In today's episode explore the rich themes of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mindfulness, all within the framework of Islamic teachings.
What does it mean to have your mind work in your favor? How do evolved Muslim women handle feedback, rude comments, and the challenges of balancing career with religious beliefs? Discover how an evolved mindset influences not just personal and spiritual development, but also how we interact with the world around us.
From discussing real-life scenarios to unveiling strategies for creating an evolved brain, this episode is packed with insights that promise to transform the way you think, feel, and act. Tune in to learn how to align your personal growth with ethical living and deepen your connectedness to Allah SWT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
In today's episode explore the rich themes of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mindfulness, all within the framework of Islamic teachings.
What does it mean to have your mind work in your favor? How do evolved Muslim women handle feedback, rude comments, and the challenges of balancing career with religious beliefs? Discover how an evolved mindset influences not just personal and spiritual development, but also how we interact with the world around us.
From discussing real-life scenarios to unveiling strategies for creating an evolved brain, this episode is packed with insights that promise to transform the way you think, feel, and act. Tune in to learn how to align your personal growth with ethical living and deepen your connectedness to Allah SWT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Asar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:
The idea for today's podcast came in a very peculiar way. I recently went out for coffee with some of my local fellow coaches and when I say coffee, I don't drink coffee and I was fasting, so it was more like I was watching them eat and we were exchanging ideas and worked out good, because when I wasn't focusing on food and eating with etiquette, I was more attentive to the ideas they were sharing. These women are super nice, accomplished and I had a lot of fun. One is a weight loss coach, the other one is a parenting coach. One of them is a coach for professional women in their 50s. It was incredible hanging out with them, but one of them talked about her friend, who she referred to as an evolved human being, and it got me thinking. What does that term mean, evolved human? What does it mean to her? What does it mean to me? What does an evolved human look like? Is there a difference in how an evolved Muslim woman would define herself versus a non-Muslim woman? All these questions rushed into my head and eventually I started to come up with all sorts of answers, and it was one of those things. When I revisited this question after the meeting, a stream of thoughts came into my head, alhamdulillah, and it was so profound for me because, in my quest to answer what an evolved Muslim woman looks like, acts like or thinks like, I came up with strategies that I was already implementing in my life, but I wasn't consciously aware of them, and I'm always tweaking the application of these evolved strategies to elevate my own consciousness. This term evolved is a hot phrase in the self-help world and, like I said in me just asking this question, I had gained a lot of clarity in the ideas that I'm going to share with you today, inshallah, as per usual, it is my intention that the way I articulate the concept for you of an evolved Muslim woman, it will be transformational for you.
Speaker 1:
So what is an evolved human being? There's biological evolution, cultural and social evolution, but what I'm talking about here is about personal and spiritual development In this realm. An evolved human being is someone who has achieved a high level of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, all with an Islamic perspective that focuses on personal growth and ethical living and a sense of connectedness with others in the world and, ultimately, a connectedness to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. But the best way I describe what an evolved Muslim woman is, she is someone whose mind works in her favor majority of the time. And what do I mean by that? Let me give you some examples to help me explain this.
Speaker 1:
Let's say your boss gives you feedback. If you think, why is my boss always picking on me? I can't do anything right as a result of that thought, you'll feel hurt, defensive, frustrated, and the way you'll act will be maybe you'll snap back with a sharp comment or sulk for the rest of the day, ignoring the suggestions and being just generally disengaged and carrying that energy home. Even With the sum of these actions, you create no possibility that the feedback could improve you. This is your brain working against you. But an evolved woman who has a brain working in her favor most of the time receives the same feedback from her boss or company and could think I think they're trying to help me. This feedback could help me grow. What can I learn from this? As a result, you might initially feel surprised at your own reaction, but then curious and open to improvement and the action you will take out of curiosity is thank her for her feedback, ask for more specific examples if needed, make a plan to implement changes, but you will remember that the ultimate guidance only lies with Allah. You will pray for guidance to create abundant opportunity for growth and improvement in your life, not only professionally, but personally and spiritually. With this type of thought process, you have created a favorable outcome. The brain has worked in your favor, where not only did you learn from the feedback, but you improved your future outcome. The way your brain interprets things is not how things are transpiring in the world. You can direct and redirect your brain to think in a way that serves you. Now, if you want to leave your job begrudgingly, then you're welcome to think that your boss is always picking on you. You are allowed to think all of those thoughts, but which thoughts you adopt and believe, please choose them with awareness. If you want to leave the job, you can do it begrudgingly or you can do it amicably. Then you can also think this is not the right fit for me. I am doing both of us a favor by phasing out of this company, because this is the difference between an evolved Muslim woman versus someone who is always the victim of her job.
Speaker 1:
Another example is if, let's say, you're dealing with a rude comment in public, an unevolved response from a brain who is not working in your favor would think who does this person think they are? They can't talk to me like that. You feel angry, enraged. Other times you might internalize the rude comment and feel embarrassed as a result. If you're angry, you'll shout back, make rude comments and then let your anger boil over for hours. In this case, you prove the critic right. If you're embarrassed and you've internalized their criticism, then you'll act like you've accepted yourself as a subpar human being. Either way, your mind is working against you.
Speaker 1:
An evolved response to the rude comment could be maybe they're having a bad day? I shouldn't take this personally. You can even have a brief flash of anger Then. Otherwise, you'll have vigilance to stand up for yourself or even empathy for the other person, and from vigilance you'll create safety, making stand up for yourself or even empathy for the other person. And from vigilance you'll create safety, making sure that there is no immediate threat to you. You will assertively tell them to mind their own business, calling out racism, being assertive in your stance and showing up as an unapologetic Muslim. But if your brain goes the empathic route, you can smile, possibly offer a kind word, move on without letting it affect you or your peace of mind. Let it roll off your back. Maybe you reflect on Prophet Muhammad's patience during adversity and ask Allah to help maintain your calm and believe that Allah will reward you for the mitigation of the situation.
Speaker 1:
Both the unapologetic and the empathic response in this case are evolved. One is not better than the other. You can choose which one suits you best in a situation, but either way, the result you create is that you deal with the situation with your values intact, without being derailed or oppressed. Either way, you do not become the victim of the rude behavior. This is an evolved response, something you choose, something that actually does not come naturally. What comes naturally is the default response, the unevolved response.
Speaker 1:
I always tell you guys that, as a human, you are always operating from two brains. You are living with the dichotomy of the two brains. The primal, lower brain this is the one that reacts without thoughtful consideration, based on survival instincts and immediate emotional upheavals. This is the one that reacts without thoughtful consideration, based on survival instincts and immediate emotional upheavals. This is the default out-of-the-box setting. This is the nafs. This is what the voice of the kareen, the personal devil, or the jinn that whispers wassafas to every human being. Nafs is what it uses as an anchor to grab a hold in you as a human being. Shaitan urges humans to become unevolved and stay there, using the nafs, urging them towards impulsive, misguided actions. Evolved brain this is your higher thoughtful response brain. It represents the reflective and considerate responses that align with your higher long-term spiritual values and goals. Reaching this station requires energy and work because you're born with the uninvolved setting. Regardless of your evolution status, your emotions will always follow your thinking. Your body will react to both your conscious and subconscious thoughts.
Speaker 1:
What I see a lot in my coaching is examples like balancing career and religious beliefs. As a Muslim woman working in a corporate setting or any setting to earn monetary income, you might have unrecognized struggle with the demands of constant networking and self-promotion to climb the career ladder, feeling conflicted about whether these actions compromise your religious value of modesty. If you've ever find yourself asking questions like am I being too forward? Is it really okay with my beliefs? Before you speak to somebody about your accomplishments and you're always pausing before you speak to someone about your accomplishments or when you sit down to update your CV, you're always considering and reconsidering how much can you talk about your accomplishments? Or if you have to prove that you're a published author to get into the next rank in your academic career, but you can't really do that because this counts as self-promotion. If this creates a conflict for you, it's most likely an unevolved response, because it is keeping you from progressing. Asking these questions and remaining open to curiosity to get your answers that's the evolved response.
Speaker 1:
Unevolved response would be to low-key believe that networking is self-promotion and, by extension, self-pride. That's what sabotages your careers. These hidden beliefs is what sabotages your career. Or if your family points out to you that you seem to be neglecting your religious duties while pursuing your career instead of focusing on improvement, you take their comments as an insult, telling them or just even thinking to yourself. They don't know how hard you have it. You're an ambitious, go-getter person. You will make time for religion when the time is right. It is an unevolved response. This is your brain working against you. Right, it is an unevolved response. This is your brain working against you.
Speaker 1:
Anything that moves you away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, especially the obligatory acts of worship, is an unevolved response. Or when you're managing a household and you feel stressed when the plans you make fall through. An unevolved response would be thoughts like nothing ever works out. Why do I even bother planning? Nobody else cares about helping me. You feel overwhelmed or hopeless and you act in a manner where you complain to your family, blame others for chaos or possibly give up trying to organize anything. The sum of these actions is that you ensure that things don't work out. Evolved response in this case could be that you think okay, this is just a test of my patience. What's the best way forward? And with that you quickly move into curiosity. You might have felt stressed by default response, but with curiosity you quickly shift into problem-solving mode and you act calmly. Gather the family to discuss a plan, suggest alternatives, ask for help. Gather the family to discuss a plan, suggest alternatives, ask for help. Maintain a supportive attitude towards others, but mostly and above all, you maintain a supportive attitude towards yourself. This proves to you that, while this organization might have been hard, you've passed this test because now you're closer together in your family ties, learning and the growth process, and improving in your planning proves that this is an evolved response. When you are in fight and flight mode, your higher faculties are turned off. You cannot act evolved unless you train yourself ahead of time.
Speaker 1:
An evolved Muslim woman is who chooses her response, who trains her brain to work in her favor. You, as an individual Muslim woman, carry a set of beliefs that shape how you perceive others. If you believe that other people are untrustworthy, you're going to interpret all ambiguous behavior as deceitful. This projection is what clouds your judgment and messes up your interactions, which is what proves your perception to be true up your interactions, which is what proves your perception to be true, because nobody likes to be thought of as deceitful. Your expectations shape your perceptions. When you anticipate a particular outcome, your mind will go to look for evidence that supports this expectation. It completely ignores, omits, deletes anything that doesn't support this expectation. This is because of a confirmation bias that reinforces existing beliefs, making it hard to see the reality of the situation clearly.
Speaker 1:
As an evolved Muslim woman, it is your responsibility to acknowledge the subjectivity of your perceptions. As an evolved Muslim woman, you understand that your immediate thoughts about a situation might be more reflective of your internal state than the objective truth. Just with this recognition, you can begin to question and analyze your initial reactions before acting on them. This will have an incredibly liberating effect on your emotional life. Like when someone is angry, they might perceive neutral comments as hostile. This emotional coloring distorts your understanding and leads to miscommunication and conflicts.
Speaker 1:
If you're just starting out in this path of evolution, your job is to recognize subjectivity of your experience. Do your best to separate your opinion from objective reality. Use this to recognize, then to train your brain to work in your favor. And, above all, the highest form of evolution is submission to Allah. True submission involves acknowledging your limitations and turning to Allah for guidance, which you can only do if you're using your evolved higher brain, because the ego or the nafs will tell you that you've got everything figured out. Ego will say what you are saying is a fact, what you're thinking is a fact, and then there's no need for growth or improvement. Just the mere act of submission to Allah is a high form of evolution, because this is not passive. It is a conscious, deliberate decision that we make every day alhamdulillah to trust and to rely on divine wisdom. And then you work to align your actions with spiritual values rather than active, impulsively. Align your actions with spiritual values rather than active impulsively. All of this requires conscious attention and redirection.
Speaker 1:
Evolution to the next level of growth is an ongoing process. Sometimes you fall back to the primal urges and sometimes you don't. This continuous self-improvement is the process of this Giyah, and it doesn't matter how many times or how severely you've fallen into your default pattern or how many times you've mistaken your perception as objective reality. What matters is if you're willing to do this work consciously and continuously. With that, I pray to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Speaker 1:
O Allah, the most merciful, the all-knowing, guide me and all of us on the path of self-awareness. Help me to evolve in my perceptions, in my faith and my actions. O Allah, grant me the clarity to see beyond my immediate perceptions. Teach me, through Islam, how to respond to the world around me with a heart full of grace and a mind guided by your light. Allow me to grow through my experience. Empower me to embody the qualities of an evolved Muslim woman who is always within your infinite mercy and blessings. O Allah, make this nation an evolved nation. May our journey be filled with your guidance and may our actions reflect the beauty of Islam. Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, please keep me in your du'as. I will talk to you guys next time.
