The 5 Most Annoying (and useful) Business Coaching Questions

Want to grow your business more effectively, faster? Ask yourself these questions more regularly. As a business coach these are the MOST annoying questions I ask my clients (the ones they don't love at all but also really love!!) because of the growth, clarity, and perspective they create. Take your favorite one and try it on today!




Join the free FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncomplicatingbusiness/

Book a free 1:1 conversation about coaching: https://www.torpeycoaching.com/book-online

Check out Selling for Weirdos here: https://torpeycoaching.thinkific.com/courses/sellingforweirdos

Transcript

Copy

Welcome, welcome to another episode of uncomplicated business. I am Sarah, you know this. Today on the podcast, we are going to talk about my most favorite and also least favorite business coaching questions.

 As a former teacher, as a business coach questions are my jam, they are the most powerful part of what I do with clients. They are vital to helping people untangle and unlock and unleash and do all the fancy things in their businesses. And sometimes they're also really annoying. I love this questions in this set that I'm sharing today. But I often find that when I'm about to ask them of a client, I apologize. I say something like, 

Hey, I know you're not going to love this question. And also, in that I asked the question, these are the kinds of questions that we don't ask ourselves often enough, but that creates so much growth and clarity and perspective that we should ask them more. So what we're going to do today is we're going to go through these questions so that you can pick the one that you want to start with, because that's the goal for today, you're gonna pick one of these questions and ask yourself and use your journal and answer it. Maybe decide you want to answer it much more regularly. 

Because these questions really do make such a difference. Before we jump in a couple of things. The first is if you're not in my Facebook group, it's by the same name uncomplicated business for teachers, helpers and givers Come play with us. It's a magical place to be. It's a community full of teachers trying to grow just like you. And I have a course that I teach called selling for weirdos, please come play with us. 

Selling for weirdos is exactly what it sounds like it is how to sell. If you feel a little weird out here in the sales world. It is how to sell as a business owner who puts people and humans and giving at the center. It is a human centered, service centered practice for sales and selling. It's a process that is about owning your expertise and feeling good about it and connecting to people and inviting them into your world. And using that as your process to make money and impact. 

You're going to get all of those things in selling for weirdos Plus, you get one on one coaching. For me, it's a lovely community and a way to learn. So please come check it out. All right. So the five questions in no particular order? Or this or these? The first one is why not? It's a really simple question. So I got two words. And also what I know that we do as business owners quite often is we ask why? Like, I'm going to do this thing, why I'm going to do this other thing, why I'm gonna give them this thing why? We're great at asking why. But what we're not great at all the time is asking ourselves, why not? When we say no to ourselves. So I the other day was talking with someone, I had an email series that I was going to send to one part of my list. And she said to me, why are you not sending it to everyone else? In a it was because it hadn't occurred to me but be when I my first answer was like, Whoa, I can't do that. And she said, why not? And it was like, 

Well, gosh, I don't really have a good reason. So often, the question, why not? Like, why can't I do that? Why doesn't it work this way? Why am I not allowed? Why? Who says right? Why not? Is such a good question at getting at the like, on intended rules we've set for ourselves, the things that we've decided are not allowed in our businesses and our work that actually nobody set a rule the only person in the way is us. And so why not is like, Okay, what's the rule here? Who said it and do I care? Why not is really about untangling that. It's about permission. It's like, why don't I do this? Why can't I do it this way? Why is it not? Okay? So think about something you're telling yourself doesn't work right now? Or you're not allowed to do or it's too much or too far or whatever. And instead of being like, Yeah, well, I'm not allowed to do that. Ask yourself, why not? And then see what happens. 

The second question, and in full transparency, I hate this question. I hate this question for me. I hate answering this question. And also I asked it to myself all the time, because it is such an important The question and the question is this, when you are doing something, something new, when you are doing something you've done 10 times when you are doing something different when you're doing something, it doesn't matter. The question you should be asking is who are you trying to avoid disappointing? This question sucks. So bad? Because often, what I find, when I answer this question, I'll be like, alright, this is the way I'm gonna do it. And it's like, okay, who am I trying to avoid disappointing by doing it that way? Often, it's like, I'm trying to avoid disappointing this person, I don't know and who I don't care how they feel about me, but I'm willing to disappoint myself. 

This is a pricing question a lot of the time, because it's like, Well, I
think that should be $50 an hour. And it's like, why? Who are you trying to avoid disappointing. You're trying to avoid disappointing someone else in your price that maybe it's too much for them. And at the same time, disappointing yourself because you're not charging enough for your value. Like, that sucks. That sucks in a lot of ways. So if you are stuck somewhere, if you're trying to make a decision, and you're like, should it be $50? Or $75? Should it be? Should I say it like this? Or say it like that? Should I run it on this day? Should I run it on that day? Should I talk about it at all? Should I say it again? When you're like, Man, I don't know what to do? Ask yourself who you're trying to avoid disappointing? Like, who are you trying to please hear, right? Because if it's not you, that you're trying to please and it's not you that you're willing to not disappoint? Then what are you doing? Right? Gotta hate this question. 

But it is what it is. Okay, so that's number two. Number three is the least annoying one of the group? I think it is, what is the actual problem you're trying to solve? So here's the thing when I was back in my Britannica days, many, many years ago, I worked with developers and tech guys, and all kinds of things. And I used to walk in, and I would say, Hey, guys, I need this button on this page to be green. And they would look at me and be like, That's cool. No. And I'd be like, well, but I needed to be green. The school district said to me, it needs to be green, if they're going to use it, and blah, blah, blah. And they would look at me and go, okay, cool. 

What problem are you actually trying to solve? And then I would have to sit back and be like, Oh, okay, what's the problem here? Is it a development problem? Is it a software problem? Is it a me problem? Is it a people problem? Is it a communication problem? Is it a technology problem? What kind of problem is it? Because I would be so busy deciding what the fix was making the button green, that I didn't really understand the problem. So what we do as business owners, especially as teachers, is we are really invested in people. And we are really invested in problem solving, we see something wrong, and we immediately sprang into action, and we're like, we're gonna fix this. And a lot of times, we're fixing it before we even really know what the problem is. 

So to pause before you head into fix it mode, or even if you're in fix it mode, you're like, Whoa, like, I feel like I'm fixing things like, what's the actual problem I'm trying to fix here? If you can articulate the problem, some really important things happen. If you can articulate the problem, the solution set of your choices becomes clear, right? It's like, oh, my problem is a communication problem. Now I know what to do. If you can articulate the problem, you can decide if it's actually a problem. And so often, I go into fix it mode. And then I stop somewhere down the pike. And I think like, Is this what's the actual problem here? And then it's like, oh, I'm feeling worried about this. Then it's like, oh, well, is meeting worried actually a problem? Or is that just a feeling like, oh, that's just a feeling anyways, I can go back to what I was doing regularly scheduled programming here. And so what's the actual problem gets us to clarity. 

But at the same time also gets us to not doing work that isn't necessary. It is stopping the wheel spinning. Because if you ask what the actual problem is, and you can't articulate it, because there is no actual problem, you can stop whatever you're doing. Because if you're solving something that doesn't exist, then you don't need to solve it. It's very simple. Like my kids, and I talk about it all the time. My daughter will be like, I need it to be like this. And I'll say why. And she'll be like, well, cuz someday it might be this other way. Like, well, that's not a problem today, so we don't need to do it like that yet. If we come to that problem, we'll deal with it then. But we don't have to fix it yet. It's not a today problem. 

Okay. Number four. Also, not one of my favorite questions. I'm really annoying. This is one that when it comes at me from coaching or some other direction, or I see a hint of it online, I'm always like, Oh, no. But what do you need to let go of? To get where you're going? The other way you might ask it is, what do you need to let go of to become who you are becoming next? This question also sucks. Because the idea that I have to let go of things, on my way to New stuff, I don't like I want to keep all the things Andrew the new things, the idea that I have to let go of ways of doing things or ways I think about myself, on my way to the next version of me, is uncomfortable. Right. And that's like, I don't like it. But it's true. 

Right at in my journey, as a business owner, I have had to let go of lots of things. I've had to let go of side jobs, so many side jobs, so many side jobs, that it felt scary to do. Because what if I didn't make the money? Right? I have had to let go of worrying about what people who don't understand my business. Think of me. I have had to let go of, you know, worrying that I'm not good enough. Not that I don't still worry about that. But I have had to let go of letting that drive. I've had to let go of thinking of myself as not equal to other people, because I don't have a business degree. Like I'm just as good at this. Even though I came at it a different way. I've had to let go of introducing myself as a teacher first. I think that one took forever. 

There are still times where I go to networking. And they'll be like, Oh, what do you do? And I'll go to be like, Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a tea. I'm a business coach. Right? I'm a business coach. And I work with teachers and I was a teacher. But it's not teacher is not the first word anymore. I can't be it's not who I am. To I used to be. So for you. What do you need to let go of right now? On the way to get where you're going? Is it something you think about yourself? Is it a process? Is it something you're building? Is it something you want? Is it something you used to want? Right? What is it? What are all the options? And probably there's a handful of things that it's time to let go of you know it, and you just don't want to admit it? 

Because when I asked this question to clients, they're often like, Oh, no. And if they think for a minute, they know, and that's the thing, and then they have to say it out loud. And that sucks worse, because you don't like you can no but not admit it. But you know, knowing and then saying out loud means we're on our way to letting go of the thing. And that's hard. But it's true. So then the last question is this. This is an interesting one, because it's doesn't seem annoying up surface. And yet also it really is. The question is what do you actually want? Here's the thing. 

We are not trained to want anything. It is not our default setting, especially as women, if you're listening to this, and you're a woman, we identify that way. You know, we are taught and socialized to be like, Yep, we're just going to do the next thing in order. But that's not how our businesses work. We don't want that. It's like what do I actually want as a business owner, I said that to a client this morning. He was like, well, but I can help this many kids. And I could do it this way. And I could do it like this. And I could do it like this. And I was like cool, awesome.

 You can do all those things, which ones do you actually want. And he just looked at me and he was like, oh, because as a business owner, you get to choose. So knowing what you actually want, what you want it to feel like what you want it to look like what you don't want, makes a huge impact. Because we get to shape these businesses to look like we want them to. That's the whole point. But if we're out here in the business world, running something that doesn't look like we want it to it's sucks. It's no fun. But in order to get the thing we actually want, we have to articulate what we actually want. And that is tricky sometimes, especially if it's not something we've practiced. Lord knows it's a struggle for me. It's something I work on every day. And it's something you can work on too. 

So this is one of those sneaky questions that seems on the surface like a lovely question, what do you actually want? But then when you go to answer it, you're like, oh, no, this is a deep question, what do I actually want? And therefore it becomes an annoying coaching question. So these are just a handful of questions to try on. These are the kinds of questions that come up in coaching conversations constantly. That I ask people all the time because This is how we grow. 

So if you want more questions like this more annoying ones and helpful ones and they're all the same, coming to coaching, the next round of group starts in the fall in September, October, but it will be full by September. The one on one spots are open now. Like if you want to come and get coached and have your brain poked and pushed and grown as a result, come, let's do that together. There's always room for you. And I would love to help you get where you're going without all the extra baggage, making it look like what you want without disappointing yourself and without solving problems you don't have I'll see you soon