Amy Boyle: 0:00
Welcome to the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast. I'm your host, Amy Boyle. Today we have a truly inspiring guest, Megan Murphy, the founder of the Kindness Rocks Project. Join us as we explore how a simple message on a rock can transform lives and how spreading kindness is more impactful now than ever. Stay tuned as we explore the power of community and responsible engagement with our environment as well. This is the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast. Welcome to the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast, Megan. I am so glad you're here.
Megan Murphy: 0:38
Thank you so much for having me, Amy. I'm really looking forward to chatting today.
Amy Boyle: 0:43
We're long overdue for a catch-up, and what's kind of cool is that I put out a request to the listeners as to who would they like to hear from, and you were one of the first people that was mentioned, and little did the person who requested know that we actually know each other and go back to a cruise in Alaska seven years ago.
Megan Murphy: 1:03
Yeah well, the universe works in mysterious ways. I absolutely believe that.
Amy Boyle: 1:09
Would you mind, for the rest of our listeners, giving an introduction to the phenomenal? You?
Megan Murphy: 1:14
My name is Megan Murphy. We met many years ago and I am the founder of a project that's now gone global it's called the Kindness Rocks Project and also a women's empowerment coach and lots of other things which I'm sure we'll talk about later on in this podcast.
Amy Boyle: 1:33
Could you give a little background into how the project started and all that goodness?
Megan Murphy: 1:40
The Kindness Rocks Project is a global movement that I started 10 years ago, back in 2014. And basically how it started was I was going through a really challenging time in my life and many of you listeners may understand what I'm talking about. It was a big life change. My kids were growing up. I found a lack of purpose in the work that I was doing and, after putting so many years and so much energy into that business that I'd spent almost two decades building, it was time for me to make a change and just follow and find my happiness and joy. And yet I didn't know what that was and it was really scary and it was really scary and, as a result of that, I just walked away from that business and found myself just distraught and really going through challenges.
Megan Murphy: 2:32
So the only thing I knew what to do was to put on my sweatpants and go for a walk on the beach, because I live on Cape Cod and I hadn't walked those beaches in about 15 to 20 years because I was working all the time. I hadn't walked those beaches in about 15 to 20 years because I was working all the time. And on that beach walk as I was, like you know, mentally working through. You know my challenges and where I was going to go next in life. I started to find heart shaped rocks on the beach and they felt like just little hugs, you know, from the universe or messages from my mom and dad that things were going to be okay. So from that first heart rock that I found, it evolved into me. Finding a Sharpie magic marker in my pocket one day and pulling that out and noticing the faces of other walkers that looked like me Maybe they were pondering something, and I left just five messages with that Sharpie on rocks scattered across the beach that first day.
Amy Boyle: 3:29
And so what kind of message were you writing those? As a note to yourself or in response to the kind of folks who were passing by as you were walking?
Megan Murphy: 3:40
That's a really good question Both. So I was writing really simple messages like that's a really good question, both. So I was writing really simple messages like you've got this, or answer lies within, or hang in there, which were the messages that I needed personally. And again, there was only five rocks that I left these messages because I thought, well, they're all kind of generic, so whatever somebody is going through, that message might resonate with them too.
Megan Murphy: 4:02
And the crazy part again of this day was that one of my friends found one of those five rocks on a mile and a half stretch of beach and she messaged me and said hey look, I found your rock today and I hadn't told anybody that I was doing it. But she knew I loved heart rocks and she knew I walked that beach every day and that would be something that I would do. And I denied it and I said I didn't do that, even though inside I was like, oh my gosh, she knows it's me. It's kind of a strange thing for a middle-aged woman to be doing. But I can say that if she didn't message me because she told me how much that rock meant to her, because she had been going through something that day, if she hadn't sent me that message, I'm not sure that the Kindness Rocks project would have ever been born.
Megan Murphy: 4:47
I love that, and then it goes to your whole mission, right, yeah, so one message at just the right moment can change someone's entire day, outlook or life, and for her, it changed her day. For many people, that message me now that the project has grown since that day back in 2014 to here we are in 2024. This project not only has continued to grow, it's in over 90 countries and I receive messages almost every day from people you know again with that tagline it's a rock that they found either changed their day or their outlook or perspective on something, and in some cases you know, their entire life, which is really beautiful and wonderful.
Amy Boyle: 5:34
So once you realize there was some momentum behind this. How do you take it from a personal project to a global art installation? A personal project to a global art installation?
Megan Murphy: 5:45
Yeah, well, that's a really good question as well, because I did not plan on that at all, amy. Like I was really insecure about it. You know that first day that my friend messaged me, I'm like, oh shoot, okay, now I get to continue doing this Because it is making an impact on other people. And again, I was still feeling down and out at that moment. That was the very beginning of me trying to work through my emotions and what I was going to do next with my life. So I had nothing but time on my hands. So I was like tomorrow I'll get up and I'll paint some more rocks, and the next day and the next day and I didn't even realize that that process was helping me internalize my next steps, which was creating this into a movement. I was just giving myself the messages that I needed every morning and I didn't even understand that. I know it sounds weird that I was doing something, that I didn't understand what I was doing or why I was doing it, but I just knew, hmm, there might be other people that find one of these messages and it helps them.
Megan Murphy: 6:47
And because Cape Cod is a place that people come from all over the world to visit, another day I was walking on the beach and I'm like people aren't even going to understand what this is. And I'd had a conversation with my daughter and she said, mom, you should put a hashtag on the back of your rocks. And you know, this was 10 years ago and I'm I was an old lady then. I'm an old lady now. I'm like I don't even know what a hashtag is. I didn't know what social media was. And she explained to me that people use a hashtag to connect each other, to look up things on social media. And I said, okay, well, I'll try that. And then I was like, okay, so there's a hashtag, so if somebody finds it, they can look that up and they can reach out to me.
Megan Murphy: 7:30
And then, additionally, I found a piece of driftwood one day on my walk and I thought, what if I plant a garden, an inspiration garden, at the beach? And so I, you know, wrote the kind hashtag the Kindness Rocks project take a rock, leave a rock, add a rock. And I put that at the beach and every day I would walk and I would put painted rocks there and I would hide from the beach patrol, because I'm like I don't know if I'm supposed to be doing this and which now I tell everybody, you have to ask permission. But at the time no one else was doing this and so I did it anonymously. But those gardens that I planted at the beach, you know, no one else was doing this and so I did it anonymously. But those gardens that I planted at the beach, again, people came from around the world, they took pictures of it and that's kind of how it began to grow.
Amy Boyle: 8:19
So, megan, I know there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of stories that you've been encountering or have heard of through the work that the Kindness Rush Project has done, and I can't wait for you to share a couple stories with our audience that have really moved you.
Megan Murphy: 8:29
Yeah, so I'm going to start with one story. So and this is an interesting story so the Today Show called because they caught wind of this and so they came and filmed for a day and then they brought me to New York to meet a person who this project greatly affected. So I wasn't. I didn't know who this person was ahead of time. I met in New York and I met her in studio and her name is Karen and she had lost her daughter to an accidental overdose. It was like Superbowl weekend and her one of her daughter's friends gave her a pill and she thought it was just to help her sleep and ended up. You know, it was a tragic, tragic story that unfortunately, we hear all too much of now. Karen, you know, started this project called Alyssa's Wishes after her daughter's memory of painting the kindness rocks. It helped her heal after the loss of her daughter and then she would, you know, have people go on and travel with Alyssa's wishes rock. So it was like Alyssa was traveling to these locations. We met and it was like an instant connection and a year after she and I met on the Today Show. This is where the story gets really crazy. I was asked to speak at a school in Long Island and I can remember, like so much of this, which I can't remember, what I did yesterday, but this story is really powerful. I remember thinking I do not want to go all the way to Long Island, you know, even though I love this work and I know the kids will enjoy it. There was something that was like oh, I just don't want to go. So I was hemming and hawing and taking my time, and so then I was running out of time because this travel involved a ferry and a long car ride, and so I stopped at the post office and I hadn't even heard the name of the town ever before they asked me to come. And in my post office I'm in a very rural area, there's never anybody in there and there was one woman ahead of me and she had her purse on the counter and I'm standing waiting behind her and I'm looking at her purse and I'm like, oh my gosh, her purse has a map on it and it has the name of the town that I'm going to visit in Long Island. And I went running over to her person like what is this and this town? I'm going there right now, long like a post about it. And Karen reaches out to me, alyssa's mom, and says I can't believe that you're in that town. And I said why? And she said that's where Alyssa's buried. And I said no, you live like I forget where she lives. Right now it's Kansas City. She lives in Kansas but. But I didn't know that she was originally from Long Island and so her daughter was buried in that town. So I went, oh my goodness.
Megan Murphy: 11:35
I woke up the next morning bright and early and I walked up to the cemetery and it was like six in the morning and there I'm like how am I going to? She tried to give me directions to Alyssa's grave and it's impossible. And a man pulls up in a truck at six o'clock in the morning and says can I help you? I said I don't know, I'm looking for this grave site for Alyssa and he's like oh, I know exactly where it is, hop in. It was like the craziest thing. So he drove me up to her grave site. There was kindness walks all over her grave and I sat there and had a conversation with her and you know, then I'm like ah, it really wasn't about presenting at the school, it was about Alyssa all along. So crazy.
Amy Boyle: 12:14
That's so beautiful and right. I think sometimes, when we get in our own way, you know, if we just trust the process and the journey, like these things show up, we're open our eyes to see them. Right, how cool is that. First, that took you to the town that made her mom message you. I'm very moved. That is beautiful.
Megan Murphy: 12:37
Yeah, it's one of those crazy stories behind the project that takes some time to tell, so I don't really tell it that often. But she and I, you know, message a lot together and she's a she's a wonderful woman. She does amazing work in Kansas City. Now she has, like she is, a book swap at her house along with a kind of socks garden. She puts benches and people come and it's just, it's a beautiful thing.
Amy Boyle: 12:58
So the story you just told about Karen and Alyssa is so intrinsic to what I look at and phenomenalness and other things about the power of community, and community is whenever we gather right and even if it's remotely over a text message. You've now created this connection when people get together and become a part of a Kindness Rocks group in their own town or community. What kind of help or infrastructure are you giving the different groups as far as what to do when they get together?
Megan Murphy: 14:09
Yeah, so that's a really great question. So, as a movement, there's now been Kindness Rock groups in communities that have popped up organically again around the world. So people run rock painting groups and it's amazing. Then there's also a different, you know, area of this project, which is organizations, corporations and things like that who also want to join, and so I have to delineate the two, and the reason why is because you know there's a different set of rules for both right? So if you're just joining the movement and you're a Facebook group in a community and you're getting together to paint together and you're putting the kind of socks in your community, that is wonderful.
Megan Murphy: 14:57
I have a ton of free resources on the website for people that are doing that. It's amazing. I share their posts and everything when it's an organization or a corporation or even a school that's doing it because of the trademark. Now, behind the project, there's a lot of things that I have to ensure are maintained, which is the integrity behind the project. The's a lot of things that I have to ensure are, you know, maintained, which is the integrity behind the project the eco-friendly paints, the leave no trace component, which is very important, and so there's two different areas there, and so I'm glad that you brought that up and all that information's on the website.
Megan Murphy: 15:35
But I do encourage in both ways. You know, when I'm working with corporations and organizations, the workshops that I do for them, is basically called the art of connecting, and it's connecting with yourself, first and foremost, and giving yourself that compassion, self-compassion, based in mindfulness, and I am a firm believer that it is only then that we then understand the need for compassion for others. So it's how to connect the workplace in that way. And for the Facebook groups, it's, you know, again it's that same concept, but it's really just people coming together to commune, to like sit next to each other and paint and have conversations, much like you would when we were youngsters in school, and our desks are together and we were coloring and we're. You know it's just everybody starts to have conversations and open up.
Amy Boyle: 16:27
So, and I think with, uh, the workplace being disjointed like post-covid um, not necessarily being in the office all the time having events where, if this is maybe something that we're doing together to bring the teams together, team building, learning about each other. That's such an incredible thing Because earlier in this season I had Jennifer Fromel on and she's a therapist and she loves to promote art therapy and anything that isn't, you know, just cognitive behavioral therapy and all these other things, but actually physically doing something to change mindset. What kind of results and feedback have you gotten from some of these corporate retreats and things?
Megan Murphy: 17:15
Yeah, it's been really amazing. Retreats and things yeah, it's been really amazing. And again, I never planned on this, so that was challenging for me. To learn to become an inspirational speaker and to do these workshops. That was a whole new skill set for me, something that I didn't plan. But, as we discuss, the universe sometimes makes plans for us and it's really been so powerful.
Megan Murphy: 17:37
Again, it's like that hands-on component. There's a quote and oh, thank goodness I have the sticker right here. It says tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn by Benjamin Franklin, and that's the main part of this. Right, like I can talk about kindness rocks all day long, but if you're going to sit down and then do the work and paint the rocks, you have a greater understanding and then cultivating those conversations around that art therapy that you're basically working on is just beautiful.
Megan Murphy: 18:11
Everybody so far that has participated whether it be a Fortune 500 company to the latest one that I did, which was a suicide prevention mental health event for high school students around the state of Massachusetts. They just love it and it's a tool that they have in their toolkit now, because the five-step process isn't just about to work you through to put whatever you're going to put on the rock. But it's just anything that you can use, based in mindfulness, at any time to kind of check in with yourself and then kind of take that breath and then what is the message that you need right now for yourself? And you know, kind of like give that to you like as you would a friend.
Amy Boyle: 18:52
And you mentioned, like working with the high schools and being that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, what specifically can we do to share compassion for ourselves and our greater community? How has that been received when you go to speak on that topic?
Megan Murphy: 19:13
Yeah, it's so interesting because I think there's a you know, obviously there's a stigma with mental health. There's also a stigma around self-love and self-compassion because I think societally we've been taught to do for others. You know, do for others Like put yourself last, like make sure that you're doing good in the world and you know taking care of everybody else, like make sure that you're doing good in the world and you know taking care of everybody else. When the reality is, you've all of you many of you listeners have probably heard you know idea of putting that mask on yourself when you're on an airplane the oxygen mask. But it's so true Unless you are able to recognize the need within yourself for that self-compassion, you're not going to notice the need in somebody else, right?
Megan Murphy: 19:58
So, really paying attention to that within yourself, it's not a breaking revelation, it's just something that we've, I think, been taught that we shouldn't be putting our attention to when that's the very place that we need to start. So many times when I'm doing these workshops, it gives people kind of like pause and like huh, you know what? I have not been giving myself that kindness and compassion. Maybe I've been doing it all wrong.
Amy Boyle: 20:23
I agree that's the premise of the whole idea of this podcast is because we don't raise our hand enough to recognize the awesome, phenomenal things that we do and who we are. And the same thing for you said recently in one of your Instagram walks just grace, we don't give ourselves grace and patience with ourselves. We'll be patient with other people and things and circumstances, but the idea that every day is a new day if we're lucky enough to get another one, and it's pretty incredible if you can start with the person in the mirror right and I'm so grateful that your project continues to emphasize that because, to your point, it's not revolutionary, but yet somehow we still need to hear it over and over because it hasn't stuck.
Megan Murphy: 21:10
And so that's why you know, for example, kindness Rocks my desk, like I'm sitting at my desk right now and this is a thing full of pens and rocks. It's a practice. So, like you said, we need to be reminded. And I'm also reading a book. You asked me, too, what is a great book? I'm reading this great book right now, called the 5am Club, and I don't know if any of you know about it, but it's really like how you take these great morning rituals and habits and then it just becomes automatic, and so that's kind of what's happening with the kindness walk so automatically every morning I take that time for myself to reflect, and so that's kind of I'm building those, that neuroplasticity in my brain around that, because I don't want to have to be reminded to take care of myself and give to myself that love and kindness. I want it to become automatic.
Amy Boyle: 22:03
And a great place to start is because we have all the resources right within us. We just have to give ourselves the time and we're not too busy. We really can find whether it's at 5 am or 6 am or you know midnight if you're a night owl, but yeah, we can do it. You know I liked that you brought up earlier. When you first started started the garden, you weren't sure if you could leave it there and I noticed now on the website because I'm a former scout leader for 10 years. I leave no trace is a very near and dear notion to our family core values, but also like the idea of eco-friendly paints and things on the rocks. Can you talk about more of Howard's Kindness Rock Project, educating people on that and what that means?
Megan Murphy: 22:51
Yeah, so I love that. It's interesting Anytime. It was a great lesson for me. So anytime that we have an idea or we're doing something and we don't know until we know, right, then the reality is okay if I don't know about that.
Megan Murphy: 23:10
So I did not know about Leave no Trace at all and someone called me out on it. It was actually I was in New Hampshire and I dropped a kindness rock on the top of a mountain, which is an absolute no-no, and I thought it was a good thing because it was a message for someone that had climbed the mountain and reached there, and it was like an inspirational thing. And it was a good thing because it was a message for someone that had climbed the mountain and reached there, and it was like an inspirational thing. And and it was interesting because, you know, when not just one person reached out to me, I had many people reach out to me and not in a kind way, but the re and it was it was really painful to receive the messages, but the thing is is that I had to sit back and go. They're not, you know, they're passionate about this Leave no Trace that I know nothing about.
Megan Murphy: 23:50
So, megan, you need to learn about it, and because you have such a large audience, you need to educate others about it, since you didn't know, you don't know until you don't know. So that became let me use my platform to help educate others. And I agree with Leave no Trace like 100,000%, and so that has become a cornerstone of this project. There are places that you can leave these walks and there's places that you certainly can't, and so that, for me, has become part of my mission, right? So from you know, not understanding, not knowing to learning more and then to okay, how can I make this a positive for others? And so that's been a real part of my mission. Anytime I do interviews or podcasts and things, I talk about that. So if you don't know what Leave no Trace is, please go over to leavenotraceorg and learn about it yourself.
Amy Boyle: 24:42
And then as far as eco-friendly paints and things that people are decorating the rocks with, what do you encourage in that space?
Megan Murphy: 24:52
Yeah, so it's really important that you're using eco-friendly products. I have a paint kit which is a one-for-one model, so I donate a kit to a nonprofit in need for every kit that's purchased that comes with all the eco-friendly supplies. That comes with all the eco-friendly supplies. But one of the most important components is when you are painting kindness rocks and leaving them anywhere, you want to make sure that the rocks are sealed so that the paint's not seeping into the ground. So having a sealant like a DuraClear or a Krylon is very important, so that will keep it protected. Of course, the idea is that the rocks are not supposed to stay out there for long periods of time that they would seep into the you know, the ground. It's really for people to pick up and, you know, put them on their desk or whatever, or hand them to somebody else, but if, in case, they are in the ground for longer than that, you want to make sure that they're sealed.
Amy Boyle: 25:39
And all that will be. We'll be able to link your website in the show notes. So if people are interested in learning more about the products, the technique and leave no trace, we can find it all right there. As our time is dwindling down, I do want our listeners to learn a little bit more about the other projects that you have on your horizon and things that you're currently working and passionate about. Could you share a little bit more about those?
Megan Murphy: 26:03
I'll just give you a little bit of a background. So one day I was walking on the beach and I just kept having this thought that I should take out my phone and create a video and do like a video vlog, which I normally just show pictures of rocks, and so it was super uncomfortable for me, but I put the camera up and I shared I don't know. There's a thought in my mind going on, much like a message on the kindness rock. I don't know who needs to hear this. So I started doing that and then all of a sudden, all of these women started reaching out to me saying oh my gosh, that's the exact message that I needed to hear and it's so nice to see a human being behind this project. So, even though it was very uncomfortable, I started to do more and more of that and then many times I'd say to the women mom, happy to chat with you. So that turned into me also longing for that connection and having conversations with other women. So I started a woman's storytelling project called Heard Storytelling. Heard is H-E-R, apostrophe D. So, like you were heard and it's been really wonderful, I'm launching it here on the Cape.
Megan Murphy: 27:12
Currently I only have two more left of a six-month cohort that I've been doing.
Megan Murphy: 27:17
So 50 women come together monthly and there's different topics and women in the group volunteer to share a story on whatever the topic is. And it's been so wonderful, and so I have plans this fall to launch that nationally as well, to give other women and other communities the platform to do the same thing, because I can tell you that it's been super powerful and the women really look forward to convening each month and it's a beautiful thing. And we talked about connection and community. It creates this beautiful community and much greater connections, because, you know, I can be sitting next to a woman I don't know her story for like three months of this herd event and then all of a sudden, on the fourth month, she becomes a speaker and she stands up and shares her story. I'm like I have a whole new like perspective of this person and that's what it's all about. You know it's. It's teaching us, like you don't know someone's story until you hear it, and so I'm I'm super happy about that and I will be sharing that with everybody soon.
Amy Boyle: 28:25
Well, as far as how people can reach out to you, clearly we have listeners that are already aware of the woman who walks the beach and talks about things, so that is awesome to me, because I love finding the through line in life and it was just such an aha moment for me to go. I need to re-reach out to Megan, so I'm so glad to be sitting here today having this conversation with you. And how can the rest of the listeners find more about you?
Megan Murphy: 28:52
So I know that you're going to have the links here. After there's the kindness rocks projectcom, there's also heard h e r d storytellingcom, and also I gave Amy a link to Megan Murphy coaching, which is another one of my websites, because I also take women on safaris to Africa. I've been four times in the past two years and they're all women's trips and they're really lovely. So whether you have a husband or spouse that doesn't want to travel and you have this bug, you know or you're newly single and you want to travel with other like-minded women, you can find information about those trips there as well.
Amy Boyle: 29:33
All that will definitely be linked and I really appreciate you making the time to have the conversation today. It was so good to reconnect and I can't wait to keep on sharing all the good things that you're up to.
Megan Murphy: 29:46
Yay, thank you so much for having me.
Amy Boyle 3: 29:49
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Speaking of Phenomenal. Be sure to subscribe, rate, review and even share the podcast, as well as stay tuned for more inspiring conversations. Remember each and every one of you is capable of extraordinary things. Until next time, take care and remember you are phenomenal.
