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Surviving Trauma: Stories of Hope
Surviving Trauma: Stories of Hope
From Captivity to Courage: Gloria Londono's Journey of Survival, Healing, and Forgiveness
What would you do if you were abducted and held captive for 90 days? Join us as we host the extraordinary Gloria Londono, a certified life coach and Reiki master, who shares her gripping tale of survival and resilience. At 25, Gloria faced a violent abduction in Colombia that led to a traumatic but transformative journey. Her story is not just one of survival but of healing from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, and discovering her calling to help others on their paths to recovery.
Ever wondered how Stockholm syndrome manifests and its psychological implications? Gloria opens up about the complexities of forming emotional bonds with her captors during her captivity. She recounts the strategies she employed to maintain hope and navigate her perilous situation, including identifying a protector among her captors through subtle cues. Through Gloria’s narrative, we delve into the human instinct for survival and the powerful, often unexpected, connections that can form under extreme stress.
Finally, Gloria delves into her path of self-discovery and forgiveness, shedding light on the toxic behaviors that arose from her unresolved traumas. She shares the pivotal moment that led her to a transformative retreat focused on forgiveness, marking the beginning of her journey to self-love and accountability. Gloria's experiences underscore the importance of detaching from toxic relationships, recognizing one’s worth, and the incredible power of forgiveness. Tune in for an episode that offers invaluable lessons on resilience, healing, and reclaiming one’s life with inner peace.
If you wish to connect with Gloria, check out his website and social media links below.
Website: https://glorialondono.com
Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/glorialondonocoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glorialondono/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/glorialondonocoach/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@glorialondonop976/
Book: Flourish in Captivity
Podcast: Unbreakable Life with Gloria
Connect with me by checking out mycenteredlife on social media, and leave me a comment to let me know what you think of the episode. Also please, head to Amazon, Takealot or Audible at the link and get your copy of my E-book, paperback book or audiobook edition, of Ray of Light, and please leave me a rating and review. It would mean the world to me.
Facebook: My Centered Life Facebook
Instagram: My Centered Life Instagram
Please support the show on Paypal: PayPal.Me/marlenegmcconnell
Hi there, I'm your host, marlene McConnell, and welcome to the Surviving Trauma Stories of Hope podcast. In this week's episode, I am delighted to welcome Gloria Londono to the podcast, who joins me from her home in Florida, united States. Gloria, a certified life coach, soon to be certified spiritual coach, podcaster and writer at Coaching World VIP LLC, brings a wealth of experience from overcoming personal challenges to helping others heal and transform. Her journey began with her healing from depression, anxiety and PTSD, leading her to discover her talent for activating others' healing journeys. Her expertise is grounded in a personal philosophy, emphasizing the importance of reconciling with one's family to achieve a professional and personal fulfillment. Gloria's approach tackles generational trauma, advocating for peace within oneself as a foundation for success in life and relationships. Gloria's background is as diverse as her skills, holding certifications as a Reiki master, massage therapist and yoga teacher. Her commitment to personal growth and helping others is evident in her accomplishments and she has guided many to rediscover their paths and navigate life's challenges. Gloria is also a devoted mother and grandmother, embracing life's journey with open arms. Her hobbies include advanced scuba diving, hiking and painting, reflecting her deep connection to nature and self-expression.
Speaker 1:It has been a pleasure to have Gloria join me, and I know you will enjoy this episode. I also have an announcement I recently launched my YouTube channel. I have an announcement I recently launched my YouTube channel. My videos include relevant inspirational content, positive affirmations and visualizations, as well as meditations and podcast. So please check out Marlene McConnell on YouTube if you have a moment. If you wish to support the podcast and help us keep going, please join the Infinite Progress Society on Patreon and take advantage of the great benefits. Thank you to my listeners for joining me on this journey. Comment on the posts on Instagram, facebook, linkedin, youtube and let me know what you think of the episode. Also, head to amazoncom audible takealotcom and get your copy of my book Ray of Light, and please leave me a rating and review. It would mean the world to me. Also, please check out my website and download your journal. Prompt and free, relaxing meditation, as always. Stay tuned and keep listening. Hi Gloria, thank you so much for joining me. Welcome, hi Marlene.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for inviting me. It's an honor to be here.
Speaker 1:The honor is all mine. It's wonderful to finally meet you in person. I've heard so much about you and I've read so much about you and I'm so excited to discuss your newly released memoir this evening on the podcast. So it's going to be a good conversation.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know it's going to be a good conversation, and also information and to share my story for people to feel better and transform their lives.
Speaker 1:I just want to say congratulations on becoming a published author and for having the courage to share your story with the world and for being that beacon of hope for people who have experienced violent trauma in this world and for sharing that message of hope that tells others that it is possible to survive, that it's possible to live a healthy, happy, fulfilled life following violent trauma. So congratulations, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:It's been a complex journey, but it's a journey that I didn't have, no choice to change it, so I have to. I have to went through the situation and I'm so happy to be here, like today, alive and wanting to live and happy to live. And I'm a mother, I'm a grandmother. So when you see back, when you go and look back all the things that you went through and how many things you achieved in your personal journey, for me it's like wow.
Speaker 2:And sometimes we forget that we are survivors and we forget that we have a lot of tools. But sometimes we need to go back to our traumas and to say, ah, okay, I remember I'm a survivor, I remember I'm resilient, I remember I can do anything. But sometimes we get confused because the traumas create a lot of stuff, creating insecurity and a lot of things that eventually they trigger you and you think you're like you're here already, and then the things show up and you said, ah, I think I already have this, so why I'm having so much difficult to deal with this? And it's for you to recognize that you still have it. It's like those triggers is to remember you who you are.
Speaker 1:So, gloria, your story starts at a very young age of 25, as a young adult living in Colombia and carefree, until one day your life was completely turned upside down. One day, your life was completely turned upside down. Do you want to take us through the events leading up and that particular devastating day.
Speaker 2:Yes, that day, like you mentioned before, it was the day that transformed my life. It was the beginning of a new person. It was the beginning of a new journey, but it started very, very hard and started very rough and very scary. So what happened was, you know, I was a single mother in that time. My father take care of me and my daughter. I was going to school to study business administration.
Speaker 2:I was in my second year and one day I went into my car and two cars stopped me just right there in front of the gate of the university. And two cars just stopped in front and I thought, well, maybe it's a reckless driver. And the next thing I feel was a gun in my forehead. So I thought at the beginning that was going to take my car, but I never knew that was taking me. So they took me out from the car and they dropped me in a trunk of a car and they just lost the key of my freedom. And those first hours are. You are in shock and you don't know what's going to happen to you. You have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 1:The brain is trying to make sense of everything.
Speaker 2:Right, the brain don't know what's going on. The only thing that the brain knows you are in fear. You are in extreme fear and it's like your mind goes like white, like you're not recording anything. The fear is there, like more amplified, and yeah, you get some glimpse of things that you can do, but it's so much the emotion on you that is like taking away your energy to be able to think or to do or to escape or have an imagination what you can do if they open the trunk or whatever. People maybe can have that, but in my case I couldn't. I was not trained to survive in that way, because we are trained to survive in other ways, but to survive in that situation never.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the reality is that if you are going through a violent crime like that, it's not at all like we see in the movies. So even if you have this notion or idea of what you see in the movies, the real life crime does not work like that.
Speaker 2:Not at all. I also, in that time I have we have cell phones the cell phones that were like big and thick, the first cell phones. And my father got me a cell phone and I always keep my cell phone in my in my body. And I got into the when they put me in the trunk of the car. I had my cell phone with me but I couldn't dial. I couldn't dial, like I don't know how to dial, and then my mind goes into oh my God, this people is going to know I have this. They're going to kill me when they open that. Oh my God, I'm going to tell them I have this. It was like that. So when the guy opened the trunk, the first thing I did I have this phone, I have this phone. No, no, I don't call nobody. I don't call nobody Because eventually they was going to find out, because I was not that like understanding the situation.
Speaker 2:I'm going to make a phone call and tell them or track with my phone, or I'm going to leave it hiding in this car. It was not, it was like I want to protect my life, I don't want them to kill me, I don't want them to find out that I did a phone call and for me it was the number one survival situation I have right there. So they pulled me out from that trunk. They drive like maybe I would say it could be 20 minutes, could be 10, could be 30 minutes. It was so fast for me in my mind I didn't know how fast or how far we was. So they took me out from that trunk and put me in a small room, but a very small bed with just a toilet, and they said they kidnapped me.
Speaker 2:And for me that day I was on my way to pick up my daughter. She was three years old and she was in the daycare. So for me it was like who's going to pick up my daughter? I'm not going to be able to pick her up, and what I'm going to do now?
Speaker 1:I can't begin to imagine the millions of thoughts that went through your mind at that time.
Speaker 2:Yes, let me tell you, marlene, it's indescribable because, yes, your life is in jeopardy, but also you want to be a mother, you want to see your kids and your daughter and that was the only thing I was thinking but also, because of her, me keep going. Because of her, I have a daughter. I need to survive because of her.
Speaker 2:I want to survive, because she needs a mother and I want to be a mother. So thank God I have a daughter. In that moment, because we see sometimes the situation like wow, she had a three-year-old, but thank God I have her because probably I wouldn't be even telling you the story at this moment in my life.
Speaker 1:And I think sometimes that is the motivation to navigate that difficult situation, because when you're in a situation with strangers that have taken you, you almost have to become dependent on them, because that is your only source of life and connection to get out of there.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that's what a lot of people don't understand. For example, in my case I did have Stockholm syndrome and for people that don't know what is Stockholm syndrome is when you emotionally attach to a captor or a kidnapper. In my case it was a kidnapper, but it was nothing like I planned to do. No, it was something that, because I was constantly reminded, we're going to kill you, we're going to sell you, we're going to torture you. So when you hear that many, many times, your mind is like, no, we need to be creative. Your mind get created. And something very strange happened when you are in captivity that your mind stays in the present and in the future but don't go in the past because it doesn't have. It's no time to think about the past. It's now and what's going to happen next? The future, right. So my family say that they couldn't pay and then God bless you, god do whatever they want to do with you and your daughter's in great hands. So when you hear that after a long time in captivity, the next thing is okay, they're going to kill me now. Hopelessness that creates in kill me now.
Speaker 2:So before that, I was already having like more grateful with them, like with kindness, thank you for the water, thank you for the food. So I break them, I break my enemy with kindness. At the beginning they just like whatever. But then I saw like, oh, you're welcome. But then I saw like, oh, you're welcome. And then the next meal, oh, thank you so much. It was so good, it was delicious. You know, I'm so grateful for you.
Speaker 2:You guys are taking care of me and, believe it or not, they start, you know, by being nicer to me and when you are in captivity, in my case, that I never see their faces because they always was covered. So I only see the eyes, and the eyes is the window of the soul. And also, when you are in captivity, your five sense amplifies. So you smell more. You know you smell more. You know you start to learn about the way they move, the way they talk, the tone of the voice, if they was mad or not, who are more chill, who was more at ease. So I start to learn that because I was in survival mode, because my goal was I want to get out alive from here, no matter what. So I saw one of the guys was like my target, okay, okay, this is the guy who's going to save my life. And why when I say that?
Speaker 1:because and how long were you in captivity? How long were you?
Speaker 2:in captivity. I was 90 days in the dark Nine zero, nine zero, three months In that room. In that room they changed me to another room because they feel that the police was very close. So that's why they had to move me to another location. But when they had me in that room it was a small and smelly and hot. And when the guy said to me we need to move you because the area is very hot Hot means, you know, there's a lot of police around I said to myself, oh, thank God, they're going to change me. Maybe the other room is bigger and more cleaner than this. So the little small things becomes like wow, like okay, they got to move me, okay, yeah. And when I got to the other room it was much better, but it doesn't mean I was happier. It was much better for the moment and I was kind of happier because it was fresh and they have more air. So it was like a good change for me in a yeah.
Speaker 2:And I got depression, I got anxiety and one day I have a severe depression. I couldn't even get up from the bed. The kidnapper came in and hugged me and that's where I feel like transfer of vital energy towards me and right away I said, okay, this is the one. And I started working towards, you know, seduction, because I would say that's the power that women have and men too. But I said, okay, I'm going to seduce this guy Like, oh, thank you More into him. Like, thank you for the water, thank you for you know, to be here with me the day I was bad. Can you come more often and we can sit down and talk more?
Speaker 2:And he got into that and he said yes, and he started coming in, coming in, coming in, and then I knew he was not going to let me kill, he was not going to let me sell or torture. So for me to be able to talk about this today, I have to process this for 17 years because nobody knew about it, because I feel guilty and shame, because I was worried about what people are going to say Wow, you kidnapped and you got emotionally attached to this guy, you got in love with this guy. And I didn't want to explain it that time because I didn't have the study of it. Like, okay, I don't want to explain it that time because I didn't have the study of it, like, okay, I don't know. So in the moment somebody asked me it was love In the moment. Yes, it was love, but it was not that I want to stay with him, it's just I love him for what he did for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, showed you the kindness that you used as a survival mechanism at the time to sort of sense your surroundings. And when you don't have the usual access that we all have to facial expressions and recognition, then you have to find alternative ways in order to gather information. Then you have to find alternative ways in order to gather information and I think it's just the instinct, the human instinct, that helps us to survive and it's very natural to have that and to do it in that way. But I hear you talk about the amount of shame that you felt around this, especially developing the Stockholm syndrome with your captor. I want to get to how you actually moved past that. But I first want to know how did you escape? When it came to the city the end of the 90 days? Were you located by the police? What?
Speaker 2:happened. Well, my father got very anxious because what my father and my mother has to say? That they don't have money to pay for my ransom. It was directed by the people, the organization that's in charge to find people that are kidnapped. So there was kind of playing like a roulette and my mother and my father didn't want to say that. But the guy who's in charge of trying to find people that are being kidnapped. He said you have to say this. And my father, I don't want to say this. And then the guy from the GAULA said well, you need to take medication, but you need to say this and your wife has to say this because we need to disarticulate them. We need to disarticulate with this kind of reaction. So my father got into negotiation with them.
Speaker 2:But also when I get out from when they released me, the day they released me, I came out like mad to my family, very mad. I didn't want to know anything about them because I was only with my story but I didn't know the other part. So I ran with that story for 17 years. My family don't care about me, my father don't love me, my mom don't love me, Father don't love me, my mom don't love me and I had a lot of fights with them, Always like you know, telling them you guys, this, you guys that Fights, very disgusting fights towards them, because I was mad at them, Like how you guys, you know, abandoned me in that situation but I didn't want to hear their story. When I hear the story after 17 years, I said I cry like a little girl. Like I said, wow, how selfish I am that I just run with my story because I'm a survivor and a victim. But also there was suffering. They also was kidnapped with me, not physically, but they was kidnapped. All my family was kidnapped. My two brothers have to flew them away from the country because there was targets. So I was selfish for 17 years and very miserable for 17 years.
Speaker 2:After I got released, I didn't receive the help that I should and I blamed my family for a long time for that. But I came to come into conclusion that I cannot live with that blame. I have to find the truth of the whole entire story, not only my side. So it was a long process to be able to see that, Like what I recommend somebody when to go to a big, big, huge trauma, like right away, right away, you get out from that trauma right away. You need to get help because it was short the time for healing. In my case, a long the time for healing. Why? Because I didn't have the resources at the beginning, because I was mad to my family.
Speaker 2:So I moved to the United States and I came like here in work. I was a workaholic, so my trauma relating to being very workaholic and this was the way I was, like trying to survive. So I came from survival and I came to this country to survive. So the only thing I've been doing for 17 years was surviving and living in a survive mode and it's very difficult because you don't have great relationships with people when you are in survival mode.
Speaker 2:So, going back to what you're saying, that my family pay, that night they said, like it was January 28, 1998. The guy said they pay for you. I said what? Yes, your family pay for you. So the moment that he said that, I said oh, I don't love this guy, I don't want this guy. Like right away, I don't want this guy. So right there, I knew it was just I was using the guy for me to survive. But when I get out, the people who work with people that are being kidnapped. They told me the entire time that I have Stockholm syndrome, that I have Stockholm. I said no, no, I deny, because they released me. My father look at me and say, wow, you don't look like you as kidnapped, you look like you auto-kidnap yourself. So my father say that I just I don't want to say it.
Speaker 2:I just want to die with this secret because then I'm going to. Then if they find out I did have a relationship with this guy, then they're going to, they're going to think I have something to do with this. So I was quiet for 17 years. Just the last December I told my father and my mother about that because my book was about to launch in April. So my coach said to me you're going to launch a book, you have to tell the truth to your parents because anyway they're going to find out and you need to be more like, in peace to do that. So I just did, and the response from my parents was to do that.
Speaker 2:So I just did, and the response from my parents was don't worry you did what you need to do and it was for me like, wow, like, thank.
Speaker 1:God Such a relief and so comforting.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Thinking that, having been in that captivity for so long and constantly being in a fight and flight mode, not knowing if today is the day that you were going to be killed, because you were constantly told that you were going to be killed and you were going to be tortured, how did you adjust when you had to return back to society and go back to your room and had the freedom to walk to the kitchen and being able to sleep on a clean bed with clean linen? What was that transition from captivity back into society like for you in the first couple of months?
Speaker 2:Well, what I'm going to say is very ironic. What happens to me? When I got released, physically I was free, but mentally I auto-kidnapped myself in fear Because I never saw the faces of the kidnappers. So I was not really completely free. I couldn't go out to a store or a mall to go see my friends I couldn't. It released me and I was still in captivity.
Speaker 2:My family yeah, don't let me to go out any place the sensation of a clean bed and a warm shower again, it was fantastic. But I remember that that was not the main thing. My main thing was fear. I want to get out from that country, like as soon as possible, and to go into life being out to kidnap, and then you start showing your signs that you are a person that have trauma and you also become very toxic. I became very toxic because nobody understand me and nobody needs to understand that. The one who I need to understand is myself and to find the tools to be able to overcome my traumas, overcome whatever issue I have. But I was blaming the other persons like why they don't understand me, and I had a behavior like very defensive you cannot say anything to me. Because I was, I was snapped. The communication it was very bad yeah.
Speaker 1:And it sounds to me like you almost felt justified in your behavior in acting from that place of fear, in being defensive, in locking yourself in. Would you say that?
Speaker 2:was the case, a hundred percent. I was kidnapped not only three months. I've been kidnapped for more than 17 years since the kidnap, even before, because I did have a very rough childhood. My father was very cruel, so I was in fear too. So, yes, the kidnap. For me it was like you want to know exactly what is freedom, let me kidnap you. You want to know exactly what is freedom? Let me kidnap you. And then to come out from that it was like tremendous amount of work, of self-work, reading, therapy, coaching, seeing my own issues, forgiving. Take the phone and call the people I hurt. I'm so sorry I hurt you. What I said, because I'm also hurt. I'm so sorry. You don't need to understand this. I'm the one who needs to understand. I have an issue. So being responsible with my own self and knowing that I was toxic and not because I want to be toxic, it's because I was in pain and I didn't know how to overcome all that emotions and how to and how did you?
Speaker 1:how did you? Because you're talking and you're saying to me that you know you had this toxic behavior and I'm sure that you didn't understand why, all of a sudden, you are this toxic person, but when? Because you know the life after trauma, it evolves so quickly. But and it all comes from that place of fear, that place of anger, that place of defensiveness that, before you know it, you are, like you say, a toxic individual that inflicts pain on others, right Hurt people that hurt others. Toxic individual that inflicts pain on others, right Hurt people that hurt others. So what was it in your life that actually was the mirror for you to say hang on, gloria, look at yourself in the mirror here and see the reflection of what you've now become. I hit the wall.
Speaker 2:I was tired to be kidnapped, auto-kidnapped myself. I was tired to be the person who I was and I didn't want to be in a toxic relationship because I always blame oh yeah, I'm an issue. That's why we bring in this narcissist person into your life, for you to see that you also are a narcissist, because we tend to say that he was, she was. No, I was a narcissist and I attract narcissists, so the narcissist show me. So I don't want to live like that anymore. And one day a friend of mine said Gloria, let me take you to a retreat of forgiveness, and I know that's going to change your life forever. And I was let's go. Not even think how much it is when it is yes, take me there, I want to go.
Speaker 2:And it was four days very intense. That was the beginning of my transformation. It was like 12 years ago. And it was four days very intense. That was the beginning of my transformation. It was like 12 years ago. I said okay, I have a lot of work to do, like a lot. It's like I need to master my life. The fact that you say forgiveness.
Speaker 1:Was that turning point, the key to really unlocking the door to redemption and self-forgiveness and self-love and the new life that we yearn for. The girl that survived the kidnapper it's absolutely fantastic for me to hear that, because I think even the listeners this is something that we should be shouting from the rooftops. More people should be experiencing forgiveness and the teachings of forgiveness in their life, because that, I believe, truly is the key to redemption and to a second chance at life. Do you think that at the retreat, when you were going through all of the different aspects of forgiveness and the rituals that they had, that in that moment you could feel that physical shift happening within you, Because you had already committed by the time you got to the retreat? Yes, Forgiveness.
Speaker 2:I even get goosebumps because forgiveness is the tool. There's many tools, but for me, forgiveness is the tool number one for miracles, it's the master key to open the door for transformation. And when you open the door to forgiveness and when you open the door of forgiveness, you don't have no idea how much things can change in your life in a minute, in days, in time. Because when you open because it's a miracle, because they teach you life, teach you to be humiliated, teach you to be rejected, teach you to be, to feel abandon, to feel abandonment. It teaches you to have injustice.
Speaker 2:So we all go through that and I know 100% there's a lot of people out there that go through a lot of different, same stuff, different levels, and we have some pain in some way and we hate someone because it inflicts pain in us. That's the miracle To say you know what? I understand you, I wasn't paying to and you probably wasn't paying to, I forgive you. And how we know that we forgive the person when we think about them and we just feel just unconditional love. Because when you can say, yes, I forgive this person, but then communication came up for that person and it triggers you. It still triggers you and you're still a little bit mad. You don't forgive that person. You still need more work to do towards that.
Speaker 1:When you think back and you think to the experience and you think to the people, there shouldn't be a stirring on your spiritual heart, you shouldn't feel that movement here within you. As long as that exists, there's more work to be done. So, this journey of self-discovery that you went on, what did that look like once you left the forgiveness retreat, which I think is so beautiful? What did that journey of self-discovery look like for you?
Speaker 2:Well, I said to myself I have a lot of work to do, but the work I have to do. It was not like I went to the retreat for four days and things is going to start like being perfectly fine for you right away. It's when the work begins for your life. So I start because I believe in synchronicity and when you accept to life that you want to transform, you want to heal your pain, suffering and you want to forgive because you already learned the lesson, then life would start throwing your synchronicity like it's trying to give you books that you need to read, people that you need to listen, or you are in the store and somebody came to you and say some word that you need to listen. So it's like a puzzle. I always say life is like a puzzle and every single minute of your life you have the piece of the puzzle of your life, of your life. You have the peace of the Passover of your life.
Speaker 2:But because when you are so angry and mad to people and you still have resentment towards people, you don't see those miracles, you don't see that life is transforming. You feel stuck. You feel stuck, you feel heaviness. You don't know what you have. Your abundance is lack, your success is lack, Because to be successful is not to have money or to have a job. Success is in every single area of our lives. So, yeah, you can have a good relationship, but then money is not flowing. Or you can have a bad relationship, but money is flowing, so there's a disbalance in the wheel of your life. So you need to see where is your disbalance and say, okay, this is where I need to focus in my life to balance.
Speaker 2:And that's when I just understand that I said, oh, I'm going to start forgiving, I want to start working with the people I feel that I hate or insult. And I call them. And I remember I called two of them. I said I need to talk to you, have a minute. And he said yes, Gloria, no problem, they don't have no idea that I have a lot to resent towards them. So I called them. I said I'm calling you because I want to ask you for forgiveness, because this day you'd say something and did this something to me and I feel so bad and from that I hate you and from that, every time I see you, I say bad things about you and like everything, what I was, you know, feeling about that person. That person start crying and say oh Gloria, I'm so sorry that I did that. I didn't know that, I hurt you so much, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:And when he say that it was like something left off, the weight was just lifted off your shoulders, Like my soul, like yes, one more, like more, step more to the real freedom of your life.
Speaker 1:Wow, I can completely relate to this because after trauma, healing is jam-packed with emotions and there are so many different emotions and we don't always know what they are, we don't always know how to articulate it, how to recognize it, and the beauty of it is that what you've described is really just a way that the universe helps us to unravel all of that through all of the different synchronicities the friend that comes to us, the book that comes to us, a passerby, a random person on the street or in the store that helps us, and the miracles just exist everywhere.
Speaker 1:So, even if we feel like we're drowning and we can't quite articulate all of this, there's always help that is surrounding us and if we are open and willing to see those blessings and miracles, then they're there. We're not alone. We're definitely not alone. We have all the support from the entire spirit world and the entire universe around us. And it's incredible, when we think about it in that way, that, gloria, you've come face to face with your mortality, thinking that you know your life was going to be over, to know that you're actually not alone, that the universe was there with you all along.
Speaker 2:You know, marlene, when you find out how much miracles you can create in your life, you want to keep continuing doing those miracles. So what that means you want to continue, keep learning about you, because it's not about only you. You have to also learn about your family, and to understand your family, where you come from your ancestors, and to understand your family where you come from your ancestors. And going to a place that, if you have kids, you want to be the healing link of the family Like this is no more. No more of this of my family, no more of this suffering path that the family has been having for many, many years. It's up to here, but when you get up to here, you need to have a lot of unconditional love for others and to understand. So it's like you need to serve life, and when you serve life, you just need to understand everybody and don't engage in anything. Everybody's going to have their own opinion, right, but also you're going to have your own opinion, but you're not going to engage. So what I want to say is, when you cultivate your freedom, your peace, you don't let that go with a hurricane. You don't want to let go your stuff because somebody is, in whatever situation. So what I do, I act as a server. I serve you, I serve life, I serve my life and I serve others. And when you serve others it's when you help them also to feel free.
Speaker 2:And I want to be free. I don't want to be in captivity again in myself. I don't want to auto-kid in myself. I don't want to auto-kinnap myself no more. I already know that. So I know that life put me to be in this captivity and kidnap.
Speaker 2:For me to understand there's so many ways to be free. It is not the free of oh, I just got kidnapped and got released. That's one part of to be free. But to be absolutely free and peace for me is the ultimate divine mission. Because when you get that, when you understand that it's going to be always challenge, but you're going to have a smile on your face and you know that later it's going to be better, that the situation is going right now it's going right now. You have the tools. You read, you know how to deal with that. You want to get sad? You get sad. You want to get depressed, you get depressed, but you know how to get there and not to dwell on the same thing for long, because life is too short. So for me, the ultimate goal is to keep my peace and to keep the freedom of my soul.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful and I think you know everyone's journey is different. Most violent trauma survivors that I've come across have taken themselves hostage, like you say, and have taken decades to find that freedom and peace within themselves. Have taken decades to find that freedom and peace within themselves. It was never a short process, but finding that freedom and peace brings a whole new second chance at life that you just want to hold on to with both hands.
Speaker 1:I wanted just to ask you we touched a little bit on toxic relationships earlier and it resonated with me because that is another theme that often, when I speak to violent trauma survivors are that whatever they feel as a base emotion that they operate from, they would always say that I end up in the same situation when it comes to relationships over and over, and they usually becomes very toxic and quite often the other person also has some level of a traumatic experience that in some weird way they bond over, but it can never really move forward. It just moves forward in toxicity. Do you have any guidance for the listeners who find themselves now, following their experience that was traumatic, in a relationship that is toxic? Do you have any guidance on how to navigate in order to find the path of, but number one if the person is in a toxic relationship.
Speaker 2:the person should ask do I really want to get out from this relationship? Because sometimes there are relationships they want to get out but they can't. Now the person that is already out. I want to understand that this process could be. It's going to be painful because you are. You know, detaching from a toxic relationship means you are toxic. So you need to desintoxicate yourself first. First, work in yourself, love yourself again, recognize that you are your value because you are. You know, because when you are in a relationship like that, you are disvaluing yourself. You don't feel that you are someone, so you think like you are nothing and that's why you have that relationship. So you need to reconnect with yourself first before you jump into another relationship. Yes, in the beginning it's going to be a lot of pain, a lot of fear. I'm going to be alone. What I'm going to do? You know what is going to be next. And I want you to take a pause in your life about dating and going into another relationship, because I guarantee you you will go and run into another relationship. You're going to find the same relationship even worse, because you come in already hurt for one, so you bring in that toxicity hurt to another one. So I want to tell you that get help, because alone you can do it, but if you have the tools, even if you have the tools, always we need someone to guide me. I'm a coach and I always have another coach to coach me, because sometimes we don't see our world, how other people see what we do and what we're saying. So the first thing is to get help. If it's in a relationship, toxic relationship, if they have fear to get out, talk to someone that you trust and ask to see how you can get out from that. Because also in toxic relationships also, estocon syndrome is showing up. In a relationship. You don't need to be in captivity to have Estocon syndrome. That the person is in a relationship that they are very violent and they're afraid to go. So the person who's violent, the person comes in the afternoon and give like a little, bring a little chocolate, and the person oh no, you know, he bring me this chocolate. Maybe he's going to change. So that's the Stockholm syndrome. So that's why I love to talk about Stockholm syndrome, because it's very new and people think that it's only for people that are in captivity. And the tools I would say is change your diet.
Speaker 2:Start journaling piece by piece. If you have a lot of anger in yourself, just journey your anger every day. Why you got anger. At the end of 30 days, go check your calendar. What exactly is going on in your life. Second month even. You want to highlight that Second month. You keep journeying and then you're going to see that maybe from 30 days, maybe three days, you are happier. So you journey that and congratulate yourself for that. In third month, the same thing.
Speaker 2:It took me five months for me to remove my anger and the feistiness and everything. Five months, not three months. Five months journaling and I commit to say I'm suffering. I cannot live like this way. I want to remove this suffering from me. I have a lot of anger, let me fix this, this suffering from me. I have a lot of anger, let me fix this.
Speaker 2:And I was very gentle with myself, read a lot and at the end of five months I saw my calendar. I still have some days. But then already passed like two years and I said, wow, right now, anybody can come right now and scream on me. I'm not going to engage on that because I know, I know the pain the other person have. It doesn't make me less if I don't reply. In fact, I'm giving the respect to not engage on that and also respect myself Like I don't. I'm cultivating this freedom and peace I'm not going to let go. So those are the tools to find someone, to make sure you want to do that and, once you do it, to know that the journey is going to be challenged but a beautiful at the same time, because you're going to find yourself in there.
Speaker 1:That's, that's great advice. Thank you so much. I think everybody can benefit from really committing to that process over a few months' time in order to see and actually note their progress from month to month. I think sometimes when we go to therapy or we engage in other sort of interventions, you don't always keep track of it. Interventions you don't always keep track of it, and perhaps you know the work that you were meant to do at home, whether it's from a psychologist or from a coach. Perhaps you don't get to that. And so I like the accountability aspect of what you are suggesting, because you're holding yourself accountable, you're highlighting this and you're actually looking and you're comparing it on a month-to-month basis. So, yeah, accountability, I think, is key on that path of self-discovery and self-love and personal growth.
Speaker 2:Right, you know, like you mentioned this, there's a lot of people there that they don't have the resources to find a therapist or a coach. But start from there. Like I mentioned before, start by a calendar or by a book or something where you can write. Put the months there, start writing how you feel today at night Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. How you feel in the night boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. How you feel in the morning boom, boom. And 30 days later you're going to read all that and see you can find your root there. Where's the cause of your anger? And then you just target that Okay, this is what I need to do and your own tools are going to come out when you do the work. It's not like you're going to sit down in 30 days. You're not going to. You need to go and read that, because the tool will come out, because what God or the universe is giving you the tools for you to see yourself in your own way, for you to find your own tools.
Speaker 1:I can't believe we've been chatting for almost a whole hour and we haven't yet talked about your book, flourish in Captivity, and is there anything specifically that you feel inspired to share with us? I am going to link your book so the listeners can get a copy. And remember, when you get a copy, please leave Gloria a rating and review. Her book was released on April 24th, so it's available on all major book directories, such as Amazon, and I'll link it for you guys. Is there anything as a closing thought about your book that you would like to share with the listeners?
Speaker 2:Well, my book is for you to flourish in captivity. You don't need to be in captivity or kidnap. You also can be out of kidnapping yourself. And that book is for you to flourish, to be successful in your life and to reconnect, for you to transform because you already know how to transform it, just it remind you that you can do it and flourish in captivity.
Speaker 1:That's a powerful message. I think that so many people are stuck in their lives and stuck within themselves, trapped within themselves, in a cage within themselves, in prison walls within themselves. So thank you for shining the light on that, because I think for many people it's a very difficult thing to acknowledge and to say I am my own prisoner and I'm the creator thereof and I don't want this anymore. So, yeah, a very empowering book, very empowering title, an absolute must read. And then, just for the listeners, gloria also has a wonderful podcast, if you would like to tune in, called the Unbreakable Life with Glory, and you can find her podcast on all major directories and I'll also leave a link for you in the show notes below.
Speaker 1:Gloria, it's been amazing talking to you. You are so incredibly inspiring, having endured the level of incident in your life that was extremely traumatic and life-threatening. If I think about the separation from your child for 90 days, the separation from your family during that time, the extent of fear and absolute terror that you had to live in, extent of fear and absolute terror that you had to live in, and how you find the strength to cope and get through, that is admirable and I want to say that your message is powerful because it inspires me.
Speaker 2:It gives others hope that even if you experience something that is debilitating, so experience something that is debilitating, even if it takes decades, even if it takes 10 years, 17 years, 25 years, you can come out the other side and you can flourish, and I think that's a beautiful and empowering message. So thank you so much for sharing that with us today. Thank you, Marlene, for this invitation. I'm so happy to share with you and to be able to help others to feel better. That's the only thing that we can do like for people to feel better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you. Well, thank you very much and have a great rest of your day. Bye.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, bye.
Speaker 1:That wraps up this podcast episode. Thank you for listening. If you enjoy my podcast, please take a minute to give me a rating and review in Apple Podcasts. Please subscribe in your favorite podcast directory so you don't miss an episode. Please consider following my Scented Life on Facebook and Instagram for daily inspiration. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. You can catch me again in the next episode, same time, same place, sending you lots of love and light. Bye.