How to Grow a Business AND Do Everything Else, All at Once

A client recently asked me how I 'did it all, all at once.' This is something we're all doing, right? You're building a business AND working AND parenting AND being a friend AND being a partner AND AND AND. So the question is, how do you do it all at once? In this episode I'm going to share my own version of this - my way of doing it all, all at once. At the very least you'll know you're not the only one out here still working to find the balance :) Listen on...





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Transcript

So a client recently asked me how I did it all at once. And as she asked me the question, I kind of laughed, right, like, because I don't think I did it. My first response was, Dear God, no, I didn't, I didn't do it all at once. But actually, like, in thinking about it, and talking with her about it, and really reflecting on it myself, what I realized is, actually, that's what we all do all the time. We're all doing it all all at once. So why don't want to talk about today is the ways I have done that. Like you, I am building a business. And I do other things.

 I up until very recently, was still teaching part time. I, at the start of my business, still at a job, I have kids that are school aged mine are going into fourth and sixth grade this year. So you know, five years ago, they were much smaller. I have a spouse, I have dogs, I have a house, we have sports, we have all the things and and I have friends, I like to occasionally sleep, all of it. And so, you know, I think this episode is a chance to talk about balance, which I don't really think is the thing. 

But also what, you know, strategies I've tried and have found success with for doing all the things all at once, that maybe will be useful for you too. Because I think the best thing we can do as humans, as women, as business owners, as whoever is to acknowledge that this is a thing, number one, and to say like, here's the version of it, I have done, maybe it will help you too. And trade those suckers. Like those are like the best kind of trading cards, those secrets where you did, you know really something that really helped you move forward. 

So as I'm talking about that, though, two things. The first is, here we are at the end of August, the next round of group coaching starts at the end of September the week of September 25. So if you are thinking about group coaching for the Fall group coaching is my favorite kind of coaching, even though I love my one on one clients, that is not anything against them. But group coaching is magic groups are limited to four because they're supposed to be small, they are a really solid blend of individualized coaching. And working in a group and learning from each other. I write the curriculum week in and week out with the group in mind. I plan week to week with sort of, you know, the teacher, you can't take the lesson plan out of the teacher, right? Because I asked myself every week what this group and the people in it need now. And that is really how these groups function. They are magic. They we get so much done, we made an hour a week, if it is something you're interested in, oh, and we run for 20 weeks.

 So we'll start at the end of September, we'll run into the new year, we'll take a week of Thanksgiving in a week at Christmas time. Don't worry, we're not going to make you crazy. In the schedule we'll agree upon once we know who's in the group, because we all need it to work in our lives. So once if you have thoughts about group coaching, if you're curious, reach out, send me an email, go to my website, which is Torpey coaching.com. Come into my Facebook group comm wherever and if you're not in the Facebook group, you should be Come on Come play with us. It is the same name. It says podcast so you can't mess it up. 

But if you're curious about group coaching, or you're thinking like, hey, I need coaching, but I don't know what kind column let's talk about it, you know, I can help you figure that out. And I'll help you figure that out. Even if it's not me, right, like I I'm would much rather you get what you need than not get what you need. That's my priority. My priority is the person. And that's you. So let's talk about it. Okay, that being said, so how did I do it all once. So there was a time in, you know, 2018 2019 You know, I think like 2016 to 2020 probably where I was working a job, right? I was or a collection of part time jobs like and I when I say a collection, I mean like a small duffel bag full. Like at one point, I think ahead email addresses and I've told you all this. 

When I talked about side jobs, I've had all the side jobs. So you know, and my kids were young, my youngest was born in 2014. And my oldest is a 2011. So you have a sense of how old my kids were. And I was doing lots of things and I was getting them done. And I'm in a position now because I did all those things that my business is much more stable. And it makes you know, really decent money and it's growing all the time. All of that is great. But it is all attributed to these things I did when I was trying to do it all what I'm still trying to do it all. So when I was talking to my client about this the other day, as I was thinking about it, one of the first things I did was I worked a lot. 

But I looked for time pockets. I think of time pockets all the time. I'm like working on that mode this week. And next because my kids are not back to school yet. And they're also not in camp these two weeks because all the teachers are going back all the college kids have left, there's nothing to send them to, except camp mom. And so like it is an hour or two, where they are busy doing something else. And I can grab this time, like this time right now is a little time pocket that I'm using to record this podcast.

 So when my kids were little, it was naptime, or it was bedtime, or it was you know, for many years, it was the hour between six and seven in the morning before they got up. So I would grab these little time pockets, I would get, you know, things done in an hour at a time or two. And, and that really, you know, I was really good, I'm still really good at using those little pockets when they come up. Now, I think the reason I've been really good at using those pockets as they come up is I always have had in sometimes I had multiple versions of this age, what I think of as a shortlist of non negotiables. So I always had sort of really not even sort of really clear priorities.

 I always knew what the next couple of things in any given facet of my life work. Like I can tell you this week in my business, by priorities or offers, it is recording this podcast. And it is meeting with all my clients like that's it. That's all I hope to get done. If I get more than that done, bonus. But that's it in my house this week, I want to clean out all the kids drawers, and get through the clothes and make sure everything that's in there that's fits, I am helping them go through what's under their beds, because oh my gosh, I looked under one of them the other day and I was like, Ooh, boy, it's time. And we're going to shred all the extra paper. That's the house list for this weekend next. 

So I have always had these little tiny pick lists that you know, so it means that when I get a time pocket, when I get a little hour to do something, I know what to do. My shortlist of non negotiables for my business, pretty much has always been a version of the same three things. For me, it is always some kind of connecting. So it's like talking to people, on some level be the clients. But when I didn't have clients, it was making one on one connections with people I didn't know through networking or through group assignment or whatever it is showing up and sharing. 

So one is connect to is showing up and sharing, posting on LinkedIn sending out emails, showing up in my Facebook group wherever like showing up writing the things. And over the years, because I've been doing this so long, I've gotten really fast at that. So I don't really need a ton of time to do that anymore. But also it was always you know, like if a post is going to take me five minutes to write well, I have five minutes, I can grab that somewhere. Right? I often I used to do them when my kids were little when they were like winding down and watching a little TV at the end of the day. So they could just like decompress a little bit. And I would grab those 20 minutes of quiet, write out a couple of posts, either schedule them or just post them because I'm not a big scheduler of posts, and move on. So I know that pocket is there. 

So first is connect. The second is show up. And the third is create. So like my business this week is a good version. A good example of that, like I'm going to connect with clients. I'm going to do my offers, which is my showing up and I'm going to create I'm recording this podcast episode like that's it, I'm going to put things out so people know I'm here and I'm gonna build my like I am. My coach calls me a content monster, I just make stuff, I have all the ideas, and I just write the things and say the things. So that really is always been my priority set. It has always looked different. 

My list five years ago was different than it is today. By lists two years ago or even in, you know, April was different than it is today. But it is always some version of connecting, showing up and creating. And so if you think about what that looks like for you right now, what are the things sort of in those three buckets? And what do you want your picklist for right now to be? You can't it's not like right my website, that's that's way too big of a bucket item. It's like actually, I was just doing this a little while ago. In my list in my like extra list. I always have a couple of extra things in my list so that if I get time and I have done all the things I need to do I know what to do next. I am converting the course that I have to a new platform.

 So one of the first things I need to do is take the documents out of the current platform and make them PDFs. So I have a little pick list on my thing this is make 10 of the PDFs. Like that's next on my list. So like, what are the things it's not convert my course to the new platform? It's like way too big of a bike. But what are the little things you can do? Like, what is the smallest bite look like? And how can you use that to make it move forward? So time pockets, non negotiables. I think the other thing that has really helped me is that I choose imbalance intentionally, like, life is not 50/50, there is no like, I spend half my time with my family and half my time at work. That's not how this works. Like, that's not how schedules work. That's not how people work. We all have things that are we all have priorities that are shifting at any given moment. 

So in the summer, for example, this summer, I'm working a little less, because my kids are home a little more, once we get into fall, maybe I'll shift that. Because my, my priorities are changing how my time is spent is changing all of that. So choose your imbalances, it's not going to be in balance, maybe for four or five months, you're working really consistently on creating, and you're spending a little more time on writing all the things for your sales pages, or writing to your email list, or you're spending more time making those one on one connections. It you know, two, three years ago, I spent a lot of time on those one on one connections. 

So you know, I would have 100 or 130 of those a year. So think about the time it takes to do that, then just have the meetings and do the meaning finding the people and doing all that stuff. Right now, I don't do as much as that. Because I don't need it the same way. But I was sort of imbalanced towards connection, then and now I'm imbalanced in a new way. Right? I don't think about it as balanced, I'm going to intentionally choose the ways I'm unbalanced, I'm gonna control that. I'm gonna decide. Sometimes in the spring, like my family gets really heavily weighted towards kids sports. So like I choose to make my schedule flexible. So I can imbalance in that direction for a couple of months. And then it swings back like it's a pendulum, I'm not trying to swing it to the very edges. 

But at the same time, I'm aware of there are some times I'm working on something more, there are times I can flex more. I just have to choose and sometimes the imbalance I choose like July this year and the imbalance I choose I got to choose was like doing far less and being okay with it, even though I was really uncomfortable. And I'm not super good at doing less, I'm really good at filling my time pockets. And learning this summer to maybe not fill them all full of stuff has been, you know, challenging for what I think of myself kind of as a doer, like I like to be in motion I like to be touched and stuff I like to be, you know, pushing all the buttons and making progress. And I have really tried to sort of slow that down this summer and unspooled. 

But it's been hard, I bet you can relate to that. So you know, you are not going to be in perfect balance, your kids are not going to get every bit of attention. Sometimes your business is not going to get everything you need, you're maybe going to have to imbalance yourself towards a little more fitness sometimes. Like, okay, that's how it works. It's going to be different. It changes all the time. And that is okay. As long as you are the one making the choices, right? Like it's never going to be 5050 It's never going to be even it's not a perfectly distributed pie chart. Okay, cool. Let's just accept that and move on. The next thing is, I decided at a certain point and this is easier said than done. But it is something I am really intentional about that. It's I don't accept guilt. I just don't like I actually am pretty good as a parent. 

Even when my kids really young. I don't do mom guilt. I really don't. Like I don't feel bad that I'm not at every single thing. I don't feel bad that I worked. I don't feel bad that they don't get every perfect meal like I just don't, I can't I can't spend that kind of mental energy on it. I love them. They're loved well, they get the vast majority of what they need. They're growing into wonderful children. Every existence is imperfect and we do the best we can just as what it is.

 So I have tried to take that level of like, I don't want to do this skill here and apply it to my business. Like I get done when I get done. What I get done. I make the progress I make I Know what is enough. I trust that It was enough. And I allow that to do things. Like, am I going to get to everything? Nope. Am I going to get everything on my list even today? Nope. Am I going to die from it? Nope. So it's going to be okay. You are making progress. And so in return, I really try to focus on like, where's the progress I've made? What is getting done? 

Instead of focusing on the deficit, the places I haven't shown up, the things that haven't gotten done, I really, really like every week in my journal for years now, there is a list of like wins from last week. Because if I don't do that, I start to sort of lose touch with what I'm getting done. And and then I start to be like, oh, gosh, come on, Sarah. But really, I'm getting it done. You are too, we can sort of tune ourselves towards the towards what we're accomplishing versus the deficits versus the things we're getting done. And then you have a lot less guilt kind of amazing, actually. So for you, for me, can you take your tune yourself away from the guilt towards the successes towards the like, yeah, I got this thing done. Yes, I took the first step. Yes, I did. 10 minutes of this. 

That's fine. You know, I was talking to the client who asked me this question initially the other day. And she was thinking like, okay, she creates courses, she was thinking, Okay, I have to have this part of the course created by this date, this port card and part of the course created by this date. And it was like looming over her because she's not making her deadlines. And I actually we're talking about it, I set mine really differently. So like the things I want to do in my course, this week, what I have written down is to spend 20 minutes on it three times, I will make 20 minutes of progress three times that equals an hour, that's as far as I will get. But like that is possible to me, that she was like, Oh, I could do it like that. Right? It feels very different than, like, get to this particular endpoint. Even if you have to give up sleep, like I'm gonna, I don't know, thank you. 

So I'm gonna get done, what I get to get done what I get done in those 20 minutes, three times. And maybe maybe I do two of those 20 minutes together, maybe I get on a roll and I do a whole hour and then I do an extra 20 minutes. That doesn't usually happen. But sometimes it does. So it's up to you sort of how we choose to look at it. But I get a lot less guilt, about 20 minutes three to four times than I do a deadline that was artificial, right that I set for myself and then missed, which sucked. And then it's just a reason to feel guilty. 

No, thank you. That. So the last thing for me, I think that has made a really big difference is just thinking about time differently. It's, you know, setting calendar deadlines, versus being kinder to myself and setting like, controllable 20 minute chunks. It is knowing that what gets done, what's gets done, what gets done is progress, that I'm always making progress, and that I have the time to do what matters. So one of my favorite thoughts that I think all the time is, I always have time to do what matters. And the thing is, is the important thing, and there are some times I don't choose work. I love my business. I love what I do. I love the people I help. And sometimes I choose my kids, sometimes I choose myself, sometimes I choose my husband, today, there was an hour where I chose my dogs. Sometimes I choose something else. 

What matters always gets done sometimes what matters is not my business first. That's okay. What matters to me is always me and the other people. If a client is having a problem, that's always going to come first. Right, I get to order those priorities. This morning, I got in my email, I sat down at my desk for an hour, I had something I wanted to do. But I had a client who wanted to like, read through and do something together on a letter she was working on to a parent she worked with. So we did that. And it got done. She got what she needed, I'm happy to help. This is part of what we do in coaching. Great, everybody's happy. 

So, you know for you, you can choose to think about time a little differently, we can choose to think about time a little differently. And that in and of itself leads to less guilt. But we can also choose less guilt. So I don't know if this helps. I know this is the way I have done it. I know that for you. You have to do it the way that works for you. And maybe some of the things that I have helped maybe you're like, I don't know, she's kind of crazy, totally fine. But what I can say is this, if you are stuck, and you're like I don't know how to do all this, I can't figure it out and I'm overwhelmed all the time. And this sucks constantly.

 Please reach out. Like part of my role as a coach is to make it unstuck. Like that is really my mission in life. It shouldn't suck. None of this should suck. And maybe my ways that I personally use are the right ways for you. But guess what? I'm a grown up with lots of visual into other people's businesses and other people's ways. I've seen lots of ways we have lots of ideas We'll try some other options. You actually probably know some of them already because they work for you. And you just don't realize it. So we get to tease those out together. It doesn't need to feel so heavy. 

Yes, sometimes it feels like spinning all the plates all at once. But that's not the majority, at least for me anymore. It doesn't have to be the majority for you. We can change this. And if you want my help, I'm happy to help. Otherwise I will see you again on the next episode in two weeks. Until then, happy end of August. Calm hang out with us come play in the Facebook group and come to group coaching. I can't wait to see you there.