Help Yourself!
From Spicy Almonds to Personal Growth
Ever wondered why Dwayne Johnson might be the perfect snack mascot? Join us for a playful feast of conversation as Bryan and Nick kick things off with some lighthearted banter before diving into their latest snacking escapades. From Bryan's surprising encounter with Trader Joe’s spicy Thai lime and chili almonds to Nick’s delicious meal featuring Monterey-spiced chicken and Kerrygold butter potatoes, this episode of "Food, Philosophy, and Snacking_tacular" is packed with tasty tidbits and health insights. Plus, don’t miss Brian’s nostalgic trip down memory lane with a Shamrock Farms strawberry protein shake that will take you back to your childhood.
Ready to be inspired? "The Man in the Arena Continuity" takes a deep dive into Theodore Roosevelt’s iconic speech, reminding us all of the importance of striving and taking action despite inevitable setbacks. We explore how every effort counts, even when things don't go perfectly. A touch of humor is added as we discuss the quirky impact of everyday sounds on our listeners, like the noise of pouring water. This segment is your motivational booster shot to keep pushing forward and engaging in life’s meaningful endeavors.
In our final chapters, "Dealing With Inner Criticism and Feedback" and "Understanding the Inner Critic," we tackle the ever-present challenge of managing criticism—from both external voices and our own inner critics. Learn how to turn that nagging internal voice into a supportive inner coach and discover strategies to combat negative self-talk. We also ponder the resilience of public figures who seem immune to widespread criticism and discuss the intriguing condition of aphantasia. By the end, you'll have practical tools to reframe your mindset, boost your self-compassion, and encourage personal growth. Tune in for a perfect blend of humor, philosophy, and actionable advice!
Ever wondered why Dwayne Johnson might be the perfect snack mascot? Join us for a playful feast of conversation as Bryan and Nick kick things off with some lighthearted banter before diving into their latest snacking escapades. From Bryan's surprising encounter with Trader Joe’s spicy Thai lime and chili almonds to Nick’s delicious meal featuring Monterey-spiced chicken and Kerrygold butter potatoes, this episode of "Food, Philosophy, and Snacking_tacular" is packed with tasty tidbits and health insights. Plus, don’t miss Brian’s nostalgic trip down memory lane with a Shamrock Farms strawberry protein shake that will take you back to your childhood.
Ready to be inspired? "The Man in the Arena Continuity" takes a deep dive into Theodore Roosevelt’s iconic speech, reminding us all of the importance of striving and taking action despite inevitable setbacks. We explore how every effort counts, even when things don't go perfectly. A touch of humor is added as we discuss the quirky impact of everyday sounds on our listeners, like the noise of pouring water. This segment is your motivational booster shot to keep pushing forward and engaging in life’s meaningful endeavors.
In our final chapters, "Dealing With Inner Criticism and Feedback" and "Understanding the Inner Critic," we tackle the ever-present challenge of managing criticism—from both external voices and our own inner critics. Learn how to turn that nagging internal voice into a supportive inner coach and discover strategies to combat negative self-talk. We also ponder the resilience of public figures who seem immune to widespread criticism and discuss the intriguing condition of aphantasia. By the end, you'll have practical tools to reframe your mindset, boost your self-compassion, and encourage personal growth. Tune in for a perfect blend of humor, philosophy, and actionable advice!
Welcome to Help Yourself Food and Philosophy with Brian and Nick. I'm Nick and I'm Brian. Casting Dwayne Johnson in this day and age is a bold decision, but casting the Rock, that's a bolder decision.
Speaker 2:What you eating, Brian. I didn't see it coming. I was like I was trying to figure it out. It's a boulder. How. I didn't see it coming. I was like I was trying to figure it out, it's a boulder.
Speaker 1:How did you not see it coming?
Speaker 2:I like, literally, was like where's he? I'm like trying to figure it out before you said it, and then you said it and I was. It was out of left field for me, so that was good, it was good I like it all right.
Speaker 2:So I am in snack mode right now. Um, I so, for all those people out there that have trader joe's near them, if you like nuts and you like things like different flavored nuts and things like that, trader joe's is like the best because, first of all, they're, I think, like way less expensive than other Places convenience stores and supermarkets alike. And so, anyway, I was, I was munching on right now this Thai lime and chili almonds and they're really, really good, although I forgot how spicy they were. So I took my first bite and I was like coughing because it was like hit my throat the wrong way, and I think it's because, if I had to guess, I would say there's cayenne in here, but let's see, um, no, there's not, there's not, no, there's. Chili powder is one of the spicy things. I think that's the only spicy thing. They also have like Thai lime leaves, like actual little leaves, like dried up leaves, in there with it to give it a little more of a lime flavor.
Speaker 1:But really good.
Speaker 2:Thai lime is actually spicy that could be, um, but I've been trying to. I've been trying to eat more, like hand, like have when I want a snack, like have a handful of nuts or something like that, um, just because they're good for you.
Speaker 1:And I just have to be careful not to like go Glycemic index.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also not and and like Slower burn, especially if I'm like working throughout the day and I just need to grab some. I know I need to eat something, but I don't really have time to like sit down and have a meal or anything, so I just grab. You know, grab a handful. You're going to be nuts. Yeah, exactly, grab a handful, I'm going to do nuts yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, grab a handful, eat them and then I just sort of go back to working. But then what you don't realize is it's like sort of changing your blood sugar and doing all this stuff. So it's like it makes you feel like you had something to eat. Like you know, your body knows that you had something to eat, but it wasn't a full meal. But it's like sort of tied you over and I think because of the high fat content in the nuts it helps to.
Speaker 2:You know, keep them going, um yeah, it's a good sustained energy throughout the day yes, and then I also have some um, I'm not snacking on right now because the misophonia people would be going crazy uh, some garlic, uh, garlic and onion pistachios and uh, they're really, really good, but you have to take the shells off of them, of course, and they're, like I said, very flavorful and but again, they're a little bit of work, like pistachios are a little bit work, but I I feel like sometimes that helps me not eat as many of them, because it's like I'm not going to sit there and peel hundreds of them. I'm going to peel a few and then be like, okay, I'm tired of peeling these now, so I'm going to put the bag away and go back to work or whatever. So, um, so those are good as well. Um, and then, with regard to this Brian's Beverage Corner, I've got my water, which is chilled a little bit, and then I was drinking on a little protein shake. It's a Shamrock Farms protein shake.
Speaker 2:I think I've talked about it before on our podcast, but it's a pre-made refrigerated in the supermarket and they have a strawberry flavor and it tastes exactly like strawberry quick. So it's uh, it's like a, it's like a little treat, like I go back to childhood. All of a sudden, I'm, you know time travel is real and uh, there's the nostalgia in my brain goes back to childhood and drinking strawberry quick, so, and drinking strawberry quick, so. Yeah, that's basically what I'm doing. What about you? What are?
Speaker 1:you eating and drinking? I am eating chicken. It has this Monterey chicken spice mix added to it. It's cooked in just a good old chicken breast and also cooked with nutritional yeast and some hot honey. Yes. It's probably more honey than it is hot, which is fine. Just a little bit of heat goes a long way. So it's very tasty, very juicy, to go with it. As a side we've got potatoes with butter, just classic potatoes, nice, except half of them are black.
Speaker 2:I bet I can guess what kind of butter it is.
Speaker 1:It's purple potatoes. Oh okay, let's see.
Speaker 2:I bet it's Kerrygold.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Are you a soothsayer? Have you been in my house? No, I just know Dory. Dory and her obsession with Kerrygold butter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, she likes.
Speaker 2:It is good. It is good, it is good yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1:I'm sure it has a lot to do with, you know, animals being humanely treating, treated and no antibiotics and hormones, and also she's trying to uh support the motherland because she's, you know, she's irish and irish all that such and so forth.
Speaker 2:So she's just, you know, supporting that.
Speaker 1:Yep, and oh, I also have some leftover tiramisu. Oh nice. Our grocery store bakery will make tiramisu in. I say like a four person serving size, like you give four reasonable oh yeah uh-huh, yeah. So lots of times when dory sends me to the store which seems to be more and more I will come back with one of these tiramisu's. I think I'm inadvertently rewarding her for sending me to the store ah, is that everything she? Can eat she can eat tiramisu.
Speaker 2:There's no, there's no uh allergens in there, anything that she can't have some sacrifices are worth making, brian.
Speaker 1:She strives valiantly yeah I mean I'm with you on that, I'm with you on that.
Speaker 2:Like sometimes you eat stuff and you're like I know how I'm gonna feel, to feel tomorrow eating this, but I'm going to eat it anyway, right.
Speaker 1:So or drink it anyway.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly.
Speaker 1:And, speaking of beverage, all I have at this time is water.
Speaker 2:Oh, in the cow bottle. Actually behind you you have a full pitcher too. Is that water also? Or is that straight vodka bottle? Actually, behind you, you have a full pitcher too. Is that water also, or is that straight vodka?
Speaker 1:It's a pitcher of water. It's worth a thousand words, so if you would like one, you would have to. That's pretty cool. You see the bubbles, don't you? Bubbles. I'll try to pour quietly, you might hear just this dump of water. Yeah. It's because that's what I'm doing. I'm refilling my cup.
Speaker 2:If the listeners stop listening. That's exactly the reason why. It's not because we're not entertaining, it's not because we don't have something valuable to say. It's because you poured the water too loud. That's exactly why misophonia it's the word of the day right, exactly, uh, do you want to get into our topic for today?
Speaker 1:sure we want to do round two of the man in the arena it's the, I guess he. He gave it as a speech, I don't. I don't know the.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was part of a I think it was part of a larger speech. I'm gonna I'm gonna look it up right now while we're talking but, pretty sure it was um, I think it was part of a larger speech. Uh, and that's just the quote that everyone goes to. Let's see speech. Yeah, let's see what it is.
Speaker 1:It definitely covers much of the point. Arnold Bryan, you think I should read it again or we just direct everyone to the previous episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you could read it again, just so that it's so, that that way it's continuity and everyone knows that what we're working with well, it is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who never know victory nor defeat and I misspoke this who neither know victory nor defeat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it sounds good every time I hear it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It is part of a much larger speech. I've challenged myself Okay, I've challenged myself and a colleague to make reading this part of our morning routine.
Speaker 2:It gets harsher too. I was just reading some of the things man like after that.
Speaker 2:It's like he gets you know at the end of the last episode I was uh what go ahead no, go ahead no, the last episode I was talking about how at the end it's sort of a call to action, almost like calling people out like you're like a sad and timid person, or you know, basically saying like if you're not the doer, you're a cold and timid soul, you know, like that kind of. And then it goes on. The next line is shame on the man of the cultivated taste who permits refinement to develop into fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a workday world. So like, basically, you like, basically, you know that's wow, that's pretty harsh.
Speaker 1:It's like shame on you, shame on you, yeah, um, anyway, um and that part certainly doesn't feel like it's stood the test of time, as well as the rest of this yeah, either in terms of terminology or um, I don't know, attention spans yeah, and I think so.
Speaker 2:Like, one of the things we wanted to focus on today was, as I said, it's not necessarily throwing the rest of the quote out, but it is sort of going back to the top and that first line talking about it's not the critic who counts. And again we are going to talk probably a little bit about being the doer and being something that's a person of action and how you sort of what actions you can take, you know what constitutes action, all kinds of things like that, and then I think then just wrap it up, things like that, and then I think then just wrap it up. But, um, but I one of the interesting things I guess to start out with is talking about.
Speaker 2:You know, it's funny because if you say critic, you know to someone, many people in this context might say, well, that's a third party, that's a somebody outside yourself, which it can be, but you can have obviously extra critic, yeah right and you can have external people who criticize, um, or, you know, give you feedback, but also we all I won't say we all have, but most of us have an inner voice that can be critical as well, and so I feel like I want to talk about both of those contexts in today's episode. Just how do you deal with somebody outside of yourself that's giving you feedback and or criticism and or potentially positive feedback, or, uh, not positive feedback, but positive, um, constructive criticism, right, sure? Uh, also, how do you deal with inner voice, even constructive, constructive encouragement right, yeah, and go on, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think I know for me that, uh, that inner voice tends to be constantly yapping, and I think that's something that probably a lot of people deal with is just what the what are the ideas going on in your head that can lead to overthinking and, you know, paralysis, by analysis and not being a doer, you know that voice is like, yeah, don't, don't go do, just hold on, let's wait, let's try to figure something out and we'll, we'll do something eventually, but not right now, you know.
Speaker 2:And um so um, I did. I did find one article that talked about the difference between or at least it gave some kind of difference, or like compared between, an inner critic and an inner coach, and how. That you know, because, in my opinion, anything that is out there, you can either use it to your advantage or you can allow it to be detrimental, and I think that that you can use that inner voice to your advantage. But the question is how do you get to that place without becoming an egomaniac, without without becoming somebody who's like so full of themselves and so positive that they're just like I can do no wrong, you know? Um, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, um, so yeah, one of the things that said in that article, though, is talking about the inner critic, and it's it talks about that, that it where it came, you know. So, about the inner critic, and it talks about that. That where the inner critic comes from is all of the things that have happened in your life. So the inner critic comes from the baggage to some extent Painful that she talks about in this article painful early life experiences, hurtful attitude, attitudes, um, dwells on a reason why a person is not good enough and then, as as people age, uh, they unconsciously adopt and integrate these thought patterns toward themselves.
Speaker 2:So it's X, it's internalizing something that was external. So that's why I think it's very important to talk about both the external and the internal, because what this person's saying is that if you have enough people telling you on the external that eventually you might internalize that, and then now your inner voice is saying the same thing. I find it really, really crazy, by the way, some of the politicians that we have that don't seem to be affected at all by millions of people saying I don't understand, you know, they they're basically like millions of people are saying like you're terrible, or let's say half we'll say half the people are saying you're terrible, right and and they're just like huh, no, I don't know what you're talking about, like would, I mean, would they be?
Speaker 1:if they weren't immune to it? Would they be able to do their job?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. That would be very difficult. So there you go yeah, yeah, if.
Speaker 1:If there's that much negative feedback like that would crush the average mortal. But when you're a raging narcissist you can. Feedback rolls off you like a water on a duck's back. To use it Right right, yeah I don't get it, man, you're not all part of the politicians are narcissists, but I think it there's definitely a lot of overlap in that venn diagram, you know yeah this. The job is kind of made for them, or yeah, it's, it's evolved into attracting those types yeah, well, and here's that's a different topic for a different day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, here's another thing that some bullet points that this person points out with regard to the inner critic, which I think could help a listener understand whether or not they have an inner critic or not. Um, it says these are seven clues that the inner critic is talking. So one is it says things you would never say to another person. Um, it invades your thinking rather than reflecting your honest thoughts. The same thoughts reoccur as if you hear a broken record, another, another dated statement, broken record, a broken cd? We'll say that's even a dated.
Speaker 1:The same, the same thoughts over and over, like a one song playlist.
Speaker 2:Like same thoughts over and over, as if, as if you're streaming, music has to buffer over and over.
Speaker 1:Or a YouTube short, you don't flip Right, I think. So far, the only one that I think is helpful for me anyway, and identifying you know that behavior would be that repetitive, repetitive thought yeah like it's.
Speaker 2:It's on some kind of loop well, and there's the next one to me is mind is like it's very, it's very analytical.
Speaker 1:it's very analytical, it's very conscious kind of thinking and finding a legit pattern in that thought pattern. Yeah. But it's one I wouldn't recognize when I'm in the midst of having a conversation with my inner critic. Does that? Make sense Like. I couldn't use those tips or those observations to help me interrupt myself when I'm in kind of an inner critic episode. Yeah. Except that repeat, that's one that I could identify, I think pretty easily. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's all so far. I just thought I'd throw that out there. That's the most actionable one for me so far.
Speaker 2:So the next one is you know that the thought is untrue, but it doesn't leave, which I think a lot of times.
Speaker 2:that's the difficulty is that I think on a. If you really back out and you say I'm going to think about this in a purely or in as much of an independent way as I can factually, you know that that's not true. You know that the independent ways I can factually you know that that's not true. You know that the the thing you're thinking is not true, but that thought continues to enter your brain, right?
Speaker 1:So it almost like it bullies you. It repeats it so that you can't ignore it anymore. You have to believe it's true, cause it's repeated 20 times.
Speaker 2:And then just a couple more. After it criticizes or plays out worst case scenario, it follows up with phrases like get some perspective or don't be insecure. It may argue about what's in your best interest, what is realistic and practical, what protects you from harm and what will ensure the best outcome. It tricks you. And then the last one is the inner critic takes inspiration from outer critics, listen for echoes of a parent, a sibling, a boss, the agent of societal institutions or significant cultural forces such as religion, company or country. So I think yeah, I think we're none of us are mean to that, but, um, I was going to interject this, though, and before we move on from to that, like I was going to interject that, I was reading a thing recently that was they did a study in 2021, and they were. They determined that between five and 10% of people may not be have any inner voice or any inner internal monologue, and it's called the. That quality is called a fan aphantasia. A-p-h-a-n-t-a-s-i-a.
Speaker 1:Oh may also experience in front of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, aphantasia and anna durelia durelia, um, that's that. Those are the terms that are now being used to describe the absence of an auditory, auditory imagery or an inner voice, which I envy those people. They just. But at the same time, though, I can't imagine how that is, because mine is constantly like, sort of like maybe I'm not always conscious of it, but I know that it's always because every once in a while, I'll just be in the middle of the day going why do I feel so bad, like, oh, this thing is repeating in my head today for some reason. Why is doing this, you know, and um for them.
Speaker 1:So anyway, it was probably like emotion, right. Like yeah, the way they, they their, why their brain wired was such that the language circuit isn't proximate enough or didn't make enough connections. Right, language circuit right. I think I just repeated myself. The language didn't connect with the emotional circuits, right?
Speaker 2:right right but I don't know why it is, but it's crazy to me because I I can't imagine a life without that. You know, I guess it's the same thing as trying to imagine. If somebody says, oh, like, try to imagine if you were blind or if you were deaf or if you were. It's like you can't really imagine that because you're not, but you can, like you could blindfold yourself and like, okay, this is sort of what it feels like to be blind, but you sort of it's sort of not.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, and so that I don't know how, how easy it is, or I guess. I guess some people have said you could you know you try to meditate, to quiet that, that inner voice, right, Um, so theoretically you can like try to do that's. To me that's the equivalent of, like blind, putting a blindfold on Go ahead. Sorry, nick's raising his hand because I won't shut up.
Speaker 1:John Acuff has a great book about all this called soundtracks.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I remember that book.
Speaker 1:And he talks about. Whenever you have a thought, you can interrogate it, especially if you notice it, whether it's positive or negative or you're not even sure. Just something about it jumps out. Or maybe even take as an exercise to spend the day just every thought you have. Sort of question it with these three questions Is it true, is it helpful and is it kind?
Speaker 1:wow and lots of times I forget his percentages and such, and he was probably like speaking off the cuff, pardon the pun. Like maybe only half of the negative thoughts are not true, right, like a good chunk of them are not true. They're just like, like that article just said yeah, um, it's like I'm so stupid. It's like, well, no, you're not so stupid. Right, that's right. But but maybe, instead of saying that, maybe the negative thoughts is like I've never done this well and it's okay. Well, that may be true, technically, that's true. Like maybe you've just never, whatever it is you're trying to achieve, I've never done this well.
Speaker 1:And I was like, okay, well, that may be true, technically, that's true. Maybe you've just never, whatever it is you're trying to achieve, you've never been able to do it. Well, okay, fine, is that helpful? Like, is saying it that way to yourself helpful and sure you know? Yeah, you could rationalize to yourself yeah, it's helpful. I'm kicking myself in my butt, I need to give myself tough love and whatever else. Okay, I won't argue with you there. You're probably wrong, but I'm not going to argue with you there. Is it kind? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, no, no, it's not kind Right, Right. Well, um it just, you can, you can still. And then what you do to reframe is you find something you can say to yourself that does meet all three of those criteria? Yeah. Right. So it's like I haven't done this well yet, or I've gotten. I've gotten even closer at doing this thing. Well, I've gotten closer than I've ever come before. Right, that is true, it's helpful and it's kind yeah um. It's a. It's a great book he's. He references um, towards the end, zig, ziglar and he has like this sheet exercise that you can get.
Speaker 1:That's pretty cool that any challenges are. I won't spoil it because part of it is sheet exercise that you can get. That's pretty cool that he challenges on. I won't spoil it because part of it is yeah, you have to sort of read the whole book so that when he makes the pitch it has credibility and all comes together and makes sense. But hearing the punchline to the joke right away, just it doesn't make sense and it's off putting. You know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But yeah, highly recommended soundtracks. You and I are both a fan of Johnny Cuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we should see if we can get him on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was supposed to try to do that and my inner critic held me back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Like. Why do we deserve that? No, that's not kind, it's not helpful.
Speaker 1:You can't ask.
Speaker 2:You might. We deserve that. No, it's not, that's not kind, it's not helpful. You might say no or you might say yes and regret it. Yeah, exactly, that's that. Honestly, you hit on something there, that's that's.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of times that's a lot more of a fear than somebody saying no is like. They said no, like okay, well, I guess that's not happening and you just move on. But they say yes. Now you're like oh, now I actually have to like Be the person in the arena, like I've got to do, you know, be worthy of his visit, right, exactly, not like insult or, you know, have like be unprepared or whatever else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, so that this article does go on, and actually very similarly to, or similar to what you were just talking about with john acuff's book, which is, you know, this is making the comparison between that inner critic and the inner coach, and it talks about just this part of the article says the inner coach supports your efforts, motivates you to keep trying even when you're not 100 successful, encourages you to practice for success and helps you figure out what you're doing. That stands in the way, which to me sounds like a little bit like it's not exactly, but it's a little bit like exactly what you just said, which is, you know sort of dismantling what?
Speaker 1:it's not exactly, but it's a little bit exactly.
Speaker 2:It's a little bit exactly. It's slightly exactly.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm being critical.
Speaker 2:No, it's slightly exact. It's similar to meaning what.
Speaker 1:John.
Speaker 2:Acuff is proposing. There is you change, you take something, you reframe it from an inner critic to an inner coach, and those three things are the. You know the check marks of how can I reframe this? Well, make it. What do you say? Helpful, make it, uh, is it? Is it true? True?
Speaker 2:make it true make it helpful and then make it kind right. So, um, yeah, I mean really good stuff. Um, yeah, I think, uh, I think also just like. So what I've found in shutting the inner voice up is a little bit like what he talks about in the quote, which is, whenever my inner voice is really really loud, or inner critic, I should say. So it's a very critical, like, and I'm feeling down in the dumps.
Speaker 2:I realized that it's because I haven't been doing something that I need to do or that I should be doing, like there's an actionable step that I'm putting off for some reason because, for whatever reason maybe, I'm scared again, like talking about the getting the yes, or getting the thing you know, getting the positive. It's like I'm not doing it because I'm scared of the positive result that I'm going to get from doing that. Right, um, I mean, there's a lot to unpack, but you know. But basically, you know, having that change from I'm dreaming about and I'm thinking about what I should be doing, or I'm overthinking what I should be doing, that's preventing me from actually being the person in the arena, you change to the person in the arena and I find that my inner voice gets quieter. The arena and I find that my inner voice gets quieter and I find that I feel better after I'm done with the thing, whatever that incremental step is that I completed, or whatever action I took on the item that I'm trying to get done.
Speaker 2:Um, the piece that comes along with that, especially one that you've been stressing about or fretting about for quite some time and your inner voice is sort of constantly on a loop about it, like, hey, remember, brian, you got to do this. You got to. Hey, remember this, you still haven't done this yet. You still got to get that step done. Hey, you got to get that step done. Remember that step, you got to get that done. And the time that I do that, that step is not as hard as I thought it was going to be. It's not as involved as I thought it was going to be. It's not what I built it up to be. Like I don't know what I'm doing here. Oh, it's like click, click, click. Oh, hey, you know what. I figured it out. All right, I finished it. Wow, that's awesome, you know, and that sense of relief for that is because, literally that to me, for me I don't know if it does for you or other people out there, but like for me, that inner voice about that just goes away.
Speaker 1:It just goes like it. Just goes like it, just like it's almost like evaporating, you know, just like it's gone because I, I did the thing that I needed to do, right? Um, yeah, I think that is very true. I remember way back in one of our earlier episodes we were talking about I believe it was goal setting and things that for me, when I'm more sober minded, one of my best strategy for dealing with stress is to do something that addresses the stress. Yes, whatever problem is causing me stress, do something, even if it, you know, reduces the problem by one percent or makes the problem less likely or less frequent by one percent something.
Speaker 1:Just do something that will actually address the problem causing the stress, as opposed to, you know, medicating with alcohol or coffee or sweets or food or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, netflix, um, then that that actually reduces the stress, you know, it reduces the anxiety. It's like, okay, this problem is at least partially solvable. I've got some momentum, maybe I could do some more tomorrow, or do some more now, or yeah, I think there's other quotes that came to mind as I'm, as I was listening to you is, um, the first one was and I don't know who it was truly said by. It looks like there's a lot of attributions out there is do the thing and you shall have the power yeah so it's like your inner critic has nothing to stand on.
Speaker 1:It's like you can't do that you stand on. It's like you can't do that. You can't do that.
Speaker 1:But then if you go and try it anyway and do it like that's one less piece of frankly bullshit that your inner voice, can you know, try to throw in your face Right, unfortunately it's very creative and we'll come up with more, but at least you quelled that piece of false evidence. And then the other is I'm pretty sure this was Nelson Mandela. It always seems impossible until it's done. Yeah. You know there was. What was it. Was it the seven minute mile? Yes.
Speaker 1:I forget the exact number of minutes, but you know there's always some threshold, say in sports and athleticism, where, um that those records keep getting broken Right or and athleticism where um that those? Records keep getting broken, Right or right Um. There's all kinds of scientific thresholds that we thought we couldn't cross, and we end up doing so.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Um so, and the other thing like I found in my own life is my inner critic is really good at taking so like there's this, this idea that it's always impossible until it's done right it's like this has never been done before, so it's intimidating.
Speaker 1:But somehow it also manages to wiggle around the opposite in its favor, where it's like okay, this has already been done before, there's's no point in doing it. Like no inner critic, you don't get to have it both ways. Yeah, yeah, it's never been done before, so it's impossible. Fine, whatever. But you can't also say it's been done before, so it's not possible for you to do like you, or you can't do it because it's already been done. It's like right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, I mean, I think you're right, I think that and that's why I think, going back to the quote, that's why I, like you know like the quote a lot, because it basically, in a nutshell, is giving all of a you know, giving all the things you need right there, there. And I think it's hard, I think it's sometimes hard to get out of the loop. But, and and again, when you're an overthinker, you're going to overthink, you're overthinking and then you know you're going to say like, even if you tell yourself like I should go do something like actionable, um, you know you, you basically are like, okay, but what if I do that? And then this happens, and that you know it's that the overthinking continues. So that's why it's I don't want to say like you need to go do things with reckless abandon, but you sort of have to do. You sort of have to like, in essence, throw caution to the wind and be like, okay, good.
Speaker 2:Actually, a good example is getting back to what we talked about in. Well, I don't know if we talked. Did we do? I know we did how to win friends and influence people, but did we talk about how to stop worrying and start living? I can't remember. Did we do episodes about that on here? I can't remember. Wow, that shows how much I know.
Speaker 2:I know we did how to win friends and influence people. Yes, but I'll tell you this.
Speaker 2:One of the things that they say that they talk about in how to stop worrying and start living is that this exact thing is actionable items Living in daytight compartments. So don't worry about what you did yesterday. Or, excuse me, don't, yeah, don't, don't, what do they call it? Don't review or regret what you did yesterday. Or excuse me, don't, yeah, don't, don't, uh, what do they call it? Don't review or be regret what you did yesterday. Don't worry about what you're going to do tomorrow. Do what you're going to do today, like do the action items today and clear all that other stuff out. Cause part of that is I think part of it is the day after day like knowing I should have done that yesterday, I should now, now, then it's the next day and you're like I should have done that yesterday and today and then it's like, oh, I should have done that yesterday, the previous yesterday, and then that you know so it's just a building effect so it's true.
Speaker 1:There will always be new tasks to do, so do what you have now to get it out of the way and have a clean plate to work with whatever comes your way.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think you were going to talk a little bit about this too. But you know, I know I talked about us starting back at the top again, but we sort of did. But we're just trying to connect parts of this quote to other things external to the quote. But you know, the striving valiantly part, the person who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again, you know, striving valiantly to me is like go boldly, you know, go boldly forward, like so you know you've got to do it. And again that enthusiasm too, with grace and great enthusiasm. And then a couple of lines before that who strives valiantly? Both of those things to me are indicating like just do it. And, you know, go go full force into it, like even though your brain is telling you you're going to fail, even though your brain's telling you you're going to fail, even though your brain's telling you you're going to, you know, go down in a blaze of glory, go ahead and do it with enthusiasm, and do it boldly, and you know you can move forward yeah, it's um.
Speaker 1:You know you quoted yourself in the previous episode. I'll quote myself here. Your first is your worst. Yeah. You know, and yeah, you can spend hours and days trying to think about all the eventualities of your first attempt and practice and rehearse, but no matter what, you'll make mistakes. It won't be perfect. Your first attempt will not ever be perfect. Right.
Speaker 1:And that's okay. That's part of the process. So learn by doing. Though, because you spend those five hours or five days, you learn more in five minutes of doing trying trial and error than you do by five hours of analysis. We yeah, we live in our bodies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if you want proof of that, you can go listen to our first episode of this podcast and honestly I would hope that somebody would say we would improve. But I'll say this it doesn't really matter what you guys say out there, I know that me listening to myself on that first episode, I wasn't as good, I wasn't as comfortable behind the microphone. There's a lot of improvements that I've made over the time we've been doing this right and so hopefully somebody would say it was improved. But I feel like I've improved. I feel like you've improved, you know um.
Speaker 2:I feel, like we've gotten better at producing a podcast, but you know um, that's just me tooting my own horn. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:sure, and and we definitely had a lot of self-critic, inner critic analysis, paralysis going on. Before you know, we recorded a bunch of mock episodes and they'll never see a lot of day. Yeah, those are even worse than our first episode yeah, I've got them.
Speaker 2:I've got them, somewhere there are, I've got the autophiles that it's a. It's a real. That'd be a real trip down memory lane. Is this Blackmail material? Yeah, exactly yeah. I'm like oh, you're interviewing for a new job, let me just go ahead and submit this to who you're interviewing. But that was. I don't know why that took such a dark turn.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden they turned into like mean, mean Brian for a second there, just like I'm going to turn why it's like all of a sudden they turned into like mean mean brian for a second there, just like I'm gonna ruin nick's life, that's it. Well, I wonder, like, what are some ways that we can dare greatly or go with enthusiasm, like it, it's great to tell someone, just do that yeah well, be more confident, like what does that mean? How do you? Well, how does one go about?
Speaker 2:well, I think, also on that same note, is you touched on something I think it was before we were recording, but, um, when? When do you get to the point where because everything does require some thought process behind it, like, everything does require some kind process behind it, like everything does require some kind of like. Let me think about where I want to go Like and just using the simple example of what we know, which is, like starting this podcast, like we had ideas and we started beginning to do some of those things and started to do some of the actions, but at some point we just had to say we have to like record the first episode, we have to get it public, we have to do everything we need to do to like get it there where it needs to be. And so the the. My question is you know, potentially, how do you figure that part out? Like, how do you figure out when you are overthinking, like when it is too much thought on the front end versus no, I still need to like actually come up with some things?
Speaker 2:Um, and I think that might be different for each person. You know, I think some people are really, really good with. I'm going to think about this for a little while and I'm going to do what I can do right now. But then I'm going to have to like, do this rinse, rinse and repeat kind of thing, where it's like I think about it a little, I do some action items, then I think about a little bit more and I do some action items, but at the same time, all those action items are those things that I'm doing.
Speaker 2:I'm also wanting to improve upon those and say, oh, you know what, but I also want to do this next time. And then you sort of adding it on and stacking it on top of each other. So, um, I think that's a hard part for me is when you get in that overthinking thing where you're like, oh, okay, but I should probably do something about this now, or is now the right time, or is it not the right time? And maybe that's just, maybe that's the, that's the inner critic is like, no, you're not ready, you're not ready yet, it's you know that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:So yeah, well, I think yeah, there's. There's an article here that I pulled up because part of what I was reading into the Teddy Roosevelt man in the arena quote yeah. Daring greatly and striving valiantly was not giving up on your goals and dreams. That's something that's almost identifying marker for our personality type.
Speaker 1:I don't know about anybody else almost, uh, identifying marker for our personality type. I don't know about anybody else, uh, it's just where. Because we go along to get along whenever we want something. As soon as there's any tension or conflict in schedules or family or friendships, stuff about what you want versus what they want, or, like your peacemakers are quick to drop theirs to keep the peace, to drop whatever conflict they're causing, whatever they want that's causing conflict, they'll just drop it. Um, and so that often happens with goals and dreams, even if you come across something that's like, oh, I don't, I want to start this, but I don't know what to do about taxes. Right, so I'll just drop it or I'll put it off. It'll put it off and then, after three consecutive put offs, it's not in the head anymore, it's gone, you forgot, you wanted it, but anyway. So I did this. Look up for that. And one of their first tips, one of 18 tips. There is no perfect time. Coming back to what you just said, yeah.
Speaker 1:And, you know, if we learn by doing like. One of the things that's intimidating me is making a call like okay, yeah, I could do, do like, I think, I think I think the verb you use, coming back to your larger question of how do you know you're at the time is right or you're putting your um, you know whether you're being a critic or whether you're being, whether you're striving, valuing, Right, I think it's the verbs you're using or embodying have a lot to do with it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, I often get on people in my team when, when we're faced with a problem, they talk about looking at it, it's like, yeah, I'll take a look at it. Yeah. Or I'll analyze it, I'll investigate, I'll research. Yeah. And it's like no, I don't want you to do that, I want you to fix it. Yeah, Fix the problem, solve the problem Right. Do the thing, them Right. You know, do the thing, don't think about it, don't review it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, don't ask around like fix it. The fact that you've identified the problem means you've already looked at it, You've already analyzed it.
Speaker 1:Like you already know that there's an issue, so you know there may be more things to discover, but but the goal isn't to understand the problem right. The goal is to solve it. Understanding it is a means to that end. Yeah. You know, similarly, like I caught myself, you know I want to.
Speaker 1:I've got this business idea and I'll listen to a podcast, or listen to a podcast about starting a business, or I'll watch YouTube videos about it or listen to audio books about finding or chasing your dream or whatever, but that's not actually doing anything Right, very passive that's. The other thing is, you know, yeah, you're just, you're passively consuming content or just thinking about it. Yeah, I would even say going around and looking for opportunities or taking pictures of stuff, whatnot. But pursuing the dream would be something like making the call, perhaps writing a rough script to help reduce some of the intimidation of that first call.
Speaker 1:Um just so you know how to start and how to finish or whatnot, but ultimately, like, are you doing the thing you know.
Speaker 2:um, so yeah yeah, and I think I think, uh, I have felt much in terms of feelings. You know just where you're trying to like evaluate your emotional, emotional wellbeing, everything like that. When I do something like that, that again have you been thinking about or you've been sort of overthinking, or you've been like, oh, I know, you sort of know like. It sounds to me like you already know. The next step in this is you need to make some phone calls. Right, you have already identified that.
Speaker 1:And I, yeah, when I have to talk about it, yes. But when I wake up in the morning I think what am I supposed to do? Oh, I can't think of it. Oh well, I'll just stop, I'll just do something else instead. But anyway, go on. Sorry, yeah, no, I mean, I think Know the next step.
Speaker 2:Yeah, know the next step and and basically go. You know, that thing is like the gateway to the next step. So, you know, you, you beginning to make phone calls is sort of the okay, first of all, you're going to get some feedback from that. You're going to get some yeah, that's a good idea, that's a terrible idea, that's workable, that's not workable. Oh, here's some other things that you might not have thought about. So you're going to get that feedback. And then, uh, you know, quite honestly, you're going to have to deal with that, you know, and you're going to have to say, okay, what's that? You're going to have to adjust your next step based on that, right, so, you know, very, very interesting, you get that feedback which you can act upon. Yes.
Speaker 2:Right Um the other thing that I was going to say is um, and you can, I know you just pulled out a book to or not to, but, um, you pulled out a book and but one of the things I was going to talk about is one of my favorite I don't say favorite books, but the six pillars of self-esteem, and how that connects here is that you know that's more of an overreaching thing of of. You know having that, you know having that inner voice and having an inner critic. You know having that inner voice and having an inner critic, you know Um, so one of the things that says it here is um, you know the the. The book talks about the practice of self-esteem, and one of the things that this person points out is notice that they don't say it's, you know it's a practice, it's something that you have to do, you have to actually physically do it, and so his proposition in the book is giving you these six different pillars, which are the six practices that you need to do in order to have higher self-esteem or in order to repair higher self-esteem or in order to, like, repair your self-esteem, and I think that that inner critic is really an indication of a lower self-esteem.
Speaker 2:Like is your? Your inner voice is telling you like, yeah, you know you're not good enough, you're not strong enough, you're not fast enough, you're not, you know, smart enough, whatever that might be. You don't have what it takes to, you know, to see it through. You know what I mean, um, and so you know it talks about a lot of stuff, but one of the that I'll say this the first, the first um practice is living more consciously. Living more consciously and it's talking about basically, um, you know, bringing a conscious like you're instead of your inner voice subconsciously going, you're living more consciously, so, um, it sort of talks about using that as the first pillar of trying to move forward. So I think somebody, I think, I think, I think doers, tend to probably silence that inner voice a lot more and have like higher self-esteem, and that's what I think, you know, teddy Roosevelt was trying to trying to point out.
Speaker 1:So what were you going to talk?
Speaker 2:I saw you get a book, but did you find what you're looking for or no?
Speaker 1:I did there was a journal my ex-wife gave me. That doesn't necessarily ruin its credibility, but I do feel like I was going to say that yeah but she, she challenged me to answer a few questions every day, like in journaling it, and the one that was amazingly powerful for me. The others put aside, there were self-interested questions for but the one, the first one that she challenged me to ask myself was uh, did I avoid things today, or what did I avoid?
Speaker 1:today yeah, um, I think that's another strong signal that, yeah, falling prey to your critic self and not your doer self that's very interesting that's actually a pretty powerful question what did I avoid today?
Speaker 1:That's huge. And that's the other way to say procrastinate, and generally speaking, we only ever procrastinate like I don't know, 80 plus percent of the time. We procrastinate either because it feels too hard, either too ambiguous or uncertain or whatever, or it's too easy, right, it's mundane right it's tedious, it's annoying. So you know, just knowing which it is and why can help you live more consciously, like you were just saying yeah is, you can challenge yourself.
Speaker 1:Okay, even though this intimidates me, I'm going to do this. I'll make. I'll make this first step of this intimidating process. Yeah. But, yeah, I think this, this is turning out to be quite motivating for me, so I'm I'm grateful for the conversation.
Speaker 2:It'll be good. Yeah, it's's, I think it's. I think that, uh, you know, this is part of the thinking process, like I think what, what we do, like when we just have the conversation and we record it and we put it out. There is um, is that's just sort of going through the stuff. It's it's like the psychology major in college. It's like they's like the psychology major in college. It's like they they became a psychology major mainly because they want to figure themselves out, not necessarily figure other people out. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So which is you know a little bit of a thing with it. So, um, so yeah, this podcast is a little bit like that as well. So, uh, hopefully the audience gets something out of it also. But beyond that, um, I think that's it. I think that's all I wanted to talk about. Did you have anything? Did you have anything else?
Speaker 1:challenge myself and others to be a bit more bold interaction. You know, be a pull out. What is this? Uh, henry Bergson. Yeah, like a person of action. Act like a person of thought. Yes, I changed the gender for these times, but um, think like a person of action, act like a person of thought. I'm just yeah. Well, I'm just yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll say this I'll end with this on that note is the second pillar of self-esteem, is the practice of self-acceptance, and this person says that that can be easily summed up as you being, you refusing to be in an adversarial relationship with yourself. So the inner, inner voice is that like you're fighting with it, right? So you know, um, so, so you know, you know what I'm talking about. I do anyway. All right, that's all I'll take it. And yeah, we will. You will hear us next time. All right, see ya thanks, brian.