Ep 24. What is a Mom Coach?

I get this question a lot.  So, what is a mom coach?  What exactly do you do?  Is it like therapy or what?  This is a great question that I’m going to answer fully today.
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Transcript

Hi moms!  Thank you for joining me today.  We are going to talk about life coaching and mom coaching and what the heck all of that even means.  

I get this question a lot.  So, what is a mom coach?  What exactly do you do?  Is it like therapy or what?  This is a great question that I’m going to answer fully today.

Although life coaches have been around for a while, they’ve only just really started to become more regular in people’s lives in the last 5 years or so.  People are really starting to discover this blossoming and growing industry and the powerful change that comes from working with a life coach.  Basically, a life coach is a type of wellness professional who helps people make progress in their lives in order to attain greater fulfillment. Life coaches can help you clarify your goals, find your life’s purpose, find better balance with all that you have going on, help you improve your health, or even lose weight, transition to a new career, or identify the obstacles that might be holding you back, like limiting beliefs or fears and blocks you might have that are causing you to not get everything out of life that you deserve. 

And then your life coach, as your partner, can help you come up with strategies for overcoming each obstacle, and figuring out what it is you really want. Your life coach can inspire you to maximize your potential, and as a mom life coach I get to help mother’s not only aspire to what they want to become, but also what they want their children and their family as a whole to become.  

Some people like to think of their life coach as their personal trainer for their mind and they feel that the investment in their coach is just as important as their gym membership.  And that’s how I feel because I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today without all of my coaches along the way.  And I still work with a few coaches right now.  I’m just starting to work with a mindset coach, because let me tell you, this building a business thing is so unbelievably challenging.  I thought I was mentally strong to begin with, but there’s something about building a business that can tear you down mentally in ways that I never knew were possible.  And I am also currently looking into working with a health and weight loss coach because the Covid weight gain isn’t falling off like I had hoped.  Darn middle age.  

It’s so very important to me to invest that money, time, and energy into myself.  Life is tough and so full of obstacles, I notice a huge change in myself, my happiness level, and my ability to move forward and reach my goals when I have steady coaching sessions.  

And honestly, my family deserves this investment in myself, too.  My family deserves a mom who is plugged in to their world and a strong steady warmth for them; their safe haven in this crazy world.  And with all that we moms have going on, that is not easy to stay steady and strong and in the moment for our children.  But since I’ve discovered coaching, I show up for my family differently now.  I’m happier, way happier, and I can handle life better and roll with its punches easier because I’m taking the time to consistently get my head on straight, to figure out my emotions, to accept myself for who I am which then translates into loving myself.  And you know what?  When you really start to accept everything about yourself, like everything, and truly love yourself for your strengths and your weakness, the happiness naturally follows and you just start to show up differently, for your kids, for your spouse, for your friends, and even for the world around you.  It’s amazing.

Coaching is different from therapy.  We life coaches are not trained psychologists; well I know some who are both.  (And just a side note-- life coaching is not a regulated industry… yet at least.  I think it will become regulated but it’s just not yet.  So that means anyone can call themselves a life coach even if they’ve had no training. So you want to be sure they are a Certified Life Coach, if possible.)

Anyway, so psychologists are specifically trained to provide treatment and rehabilitation. We are all a type of mental health professionals, but we treat different things.  

True master’s degree and doctorate degree psychologists are so very helpful for many things.  I’ve been through quite a bit of therapy in my life—when my parents got divorced it really messed me up pretty good for a while and I finally got smart and got help through it.  I also went through tons of marriage counseling off and on for 16 years, in my first marriage, and I also saw a family therapist when I went through my divorce as I navigated this new scary world of being a single mom and all that comes with getting my children through it.  

And I am a huge fan of therapy.  But I have learned over the past few years, that therapy is best when we aren’t functioning properly in life.  Like if we are not sleeping, or eating, if we are depressed and just can’t function well in everyday life.  They are definitely needed when dealing with addictions.  Those are signs that a therapist is what you need.  

Therapists are trained to help us heal our deep, emotional issues that usually arise from our past.  That’s they the joke is that as soon as we sit down with a therapist they say, “Tell me all about your childhood,” because there is so much to be discovered by going way back to the past.  And they are brilliant at helping uncover traumas that we may not even know existed.  They can help us pinpoint those issues, help us heal, and get us to a place where we are functioning well.  

I had a friend who was severely neglected as a child, but she loved her parents so much, she never wanted to admit this to herself or spend any time talking or thinking about it.  When other problems arose in her present day life--in her marriage and with her children and how she was functioning as a mom--she decided to go to a therapist, which was the right move for her.  A life coach couldn’t have helped her in this area.  She discovered that this neglectful childhood she endured created so much trauma for her that until that trauma from her childhood was healed completely, nothing else could be addressed.  And once she spent a lot of time and hard work healing from that, and it really was such hard work, she started to see the other parts of her life fall into place.  

Therapy delves into the past and helps us look backwards and see what we find there.

I think with what I know now, I didn’t really need a therapist all those other times, well actually maybe I did with my parents’ divorce, that really mess me up, and I think it did come with some past trauma for sure.  Okay, and maybe with my 1st marriage I needed a licensed therapist, too. When it came to rebuilding my life after my divorce, that was probably what I’m talking about when I needed to work with a coach, to rebuild my life and find my purpose and direction.  I loved the marriage counselor that I was working with, but I didn’t really need to return to my past too much at that point.  I was really ready to move forward, and I needed some real tools and empowerment and accountability to get myself and my family where I wanted us to be.  I just had no idea at that point that life coaching existed for people in my situation.  

So in a nutshell, a therapist can help you from struggling in your day-to-day functioning and bring you to baseline so that you can deal with your life better.  A life coach brings you from baseline to thriving and finding fulfillment in your life.  A coach can help you become better, happier, and more confident in your life than you ever thought possible.  

And some of my clients have both.  They have a therapist for their past trauma that they’re working through and sometimes even a psychiatrist who can prescribe needed medication for depression or anxiety, and then they work with me too, because they want their life to be even better than functional.  They want more for themselves and their family, but they also see the importance of working through the stuff that I am not able to help them through.  

Therapy is about looking backwards; and life coaching is about finding the next step to move you forward.  

I do believe that life can be best understood when looking backwards; but that we must live it forwards. With coaching we can always look backwards to learn from it, but not stay there too long. 

Okay, I hope the preschool teacher in me didn’t come out too much.  I get used to saying things a million different times in different ways to make sure that all 14 kids with all different learning styles understand the directions. So, moving on…

There are so many benefits to having a life coach.  And it isn’t something you have to do consistently for a long period of time to see the benefits in your life.  Most coaches have a program that you sign up for that is a certain number of weeks.  There is one-on-one coaching and group coaching out there, and each session is usually 45 to 60 minutes, just depending on your coach.  In your session, you will notice improved self-confidence, stronger boundaries in your life, have a better more intimate relationship with yourself and others, face life with more optimism, and have the forward momentum you need to reach the goals and things that are most important to you, whether that be starting a career, weight loss, raising your children well, or having a deeper connection with your spouse.  Coaching helps you discover what those things and what it is you want, create a plan to get it, and have someone there holding sacred space for you to make these discoveries while also holding you accountable.  

I coach moms.  That’s what I do.  And with that, I coach all things motherhood, especially parenting and relationships. And I love every second of it.  I have found my life’s purpose in this life coaching thing, and I plan to do it for the rest of my life.

So maybe you are constantly worried and wondering if you are doing things right by your child so that they will turn out to be a responsible kind human; maybe you haven’t been happy in your marriage for a while and want to figure out why; maybe you want to live more in the moment with your family because you know that your time with your children is speeding by but you often feel too stressed out of balance to be able to stop and take in these moments with them; maybe you just went through a very difficult divorce and want to figure out what can get you out of a rut and discover who you are as a person and not just a mom; maybe you’re worried about your children through the divorce and you want to make sure you’re doing things right by them; maybe you just want to connect on a deeper level with your teenager; maybe you want to find your life purpose outside of your children; maybe you’re just really unhappy and unfulfilled and want to figure out why; maybe you are building a business and need to figure out which steps you need to take next; maybe your last child just went to college and you’re asking yourself now what?; or maybe you’re wanting to get healthy and can’t seem to do it on your own.  Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom, a mompreneur, a working mom, a single mom, or a new empty-nester, you could benefit from coaching.  

Many of you might be thinking, oh that’s just a luxury for those who have a lot of money.  But I want to tell you, it’s not. There are times in your life when it becomes a necessity to have a coach and have that extra help, especially if you find a great coach for a reasonable price.

One of the things they teach us in coach training is to have a program and make sure each client signs up for however many weeks of the program and to not give them any other options, usually it’s around 12 weeks or so.  

But I do things a little differently.  When I was thinking through exactly what my purpose is with this whole coaching thing, I realized I wanted to make it so easy for moms to work with me, so that I could reach and reach as many as possible.  That was what I wanted:  to reach moms; to help families. 

So, I want moms to come to me with even a very specific problem they need help with.  If I said, “Okay moms come to me for help and then you’re stuck with me for 12 weeks as I take you through my entire program,” most moms wouldn’t come, we busy women don’t have time for that, right?.  We want efficient and effective help, and we want it now. Right now, while were in the middle of the crisis.

I wanted to make it so easy to work with me that moms will want to come back to me whenever they need to, as personal or family issues arise.  

I have a 4 week and an 8 week program.  But if I feel that your specific issue can be resolved in 2 sessions, I will let you know that too.  I’ve actually had quite a few people come to me for just two weeks to just figure something out.  Some of my clients choose to even stay longer because they love having that consistent check-in once a week or even every other week, because it’s inevitable that something always comes up with parenting and marriage and lots of other mommy problems that need to be discussed, right?  So although you can stay with me as long as you want, most come to me for just quick bursts of time.  

My 4 week program is for those moms that are dealing with a very specific issue, maybe with their child or in their marriage or a work problem or career change, and they need me to help them resolve that issue.   

And my 8 week program is very unique.  I love it.  I take you through a thought-provoking and creative process that is for you, moms, who want to get happier in your life and more confident in yourself all around.  I have created a unique and proven system that walks you through all the ins and outs of discovering and accepting yourself as well as figuring out what you really value, and setting goals for you and your family that help you create exponential growth and happiness in your life, while also inspiring you to maximize your personal and professional development.  It’s really an awesome program, and I’m super proud of it and what it has done for the moms that I have worked with. 

So that’s what I do.   I help moms become more happy in their lives and more confident in themselves and their motherhood than they ever thought possible.  And this, of course, trickles down into their family, helping everyone, not only to function, but to thrive. 

I just added a few more times to my calendar to hopefully help each of you find a time that works for you to come talk to me, for free, with never any pressure to continue on after we talk for a few minutes.  

But those of you who check my calendar sometimes, you probably have seen the choices are becoming less and less.  As I am working with more new clients, it leaves less time for me to take on new ones.  So if you want in, go to my website the-mommywhisperer.com and if you scroll down just a little you’ll see the button to click that takes you to my calendar.  It’s really easy, it only takes a minutes or so to sign up for a time.  I know some are worried of the commitment, especially as we go into the summer.  After we find a day of the week and time that works for both of us, if you want to continue to work with me, we also look at our calendars and take into account any trips or plans that we each have coming up and we just work around that.  So if your 8 weeks take all summer to get through, that is totally fine.  Like I always say, I totally respect the busyness of moms’ schedules.  

And if you come to me with an issue that I know I am not equipped to help you with, I am part of a vast network of coaches and I will personally find you one who can help you.  You can’t go wrong using me as your first point of contact on your journey to discovering how to get to where you want to be.  

I hope this has helped you understand what exactly mom coaching is, and I also hope it has helped you feel inspired to at least come try it out. 

And just remember:  your children don’t want a perfect mom; they want a happy mom.

Thank you so much for your time and I’ll talk to you next week.

Now there are two ways to work with me, and I honestly can’t wait to meet you.  Please make an appointment for a free 30-minute coaching call with me, you’ll be amazed at how much we can figure out for you and your family in just 30 minutes.  And now I also have a free workshop to show you how to help your high school student earn college credits without changing schools or adding hours to their day.  I’m so excited to share this with you.  Go to the links in the show notes or go to my website the-mommywhisperer.com. Let’s talk soon.