#21 - Clare Lucas on Acceptance, Looking within for the Answers & Enjoying the Journey.

Hey there you conscious listeners, welcome to the 21st episode of the Conscious Podcast!

On this episode I got to share a very insightful conversation with my friend Clare Lucas. Clare is a Yoga, pilates and meditation instructor, adventurer and such a bright & lovely human with a big love for life.

We spoke about topics including breaking free of the social norm, listening to your intuition, the importance of having a growth mindset, finding your own path in life, enjoying the journey, healing childhood blocks, accepting your past, gratitude, choosing who you want to be and focusing on the positives. Plus much more!

We only had met on instagram a few weeks before this podcast and we had such good vibes after a few conversations that I had to get her on the podcast. This was actually the first time we met in person and wow this conversation was epic!

I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too!

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Instagram: www.instagram.com/clareelucas

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey there, you conscious listeners. Welcome to the 21st episode of the conscious podcast. On this episode, I got to share a very insightful conversation with my friend Claire Lucas. Claire is a yoga, pilates and meditation instructor, adventurer and such a bright and lovely human with a big love for life. We spoke about topics including breaking free of the social norm, listening to your intuition, the importance of having a growth mindset, finding your own path in life, enjoying the journey, healing childhood blocks, accepting your past gratitude, choosing who you want to be, and focusing on the positives plus much more. We'd only met on instagram a few weeks before this podcast. We had such good vibes after a few conversations that I had to get her on the podcast. This was actually the first time we met in person and wow. This conversation was epic. I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too.

Speaker 2: 1:07

The conscious part. My name is Carlos, reload and this is your place to cultivate wisdom, awareness, life insights to raise your being and become more conscious in your daily life.

Speaker 1: 1:25

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Speaker 3: 4:13

Claire, how are you? I'm good, Kelly. How are you? Excellent. Thank you to today. Oh God, I've know. Not Too much actually. Um, it was a beautiful day. So took the dog out, always down to the beach for a bit of a war and then had some breakfast I had. It's cold. Yeah, it was very cold actually. I think I didn't realize how cold it wasn't and I was like, I can't feel my fingers all my time. Um, yeah. And then made my way into. See you were at higher ground in Melbourne also where we recorded one of the episodes before and I'm like, it's just my favorite players. So we were coming in here. This is actually the first time we've met. I've met on instagram. Hashtag Insta pals have made everyone these days. I'm so in the country now. It's, it's all the same people you get to meet anyone. So I'm like, I'm just gonna have to rely on the Internet a little bit differently. A pro of social media. So one of the only. What are you most excited about in life right now? God, I think more than anything. The, the unknown. Yep. Yep. So yeah, I kind of just think like this whole next chapter of my life is very different to anything that I've kind of experienced so far in life and not knowing any of that or what it holds is kind of the most exciting part. Just following me, my intuition, my goals, and kind of just making sure everything I do is aligning with my values and finding where that takes me very important. And that's cool. I could agree with that one as well. So for those that don't know you, what's a wrap up of your until now

Speaker 4: 5:58

and so now what you're doing now, but then also what's happened starting from now. I'll starting from starting from scratch. Scratch as far back as you want to go. Like obviously you on. Um, but I don't know if you can remember much there. I couldn't. Well I guess starting from, from childhood, like I um, I didn't really have the most um, you know, I suppose normal childhood growing up I had, I didn't really have my parents around too much. Um, I grew up in a very different environment. I had um, my parents would suppose the billy not to. We probably weren't ready to be parents when they, when they had um, all of us kids and I'm one of five. So, um, big family. Um, and yeah, I was probably about the age of 16. I actually moved, um, moved out of home, started living with my sister, um, uh, from there, kind of moved a little bit back in from home, um, and then at the age of, um, of 18, kind of got to the point where I was like, well, I feel like I know what I want from life. And it wasn't surrounding myself with, um, you know, people who weren't really aligning the values the same as me. So I always really kind of drawn away from that sense of negativity and I suppose trying to find my feet within all of that. Um, yeah, kind of branching out into a lot of different sort of things. Um, it's kind of where my, my journey into yoga really be gone into a lot of self discovery. I'm a little personal development sort of work. I was lucky enough at the, um, at the age of 18 I met my, um, my first slash longest relationship partner. Um, and with the help of ice, he's human. Um, and he's family network. It really drew me into a very different environment because I never really had that family kind of surrounding, um, to begin with. Um, and then from there kind of got a sense of, I suppose it very, how would I say it without making it sound too, I don't know, to, um, almost like that suburban family classic lifestyle that I didn't really know how to fit into that very well. So I always like, I knew that I wanted to be a part of that, but I was just felt a little bit outside of the box, like a little bit outside of the school year. I was like, Oh, this is, I guess really cool. Like I feel like a sense of belonging, but it just didn't feel right. Like it didn't feel like me. And then so following my journey with my, my ex partner now, which is a whole nother candle wounds as, um, through that whole for this, I mean we grew together, we grew apart group together. We grow pot and we were very young when we got together. But there was always a part of me that was like, I don't know if you know this classic, you know, let's get married, buy a house, build a house, which is what we did, settle down and just leave these suburban lifestyle, which is kind of, you know, the life that I was just ruining to with everyone around you. Like you know, you kind of just surrounded by whatever you are at the time and you kind of get wrapped up with it all. I, whoever's in your life at that point in time, like they're getting married, they're having kids. So you're like, okay, well let's now turn to get married, get. Yeah, that's exactly right. So I'm kind of following through that path. Well, it really did get to the point where I was like, he's the easiest one I want, like easiest for me. Like, there's so many things that I'm being drawn to that I'm pushing aside and, you know, it was almost like my entire intuition that I was letting myself put a block in front of'em to be someone who I thought I was supposed to be as I suppose is the best way to say it. Um, and then a really wasn't into. It was actually probably. I mean, this is kind of the last five years of my life. I really, I'm kind of tapped into a lot more of my intuition and slowly started to get to know myself in a whole different, a whole different way. And that's probably more so for a lot of, um, my yoga and my training and things like that. Um, but then, um, often my relationship came to an end. It, Omar's was like a sense of, um, I had let myself completely open up my entire intuition and just knew that I was following my gut. Like I was following my heart completely. Which, um, was a big thing to kind of come to terms with in a way. Like, there was a lot of guilt. A lot of attachment that you kind of have to let go or that you just think, you know, there's so many other things that I could be, you know, putting before me in which I was, but it was just, it was my time to really do me, which is a little bit exciting at the moment because it is the Ulnar and that I'm kind of Yale unraveling now and yeah, this last year has been an epic change for me and everything somehow has just been falling into place. Exactly how it's meant to be. Like everything is just aligned in why is it. It's just indescribable

Speaker 5: 11:22

because I know a bit of your story but not too much, which is good because I'm getting to know you more as well and a big thing that kept coming up with your values, like you're very strong in your values. Do you think that when you're in that situation, whether it was surrounded by that family and those, I guess the social norm of living life that way, that was to you? It was like, this is definitely not part of my values. Like I do want, obviously have a good relationship, a good family life, but it's just not aligning with me right now, 100 percent

Speaker 4: 11:55

I think as well because I'm like, as I started doing a lot of um, I don't know as far as like peeling back the layers of my own life and you know, like really getting through my own blocks and figuring out what it was, what I wanted from life and what was getting in my way. Um, well, you know, when you're, when you're in a relationship for such a long amount of time, like you almost just become, you know, like that person's a part of you in Europe, Europe, part of them. So you kind of don't know where everything you do just individually. No, no, that's exactly right. So like everything that I was uncovering, I was, it was a lucky if we were doing that together, then I was almost just putting a block straight back up again because if it wasn't aligning with what, you know, we're, we were going, what we were doing then, was it right for me? Like was my, was I following the right path? Um, which that was kind of again, like one of those things where it's like, okay, well, what am I choosing my choosing to follow my head and what I think is meant to be right? Or Am I choosing to follow my heart? And actually, yeah, just breaking free of all of these things that you're, you know, you're surrounding yourself by that. Again, like, you know, you kind of put into this little box that's meant to be the norm, which is actually funny because I've had, I think two or three people in the loop just in the last week, um, site to me pretty much the exact same thing. They're like, oh, you're one of those people that just don't fit in that box. Like you just, you never meant to be in that little square that you know, is following that one path. Like there's so much more that you know, you're meant to be doing and experiencing and yeah, just telling me before you book a trip to one. Oh yeah. You haven't always. Yeah, it was on the computer and I was like, oh go. I just book it. And I was like, well hang on a minute. Maybe I just need to wrap it up a little step back. We just kind of always been this whole year. It's um, it's Kinda just been everything that I have, um, everything that I've just done and he's been very, um, I suppose sporadic to say the least. Um, Yay. Yeah, that's it. So it's kind of, I'm pretty much from the moment, um, this is gonna sound really bad, but from the moment that my relationship had ended, I, you know, obviously you go through that kind of you say is, which you know, is normal, but at the same time, like I just had this energetic sense of relief and excitement in a way that I was like, well, this is my time, like I'm doing exactly what I want to do and what feels right for me. If it's not right, then hey, I'm going to learn along the way. Like it's only, yeah, it's only going to benefit me in some way or another. But I literally just went. I was like, all right, what do I want to do? And I went and booked all of the trainings that I knew I wanted to do. Um, funnily enough, one of the trainings that I went in deed, which are probably only a matter of weeks after, um, you know, my relationship had come to an end. I had actually booked up the start of the year and it was part of my yoga training and it was all about the training was cool, purpose of being, and it was all about finding your blogs, finding good values, finding your, you know, your, your beliefs in life and your purpose and what exactly is stopping you from getting there. Like aligning your goals and your values and if there's a reason why, you know, getting there, there's, you know, there's something that's in the why and ultimately it's only the things that you're putting there. And um, and coming out of that will firstly going into that, I was like, oh dear God, like this, I am not ready for this now. Like I could not dive into all of these, but coming out of that was probably the biggest, most life changing week of my life. Like it was a real wake up call for me. Um, and from there I was pretty much like, all right, this is what I want. Like this is my vision, these are my goals and I'm not letting anything get in my way. And from that moment, everything that I've found myself either hesitating on, um, or doubting myself, I've instantly just, like picked myself up on it and I'm like, Hey, what is it like, what are you doing? I'm like, where is this coming from? Because it's only coming from internally. Yeah. Like it's only a self doubt or self belief that I have and for whatever reason, you know, it could be, I don't know, like not believing in myself for, you know, when it arose from childhood. That's exactly right. Yep. That's exactly it. Um, so I think that I'm learning how to pick up those triggers has um, it's Omar, I committed. It's incredible. I could something that until you actually get to that point where you can find them. You mean one, you just constantly keep finding more and more of the. But it almost becomes a little bit of a, like I feel like daily, like I'll do something, come in, I'll think, well hang on a minute, like, what are you doing? This makes me laugh. I'm like, oh my God, look exactly as I'm going through that process and having a coach. And then understanding was, honestly, I think it would have spoken about is my ego just stepped up and was like, I don't have any problems. I got started. She started like pulling back more layers and I'm like, I feel like I was the opposite. I'm like, oh, to go a little bit messed up to this. I don't know if I want to dive right into these, it's going to be too many things. But it's actually been as, I don't know if this is gonna sound a little bit weird, but it's actually been quite fun or amusing. Omar's like, because I've just, it's allowed me to live life so much more lightheartedly and it's just, it's taught me so much more about like the people I want in my life. Um, and again, like where I want to be. Like it's just really realigned all of my values, all of my goals, like, and know that like I am only a product of what I want to be. Like. It doesn't matter where I've come from, what I've been through, um, you know, what my experiences are like no matter, no matter what, like who I want to be aware of when a be like, that's ultimately my choice. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of, you mentioned a while ago before in that question say

Speaker 5: 17:50

well and been enjoying it as usual. You said I'm either going to do what I want to do or it's either going to be great or I'm going to learn. And I like that because at the end of the day you can follow the system structure of the normal life of go to school, go to uni, get a job, have kids buy one car, big house enough to fit everyone and just survive. And that's fine, but I don't know, like I've been through this similar sort of thing. Obviously totally different situations, but having a long relationship and then that ending and then I was just like, you know, what would really want to do? And it was like I want to go. And I just went and it was like, okay, well, you know, the ideal vision of that didn't happen. Like I still went overseas, didn't make pro, but I still had an amazing experience and now I can look back and go, well, that was something I always wanted to do. I didn't go, man. I'd be thinking about after the rest of my life going, why didn't I go? Why haven't I traveled? Why haven't I tried things? Even if even if they quote unquote fail, it's a learning process. It was a lesson I think. I think it's becoming more, more normal, I guess normal to see that happening with people, but I think it's just may attracting those people into my life that are on that conscious level. Like everyone listening to this, you're all conscious, so thanks for listening. And you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4: 19:17

We eat nothing. If you don't take those, you know those opportunities and those leaps of faith like you, you're not expanding, you're not opening your mind to and you're not. You know, you're not giving yourself that chance to grow or to make mistakes as such because ultimately you know what the worst that could happen. That's exactly right. That's almost like, well, I keep saying now like what is the worst that could happen? Like any. If it makes you nervous, if it makes you scared, then that's like, that's where the biggest moments of your life. Because if you don't have any emotional connection around it, then it doesn't mean enough to you. Like you're not going to learn. You're not going to grow from it. Where if you already have, you know, all of those, you know, thoughts and feelings and emotions are already in the forefront of your mind. Then it's going to make an impact one way or another. Whether or not it's going to make you grow, it's going to change something in your life like it's going to have an impact and whatever the impacts might be is the uninfected human to get from it.

Speaker 5: 20:14

Wow. I've been making a note to like really listened to paper when I'm in these interviews and I do and there's so much information and I'm going to have to listen back to this idea. No, I'm listening to a podcast. I'm like, oh, I need to listen to this again and take notes. I need to actually like, it's supposed to be something we do autonomous with everything else, but I'm gonna have to get a piece of paper and write stuff. No, I need to make like a little, um, like a little girl listen out of it, like going to a uni lecturer or something. Love it. What's one profound realization you've had this year?

Speaker 4: 20:54

Oh, I think kind of just going back to a lot of the changes that I've had this year and really diving into these completely new chapter of my life that the biggest realization is that my choices are always my life. He's up to me like, you know, my choices. Uh, you know, their mind. Like I get to choose where I want to be, what I want to do, the people that are going to be surrounded by me, I'm only going to come from, you know, what I'm sending out there. So whether you want that, that's it. Like it's kind of, it's been a, it's actually been again, pretty funny realization because the minute I always noticed is like whenever I change my, you know, like I think it just comes back to, you know, whatever you're sending out in the world is always going to come back to you no matter what it is and the amount of people that I've crossed paths with and even yourself flag the just the amount of people I have met and the who have given me the most amazing advice in the last, you know, six to nine months and I've taken on a whole new level has really kind of just tea. It just constantly shifting me and it's just pushing me more and more towards where I know I'm meant to be. Like it's just really clearing through all of that self doubt. Like all of those little things that I would have let you know hold way back in the past and it is just that sense of follow you got like, follow your heart, follow your intuition. Like no matter what it is you want to call it, it's there for a reason and whatever, you know, wherever you kind of want to think that your guidance is coming from, it's coming from somewhere and whether or not it's, you know, you're on a spiritual path. Are you going to, you just think that you've got, you know, just these feelings or if it's just purely coming from a goal, like whatever it is that you feel it's right for you and you only is the only thing that you need to be doing. Ultimately. Like you can be surrounded by all of the materialistic things in the world, like all of the people in the world, but you're constantly trying to please all of those other things or put all of those things in front of you. You know, going to get anywhere. It's not going to give you any fulfillment is I'm going to give you happiness because everything always starts from within

Speaker 5: 23:11

and the byproduct of your environment. That's that's who you are and the funny thing is is that so we've got mutual friends and people that we know there, but it wasn't through that that I've found you came across you on in. I said, I only found out that you can follow Hashtags, right? I didn't even know you could do that. Then you go so you can follow hashtags because I went through a massive coal and getting rid of people that I just don't want. Whether it was just following, whether it was guys that were fitness and going, oh my God, I want a buddy like that. It was just, it was not giving me the right things, good goals, but not, you know, you've got to again, surround yourself with good stuff and some people just following it. It was just crying. So I started noticing that he could follow hashtags and I started following conscious mind awareness. All of those, and obviously there's a few that are fitness models putting awareness on their post and you can't help that, but most of the time it's a lot of good quotes, affirmation stuff that I'm sending you.

Speaker 4: 24:19

I'm sorry,

Speaker 5: 24:21

spam. I'm going to find something. I share it. And um, yeah, you were actually came up on the Hashtag awareness and I was like, oh, cool. I can't remember the exact one. Clicked on it. And I'm like, Oh yeah, she's from Melbourne. And I was like, Oh yeah. And then there was like vernice and I'm like, oh my God, I need to contact this. Hey Claire, how are you doing saying this on this? We need to chat. And um, it's been great.

Speaker 4: 24:45

Which is cool. It's amazing. You have things like that happen like that. He's just old and I think it's kind of, I don't know, sometimes I'm, sometimes I really do. I really feel like I need to take a step back and um, I'm like, you can of pick and choose who you talk to her sometimes about particular things and more and more lightly. I kind of just, um, I mean, you probably know, like I'm, I'm one of those people I can. It's good to kind of go into these like word vomit, almost like, let's did you Asian in the more I've found that I'm doing that, the more people that I'm connecting with on a completely different level. And I'm like, oh my God, hey look, I want to know more about being so, you know, you've changed Mike. My perspective on this are much more. And even like, just even as simple as, um, you know, like little things that I'll start talking about like, um, you know, in, in my teaching, you know, it's just, it's changing people's perspective and it's just trying to open people's minds up to something else. And, you know, it might just be the smallest of things that you know, you're, you know, you're giving to someone else or you know, that you're impacting their life. But if you're allowing someone to expand in the slightest way, like you're just getting them into that journey to find that awareness, that consciousness, like it's not something that was going to say it's something that we're born with, but it's kind of almost just something that's embedded in us to, from such a young age to close down our minds, like we were taught to almost suppress our emotions and our feelings. If it's not in the norm, then it's, everything's very shadowed. Like everything's very, you know, there's a lead on everything. And um, and I know for myself personally like that was, that was how I lived. Like I lived my childhood, like I was never, I never had the ability to talk about what I was going through. And, and again, growing up without, you know, really having my parents around very much like, I never had that network. So you feel like, oh, I can talk about what's going on or what I'm feeling or thinking. So from a very young age I had that embedded in me too to suppress what was going on. And it's really, I think, yeah, like the last few years that I'm like, hey, you know, like the more you talk, the more you're going to grow, like the more people you're going to help. And that's probably been my main, I think journey now, like trying to help more and more people find that awareness, that consciousness, like really allowing people

Speaker 3: 27:08

to, I don't know, almost is just dive into yourself like, you know, take a step back, look internally like look what's going on, like question, why you aren't where you want to be. And you know, it's not easy. It's not meant to be easy, but you will start to find the answers and you can do those things. It's just figuring out how to do them and also figuring out yourself to move forward. Is it, like you said, there's blogs and like we've been saying this whole time is that you've figured them out and you move through them and worked out how to remove them and that has given you the chance to be able to do the things you want to do. Live your values, obviously follow your passion, purpose, all that sort of stuff. So I think that's very important that people figure that out. Yep. Yeah, that's exactly. And um, I mean, like I said, it's, it's definitely, it's not easy and this is something that one of my, like one of my main teachers, I'm like, he says it all the time and that's where I first started learning all of this stuff was just purely through doing my yoga teacher training. This is how all of these started to unravel in a world

Speaker 4: 28:15

I know to begin with. I went into and I was like, oh yeah, like this is, this is fine. Like you don't. Like I, I know my shit. Like I know, I know, you know, it's um, you know, I know what's hurt me. Like I know the things that I hold really close to my heart that the minute they triggered, I have all the same emotions, the same feelings, the same anxieties that come up in the same things that all, you know, that I will let block me from allowing any of that to come up. Like I know that they're there, but then one, there's one thing to know that they're there in them is one whole new thing to work through them and then to observe them in a way that when you're watching them arise, being able to be like, okay, hey, like that's that feeling that comes up when I'm uncertain about something and then I thought that self doubt or you know, the anxiety comes up around something and instantly shut down and you know, you don't let yourself expand anymore. Being able to see all of that like unfolding and then it's almost just kind of, you know, you viewing your mind and your thoughts and your feelings as a third person almost and being able to like, okay, hey, this is going on still, but like it's. Yeah, it's a pretty profound kind of realization to get to.

Speaker 3: 29:27

I think it was a big realization when you then notice that you are not your thoughts, you're the consciousness behind that. You said you becoming the best of the Avatar, becoming exactly right. Unplugging

Speaker 5: 29:41

from it and then going, ah, this is, this is why I do this. This is why I'm holding back from this, this is why I do these certain things and this is why my life is this way. Then like you were saying before, is that you have the ability to choose what you want to do, so go do it. That is exactly right, but you've got it. You've got to step away and have that, I guess learn it from somewhere. Hopefully the conscious podcast is helping you with that to raise awareness and charges this, but pulling yourself out of that matrix that you're in your own head, that can be overwhelming and I've experienced that where it's just that can create anxiety that can create. I'm just so, so much different on emotion that it just fueled your head and you feel like you've got so much going on and you're not stepping away from it, and as soon as you do, you go, oh, hello. Why? Why? Even thinking of even worried about that.

Speaker 4: 30:35

Yep. It's just the fresh. Yep, that's exactly right. That's it. And then if you just choose to let that ball go, like release that thought and it's not even necessarily ignoring those thoughts or feelings. Again, it just comes down to being aware of them. Like just being conscious that they're there and those particular thoughts that you know, that come about that at the forefront of your mind regardless of what feeling or emotion that they're giving you. If those thoughts are so predominant, like you should be paying attention to them because they either one, they, they their fee to pay attention to. They're there for you to either learn something from, for you to, to work through for you, you know, whatever it might be. Like they're there for a reason. It's the connection between, you know, the, the emotional or physical harm or whatever it might be that is causing from those thoughts. That is what you need to kind of address. Almost like, you know, if those thoughts are there and you know, they're giving you that anxiety, it's like, well hey, I can work through these thoughts and you know, figure out why they're there. But that emotional attachment doesn't need to be there because essentially out our feelings on a real thing, I started make them. Yep. That's it. And it always just comes down to

Speaker 5: 31:53

perception of everything. Everything is a neutral event. We give it meaning and how it affects us. Yes, that's exactly. What is the best advice you've ever been given?

Speaker 4: 32:08

Oh, I feel like there's a few things that have really stuck with me. One was that quote that I sent you the other day, I do not know it off by heart. It was that the gratitude. Oh Wow. That's a long one to remember ladies. That's actually. That was probably. That was. I don't even know where I read that, where I came across it. It was such a long time ago and it made such a massive shift in my life. And I suppose putting a lot of sense to bring a lot of sense, I guess around everything that happens in my life. I've just looked it up. Yeah. So the sound this part. So gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos, into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures, failures into success, and the unexpected into perfect timing. It turns mistakes into important events. Gratitude. My extensive, our pos brings pace today and create division for tomorrow. And when I read that, I was just like, wow, just wow. Like, speechless. And I think more than anything because I'm the one sentence in that was it makes sense of our past and for me, like always thinking that, you know, trying to figure out why I've gone through what I've gone through in life. Like, you know, what, I just have never felt a connection to my past because I've never really known where I've come from. A bit of annoying the people in my past. I've never known the family behind that. Um, or had any, you know? Yeah, I suppose just knit. Never connected to them. So not making sense of that. But then being able to get to the point of being like, Hey, like, you know, they're, they're who they are for a reason and I don't who they are isn't a reflection of me and I can appreciate that. Step away from that and without attachment, just be grateful for the fact that I'm here today and I'm where I am because of them, which also comes down to another probably another piece of advise that, um, I was given which might have pretty big impact on my life was, um, you're not, you're not trying to think of what it was. Now I'm, you'll note what has happened to you. You are who you choose to be. So again, like just detaching from that past and allowing yourself the permission to choose who you want to be. So that was, um, that was also one of my other teachers on, throughout my training as well. And another really, um, another really kind of life changing piece of advice actually was on the free training. This is a very big way for me and I'm on the science writing. I am, I had another, another teacher and other mental side of me. I was always pretty much like, you know, going in a bit of a ramble to him, you know, kind of questioning so many things out loud and he just happened to be the person that was listening to at the time. Um, and he said to me, he goes, he goes, you don't need to, you don't need to slow down, you don't need to do anything else for anyone else, but you. And he goes, there's so much that you have to offer. You just need to believe in yourself. So shine bright and just go for gold, like over the stars, like don't let anything or anyone hold you back. The only time you need to slow down is when you know what's right for you. And like that. Yeah. When he said that, I was like, do you know what that's really like? It's that simple. Like I think that life is so much more simple than what we actually make it out to be. We put all of this pressure, well, you know, we give all of these expectations to as our spot. Why like two feet again to fit into the norm, fit into the box. So then who, who's actually defining who. Yeah, what that normally is. Yeah. Like wait, did that come from it? If it's just because of our surrounding it that time?

Speaker 5: 36:23

Yeah. Okay. A few things come up in there. It was, I can't remember who, what quote it was on the, on the second piece of advice that you had it and was something that's always stuck with me is be open to everything and attached to nothing. Yes. Yeah. Once you give attachment to something that controls you to everything. If someone has a view that's not the view that you have, but if you're open to it, you'll accept it and go, okay, interesting. And opening your, your mindset, your mind frame to new things. If you're attached to one idea but the ID isn't, isn't right or doesn't go well, then you want to go down that path. You don't want to go down. That's it. And then what were you saying just before that last little advice

Speaker 4: 37:10

about I'm shining bright and not slowing down and list it feels right for you. So I think that comes down to again like listening to the scene, to your intuition, listening to your heart like and that sell love, like knowing what is best for you in every situation because again, it, everything, everything starts from inside. Like if, if you're not looking after yourself, like if you're not giving yourself the time of, of day, like if you're not honoring your values, your goals, what's best for you, then you can't. You can't offer any, anyone or anything else like you can't you, you can't serve the world the way that you think that you're meant to be because you've got to do that first. Like it, it all comes down to that internal connection. Yeah. That's putting your oxygen mask don first. I made it a hard thing to. It's a hard thing to comprehend to begin with because you know, everyone I think feels like, well if I'm helping everyone else first, then I'm being a good person. Yeah. Like it's making me feel good and it almost seems selfish to then turn around and say, well, no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Look after me. I'm going to look up to you, but you can't. You're looking after yourself and looking after that like you cannot wholeheartedly, openly, honestly give someone else your all,

Speaker 3: 38:36

unless you've already given that to yourself. Have remembered what I was going to say before. The second thing was living simply, we put so much pressure and expectation and stuff and it's whenever you look at photos or documentaries and stuff of people that live, let's say in the tribal places or countries that don't have much and the very little that they have, but yet they're so happy. They know they're not trying to keep up with the Kardashians. They're trying to. They don't even have cars, so they're not going, oh my God, I need to get this car because of this is what people will think of me, and they're just. They were worried about food and water. That's exactly right. I was actually watching your documentary. We have a with dancing and singing their. Yes, and isn't it amazing because if you ask them what if you need to just completely let go and completely just, I don't know what, like what are the two things that make you like, that make you happy or carefree or it's singing and dancing for most people. I can just cities. It's like carefree, like it's so energizing. Like it's so simple. The one quote that that brings to mind is less is more, less stress equals more productivity, less less acquaintances, but more close relationships. The value in everything. Yes, definitely. So look, I think minimalism is for is for a lot of people. For some people. I get it like people want things simplifying your life, man. It brings so much joy. I think it's um, I think again it comes down to the attachment that you're holding towards all of those, you know, towards everything in your life. Like if you're holding attachment to, you know, anything that's, you know, I suppose all the materialistic things and expecting them to fulfill you. You didn't have, we're going to get anywhere. Like you're really not sorry. For some people it's going to really work for them finding that you know, that minimalistic life and for other people that can be like, okay, hey, like I really want any pair of shoes. I really like those shoes but I'm not attached to whether or not going to have them. They're not actually going to give me any benefit, but that's not gonna make me. No, that's exactly. That's exactly right. That's it. It's not going to give me, you know, like a new title or a new. Yeah, a new look. Well to. It'll be great for your feet. Yeah, I think it's never. Usually the most expensive ones are the most comfy, but yes. No, so you need shoes. You actually don't. It's probably better if we didn't wear shoes, but actually talking about this yesterday to someone, I was like, God, I love being able to like the thing, the best part about being like doing like yoga and pilates is the fact that I just don't have to issues like I just. And then when I go to my day job, when I'm sitting here in my heels, I'm like, there's no one around us. And I kicked my shoes off under my. And

Speaker 5: 41:35

Day jobs require that people do look at you a little bit. You behind a desk, you can hide it. What advice would you give to your 16 year old self? So this is actually

Speaker 4: 41:50

no, I could, I could find. I've kind of find this question a little bit hard to. I don't know. So it's hard to answer because in a way, if no matter what advice you give yourself at that age, I think that you know, you just don't know. Like I mean in everyone at the age is obviously different, but why don't I don't think a lot of people at that age are ready to take on advice like you need to experience whatever is going to pan out in your life. Like it's there for you to learn. And that is the experience that you know, they're the things that's going to shape you and mold you in. Its ultimately how you take all of that onboard and how you react and grow from that. That's going to make you who you got to be. Um, so I don't know, I suppose more than anything just I would, if I could, I would just say trust. Just trust yourself. Like, you know, trust your values, trust your goals, trust what you know is right within you, like don't let anything or anyone else holds you back from that. Like don't let fear or self guilt or self doubt hold you back from what you know is meant to be your path or meant to be, you know, within your journey. Like don't, don't listen anything that feels right within you. That's awesome. Yeah, that's it. That's it. And I think because at that age, like you know, you're kind of juggling between all these different things and most people they're in school like it's, you're trying to figure out who you are, trying to figure out the people around you. You kind of just figuring out where you fit into these crazy whirlwind of a world and you can't really put your feet on the ground and ground yourself and be like, hey, this is who I am. This is what I'm doing. Like at that age, it's, it's a pretty overwhelming time for most people. Um, and I know for me like, I mean I was, I was so, so lucky enough to have such an awesome support in my sister who was looking after me at that hydrogen got a thing to think about it. I don't even know how because she was in the 18 that I'm like, we just really rallied and buddied up together and got through what was, you know, not the best of times, but I mean, we even still just sit back now and laugh and think, God, how on Earth did we turn out to be, you know, two pretty okay.

Speaker 5: 44:17

Tell that to your inbox in your life. Okay. So what is the worst

Speaker 4: 44:28

that's ever happened to you and how is that the best thing that's ever happened to you? Sign this before? I don't there is, I don't unbelieving worst things, like I don't believe that. I mean things are gonna you're gonna go through the things that are going to hurt. They're not going to be nice or pleasant at the time, but you know, to say that they're the worst things. Like there's always something that's, that could be where it's like you're always going to gain something as you go, who's going to gain something out of it. But this is probably the three main things that, um, have I suppose, you know, changed my life the most was, I mean, like just, I suppose there's my whole childhood in, in one nutshell, you know, living, I suppose, you know, the way I was, you know, I had um, I had my father who was quite an abusive alcoholic. My mom had a lot of um, you know, sort of mental struggles through that as well. Obviously, you know, being the wife of someone who is along that. Yeah. Along those lines, um, which has its own repercussions. So, you know, I watched my mom go from, you know, being a normal person is a normal mom, you as you witnessed as a child to then developing these, you know, these mental illnesses and, and, you know, turning to alcoholism and eating disorders as a coping mechanism. Um, so going through that was, you know, it's quite traumatic and again, um, you know, as I've had a very early age made me decide who I wanted to be. So like I had such strong values around what I knew I wanted to surround my life by because I knew that I didn't want that. Like I knew I never wanted to have that in my life. Like I knew that there was more true to life then then what I was surrounded by growing up. Um, and then I would probably say, I mean in a way like, you know, coming out of a nine year relationship was probably again, like probably, I wouldn't say the worst thing as like, I mean I probably again, one of the most life shifting moments of my life. So, um, I guess it kind of falls into that category, um, but probably the biggest, um, probably the biggest thing, which again, I wouldn't say the worst, but when I'm. So I lost my Nan if three years ago now and um, and it sounds bad to say about the worst thing because it was heartbreaking at the time, was probably the worst thing, the worst thing, the most emotionally challenging thing I has been through, even though the other two things is still just as bad, if not worse in a sense. It was the thing that really it's through me the most, like it threw me so much more than I could've ever expected. And it wasn't until after I lost my Nan net, I found some sort of sense of connection to her afterwards in a whole new. I like it. It was just a life changing experience that I started to find my way into this kind of almost spiritual journey. Knowing that there's more out there, you know, there's more to life. Like there's more, why is it you can find guidance throughout your life. Like, um, yeah, this is kind of a bit of a whirlwind of a, of a story. This don't read this the other day about 1111. Yep. Yeah. So we, um, we were assigned to you that I always grew up like with my Nana telling me to make a wish at 11, 11, they know, wish why all the, all the bad things and wish you all the good things in life. And I used to just always do this with her, with everyone in my life. Like everyone around me knows that I would do this and even like friends will look at the clock and I had messaged me that I could let them live in, like have you met Jewish? Um, and um, it was probably halfway through last year. I was halfway through some of my training. Um, I was planning a wedding, I was just moved into this, you know, crazy brand new house that we had just built. Um, and I just felt like I was trying to leave tree completely different lives. Like I was living this, I don't know, I suppose, you know, suburban lifestyle with the house. The jobs we were just trying to figure out the next step, whatever the next step was that just fitted into the plan. And then I was following this journey that I was constantly being drawn true through my training and out of nowhere I just wake up one day and I was like, I feel like I really need to talk to my dad. Like I just needed to get some advice around what I'm doing and why I just felt this. Like I just felt so torn between these two worlds. And then. So I had been recommended by someone to go and see a clairvoyant. And so I called her up and um, and I was like, oh, hey, I just wanted to make an appointment. I was little bit skeptical at the time, but I just felt like if I go and say he's going, I'll be able to talk to my dad. Like I was just convinced just the morning I woke up and um, and she's normally really hard to get into. So you normally, if you know, you put a book in your wait for. I just go and say her and she's like, Oh, I've actually, I'm a cancellation if you can come in like in an hour. And I was like, oh, okay, all right. Just don't even think about it. Like don't have time to think to. I like just waiting there. And um, and I was sitting in um, in her room at the time, I think my appointment was at 10:30 and it got to 1111 on the clock. I am, I am, yeah. And I go to 1111 on the clock and she just stopped dot froze and she why? What happened to live in the why, what's living a living. And I was like, that's so weird. Like that's, you know, I used to always make a wish to live in 11 and she was basically like, you know, when you're noticing these things, like it's things that you're manifesting in your life. Like you know, it's, you need to watch for these signs. Like, and I know for me like it was kind of connecting to that spiritual sense. Like I know that there's guidance, I know that I can believe that there is, no matter what I do, no matter, you know, how far I fall, there's always going to be something guiding me back onto the path I'm meant to, you know, full on and whether or not that is, you know, the intuition, whether or not it's your gut feeling, whether or not you believe in God or whatever it might be. That's giving you that sense of connection to a higher power. For me, it just resonated so much because I was like, Yep, it's my Nan, my Nan. He's guiding me through these hard times and allowing me to make the choices that I need to, to fall into the path that I needed to take. And it was, yeah, it was almost just like a, like a sense of reassurance. Omar's just at that moment in my life and I was all I needed to know that I was doing what was right for me. Yeah. You're exactly where you need to be. Yep. Yep. That's exactly right. Yep. And then the day she, um, the day she actually passed away, was the first of the 11th?

Speaker 5: 52:01

Yeah, inside the 11th. The 11th at 1111. No, no. Quite funny thing is I actually took a. I took a screenshot on that exact time and day. It's a shame that the screensaver I had at the time is someone that I was dating at the time, but I'm sure I can photoshop that out. I'll still got it. Still got it today. I know. It's amazing how that he thinks just happened. Like, you know, whatever your, whatever you want

Speaker 4: 52:27

paying attention to in your life, like whatever you're giving, you enter your any g two, that's where your attention's going to get your attention. Goes there. Like it all comes back to you know that you're manifesting what you want in your life. Like you know where your attention goes. Energy flows. And yet again, it comes down to that choice. If you're focusing on all the negative things in life, like if you're focusing on all the bad things, all the what ifs, they all the things that's going to be at the forefront of every step of the way. What is a topic that something that you think needs to be talked about more in society? Oh God, I think does everything we've been talking about like just that's completely, that's self awareness. The consciousness, like the whole, just everything about it. Like I think our entire society would be so different if everyone could take a step back and just be a lot more open minded and be able to assess what's going on. Like internally really because 90 percent of people's reactions and actions and thoughts and feelings are all coming from a place that isn't necessarily with the right intention. Like, and not that they mean to or know that. And I know that like I've gone through that myself. Um, but to be able to overcome that is, it's almost like, it's such a freeing sense. Like it's, you know, you almost just feel kind of site enlightened or you know, but

Speaker 3: 54:02

no, I did not to sound too. Yeah,

Speaker 4: 54:04

they shy, felt like it. It's such a freeing feeling like, you know, you're not, you're not held back by anything, like you're not. Yeah, I agree. Yep. So would, it would, it would just cause, yeah, it would just been impacted massive, massive shifts and it's not something that's taught in schools is not, you know, it's not embedded into people's lives. Like it wasn't something that any of our parents were ever taught. It's not something that. So the whole generation after generation, it's just like this cycle that just keeps going and I think it's getting a lot better now, but there just needs to be a lot more massive implications to put stuff like this in place. Like, and whether or not it comes down to um, you know, teaching a lot more psychology or just that cognitive behavioral therapy sort of training in schools and things like that. But um, yeah, the impact of it is just phenomenal.

Speaker 3: 55:02

I think we can speak on behalf of ourselves, but it's something that I know that for me it's something I want to have an impact in the world and doing stuff exactly like this because it's getting it more out there, but it's, it's different on the next generation, sort of 16 year olds now that are coming through in this world that again, we were in a totally different situation when we were 16 sober out parents when I was 16 and the generation before and that's where like it's funny talking to my family and just seeing all the difference. Oh and I was 16 or it's a totally different world. Lucky can't compare to that. Like you were doing the best he could with what you had. We're doing the best we could and then all these blocks we have in our life is not from just from my parents. It's from our parents, parents, parents. It's just generations of stuff. Yeah, that's exactly right. And it just all passed down one after another and you know, it's got to start somewhere and it might be the blessing or the curse that it happens to you and you're going to unravel all the shit. Yeah. But look at the good side.

Speaker 4: 56:04

Exactly right. And I think, you know, the more, the more you start to uncover these things, like, I mean, the more just the more pace that you have internally, like the more happiness you can just find naturally without outsourcing it. And actually this comes back for another quote that

Speaker 3: 56:21

isn't that just another I,

Speaker 4: 56:24

um, I had from one of, um, one of my teachers and it was the amount of happiness that you, you, you will experience in life will be determined by the amount of uncertainty you can live with. And just accepting that what is, is, is what is. And you don't have control over anything in live but yourself. Your own thoughts, your own feelings, your emotions. And when you come to terms with that, you, I think it eases such a humbling sensation because as long as it's coming from internally, then everything else can happen around you and you know that you can react. Yeah. Yup. That's it. What's most meaningful to you in life? Right now? I'm staying true to myself. Yup. Which, um, yeah, I think that's probably, I'm definitely at the forefront of, you know, this kind of, this just this next chapter that I'm taking, just ensuring that Diane and Diane, I'm looking after myself. I'm putting myself before any other decision that I make and it's something that, I mean it's been a very big shift, like a, like obviously we're vain saying, um, and it's something that I have never done before. Like I've always been the one to put everything and everyone else before me. Um, and now that I've started doing that, like I have been able to find that just a whole new level of gratitude to life. Like just a whole new sense of freedom. Love it. Where can people follow you more? Um, oh, go appropriately. I'm going to say on social media, but I'm really not. I'm really not too much of an advocate for, um, technical snow. Yeah. I would say I would probably say instagram, like that's probably the easiest, the easiest flight. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Um, yeah, so definitely feel free to um, yeah, to come and contact me, hang out. Obviously love a little bit of a, a little bit of a ramble. But yeah, I always try and um, yeah, obviously like with my teaching and stuff like that, I am a good listener. I feel like people don't generally get much of a word and when they talked to me and most of my friends would probably say the same thing as well. Um, yeah, but even with my teaching and stuff, like I always try and make it as relatable as possible. So I mean I've only learned from people that I've been able to connect with on such a raw and honest level. And I think that's for, you know, for all of our society, that's the way it is. Like, you know, you can tell when people are being authentic and when they're not. And that's where you make your connections and it's where you're able to really, you know, take, take on advice and you know, you're able to grow. Totally agree. I just want to say thank you so much for one.

Speaker 5: 59:22

Responding to my messages and things like that. So I'm like, what the lie for the guy for you didn't end up coming into the city. Meeting me here. That's been a wall. Just schedule line up, which is good. You've got a day off. Great. And sharing so much and being so open about everything. It's. I think I've gotten so much out of it and I hope and I know that everyone else will. We will get together and rant again soon. Until then. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. I'll definitely catch up with you. Alright guys, take care of booze. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to a conversation. Hopefully he got some insights and values to raise your awareness. If you like the podcast, please like and share on social media and leave a review on whatever platform. We really appreciate it. You can also keep up to date on our facebook and instagram pages. Both handles are at the conscious podcast and also my personal account, which is at carlow undisclosed to reload. Until next time, take care and be nice.