The Grief of Divorce

Feeling adrift in the aftermath of a divorce? Healing takes center stage as we welcome Cindy Edington. Together, we acknowledge the duality of grief—mourning a lost loved, or facing the finality of a marriage. Through Cindy's holistic approach, we shine a light on the importance of self-discovery, managing financial fears, and the delicate dance of redefining one's future.

The path to personal growth after divorce is fraught with caution signs—rush into a new relationship, and you may miss the chance to truly rediscover who you are. This episode fosters a conversation about the dangers of dating on the rebound and the wisdom in casual meetups where you can catch warning signs over a steaming cup of coffee.

Discover the restorative power of self-compassion through practices like yoga and Reiki, and consider coaching as a guiding light. Remember, we're here to offer a hand and a listening ear, creating a compassionate space for you to share and grow. Join us as we continue this heart-to-heart...

Contact:
www.asiliveandgrieve.com
info@asiliveandgrieve.com
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To Reach Cindy:
Website:  https://tranquilheartwellness.com/


Credits: 
Music by Kevin MacLeod 

Transcript

Stephanie: 0:00

Welcome to A as I Live and Grieve, a podcast that tells the truth about how hard this is. We're glad you joined us today. We know how hard it is to lose someone you love and how well-intentioned friends and family try so hard to comfort us. We created this podcast to provide you with comfort, knowledge and support. We are grief advocates, not professionals, not licensed therapists. We are YOU.

Kathy: 0:25

Hi everybody, welcome back again to As I Live and Grieve . You know, exciting news here in the As I Live and Grieve world. I think you may, I hope, have already heard that very recently, A as I Live and Grieve got not one, not two, but three awards from Speak Up Talk Radio. The one I'm most proud of is Best Interviews. Out of all the entrants, all the nominees, we got Best Interviews, and I say it's because my guests, my listeners and, yeah, maybe it's me leading the charge, but at any rate, I'm so excited about that. The other is stay tuned and watch our Facebook page, A as I Live and Grieve, for news about the grief cruise that I've been asked to present on. N next February we're going to San Juan, we're going to Phillipsburg, S st. Maarten, and we're going to Cocoa Key, which is a private resort island for Royal Caribbean. So there'll be more information about that. You can come along, too. Stephanie's coming. She's my cabin mate and I just do hope you'll consider coming along. It'll be a magical time. Okay, that's all the tidbits. Let's get into it today. With me today is Cindy Edington. Cindy, welcome to the show and thanks for taking time. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. Oh, I'm so excited about our conversation today. We're going to talk about grief, but it's, you know, from one of those different perspectives that we visit every so often. Divorce can be an extremely traumatic event in your life. I know, I've been there twice, and, just as the loss of death of someone you love, divorce will bring on grief. That's still a beast, and although it's not fair perhaps to compare them, depending on the person that is you, depending on where you are in life, depending on what may have happened during this relationship, grief from divorce can be equally devastating and equally difficult to come back from. So, C cindy, before we really get started with the meat of this conversation, would you just tell our listeners a little bit about yourself?

Cindy: 2:42

divorce because, having a heartbreaking divorce myself, I truly understand their

Kathy: 3:11

Yep, exactly, it's very difficult. Now I have heard the term transformational coach and of course I know the definition of transform, but can you just offer a little more clarity for our listeners about what exactly that means?

Cindy: 3:26

Yes, from my perspective it's really transformed. It's more of an empowerment I'll put it that way Women's empowerment, but it's literally transforming yourself from being in one state of being, so to speak, going to another. And so, you know, most of us again have gone through divorce, are in some form or fashion of grief. Right? Being able to move through that and come out on the other side feeling stronger, it's a more evolved version of self. Okay?

Kathy: 3:53

Yeah, I know. After my husband died, I used the word when speaking with my daughter, Stephanie. I told her I felt I was trying to redefine myself. Trying to redefine myself, but that's similar to that whole concept of transformation, because, all of a sudden, that person, you were, that life, the dreams you had for tomorrow or next year were no longer the same. They were gone. So how

Kathy: 4:18

can we then be fair in making a comparison between the grief that you might experience when you lose someone through death and the grief to divorce? Do you have any thoughts on how it compares? And, equally, when children are involved?

Cindy: 4:34

Yeah, certainly. So it's interesting because I've had this conversation with a few other folks as well in terms of talking about grief in the process, and to me we can say compare, but grief is grief is grief, thank you, thank you.

Cindy: 4:49

I love that. I love that you know it's loss, whether it is loss of you know someone that you love, loss of the relationship, loss of the, as you say, the future that you, maybe you imagine, loss of loss of you know a father, two children, right, depending on how the situation is. So to me there is no comparison, because to me it's the same type of feeling, right? Grief is grief is grief.

Kathy: 5:14

Right, right, and I love that. So I'm going to say right now, as of this moment, I am going to try hard to not compare. Look, I love that. Grief is grief is grief. So from that perspective, using that concept, you go through this period of time that you know perhaps divorce is going to happen, because the courts don't work overnight like that. So, from the time a decision is made and you've got all this time before it's actually final, you're certainly grieving that entire time. What steps can you take? What suggestions might you offer to people in that phase, in those moments where you know the divorce is inevitable? You're just waiting for that paperwork and there's all this other ugliness, perhaps in the relationship. What are some of the tips?

Cindy: 6:04

First and foremost, community. You need to surround yourself with people that are going to be holding space for you. So I think that's a huge component of it, because a lot of times when you're in that divorce situation, there could be a bunch of friends that you lose simply because of that as well. Oh, absolutely, they usually are. They usually are. So there's that piece of it, so it's literally you know who is going to be basically in your corner and you need to have that community. You also need to be able to regulate your emotions.

Cindy: 6:34

Now, that's the dicey part, right. Especially if you have children. That can be a really tricky path to navigate, so to speak. And I'll just give my personal experience with that is that I was a master talker. I was like I, you know, I had a very small child and was like I can't be this crying mess. I didn't have a family that was close by. I had some few close friends, and so it was. I was like, just well, I don't want to feel that right now, I'm just going to tuck that right here. I don't want to feel that, and so I'm just going to tuck that right here.

Cindy: 7:08

And so you know, which did not serve me well at all, but it was my way at the time of coping with all the emotions that were going on, and so, rather than actually dealing with them or expressing them you know I there's a lot that goes into that too.

Cindy: 7:22

I was taught I was in a family where crying was weak, so being vulnerable was weak, so there's all of these emotions that come along with that as well, that add into, I think, the grief that you're holding on to, and so I think one of the tips is really understanding that you have emotions that actually need to be expressed and that feeling your feelings is valid. It's valid, it's necessary. And feeling your feelings, you have to sit in some sadness, you just have to. You know that is your way to actually move into the healing phase. It's actually feeling the feelings that you have rather than pushing them aside or thinking I've got to be strong for whoever again, for, you know, children. I think that those are the two biggies when you're in that component. That piece of the process is surrounding yourself with community, feeling your feelings, getting help If you need to see a therapist, or getting a coach, getting seeing clergy, whatever you need to do to help you navigate and move through some of that emotional stuff that you're dealing with. It's necessary.

Kathy: 8:26

Yeah, great, great suggestions. I want to ask for one more comparison, and it's not. I promised I would, so I'm not going there. But the comparison between therapist and coach.

Cindy: 8:38

So therapy, what I have found now, again, I don't know all therapists so I'm not here to judge as well or compare in that aspect, but to me, therapists will deal with a lot of what's happened in your past, like where you are right now. What's contributed to that? So it's a little bit different from a coaching perspective. It's OK, we're going to feel what we need to feel, but we're also going to take action steps to move forward. So that to me, is the big distinction between what a therapist does and what a coach does. A coach is actually it's not to say that therapists won't give you some tools. They will, but coaches are really looking for how can we continue to move forward? Where did you get stuck? Where is the big blocker? What's the next action step that you take? And the coach is there in the trenches with you to say, hey, I'm right here with you to help you, like again, take that next step.

Kathy: 9:29

OK, I want to pause for a minute and I want our listeners to think for a minute, and I want them to. If you're not driving, maybe close your eyes. If you're somewhere safe, close your eyes. If you're driving, certainly don't do that. But think for a minute and I want you to imagine in your ears you hear a little flick, that's all, just a little. That is either a puzzle piece snapping into place or a key turning in a little lock.

Kathy: 9:54

Because, to me, the perspective of looking at things in your past versus looking at things today and forward would lead me to make a decision for myself. I want to move forward for now, this is the direction I want to go. I want to go back there. That's ugly. I'm going to go forward. So, me personally, I would choose a coach and until this moment, Cindy, I have never had that light bulb turn on for me. Oh, my goodness. But I love that forward looking, that advancing, that moving, because we all know or should that healing is not a passive event.

Kathy: 10:34

You have to take some kind of action to heal. And if you think for a minute, if you go to your doctor and he says you have high blood pressure, well, if you do nothing about it, your high blood pressure today is going to be your high blood pressure next year. Might even be worse. But if you want to heal, you have to make a decision, whether it's medication, whether it's weight loss, whatever it is. But you have to do something. Grief is no different in my opinion, Would you agree with that?

Cindy: 11:03

I would agree, and some people again. This is again not anything against a therapist. I like what you said. I mean coaches really do refocus again, really more on present than before. It's not to say that I think therapists don't do that, oh no, but I just. I think that again my experience was was like let's focus in more on the past. So again I don't want to point a finger at anything and kind of get it like what are you talking about?

Kathy: 11:30

What I was going to add when I continued the conversation was once you get yourself moving forward, you may find that there's still a lot of stuff in your past that needs work. You can go to a therapist and a coach at the same time.

Cindy: 11:45

Absolutely Could not agree more. Yes, and I have a lot of the clients that I work with them both because it's different perspectives. We're really coming at things from very different kind of perspectives and working in tandem together is very, very beneficial. So thank you for saying that. I was like, oh, I just don't want to get any therapists out. No, no, no, nor do I, nor do.

Kathy: 12:06

I, you know, and certainly you know every type of clinician, anyone who works with, whatever modality, there's always a time, a place. There's always that person that will respond better to one than the other. My thought is, just from my perspective, of being mired in grief and knowing that I personally me, not my neighbor, not my daughter, no one else me I have to do something. If I at least start moving forward, eyes forward, then I can work on that and at the same time address whatever else I need to address. So certainly I'm not dissing therapists or coaches. I honestly think both may be a good idea. Yeah, because that may be solid. Now, what about our kids? Would our kids benefit from therapist coach? Do coaches work with kids? Oh, that's what. Three questions at once.

Cindy: 13:05

So I can answer all of those as well. So there are therapists, definitely for children. I have not seen coaches for small kids, but I know of really good coaches that are there for kids that are kind of like between and teenage. So yeah, you know again, it is all about who do you resonate with right, I mean, who do you really resonate with what feels best for you to move yourself forward? And so there are kids out there too that have both a coach and a therapist as well. So yes.

Kathy: 13:38

Now another component of this with and again it pertains to grief At some point in time, as you move forward on your grief journey common that's what most people say Put yourself out there that you may consider dating again. What suggestions do you have for that?

Cindy: 14:07

Take your time, Again, depending on what the divorce looks like. You have to do your own inner work, because typically and I've had clients ask me, why do I keep attracting the same kind of guy? There's a reason for that, right. This goes back to then some of the programming, right? So it's whatever you grew up with, what you saw in terms of like, how your caretakers or your parents interacted with one another, how did they show love with one another, how did they share the household chores so all of that kind of like comes into play, and so you need to take a look at that. So it's a lot of more, I would say, introspection. You need to actually do a deep dive on that and do some inner work on yourself to say, okay, what habits and patterns that I have contributed to it, so that you really understand more or less how you work and then take your time, right.

Cindy: 15:05

It's one of those things where some women, you have to be careful and again, I talk with my clients about this all the time. It's like I feel lonely and so I think in your work they jump right back into the same situation again, and so it's like make sure you're solid within yourself, right, Because otherwise, if we're jumping in out of fear of being alone or we're jumping out of fear because of the finances, these aren't the best reasons to jump in and we actually repeat this. We repeat it all over again. So this is where I think, really you know taking your time doing your inner work, feeling solid within yourself first, and then start off with a coughing date. Don't do dinner dates. Start off with a coffee. Feel this person out, See what they're like, Ask a lot of questions, Because you're going to know then what kind of things are going to.

Cindy: 15:52

You know you're going to feel, oh, there's a flag, there's a flag, there's a flag. And pay attention to those, Pay attention to your intuition and the niggles that you feel. If something feels off, trust that. So I, you know, I think that's a. It's a big component. But the first is do your inner work. It's so important, Otherwise you can it's like rinse and repeat, right?

Kathy: 16:12

Where I can rinse and repeat. Oh golly, that conjures up a few images, rinse and repeat and that also may be another area that perhaps a therapist can provide more insight to make sure that your mindset has your best intentions and not something for convenience or because it's quick, it's a way to not be alone at night anymore, or whatever that you're really looking for and being accepting someone that would be a good fit for you. I really like this idea of coach and therapist working together. I have to say that, working in collaboration and you mentioned earlier in our conversation about community I signed your community.

Kathy: 16:55

Now, sometimes, if you have kids, that can be easier because there might be a bunch of soccer moms, for example, I know the bond that I see with my daughter and the other moms for the teams that her son has been involved in over the years and AJ's now a senior in high school. So the bond between the soccer moms is huge and I'm sure it's the same for whatever sport. If you have a daughter who's into cheer or anything like that, I know it's got to be the same thing. So that's an excellent community. Other than that, if all of a sudden you find that you are kind of cut off and isolated. Where might you find community?

Cindy: 17:35

Yeah. So again, I go back to some of my client base who have children that are out of the house. They're older, older, okay, and so now you're in a divorce situation, but you're past all of the growing years of the children, where you're exactly right, you're all with their activities and this is where it will come down to. Again. You may be able to find something in terms of community if you belong to, say, a church, so that could be a really good place to go. The other is social media. There are some Facebook groups out there that you can actually connect with. I have my own Facebook group, you know, and once they're, you know we kind of like work together, whatever, so you start to build into that community and so when you need what I call the barn raising right, you need some lifting up. You know you can basically go in and touch base with people that way too, and you know you can.

Cindy: 18:24

Again, there are divorce support groups, et cetera. So there's a bunch of different ways that you can connect. It's just taking a step, maybe, out of your comfort zone, because what you know then, and so you start to feel isolated, you kind of get into your own little bubble comfort zone. And so this is where that encouragement where again you might need the coach or somebody else to kind of give you the news just say, hey, there's X, Y and Z available to you. Let me help you find something that's going to resonate with you, because it's got to resonate with you too. So it might be you need to try a couple of different things to say, okay, you know I'm going to give that one, that that isn't really for me. You know it's this, but there are definitely other types of communities out there that would be beneficial if you're feeling isolated.

Kathy: 19:05

Okay, All right, good Good thoughts. And if you are somewhat isolated and you have not yet found your community, let's talk for a minute about those invitations you get from the people that all of a sudden the relationship with them has become more awkward because you no longer have your partner, so you're not part of that duo anymore, and they may invite you to an event and, oops, maybe your ex is going to be there too. That can be difficult. Suggestions for that.

Cindy: 19:40

Again, I think it really depends on how the parting of the ways occur, of course. So I mean, if I have a devastating heartbreak and divorce but I still get along great with my ex, why? Because we have a child together. Initially was it painful to see him with somebody else? Gosh, yeah, absolutely you know. So you have to kind of like pick and choose.

Cindy: 20:02

But just again, I think you have to tune into what you feel as well and sometimes that fear it's going to be, I'm afraid and I'm going to do it anyway.

Cindy: 20:11

Sometimes it's afraid and you know what, and I really still don't want to do it, and that's okay too. So I think, giving yourself the provision and knowing that it's okay that you can decline if you want to. If it's just that you're getting way too comfortable in your comfort zone different story Then it's like you know what, get it, find somebody and go with you you know what I mean. Invite somebody else to tag along with you so that you don't have that awkward, uncomfortable feeling, and that's a really good way, I think, to like navigate through that a little bit, but it still comes back to, I think, really giving yourself permission to feel what you feel and honor your feelings because they're valid, because they're yours, and I think sometimes a lot of women forget that their feelings are actually valid. So I think, just really tuning into that, yeah.

Kathy: 20:59

Kind of in the parts that you're not speaking of. You know you're saying the words and everything, but a sense I'm getting is that a key component of helping yourself move forward in your grief is to figure out what you yourself need, which means really answering the question who am I? Not who was I in that relationship, but who am I right now and who or how do I want to be? So you have to kind of settle on that, right.

Cindy: 21:32

That's huge, and it's exactly where you go on, because there can be that can be. Actually, grief ends up being, I think, very complicated in a divorce situation because it is such a loss of sense of self. For a lot of women. It's we define ourselves by our children, you know, with our partners. So this whole definition of who we were is completely wiped out. And so now it's like how do I redefine myself? And so that should be scary, right? It's like, oh gosh, I don't know. Right, I have no idea. And so this is where you know, taking that time again to do some deeper dives to figure out, okay, what do I value Really? What do I value Like, what do I really value? What am I passionate about? And sometimes that can feel numbed out, like I don't even know, like it's so numbed out I don't even know where to go because there's so much grief that's getting in the way. And so this is where you're just taking a step back.

Cindy: 22:33

A tool I like to use with my clients is vision boarding. So I put together a vision board to just get all magazines. I know you can do it online. There's apps and everything where you can do these things. Right now I'm like skip that, go to tactile, get the magazines or whatever I've got, you know boatloads of them. You know, come on over, you know, grab a bunch Tactile and don't think about it. Just find pictures that you resonate with for whatever reason.

Cindy: 22:59

If it's like, oh, I really like that, and don't think about the why, just, oh, I really like that, oh, I really like that. And you snip them all out and then you start to put it together in a collage and then you start to ask the questions why was I? Well, you know, yeah, I was really interested. What did I really like about that? You know? Why did they come up for me? And so it starts this whole inner dialogue of discovery of why am I attracted to these things? Oh, yeah. And so then starts to help set the stage, then, of who am I and who do I want to become? Right, because it's not just who I am in this moment, right, it's who do I want to become.

Cindy: 23:36

And I think it really sets the stage then for continual growth Once you start down that path. Right, it's the continual, and I'm a big, huge life learner. So I really believe in if we're not growing right, we're stagnating, we're just shutting everything down. And so to me, that's a big piece of it is the continual growth, continual evolution. It's like we don't stop right. It's like when I say transformational, transformational, like, quote, we transform continuously. So it's, you know, version 1.0, then we go to 2.0, then we go to negative, maybe it's 2.2 because we're not ready for 3.0, and it's the continual progression.

Cindy: 24:13

But just understanding it's a process, right, and that it's like anything else, when we're starting to learn more about ourselves, we might take two big steps forward and you have a step back and guess what?

Cindy: 24:23

It's okay, right, and a lot of us women I say that I know this only because all the women I work with when that happens, the first thing we go to is our inner critic starts going I shouldn't have done that, I should have done this.

Cindy: 24:35

We go into this, should shame, guilt cycle, we should all over ourselves which we said, we're sitting on a pile of shit that stinks. And then we shame ourselves, right, and then we feel guilty about it and serve that, we ruminate, and so when we get stuck in that inner critic dialogue, it's difficult then to step out of that. And so, again, what do we need to do to break that little cycle too, so that we can continue to like, move forward, because, again, it is a process we are. We're going to go boop, boop, boop. That's what life is right. Life is that same way. We're going to make great streets forward and then we're going to have a bump in the road and the apple cart's going to get turned all upside down. And then we're going to like okay, we might have lost an apple, so we're going to squish the new rest.

Kathy: 25:12

Don't use an app, because one of the things I hate about online is you'd have to have 57 screens open looking at all the different pictures and you'd still have to flip between them. Yeah, you can only spread it all out into a type of collage in front of you if you actually have the physical images on the tabletop. So I absolutely applaud that concept. So definitely do that. And I also love what you said about don't worry about the why. Just you know, if there's a photo that, just for something, stirs in you, then you put it in your pile, add it to your collage and then later try to find out. And what was it about that? What made me smile? Was it the look on the child's face? Was it the clean kitchen that I don't know when you have? What was it about that photo?

Kathy: 26:12

And one of the the people who has been a guest on our podcast many times and I don't know if you've ever heard his name John Polo. He lost his wife, M michelle, at a very young age and he has now become to me almost a guru in the area of dating widows or dating after a death, something like that, and in fact he himself is now engaged to be married. But he talks about finding community, finding where you are, who you want to be, everything about this phase in your life as self-care and I really love that we talk about on the podcast and I'm always reminding people to practice self-care, to take care of themselves. But I can't think of any other time in your life other than when you are grieving that self-care becomes so very important and it can be making those decisions about who do I want to be, how do I want to be, what level do I want to be? Do I want to feel empowered? Can I be comfortable in that body?

Kathy: 27:15

I think every woman I have ever met the answer is yes, you can be. You just have to work at it a bit, maybe, and the accepting of it and practice it. It's all about self-care. It really is. So first, ladies, stop for a minute and think about the concept of self-care. Love yourself for a change. Don't worry about focusing your love outside of you. Focus it inside of you at this moment in your life that you are in grief. I don't care where the grief came from. If you're grieving, turn that focus to loving yourself and I think you will find that that is well placed. Agreed, totally.

Cindy: 27:56

And to me it starts there, because I had a conversation. I love these conversations. We had a conversation with a gal the other day about self-care and self-love and she said well, self-care is self-love. And I said you said there, because a lot of women, it's very difficult to put themselves at the top of the list, and especially if they have kids. Yep, right, and then tag on the grief on top of that.

Cindy: 28:35

And so the first thing is is, you know, taking care of everybody else's needs constantly? And so I like to give the analogy that picture yourself as the well and you're just constantly giving out cups of water to everybody around you, right? And then when you want to drink the well's ball diggity dry and there's no one there giving you a cup of water to drink. So you really need to keep your well full at all times. So, whatever you give out, replenish, and you have to. I mean, these are cliche things. It's like when they say that the mask comes down in the airplane, what do you put it on first? That's my favorite analogy Ourself. And it's so true.

Cindy: 29:11

And that takes practice, because I think a lot of us women have been trained, depending on generation. Let's go back a lot of years. You know it can be cultural, whatever. There's a lot of messages that come down in terms of, like how women are supposed to behave and like what a great mom is supposed to look like, and so there's all of again, there's all these should, should, shoulds that come into play here, and so we can just start to recognize that it's just all a bunch of limiting beliefs that might be getting in the way that you know, these are messages that were force fed to us and we don't have to believe that and literally don't believe in it, so that we can actually again heal ourselves, keep ourselves full self-care, huge, huge self-love, huge, huge, huge. Because the more we do that, we actually have more to give to others. When we love ourselves fully flaws and all it doesn't get any better than that we have more compassion for everybody else as well.

Kathy: 30:01

Absolutely Well said, Well said. I have not met a woman yet. For all the women I've met, whether face-to-face, online, in a Zoom virtual meeting, I have never met a woman yet that I feel has run out of love. Not yet. Not yet it's there. We have this infinite resource. We just kind of have to learn where it is sometimes because we forget. Sadly, our time is running out, oh no, no, and I know we always have these problem conversations and I say I don't think I'll do it. I want more. I don't know, but there's other times we can always have you back, but for now, for right now, I want to do what I do for all of my guests. I do what I do for all of my guests. I'm going to turn the microphone over to you, C cindy, and let you speak directly to our listeners and let them know how they can reach you and how you might like to interact with them. It's yours.

Cindy: 30:54

Thank you, Kathy. So whoever is interested, again, I specialize in working with women, and so if there's any women out there that are in the process of navigating the aftermath of divorce, please reach out. I give free consultations. If I can support you, I will. If I can't, I can refer you to somebody else. Again, I don't like to force myself onto anybody, but I like to be there for anybody that needs it. Just have somebody listen to them initially so you can book a free consultation at my website. My website is www. tranquilheartwellness. c wwwtripleheartwellisallonewordcom.

Cindy: 31:29

I've got a bevy of services that I provide there. You can do one-on-one coaching. I have a group coaching program. The group coaching programs are very small and intimate. I only allow five women at a time because I want to create a very safe, nonjudgmental space where we can come together and heal, help women heal like through that process. When it gets to be too many people, then people tend to like, no, I'm not going to talk, and so I want it to be a sharing experience, so I keep it very small. The next one is going to start probably in the Fall at this point, so my programs are actually full right now, but you can, you know, contact me saying you want that. So I keep it very small. So there's that. But then I also provide because I'm a holistic healer too. I'm also a certified yoga therapist, so I do private restorative yoga sessions. I'm also a Reiki master teacher. So if you're into energy healing, I do Reiki. I can actually teach you with Reiki and I'm also an EFT practitioner and I use just so people know this too I use the emotional freedom technique quite a bit in terms of coaching your program, because it is definitely a way to help regulate your emotions.

Cindy: 32:36

It's a way to help you release a lot of the emotions that you're holding on to, and it comes from a physiological place, right. So when you talk, we're really in the stress response gets triggered when we're in this grief mode, if you will, and so it's a really great way to actually bring ourselves back into a grounded place. When we're grounded, we can see things more clearly, right? I like to say we're able to actually come back into our most creative leadership energy when we're in a grounded place. So, again, I have a bevy.

Cindy: 33:07

Again, those are some of the services I offer. Again, free consultation. Contact me, I'd be happy to help you. Yeah, absolutely, I really want to help as many. That's my mission. I want to help as many women as I possibly can move through their process faster, with greater ease, because mine happened decades ago and we didn't have the information availability that we have right now, and it took a really long time for me to get through my process, and I've learned a lot of lessons in the decades that have transpired since I initially went through my divorce, so there's a lot of knowledge, expertise and wisdom that I would love to give to anybody that's seeking it.

Kathy: 33:51

Oh, that sounds great. And an hour-long consultation, that is again. Listeners, listen to the word Free, yeah, okay. Now it's very special when you are searching for a coach or a therapist or a clinician or whatever practitioner you're searching for, because relationship is key. So what better way to find out if this might be a good fit, a good match between you and Cindy? Take her up on her offer, you know. If you decide after half an hour, you know I just don't, I don't sense it then be honest with her. She'll refer you to someone else. But I have an idea.

Kathy: 34:27

Just, I mean, this is really the first time Cindy and I have talked, other than a quick message when our paths first crossed and I invited you to be a guest on the podcast. As you can see, we have had no trouble, no trouble at all, engaging in conversation back and forth and back and forth. I would be very comfortable with that type of an initial relationship with a coach or a practitioner. Her contact information, as with all of our guests, is going to be in the podcast notes and also on her website as well. If, for some reason, you just can't find it, you can always email me and I will certainly put you in touch with Cindy and the other little easy thing that I just have to share because I love serendipity I didn't know until just before I connected with her today, as we were recording this, that she and I probably live about 20 miles apart. It's that we live in the same freaking city, folks, the same city, and we met online. I just love that. I love that serendipity, me too.

Kathy: 35:28

So everyone, again, you're going to hear me say practice self-care. It's got to start with you. Again, healing is not a passive event. It takes action and you, as the one needing that help, needing that healing, you are the one that has to take that action. It can be tiny, tiny steps, it can be being stationary, but having your mind think about what is it I need? What direction should I go? What is the first thing I should try for? Self-care? It begins with you, as does your healing in your grief. Self-care it begins with you, as does your healing in your grief. So, until next time, please remember, practice self-care and please, please, please come back again next time, as we all continue to live in grief. Thanks, Cindy, have a great afternoon, thank you.

Stephanie: 36:18

Thank you so much for listening with us today. Do you have a topic that you'd like us to cover or do you have a question from one of our episodes? Please email us at info@ asiliveandgrieve. com and let us know. We hope you will find a moment to leave a review, send an email and share with others. Join us next time as we continue to live and grieve together.