Soulmate Dog

Have you ever wondered if your pet could be more than just a furry companion, but a soulmate? Michelle Slater, author of "Soulmate Dog," joins us to share her heartwarming tale of love and connection with her German Shepherd, Brady. Together, we traverse the emotional landscape of relationships that transcend species, highlighting the extraordinary lengths to which we go for our pets and the limitless nature of love.

This episode isn't just about pet love; it's an exploration of grief, healing, and the unspoken language that binds us to our animal friends. Delving into the world of telepathic communication with animals, we uncover how Michelle's skeptic heart was transformed through her experiences with an animal communicator. 

Transcript

Stephanie: 0:01

Welcome to As I Live and Grieve, a podcast that tells the truth about how hard this is. We're glad you joined us today. We know how hard it is to lose someone you love and how well-intentioned friends and family try so hard to comfort us. We created this podcast to provide you with comfort, knowledge and support. We are grief advocates, not professionals, not licensed therapists. We are you.

Kathy: 0:26

Hi everyone, welcome back once again and thanks so much for tuning in As I Live and Grieve. We talk about my guests a lot and if you see me on TikTok, you know that this very podcast, As I Live and Grieve, is the new recipient of three awards from Speak Up Talk Radio. The one that I am most proud of is Best Interviews, and I have to attribute that to my guests. Today is no exception to that. With me today is Michelle Slater. Thanks so much, Michelle, for joining me. I understand you just got back from Switzerland.

Michelle: 1:02

Yes, I did. Thank you so much for having me, Kathy.

Kathy: 1:05

Great. We are going to talk today about the special bond that develops between ourselves and our pets, specifically a dog in this instance, a very special dog. So, as we get started, Michelle, would you tell us a little bit about yourself and about Brady?

Michelle: 1:21

Yes, and about Brady, yes. So I'm a former professor and a writer and my book, Soulmate Dog, is just coming out in June, and it's about my very special relationship with Brady, a German shepherd who I realized very early on was my soulmate dog. And it was such an important relationship and Brady taught me so much that on four different points, four different topic areas, people kept telling me Michelle, you have got to write a book about Brady and about your relationship and what you learned. And so that's what I've done and I'm really eager to share it with you.

Kathy: 2:03

Thanks so much for that, Michelle. I do have a copy of your book and I have only just started reading it because it just came the other day in the mail and already I'm fascinated with it. I have a lifelong love for animals in general, specifically dogs. I don't think there has been more than one year in my numerous decades of life that I have been without a dog At this point. I live with my daughter and her family and they have three dogs that very quickly have become my grand dogs and I have a special bond with each of them. But until I heard about your book, I had never heard the word soulmate attached to a dog. Can you tell me what this very special connection means?

Michelle: 2:46

I can. I just knew, when I met Brady, when he was a puppy and he was no more than eight or nine weeks old, I'd never experienced that "coup de foudre which I can't find the English term when you fall in love, that thunderbolt that you get. But I felt it with him. I felt this immediate, this immediate surge of unconditional love. And it started early on, but it continued, it developed. We had such a deep appreciation for one another and I had the feeling right away that I would do anything for him, I would make sacrifices for him, I would do anything to protect him, to make sure that he could live his best life. And he appreciated me and he showed me his unconditional love.

Michelle: 3:38

I was actually well for a good portion of Brady's life. I myself was sick with Lyme disease and he was so forgiving if I couldn't take him for a walk. He just showed so much affection and forgiveness and understanding. So it was just this symbiotic. It wasn't just coming from one or the other. It was constantly transmitted between the two of us that it was a love without conditions and I had not experienced that in my human relationships. I could feel the different conditions, even though I felt their love. But from Brady I learned that it was truly possible to love without these limits, and I had such an enormous respect for the way that he treated me and I reciprocated. And so we came to this understanding of one another that we had the privilege to be in this relationship, and it only deepened when I discovered ways to deepen our connection that were beyond the five senses, that were beyond anything that I could ever have understood on my own, and I know we will get into that. But, if I may, I learned the tools of animal communication, and so by that I mean that I was put in touch with a woman who was an expert animal communicator, who communicates telepathically with animals. I never would have thought that that was possible or a legitimate way to communicate, and I did have a good bit of doubt and skepticism. But when I started speaking with her and when she relayed Brady's answers to me that were so, so accurate, so much in his own expression and character, that I realized that it was legitimate, I conducted my own research and I learned how to speak with Brady myself, and so this faculty of language, that we're told that dogs don't have, deepened that bond even more. And he would confirm this unconditional love in his own words. And so, on those levels first and then you know, kathy, when you have a soulmate who you would do anything for and you could people say metaphorically, I would go to the moon for you, sure, I would give my right leg for you.

Michelle: 5:52

Well, what happened was Brady.

Michelle: 5:54

When he was about six years old, he became very ill, very quickly with what we discovered was leptospirosis and it gave him acute renal failure. So he was in the emergency hospital, and I don't want to give away the whole plot of Soulmate Dog. No, he was in the emergency hospital for an extended period and I learned that I was true to my words, Kathy. I would have gone to the end for him, I would have given my right leg for him, I would have spent my last dollar on him, and I did. I was there with him, I spent the night, sometimes when he was having a bad day, on the concrete floor of the emergency hospital in his room with him attached to the IV machine, and I saw him through. And so this bond that we had, this soulmate bond, it just continued to deepen over his life through much as it does with humans, through a variety of experiences that tested us, that challenged us, that put that love to the test, and we stood up, we rose to the occasion every time and it was a remarkable experience.

Kathy: 6:58

There's so much in the words you have just spoken that I want to comment on. Let me first start with the concept of soulmate. As I say, normally we think of another person, the person we find, who we develop a loving relationship with, and we refer to them as our soulmate. And yes, you know, we'll go to the moon for you. Give my right arm, my left leg, whatever - we will do anything in the world. And then, as you go through that relationship and you encounter life's challenges and the trials and tribulations, the good times, the bad times, that bond deepens. You don't hear about it as frequently as it relates to animals and humans. So I have to wonder, and I ask you to think, the way you were brought up, your parents' role models. Was there anything you can think of there that allowed you or helped you to have this very open mind that this was even possible with an animal?

Michelle: 7:56

Absolutely. I would say two things, Kathy. I would say that as the reader starts to read my book, in the very opening chapter, I framed my whole relationship with Brady also in terms of grief and loss in the opening chapter, about the way that my parents and I viewed non-human animals when I was a child For there was a particular book that we had read, In the Shadow of a Rainbow, which recounts an extraordinary relationship between a wolf and a young Inuit man, and my parents were just as enthralled as I was with this story, and when we talked about it I was no more than eight years old. We talked about, perhaps without using the word, interspecies, just that there are no limits to an interspecies love relationship, and so I very much was raised with that notion, and we did then have a German Shepherd who was part of our family and we considered her to be. I felt that I was no more important than she was, that she was just as important in my family as I was than she was, that she was just as important in my family as I was, and so I always had an incredible appreciation and I always valued the non-human animal and never looking at an animal as inferior to a human and I talk about that a lot in the book in my philosophy chapter because I'm also trained in philosophy, so I had a contribution to make about that as well.

Michelle: 9:28

But my childhood absolutely framed the way that I felt and that did create an openness about, even philosophically as well. I think that the way that Aristotle would look at concept of philia and love and soulmates was certainly not intended to be interspecies. Right, I'm opening it up to that and in Soulmate Dog I say that that's how I consider it to be and, based on my relationship with Brady, I think there's no other way to describe that than with the word soulmate. And I've heard so many people who have a love for a particular animal think of it in the same way. And I think if you do have that love, that hearing the word soulmate dog is going to resonate with you and say, ah, someone is finally validating the way that I feel.

Kathy: 10:19

Absolutely, absolutely. And first I want to say kudos to your parents for introducing that into your childhood and making it such a vital part of your upbringing. I honestly feel that, not just with this topic, but with so many topics, if parents were more thoughtful about some of the things that they introduced to their children, that some of the issues we have in today's world would not exist at all or would exist in a much smaller percentage. I speak primarily of dogs as well, because that is the most frequent animal that's ever been in my life. However, I have to say, shortly after my husband died, we had had two dogs together and one at a time. Almost a year to the day, the older dog, Colton died, and then, a year after that, again almost to the day that my husband died, Sarge died and I was left with no pets. I was, for one of the few times in my life, totally alone. Because of my age, I didn't feel it was going to be as easy for me to care for a puppy though I would have loved to have had a puppy that I could hold in my lap and I didn't want to take that burden on and not be able to care for the dog like they should be cared for. I had very high standards on that. They were part of my family, they were a child of mine, they were welcome in my lap, they were welcome in my bed. Sometimes they shared the same food that I did, from the same plate.

Kathy: 11:46

Okay, I confess, maybe not the best animal behaviorist, but I loved my animals. So for some reason I've been fascinated with birds, maybe because my mother used to love canaries. She loved the song, she loved their music. But I didn't want a canary, I wanted a bird I could interact with. And I got a small parrot, a conure.

Kathy: 12:08

I have to say very quickly, that little bird, who was named Phoebe, I think, was almost my soulmate and had we had more time together before I went to live with my daughter and had to re home Phoebe, because they have three dogs, Phoebe and I had more time together, I think we would have developed a very special bond. E very morning I opened the door of her cage, she would fly over and spend her day, either on my shoulder, on my lap, on the arm of the chair. She would fly back to her cage when she needed to use the bathroom and then come back and join me for the rest of the day. So I know and understand how that bond can develop. Yet still, the bond that you had with Brady is incredible, and I can't wait to read the rest of the story, because not only did you have that soulmate bond where you were willing to do anything for Brady to help heal him, to help him get better, to make him comfortable, even if that was the only option, you did it without any hesitation.

Kathy: 13:11

You never thought for an instant, oh gosh, that's a lot of money, doc. What can we do Not for one second. You did whatever it, and that is admirable. And, as I say, I can't wait to read more in the book. Now, to go on a little further, you also mentioned the telepathic communication, and I also have read, as I flip through some of the pages of your book, because I can't wait. I see language of dog. Tell me more about that. Tell me more about this special language.

Michelle: 13:42

Absolutely. I'd be delighted to so. This original subtitle of the book was Soulmate Dog: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Dog. Now, of course, the publisher thought that Soulmate Dog stood on its own and I do see that, but it was important enough that I included that in the original subtitle, because learning the language of dog is another way to frame this subject of telepathic animal communication. Because what happened, as I learned from expert animal communicator Debbie McGillivray, is that if you are able to calm yourself, much like you would do, Kathy, in a state of meditation, and free your mind from distractions and really tune in, then you can sort of like send a mental picture or an image to the animal that you're requesting to communicate with. And I learned from her the sequence of how to do this. And then when I was able to tune in to Brady and I couldn't do it as expertly as she could I talk about it in my book along these lines that, Debbie, she was completely fluent in the language of dog, whereas I spoke on sort of an intermediate level, and so I would receive pictures, I would have a certain feeling, I would hear words, and Debbie was so advanced as she is an expert animal communicator and she locates lost dogs. She's able to identify health problems in dogs. In fact, what really confirmed it for me was that in my first conversation with her and Brady, she told me that he had an issue with one of his discs in the lower lumbar part of his spine and she named one, and she suggested that I go to an animal chiropractor. I've never even heard of an animal chiropractor and I made an appointment that afternoon with one that happened to be close by. Of course, I didn't mention anything about Debbie's diagnosis At the time. I would have been embarrassed to do so. I get that, and I almost fell off from my chair when she said to me oh, this disc in the lower lumbar is out. It was exactly the one that Debbie had mentioned. And I decided right then and there that I was going to set my skepticism aside and humbly learn this language of dog. And I set myself to do that learn this language of dog. And I set myself to do that.

Michelle: 16:12

And all the while that Brady was in the animal hospital, I regularly spoke with Debbie. I had frequent sessions to see how his treatment was going, to see how he was feeling, to make sure that I wasn't compromising the quality of his light to make sure that he wanted to keep going. And he was extremely clear that he wanted to keep going, that I was his lifeline and that together we were going to find the light and find our way out of the hospital. And it was extraordinary because I happened to be hosting Debbie for a workshop on animal communication and Brady was supposed to have been the model for our workshop that was taking place at my house and Brady was supposed to have been the model for our workshop that was taking place at my house, but Brady was in the hospital when the workshop was taking place and so we didn't tell anyone that he was in the hospital.

Michelle: 16:59

But she had the people in the workshop try to speak with Brady, just saying that he wasn't there at the home at that time, with Brady just saying that he wasn't there at the home at that time. And after taking the workshop with her, they were all saying well, he's in some dark room, he has a device attached to him. We're not sure he's going to make it out of there. What's going on? And they even asked. They even asked if he was at the hospital, and so then Debbie explained that they were all correct and Brady was actually at the animal hospital at the time and when they tuned in and they asked the questions that she had given them to ask. And then Debbie said well, how would you define the relationship between Michelle and Brady and three out of them, however many? There were said soulmates, just like that.

Kathy: 17:50

Amazing.

Michelle: 17:51

And so I devoted a lot of time to learning the techniques, learning the process, learning how to do that, and then I granted enormous respect to Debbie and to this process. And what I learned as well which is very interesting part of this animal communication that made me respect Brady and animals and the way that they communicate even more is that there was one time that Brady said you know, you can't communicate a lie telepathically, because when a vet tells a lie this is what he said their energy changes, it sort of drops and becomes negative, and you can't telepathically send a lie because the energy is too heavy to send it and to transmit it. So this telepathic animal communication is very pure and it's very honest because in order to do so, it's incapable to lie. So it's incapable to lie. So there's also this level of integrity to this interspecies love story that I give Brady so much credit for his own value system. So that's just a glimpse into that aspect of it.

Kathy: 19:02

It's such an incredible glimpse. Now I know, in looking at these dogs, I can instantly tell if they came into my room because they wanted to check on me or they wanted a treat. I know the difference. However, the communication level that you had with Brady is so much more pure, so much more honest. And you mentioned the word integrity. I love the concept that you cannot transmit a lie telepathically and to my analytical mind, that makes so much sense.

Kathy: 19:35

Now, my point in saying I know what these dogs want when they come into the room is to say that I have a little bit of a language between the dogs and I. Yours was much, much deeper. So I do believe that it is possible. I really do. But if we take for a moment the average person and their relationship with their pet again I speak of dogs because that's my common thread, that's the one I'm most familiar with. I know it's possible with cats as well, though I consider cats to be far more independent personalities than dogs, with a little stubbornness and everything else mixed in as well, and if you've had a cat you'll understand what I'm saying. But for the average person, with the average pet, at the average level, can you speak for a moment. The average pet at the average level. Can you speak for a moment how pets can be our support person, if you will," air quotes, our support person at a time that we are grieving. Why and how can that bond between our pet and ourselves be so important and so helpful as we heal?

Michelle: 20:52

MI would say, kathy, that the notion of the emotional support dog, the therapy dog that has become so important in our culture today, the animal that can confront, that can comfort someone who is grieving or has experienced PTSD, is grieving or has experienced PTSD a variety of different frames is because the non-human animal has such a capacity to be unconditional in a way that the human doesn't seem to have, that we have a hard time stepping outside of our conditions because of our own complex psychology.

Michelle: 21:29

And I think that there is this capacity in the non-human animal, in the dog, in the cat, whatever the animal may be, to experience deep compassion, unconditional love, as I said, an ability to, in abstract terms, to hold space. And so there is something in the being there, in the existing, in the being together, in the communing between the animal and the human. That is so, it is so profound, and it's in that being together, even in that simplicity of being together, that the animal understands and can feel. And I think the animal can also feel our pain, and in a more profound way than, say, another human can feel the pain that they're experiencing, it beyond the six senses. They're also hearing our thoughts through this animal communication and sensing the hormones our body is giving off as we're feeling. And so I think that, for these complex reasons, an animal and a human grieving whether the animal's grieving or the human is grieving are a perfect combination, a symbiotic combination for healing.

Kathy: 22:49

I agree with that completely and I often think of the times I've had a dog in my lap, several dogs especially that I think of. Some were really too large for my lap, but it was their perception at the time that counted. And one of the dogs we have is a rescue pity and we call her our invasive snuggler because she loves to cuddle. But she's often right in your face, right in your face, nose to nose. Dogs have a sense. They're not wearing a watch. It doesn't matter to them what else they might have thought they were going to do at that time. They have this sense that you need them, that you need their warmth. You need the touch of their body against yours, against your hand. Sometimes they will even flip your hand with their nose to get you to place your hand on them, because they know that connection will help.

Kathy: 23:42

It is uncanny really that these animals are capable of doing that. The amount of love and support I have felt from an animal that if I sometimes consider that person in my life, whether it's a family member or just a friend that I love, whoever it is, they often are there to support me too. But it's not the same. There is something so, so different, and I expect that I'm going to find precisely the right words in the covers of your book that are going to bring all those feelings back for me and as well, because we have such a special bond with these animals that they support us unconditionally. They love us unconditionally, especially when we most need the comfort.

Kathy: 24:38

They have that again uncanny ability to know that they're on duty. This is their time to be our comfort. So it's no wonder that when we have to give up one of our pets through illness or the fact that they've just aged out and we just don't have enough years with them, these very special animals, but it's no wonder that that grief is every bit as overwhelming and impactful to our lives, because these are very special beings in our lives and I want all of the listeners out there to know you should never, never, never, allow yourself to be judged or belittled for the depth of hurt you feel when you lose your soulmate. Would you like to comment on that, michelle?

Michelle: 25:32

You know. I'd love to comment on that because I feel that we don't always know how to grieve when it comes to grieving another human, soulmate animal and the lack of understanding that other humans have around to begin with an interspecies love relationship of that nature. I would just like to say to your listeners to know that their grief is validated, that it is reasonable, that it makes sense, that it is worthy, that if you love an animal to that depth and your animal loved you back, then of course the grief is going to be even more deep, even more profound, even more overwhelming. And so, taking the time to feel all of your emotions, to feel the sadness, to walk through the different stages of grief, which in Soulmate Dog in my book, I devote an entire coda to the grieving process, because I've read so many books about dogs where this beloved dog dies and the book ends and then you're left, yes, to grieve this animal that you've become invested in on your own, but you don't. No one is holding your hand as you do so. So the book is over, the dog has died and that's it. And soulmate dog.

Michelle: 27:09

Of course I didn't want Brady to die, wanted him to be eternal right and and never die until maybe I did. But of course that's not realistic and so I devote an entire section to this messy, messy process, and it's very raw writing. I was afraid that the publisher and the editor wouldn't accept it, because it is where I wanted the reader to. I wanted to walk the reader, Kathy, through this raw, messy process of grieving, which is not linear, which is not pretty Correct, but for me, I grieve through feeling all of my emotions, allowing them to come out and have their place. I walk a lot. I walk and I think and I let them come out.

Michelle: 27:55

I journal, and so I share journal entries, I shared my walks, I shared things that came up, and I think that in doing so, I believe that that is going to help the readers out there who are grieving the loss of their own soulmate animals, the loss of their own soulmate animals, and it will validate them and it will even give them a guide to what it is like to grieve, what it means to grieve, how to grieve. I believe that it constitutes a sort of guide on how to grieve, how that can be, and that there's no timeline. And to show your grief is also to appreciate and respect your love and Brady. He deserved all of my grief and if I had been the one to go before him, he would have grieved just as deeply as I.

Michelle: 28:50

And I wanted to lastly say that he was so there for me, even his last moments and I am giving this away a bit he was so with me, he was so concerned about my grief in the last moments of his life that he, even as he was dying, he remained so intensely connected to me in a way that I won't give away. You'll have to read Soulmate Dog. But it was the most remarkable moment, I can say, of my life, the way that he treated me as he lay dying.

Kathy: 29:27

Incredible. I'm even more excited to read the book now. Everything you've said. Really, we define and redefine grief in different podcast episodes and I have a very simplistic definition of grief. But my very, very favorite one is actually the last line of a quote from Jamie Anderson. That, for me, was my light bulb moment in understanding grief. And it applies equally whether it is grieving a human or grieving a non-human. Anything living, truly anything living. It could be the memorial tree in your backyard that you have a bond with, and that is Jamie Anderson.

Kathy: 30:08

After describing some of the feelings and sensations, her very last line was grief is merely "love, with no place to go, and it's only because that being and that's going to reduce me to tears, actually, as I say it, that being is no longer in your life. You still have all the love, every bit of that love, but you no longer have that body to pass it to, and on that note, I'm going to say it's time we wind down. And on that note, I'm going to say it's time we wind down. So this is the point in the podcast, Michelle, where I am going to wipe the tears from my eyes and I'm going to turn the microphone over to you and let you speak directly with our listeners today and share with them anything you will, but please make sure to give them the information on how they can get a copy of your book. The floor is yours.

Michelle: 30:57

Thank you, Kathy, and I would like to say I love this quote grief is merely love, with no place to go. This Jamie Anderson quote. I wanted to say that they are still in our lives, their spirit, their love, all of the traces of that, and their spirit especially, that life force, energy, is still present, just still with us. And Brady would say at the end of his life my body is just a piece of paper. And we put so much emphasis on the body and it's important when he snuggled with me, when he was close and snuggled up. We cherish that. But I would say that the spirit of our loved ones is so much more expansive than that and we do still have them. So it's just. But losing the body is such an intense experience and it's our palpable, tangible relation of how we experience life with them. So it is such a loss and I wanted to say thank you so much for having me and I'm so eager.

Michelle: 32:02

This book will always be the most important book I've ever written to me Soulmate Dog and it is coming out on June 10th on Audible, narrated by the brilliant Alison Larkin, and also in paperback and hardback. It can be ordered in bookstores. It's available for order on Amazon. You can find more about me on my website, michelleslater. com. I do have an Insta page, Michelle B Slater, and also a TikTok. Michelle B Slater and I am now giving interviews and you can find those on my Instagram page, and I'm so delighted to be able to bring this book, Soulmate Dog, into existence so that my readers can have a place to go for their own grief, to explain their own love and to even understand the importance of holistic vet care and animal communication.

Kathy: 33:03

Absolutely. Thank you, Michelle, for taking the time out of what I know is an extremely busy schedule with international travel and everything preparing for your book launch. Now these episodes for As I Live and Grieve are recorded. This particular episode is actually going to launch on June 11th. In other words, everyone. The book was just released yesterday.

Kathy: 33:26

So grab your copy, is what I want to say. I have an advanced copy and I have flipped through pages, I have seen pictures. The pictures are endearing. I'm not going to say it's an easy read because narratively it's easy. It's like conversation you will hear.

Kathy: 33:45

Now that you've heard Michelle's voice, you can attach her voice to these words and it will be just like she is telling you the story of her and Brady. It's going to be very exciting. But I also want you to know that in it all, do not let yourself feel at all diminished or judged for having loved an animal At whatever level of love you had, at whatever level they have provided you with support and comfort. Do not feel at all at all ashamed or abnormal for grieving this animal. It is perfectly normal, it is acceptable. We grieve anything we love when we lose that.

Kathy: 34:25

So continue to think about self-care, which is one of the primary, primary considerations when you're grieving. Take care of yourselves and also know that as you heal, healing is not just a sedentary practice. You've got to do something about it to help yourself heal. So you have to make some decisions, you have to take some steps, and part of that can be reading a great book. So consider Soulmate Dog. I can't wait to get further into it. On that note, I love you all. Thanks so much for listening and I'll catch you again next time as we all continue to live and grieve. Thanks again, Michelle. Have a great day.

Stephanie: 35:06

Thank you so much for listening with us today. Do you have a topic that you'd like us to cover or do you have a question from one of our episodes? Please email us at info at asiliveandgrieve. com and let us know. We hope you will find a moment to leave a review, send an email and share with others. Join us next time as we continue to live and grieve together.