Back-to-School Success: Tips, Tools, and Setting a Supportive Environment

Welcome aboard the back-to-school express! As we embark on this exciting journey, I'm joined by the talented educator and speaker, Erin Tarr, to lend us a compass and a flashlight, guiding us to a successful school year. With us, your family is in safe and knowledgeable hands, all set to navigate the school year.

We kick off our journey by laying the platform of healthy sleep habits. It's the fuel that keeps the engine of our kids' growth running smoothly. Erin enlightens us on the importance of good sleep, from blackout curtains to white noise, and how a consistent sleep schedule can be a game changer for our kids. Transitioning to our next stop, we put on our explorer hats and journey through the landscape of digital resources available to our young scholars. With apps like PhotoMath, Canvas Parent, Khan Academy, and Duolingo, homework and organization become less daunting tasks and more of exciting quests.

Moving forward, we handle the tough terrains of bullying, and provide tools to help you spot the signs and empower your children with empathy. We further delve into the art of setting boundaries, and the balance of support and effective communication with teachers. Keeping kids motivated is imperative; buckle up as we unravel the magic of different incentives and how communication helps decode what works best. As we approach the end of our journey, Erin and I focus on the unsung heroes of our kid's lives—their teachers. We discuss simple ways to show gratitude and appreciation to these extraordinary individuals. Finally, we welcome listeners once again to join our sponsorship challenge for kids in Haiti.

So, come along for this knowledge-packed journey, fill your backpacks with tips and tricks, and let's make this school year a resounding success!


Holly's Highlights challenge:
There are 90 students needing an educational scholarship of just $20 per year. Would you be one of those to help a haitian child receive an education in hopes of completing high school? Donate today at https://nkchristian.givingfuel.com/give. Check out the progress of students sponsored on my social media. Our goal is to help every student be sponsored by September 5, 2023.

Thank you to our sponsor:
This program is sponsored in part by Murdock Financial. An affiliate of Equitable Advisors LLC New York New York, and equitable network LLC.


Connect with Erin Tarr:
Instagram: @erintarrspeaks
Website: www.erintarr.com

Related Episodes:

Season 4 Episode 17: 10 Things Students Need to Know

Season 4 Episode 16: Igniting Hope: Reviving Haiti’s Struggling Education System

Season 2 Episode 29: Parenting Kids’ Screen Time

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi friends, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast designed to encourage, inspire and equip you to intentionally live your life full of purpose. I'm your host, holly Kirby, motivational speaker, leadership cultivator, marketing strategist and personal cheerleader. Let's check out today's highlight. This program is sponsored in part by Murdoch Financial, an affiliate of Equitable Advisors LLC, new York, new York, and Equitable Network LLC.

Speaker 1: 0:32

Well, I don't know about you, but my kiddos headed back to school yesterday. It's kind of a mix of excitement, like we crossed the finish line and yet, at the same time, sad, as I love being with my kiddos and yet also it's the beginning of a marathon, so to speak, as we try to try to head back and getting our kids set up for success right in their entire school year. It's not just sitting back and starting, but trying to predict the whole entire year all at once. So, as we conclude our back to school series, from counting our blessings for our education, as we learned of the many challenges and obstacles the students and teachers in schools in Haiti face, that we discussed in I think that was season four, episode 16, just two episodes ago and then we unpacked 10 things that every student needs to know as they head back to school in last week's episode. Well, it seemed only appropriate that we have something for you parents. So today we're going to focus on tips for parents on how to truly set our kids and ourselves let's face it up for success this school year, and to do that we have a special guest, erin Tarwood.

Speaker 1: 1:37

That's today. Erin is an educator at Central Illinois Business Magazine's Forty Under 40 recipient and an in-demand facilitator and keynote speaker for schools. She speaks to empower teens and tweens to develop successful habits, to be wise in their social media usage, build friendships, nurture family relationships and pour into their mental health overall. Welcome, erin. We are so honored to have you. It's great to be here today, holly. Thank you for welcoming me, of course. So for most of us, our kids have now started back to school and, whether we were prepared or not, what are some initial tips that you might have for us, as parents, to help our kids in these first few weeks of school?

Speaker 2: 2:19

So this may surprise some people. It may not surprise some people, but my number one overarching tip, I think in life, but definitely for back to school, is sleep. Yes, sleep habits, getting good sleep, understanding what good sleep actually looks like. I think most of us are walking around sleep deprived, including our kids, because of how early school starts, because of how early it starts in the summer. So my eight year old is going to bed when it's still light outside because we've figured out how much sleep she needs and it requires her to go to bed when it's still light outside, unfortunately.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Yeah, and that's so hard for them to then hear their friends outside or just at least see the light right. We're experiencing the same thing my son right now. He just finished the week prior an optional leadership course, so to speak, where he was going to be prepared and welcoming all the new sixth graders, and it was such a headache each night of trying to back up an hour each night of okay, that wasn't enough sleep, okay, that wasn't enough sleep, and I think our pediatrician was saying like eight to 10 hours to sleep for teenagers, or even the twins, something like that.

Speaker 2: 3:27

Absolutely For middle school. I Google it at least once a month because when my kids start to have any type of anxiety, depression, moodiness, this, that or the other that's not in relation to my girls' cycles then I'm like, okay, it must be a sleep issue. And nine times out of 10, I'm right. I'm like let's just sleep back 15 minutes, let's see if 15 more minutes would help, let's see if 20 to 30 more minutes would help that type of thing. The book why we Sleep by Matthew Walker was a game changer for me personally, for my own sleep habits and as well as how I continue to instill them in my kiddos, because ultimately we know we're getting enough sleep when we don't need an alarm clock to wake up.

Speaker 1: 4:10

Yes, oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. Any tips on how to get to sleep? I mean, there's some things that we hear about no electronics in the room and so forth, but how can we actually doze off?

Speaker 2: 4:21

Blackout curtains, for sure, white noise is really helpful. People don't realize how much temperature comes into play. We want to save on that energy bill, right? So we don't want air conditioning in the summer, but we sleep so much better between 65 and 70 degrees, true, and if it's above that, it's we don't sleep as well.

Speaker 2: 4:38

Like studies are showing that it's science, and so for me, I'd rather spend sometimes a couple hundred more dollars on my energy bill and make sure that my kids are getting the best sleep that they possibly can, because sleep impacts memory, it impacts mood, it impacts how much we want to eat or exercise.

Speaker 2: 4:57

So eating an exercise, we know our foundational habits, right, but our sleep. We don't realize how much of the chemicals in our brain that are processed during our sleep impact how much we want to move and how and how and what we want to eat. So it's everything. So those are like my biggest tips, and the number one thing, if we're not getting good sleep, is trying to go to bed and wake up at a consistent time within a 30 minute window, whether it's weekend, whether it's summer, whether it's whatever. As much as possible If, for extended periods of time, we can go to sleep and try to wake up within that 30 minute window on either. So it's really an hour window because it's 30 minutes on either side. But yeah, that's, the best predictors of being able to go to sleep Well and wake up well is if we're our bodies in those rhythms.

Speaker 1: 5:43

Okay, great. Now what about kind of that mid year trying to push through those mid year slums or even helping our kids finish the year strong? What tips might you have for us and supporting them there, I mean?

Speaker 2: 5:54

all of the habits that we start at the beginning of the year with the best of intentions inevitably fall off because, oh, this week's Halloween, or then it's Thanksgiving break, or then it's winter break or so, and so how to sleep over or our family got together to do this thing Like? So there's, we have to plan for interruptions, I think, is the key. So knowing when we set a habit, that we need to hold it loosely and be flexible with it and be able to, if it's something that's working well for our family, be able to revisit it and reintegrate it easily. So I think sometimes my one of my daughters, my 12 year old, she's like at the beginning of every summer, in every school year, she's like mom, god bless you, you think that we're going to become totally different people at these transition times.

Speaker 2: 6:40

She's like and guess what? We never do it. I'm like I never stopped trying Right, like we're all the same people. Even though it's summer, we're the same people and even though it's winter break, we're the same people. So figuring out what that sameness looks like for you and how to integrate those good habits and hold them loosely, because life is always, it's always going to be.

Speaker 1: 7:00

One more thing Right, yeah, that is so true, there's always something going on. Now, something that helps me to kind of start back to school is organization. I organize the entire house, every cabinet, every drawer, every closet. You get the gist of it, and this just helps me feel like we're starting a year kind of on a clean slate. So then there's a, of course, the organization of my son's school binder with all the file tabs marked with his classes and room numbers and, of course, the schedule glued right in the front. Because we all have that paranoia. I think all of us parents have that, that fear of our kids like for getting where their classes are and being embarrassed or whatever, so trying to set them up there. But any other organization type tips you could share with us that help them as well as us as parents, just get organized as we head back to school.

Speaker 2: 7:44

Absolutely. I think one of the things that most parents need to realize is that our kids are not necessarily going to be carbon copies of us. So for the things that work for me are not necessarily the things that are work for my 15 year old or my 12 year old or my eight year old, and so I think, giving them the freedom to change what's not working, so we should definitely start them off with our strategies. Absolutely, that is how we, that is how we teach them, that is how we grow them, that is how they develop great habits and, as we see, if those strategies are things that they cannot maintain, holding again those with flexibility. I work with a lot of neurodivergent teams and their parents are like, well, I can't. Just, you know, I've set it up for them, I've made it easy for them. Why can't they just maintain it? And it's like their brain works a little differently. So, yeah, so that's not going to be the thing that works for them.

Speaker 2: 8:36

For me, I love Post-it notes and alarms. Those are my go to, because I'm a little neurodivergent too, and so visual reminders and audio reminders help me to organize what needs to happen. So In the mornings we wake up pretty easily because sleep has been a value that we've held very strongly. Sometimes, still getting out the door on time is tricky. It's like, well, we've been awake for an hour, we've had plenty of time to do all the things that need to happen. Using alarms to organize our life to be like I love Google Home. I say Google Home, set an alarm that goes off at 7.35 every day to leave the house. Then we know, oh my gosh, we should be out of the door by now. If we're not, let's hurry, or whatever. Those are just little things.

Speaker 2: 9:23

The Post-it notes serve as those same reminders, visual reminders for what's next, what can be helpful, whether it's a checklist of things on the door before you leave, inevitably there's the kid that always forgets their school ID. At our school we have to have our school ID. You can't get on the bus without it. Having just that checklist of, I know there's five things they have to do. What are they? At the beginning of the year we don't remember what the five things are. We put a Post-it note up it's my lunchbox, it's my water bottle, it's my backpack, it's my ID and it's my shoes. I don't know how they get out the door with that shoes, but sometimes they do.

Speaker 1: 9:57

My son is right there with you. We weren't driving. It's like how did you walk out of the house without shoes?

Speaker 2: 10:02

I told you to put them on. Mom. I don't know exactly. Those audio and visual reminders for kiddos, I think, is a huge helpful organization piece. Eventually they become a little more automatic. Some kids are going to need those visual reminders longer, some less, but I think they can be really helpful for everybody in the family.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Yeah, yeah, that's great. I think we just touched on this a little bit, but in a different way. My son, when he comes straight home, he doesn't want to go right to doing homework and he needs a little bit of a break. So we start with a snack and unwind with talking about his day and so forth, and then he'll sit down while I cook dinner and hammer out the homework. But what might you have of maybe some nuggets of wisdom for us in structure? So not just so much organization, but the structure.

Speaker 2: 10:51

Yes, so having a designated place and again, this is a study show this having a designated place where we do each of the things we do in our life and it makes sense for us. We're like, oh, we go to sleep in the same place, we brush our teeth in the same place, we eat in the same place. Why are we not doing homework in the same place, or whatever it is? So those are the structures that are so important for kiddos and sometimes they will resist those. So like, well, I wanna do it on my bed today, or I wanna do it here, or I can watch TV while I do my own work, or whatever. And the reality is that we need to be very singly focused and our environment needs to feel consistent and peaceful. And they actually studies actually show that we have trouble falling asleep. If the place where we do our homework or watch TV is also the place where we fall asleep, because our body remembers what are the things I do in this room. And if homework is not a totally relaxing, zen and peaceful experience, which is not, and you're doing exactly, and you're doing your homework in your room and you're later trying to fall asleep in your room, that's actually not great for your sleep. So I love the idea of someone being available to help. I know a lot of kids again, neurodivergent kids often need body doubles. They need somebody else there, not necessarily helping them with their homework, but being there so that they feel held accountable, not in a punitive way, but just in a nice way. So having those structures and having those routines can really help the kids and they show that habits good habits form in good environments.

Speaker 2: 12:16

The zone out time my kids are a classic for taking that zone out time after school and then three hours later like, oh, I have over get to do, and it's so. Again, exactly Again, with the alarms of saying how long do you need to zone out? Or how long do you need to have your snack? What do you think is a reasonable time? And just that communication back and forth of what seems reasonable, based on what you need for your body and your mind as well as the values of our family.

Speaker 2: 12:45

So we all eat dinner together. We don't, but you do so if that's a value of your family, if you all eat dinner together, then you need to be completed with whatever you're gonna do by six o'clock at night when we sit down to eat. So by the time between the time you get home at three and the home at six, what are the things you need to get done and how much time do you think makes sense for each of these? And let's work this out together, because when we're doing it together in middle school and early high school, by the time they're ready to launch out, they figured out how to do those things on their own. That's the idea.

Speaker 1: 13:14

Yes that, and I think when you're doing it together too, there's so much more buy-in.

Speaker 1: 13:17

When it's not just being told what to do, right, that's going to pull them away, but if there is the togetherness figuring out things, so there's a lot more engagement and buy-in there. Now we talk about homework and organization and structure, and I'm finding there are more and more resources that can help us and just kind of the course overall, the things that we didn't have when we were their age type thing, things like PhotoMath app that can really help break down a math problem for the students and teach them how to work such problems. Or for us parents, when we're like I have no clue how to do that, we can do that and be able to process it through. Or even Canvas parent that helps us be able to see all of their homework that needs to be turned in. So when they say, yeah, I've done that, we can double check to make sure it has been done, it has been submitted. But what other apps or resources might be helpful to students and parents alike?

Speaker 2: 14:05

My favorite is Khan Academy. It's free, it's a teacher. When my kid comes home, my 15 year old is famous for using this. My 12 year old hates it, you know. So it's potato, potato per kid who knows? But, similar to the math app, they will walk you through every single thing and you can really Google. I need to figure out how to use the quadratic equation and there's three or four lessons that walk you through exactly how to use that. If your teacher is explaining in a way that doesn't make sense or if you've forgotten by the time you got home that type of thing, I think Khan Academy is amazing and it's free and that's available on the web or on their phone, so if they have a phone. I also really love Duolingo for any kids that are learning foreign languages. I don't feel like because I've done some very non-scientific studies I don't feel like if you don't speak a language, duolingo is going to get you to speak that language. That's not. You can't take.

Speaker 2: 15:03

Duolingo for a year and then be dropped in the middle of Spain and be fluent. It's not going to happen. However, it's a fabulous support for what they're already doing and it's something you can do alongside you. So one of my kids is taking French, one is in a dual language school and she's in Spanish half the day. I don't speak French or Spanish. I took both classes. I don't speak either of them, but me being able to do those with them, or having them do it where I'm in an earshot, is something that's really helpful for them and, I think, for me. So those are my two go-to resources, in addition to the family calendar, which is a little bit different kind of an app. It's not a homework help app, but it is an organization and a help. As they get older, my kids are required to put their own things on the family calendar app so that we can all see like do you have a ride? Can you get there? Will you go?

Speaker 1: 15:52

It's hard to say yeah, I think this past year that was one of the number one things I've had to really let go of and transition into is going from everything being like a wall calendar to digital. But you're so right, it helps so much when they can start putting their own things for softball and soccer and homework and all those things and then they can see what mom's doing as well and just really help incorporate everyone together. So now bringing up some of these apps just talking about apps might put a little bit of fear in some parents, as it brings to mind cell phones, right, and when we look at cell phones just the time, the usage, all of that, but then also the added risk among social media and increase in bullying. So how can we watch for signs that our child is being bullied or, worse, being the bully, and how can we help our kids through that, whether it be standing up for themselves, standing up for others or even just ensuring that they're being kind and inclusive of others around them?

Speaker 2: 16:47

Right. It is such a tricky situation because what adults see and what's actually happening are two very different things, and so the warning signs that psychologists are always going to give you is major changes in behavior, whether it's sleeping patterns, eating patterns or mood. Now, that being said, when kids are in middle and high school, you're going to see those things all the time. So there is that question of is this normal or is this something to be concerned about? And I think the biggest thing is staying connected with. We have a host of apps that are available to us, staying connected with specialists in this area and other parents to gauge is my child within normal limits? So, are they between a three and a seven of what could be considered normal? Are they on the 10 aspect? And this is out of the ordinary and I need to intervene or get professional help in this way, and Lisa DeMores' book Untangled is a great resource for this. At the end of every chapter, she says when to be concerned. Here are the times that you should be concerned, and there's one about bullying and social interaction and those types of things. So I think that's huge when your child feels like they're just becoming an entirely different person and they're not able to talk to anyone about. It doesn't necessarily mean they're going to talk to you, but they're not able to talk to either their siblings or a trusted adult friend, or when they're really shutting down. That's when you want to be careful. So one of the things I think that we really need to make sure so that our kids are not becoming the bully or even perceived as the bully, is really teaching empathy.

Speaker 2: 18:28

How do we empathize with all of the people in our life? It is our go-to, our mama bear instinct to protect our kiddos and someone's being mean or someone's not doing something. And I feel blessed enough that I was proactive in my parenting in this area to recognize when I had those mama bear gut instinct feelings and then also be able to pause and think OK, wait, my kid is in a safe space, they are supported and loved. And what's happening to this kiddo who is giving them a hard time? Is that kiddo in a safe space? Is that kiddo feeling supported and loved? Is that kid even have nutrition first thing in the morning? Maybe not.

Speaker 2: 19:07

And so how do I help teach my child without feeling sorry for the person? It's not about pity, it's about empathy. They were all coming from a different place and that does not give them a right to treat you in a certain way. You still need to develop your own resilience and your own understanding, but it gives you a sense of grace and just love for others that is going to pay off dividends in the long run. So I am so grateful that whatever wisdom came to me, that I was able to teach that to my kids from an early age. So we use the phrase kill them with kindness very gently in this house, because I don't even like that term to be said in that way. But the idea behind it of like if someone's hurting you, it's because they're hurting, yes. And how do you find ways to encourage and empower them? Because everybody is worthy of encouragement and empowerment, even when they're not doing the right things. I absolutely 120 million percent believe everyone's doing the best they can.

Speaker 1: 20:13

Yes.

Speaker 2: 20:13

Each kiddo in your class, regardless of how hard they're making life for the teacher or for you or for anyone else. They are doing the absolute best they can with the tools and the resources that they have and when you can realize that and then figure out how to conduct yourself with boundaries and accountability and not letting people walk all over you but at the same time hold them gently. Man, if we all teach our kids that, the rest of this conversation doesn't even matter.

Speaker 1: 20:39

There you go, there you go, and I think you just touched on something very important too, and that is boundaries. So, whether it be for cell phones or screen time, or playing with friends, or bedtimes, chores, healthy eating, study habits, all of that that we've already been discussing, what are some boundaries that we, as parents, should be aware of setting or at least give consideration to, and efforts of setting our kids up for success?

Speaker 2: 21:02

Absolutely so. I love Brene Brown's definition of boundaries what's OK, what's not OK and why. And those boundaries are going to constantly be in flux for a lot of reasons because we are changing, our kids are changing, our circumstances are changing and I think for, like, one of our boundaries in our house is everybody's phone is plugged in in the kitchen before bed. That has to do with our values of sleep. So that's the why. I'm not setting an arbitrary rule or boundary. I am communicating to our family. Sleep is a value of this family. We know that not having electronics in the bedroom is what helps encourage sleep and this is a boundary that makes sense for our family. If, at some point, that no longer makes sense for our family, we will communicate about that. We will have relationship about that.

Speaker 2: 21:50

I am not a big fan of rules. I'm a big fan of communication about what's okay, what's not okay and why. The why is so important, especially as our kids get into the teen years. Prior to the age of like 10, our kids think we hung the moon and, even though they might get mad at us, they just believe that we've got it figured out around the age of 11 and 12. They're like, oh, maybe mom and dad don't have it all figured out. So what's going on, you know, and that's where the why becomes very important and that's where the conversation, the communication and the mutual respect becomes very important to setting those boundaries as a family.

Speaker 2: 22:28

What makes sense for our family, what's okay for our family, even though it's not okay for the next door neighbors, or what's not okay for our family even though it's okay for the next door neighbors? Or everybody has a phone, mom. You know everybody's doing this, everybody's doing that. You know a boundary for our family. We don't do sleepovers. We don't do sleepovers for a variety of reasons, and that's a boundary that my kids just know and do they always love it? Do they always like it? No, and do they always understand why? Absolutely. And do we have the mutual respect and communication that helps make that boundary, make them feel safe 100%?

Speaker 1: 23:04

Yeah, yeah, oh, I can sort of let it with you there. One of our boundaries has been not to have cell phones until high school. And you know what? I honestly am not sure I was on board with it even at the beginning of high school, but there at least for us, there's so many things. They don't get their schedule unless it's on Instagram for you know, softball and things like that. There's sports and different ways of communication of where they're meeting up for those sports, like last minute it's on Snapchat. It's like why, why are we using all this? I know right.

Speaker 1: 23:30

But, yeah, my kids are all the time. Well, they have a cell phone and they're five years old. Well, I'm not their mother. So you're so right that it's going to look different for each family and that's important. That's important to explain those, those whys, to them, absolutely. Now let's talk incentives and motivators.

Speaker 1: 23:49

Sometimes, you know, there's just that burnout, or sometimes it's even. You know, my son went to school the very first day of kindergarten, came home and and I was like how's your day? And I'm all excited. And he's all excited it was great. I'm like wonderful. And he's like I'm all done For the day. And he's like no, I don't ever have to go back. And and he literally the first day of school thought check, like he had gone to school and he's done. And little did he realize at the time. You know, 12 more years would follow that. So what are some incentivizations and motivators we can use to help kids? And just continuing to press on and develop some of those good work ethics, so to speak, of just sticking through with something to and doing their best, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 24:36

I think when kids know that the end goal is bigger than than the small goal, that gives them a sense of contributing to something bigger than themselves. I think we as adults work for our own sense of accomplishment. We have a lot of internalized goals that come to us, but we also work for a paycheck. We have both and and I think there's not one carrot per se that I think is effective for all students I think really getting to know what is the personality style of my child so we do. I'm huge into personality styles of all types, because I just think it helps us to know ourselves and helps us to know others, and recognizing that each kiddo is going to have things, that some kids are going to go to school because they love seeing their friends. Some kiddos are going to go to school because they love seeing their teachers. Others they just think that school lunch is the best things in sliced bread or you know the after school activity that they get to do or whatever, and communicate. I think again it comes back to communication and relationship of what is it for you, buddy? And every kiddo has something. Every kiddo has something. And if they don't, that is again when it's a reason to worry, like if they're like no, there's absolutely no reason to go to school, that's a reason to worry because that means that internally, they just don't feel a drive for anything. So, figuring out what is the things that help drive them and how do we help them see how the other parts play into that. At the same time, I'm very realistic about you know what? I don't think you everyone should have to learn calculus. I think I have. No, I have no help for you there, except that I know that you want to go to college and I know that most colleges expect this. Do I think that's right? Do I think it's fair? Do I think it's just no? And I think that if you do the things that you think are needed now, you can help change that system, if that's what you want.

Speaker 2: 26:52

Ultimately, I feel like every individual is created for a specific purpose. I think it's our job as parents to help them figure out what that purpose is. Part of that is going to school and finding out what's awesome about school and what stinks about school. Being honest with them being like I get it. I didn't work the third grade either, for whatever reason. That wasn't my grade, yet I made it through and what can you learn from this and how can we be resilient together? It's less about one specific. I'm going to give you ice cream at the end of every Friday if you make it through the day. It's much more about cultivating the person that they want to be and helping them see who they can be when they are able to think critically about what motivates them and why.

Speaker 1: 27:43

Yeah, so true. Now you touched on a keyword there that you mentioned, and that is teachers. I think it would be a remiss if we didn't take a moment to at least think about our teachers and how we can encourage and support and set them up for success too. Suggestions on how to realistically do that. Not all of us are Pinterest talent, nor do we have the Pinterest time. What can that look?

Speaker 2: 28:05

like Honestly, when teachers know that you can and my background is in education, so I've worked with a lot of teachers and when teachers know that you care and that you support and that you, it's the same thing as like you don't want to get the call home that you know Johnny was misbehaving today. You want to get the call home that you know Johnny's been a really good friend this week and I'm really impressed. Teachers need the same thing. They do not need to hear from us when things are not going well. If they haven't heard from us when things are going well, how do we tell them? We really appreciate you know that you're just there for our kid. We really it's finding the light in everyone, right, because as someone whose background is education, I can be highly critical of educators and what I feel like oh, that's not going right or I don't like that or whatever. And I still get to find the light and the good in every single person and highlight that for them. Because can you imagine being in a class for six hours a day with 20 kids or more all day, every day, and then dealing with the administration and the parents and the other teachers? Like the dynamics in a school are different than any other corporation or business or whatever that you have and you can say that about any business and these are the ones that are tasked with nurturing and protecting our children each and every day. So I cannot imagine a more worthy endeavor than to set an alarm on our own phone, whether it's once a week, once every other week, to say, can I send a nice email to one of her teachers, Can I shoot off a text? Can I buy her a Starbucks? Because you know what, even if teachers don't drink Starbucks, or you know, whatever the coffee choices or whatever, the fact that you thought of them is what brings it and you know what.

Speaker 2: 29:51

I honestly I kind of downplay the winter holiday teacher stuff and the teacher appreciation week stuff because I'm like that's called love bombing and that is like not appropriate. And God bless him. I'm glad somebody, I'm glad they get them Don't don't get me wrong and I want to be the parent that's not just showing up to love bomb those two weeks out of the year. I want to be the parent that's like I get that these kids are hard and I get that you're doing the best you can and I so appreciate that and just little, small ways as often as possible. And God bless the Pinterest moms. I'm not one of them either, but also that's a lot of stuff and a lot of time and I'm like you know what I think an email that is appropriately timed could be so true.

Speaker 1: 30:38

My mom was a teacher for over 25 years elementary. She mainly did kindergarten and first grade and I think one of the things that you mentioned on the Starbucks gift card is so true with her and that is she was so grateful for just like the spontaneous gift card to McDonald's or ice cream Baskin Robbins gift shop, something like that to where after a hard day and she'd often use them on Fridays, you know the end of the week, I finally made it, I survived. All the kids are alive. She would use one of those to go get herself a you know sweet tea or her favorite ice cream or something like that.

Speaker 1: 31:12

So I think that's so true, just having something that can be a pick me up for them also and then even helping in the classroom perhaps I know high school, middle school, that opportunity just isn't there, but elementary school it seems to be something that's really appreciative of just being present and helping some things. But I like that, the setting your alarm or whatever resource you need to use to be able to reach out and just send a text or a note or something to tell them Good job, we see you. I think that's the biggest thing and I think we all want that in any of our jobs of just I see you right Just to be seen and noticed and acknowledged for the effort and what we're putting into what we're doing. So I think that's a great point. Now, erin, here on Holly's highlights, we have a signature question and that is if you could go back and encourage, equip, inspire yourself as a child, what would you tell?

Speaker 2: 32:03

your young self. So you gave me this question ahead of time and I wrote a lot of things just in the moment, thinking like what is all of the things and what are the? The moments that I wish I done differently, or this, that are the other. And as I wrote it out, I'm like OK, there has to be an overarching theme here, and my overarching theme is this Stay curious, keep asking questions. The the times that I thought I had it together or thought I knew what I was doing or really was just so certain are the times that didn't necessarily work out as well in my favor, whereas I would have just investigated a little more, asked a few better questions, ask of myself or of someone else. Right, erin? Why are you feeling this way, erin? What could you do to make this better? You know being proactive with myself, but also then, towards others. You know not being afraid to ask this questions and just staying curious. I think it's a lifelong endeavor and habit and only produces better things in our life when we, when we maintain it.

Speaker 1: 33:06

Absolutely Well said, Erin. Thank you so much for taking time to join us today. This has been fabulous and I'm sure our listeners will want to learn more from you. So where or how can they connect further?

Speaker 2: 33:17

with you If you're on Instagram, at Aaron Tarr speaks, I post it real every day, which is a short 90 second or less little tidbit of something that I'm working on a client with or I'm working on myself, or that I just think is good things that we need to consider as we're continuing on our self growth journey, which, if you're a parent, you are on a self growth journey Absolutely Every day.

Speaker 1: 33:41

Well, listeners, remember, we have one more week for the opportunity to invest just $20 and providing the entire year's tuition for one child and Haiti, with our goal being 90 kids who are in need of sponsorship. So, again, I encourage you to be a part of that impact and going to nkchristiancom that's nkchristiancom Selecting give. Then, in the dropdown menu, select to sponsor a child and donate your one time gift of $20. Easy as that to provide a year of education for a child in Haiti. So won't you join us in each one, for each one this year? Well, join us next time as we find out how we did on the sponsorship challenge for the kids in Haiti and, until then, have a great start as you and yours head back to school.

Speaker 1: 34:22

Thank you for joining me on this journey of life. I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging, inspiring and equipping so you can go out and live your life full of purpose. I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a review or, better yet, subscribe. We can also stay in touch by joining my email list at hollycurbycom. That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom. Until next time, make it a great day for a great day.