The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
You have found a podcast about surviving life after a suicide loss, which is nothing short of devastating, leaving you not knowing how to begin picking up the leftover pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, who lost her 21-year-old son Alex to suicide on August 7, 2016, speaks to this from her own experiences. You will hear her have honest, hard conversations with other loss survivors, healers, and mental health experts on the podcast. She also produces shorter, solo episodes where she shares her own thoughts & experiences in this journey (thus far). She explores relevant topics and asks the hard questions. Nothing is 'off limit' as she delves into all areas of this grief, such as trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy & stigma. Melissa believes we learn to live alongside our grief, not get over it. We can make a difference only through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices. For a supporter or educator, these conversations hold nuggets of awareness and shine a spotlight on suicide and grief honestly and unapologetically. As a suicide loss griever, one can find the comfort of a community and hope for a little brighter tomorrow. Melissa wants to help others, like herself, go from surviving to finding a life with meaning, maybe even happiness, amid their own leftover pieces.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Lisa Marie Presley: WHY Her Death Derailed Me
I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" today for Lisa Marie. I did not know Lisa Marie Presley. We were both born in 1968 and the whole world cried when she lost her father. We "watched" her life - the good, the bad and the ugly from that gaudy front row media seat. But I did not ever know her or even meet her...so why did her death bring me to my knees 10 days ago??
I always thought she was amazing - soulful and gutsy and honest. She was a tormented but authentic rebel, and I adored her edgy, bluesy style & voice.. She was a fiercely loyal and protective mother. She adored her 4 children - as with many of us, they were her heart and her life - her "reason". When Lisa Marie joined this "club" of bereaved parents by suicide in July of 2020, my heart was with her.
HERE is the LINK to People's article, with the Essay by Lisa Marie Presley that I read at the end of the episode. This article speaks to me in SO. Many. Ways. She puts into words WHY I do what I do. She put into words what so many of us think and feel and LIVE every single day now.
I hear her, and see her, for every word she wrote. I was routing for her to find healing. I knew what she was trying to survive. The past two years she isolated and grieved ... but seemed she was getting there. Was she just too late? Were genetics also her enemy or was it just grief? We may never really know, but I know in my heart - deep in my mom gut - that Benjamin's death absolutely played a role.
And "just because" here is a remastered and (obviously) video compilation of her and her dad, The King, singing "In the Ghetto". She went on to do this "duet thing" with several of his songs later but I think this was the first and it has been in my iTunes playlist for YEARS because I have always loved this Elvis song and it elevated it for me to hear them together.
Also, if you are so inclined - here is the LINK to my son Alex singing the solo (opening) to his show choirs rendition of Elvis' "Jailhouse Rock" His part is only the first 13 seconds, and I have played it on loop at times when I need to hear him but I also watch the whole song because he shows back up and I get to hear him and SEE him, as there are so many things that as his mother I see that made him Alex.... mannerisms, little gestures, etc. I hope you too have videos and memories like this that help you celebrate your loved one's legacy as well. Sending my love to you all! - Melissa
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
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