Okay okay, I'm thinking and jammed again. It was a huge, just a huge massive poo hot brown. Yeah, it was a giant hot brown. Don't you guys, I do think that we have ruined this podcast for more just on the spot humor. You feel me more jokes smart poop joke or when you're dumping for when I'm dumping for when I'm 30 minutes late to the podcast because I just had a huge dump to take, Caitlin, every time I go to your house, you always have to scream into your window like Romeo. And I say where for hours that always don't. I can't answer you because I'm dumping. So then you know about it, I'm just going to live with things. So and that's what we learned from the month of November. God bless about November the better. Let's just play some d&d. Let's have some delicious fantasy escapism. Welcome to teams and dragons and actual play d&d podcast we're playing fifth edition Dungeons and Dragons. My name is Captain I am your dungeon master. I'm Noel and I play Fran who's a genasi wizard. I'm Caitlin and I play Corbin Who is a human druid. I'm Sofia. I play Leica deep and the reasons of me as laughing is because she made us do a retake so she could do her intro better and that's what she came up with. Okay, so what happened last time you guys escorted the goddess around as she oversaw preparations for the Festival of Lights will Tripoli at the end of the week. You found some suspicious stuff about the lanterns that'll be being sent up but you're not quite sure what was going on with those. And you were just generally annoying little shits to the Goddesses personal attendants Cecilia and Cordelia. And last thing that happened last time is the goddess was being escorted away by her attendance. She signs to you guys that you should go to the library. Right? Right. Right. So what do you guys want to do? What else is in the surrounding area besides the library? Yeah, so the temple library is on one side of the square. There is the Temple Guard Armory and barracks there are the dorms of the attendants. That's where we live No, you actually live next to the Goddesses personal quarters within the main palace in the main temple, but the rest of the attendants like the ones who just sort of do everything else in the temple, like you know, clean up offerings and run gatherings and sweep up garbage and cook dinner that they live in a dorm that is close to the temple. Otherwise, you guys can leave the temple area you can go out into the rest of the city. You can go back to the forest, you can do anything you want. The Goddess did give you instructions to go to the temple library to see if you could find anything more about what the under Temple was used for. But you are by no means bound to do that. I say we plan on going to the library but what's this is the barracks have you say barracks at the barracks close by? Are there any bears with rocks? aren't actually bears don't exist on F stress. So no, no bare rocks, no bare rocks. Just walk by people and see if there's any like cool NPCs we can track to you yeah, you can go check the barracks is everybody agree? It was Yeah, I wanna Yeah, I want to scope out the muscle factor and then I want to scope out the hot factor in the various Okay, I want to talk to someone with a crazy character voice. I hate you. Okay, so you guys go to the temple barracks. The barracks are basically directly opposite of the temple palace. So you walk in and first thing you see is a desk with a gnome man in a wolf mask. sitting there doing paperwork looks great. At around you. There's no guards coming in and out. It looks a little bit like the inside of a police precinct. So there's the reception And then there's some people doing paperwork at desks behind him. So he looks up, and he stands at attention immediately. says, Welcome welcome. You're I didn't know that you're coming by Oh, wow. Oh, God should get to you actually got crumpets. What? What should What am I doing? This is why you're always supposed to be prepared they say you're supposed to be. I lay a gentle hand on his shoulder, and I look him in the eye with a kind expression. And I say, show me the beef cakes. Yeah, the cakes. You say? You do? You want to see the muscley man, I can take you to the training grounds next to Spanx boy. Okay, well, I'm gonna show you guys to the I was requesting that he flex. Okay, well, I'm gonna have you roll to persuade him. Oh, that's a three. No, he's not convinced to flex his text. So I apologize. And I say, can you just tell me about your background? I love this character voice and I just want to hear a little bit more. What about a name? Oh, my name is Anne green. I am the receptionist of the guards and green your admin granulizer Why it was gonna steal a good jokes. Well, I can show you to the training ground if you wish to inspect the quality of the temple God who use now and we Wonderful. Okay, so he escorts you back past the desks through a back door to the training square a fairly sizable courtyard with dummies for practicing against an archery butts to shoot arrows at which yes are true but it's actually what's so significant I wish I didn't have that knowledge but that is knowledge I have so we're gonna use the correct Genji ng Where are you cute little Archie about about it. And yeah, there was guards training there as a group doing archery drills and there's a group doing sword drills there. The recruits the rookies, rookie guides, how old are they? Um, they range between like, probably 16 and 19 Perfect. That's really creepy. Also, trying to be conscientious. I hate on his friend. It's equally creepy giving friends normal voice that's the voice that came. Okay, well, I'm gonna let's see. We're gonna roll for a roll for beefcakes I'm just gonna perfectly how many of these guys are beefcakes Okay, so two of the archers super good looking there is a tiefling Archer and he is a he takes his wolf helmet off and his long black hair glistens in the sun and he tosses and about and then he hands his his bow to the next person after he has just landed a bull's eye. And then the other one in that group he hands it to is a half orc woman who has some really really okay and I will not reveal the results so there's the other one is an orc woman with piercing blue eyes and sort of grayish skin who looks like she could rip a table in half and the gnome whose name I've already forgotten he says up those are all stop pupils the scented Johanna and Zara of all events they will be excellent additions to the God we we considered auditioning them for the pile is gone but now Yep, too young. So I woke up to that and I'm like actually really cool. And I'm just like holding my sword and I'm like, like looking at it and I kind of like do like a cool cool like sword move Rolodex. So that's a fine yeah. So you attempt to do a cool sword move and then you just like drop your sword at her feet. And she like she looks down at it picks it up. And oh, yeah. And she just like spear throws it at the archery thought and it just sticks right in it. It's not a bullseye, but it's it wow, I want a charmer but I have no I can't do this in real life. So I'll just roll and I'm gonna give you a disadvantage. So 50 Okay, so 5050 And you give her a sort of up down, give her Hey, like your moves. I like you. So she looks at you, your personal garland goddess, aren't you? Oh, yeah, I guess you should give me a tour of the palace some time. I'm not allowed in there yet, but I'm so sure like, guys, I'll see you. Okay, just hold up, hold up, hold up. It'll be fine. Just you wait on this too later. So I gave her a wink. And I'm like, I'll see you later and I walk really cool your way. Meanwhile, I use minor illusion to put a picture of myself on vicinities artery but yeah, your face. Yeah, it's fine. See, he actually handed the boat to to Zara. So he's just kind of confused. And then remove that minor illusion. I make another minor illusion on Zara. That looks like me. Me. Every one tactic, everyone is baffled. No one understands why you're doing. I shoot your guns at the end. And I say what do you think? He does not know how to react to that situation. He walks away. I hit my palm with my other fist. And I say nailed it. All right, well, that's all the beefcakes in the Training Yard. So Corbin really wanted to see these beefcakes and he's extremely enamored but upon seeing them he is so overwhelmed by what he's seen. He just He stands at the precipice of the area and and very nervously worries his hands and does not approach okay so and especially especially after seeing friends horrible illusions when picked picture of myself on so what's the tiefling guy do he just walked away? He's gone. You guys scared them all. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. No. Oh, he liked it. Okay, do you guys have anything else you want to do here besides make the trainees uncomfortable? So is there any other place in the the bear racks? Honestly, not really. There's you know, sleeping quarters and stuff, but there's nothing that you guys really said like watch people Cooper take naps in the middle of the day. You could do that. There are definitely people sleeping there right now. People who work in hate the way No, I just looked at me. Horrifying. Okay. You're creepy. Let's go to the library. All right, so you guys leave your enthusiastic gnome guide behind. Oh, he can come with? No, he's the receptionist at the guards desk. He's not going to go with you to the library and grant is subtracted from my face. Okay, so the library is on the other side of the Temple Square. Okay, I asked you a little bibliotech donde esta la biblioteca. So the temple library is an 11 storey tower of completely smooth white stone there is a double door entrance at the bottom. And along one side there are blue glass windows that go all the way up the top is kind of like a ladle shape. You can't see it from the ground, but there is a courtyard at the top and a beautiful rooftop garden up there. It's famous throughout the city as just being pretty much the most relaxing the most serene place in all of Astra. So as you guys enter the library, you can see all the way to the top to a skylight that leads up to that rooftop garden. Sophie's probably the only one who would get this but it looks a little bit like the Guggenheim. I sent to the Guggenheim. Yeah, I was 10 years old. Okay, yeah, so it looks like the Guggenheim. Wait, is this not it? I don't remember what the Guggenheim is that building that Will Smith runs down at the very beginning of the first men and black movie. I have to look it up now. Can you can you say Guggenheim one more time Guggenheim. Oh, excuse you. Okay, so it is that building from the beginning of men and black building from the beginning of medicine, you know, so each floor is ringed by bookshelves which are just crammed full of tomes and scrolls and anything you can think of any sort of knowledge that you would want is here because every copy of every book that's ever been produced in Astra is housed here. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. I'm ready to live here. Yeah. So there are attendants wandering through the library. These attendants are specifically the librarians. This is what they do. They keep This massive resource meticulously organized, and following them around are wisps, which provide light over their shoulders. Some places of the library can be, you know, a little bit dark, there's not a lot of windows. So there's a front desk located on the first floor and a veiled attendant from the deer plant who is working on some reference materials. But he does want to do I shed a single tear of joy, because this is my shit. You do have a skill, don't you? That is, yeah, yeah, I am a researcher. So if I don't know what the information is, I know where to find it. Yeah, ugly. Okay. So you know, to go talk to this person to say, to look for this, which I say, um, uh, you guys, I don't know if somebody who wasn't a professional would know this, but that's the receptionist. Wow, I make a noise and you can't tell if it's a scarf. A snort a burp or fart? You don't know what it is? I think Guggenheim. And actually genuinely probably don't know how to talk to the receptionist. I really wouldn't know. I don't even know. What's a receptionist? What is that? Would career position? easily walk away? Okay, I answer. She looks welcome. She would be Premier Home of all of the texts and Astra. What can I help you find today? Do you have like a floor map of this library? Behind you? I say, Where's the secret section? I also come up behind and I say what's the reception? Well, I will answer your questions in order. Okay. So we do have a floor Methodists located directly behind me. Each section is marked in color coded. Ask if you need directions, there is no secret area of the library. The small secret texts are kept in the temple palace. A receptionist is somebody who is here to be helpful and give you directions and you certainly done that today. What's your name? My name is Lu L. You knew they didn't do it friends loving she's good. Are you sure there's no secrets here? I promise you there is nothing secret in this library. Exactly what someone with a secret would say. Anything I can help you with today. Just you can just have a super day, Lou. Well, thanks. You too. What? Like Lyle. I can't remember what you're trying to look for. And looking at the map, you can see there is a section on architectural history. There is a section on my temple myths. They're pretty close, because that's kind of the same area. Okay, so let's go to that area. Okay. You want to roll and see see if you guys can find some books you were investigating. All right, I got a nine. I got 1115 Okay. So Fran, unsurprisingly, in the architectural history section, you are able to find history of all of the modifications that have been made to the temple. That's like the architectural blueprints okay. And looking at this, you can see the first drawings of the city temple which was constructed well after extra was established. So and also looking at these you can see that originally there were prison cells under the main temple palace. However, in later revisions, those cells and those prisons were moved underneath the guard barracks, um, doesn't say like, how big of cells they are, are they for like humanoid? Yeah, it looks like they were just normal prison cells. Okay. And there were about 20 of them under the temple. And there are currently about 50 under the guard barracks. He doesn't say anything about what they were used for. No, but you do know while you notice when you're looking at the organizational system. It seems like there's a book missing. Do we have like a reference number, the one on its left is 11 100.6. And the one on the right is 11 100.8. Full, so it's 11 100.7. That's missing. Okay. So then next we check out the mythology section. In the mythology section, you find a lot of things about the old gods about the hierarchy of the forces in the gods, you find one record that is particularly interesting, and it is a list of attempts by the gods torva torba, has attempted to bring down as Stratton Many, many times. So in the hierarchy of the pantheon of the Old Gods, there were the forces and the forces represent the general sort of concepts of a world. There's a fan of the force of life there's i o the force of death. And so torva is a child of the force rail who is the force of war. rail has the most Gods under him. So there is Velious the sword Fionna the shield pole with the axe we are the archer Mina teen the spear, desert, the flame brass car, the rage VOD. Just say NASCAR, the rage. podcast is sponsored by NASCAR sponsored by crass car, god of rage. There's also the Oni, the scavenger and torva is the Conqueror and he is largely regarded as the instigator of the great calamity which destroyed the world below. The Yoni is the closest God to torba, much of her power was gained by feeding off of the battles that torva instigated the others, the rest car, and deserts are also major players in all of the schemes of torva and the downfall of the world below. After the world below was destroyed, and Astra was raised. torva approached the goddess to try and gain a foothold in the city. And she cut off his head. So he has since attempted to invade the city dozens of times. And what you do find is that the cells underneath the temple were destroyed during an escape attempt by converts of torva. They pulled down the walls and buried themselves alive inside the prison. But people think he's dead then, right? No, this killed him, her cutting off his head, didn't actually kill him. Gods can't be killed. They can only be banished. This is like an Osiris ancient Egyptian type deal. Yeah. And the thing is, while no one worships the old gods and apstra, it is an undisputed fact that they existed just without any worship within the city, they are unable to enter it. And a large part of that is because of the way that Goddess has set up the protections on the island. So it's been a very long time since any footholds of torva, or any of the other old gods have been established in the city. The last Yeah, the last record of a major conversion was the one that ended in the converts burying themselves alive in the prison. Oh, and then also in that book, you find that the under Temple was discovered, while clearing the rubble of the botched prison escape. Oh, it was discovered. Yes, it turns out that the the under Temple is a large, naturally formed cave, which seems to have been part of the great forest and was pulled up with the rest of the island. It was converted to imprison a child of rail in the year 1032. Wow. Yeah. So that's what you guys are able to find in the library. We don't find who was in prison. No, you aren't able to figure out who's in prison. Can we check these books out? Yes, you can go. There's a self checkout. Go ahead of that. Leila. All right. Well, we go back down. We shoot out a desk. Yes, she sold her desk. Louella is still at her desk. Lee. Wow, you look so beautiful, even more beautiful than I saw you and I saw you like an hour ago. How can I help you? We noticed that there was a book missing from the section we were looking at. And we were wondering if you know who has it or where it is? Do you have the reference number of the book you're looking for sure do. It's 11 100.7. Okay. And she waves a hand and summons a whisper to her. And the Whisper sort of hovers around her for a second and then whizzes off. It comes back a minute later. And she sort of looks at it for a second and seems to be having some sort of silent communication with it. She says, It looks like the book under that heading was destroyed in an accident not too long ago. All right. We do. We do still have the ruined book but it's completely illegible at this point. We'll take it okay. Also we check these out. That magic is endangering your job. All right. So check out your books and she goes and get to the ruined book. Okay, it looks like wine has been spilled all over it and she's completely soaked and I mean, it looks like I say like wine was spilled on it. It looks like it was sort of like someone just literally took a glass of wine and just poured it over the entire book. Like it doesn't look like a natural spill. Right? So it's like Sony like dunked it in like yeah, like with wine. Yeah. And the same is when they when they stomp on those grapes to make wine like somebody dunked it in one of those somebody stabbed on it. Yeah, that's something that only happens in the square. I'm sure that does. Okay, look, they Sims get in there. They take off their shoes and their socks and they stomp around with their nasty dirty feet in these like barrels of grapes. That's the thing that can not be how it happens in real life. Right? Well. It's your wine. It is am just real shaken up by is that I want to ask the receptionist, I say clue. Well, you look like a luau. Oh, holy. Well, you just You're wonderful. You're so helpful. I just want to know, do you know anyone in the city who could help us repair this book? Is there any sort of scribe dude, he's got his fingers all up in this mess? Well, you could talk to the restorationists. We do contract them. There's a really good company that is just outside of the temple compound. I can write down their address for you guys. Oh, thank you. Yep. Is that everything? Are you leaving yet? It will question. Do you have a sleepover in the library? Yes, we do. But it's only for US citizens 10 years and younger. I could do that. You start with respectfully you definitely can't I open up my spell book and I pointed this guy sounds and then I point out Lu L and I just let her know that any of those games can be and then we leave. Okay, so you guys gonna go to the restorationist? Or Yeah. Okay, so the restorationist is outside of the temple compound. In the bottom floor of one of the many tall buildings. It is a tiny little workshop. You can see lots of different books, you know, in different piles in different states of restoration. Many of them are sealed within magical bubbles to keep them from being further damaged. Yeah, yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And a halfling woman is hard at work behind one of the desks she's almost invisible behind the huge stacks of books and she's not your you come in Yeah, still throw we're gonna sneak up on it. I got 19 Okay, she Yeah, you guys sneak up on her. You scare the bejesus out of her. Yeah, I have a scream and throws her pen at you I'm so sorry. I did not hear you guys come in. What can I do for you today? Do you have I'm really have a huge backlog. But I guess I can still be taking new orders. We got this book that we need fixed up. Can you help us out? Also, what's your name? Oh, well, my name is Haven. Well, I mean, I I can take the book but I like I said we've got a huge backlog of orders. And I'm not really the boss here. I'm just his citizens for the Goddess. I mean, so is everything else. These are all books from the temple library. No, this is directly from the goddess directly from the goddess directly from do this. You're committing Is this okay, okay, okay. Um, I guess I can take a look at it now. And she she clears off some space on her desk and that's it. You know, put down your put down your book, but she's got it. I put it I sit down on wishing. I tried to put it down and put it down and in like, I sit down on top of the book on top of it. I'm not really sure what you guys want me to do you hear? Oh, excuse me. I get so she takes a look at the phone. This is really bad. What happened? To this, we would just love to know that we think it looks like in The Sims when and they're stopping and you get the idea. Well, yeah, it looks like someone poured a lot of wine on this. Like what I said, Well, let me see what I can do. So she takes the book and takes some stones and some scrolls and arranges them around the book and I'm gonna see if you can restore it. Boy, oh, no, she does not, does not. So She arranges the stones and the scrolls and she a light blue smoke rises from them. It settles into the book, and the book just turns bright blue light, just solidly bright blue all the way through. This isn't really a problem. This is also like, making magic when they try to cast the spell, but they do it wrong. Exactly what actually just happened. Caitlin, how much Sims Have you played lots? The sevens isn't real, right? Anyway, so even she she looks like she's about to cry. Like, I'm so sorry. I told you. I'm not because I really am. I also start crying if you're crying in front of me. I'll cry too. So I you know, I go for it. I also get in on the house. So do I all right. We all cry. We're all just crying. Crying. I'm shaping water all the water away from I'm really all right. No, I can do you do you think that your mentor could fix it? He's he's here newsy. Console. Yeah. Let's all roll the console. I got a 16 I don't know what I got. I got 11. Okay, well, you guys are able to console master ice digger is he should be here. By this evening. He's up. He's working on some special orders for the library. But if he wants to come back tomorrow, he might have been able to do something. Please. So The Goddess us take a long bath tonight. We'll be back tomorrow. You take it easy, my friend. Okay. Okay, so what else do you guys want to do? Can we like go talk to the attendants? Sure. Yeah. Do you want to talk to like the Goddesses personal attendants the ones that you've spoken with before? Or do you guys want to talk to just like, and the first attendant you come across I would say Crow and Wolf attendant just because I don't think we'll get Yeah, unless we have like magic picks on people who know something, but are too stupid to keep it hidden from Okay, is there like an alcohol we can get to like, yeah, oh, yeah, there's wine. Can we come in when toxic eat some people? Sure. But it is at this point. It's like mid afternoon. And temple attendants would not drink while they're on the job. They take their jobs very seriously. So if you want to do that, you'd want to wait till the so what if we made some really strong jello shots that were super sweet. And we were just like, we got these jello cups for you guys. Y'all are what if we said we're gonna throw a party tonight. Y'all want to come that would score Delia, Delia to Cecilia. Let's Let's be like, Let's do like we want to do like a thank you to all the attendance from the Guardians come to our party, where we will be serving extremely alcoholic beverages. So and I mean, actually, it's not a bad idea, because you guys are new here and you're going to be here for as long as the goddess is I personally said like a handwritten invitation to Zara is it is it legible at all? It's got like a lot of hearts on it and like probably like some anime drawings of like wolves because I'm a teenager so I so I'm going to use my spouse silent image to make a huge banner in the sky in the middle of the square, inviting people and it's shining and it's flashing lights. And it says party in Corbin zoom. You If you can invite the tiefling guy who centi Oh, he'll come I put a picture of myself where like you'll run the other way. That's rude and patently untrue. All right, so what do you guys do to prepare for this party? Do you get refreshments do you get? Yeah, I go out and I get the strongest booze made by the wildest Sims. So while you guys are preparing for this wild raging party in Corbin this room with I'm gonna remind you guys it's like awesome be in the hallway. Yeah. All of our rooms. Yeah, let me Yeah, seems Yeah, like Wolf Crow, deer. And then they all intersect like drinks that are specifically for each one to like, this is like what will piss tastes like and do your pin states like and this is what Croesus? Yeah. Oh, I just wanna say I also want to get the hottest bars in town because I want to be playing like very, very sick to Yeah, okay. So while you guys are you guys are preparing for the party and you go back to carbons room and your rooms to start setting up. And sort of squaring off in the hallway is one of the Dieter Vale, the tendons and Jinji Oh, and Gingy is standing outside of your room and she is she is growling. At this attendance. I just walk up and I'm like, What's going on the world around her he'll take your beast under control. Watch your tone lady. This is my best friend and I don't let anyone talk to my friends that way. I'm not talking to your friend. I'm talking to you. This beast is your responsibility. Her name is Gingy. And whatever you did to upset her is your fault. I was just attempting to find you. As you all are expected at fittings for your ceremonial armor. dingy, what happened? This lady was trying to get into your room. And I told her that she's not allowed to but she can't understand me. And so we've been squaring off like this because I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to bite her. Is that right? Can I buy it? Or can I buy it or please can I please buy it are typically not right now. But maybe later. I seven friends between the two of them. So I'm blocking Gingy and I just say stay out of my room. It's not your view. It is not your place to speak to me like this. You are. She takes a deep breath. Studies yourself. You are expected for your fittings, please follow me. And she turns on her heel and just starts walking expecting that you guys are following her. No, I have to calm Gingy down. I whisper to you after she walks away that she's not invited to the party tonight. I add that to the banner. Show so you guys don't follow her. Yeah, like that. So she stops the end of the host please follow me we have updates on the shades Hello, and I hope you're enjoying the episode. It's been a while and I usually play Fran right now. I'm playing basketball vigorously while I record this, as you can tell from my youthful and healthful state of voice. That's right. I have a cold. It's making me feel sick. But now let's check in with some people who aren't making me feel sick. Thanks so much to cause me We're from the UK for the iTunes review. That was so nice of you to say that listening to our podcast leaves you feeling like you were hanging out with friends. That's that's ideal. Please, all of you come into my home, step into my bedroom. Let's hang out. Let's have some chips. Let's just Let's just really get into our deep emotional problems and sort them all out in the course of one day. That's what I do with my friends at this is not the point. Thank you so much guys for humor. Also, I want to point out another part of your comment that you said that you occasionally get us confused. This is the highest compliment we've ever been paid. We, as a friend group all tend towards mimicry. And so when we're together we all mimic the crap out of each other and we become one for harmless human blob. It's horrifying. Our own parents can't tell the differences between our voices. And that is true. So that word occasionally just lit up our lives. We hope that as time goes on, the differences between our voices become a little bit more clear. We'll try to not imitate each other, but by God, it comes naturally. Also, I just want to take a little moment to say, if you aren't in a country other than the US and you leave us an iTunes review, we actually won't be able to see it. Unless we like specifically happened to look it up. So if you want us to see it, send us a message on Facebook or on Tumblr, because we would love to see your feedback. But iTunes is country locked. I don't know why they do that crap. I also want to have a shout out today to friends of the podcast at watcher cast. They are an unofficial Buffy podcast so you can tune into that to experience to awesome college ladies discussing the themes and ideas and jokes and other revelry about television classic Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They currently have a promo app which sounds very funny and they will be posting episodes starting on March 1, so be sure to subscribe and check them out. As for ways to check us out. Today I'm going to talk a little bit about SoundCloud and by a little bit I really mean a little bit. So basically we have SoundCloud that is where our audio is hosted. So if you want to subscribe on SoundCloud you are welcome to Weird names and dragons on SoundCloud as you you know may be shocked to hear. I also have a SoundCloud that has the soundtrack on it. And I'm Noel Sheree on SoundCloud. That's n o el Shiri. So if you want to hear that music, and just really revel in all of the incredible rhythm and timing talents that I definitely have. Go ahead and check that out. So yeah, last of all, I just want to remind you to check out our website at games and dragons.com Check out our Tumblr or Twitter or Facebook or Patreon. We're looking forward to talking to you and make sure to tell your friends and if you post about our podcasts publicly, somewhere make sure that you send us a message so we know about it. Because we'd love to give you a shout out on the podcast or possibly even in the episode. But that won't be happening until Ark too. But get ready for it. Get ready for oh, don't body. Don't let go. Because if your body falls off, you won't be able to listen to our podcast. And now for a message to Chantal. Listen, Chantel, do you remember that time that Sophia decided to call you shantytown as your nickname and you hated it? And we also call you that? And now her updated nickname is chanterelle isn't the cute little mushroom. Oh, cute. She does she like that. Yeah, okay. He just wants us to call her name. Right? Well, all right, Chantal. The code word is chanterelle for sleep raging does active go. So Cordelia takes you guys to a mirrored room where there is a gnome woman who is she's dressed all in white, but she's not an attendant. She says, Oh, you're here for your fittings. Oh, I'll take you all just one at a time. Um, who wants to first make clothes fit me just fine. And I like touch my boob window after I say that? Why? I'm just honestly, we're just not gonna go through this. You guys get some new armor. You get ceremonial white armor. I will be chiseling out a blue window. It already had a boob primer good. We're good. Yeah, but it's white and gold. And it's beautiful. It's like way nicer than anything you guys have. But it doesn't actually affect your armor class at all. It's just to make you guys look pretty. So while you guys are getting fitted, pretty sad. We've done a thorough investigation of the remains of the shades and we've confirmed that they came from the world below, the remnants were examined, and by scholars at the library and from the college, we're pretty sure that because they seek purity and goodness, they came to the Goddess to try and drain her life force. There's nothing else for them on the world below. So that's really all that makes sense. So I just wanted to make sure you guys were updated on that so that you know that there's really no reason to continue. Whatever you guys are doing. They were summoned to though so whoever, even if they came from the world below, I'm pretty sure like, any just get up here on their own. Right. Actually, that's a very astute observation to hear point of inspiration. Yeah, you can. Yeah, because nothing, nothing can enter Astro without being summons there, too. So I'm actually I'm going to clarify this for our listeners. In fifth edition d&d, there is a function called inspiration in which I can grant a point of inspiration to player if they make an astute observation, or they do something particularly clever, basically, anything that I feel like they've earned it through character building, world building, and just paying attention to what I've told them. A point of inspiration means that at any time, they can expand to that point, to gain advantage on a roll. And in the fifth edition rulebook, it says that it's one of those things where it's either you have inspiration or you don't, it doesn't stack. But I am going to ignore that. And if I want to stack inspiration, I will do that, because I think it's kind of stupid. That like, you would only get one point. Yeah. So Sophia, you get a point of inspiration. You can use that whatever you want. Um, so my question to you guys is, do we want to let her know that we know that, or should we just be like, oh, yeah, I feel like we should be making sure to play along. Yeah, I think we should be suspicious of it. But I think we shouldn't let them know that we're, yes. So just be like, sounds normal. Go Yeah, I say sounds normal. Sue's new. sounds normal. Rate. Well, the Goddess will be sequestered in prayer for the remainder of the week leading up to the festival of lights. I ask that you don't cause a lot of noise or ruckus. In the quarter living quarters of the temple. I did see the banner in the square. there if you're not invited. You're going to have to have your party elsewhere. You can't be disturbing the goddess with revelry when she is the goddess is invited. She is sequestered in prayer for the remainder of the week. This kind of worship is that dogs or cats? No, you're wrong that anyway, the banners are kind of already out. So there's really nothing we can do at this point. persuade her. Sure. All right, let's all try 17 1417 Well, yeah, you're she's persuaded she only got four. So just try and keep it down. I immediately go out and I buy some subwoofers for the party. Magical subwoofers Yeah, no dogs. Yeah, they're actually they are large. I said large probably about like three foot tall statues of dogs with open mouths. They spell amplify cast on them. Yes. I'm gonna have you guys all roll party checks. Let's see. See how good your combined score is. For party. This is just like when you throw a party in The Sims you guys Calum okay. I only got a 917 Are we adding anything to this? No, I'm just seeing what your combined party score is and to figure out how epic your rager is. Yeah, so like, and Fran you guys you guys know what to do you guys this is in character for me though. Yeah, you guys you put up some cool decorations you put out some tables you get some some snacks some good like chips and Chip bowls that all match and are pretty cool. Look, I turned on that strobe shirt. Yeah, get your structure on and up Corbin you just kind of walk in with like a bunch of bottles of booze in this drop off on your bed and go done good. Or bad band who's went out and got the best band so like you are able to get follow up boy. And they're one of the hardest Bard acts. Right now. I love Fowler. Boy. There's only one thing that I know about from like inner city living. There's only one pop culture thing that I know about and it is PowerPoint. Yeah, so it is them for young half work dudes. There is Patrick make their hands stops Peter from whence they came. The other band members, drummer and guitarist. Okay, so everyone shows up Zara shows up over 70 shows up. Haven shows up from from the restoration shop. mu l shows up. Thanks guys. Yeah, he columns, a bunch of like, you know just bunch of random guards and attendants who are all letting their hair down and having a good time. Grab your snacks or a hit. I'm styled my water here into Marge Simpson style. Nice nice. People are people are super into fall or Koi. They are jam and out. So what do you guys want to do at your party? We want to find the oldest person here give them lots of drinks. Yeah, okay. So the oldest person at the party, okay. You're guessing that probably the oldest person or people at the party are the ones who are out since elves have the longest lifespan. And there is a guard who she has a crow mask on top of her head. There is a library attended. And there is a temple attendant who has her pro veil so tossed over her head like it's not covering her face right now. Because she's smashed as hell and her name is Alia. I say we start with Alia. Oh, yeah, definitely agreed. Okay. Oh, this party. You guys are like the best guardians that have ever been. You're so good. You're so good. And she's she. Friends. She's like touching your face as she's saying that she just kind of keeps putting your hand like directly on the center of your face. All right, I cast the sky south to look like a cop. And I say what do you know about other guardians before us? Oh my god, the other guardians tower. They're so not persona cool. Like you guys are I give her a drink of water. She takes the water just like she has her mouth and sort of keeps like spilling out of her mouth. I say here's the good stuff, honey, and it's just straight up vodka. Okay. She downs there's no vodka like a pro. Yeah, she just takes it down to one because that's my favorite. You're my favorite. You're so beautiful. And she. She like puts her hand on your boob. And you're so young. So beautiful. Who are you? I hand her a full bag of chips. I just kind of put it between her and Corbin. Oh, yeah, she starts eating the chips. She's super into the chips. Now again as those chips the answer for you guys. Like you guys knew that right? There. Cool. But like we didn't really know. I'm only here for like, wildly sad stuff. Happy things. Have you guys seen a jog before? I could get Gingy in here. I call Gingy over. She starts crying. She's like hugging Gingy and petting Gingy and just so good. She is good. But her life is in danger because we need information. You didn't tell us the things that we ask you this dog. I'll tell you what do you want? What do you want? Do you want jgc good. You knew I know that. Cordelia is her face is stupid. That's no secret. Like no one's ever never like seen it. But I know that it's so stupid. Like she never takes out that veil and it's because she faces a stupid faces ever faced. Interesting. What do you know about Cordelia and Cecilia? Like they seem kind of rude. schach betcha. Like they weren't even supposed to be goddesses personal attendance like that was supposed to be me and Becky. But like you and Becky is much more fit for the job. Like we've been Kerala for so long. It was supposed to your turn but then like I don't even know Celia is just such a manipulative batch and and Cordelia is just like came out of nowhere like Who even knows who she is? You now know Lea come from a Cecilia has been here for like four hours. She's like trained, trained yon for us and then came here and was just like a massive bitch to everybody. What do you know about the under temple the tempo that like oh my god, no one even goes down there it's so creepy. Have you guys is super fun if you go down there and and and you tell go straight? Because there's been some scary things down there. Oh my god. Oh my god. So I'm not supposed to tell anybody this Don't tell Don't Don't tell me I told you this. I never will. Oh my god, do it do it for Gingy Nasik scariest thing is because like, like 1000 years ago like I was just a kid. But like there was this really creepy shapeshifting monster that they kept down there. And you know that that was the only place that could be kept? Because it was oh, what's her name? What's her name? What's her name? It was VOD. Yeah. Z ONi is a vessel. And I got some in here. But then we only got banished and so it just like Wi Fi and crazy. So they had to change it up in the undertown pool. And like you went down there those days, and like that you didn't have a telegraph strike, because it was a fucking ghost story. It was like the scariest thing in the world because it's just fucking crazy. You know? When a vessel gets abandoned by its host, it goes fucking nuts. Do you know that? I did not know that. And I am so happy to be talking to you right now. Yeah, but it's dead though. So don't worry about is dead. And you know it's dead. Because if I can throw itself off the edge of the island. Ah, that sounds normal. I say. Because you know what happens? Because these vessels they get imbued with the godly powers. But then without a god's brain in them. They just can't handle it. So they just go fucking nuts and they just destroy everything and then themselves. So it was normal. It was totally fine. Sounds quite normal. That sounds normal. is totally normal. is super fat. Can I keep this dog? I'm gonna be sick. She's, she runs off to be sick. I like call it one of her friends. And I say like, Hey, she looks pretty rough shape. You should you should check on her. Make sure she gets out. Okay, cuz that's what you do. Yeah, that's good party at a kid. But you do. Okay, do you guys want to talk to anyone else want to try and seduce your love interest? Yeah, did did Yes. So today is love interest. Yeah, this gente showed up and Zara showed up. They're both chillin. They're watching follow up boy. Gente is super into it. By the way. He is like, he is like his favorite band and he is wearing his follower boy t shirt. I want to try and help free. Before you can help me I cast minor illusion to put my face on. Efficiency is infused into it. And then I like walk up next to him. And I'm like, so what do you think? Who were you when he was able to get full word for here? Yeah, she was. Yeah, that was me. How the hell did you do that? I was trying to get tickets for the show. In the Grand Arena. As it's like sold out for months. Yeah, well, I'm very charming. To see you could introduce me. Patrick makes their arm stomps is my hero. While he's talking I just like shrink away into the crowd because I got nervous. Okay, all right. Go. Can I go talk to Zara. Yeah. So I like I walk up with a drink in my hand and then I want to do like a cool bath. clip and then like the drink is still in it okay well yeah oh we can't do this real hard Oh where are you not 20 doing cool drink yeah so you do that you do a backflip for no apparent reason you do a backup and you toss the drinks in the air and like the the liquids change cups you catch the cups and then the liquids like fall into them and then you handle on tour so she's she's impressed she gives you like your stuff solemn nod and like hey do you like to dance stuff? Sometimes? No meanie so yeah is she get a just kind of taciturn oh cool going about as well as it would have gone in real life. I watch all of this from afar and think in my brain and this is why I never even try. Right so you guys throw the most epic party the temple has ever good job. Everyone. The next morning is super hungover. Separate, because we didn't drink good job kids. Don't drink Uber so you guys wake up the next morning to a huge mess and a sending of a songbird and it tells you in a voice that sounds you've never heard it before but it sounds familiar. It says they're not letting me leave you need to keep looking there's something here they don't want us to know. Know ryos the force of war yeah out of Yeah. So he's kind of like the dad The dad of the torva and I use the word dad very loosely because he's not actually you know, he didn't do anything other than sort of create them from the ether so oh no, no, no, my Dad Did you mean to hey, you know brown fully formed from his forehead. Gross. Don't we all don't we all come to Washington? Yeah, he needs to get checked out. Again big pimple and it was me that popped right out of course. Of course you why they named me Noel short for no pimp. decided to take out the word Panther this controversial. Yeah, okay. All right. Hey,