#226 Conor O'Brien - How To Destroy Bad Habits & Turn Your Life Around

Are your habits holding you back from the life you truly want to live?

In this episode, we sit down with Conor O’Brien, ultra marathon endurance athlete.

We dive into Conor's journey from a destructive party lifestyle to finding purpose and fulfillment through ultra-running. We discuss the mental and physical challenges of overcoming substance abuse, the cultural influences on drinking habits, and the power of investing in personal growth.

Conor shares practical tips on how to break free from negative habits, build a supportive community, and push through mental and physical barriers.

We explore how discipline, purpose, and a shift in mindset can lead to a life of success and happiness.

If you're ready to turn your life around, hit that like button, subscribe for more life-changing insights, and share your own journey or questions in the comments below!


Conor’s Socials:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RunWithConor


My Socials:
Instagram - Darrenlee.ks
LinkedIn - Darren Lee
YouTube - Darren Lee 


(00:00) Preview and Introduction
(01:14) Transition Away from Party Lifestyle 
(03:01) The Impact of Alcohol and Substance Abuse
(09:46) Cultural Influences on Drinking Habits
(16:04) The Role of Running in Personal Transformation
(20:03) Mental and Physical Challenges of Ultra-Running
(26:32) Building a Supportive Community
(30:52) Practical Tips for Running and Recovery
(35:00) The Secret to Overcoming Barriers
(40:03) Investing in Personal Development
(53:04) Boston Qualifier: Triumphs and Challenges
(55:36) Balancing Work and Marathon Training
(58:17) The Demands of Ultra-Running Training
(01:00:29) Diverse Backgrounds of Ultra-Runners
(01:02:32) Facing Personal Traumas and PTSD
(01:05:00) The Journey of Self-Discovery and Sobriety
(01:09:08) Using Trauma as Fuel for Personal Growth
(01:12:06) Redefining Success and Personal Responsibility
(01:15:53) Breaking Free from the System
(01:20:03) Building a Community and Coaching Others
(01:25:42) Strategies for Coaching and Running Businesses
(01:30:30) The Influence of Education and Career Choices
(01:35:14) The Reality of Entrepreneurship and Financial Freedom
(01:40:03) The Importance of Creativity and Personal Growth
(01:45:00) Embracing New Challenges and Future Aspirations

Transcript

Connor : 0:00

You want people who are going to bring your name up in a room of opportunities when you're not there.

Darren: 0:03

In school, people think that you're either creative or not. But if you're creative, you're going to have this like bullshit job as an artist or a graphic designer and be broke. That's the mentality, whereas the reality is everybody is creative, but they beat it out of you.

Connor : 0:15

People spend insane amount of money on personal development and I respect that. That's not money you'll ever regret spending, like travel. You never regret money you spend on travel, or your pets or your partners. Just don't regret that money that you spend.

Darren: 0:26

Before we start this week's episode, I have one little favor to ask you. Can you please leave a five-star rating below so we can help more people every single week. Thank you, so usually I never preface podcasts and stuff like this, but I think what's actually important for this is actually to give a bit of background into, like, how we met. So I think what's so fucking crazy about this is that. So I saw you on strava I said this to you before and I saw you in canada running these crazy like 140 kilometers, 80 kilometers, 90 kilometers in the middle of nowhere and I had no idea who you were. And then when we met, like last week, you were like yeah, I remember you from fucking raving and partying together and I don't remember that, which just shows up how fucked up I was in my young 20s which I basically had been.

Darren: 1:14

I'm gonna say kappa future, kappa, future, yeah, in italy. So I bear in mind, I don't like I obviously actually I nearly caked it completely that weekend, but the worrying part is the fact that we had spent time together and I had seen you afterwards and followed you and never knew I was with you. So there's two, two things here for me. One there's the, the session life that we've almost said goodbye to, and there's the other side of, like all the things you've gone on to do, which, to me, is like is the whole basis for this conversation no, I appreciate that and it's incredibly mutual, though like 100, you know, finishing the race here in bali and immediately having two people reach out to me.

Connor : 1:55

But like uh, darren lee is in bali for the last few years and like I didn't even know that you'd been in bali, you know I was here in september. I could have seen you then.

Darren: 2:01

I didn't even know you were david dc.

Connor : 2:03

Yeah and yeah and it was him it was there who reached out to me after and been like uh, you know, he sent me your story of your run club thing and then I was just like, okay, I'm gonna have to go, like legs don't feel too good so many days after the race, like I'm still like pretty dehydrated.

Connor : 2:17

But I was like, yeah, I'm gonna have to go and thank god I did, um. But yeah, touching on the session life, um, that was just a strange time, but one that must be reflected on, you know, because so many things happen in that time in your life where, like there's people that you think are a friend that aren't your friend. You know, once you remove the substance from a friendship, most friendships will dissolve naturally, and that's just a fact. And it's even but I mean even alcohol too. Sometimes people have drinking buddies in the pub, but like if something happened and you needed one of those people to be at your house at four o'clock in the morning or be even eight o'clock, are they even going to be in a stable condition to drive? Or like, come and get you if it's emergency. Probably not.

Connor : 3:01

Probably won't even answer the phone, man and to me that that that scared me, because I like loyalty is everything and to have close friends around me. You know your friend will share your vision. That's a big one for me. Your friend will share your vision and, and like you'll never be, you'll never be belittled by someone that is doing more than you. Yeah, usually it always comes from someone doing less and you figure these things out when you start working yourself and chase sobriety and at least chase purpose. Yeah, and for me that was the big one, that all it came in one go. It's a snowball effect.

Darren: 3:36

It starts off if you move the mic a small bit closer, you might as well. But it's a snowball effect because it starts off with doing one thing right, which could be getting your diet in place, yeah, and then going to the gym. And then when you go to the gym you're like, oh, I don't want to go on saturday, I'll just go on friday. And then you go on friday and you're like, okay, instead of going on a fucking two-day cocaine bender, I'm just going to go on like a few drinks. And then you start stripping it back and back and back. But I think that relationship correlates positively and negatively. So we saw that early in our 20s which I think most people do where they correlate it negatively. For I was lucky, I got into the session life early.

Connor : 4:11

I was 19. Oh, man Sam, thank the Lord.

Darren: 4:13

And I've seen people get into it at 26, 27. Like, I don't think you met Louis here. Louis has become a nice friend of mine. He got into it at like 28 and he was in and out in two years. Mind, he got into it like 28 and he was in and out in two years. Yeah, but 28 is pretty old to get into that, right it is. So it was almost like in and out, but I'll never forget this. Someone said to me before never make your college habits your life habits. Yeah, and how many people have you seen?

Connor : 4:39

that become? Oh, absolutely. I'm a construction guy, so I mean I was 18 years, 17 years of age first time I walked onto a construction site novartis pharmaceutical plant, lotus scaffolders, electricians, all these tradesmen and like then being out on other sites on street jobs in the city and like seeing 30, 40, even 50 year olds who live for taking cocaine at the weekend and I was just like even like coming from canada now being surrounded by like that hour of people as well, and I was just like I actually need to be around people like that in my job because it motivates me to be better. I'm like that is not who I want to be. Like thank, thank, fucking god I get to see what these people are like 20 years from my age, right now, and it forces me into a mindset of just bulletproof like I'm. Like I will not allow myself to ever slip back into that. Like the alcohol in moderation is different, but like I will never, ever take class a drugs again. I will never allow myself to let myself slip.

Darren: 5:31

You know, yeah, because it just domino effect yeah, let's focus in on on even the alcohol side of things. So you mentioned before I started recording about, you know, funerals and all this shit. Alcohol has been consumed. So I had rory fair and I forget his surname basically on my podcast and he was like the marketing around alcohol is commiseration, congratulations, all the different, basically like emotions. They've marketed to that aspect so it just becomes so embedded and it's not about just hating on alcohol, hating on people that do drink alcohol and stuff. It's about, like looking at the comparison so if you didn't have your running, where do you think you would be right now if you never took that leap?

Connor : 6:17

probably wouldn't have went to canada and that was a huge step in the song because I went there as an advanced tradesman and really elevated my work career. So I wouldn't have went to canada. I probably would have stayed in ireland and just dreamed of the idea of someday trying to go back to australia or something. Maybe at best. Maybe going to london and like using a second passport or you know. But continuing the alcohol and drugs, yeah, and that weekend pandemonium feeling and waking up on a monday, miserable, and then oh it's waiting to get paid on friday again, and just fucking repeating it for every week of the year. Definitely that would have been the routine. I would have fallen back into 100 percent. Um, I knew I had to go to canada. That was the difference. Like I was only back from australia. I was 23 years of age, got back to ireland, uh, in january 2019.

Connor : 7:10

My running journey didn't really kick off until march that year when my dog died from in australia that was booked to come back to ireland. A lot of money, a lot of just bad shit went on there and that fueled me and kind of set me on that train of obsession. And running, you know, went from a 10 mile race. A couple of weeks later it was marathon. And then, less than three months later, it was a hundred mile race and you know I was still drinking at that time. Yeah, even a week before my hundred mile race, my best friend, absolute my brother from another, ryan Driscoll from the north side, knock on his for my 100 mile race.

Darren: 7:45

My best friend, absolute my brother from another ryan driscoll from the north side. Knock nahini's finest. I haven't heard the word knock me like six years.

Connor : 7:48

He's never done drugs in his life. He enjoys his social drinks and whatnot, but a dedicated workhorse. And what a life journey this man has had. But a week before my 100 mile race I was in limerick watching him fight uh, thai boxing fight and he, you know, didn't go his way on the night and this is a week before like some crazy task I have ahead of me. I was a novice signing up for 100 world race. I didn't have a clue what the fuck I was. 100 miles yeah, conor mara, 100. I had 24, like a road race, brutal, and I did not know what the fuck I was getting into.

Connor : 8:19

But that night when he lost, like most irish people do, we drank our sorrows. I remember. Was it? It might have been, it was. Yeah, it was the prop. I think conor mcgregor just released that proper 12 whiskey at the time. Yeah, I remember smashing a liter of that with him. Like I got blackout drunk, woke up in my hotel lobby, outside my room, like shut off, didn't even know what the fuck went on, like got pissed drunk. And that was a week before my hundred mile race. So for three days after that I didn't even run.

Darren: 8:46

I was just like, oh my god, like dying victim mentality, like suffering so like, just for people, context right, you've done the bali ultra, came third in that you run a bunch of other ultra races. You've done six marathons, you've done a ton of that stuff. But with the alcohol, with the self-sabotage, why do you think you were doing that and why do you think people do that? Number one, because what you're saying about drinking the liter of proper 12, I used to drink a liter of gin, right, and we were discussing yesterday about uh, uh. Susan was asking me did I ever buy like gin and tonics in ireland? I was like no, because it was cheaper to go to tesco to get the liter of gin and then get the polish vodka, the lithuanian stuff, or whatever, the russian vodka, yeah, yeah, and have a have a liter of it.

Darren: 9:34

Right, for 11 quid petrol you could fuel a car off it, but I don't know. Saying long time, but but why, though? Like that's, the question is why do we do that?

Connor : 9:46

Okay, I think from the age I first started drinking at the age of 14 or 15. 14 as well.

Connor : 9:51

And it would have been one liter, two liter bottles of the worst cider possible Lindervillage, devil's Spit Druids. All these nasty drinks, right, druids. All these nasty drinks right. And I never once, from the age of 14 or 15 until the age of 23, drank to drink socially. I drank to get pissed and that is like.

Connor : 10:14

Only now I'm realizing that I'm like holy shit man, and like I'm a small guy, bro, it don't take much for me to start feeling tipsy, moving, mad, you know. So, um, I think that's, I think that's ingrained in a lot of irish people. They don't know how to. Why moderate again?

Connor : 10:31

I bring it back to the generational trauma, a lot of trauma our parents haven't dealt with, not because of their life, but because of the grandparents side of things coming through the troubles in ireland, coming through tough times that we aren't aware of, because we've grown up in a softer time and like my grandfather is 85 years of age right now. He's from tipperary, he lives out in kinmare and carry he used to walk to his bare feet I just man making rabbit snares in his backyard and like I couldn't make a snare if you paid me, I don't know what. Like I wouldn't have if I had to walk to school in my bare feet. As a child I would have kicked and screamed. I wouldn't have been able. But this is the difference and that's only how much you know, 60 years between me and him. Right now, it's madness, like absolute madness. Um.

Darren: 11:11

So I just feel like times are different, but I just don't feel like it's been dealt with properly but let's just deconstruct that a small bit, because I agree with you that like, yeah, like it was fucking shit back then. It was like stone houses and stuff. But in the world today, especially in asia, things are tough right, like like this huge income disparity, like people are making 40 a month and they don't resolve to that. Now there's a lot of smoking in asia, we'll say that, but it's not like a lot of alcoholics in asia. So there has, there has to be something that's uk, uh, irish specific, because it's nowhere else, right. You meet american guys they're like, oh yeah, like they have like a beer or two, right, yeah, but they don't have that level of detail that we do, which is like half a liter of gin, uh, like drugs, beer, cigarettes, on and on and on, and on, and on.

Connor : 12:05

Okay, so I'm going to give you a small intake on my, my overall summary on this. There's two people, two types of people.

Darren: 12:13

Lift up your voice a small bit, just in case.

Connor : 12:15

Uh, there's two, two types of people that I would come not compare, but I would say that irish people have a similar drinking personality too, and this this may be controversial to some people but I feel like I'm entitled to the opinion because I've spent two years and four and a half years living in both of these countries, I'm going to say the aboriginals in australia and the native americans in canada. I can resonate with the alcoholism that they go through. I can see the similarities massively, massively, and I you know that might rub people up the wrong way, but if it rubs up the wrong way, I think you need to sit back and look yourself and maybe look at some of the things that actually are going on in ireland with a clean heart and open eyes and maybe we can talk about it like what suicide rate, massive in those three, in those three nationalities.

Connor : 13:10

Um, isolation isolation, fighting violence, crime, massive. And you know, with the native americans and aboriginals they alcohol wasn't introduced to them for hundreds of years later. Our livers were getting it hundreds of years before and europe and these other stronger countries, these literally did hundreds of years difference. So there is a reason that there might be stronger with them right now. But I do think there's a massive mutual link there, just the isolation right as well, but also the trauma and the pain from what they've come through, because they've come through colonialism and big, big problems within their country, right.

Darren: 13:55

And then there's normalization, yeah, which is the other side right, which is like it's normalized to be, you know, having the two beers a night, or get back from have wine time, all this kind of shit. Like that's normalized and it's not even it's. It's broader, there's alcohol, but then there's also the food side as well. Like you look like, uh, people think you're on a diet. If you don't eat like mcdonald's, you know, if you're eating, let's say, a salad, uh, with chicken, if you're on a diet and there's something wrong with you and you're anorexic and you have a eating disorder, but if you eat the mcdonald's, good things right, well done. So I would say that's insecurity. Yeah, I agree because, like, if, um, you know, a lot of the guys are that are involved in it don't drink, like, like I said in contra, they hate being around the sessions, they hate, like, even if they go to some of the beach clubs here, it's like his brain dead. But a lot of times it's people that are most comfortable don't feel the need to conformity, right, and you have to go through that hump, right. Go through the sessions, go through the breakups, go through all that stuff and you're more comfortable with yourself as a result, because you can see the upside. So you know it's that kind of and then this normalization of we're so used to just drinking, partying and and having that as a scapegoat. Also, you mentioned about going to Canada. Yes, you 100% wouldn't have gone to Canada if you kept on drinking, because you spent half the week drinking and you spent the other half of the week recovering from the drink and you can't plan for big events. So I'm coaching a guy in particular at the moment who's incredibly intelligent, much more smart than me, same age as me, same demographic. The guy wanted to get really like senior in his career. I won't go into too much detail, so keep his privacy, but he was. So he was soothing because he was on this path. It's like a 10 year path and kind of happens slow and all this kind of shit. And I was like, is that the path you want to do? And he's like, yeah, this kind of shit. And I was like, is that the part you want to do? And he's like, yeah, I had the idea. And I was like 22 and now I'm still on it many years later.

Darren: 15:49

But then when he stopped drinking because drinking was affecting his relationships and his health and everything. He was like wait, I don't want to do that at all. Now that I've had all this time, back the time in my mind, he's like I actually want to go build my own stuff. I don't want to be tied to a business. They tie to a job or whatever.

Darren: 16:04

And now in the past month he's made more progress in the month than I would have made in two years, my first two years insane, isn't it? So he was able to build very, very basic version of, like a first version of a business. Uh, have a lot of clarity. He was able to train everything and we caught up last night and I was like dude, it's been a month, extrapolate two years where you can be, you know, and that's the irony with all this stuff it's like if you do the extrapolation, it goes back to the inverse. It goes back to the relationship in terms of positive or negative On a long enough timescale. It's fucking very dangerous to see where you could end up.

Connor : 16:38

Yeah, you know, and very positive to see where you'll end up too. Oh, absolutely, and it have to see we could end up too. Absolutely, and it's consistency like that. Just to show that guy one month of just some discipline and positive focus and he's still working 40 hours a week, 50 hours a week, look at the look at the results, the potential yeah, all potential too.

Connor : 16:53

It's. I mean, it's going to open his eyes. His eyes have opened wider, he's aware now and it's just a self-unlocking feeling. I love. I love hearing that. I love hearing that about other people. Um, you know, we're talking about the running stuff earlier. I, like I've, you know, great feelings getting through these mad races and events. But honestly, two of the most satisfying feelings I've ever had have been seeing my friend and kind of run coach, mentor, close friend of mine, marco manny. He did it. He fell short in a 200 mile race in the uk before and he dnf'd after 100 miles with a horrific injury. A year later, on the day he decided to run 200 miles self-sponsored event out by his home in watergrass hill and cork and he did it and I remember going out there on like he was already after running 110 miles or something.

Connor : 17:41

20 something hours in whatever. I went out there and I ran like 30 something kilometers with him, just chilling with him, talking good times to see him get through that 200 mile race and then to pace a brother of mine, brendan gregory, in canada uh, canadian, just savage trail runner, stonemason hustler, to see him podium at the fat dog 100 kilometer race. You know, crewed him for the day, paced about 36 kilometers with him through some of the worst section. To see him podium and to see mark do that was like some of the best feeling I ever had, because it all it comes back to that quote I give you like your friend will share your vision and if you are around people that only want the best for you and you see them get that, get that result, it's just like it's an overwhelming feeling of joy for me, like when I see someone get that.

Connor : 18:28

You know. Going back to my best friend, ronald riskell winning the wbc title, that's a vision that literally was brought to life. We spent two years as housemates in australia talking about that day. So then, for him to go and do that while I was living in canada, I was like, yes, my man, he did it, you know, and it's just, uh, it's just a great feeling to see people do well so you want, you want everyone to do well, but you can't bring everybody with you and not everybody's gonna want to come with you.

Darren: 18:53

Most people are gonna want to well, they want to pull to themselves, right. That's the hermosia thing, which is like the the judgment of a friend is someone who says good things about you behind your back and also wants to see you move towards your goal, basically, right. So like, when you achieve that goal, they actually want to be there for you. Um, and it's interesting, right, because I think it's different when, like, there's money involved. Like I've seen like horrific fucking shit man, like I've seen the worst things you could imagine in terms of like friends, like sad people in the back and ripping products and ripping businesses.

Darren: 19:22

I don't give a shit, I'll talk about all of it as well and it's almost like a jealousy and envy thing, 100%. And it goes back to survival too, right, it's like we're all trying to just survive and do the best that we can, and when there's money involved, it just gets so dark and messy and I'm still someone who's building businesses and whatever. But I'm just saying it's an interesting observation of other people to see how, when money's involved, how we interact. So it's interesting from a fitness perspective because it reminds you of like in the podcast perspective, which is like there's nothing really at play apart from personal, just achievement, whereas a second there's money involved. It's like that guy didn't do the intro, that guy didn't help that person, that guy actually said something behind his back and I see that play a lot.

Darren: 20:03

Um, let's go into some of the running side of it. So when you you know you mentioned about you ran with a couple of like savages guys and guys are really like fucking on huge things. Do you need to be like a savage to do these big events?

Connor : 20:18

I don't think so. I don't think so. Um, with ultra marathons. What I will say about ultra marathons is that you would have heard this I think zach bitter may have said something similar to this but it's like with the marathon, not any random person can show up and win it. Right, it's very, very rare, like insanely rare, when it comes to the ultramarathons, some guy you've never fucking heard of can show up and win, and it happens all the time. All the time I've been at 100 mile events, 120 mile events, where I've seen like a 21 year old girl who nobody's heard of podiumed in the female stage and I'm like like what the hell? Like, no, like you know, and that, to me, blows my mind.

Connor : 20:58

And that's why I think ultra running is so different, because you can have a plan in a marathon. You can. You can somewhat have a plan in an ultra, but, like, after a certain amount of time, plans kind of dissolve and it's just you're feeding off of fumes and you're deep in the cookie jar, as Goggins will say, and you're like thinking about all this other crazy shit that might happen in your life and then suddenly the pain is starting to ease up because you know what real pain is like and that, to me, if you can tap into a stage of pain or just unwillingness to make it like not to fail, that you're going to make the finish line, no matter what the tide will always turn like. During an ultramarathon, us, as humans, we can endure so much pain and suffering. It's outrageous, but most people don't want to believe that because, again, the world has become very soft and it's just take the easy route and let's celebrate finishing 10th and all this. You know, whatever it's like, humans are designed to run. It's literally what we do. It's the way our body is designed. There's no other way to say it.

Connor : 22:03

So, over long distance, I honestly believe. I believe anybody, anyone with a small bit of grit and determination, can sign up for an ultramarathon and finish it 100 like. I'd be such a big advocate for that. It's outrageous because I've seen it. I've seen the people that have done it. Man, if you pull me aside in 2018 and said you're gonna run 100 mile race next year and then you're gonna go and do some other mad distances and start taking this seriously, I would have said you are smoking crack. I would have said no fucking way, no way, not in my wildest dreams. Only stuff I ever thought I'd be good at is playing call of duty or, in my teenage years, watching porn or something like like I, you know like 100 like so, um, there's room for everyone in ultra running and walk me through that philosophy in your brain when you're when you're doing these races, can you pin to an example like what made you?

Darren: 22:53

like one example or a few examples, and I want to go through like the mental side of it. So like, well, let alone the training, we'll get into the fucking training. But like when you're going through and you're starting and you're looking in the barrel of 100 miles, how does that next 12 hours clear?

Connor : 23:09

like you just know you're signing up for a long day, it's gonna be, it's gonna be. You know you're thinking of good scenarios, but there's just this little voice in the back. You know like, oh, I know what it's like to run at this slow pace for hours and hours and hours and feel good. But then if, like, things don't feel great and you know you're gonna have to run slower, and then you're like working out in your head how much longer it's gonna take and it's just slowly kind of becoming this mental battle in your head, it can become quite dark and like in that first 100 mile race, I remember being 50 miles in and things were like going amazing. But then like started to have a problem with my feet bit of fractures and like blisters and then I was like, oh my god, now I have to run another 50 miles and I'm in a horrific condition. And then it was like the second 50 miles in that race took me like an extra six or seven hours in the first 50. So how?

Darren: 23:57

long was that race?

Connor : 23:58

um, it was a 30 hour cut off and took me 24 hours, 52 minutes, and I was absolutely battered by the end of it, like two fractured feet, and I had an open wound, blister the size of a baseball on the palm of my foot.

Darren: 24:09

I saw the photo man and that was in.

Connor : 24:10

Connemara, that was in Connemara.

Darren: 24:12

And the wind.

Connor : 24:13

Again as a rookie runner with a rookie crew, we all. Just, I don't know how we did it and, like I credit those three, them so much for that, because to cruise someone for 24 hours is outrageous. It's an obscene task for anyone.

Darren: 24:28

Did you even have food? Did you know what?

Connor : 24:30

to do right. I would have carbon copied stuff I'd seen online, seeked advice, brought food and drinks that I enjoyed, you know, some sugary stuff, some just basic stuff, you know, but there was no plan. I mean just absolutely winged it. I remember about 60 miles in I had like a spare water gallon pack and in the back of the car and it had burst in, like this container, over all my dry socks and like other materials we had.

Connor : 24:58

So I remember domi kelly, when my crew gave me a pair of his like cotton done stores, like non not running socks. So I had this open wound, fucking blister, the size of a baseball on my foot and then I had to put these cotton socks on over it and run 50 fucking miles with it. My feet were destroyed by the end of it and it was just I could feel the material of the sock, just every step, just like ripping in. And then I remember, like 82 miles in, they gave me at the time they told me they were giving me like a high, like a iberufin or some heavy dose paracetamol. So I was like so excited for it to make the next checkpoint for this like mad paracetamol they were going to give me because I was dying, got there, took it.

Connor : 25:39

You know, a couple hours later they were like yeah, we gave you a multivitamin tablet but, placebo effect had kicked in and from 82 miles to like 84 or 5 miles, I'd actually ran like 5k in like 21 minutes or something like outrageous. Like foot down was in savage mode and it was just literally placebo effect. I was just like that. It was insane and I remember right, I wrote about that in a blog I published and not long or maybe like a year after the race, I got a couple thousand thousand views, got a lot of feedback and like just the whole idea. That was insane, like I don't. So you know, I peed once. Actually that was one mad thing about that whole event. I peed once and even just recently in the Bali Hope race, I peed once and I mean like dribble, that was it. I'm like I'm take, I don't know, didn't need to, I was I'm taking on fluids and all good, but I literally peed once.

Darren: 26:25

So do you think that like your body is like made for these crazy endurance events?

Connor : 26:32

now I do. Now I do after badly. Yes, I know I have no fear of distance. Now I'm like I know what I'm saying. For if someone like wants to go and say you want to go run 100 mile race, or I was telling you like I signed up for the lottery for the moab 240 um a year and a half ago, got accepted. But like I had only signed up taking the piss at the time thinking I would never get accepted, got accepted. I obviously had a decline, but it was just at a mad time. I was just like holy shit, you know, couldn't believe it.

Darren: 26:57

100 would do it. So for context, that's 240 miles in the moab desert in utah.

Connor : 27:02

Yeah and I mean you're out there for more than 55, 60, 65, 70 hours, who knows?

Darren: 27:08

and the thing is like when you came here as well, so you ran the double marathon here, came to her and I want to go through that too and you said like oh, it was so difficult to acclimatize to the weather, like the humidity and everything, and like that's a whole different catfish as well, definitely just came through a canadian winter training block, freezing cold, dark rain, cold snow, to show up here to bali.

Connor : 27:28

And it's fucking humidity 92 or 3 percent. From start to finish of the race I was at start line dripping in sweat before we even got running. It was uh. For me that was the hardest part about that race was the constant dew and the like, the, the heaviness of the heat. It was just always there like I remember getting to the top of the ridge at 1600 or 1400 meters elevation and just going through the clouds and feeling the mist and I was just like this is heaven. It was like the best feeling ever. It was unbelievable, couldn't like. It saved me. And then it rained for about an hour. Heavy rain saved my race, saved me because I pushed so hard at the start that I needed a break and I I was rewarded with the rain. I was praying to god like please rain, please give me rain, because it just cooled me right down. It was amazing, honestly.

Darren: 28:11

Um, fuck man let's watch your dot. So you started, and then nowhere to bali. And then it's up mountain.

Connor : 28:19

For how many meters uh, started at 9 30 pm. First four, or first four kilometers is pretty flat, small bit of rolling hill and then you, just, you just see it, man, it's anyone that's been to lovina. It's petrified, it's steep, man, and it's like these kind of like irish back roads I would compare it to, but twisty, like tight bends, but steep. As you're doing these tight bends you, you know, you have to be a phenomenal athlete to run them.

Connor : 28:47

I was power hiking these corners you train on them no, uh, I did not do much hill training for this. I mean I ran the fat dog 50 last august. That had three and a half thousand four thousand meters climbing, a lot of climbing, but from august to I virtually did no hills. All of my running was low heart rate, cruisy, conversational pace, miles with friends, but racking up the miles, like starting at 30 kilometer weeks at the start of the year, 20, 30 kilometer weeks, coming through the injuries, building slowly, leaving the ego in the bin. It was killing me but I knew I had to do it. I was just like slow progress. 50, 60, 70 kilometer got off to before valley I think was only like 80, 80, 90 kilometers. I did not do the volume wasn't there, but the consistency and the discipline of nutrition and looking after my body was there and rested. I was so well rested going into valley so how does your body adapt for that?

Darren: 29:42

so, like I had a you know I'm preparing for a marathon and I had a physio yesterday like look at my legs, and he was like, basically, my calves, they're overused, okay, but because my body hasn't signaled even though I'm like cardiovascular strong and I'm like my mind is pretty fucking solid for the most part, my legs have not adapted mechanically and they're like saying no, like a big no, no, and they're shutting me down. So when you go from doing like 80k weeks to doing 82k in a day, how does your body not break down?

Connor : 30:13

I, I honestly I just rely on, I rely on lifetime miles. I'm like I've ran 100 miles before I've ran. You know I've done 50 kilometer training runs done. Whatever I rely on that. So solely I'm like in my head. I'm like you have been through worse.

Darren: 30:28

That's a big thing right, yeah, I'm just like yeah, I'm like I've been through worse.

Connor : 30:31

I'm like under worse circumstances, with less experience and less training. I'm like now I have lifetime miles, four or five years, coming up on 10 000 kilometers or whatever. I'm like.

Darren: 30:44

That's what I think about before a race question for your nisso is like why do you do this to begin with? Like what's going on in the brain to do this?

Connor : 30:52

purpose and fulfillment. How? Uh? Because running is a selfish act. I think. Um, it can be selfless when you do charity work, when you do run club, when you run with people.

Connor : 31:04

Yes, there's all these great positives but it's relatively quite a selfish thing if you're doing it solo. There's a lot of time on your own, there's a lot of time away from your partner, there's a lot of obsession there with it and it's consuming. But for me, coming from a team sport background where playing soccer, soccer, playing, hurling all these national irish sports uh, playing with unbelievable players like top, top athletes I was an average player at best in soccer and hurling. Played with great players, always made it to starting, got dropped a few times here and there. Remember playing great games out in cit against like black rock and the pear shakes, all these teams playing non-league against them was great. When it came to the big day and the pressure was on and I was starting couldn't pick up a ball because pressure just got to me and I think all of that.

Connor : 31:55

Now with running I take my anger out on running and I'm like running is me, it's like I'm relying on me. There's I put so much pressure on myself going into running, but it benefits me, it actually fuels my journey, running like even with the ballyhook um, I didn't really there was no nerves there with it any of these. Be right, there hasn't been nerves there until five seconds before. And then it's too late to be nervous because it started and you're running and you're already thinking. You know? Do you know what I'm saying? It's like you're already in the process of it.

Darren: 32:23

Do you want to launch a podcast for your business but you don't know where to start? Remove the stress, pressure and all the overwhelm that comes with it by working with Podcast University. If you're an ambitious individual who wants to build your influence online, grow your own podcast and also stand out from the crowd, podcast University is for you. We help you with the strategy, equipment, the content, your guests, everything you need to create a top tier podcast. If you want to learn more, check out podcast university and start your podcast journey. Today we're we're caught from the same plot with the same background and stuff. So I ran. I played rugby at a high level like I wanted to go pro in rugby. Uh, you know, let it up to everyone to decide what was I going to make it or not before I got injured.

Darren: 33:05

But I didn't like team sports for one particular reason was the fact that when you lost, there was one person's fault always and then when you won, it wasn't one person won it, it was the team collectively, whereas I was a sprinter, a 100 meter sprinter, and you fucking won and died by the, by the act. So it was very fucking clear who wins and it's very fucking clear who doesn't win. Yeah, and there's no debating it at all. You can get injured, whatever, but there's a first place and there is the losers, and that was what I was able to take into studying, my jobs, my startup, a podcast, and I don't view you know as as it, as a winner and loser game anymore, but I view it as in like, there's a fucking handful of winners out there, yeah, and they have that killer instinct, and I think that's what prepared me really well for not not necessarily running, but just just in life, in life in general because, like I, used to run a you know off season in the lashing rain in ireland.

Darren: 34:07

You'll find this quite interesting. You know where the merdike is. Yeah, you know the hills for sunday well, sunday as well you know the hills are like fucking this. Yeah, we used to run 200 meters up there. Um, like sprints basically in the winter. Uh, like lashing rain all through the winter, over and over again, and it becomes like autistic basically, because it's just like over and over and over again. And it becomes like autistic basically because it's just like over and over and over again, repetitive, and you do it for nine months to go into a summer of the season and then you show up and you see who fucking worked hard enough, basically.

Darren: 34:40

And what was also interesting here is the fact that the guys that are naturally talented in their younger years are usually the guys that fuck it when they're older because they had that natural talent and they let, they rested on the laurels and then ended up being fucking piss heads, yeah, whereas usually the guys that were coming six, seven and eight they were the dudes to watch out for same in business.

Darren: 35:00

Yeah, the guys that are not making money for a couple of years, they're the guys that fucking blow it out of the water because they stay in the pain. It's like running stay in the pain, miles on their feet, years in business time in the market and I fucking guarantee you're gonna. You're gonna win in the end. Because the guys that get not lucky but have a natural flair or their daddy gives them 100k for their business flashing the pan man in and out, in and out so I do. I think solo sport is a huge barometer for life, because it's how, how hard are you willing, how much you're willing to endure and how hard are you willing to go and for how long are you willing to do it yeah, back to the team sports thing as well, especially in ireland well you know probably many countries I do feel like there's a lot of uh politics and bullying almost that goes on within team sports.

Connor : 35:41

Like you said, there, like there's always it's one guy's fault that 15 players lost in a ga match I've seen that first time. Like I've seen goalkeepers get vilified and abused in front of their whole team, like I'm like you wonder then why half half these fellas are, why people from that background want to go and get pissed at the weekend then and throw away playing team sports for the pub instead. I'm like because they probably come through and seen like some mad stuff going with their managers and dude I remember, especially in rugby, people like kicking water bottles across uh locker rooms and throwing water bottles.

Connor : 36:11

Oh insane, all this like I remember being around that energy in fucking under 12s same under 13s, 14s parents shouting abuse at people on the sideline 100% fucking literally. Like I remember, bro, I'm getting ptsd from this like, like legit, like we've had a multi racial themes in soccer and sports. I remember going up to certain size of cock there and playing in other places and people literally getting racially abused at 13, 14 years of age. So you know george.

Darren: 36:36

Yeah, george is, uh, half indo, half scottish. The only place he's ever got racism in all of the world has been the uk. He's been everywhere in the world, he's been to fucking machu picchu, right, and he's never got racism apart from being in the uk. That's insane, and you, and despite what people in ireland think, uk and ireland are basically the same thing.

Connor : 36:56

Right, it's just there right same attitude, right so I just think it's a very interesting observation, right?

Darren: 37:03

because and this is where we go back to comparing to, like american culture, is that the reason why I've really kind of fell in love with the American mindset was because one they push people up around each other. You know like you're saying something there yeah.

Darren: 37:17

They're like that's amazing, like can I catch with this person? Like I was recording in New York, we built a studio. It was fucking mental basically. And when I was there the guy, one of the directors was like oh, if you go to hollywood in la, I can put you kind of with this guy, and then this guy put you kind of with this guy and austin, and then this guy will put you kind of this guy in miami. Yeah, and I was like dude, we just met four minutes ago and I really appreciate it yeah so they, they push you on right and same.

Darren: 37:43

In a sporting context, too, obviously it's competitive, no doubt about that. But what I'd like to think about with this stuff is that when you're around winners, there's a mutual understanding of competitiveness, but then there's also that but that togetherness of pushing each other on. Yeah, we're not pushing, pulling up anyone out of the gutter, right, let's make it fucking clear, right, like how the world works. But for the most part, when you have that initiative and you actually fucking work hard on something, then people will push hard together yeah, yeah, you want like as well.

Connor : 38:11

Back to what you're saying. I know it's kind of like you want people who are going to bring your name up in a room of opportunities when you're not there 100, and I've experienced that full-on last couple years. Like I remember um, in 2019, a few months after this running journey had kicked off and the races had all happened and I was about, I was about three or four months away from going to canada, but again, I was still in this kind of phase of like trying to mix the party lifestyle with running and I wasn't like I wasn't all in yet, but I was very, very close. I definitely wasn't all in financially. I was still kind of unstable and like not being very smart with my money at the time, but I remember this opportunity come up.

Connor : 38:51

I followed this guy called josh linus, this australian author, workshop creator, artist, insane endurance athlete, adventure photographer like he does it all. To be fair, he does it all and I'm actually wearing his t-shirt right now. So these are the days shout out josh linus, but he. I'd followed him for a couple years on instagram and I'd seen his first ever workshop go down the year before or a few months prior in shago island, philippines, running a mindset workshop. There was only a certain amount of people that could apply, get accepted, blah, blah, blah. There was one in november. I was meant to go to can uh, canada in january. So at the time I remember I was like I had a dream that I applied and got accepted and I was like I went for it. So I literally the next day I was like, fuck it, I'm going to apply when the opportunity comes up. I applied and got accepted, took it as a sign, did not have the financial savings to like go spend five $6,000 on this workshop and flights to the Philippines, taking like 10 days off work before I'm meant to be moving to Canada. Took out a loan and fucking did it and went and it literally was the best self-investment I ever made in my life and changed the course of the next five, going into the six years since.

Connor : 40:03

What happened? I remember the time I like just, for example, encouraged me to delete some social apps. I was spending too much time on Deleted Snapchat at the time, never downloaded it again, got more serious with the oh, like with the drugs and all that. It was like no more fucking room in Class A's or like like things got serious and this is like I'm going to take running more seriously. Goal setting.

Connor : 40:26

Like a lot of accountability and vulnerability went on in this workshop, like you're sharing things, you're planning and it just it set up the stepping stones for the next five years of my life and it wouldn't happen unless I just took that risk, man, and invested money into myself. Like how many times do you meet a person who's like I want to change so badly? Or it's like the victim mentality sob story. I want to change, I'm trying to get off this, I'm trying to become better and do this and all that. But the same person wouldn't spend a thousand euro or a thousand dollars on a workshop, on a personal development workshop. That's why you have to pay with your wallet to change you have to pay.

Darren: 41:03

Even like even when my mates, like he was starting a podcast and I sent him one of our programs and I was like pay for it, not because I need the money, but because you need to actually, like, put the deposit in so that, therefore, you'll go and make the difference. Yeah, otherwise, if it's handed to you, you won't do it. How much people have you given free advice to and I've never done anything. Unfortunately, it's 99, a lot, because they have to pay with their wallet. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars, it can be like 50 quid or 100, but the second you make that investment, you're gonna fucking do the work, basically 100 the investment, the hardest part is making that initial payment.

Connor : 41:36

But I feel like when you're in the process of that workshop, you're like, oh, thank god, it's like there's a bit of stress relief straight away. You're like I made a decision. Yeah, you know, and I just people spend insane amount of money on personal development and I I respect, for I'm like you are not, you are not, you're, that's not money you'll ever regret spending, like like travel. You never regret money you spend on travel, or your pets or your partners or what right. You just don't regret that money that you spend right, or your love, whatever. But when it comes to the personal development and the workshops and upskilling, we're human beings. It's we're in a forever learning environment that you can never, you're never, going to know at all. Yeah, so you have to continually try to know more and learn more and progress more, because it's just you're going to become stagnant. Otherwise, yeah, um, not to fill the void or other dumb shit right, 100.

Darren: 42:26

Even like people that make a lot of money and build businesses, when they've gotten to a certain stage let's say the business is making like a million a year they will. Then, because they have that kind of buffer, they'll fill the time with partying, going out, doing dumb shit, versus like spending that extra bit of time like okay, what's that, what else can I do? What can I do personally? Or even, like you know, get into running or get into events, because, like they, like you, only have health, wealth and relationships right and people chase wealth for so long and then as well, exactly, and then they neglect health completely and then spend the wealth on the health and, you know, ultimately have to use both then to work on the relationships.

Darren: 43:05

Yep, so that's the trifecta of like life, right? So that's why people like sahil bloom I follow very closely. It's very interesting because a lot of times when I used you know sahil bloom, not familiar, really big writer guy, so you should definitely follow. He's a very just, influential like figure. He was in private equity making. He was a partner in his early 30s, probably making a couple million a year, and then he left all that world, moved back to his parents on east coast Coast of America and then built a bunch of. He built a portfolio of companies and now, as a result, he has a child, he's married and he's much focused on the relationships and also the wealth.

Darren: 43:40

For sure, right, but it's almost a trifecta effect. It's hard to get right, of course, right, but you need to kind of solve all those problems individually. Like I know, you focused very much on your relationships and the health side and now hopefully I can help you with the wealth side. Oh, you know great, but hopefully I can help you with I think. I think a path for you is 100 coaching, like, I think, helping people. I said this the other day. I was actually writing this out. It was like I think for you what would be great is like helping entrepreneurs get into running.

Connor : 44:13

I think that would be fantastic, yeah, because they have the financial capacity.

Darren: 44:16

They're ambitious, they're willing and able, they have high commitment, they can make thing, they can make the engagement and um, they're the personality type that would do it. I think honestly like that. If you know, zach pod grip, yeah, yeah, obsession, obsession. So he's have him on strava. We've shared a few comments here and there. He doesn't, even he doesn't that would do it.

Connor : 44:28

I think honestly like that. If you know zach pogreb, yeah, yeah, obsession, obsession, so he's have him on strava.

Darren: 44:31

We've shared a few comments here and there he doesn't even, he doesn't have an offer, but I mean, he is the guy that entrepreneurs follow to learn about running, and he is literally only started running fucking less than a year ago, I guess like six months ago. I don't even know, I don't even know what his marathon time was. But he.

Connor : 44:48

I think he's trying to break the world record for the fastest marathon at the weight he is. I'm going to guess and say he's about 180, 185. I would say more, maybe more, more, more, more. But I know that that's a goal that he just set recently that he's going to try and attempt. But I mean, I've seen his injuries that he's been going through and there's times where he's like running great for weeks on end and then bang, he's out for a week and he's from like welcome to the club, brother. Like this is what happens when you push too hard, too early. Well, there's plan versus execution, right 100%. And like you're in it for a long run, like running is longevity. You are not doing like, yes, you can dive, for example.

Connor : 45:33

For example, when I did start those, that first seven months was insane but I suffered for two years after it because of it. My body was broken. I was in and out of the fucking rehab clinic, needling all these mad like I was. Just I could never maintain a consistent training block very, very rarely. And it was all because those first seven or eight months I went balls to the wall. I had no discipline and I was just like it was kill or be killed out there. I was like I'm gonna finish this race no matter what, like I don't give a shit if my knees blow out or my feet, I break my feet, I'm gonna finish and we'll worry about problems later. Yes, that was all good, like collecting the medals, and it's all great. But like that's not the fucking way that you want to approach it honestly, like you have to have some bit of consistency with the discipline and like the patience the patience is the big one okay, so as an ultra marathon runner, how should someone get into running?

Connor : 46:16

I, I would just start so slowly, like, even if you are from, it doesn't matter what background you're from team sports or not, you are doing this and you, I think good way is to journal it, feel good about the whole process. But start so slowly, man, and just build up like on a slow trajectory. You know, every, a, every cup, every. Maybe at the very beginning I would say every six, every five, six weeks. Maybe take a down week and only run like 10, 10, 15 kilometers and spend the time sauna, pool, cycling on a stationary bike, whatever. Focus on a bit of recovery and, as their journey progresses, maybe take a down week every eight weeks or then a year or two later, every 12 weeks or whatever. You know some people they don't take breaks and I get that, but not everyone can do that everyone. There's a bit. There's a lot of individuality with running and what your body can do, because every single human is going to be different with how they progress. It's a deload week, man.

Darren: 47:07

You need that bodybuilding, you need it. So you know, if you're um dieting and bodybuilding and you're training really hard, so you're training six days a week a lot of lactate acid you're walking a lot. So let's say you're walking 12 000 steps, which I know doesn't seem like a lot for a runner. Let's say you're walking a lot and you're dieting and you're not losing weight, the best thing to do is to take a break yeah, is to actually increase your food and stop training or train at 50 for an entire week from my jobs, because your body has been in this high tense state that it's just it's a stress, isn't it?

Darren: 47:37

stressed and it needs to like, almost like, alleviate, and then when it slows down, and bear in mind, I've had, I've had to have a coach tell me this, because otherwise you wake up like I'm sore, but I'm not a bitch, so I'm gonna go to the gym, right, and that's another ego man it is, yeah, it happens in running so much 100 and that's where I'm at right.

Darren: 47:57

Because you'll find it's interesting, because I haven't drank for two years and because my food's dialed in and my sleep is dialed in, my training's dialed in. My fitness is fucking good. It's good, but that doesn't mean my body is good. So that's the disconnect, right? Yeah, I can get on a road man and I can run and I feel fucking fine and even in the heat I feel fine.

Darren: 48:17

I I have never felt bad, but my body has felt bad yeah yeah, and my let, my calf and my hamstring there with the bones and muscles, yeah it's. You'll find it's interesting is that because I tore my cruciate on my left knee, my right leg has been compensating and then in my left leg, the left side of my hamstring is inactive and my glute and abductors, whatever's on the inside, is compensating and obviously this doesn't scale well back to the business bros. Right, the scalability of this is, yeah, on a 5k, all chill, but when you get into the dark territory, that's why I'm running into problems plus 20k right.

Connor : 48:56

Yeah, I like I would just tell people as well to be gentle with your body, you know, and really treat it like a temple when it comes to the running and the recovery. Like if you're not going to do the stretching, if you're not going to do the mobility work, going to do the strength and conditioning, if you're not going to do that because a lot of people don't, they don't do that I would say double down on things like the sauna, wellness things, ice baths, getting massages, because at least if you're getting massages and you're not doing the foam rolling and stuff, you are kind of making up for it with the massages. Um, and just really, you know you got to be gentle with it. I would like encourage like bit heavier people. Start running on grass, you know, definitely because it's just better on the body. Run on trails, softer on the legs, less trails, yeah even though, if like dirt trail.

Connor : 49:42

Dirt like your body's going to take way less impact running on dirt trail than it is on tarmac or concrete. What if that's uneven? So I still think it's a softer ground, so it's not gonna. I think that it'd be pretty well backed like that comment. To be honest, I think it's generally better for the body to be running on, even though it's the end yeah yeah, I think so.

Connor : 50:02

It's just softer. Like you're out there, you could run a like a full marathon. That's all. On tarmac, flat tarmac it's that same impact of flat. You're just banging the. It's just not good like it's not good. And I feel like in the ultra trail running scene there's a lot more older, seasoned runners that are showing up every single year from the age of 50, 60 onwards. Then there is season marathon, because marathoners will slow down as time goes on, and so do ultra runners in trail. I'm just saying, but in regards to consistency and actually getting out there and showing up all the time, I just feel like it's it's, it's safer on the body, I do, I think so. I just think concrete and tarmac is it's that constant banging and the joints just don't respond well to it.

Darren: 50:53

It's weird, right, because when I look at marathon versus ultra, I've been much more geared towards the ultra for the lack of ego, and I know you've mentioned this to me as well.

Darren: 51:05

The problem I am facing with the marathon is because I feel like, even though I haven't done it, I'm racing against the time, which is a number that I've made up in my head to impress people who don't care, for no reason yeah, I hear you whereas, and also because, like, the path for the most part, is going to be relatively even even though I know obviously some marathons can be up and down, whatever but for the most part, like the times are pretty static, whereas I feel like when you go plus 50, maybe plus 70 kilometers, the time is like largely irrelevant and it's just more so about like doing it and the community and how you feel and all that kind of shit which is kind of put.

Darren: 51:41

Uh, made me a lot more attracted to that versus because I saw a guy's video the other day. Was like a podcast I listened to and the reality of how to increase the speed of a marathon is like so fucking crazy, like the amount of extra work you need to do to be able to go like 340 to 330 to 320, 310 and obviously three that like that level of commitment or brutality you need to your body. This guy was a coach and he was like I wouldn't recommend it yeah, yeah, no, I agree.

Connor : 52:11

And like I've fallen in love with the further distance because I feel like my body adapts better to just being out there for longer and you know anything more than 50k, 50 mile, 100 mile, whatever. Um, my, I feel like I can run longer at a sustainable pace. But I have tried to up the pace of the marathon. Like my first ever marathon was like four hours 20 in my head. Going into that I was like I'm gonna do this in three hours 45. And I remember for for the first half of that marathon I ran with like the. You know I chased the pacers pack who were aiming for 330 or something. They dropped me after like six, seven k's and I was in excruciating pain and I remember having to like run, walk, run to the finish and then, you know, go go on a few months around like a 352 marathon, another 350 ish marathon and then went from there to like 330 and then went from 328 to three hours and 52 seconds when that was when I was training for sub three.

Connor : 53:04

I went down for boston qualifier in long beach and everything went amazing. Had like a sick training camp, really like put a lot of dedication into it and just cramped hard in my groin and had me at like 41 and a half kilometers Like finish line. I could hear the finish line and it was that close and it just slowed me down enough to stop me getting it done. Did it on the watch, did it on Strava, but chip time it didn't go my way on the day.

Darren: 53:27

How does that work in terms of you passed the start line and then you started did?

Connor : 53:31

it pick you up? No, because I was very, very, very close to the start line when I started, like right there, right, right there, but what?

Darren: 53:37

happens, though when did it clock?

Connor : 53:40

I really don't understand what happened, yeah? I don't know what happened that day. I just remember getting to the finish line in Long Beach and having a feeling that I'd fallen just short, but then seeing the watch and be like optimistic. And then when I checked the time it said that I was three. You know, 52 seconds shy or whatever, but I remember that day. So many people in long beach like it's again, it's a sold out boston qualifier, lots of people there.

Connor : 54:02

It's flat fast course it's like certain marathons are going to be qualification races for the majors Boston, chicago, new York, tokyo, berlin, whatever Right. So it was a Boston qualifier. I was going down there because I wanted to run sub three, I wanted to qualify and I wanted to run Boston while I still lived in North America. It was like a dream. It didn't happen. I missed out man and it humbled me dream. It didn't happen. I missed out man and it humbled me, um, and it pushed me kind of back towards. Like I'm kind of sick of the marathons. I just want to go and do ultras again because one I don't have to do as much like speed training and I can just like run easy miles all the time and I enjoy that more. When I was training hard for the marathon, I remember like coming home from a 30 000 steps day at work and like 30 000 steps work every day.

Darren: 54:52

Man like that was a fucking working.

Connor : 54:54

That was a big thing I was doing 10 hour days for four and a half years in canada and like all we do was just walking from one side of site to the other carrying material, walk and walk and walk, and time on the feet, boots on the ground, I mean like serious, serious steps, um averaging like 200 000 plus steps a week at work and that's before I ever even get to fucking come home and swap my construction boots into my runners. I was getting up at five o'clock in the morning, leaving my house at 5 45. I was getting home at 6 pm, 6 15 at best. Bro, you gotta start working online dark to dark. And then I'm out there trying to run a fucking speed session that me and my coach had talked about, or like I'm trying to follow a plan and it just it was too much, man, it was too much.

Connor : 55:36

And when I kind of stepped away from like trying to follow a coaching plan and because I was, I was getting, I was changing my life to suit my running plan, when really I should have been changing my running plan to suit my life, right, I was becoming way too like it was do or die, like I was fuck, I don't give a shit how fucking sore I was after coming home from work. I was going to go out there and I was going to fucking do this mad tempo session that we had planned and like I was fatigued man and I was always getting sick and I was just like beat up, really good that you dropped your immune system. Yeah, my immune system was beat the fuck up. I was in agony. I was just in bits man the whole time and that's when I was just like you know what fuck this? I was like I am just going to like even my coach kind of told me he's like it seems to be working better for you if you just tip away on your own because there's less pressure. Like yes, in the back of my head I was still putting insane amount of pressure on me to do well in the races, but I swear man, like going into ultras for me under trained and like fully rested, it seems to be giving me a bigger performance than like training my fucking balls off, being like burnt out from training and then like a little taper and going to race.

Connor : 56:51

It's like again with the longevity side of things and just taking it a bit easier but being consistent with it at a lesser pace and running with friends and enjoying it and not kind of being because I did the whole solo thing for like years. Man, I was just out there like a wolf running on my own and like just out there suffering and it's, it was fun and it was great and it definitely cemented the mental fortitude I have now for all these races and going forward. But I much, much, much rather enjoy like meeting up at the run club, like going running with people, socializing, running at an easy pace, running with, like you know, the run we did a few weeks ago with david who went from 5k to his first ever 12k. That gives me fulfillment. I'm like fuck, yes, love seeing that, you know, because it's just, it's just better. I just enjoy it more it's crazy man.

Darren: 57:38

So if so, if you're doing these runs like building up to an ultra, let's go through the training.

Connor : 57:43

So let's go through training from you when you're doing the marathon and let's compare that to the ultra training, yeah, marathon training, like I was clocking any, uh, like starting 40 50 kilometer weeks and then in the peak of it was doing like 80, 90, 100 kilometer weeks and you're talking, um, no, double sessions. I was just doing one session a day. I have done like my biggest ever week running was 200, and 211 kilometers in a week was my biggest ever week running was 200 and 211 kilometers in a week was my biggest ever week running, and that was in a week. That was when I wasn't working, though that was when I was not working.

Connor : 58:17

At the time I was back in Ireland, um, for nine weeks during the pandemic and I really dove deep into the what can I do when I'm not working? Because I've always been trying to work and run. So I'm like I want to know how much I can run with all this energy and free time. So I was running 30 kilometers a day for a week and I was starting off every morning with a half marathon, going home, eating, sleeping for a couple hours, napping, hydrating, and then in the evening, you know 6, 7 PM, for sunset I was going out with a friend doing a little you know nine or eight or nine K run or whatever I was mixing up some days I would do the second run might be five or six K and then under days it'd be nine or it might be a bit more, but my biggest ever week was like 211.7 kilometers.

Connor : 58:59

And is that, preparing for an ultra. That was at the time I was going back to Canada with the idea of trying to race the whistler 100 or the fat dog 120. I was mad ideas. Like I didn't do either of those races. They both were both cancelled due to the pandemic, probably grateful because that would have.

Darren: 59:17

I don't know, to be honest, what would have went down with me and those at the time and are those so sometimes I see like those trails for the ultras and they look so fucked up like they look dangerous, intimidating as hell yeah, like the one that I was looking at Vietnam we were discussing in hygiene loop in the top, like the way that they describe it versus the way that it is.

Darren: 59:40

You know, back to what they described, how the Bali Marathon was, or Bali Ultra. Like they said, it's tough and it's trail, but like the, the hills literally look like a fucking. It looks like a picture, like isn't, it's not fucked up?

Connor : 59:55

oh, when you look at the elevation of some of these like triangles. I mean there's a, there's, there is a heap of hundred mile races out there and further they'll have more elevation in the race than mount everest. There's loads like, and people can't even fathom that, but like there is like the whistler 100, almost certain that has similar or if not a small bit more elevation than than that. So I'm like these races are out there, man, and it's what?

Darren: 1:00:21

what's the type of people that do that like? What would their background be? Because when I watched the backyard like some of them were like teachers, I know um corny the wall.

Darren: 1:00:29

She's also a teacher and beer drinker, pizza eater yeah, and that's guy sam harvey, like left his job because basically everyone doesn't know it as a backyard ultra, which is a. The race never finishes until everyone gives up. So you run every hour 7k until the last person standing. So this guy sam quit his job because he planned to run for six days straight and he couldn't take six days off work. This was in the outback in australia. But then you have people like my friend ned, who, like you know, built a massive tech company and stuff. And then this guy called scott sambucci sambucci, another huge entrepreneur guy from san francisco. He does ultras too. So there's obviously like that breed of individual who's like the entrepreneur. But what's the other type of people basically?

Connor : 1:01:16

I mean, you get them all. You get them all. What's that trait, though? What's the trait in the brain? I still kind of want to believe that every single one of them has some fucked up shit that's gone on 100%. Some trauma, some life event that kind of altered the path and changed the way they were going to live the rest of their life, but doesn't are you an entrepreneur who wants to build your influence and authority online?

Darren: 1:01:42

you may have tried some of the hacks and tricks, but none of it has worked. And it makes sense. 90 of podcasts don't make it to episode three of the 10 that are left. 90 of them don't make it to episode three Of the 10% that are left. 90% of them don't make it to episode 20. That's where Vox comes in.

Darren: 1:01:56

Vox creates, manages and grows your podcast for you, on your behalf. If you've not been getting leads, not been growing consistently, you haven't found your tribe and you don't know what to do. Vox is the answer. Don't just take our word for it. In the past couple of years, we've managed, managed over 35 podcasts. We've also been able to generate over 55 million views with 500 episodes produced, and not only that, generating over 1 million dollars for our clients in products, services and sponsorships. So if you want to learn more about how you can build a great podcast and have a fully managed for you, schedule a call with me at voex and we will help you achieve your podcast goals. And everyone, though.

Darren: 1:02:32

So like, yeah, so like I've ventured on like horrific ptsd, like I like right now, like, without a doubt I have like the worst ptsd I've like ever experienced my entire life. It's really bad and the way I describe it is uh I joke about it sometimes which is like you know, I'm born identity. When he's walking through paris and he's like who am I, jason born? That's how's how I feel sometimes Really fucked up, really fucked up.

Darren: 1:02:54

And some could say the reason why I'm an entrepreneur is because of those events, and that's a very easy thing to say. Right, it's always the entrepreneur who has something wrong with him and instead of going to therapy, he runs. But I would also say the guy that sits in the council estate and drinks vodka 24 7 also something wrong with him, but doesn't do it. So I think that everybody has something that's fucked up. Yeah, it's all about like how you channel it and for me, like I'm just a builder, like I just between whatever that goes on in my life, which is like half, it's like really fucking horrific, especially lately. I can sit and work on something and not think about anything else for a very long period of time. I can run and train really hard, I can train the gym, I can record, like now, and not worry about things, but when I slow down and stop and think is when I have, like my worst intrusive thoughts I hear you well, you're not just a builder, you're, you're a.

Connor : 1:03:53

You're a creative artist too. Yeah, just in the building essence, like as in.

Darren: 1:03:57

Like I love to build shit, you know. I mean like I love to build things from the ground up. That's the way my eyes work. I can see. I can see things. I can literally see how things can turn out businesses, products, services, um, marketing. I can just, I can visualize things. Yeah, that's what I can do. You're envisioning it? I can just, I can visualize things. Yeah, that's what I can do. You're envisioning it. I can just visualize something you know, and then I can go and build it and I can dedicate. Luckily, I'm in a good position financially whereby I could dedicate a lot of time to sitting there and working on something without the return for a very long period of time Do you think?

Connor : 1:04:38

do you think like, have you actually have you taken time to reflect on the whole journey? Because, like, sometimes I feel like like even me now it takes, it does like, yes, it takes time for me to look back on things like damn, that actually happened or whatever. But sometimes it takes time like me to look back on things and be like damn, that actually happened or whatever. But sometimes it takes time Like it can take like there's shit that I didn't get over for years. It's still not over.

Darren: 1:04:58

So you're saying the positive stuff or the negative stuff, both. So, on the positive stuff, I think, because of Elise, we have like a decent enough grounding to look at things and, like you know, look at big podcasts and look at this podcast, I think that was great. And then, with the business, it's so funny, like you know. Like two years ago I had in my journal being like, oh you know, leave my job, live somewhere cool, build a business to 10k a month, and like life will be great. And then, like I look back in it now and I'm just like, oh, my god, I can't believe I was thinking so small, you know. And then, because of where we're kind of at now, and then that's a blessing and a curse, right, because it's like that, that is great and I'm really happy I achieved that. But I don't always look at that. But it's hedonic treadmill to some degree. There's two sides of hedonic treadmill, though there's one, yes, it's, it's you always want to be improving, um, but also the stakes get a little bit higher, right, like I have a fucking full team. So, you know, making 10k a month unfortunately doesn't make payroll anymore, but when you're a kid it's fun. So I think that there is like an adoption period. Um, it's kind of like I know that's a bad example I was gonna say, like you know, if you have your first child, I guess people are like that's amazing. And then a second child, they're kind of used to having a child, so it's less of like an amazing effect. Right, that's one side, but I do stop to slow down and and where we currently are and for this a small bit, but I still want to be pushing on to do more. That's one thing.

Darren: 1:06:16

On the negative thing, the biggest thing for me that really fucked me up. I think the biggest thing was like suppression. So I don't know, this is like so fucked up. But basically I got through like a lot of like really bad trauma as a kid and like as like a teenager and my brain had suppressed a lot of the thoughts, and then it wasn't until my mid-20s when I started to remember what happened. But this is the problem when you start to remember what happened, you start thinking did it actually happen? Yeah, or is my brain?

Connor : 1:06:45

playing tricks on me. Yeah, I hear you.

Darren: 1:06:47

And then, as time went on, I was like, okay, it actually did definitely happen. But then where we're currently at with that is the fact that my two things one, it's liberating because I think, well, if I did that, I can do anything. If I was like went through really bad trauma and abuse as a child, I can do anything. But the flip side of that is, what else is there that I haven't seen yet? Yeah, and what's ironic is, before I started to figure this out, I watched tim ferris on ritual and tim ferris did a seven-day fast and he did like ayahuasca and all this shit he had a psychedelic sir and I opened her and he, he remembered.

Darren: 1:07:20

I don't want to misquote it, but he was abused as a child, a parent, I think it was very, very young and he started to remember. The neural pathways opened it up in his brain and I remember watching that being like how the fuck did he not know that or how did he not remember it? But he didn't. He didn't see it until plenty of years later and he's like 40 and there was some shit. So my biggest worry right now is what am I not remembering? Yeah, and what am I suppressing through building this business, building the podcast, running fucking loads of miles, and what do I need to do to be able to remember?

Connor : 1:07:58

yeah, but I think just I get this with my opinion. You on kind of unlocking this and come to terms and seeing what, seeing it, let's say, and not suppressing it anymore. Some of the stuff you're telling me about that's. That's in my opinion. That's only happened because you've chosen this sobriety journey 100. If you were still drinking and doing drugs, you would have never that wouldn't. You wouldn't have 100, right. So again, you stay on this sobriety train. You may see more. You may not. You may not did that. You might have just got all the bad demons out of the way in one go.

Connor : 1:08:29

But you have to use it as fuel. No matter what 100. Use it as fuel. It can be clean or dirty fuel, my friend. They're going to feel different people like. Use it whatever it is. Use it to inspire your own journey further and help you grow further. And it's going to help you with the bodybuilding. It's going to help you with your business. It's going to help you with the endurance sport that you're now diving into. You know those things are important too, but the fact that you've realized it and you're now dealing with it is absolutely. That's a massive positive. That's a huge positive celebration and you need to celebrate that too, you know. Don't, don't beat yourself up and allow the ptsd of it all to consume you either too much. Sure you know you should. Like you said, it is liberating in a way.

Darren: 1:09:08

Well, there's two sides to it's like one I, I see, as I mentioned, this is like it's like, if I did that, I can take this call, yeah, I can pitch this client, I can do this, I can build that business. But at the same time it's like really sad because it's like, oh, I did go through that, and like that's really upsetting, because if I was to look at someone else who was a child and experienced some of these things I've experienced, I would think that's really sad, you know, and that's what kind of like I'm like, oh, and then like a lot of the other side of that is like am I doing the things that I'm doing because of the things that happened to me, which is like another conversation. Yeah, so like one is like the scarcity around money. Um, grateful, I don't have a money problem anymore, but am I only doing that because I had a money problem, which is like an obvious, like conundrum. But then the other problem then is like all like the validation and the search for like meaning and all this kind of shit and all that kind of stuff. And then like, for instance, like ned or mentor, like ned is like a dad to me and he, I like value his opinion versus over like everybody else. So when he calls me on my bullshit, I'm listening very attentively and I would get like if something goes wrong or something comes up, he's the first person I call.

Darren: 1:10:18

And that also puts me in this position where it's like, well, is that only happening because this happened? And this is why I think this is why a lot of people that are like that do a lot of this internal work, just get so fucked up, basically because of the process, because it's like this black hole that you're going down, you're investigating, investigating, investigating. I've done a ton of psychedelics too, and they really did help with that. Some were party, some were not party, and now I'm just too busy to keep to try that more right, you know I mean uh, but I want, I do want to do it. I feel like that, like an ayahuasca trip is, for this is like calling me effectively, because you know they say ayahuasca like ayahuasca is known as the most traumatic of all, though and and, but apparently, like it, like calls you, it does.

Darren: 1:11:02

Yeah, yeah, only when you're ready, you'll know, you'll know like for me right now?

Connor : 1:11:05

I'm definitely not considering it. It's not something that I look at. I've done loads of, you know, magic, mushroom psychedelics and other stuff like that but and acid and things, and they've opened my eyes to some crazy things. But but when the time is right, you know, and ego debt right, definitely, definitely yeah, it's fucked up, though, man.

Darren: 1:11:24

It is so fucked up, and that's why it's really interesting too, because, like you know, I've just been building for all of my 20s. Obviously, I was fucking doing retarded shit when I was a kid, but like that's over, and then this new phase, and then I'm kind of like, oh well, like is this new phase not new phase as in, is this period of my life only because of what happened? And that's just like if, if that's true, that's like really sad, because that means I've done everything that I didn't want to do. I, I'm only doing it because of what happened, which is like retarded, that's, that's like stupid to think about. But it's only true if you admit it to be true, or if it's only true if you let it to be true, whereas for me, it's like it's just keep moving forward, keep moving forward, keep moving forward.

Connor : 1:12:06

Yeah.

Connor : 1:12:06

You know it's rough man, it's a rough experience you know, I think, just getting to this age in general, though, you know your late 20s pushing into your 30s it's strange time, man, because you're looking around like so many people, you know whether you're close to them or not, just it doesn't matter. It's just like everyone is kind of at these different crossroads. But I feel like everyone's at those crossroads when you're early 20s too. But I feel like people meet at the same crossroads again in their late 20s and early 30s. Like people are like dialing on the house and the mortgage, or it's like they're traveling, or they're running, they're doing, uh, sporting endurance events, or they're you know it's, or they're having kids, or it's just like you know, I don't know. It's just it's interesting. Everyone's caught up in something, everyone's caught up in something. Well, that's the thing, right just busy, like being like.

Darren: 1:12:55

People fill their mind to be busy right without thinking about what they truly want, and that's why, like I think, a lot of people don't know what they want, though but that's why, if you don't know what you want, you'll be told what you want.

Connor : 1:13:04

Yeah, and you shouldn't be told what you want, but you will be, you will, oh, you will be, yeah, no, no, no, you will 100.

Darren: 1:13:09

If you don't have a plan, you will be assigned a plan. Yeah, the system is designed to give you a plan. Like there is a reason why mortgages are like zero percent interest rate is because you don't know what you want, so here's a mortgage. There's a reason why the care is on financing because they know that they can tap into someone who doesn't know what they actually want and just give them the shiny object. Same with the job, same as a promotion, same with the golden handcuffs. Like that is a system.

Darren: 1:13:34

And the best way to realize that the system is because it's for an outcome. So every system that's created, whether it's pouring this coffee, has a desired outcome, which is drinking the coffee and enjoying coffee. But to create a system you need to build a system, which means there has to be an outcome. So if you're getting people to work for a job that you want, or getting them to take the mortgages, or to get the to have the baby, so that they buy the baby products, that is a system that's been created. And if you don't create your own like reality basically, or don't create your own viewpoint, you'll just be given the. That's why it's called the default plan. Yeah, because you haven't thought about it. And bear in mind in that pursuit of them handing you a mortgage and keys and you know fucking all this kind of shit.

Darren: 1:14:17

They'll sue you through alcohol and drugs yeah, and other supplements and things that are going to grab you from whatever you know, brother, like gambling oh 100 porn, gaming, shit, diet, addictive food.

Darren: 1:14:30

The list goes on the countries that we're from. Do you think that they could have stopped porn? 100, 100. It's illegal in indonesia. You can't log on to it. I've tried, I'm joking, but you can't log on to it. Yeah, so you get rid of it. Why is it allowed? There's obviously a scheme there, same with alcohol, for marketing. You look at the champions league, heineken cup, all this shit. Right, they got rid of tobacco.

Connor : 1:14:54

Yeah, but they haven't got rid of tobacco no, no, why replace it with vapes, even better exactly a lot of shit.

Darren: 1:14:59

Who won? Who owns it? Right, yeah, go and like. This is where it's just so funny if you, if you, deconstructed the whole system. Everyone looks at america. Let's look at america, because everyone knows shit in america. All that system of like tobacco, the tobacco companies, who owns them, they're all integrated with politics. They're all integrated with different people. Same with alcohol, same with the food system. So if you go to New York at 6am in the morning, you can only eat from Taco Bell Chick-fil-A. I don't even think my town is open, man. There's a few other ones that are open about 5 or 6am. The every 6 am. The supplier is the same supplier for each company, but then you just drop all different products. It's owned, the system is actually owned in that process, and then you're just fed what you're fed. Yeah, you know and like.

Connor : 1:15:43

That's how you become sick in the mind, bro, listen pandemic. The gyms are closed, but mcdonald's was open, bro it's all a fucking scam, but back back to the system and the whole 95 and all this.

Connor : 1:15:53

Like you, we work to live. We don't fucking live to work, man, and that's it like. And if you don't ask, you'll never get. Like the amount of people I've worked with in a job who will fucking work with the same company for years and they'll never ask for a raise. Like, bro, your boss isn't gonna fucking ring you up and say, yeah, listen, of course there's exceptions, there is bosses out there who may do that, but I'm just saying, like, mostly in companies, your boss isn't going to fucking ring you and be like thank you, so, thank you for working so hard, I'm going to give you a raise. Like, you have to ask for these things, man, you have to grab it by the, you have to grab it by the balls. If, bro, if you can't take rejection from your boss, you're working for the wrong guy.

Darren: 1:16:28

Yeah and that's what I want. I want to help you completely free just from my own fucking time, to build something, because you have a lot of talent in coaching the mental health side of things, just how to communicate with people that it would be a disservice of me to not help you in terms of creating a structure to be able to protect yourself oh, thank you, man.

Connor : 1:16:48

I appreciate that. A lot of gratitude for that you know, and look, it's mutual when it comes to distance running and anything I can give to you on that side of things 100%.

Darren: 1:16:55

But it's the skills right. You could fucking strip me naked and put me in the middle of fucking the desert and I'd figure out a way to make sales calls. I swear to God, man no-transcript, you might find her. Justin waller, you hang scaffolding in? Uh, louisiana, build a scaffolding company. They target all these big fucking companies. In the end he's doing 35 million a year. He's been on it for 15 years building up this business, the scaffolding business.

Connor : 1:17:32

Uh hanging steel, whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah, hanging, yeah, that's what I do. I need to send that guy my cv, exactly right.

Darren: 1:17:38

But what I'm trying to say is that like, uh, you know, he learned the skills basically. So like when you, when you build those skills, it's almost like liberating, because then you know, like you're almost like unfuckable to some degree right, yeah, yeah because like, yeah, like you'll get curveballs and so on and so forth in life, but if you have the skills like, you can go again right, like we have a podcast business. If podcasting evaporated tomorrow, we could create a content business for instagram.

Darren: 1:18:02

Yeah, same shit, yeah yeah fucking video, audio writing content same shit over and over again. Um and I often say that with a lot of our clients is the fact that, like when they have businesses in the back end which is like coaching, consulting, software products and stuff, it's the same shit. Attention, attention becomes followers, followers become fans, fans become loyal fans, loyal fans become raving fans and then they complete the cycle yeah, I agree and you just do this eternity basically.

Darren: 1:18:30

So that's part of the infinite game too. Right is like how you set yourself up so that you can basically play a game that goes on forever, you know biggest strangers are the biggest fans too, which is so crazy, isn't? It 100%, and that's why so mad, that's what you're doing.

Connor : 1:18:41

Like you need to start posting so mad I've got these people like I've bro like but what's interesting is? They are literally in my dms. They're replying to stories like encouragement, like planting seeds in my head that are positive and I'm like, fuck man, I don't even know this guy or this gal and I'm like got big love for them, you know.

Darren: 1:18:59

I'm like yes, think of the people that haven't messaged you to follow you oh listen, it's wild, so that's the biggest thing.

Darren: 1:19:05

So guys will not reach out to guys generally, but they will implement the feedback. So I've had guys who quit alcohol or build their first business or build their first product. They'll never message me, yeah, but then they might mess me two years later and say, hey, I actually built this business from this podcast, but two years ago. So it's almost like you plant the seeds and like that's your legacy, man, like that's that's what actually is a legacy. Like people say the default legacy is like a family, but like it's not. It's how you build your authority and influence and distribute your ideas across the plane.

Connor : 1:19:34

Yeah, the plane of field. Like I was telling you, when we met there, when we went for that run, I was like I feel like I'm in in a 10 000 piece puzzle for this kind of career move or choice or decision with the coach and all that and I'm in like the 9 000s. I'm up there, I'm just like trying to piece the final stuff together. I've taken steps towards this. I've had action.

Connor : 1:19:52

I got out of my comfort zone in vancouver, worked with a local ga team out there who reached out to me after seeing a post about like mental health and running and was very taken back like by them reaching out to me. I met the director of the club. Um, kind of pitched what I could offer. He was all for it, was very intrigued by the story and did you know? Multiple weeks meeting up with his uh his team in the piss and rain, freezing, cold, just running laps, doing like these exercises, doing group runs, whatever, and just building a kind of a brotherhood, you know, like this community camaraderie between this group. Like they they hadn't won a game in like fucking a few years or something just went out to watch their spring league final there, like a week before I left, and they won and I was just like dead in boys first jay game.

Connor : 1:20:39

I went to watch it in vancouver in four and a half years, but it meant a lot, you know, because I was like I felt like I was a part of something like and it felt so good that this random like guy, um martin costello, showed up to me, reached out to me and, like, put, made an opportunity happen for me, you know, and it was just like man, that is amazing.

Darren: 1:20:54

But what you probably felt that it was, you know, so novel to you is because it was, in a football sense, right, whereas, like, if you had in the domain of running, that's when you will feel most comfortable. And I know, like in your brain this is always what happens with offers is that people think like, oh, there's like all this piecing it together. But when you like have the offer, which is you help people get in the running, the things that pop up, you will be able to solve, like I'll get on a client call now and I won't prepare anything. They'll get on and be like how can I do this? And I'll just know the answer intuitively, because I've just put in the reps.

Darren: 1:21:25

You know could be very obscure, but I'll know, like how to basically solve that problem. So what I'm trying to say is that, like what your domain of expertise, you need to probably like let go of the formalities and just almost like let the process happen. And, as you mentioned about community, a beautiful thing there is like you have your one-to-ones and then you have like a group, yeah, like on uh, whatsapp, and then the guy's like throwing his travel links and all this kind of shit right, and then like there's good, there's good, uh, a good ethos basically, and then that can kind of scale and so on and so forth.

Darren: 1:21:55

You're the key person of influence and man, I'm telling you like these guys will pay you 300 to 500 a month, these entrepreneur guys, they're going to learn from you, and so on and forth. You'll take care of like a bit of nutrition, the running, the recovery. Just chime in, yeah, check-ins once a week on, like loom or whatever, and trust me, man, you'll fucking crush it. And what you'll do is like you'll build the skills to be able to be like, okay, look, this may be something I want to do. Like 10 clients for you is 5k, 20 clients which you can easily handle, it's 10k. Um, that's how this happens. And then you might think, ah, I don't want 20 clients, I'll create a course course. You sell 100 courses. Okay, now we just need 40 key on the courses. You know that's how this kind of stacks. Right, it's small in the beginning, and then you start having that offer. It's called like an offer. Ascension Is that you get people in for free, get them on a small offer, the higher offers, and so on and so forth.

Connor : 1:22:51

I'm all for it and again, just the just pieces together. No better time than now. I know that, um, I am definitely making moves towards it. I was chasing this niche there, for I was kind of self-obsessed with this niche for a few months of I was trying to get into this role of like being a run coach. Nutritionist coach for professional fighters would have had to probably go and chase nutritional certificate or whatever just to have that there. You don't need it. Okay, all bollocks, all right, that's bullshit. So I was kind of looking at that. But then you know, kind of just not to that.

Connor : 1:23:21

I'm like should I, you know the workshops, or is it like you're saying, with the entrepreneurs? Should I be chasing like high profile entrepreneurs who want to go and run their first ultra marathon or go do a desert marathon, who need a guy to crew them, and they're, you know, like, because, like I am for the coaching, like shit, man, I have like a fucking 2013 macbook or something like it doesn't matter, it's all you know on the phone, whatever. Like I, I talk the ears off someone. Man, I talk all day. I talk for ireland. Uh, being on the phone like that's when I spend most of my life on my phone. Fuck bro. Having to do that two-hour break work session the day before the ballyhop ultra was probably the longest break I had without a phone in fucking months or years.

Darren: 1:23:58

Well, it's simpler than that, right? Because, like for every sort of value exchange is a certain amount you need to deliver. So if someone's paying you 200 a month, they're not expecting you to fucking change your life forever, right, they're expecting you to help them with their running, making sure that that's in check, review some of the runs and that's it. These guys aren't looking to run ultras, they're looking to get fit and healthy. Yeah, yeah. So like you go back to like the outcome. The outcome isn't to run an ultra. The outcome is to pull up my pants and it my belt to be tied so that I'm not a fat fuck for my kid yeah, yeah, yeah, like that's what you're selling yeah, you're selling the light, you're selling the, the dream, which is like their wife is more attracted to them, they're healthier, they have more energy more mindset

Darren: 1:24:36

more focus, exactly, they're more well equipped and their kids don't hate them. Like that's basically what you're selling, right, that's what you're doing to run it, and then your vessel is running. Right, the vessel is running it. The vessel is irrelevant, it could be rowing.

Darren: 1:24:49

I think that's the zone of genius, right, because, like you have the, the offer which is selling at the wealthy people, which should always be you should never work abroad people in general, right, that's where you should sell the wealthy people. And then the vessel is your experience, and then the mechanism then basically is just like one-to-one coaching, no calls, receipts, yeah, just checking stuff, and then that will kind of build over time. And then, if your biggest concern is that you have too many clients, it's fucking good concern to have and there's a very simple solution to solve that. It's not a bad problem. Yeah, and like, like, bear in mind, I've done exactly this model, exactly this model for people coaching sales teams, neuroscience coaching, software engineers same shit, same shit. Person has pain, which is they're fat and lazy and broke. Fat and lazy, they want desired outcome. They're not fat and lazy, they want a mechanism to get there. They don't know how to get there.

Connor : 1:25:42

You are that part example now, just something that happened to me just today. I'm in okay cafe in changu earlier with the missus having breakfast this morning. I couldn't help, but I was overhearing a conversation behind me. It was two americans are talking um didn't see the second guy, but I could just hear this conversation ongoing and they were in there I would say late 30s, 40s, but I just the first part of this guy's conversation was he was like oh, he's. Like my face is all inflamed, I'm drinking like two beers a day and the hours are getting by. I just wanted to turn around and just smack the shit out of this guy and be like it's not that hard, like I think he was talking to a coach because there was a bit of wellness check going on as well. But I was just like fuck man, you're in Bali, bro, like you're in, like what can be going wrong here? Like you know, do all these things in a country like this to help yourself you can also do the opposite.

Darren: 1:26:35

You can, you can. But again, if you're like, if you're living here, shit man.

Connor : 1:26:39

You would want to be on the healthy train side of things, like you're not. Like fuck, I mean I get it if some 18, 19 year old just came here from australia on his finishing school holiday, like like the ir in Magaluf or like the Yanks do in Cancun. I get it, but that's 18, 19. I don't even like this was kind of late 30s or 40s. Come on, man.

Darren: 1:27:00

That's why you need to have a personal responsibility.

Connor : 1:27:02

Everything starts with you. Like I said, you cannot. You cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. If you are just going to play that victim mindset and be like just crying, bitch and moan and just fucking feel sorry for yourself and oh, it's the same repetitive shit every week and you're going to go and you're going to do the all the shit that you know is got you in quicksand and you're not progressing. It's going to drag you down further into the depths of hell every fucking week. Self-sabotage, it is absolute self-sabotage at the highest order, but it's everywhere. It's everywhere. And you know, I do kind of have pity for those people and, like I said, being around a lot of those guys in construction, it fuels me to be better. I kind of need to see that. It's like I I honestly right.

Connor : 1:27:44

Some people might disagree with this homelessness on the street. I feel like that's a problem that could be solved by the government if they didn't spend so much money on war and all this other shit. But but we need to see that. That's what people need to fucking see, because abc mark david and this person and all these other people walking down the street on the way to their 95, they see that and they're like, holy fuck, I better show up tomorrow for work. It's like a fear. It's like a fear. It's always been there, though, since time times, as all this time there's been people on the streets begging, there's been problems. There's a reason that they don't fix it, my friend well, that's why the society is so soft.

Darren: 1:28:19

Now, right, because everything is given to you. You can get uber, you know. You can get uber eats delivered to your house. The jobs take care of you so quick.

Connor : 1:28:26

Amazon next day delivery, same day delivery.

Darren: 1:28:29

So, basically, the hand me outs. People are looking for more and more and more and they don't think that they're going to be in that position. And this is where it's funnier. It was like no one's coming to save you, especially if you're a fucking man. Yeah, no one's coming to save you. So that's why, like I was saying to you about like, building those skills so that you know if shit hits the fan, you can make 4k a month or 5k a month. They decrease your expenses. Chill out in valley for a few months, you know, spend 400 quid a month or whatever it is on rent and sit your, set your life up in a way that you're protected because, like, yes, it's a heaven and hell analogy, right, jordan jordan peterson talks about this like, if you don't make those fucking changes, hell is on the way. Yeah, right, those dark times are coming. You're gonna lose your job. Gonna, your business is gonna fucking tank relationships, kind of shit.

Darren: 1:29:12

Yeah, you need to stay on top of that stuff um, so yeah, like it's almost like an awakening right, it's, it's, it's the awareness that you're gonna need big time it's, uh, it's just a mad.

Connor : 1:29:24

It's a mad one, isn't it all of it?

Darren: 1:29:27

well, yeah, I don't know. I think there's there's two sides to it is also like you're in control of your own destiny. So like, instead of guys just blaming the victim mindset is that you need to be able to control the controllables. So like, yeah, let's say you're fat right now. Like, look at the look at the reality for where it is If you're fat, if you're the weight scale, and then see what can be done. It's not gonna happen overnight, like you said about running right, which is like, but it's easy little tweaks along the way.

Darren: 1:29:56

Yeah, that's why, like, I weigh myself every day, so that I know that I'm going getting heavier or later. From getting from dieting, I'm getting lighter and lighter and lighter, but I have that awareness by looking at the weighing scales every single day. I weigh myself once a week. I could get sloppy on thursday. Friday, I can hit a pizza. Now on sunday, oh no, the number is up on the weighing scales, but it's like the more acute you are and the more you're actually dialed into that process. That's what it is now. The other side of that, though, is just being able to define what it is you really want. Right. Are the goals that you want your goals? Are they goals that were assigned to you?

Connor : 1:30:30

that's a big one with our background, coming from an education standpoint. When you're in school, I'll never forget it. I had a maths teacher like pulling me out of class fucking a couple of weeks before my leaving start and I was in ordinary level maths like doing grains, all the time busting my ass trying to fucking get through it, because I maths was not my strong point at all, bro, like it was not my strong point, but I was trying, didn't you know? I tried, I definitely tried, and I got through it. I passed my leaving, so I got like a d3 or whatever, but all that I wanted to do was pass every subject my leaving cert and I did it.

Connor : 1:31:03

I was this is an absolute success delighted. But this motherfucker pulled me out of class and he was like if you don't drop down to foundation level, you're're never going to go to college. Just not like. Fuck in hell. Why do I want to go to college? Who said anything about college? Who the fuck are you, bro? Not one person when I was going to school, Even as a scaffolder, bro.

Connor : 1:31:20

I earned way more than you and I had nothing to do with my maths fucking shit or anything that I was doing right. And it's just like there's so much pressure put on kids in school, man, like whatever about in the north america side of things, they get up to their balls and debt with student loans and all that in ireland. I think it's kind of like it's worse because there's more like mental pressure put on and they try to like you know just well, they ask you what job do you want, don't ask you what you want to do, right.

Darren: 1:31:46

So if you ask you what job do you want, they're assuming that they want to put you into a job, which means going to university. The universities are tied to the companies like bear among. When you walk into university, all the banks sponsor you. When you walk in the front door, whether you're in ucc, cit, wherever you are it's bank of ireland they're handing you credit cards, all this kind of shit. Yeah, student loan. And then, when you're in university, they're not asking you what business you want to build or what you want. They're asking what job you want and they're feeding you into these companies.

Darren: 1:32:15

Yeah, it's part of the ladder, it's, it's an ascension model of the system. They put you in school. They put you under all this pressure to get 400 points or 500 points or whatever, which which I did. I was felt. All that pressure got into the university slave my way to university, got into these big companies. These companies are a fucking joke. Like I remember, I was in this large consulting company in dublin and, um, I had basically like for a more better part, like outperformed all the other, like graduates, and I was managing this big project during time, during covid, and the promotions were coming up and my plan was to jump two levels. Like I said to them, like I should jump two levels because of the job that I'm doing, and they said no part of the. The model is that you can only jump one level at a stage. So out of the 180 fucking graduates, 70 of them got the promotion, but not 70 of them worked equally as hard.

Connor : 1:33:05

Yeah, so now I've just massive difference between some of the workload put in and out exactly right, and you don't see this in sport, right?

Darren: 1:33:11

you see, you see the winner and you see the loser. So that was the on that day. That's when I handed him my notice and I was like this is fucking stupid.

Connor : 1:33:18

Basically same day.

Darren: 1:33:19

Yeah, yeah, it was just same day that was it over, uh, moved to a dunder tech company and it was a bit more startupy. So it's a bit different, but then at that same point it's still. It was still the same thing, which is like, if I want the life that I want, I have to go build it. No one's gonna give it to me. Yeah, yeah, you know.

Darren: 1:33:33

And if this is ironic, right, because if you do all those things, you could still be like early 30s and, for the better or worse, broke. Because let's say, you make 100k a year, government's gonna take 40 percent of that in a 60. Your mortgage 1500 a month, that's now, I'd say, 12. You're down to 48. Then you'll have, like the kid, let's take care of that the carol loans. You're down to fucking very little man. Then because of your friends they're all in the golf clubs, you're in the golf clubs and because of the alcohol, you're spending the money on alcohol. You're basically, you're making 100k a year, you're doing a good job and you're basically broke. That's the reality and that's the system that's laid out to you.

Darren: 1:34:15

Part of being an entrepreneur is that you're not going to pay the employees too much so that the business can make more money. It's part of business, right, so they will maximize returns by by reducing the amount of wages as possible. It's part of business, it's a function, not a feature, feature, not a feature, not a bug. And in doing so, that means in theory that you can never make a lot of money as an employee cat, unless you are partner of the partner of the partner of the partner and you've been there 40 years and you got lucky and the business got acquired.

Darren: 1:34:47

You can't, you definitely you can't make. You can't make five million, can't make 5 million. Put it that way, it's not possible. No, and in doing so, if you, so let's reverse engineer this. If the people know people are going to struggle about money, would you not think that the universities and the governments would have taught you how to build a business? Instead, they're not teaching you that. They don't want a bunch of people like me. And you imagine if you had a bunch of people like me?

Connor : 1:35:14

naysayers, yeah like you, literally go like you wouldn't be able to control them.

Darren: 1:35:18

You know, like the fucking like, because I don't, I don't listen to shit like that, right, and like that's the problem. So that's what they're trying to alleviate, right? They want people to say yes, sir, no sir, and um, that is the system, yeah yeah, yeah and most people never realize that.

Connor : 1:35:37

That's the biggest thing because they're so encapsulated in it really isn't it. They're so in it they don't even realize that they're a part of it and then it's an ego thing.

Darren: 1:35:46

Right is the fact that they, if you were to sell, tell someone like that, like you know, you don't have, you've lost your freedom. Because what happens is they take your freedom and they say no, no, no, I have my 10 days off a year and I'm perfectly happy, whatever. So they've changed the framing so that those 10 days are actually your freedom, when it's actually not reality.

Darren: 1:36:05

Freedom has been able to walk around with no shoes on, you know what I mean yeah like you have control over what's happening, um, and like that whole idea of the weekend was introduced and was it the 20s? By Henry Ford or some shit. Yeah, man. Like it's deliberately set up like that so that you don't chase your life's work, which is like running for you.

Connor : 1:36:22

But like there's countries out there that do the four-day week, don't they Four-day work week and all that.

Darren: 1:36:26

Yeah, I admire that People try that.

Connor : 1:36:28

Then of that then I do look at some countries with the education side and like, when they're 17, 18, they don't make them dive into this college thing. They're like go and travel for a year yeah, that's when you're gonna you will learn more traveling than a fucking four-year course will ever teach you 100. And people don't admit that because, again, they're too scared to take the risk or they don't want to go and do it because it seems like this financial burden to go and travel, or whatever.

Darren: 1:36:49

It's bullshit, it's horseshit and uh before we finish up. One thing you find it quite interesting too is, uh, the idea of creativity. So in school people think you think that you're either creative or not. But if you're creative you're gonna have this like bullshit job as an artist or a graphic designer, be broke. That's the mentality, whereas the reality is everybody is creative, but they beat it out of you to be logical, to work within the system.

Darren: 1:37:12

So it's almost like leaning into creativity, because creativity is where all the ideas come from, like someone like linear da vinci would show two different colors of paint against a wall and watch them and then think of different ideas, because it's mutually exclusive. So when you're running and if you're running and let's say you're working in scaffolding, there'll be some sort of neural pathways and connections that you'll think of. That will help you think of something creative in your running. But when you sit there and think how can I run a better ultra or whatever, you can't think of it. So it's almost like we're beaten out of that by getting the job suiting with Netflix and alcohol and stuff like that. But that's where, like a lot of the, the fucking ether comes into your brain.

Darren: 1:37:52

Right, the creativity aspect, which has been huge for me, because I grew up thinking I wasn't creative, which is actually the exact opposite. I'm actually extremely creative, as you are, but you have to like, basically like, let your brain be creative by not looking at your phone when you're at dinner, you know, in the evening when you're, when you're tired, not going on your phone and not suiting with that stuff, and just sitting there and letting the ideas come in, because that's the whole idea. Why you get your best ideas when you're driving or in the shower or when you're running, is because you you have mind active and body active. You can also do mind active and body inactive. It's way more difficult to sit there. Rick rubin would do that.

Connor : 1:38:27

He would sit there for a long period of time and think of a lot of thoughts, whereas it's much easier to be mind active, body active, which is why I run with no music yeah, running with no music, is it I'm a big advocate for when I train, I like sometimes I'll train with music, but racing like, no, no, just no music, because you find out who you really are when there's no music there in the background and just back to what you're saying there as well, with people as well, it's like. You know, it's never too late to reinvent, reinvent yourself. You can reinvent yourself as many times as you want in your life. People are just fixed in one way and I hate to see that. And yeah, it's. Look, we're both. I think we're both. You know we are both going to do great things.

Connor : 1:39:06

Um, with the running, with the endurance, you with your podcast, me with probably some career changes in the next few years, because it's not going to mix well. I don't think, uh, I'm in in my 10 years of construction man already, like, and it's just that with long distance running in the last five years it's taxing on the body. I would rather full send it with running, live a more laid-back lifestyle with again with the coaching, with possibly some podcasting, some other stuff, and just, uh, look after my health and wellness more, really, while being fully all in on the purpose, which for me is distance running. I love distance running. I'm gonna be 29 in a few weeks. The peak age for ultra runners is like 40, I believe, bro. I want that 11 years ahead of me, like I. That's what I dream of. That's what keeps me up at night is thinking about yes, it's been a great five years, but what's ahead? Yeah, what's ahead, and it excites me, it exhilarates my soul and that's why you need like um, you need an out the construction.

Connor : 1:40:03

Yeah, because it's just too toxic in your body.

Darren: 1:40:05

Oh yeah, like to be honest, being here now in bali, like being away from the rat race, I'm that's why bali is like a fucking psyop, right, because it's just like I've just been on a big trip, bro, like you know, my favorite thing about Bali is like it could be like Tuesday at like 11 and you could go into like a papito and you just see like loads of people and you're like where, what do these people do?

Darren: 1:40:23

yeah, what do, they do and they all do different stuff, for sure, but I just think it's like, it's just funny. Like you know, it's like 11 o'clock on a tuesday and like like we're like it's two o'clock on a wednesday. It's my second podcast today, busy day, and like I've been on my laptop for like 30 minutes today, you know. But it's just funny, right, because there's different ways you can go about doing. There's only a handful of ways to go broke. There's a ton of ways to make money. Yeah, yeah, you know, so same shit like what's?

Connor : 1:40:51

when I'm in places like this, again away from the rat race, I have all these revelations and these ideas and the creative side comes out and I'm like, oh my god, like I should be doing this and I need to say it's when I'm away from the scene and I'm grounded and I'm humbled and I'm just living a health and wellness lifestyle. There's been all the ideas just come to life and I'm like, oh man, and like now, for the first time in my life, first time in since for this is my longest time not working and like not having a job, like on paper, lined up officially in my whole life. So I know that the next few months are going to be like life-changing in regards to decisions I make and I am open to it all.

Connor : 1:41:27

Really, I'm not like, I'm not cemented in on anything and keep the pressure low, too on yourself.

Darren: 1:41:32

Yeah, that's a big one.

Connor : 1:41:33

It's just again letting the shoulders drop and just like fear is a mile wide, inch deep right.

Darren: 1:41:39

So, like fear, it's the first step, first step of the ultra signing the marathon, sign up. You know that's what's scary is the first, is the first inch. The rest was not scary, it's just like step, step, step, step, just keep flowing.

Connor : 1:41:54

You know big time I want to say a big thank you this is sick.

Darren: 1:41:58

We're running for like two hours. You probably do another hour or do another coffee, but all day man. So yes, yeah, man, I really appreciate it though, honestly like. Thank you, man uh, you're a savage. There's not many people like I've recorded a lot of podcasts, but there's not many people that like operate at your level and have that like self-awareness to at the same time, which is like it's awesome, man, and like you're super young, it's going to be a no.

Darren: 1:42:21

I appreciate it man I mean a lot of people are going to enjoy this podcast.