I took it off and then I proceeded to unscrew every single light bulb in the whole place. I got up on the ceiling. I loosened them all up, everything, because I was sure there was going to be a fire. So this is kind of what mania is like, but much crazier when you're experiencing all these things. So when you're experiencing all these things. So one thing about mania is you can't sleep. You stay up for days. You stay up day after day after day, and if you know people who stay up because of drug-induced reasons, they start getting paranoid, they start saying weird things, they start seeing weird things. Except for my brain is doing that without drugs, but something is clearly wrong. So you can't sleep and the only way to get out of it is to sleep. Well, I went to the hotel room and I slept without any medication and woke up the next morning completely clear-headed. And again, these things just don't happen. I was so blessed and taken care of and so thankful because there have been incidences similar since then and God has gotten me through every single one of them. Meanwhile, my doctor is seeing all of this, knows that I'm not lying, um, and I know he starts to believe it ended up, like I said, me ministering to him.
Speaker 2:I go back to Denver, I have housing and I continue to struggle with this illness. It's for me. The episodes are seasonal. A mood episode for me is a manic episode and a depressive episode, and episodes last three months, so slowly building towards mania over three months, with a big bang at the end and then, right after that, crashing and then slowly building into a deep depression for three months and back and forth and mine happened to be seasonal and I think that's because I have seasonal affective disorder. So the seasons really affect me and I think that that, just kind of coupled with the, with the disorder, is why it presents the way it does for me.
Speaker 2:So I was struggling with the new doctor I had. He wasn't comfortable prescribing the medications I had had before that had worked, and so this whole time God is the only one who's saving me. I'm getting into these full-blown episodes that aren't controlled and I'm praying and God is helping me go through my medications and figure it out. And every single time he did he did I would be looking through them, not recommend this to anybody knew a lot about my medications from what he taught me and it went like that for a long time to where my illness really wasn't controlled. I was reading the devotional again and it said what is it that you're most worried about? And right away I was like medication, medication. And afterward it said this is where you trust God the least. So that was kind of that was hard to read and I'm like, yeah, but it's not going well and I'm like, okay. So every time I think about medication I'm just going to be like, okay, god, you got this. Like this is the one thing that anytime I think about it because I could do it with that one thing. You know you need to do it with everything, but with that one thing I was like okay, medication, because it wasn't going well. All right, god, you got this and he would work it out, even though I would have episodes so just so close, such a I don't know how to explain it, except for that years went by when I only talked to God and he walked me through the Bible and I had a clear understanding of the gospel I was sure it was for everybody and I was pumped.
Speaker 2:When I moved back to Denver I was like, okay, let's find a church. Started going to church. What they were saying wasn't making sense at all. I was starting to think if I invited somebody I might be a stumbling block. So I didn't, but became friends with all my neighbors and they got to know me as someone who was going to pray for them if something was wrong. They always know that, like they come with something, I'm missing my dog, I'm like, all right, let's pray, and then I go look for that dog. So that has gone on since with cats, dogs I guess those are the two animals and, um, I have found them with god. It's nothing special about me just praying, so, um, since then, god has worked many miracles in my life.
Speaker 2:I ended up tearing a ligament in my knee, didn't know, knew something was wrong, but my primary care provider didn't think anything was wrong. She's like, just ride a bicycle, try to get it to work, and I'm like this is bad. But a whole year went by, nothing got fixed. And finally I demanded an MRI in the ER because she never gave me an order and I did. I had a torn ligament and it needed surgery. And then I was with a walker. I went to a concert and he couldn't bring a walker, so I had to get up some stairs and this was a Lauren Daigle concert at Red Rock, and so I had a cane and I got up the top. Everybody started clapping. It was really embarrassing. So something's clearly wrong with my leg and I can't get more than a block with my dog before I have to turn around. And was that the ER? For another reason? And they're like you gotta, you gotta get your leg, you gotta have surgery on it. So I'm helped, this is a jump Just stay with me.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm helping homeless people all the time in my neighborhood and stop and I pray with them and if there's anything that I can do, usually I say when I pray, usually I'm like, can I pray for you? They're like, yeah, so I'm putting my hand on them, I'm asking them what they want or what they need, and then I'm praying for God to have somebody else come in there and be able to help them with what they need and to put somebody in their life, and it always is me. Either they need a phone and I've got a free one that I'm not using or they need to charge their phone, or they need food, or they need like a wound carried after. And this is when I'm walking, having a hard time walking. I accidentally stumble when I walk into some mulch, because it's a different ground consistency, and I'm like, what am I gonna do with my, with my dog, during surgery? Nobody's gonna be able to walk her, and so then it's just like something got into me and I was like god, this is out loud again.
Speaker 2:For some reason, I got to talk to God out loud when something hits me and I'm like God, like I'm like Shadrach, meshach and Abednego, like I know that you can heal my leg, but even if you don't, I'm not bowing. And so I'm like, all right, what do I do? So I'm like, okay, I'm just going to look straight. At this time I'm thinking about everything religious. I'm like I'm going to be like Peter, but I'm not going to look back, I'm just going to look straight and I'm going to use this leg. I'm going to walk, and so I'm walking right, but I'm walking on one consistency and I'm trying not to think about it. Have all this stuff. And I've been bending over, I've been squatting and I kind of noticed it when it was happening.
Speaker 2:I'm like I just I just squatted down and get this and I'm not feeling any pain in my knee, um, so I'm like all right, like in the chosen, when God heals somebody of their leg, they start jumping up and down. So so I was like okay, so I start jumping up and down. No pain.
Speaker 2:That would have. That would have done some injury. And then I'm like, okay, well, on the chosen, when people get their leg healed, they just take off running. So I did. I took off running and I didn't stop because of my leg. I stopped because I was tired and out of shape. Got inside the door one more time on the chosen, they do this. So I start dancing and my leg is healed.
Speaker 2:I was having some crappy, some cracking and crepitus and um in my knee when I bent it and I'm like it's okay, it's okay, like I don't feel any pain, like before. Everything was painful, even sitting down. It was hard to get up. And I'm like this cracking is just a reminder of my miracle. And I told you about my dog. She's crazy. She also does the zoomies and breaks everything in the house. And she's come, she's doing the zoomies, she's running around the corner I don't get out of the way in time and she's her blockhead is bam, right into my knee. The knee that's cracking and that got healed. And I'm like no god. And she runs off and there is god knows how. He knows me, there was no cracking. He uses my dog to finish up the deal.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to take a quick break, real quick, super fast, and I'm going to bring on my bro, michael. Mike, how long have you been rocking with the gospel man?
Speaker 4:Man, it's been really in my life, maybe for the past year or so 2023.
Speaker 1:Ooh 2023. And what has that you know? Do you like it? Dude I. What has it done? A change in your life, would you say.
Speaker 4:Man, the Yelp review is just going to be short and sweet. It's just, God has turned me upside down. Man, I am completely at peace. Content Dude, I can't say enough about that. And I just know I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 1:Praise God. Man, you have dedicated time, money, energy for this message to get out there. Why is that important to you?
Speaker 4:value, trying to make my marriage work and ever since I've met this community and the gospel hit me.
Speaker 1:It's just I want to see it do the same thing for everyone else. I love it. Man, if you're listening to this and you want this to go forward, you can go to wwwloverealityorg slash give and partner with us. We do depend on you. If it is not for you guys, we could not continue to go on. And uh, yeah, partner with us so we can keep going and getting it out there. Loverealityorg slash give. Thanks a lot, uh, mike anything man Uh Mike.
Speaker 1:Anything, man. So. So, before we wrap the whole thing up, I want to hear about how you ran into us and the impact, because I remember that first time you and I were talking, we started talking about medication and being healed and believing the gospel and what it had to do with medication.
Speaker 2:So talk to me about how you came across us and kind of the impact that that has had on your life. Okay, so this is not a long story. My sister and I have not gotten along our whole lives. We find ourselves in church together and this pastor is like don't wait until you die to say you're sorry to somebody. If, if something's, if something's wrong, go and find that person and apologize right away. And my sister is someone that I would be asking God, like I don't know how to forgive her. I know that I need to forgive her, but I don't know how Years I'm journaling this. So I'm waiting for the apology, right, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to say this before we get to the car. So I stop her in the parking lot and I'm like, hey, I'm really sorry. And I'm like I know you can't say sorry for everything, but sorry for everything. She kind of has like this one tear but then straightens up. That's what we do in my family. Just okay, and just keep going. And from this is a bigger miracle than my knee. From this point on, our relationship is healed. And I'm talking it was bad, real bad it's. I don't even know how we ended up at church together. So I'm getting along with my sister.
Speaker 2:Her birthday comes along and I'm like I'm going to write her something really nice. So I thought of something really special and sent it to her over the computer. And so a couple of days later she's like do you want to go to church? I'm like, yeah, I'm like man, that's so cool. My sister doesn't ever talk to me. Well, she talks to me, but we don't do a whole lot together.
Speaker 2:Things went great for a long time. Her birthday comes up, I write her something online, do something really nice, and then I get invited to church with her and I'm like, man, this is because I wrote her that, that, that letter, and it was. And so I'm like where are we going? She's like I don't know. I'm like, well, why are we going here? She's like, well, my friend Cheryl said that we got to come listen to this guy who's preaching. I'm like, all right, so we go and see this guy and it ends up being Pastor Jonathan Leonardo and he's just telling a sermon. It's not a series, it's not meetings. And right before he started, the pastor there at the time who was Tyler's father? Tyler's father, morrison, pastor Morrison.
Speaker 1:Wayne Morrison.
Speaker 2:And he stopped to tell Jonathan you know, I just really appreciate how you make it simple so that I can understand, because I'm not someone who comprehends lots of lofty ideas. And I saw Jonathan pause and kind of put his head to the side and do that. And so he starts in and he listened. He listened to that comment and he read the room because he proceeded to give a very, very simple rundown of the gospel. He says something and people always ask me what did he say? What'd he say? I'm like I don't know. But he, I stopped and I closed my eyes and like in my imagination, I'm just going, like with my arms, I'm going, yes, I knew it, I freaking knew it. And it was like what did you know? And I'm like I knew it was for everyone. I knew it was for everyone. And so there was going to be another talk after lunch and I'm like, yeah, we're staying for before. I was like, no, I'm not staying with these people. It's COVID, I saw somebody barefoot. I'm not staying with these people. So I'm like we're not eating with them. But then we ended up doing it took off the mask, just chilled out, ate with these people, stayed afterwards to hear it and Jonathan keeps on saying man like this has never happened before. He wanted to talk about why Seventh-day Adventists are just really Seventh-day Baptists and he never got to that point. He just keeps saying, wow, this has never happened before. He's just being real simple. People are leaving and before he started, actually I tell Cheryl, because Cheryl comes up after the sermon and she looks like she's glowing and she's like I'm so sorry, guys, and I'm like for what she's like. She's like I don't know what's going on, but he can. He's on fire, he's. She's like he can preach and all this kind of stuff. And I'm like I'm sure he can, but he needed to be simple, and being simple is better for everyone, no matter what they can comprehend, and I was like that was perfect, that was so simple. She's like no, but he can really preach. And I'm like, no, but it was simple and it was enough for me to be like we're staying.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, before the meeting, let's, let's just say this part we're walking from the church to where we're going to have a dinner afterwards lunch and uh, she's inviting me. She's in introducing me. She's like there's this guy. She's like that's Paul who turned into Saul.
Speaker 2:She was talking about Eddie, and um, energy says to him and we're walking along, and I just stopped and I asked him I'm like, so how do you guys come to somebody's church? And he's like, well, we have a website. I'm like, well, no, I'm like you guys are here right now and I'm like, well, I'm just going to ask him. And then he's like, well, he's not a rock, he's not a movie star, you can go ask him, you can go talk to him, because I want to find out how do you come to my church.
Speaker 2:And so um didn't end up talking to him during the lunch to Jonathan, but afterwards, um, they know, oh sorry, this is the best part of it. So he said, just go on the website. And I'm I stopped and I'm just still like shook, right, and I'm like my whole conference needs to hear about this. I'm part of the um central States conference and I'm like my whole conference needs to hear about this. Like maybe we can have it on webcam. All this stuff is going to be awesome. And so they knew I wanted to talk to him. And we were back for the second part of the story, for the why we're just seventh day baptist, part, and and cheryl's like I'm not sure if he was actually saying we're just Seventh-day Baptists.
Speaker 2:That's what he called it, he said. He said if we? He said what? What we really are? That's what he said. He said why some of the Adventists are really just Seventh-day Baptists. That's what he called it All right.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like I'd have to hear that message, but keep going.
Speaker 2:Well, you might be right, you might be right, but that was what I understood. So that aside, they're like just you can ask him questions, he doesn't mind, you can ask him questions, and I'm like I don't have a question, I just want to hear what he has to say so that I can tell everyone I know.
Speaker 1:What was grabbing you about it? Just that it was for everyone.
Speaker 2:It was for everyone and that it was really good news and that I mean he had preached the gospel and I just took that away from it. And then I wanted to know everything. Yeah. I was like, like I said in the beginning, how, that's not it, that's not it what I was seeing, and, as and as a child, I was like this is it yeah and I was like I know the truth when I hear it.
Speaker 2:This is it, and so the whole conference needs to know all this kind of stuff. And then they leave and it's kind of like cryptic, like weird, like everybody disappears and I, I, I look at this website, it's it's like all right, all right, but where are the testimonies? Like how do you, where are these people? And it's just these videos with little lessons. And then I scroll to the bottom and there's some red text and there is a number that says text and it's real small down there. Text donate something. And I'm like I don't know, that's kind of weird. I text a number, so I saw it was a Hawaii number, so I was like that's cool, so I texted it and, as you know, you get a little response that you have to agree to receive the text messages.
Speaker 2:And then they say, from that point on, you're talking to us. So I text and I, I, I overshare, I'm really excited and uh, and then get this video back about the seven minutes and it's on YouTube seven minutes of the gospel and it's on YouTube and I'm like YouTube. I didn't think about YouTube. So I start finding them and I find a series that was at Pleasant Valley.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pleasant Valley church.
Speaker 2:So and I'm watching it and everything. And then I find out about the Bible studies through the text messages, not through anything else. I kept on asking where are the testimonies? And then finally the Death to Life podcast pops up. But I'm looking for everything and so I get on the Bible studies with you and at that point, besides Saturday morning, with what Eddie was doing something on a Saturday morning, besides that, you did every single study and I think you did like four of them.
Speaker 1:I did three for a while. I did Monday, tuesday, wednesday, and then there was internet church, so I was just missing Thursday.
Speaker 2:So I was on all of them and I just show up and you said, hey, how did you hear about us? And I said, Cheryl, and you're like cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, so I was on every single one. I just went right. I was like I need to hear everything these people are saying so I can tell everybody I know. And then I hear that there was going to be a series of meetings for nine days in Colorado. Didn't have a car, I was so, so like I was so there. I was like nothing's going to stop me from going there, even if I have to spend tons of money. And so I ended up renting a car, didn't miss a night, and that was when I met you.
Speaker 2:And at this point, I'm still taking medication and doing the thing. It's still the same and yeah, and so I know that at that time I did ask for healing. I know that at that time I did ask for healing and, um it, it didn't happen how I would. I would have, uh, thought so and I just kept on going. But since then, and very and so I've always said, okay, medication, god, it's up to you.
Speaker 2:Because, um, very briefly, god sends me tons of people who have a mental illness and who are the same exact diagnosis and they need medication. And I help every single one of them and their life changes. So I call it my ministry of medication. So I'm praying to God for the same thing and he's like, okay, you know, just leave it to me. And I'm getting to think, okay, god's going to heal me with my medication, that's how he's going to do it, cause that's how I was healed before and he did it. I have a new doctor. She listened to me, because I know all these things about meds, and she did everything that I asked and we worked together and she cared about me and she's the doctor that I still have and I am symptom free and stable for the longest time that I have been in many, many years. So no episodes, and healed with the medication, mind you, but no episodes. And I always say to people, would you put a limit to how God heals?
Speaker 1:And they're like no, no, so that's powerful Ginger In understanding the gospel and freedom from sin. What is the thing that you keep going back to that has spoken to you the most about you? What the gospel says about you.
Speaker 2:Well, I already knew how much you love me. Now I know you know my identity, which I knew before, because it was just God in me and I felt like it. What is, what does it say about me? Well, I'm more firm in the belief. I'm rock solid about it. I'm so confident that I pray for people when I see them, I invite people to the Bible studies and I think I just get more and more excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, we see it, bible studies, and I think I just get more and more excited. Yeah Well, we see it.
Speaker 2:We were just hanging out in Nebraska and you brought a bunch of friends there that I got to meet. They were from the Central States Conference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we had some friends in common and so it was good to see them. But Ginger, to see them, uh, but ginger, you're a testimony to me of faithfulness, of even through the ups and downs and there's been some ups and there's been some downs that kind of that idea, um of shadrach meshach, edna bednigo, that even if he doesn't you, you're not going to bow, and that's beautiful. And there's a whole bunch of people experiencing tough times and you can come alongside them and you understand and put your arm around them and say, hey, it's going to be okay. God is love, he loves us. It's for everybody. And I see that coming out of your life, I see that when you comment on Internet Church or in the Bible study, that that's always been your heart and so that's a huge testimony to us and it's just a privilege to see you growing in this truth.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you my last question. If you could go back in time, let's pick a time, thank you, and you get to go and you get to put your arm around this girl and tell her hey, you know what, what would you encourage her with if you got a chance to see her? What girl.
Speaker 1:You? Oh, if you got to put your arm around you, you're in jail. You have no idea what's going on. You don't know this situation. I'm just picking this time where it felt like the world was caving in around you and that you get to go and minister to you. How would you minister to yourself?
Speaker 2:The same way God did when he told me beforehand I said am I going to make it? Remember. I said am I going to make it? And he said yes.
Speaker 1:So you would say, girl, you, I going to make it. And he said yes.
Speaker 2:So you would say girl, you're going to make it, I'm going to make it and I did and I knew that and I just needed that comfortable like, and I'm going to make it quiet and dark and you can chill. Amen.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for telling your story, ginger. It's been a blessing to me and I'm sure it's going to bless a lot of people. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Richard.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love to hear Ginger's heart. I love her faith. I love just her trust and just the idea that she knew it was for everybody. And so if you don't believe, it's for you, this prayer is for you. Father in heaven, just show me that, while I hear other people's stories, this truth is specifically for me that you sent your son to die for me while I was an enemy, and so I know that you love me and I believe it with my whole heart. I pray these things in Jesus's name, amen. All right, don't forget to go to that Good Good Bible Study Sunday afternoons, justin Koo. Sunday afternoons, justin Koo, he hosts that good, good text, that good good to the LRT number to get messages. It really is that good, good and you will really love it. So check out all the circles. Don't be a hater. Come on now, check them out. Love y'all, appreciate y'all. Bye.