When Irene Brooks, a social worker turned CEO of No Place Like Home Senior Services, sat down to recount her transition from marketing to the heartfelt realm of elder care, it wasn't just her career trajectory that captivated us—it was her unwavering kindness. Throughout our conversation, Irene's moving stories of caregiving, from nurturing the independence of seniors in their homes to the tender complexities of dementia care, remind us all of the transformative power of compassion in action. Her personal anecdotes about her own parents' journeys not only shed light on the demanding trials caregivers face but also celebrate the profound connections that can be forged in the process.
As the episode unfolds, the shadow of loneliness that often accompanies aging emerges as a pressing issue, with impacts as severe as some of the most well-known health risks. But it's the solutions, the small acts of kindness that each of us can offer, that truly resonate. We explore the poignant effects that a simple conversation, a shared moment, or even a gentle understanding of dementia can have on the hearts of our elders. This episode is a clarion call to embrace kindness as a guiding force in our interactions, to support those who spend their days caring for others, and to recognize the indelible mark we leave on the world with each act of genuine care.
Do you dread Mondays? Does the thought of another Monday steal the joy of your weekend? Let me tell you about a product I have found and tried that can do away with the Sunday Scaries. Oddly enough, it’s from a company called Sunday Scaries. I have personally tried their products, gummies and tinctures and I can personally attest to their efficacy. If you go to their website and order any product, use the code Kindness20 to receive a 20% discount on your order.
Do you like good coffee? Are you like me and go to bed in anticipation of a great cup of coffee in the morning (and afternoon, maybe). Then let me introduce you to my newest sponsor, Coffee Bros. They have built their business on the cornerstones of sustainability, quality, consistency, and freshness. From coffee to brewing techniques to coffee and espresso machines, they should be your go-to for all things coffee. And if you order from them, use the code Kind10 to get a 10% discount on your order.
Did you find this episode uplifting, inspiring or motivating? Would you like to support more content like this? Check out our Support The Show Page here.
When Irene Brooks, a social worker turned CEO of No Place Like Home Senior Services, sat down to recount her transition from marketing to the heartfelt realm of elder care, it wasn't just her career trajectory that captivated us—it was her unwavering kindness. Throughout our conversation, Irene's moving stories of caregiving, from nurturing the independence of seniors in their homes to the tender complexities of dementia care, remind us all of the transformative power of compassion in action. Her personal anecdotes about her own parents' journeys not only shed light on the demanding trials caregivers face but also celebrate the profound connections that can be forged in the process.
As the episode unfolds, the shadow of loneliness that often accompanies aging emerges as a pressing issue, with impacts as severe as some of the most well-known health risks. But it's the solutions, the small acts of kindness that each of us can offer, that truly resonate. We explore the poignant effects that a simple conversation, a shared moment, or even a gentle understanding of dementia can have on the hearts of our elders. This episode is a clarion call to embrace kindness as a guiding force in our interactions, to support those who spend their days caring for others, and to recognize the indelible mark we leave on the world with each act of genuine care.
Do you dread Mondays? Does the thought of another Monday steal the joy of your weekend? Let me tell you about a product I have found and tried that can do away with the Sunday Scaries. Oddly enough, it’s from a company called Sunday Scaries. I have personally tried their products, gummies and tinctures and I can personally attest to their efficacy. If you go to their website and order any product, use the code Kindness20 to receive a 20% discount on your order.
Do you like good coffee? Are you like me and go to bed in anticipation of a great cup of coffee in the morning (and afternoon, maybe). Then let me introduce you to my newest sponsor, Coffee Bros. They have built their business on the cornerstones of sustainability, quality, consistency, and freshness. From coffee to brewing techniques to coffee and espresso machines, they should be your go-to for all things coffee. And if you order from them, use the code Kind10 to get a 10% discount on your order.
Did you find this episode uplifting, inspiring or motivating? Would you like to support more content like this? Check out our Support The Show Page here.
Speaker 1:
This podcast is part of the Deluxe Edition Network. To find other great shows on the network, head over to deluxeeditionnetworkcom. That's deluxeeditionnetworkcom.
Speaker 2:
Kindness, we see it all around us. We see it when someone pays for someone else's coffee or holds the door open for another person. We see it in the smallest of gestures, like a smile or a kind word. But it's different when we turn on the news or social media. Oftentimes what we hear about what outlets are pushing is the opposite of kind. Welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. Our goal is to give you a place to relax, to revel in stories of people who have received or given kindness, a place to inspire and motivate each and every one of us to practice kindness every day. Hello everybody and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast.
Speaker 2:
I am your host, mike Rathbun, and before we get into our show today, let me remind you that the Deluxe Edition Network has a podcast of the month section, and this month there are two. First up is Friends Talking Nerdy. It's a podcast hosted by Professor Aubrey and Tim the Nerd that delves deep into all things geeky and nerdy. With their passion for pop culture, science, mental health and technology, the hosts offer insightful commentary on the latest trends and happenings in the world of geekdom. Through their engaging banter and lively discussions, professor Aubrey and Tim the Nerd create a fun and informative space for all nerds to come together and explore the latest trends and ideas. Join them, won't you?
Speaker 2:
Also up this month is the podcast Films and Fermentation. It follows three friends who like to talk shit about movies while getting shit-faced. Your hosts, kevin, Mike and Leo, discuss various movie topics in conjunction with their favorite libations. It's a podcast about alcohol and cinema Cheers. Look for both of these shows at deluxeeditionnetworkcom. Forward slash podcast of the month. And now on with the show. My guest today is she's so awesome, she is so much fun and we've spoken together a couple times and I just want you to meet her too. She is a social worker and the founder and CEO of no Place Like Home Senior Services in Raleigh, north Carolina. Welcome to the show, irene Brooks.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for having me, Mike.
Speaker 2:
Oh, it is so good to have you here, irene. We and we've been talking a lot. I just did a show with a with another person who works in the same industry as you do. She is. She's one of the persons that goes to the homes.
Speaker 1:
But this notion- I heard her show she's, she's great, she's one of my people.
Speaker 2:
Wow, yes, yeah, it's like if you're ever in North Carolina, you need a job, hit me up right, right, yeah, that was Don and and but. But I'm really fixated on this notion, this idea that seniors, the elderly in our communities, really need more kindness, and you have come to answer that call with your, with your business. But let let's start from the very beginning, as Mary oh, I would. That wasn't Mary Poppins, that was. That was the sound of music, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:
Let's start at the, okay. Anyway, it's late in the week, you can tell. So you, you started off your career, though, as a social worker, correct?
Speaker 1:
So it's a yes. So yes and no. I went well. I got my degree in social work and wanted to be a social worker from the time that I was a small child. My mom said you don't want to be a social worker? Social workers are poor.
Speaker 2:
They're what.
Speaker 1:
They're poor. I have no.
Speaker 2:
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:
And the fact that in where I'm from originally, which is New York, social workers pretty much get put their lives in their hands every time they go out. It's a dangerous job. So she was really concerned about that. So I went and got my degree. It was something that I always wanted to do, but I listened to her and went into business. I went into marketing and advertising and then it never left my heart. So I decided I was going to go into social work and I did that for several years.
Speaker 2:
Okay and so that, but you eventually found your way to working in the field that you, that you're currently in. Is that correct?
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, I did, I did.
Speaker 2:
What truly no go ahead.
Speaker 1:
Originally I was working with families and children because that's the kind of social work that I was, that I would see growing up, you know social workers coming and helping families, and so I started doing that. And then my dad got sick and actually both both of my parents got sick same month, same year. Oh yeah, oh no. Yeah, yeah, we um. My mom had congestive heart failure, my dad had end stage kidney disease and he had was diagnosed with dementia. So it was a can of goodness that happened all at once.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh, how do you? I mean because it's hard enough when one parent is ill or needs help, but how do you do both of them?
Speaker 1:
Um, very badly. In the beginning I thought as a social worker I had all the tools that I needed to equip with the for the job. And the reality, mike, was that there was so much harder than I ever thought that it would be. You don't know what you don't know, so you know kind of like parenting, you don't. It doesn't come with a manual. Well, taking care of your parents doesn't either.
Speaker 2:
That either. Oh, wow, so, but now Did you. Are your folks still with us?
Speaker 1:
My mom is my dad passed For. It's going on four years ago. Okay but we, you know, I was able to take care of him till till the last days and he died peacefully at home that's.
Speaker 2:
That's the best we can hope for right absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:
And you know what I learned? My biggest lesson really was that being a caregiver Was a really lonely process it's. You're confused, you don't know what to do and then you really don't have anybody to navigate, help. You, you know, say, call this person, do this, look into that. So I I kind of made a promise to myself that, when all was said and done, that I would become that to other caregivers nice.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, because caregiving is it's not easy. And I don't I don't speak from a lot of experience. I mean I Was with my mom when she passed. I mean she was released to her home in Hospice and she had a hospice nurse, but she was on vacation. That hospice nurse was on vacation On the night that my mom decided to pass. So I mean, and I, I mean I knew we had the meds that we were supposed to administer, right, and I Didn't know how much. And I'm like, calling on the phone, I'm like she's calling up for my dad. She says she's dying. They're like that's normal, it's okay, you know, give her Cc's of this and she should calm down. And I'm like, okay, but yeah, it's. It's incredibly lonely and difficult when, when you're Now, do you have siblings or do we?
Speaker 1:
So I have a one older brother and and his wife and they were you know, it's especially his wife, you know very loving and care. And in fact in the beginning we split like you take care dad, I'll take care mom, like as far as Juggling all the doctor's appointments and things like that, because there was, yeah, there was a time that we were not being for in one day, so so we kind of split duties on on that.
Speaker 2:
Okay, well, that's nice.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah. So my mom got better and she's you know she's home. We live in the same neighborhood. My dad declined, so I ended up having to take care of his Dialysis. He refused to go to the dialysis center, so I had to learn how to do dialysis At home.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and that's. That's a big job. It was a lot of responsibility.
Speaker 2:
What does that involve?
Speaker 1:
even I mean, I know, what dialysis is, but yeah, so the kind that he had was called PD. The actual words are really long so I can't remember but they put. They put a port in the stomach area and you have this machine that does the dialysis all night. So at seven o'clock at night I would hook him up and then come back. He would go all night and then in the morning I would go and unhook him.
Speaker 1:
And as he progressed. There was times that I had to go Twice, you know like when I got off at work and when you know, before he went to bed.
Speaker 2:
So it's just, it just really got very time-consuming and wow, I, I did not even know you could do dialysis at home. So shows you what I know. So now is this is this what kind of drove you from just general social service work, social work, to taking care of our elderly? Was that kind of the driving force by taking care of your folks?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It was the thing where kind of I wanted to honor my dad in some way. And what a way to honor him through a living, breathing entity that just helps others. Sure he was a generous man in the world and would help anybody that needed it. So this is kind of a way to continue that. Yeah, and I learned firsthand how many people there are with no support system, no family members that are local and they're doing things by themselves, they're trying to figure it out and that's really hard.
Speaker 1:
So I think I'm you know, I'm able to help people with that type of scenario.
Speaker 2:
Sure, Do you find that? And basically I mean, you can talk to this better than I can, but your work is basically sending helpers into a home so that the senior person or the elderly person can continue to live in the home instead of going off to a facility somewhere, because they can do most things right. Is that, in a nutshell, what you do? I'm sure that's simplifying it, but yeah, but no, it is.
Speaker 1:
So. Studies have shown that being at home, aging in place, has better outcomes than not. Okay, so what we try to do is we try to help families keep their loved ones at home safely while they're able to continue with their lives. So I had to quit my job to take care of my family members.
Speaker 2:
Sure.
Speaker 1:
With our service we're able to help people kind of keep their lives going while still getting their parents the care that they need and they deserve.
Speaker 2:
We will be right back with my conversation with Irene Brooks after these messages from another Deluxe Edition Network member the Graveyard Club podcast. Are you looking for a place for all things horror and don't know where to go? Well, you've come to the right place, my friend. We had a Graveyard Club podcast for all your horror needs.
Speaker 1:
Visit us on YouTube and Spotify, and you can follow us over on Instagram at the Graveyard Club pod.
Speaker 2:
See you there. Ciao, yeah, because it's such a pride thing, isn't it, for older folks to be able to say, yep, I still live in my home, I'm in my castle, whatever they want to call it, and you guys make that possible, and that's so cool.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I know, go ahead.
Speaker 1:
We go one step further, because we know that sometimes being at home is not feasible. It no longer becomes safe, so we will help people navigate through finding an appropriate Place for them.
Speaker 2:
Oh.
Speaker 1:
Not all places are created equal. So you know you have all levels of care. What you mentioned. Your mom lived an independent living for yes for a while and so that's kind of like living in an apartment, but you have a whole bunch of folks and you know, you do stuff and you have fun and it's. It's a really nice thing to give you community. People need community. Absolutely but as you need more care, you may need round-the-clock Nursing care. Well, we can do that, we can provide that, but sometimes it may be cost prohibitive.
Speaker 1:
Oh sure so so you know we'll help you find the right place, because not every place is gonna be right for you.
Speaker 2:
Sure, yeah, yeah, that's. That's pretty cool. Okay, but now there's another element here and I'm. I read about it on your, on your website, and Now that I hear the story, I'm wondering you are you are also a Certified dementia care specialist. Is that correct? That's probably not the right term.
Speaker 1:
No, that's exactly what it is. It's a certified dementia practitioner and I do have a Certification to specifically work with people with dementia. You know, I learned from my dad that you know it's really hard to watch your loved one Kind of turn into a different person right in front of your eyes right you know you can have somebody who is the kindest, soft-spokenest person in the world and next thing you know they're calling you names, names that never came out of their mouths when right we're a kid.
Speaker 2:
No matter how much trouble you were in as a kid, they never said that.
Speaker 1:
That's exactly right. So it that's it's. It's so hard, but you learn different things. You learn how not to argue, you learn how to redirect, you learn how to kind of go with the flow. I remember making the mistake one time when my dad Would ask to talk to his mother and his brother who had passed, you know, 20, 30 years ago. Yeah, I thought that the right thing to do was to reorient them and say, hey, no, they're. They're no longer living. Well, the reality is is that they're gonna mourn that like if it just happened.
Speaker 1:
Right that's what happened. I was like, oh my gosh, I've made the worst mistake. So I made it a Mission to learn everything that I could about the right way to be with that person with dementia, but also save my sanity, because if you sit with somebody and they ask you to be beaten 17 times in a row, eventually you're gonna say, oh, I stop asking you, you know right. I help my clients Learn coping mechanisms to not say stop asking me.
Speaker 2:
Okay, so you're, you're teaching the family members, the caregivers, about dementia. Is that correct?
Speaker 1:
So, yes, so I work with the entire family. So my CNA is my nurse assistants Will go and they'll help the client with their activities of daily living. You know, bathing, eating, eating, toileting, that type of thing. But the person the adult child or the spouse, need support too. So that's where me being a social worker comes in and that extra help comes in. So I'll help them come up with coping mechanisms, different tricks, different things that they can do, as well as offer some respite time For them where they can go on vacation.
Speaker 2:
Sure, because, oh yeah, I and I've never I've never dealt with anybody with dementia. But, Geez, I wonder if I've told this story before listeners. I'm sorry if I have. My mom, prior to being diagnosed with congestive heart failure, was had a UTI and we probably never would have known, except on Easter day.
Speaker 2:
My brother called me up and he said have you talked to mom today? I like no, I haven't called her yet. I was going to but I hadn't. And he said she thinks dad's still alive. I'm like what she goes? Yeah, he said she can't find dad. So I was just like I'm like, okay, I got to hear this, for I called her up and I'm hey, happy Easter, mom, how are you? And? And she said I'm good, and we were just chatting and then, all of a sudden, out of the blue, she said I can't find your dad. Now this is 2015, my dad had passed in 1992. So I'm like, and I'm like we finished the conversation, lovely conversation, hung up, goodbye, and I reached out to everybody I know, and I have a friend who works for Boston scientific and.
Speaker 2:
I Wrote him and I said what do I do? How do I handle this? And he said whatever you do, don't tell her the truth.
Speaker 1:
Yep.
Speaker 2:
Long, long, long story, so I'm not gonna. But eventually I did have to tell her the truth In order to get her to go to the doctor. She refused to go. She absolutely refused to go and finally I said look, mom, something's wrong. You think dad's dead or dad's alive. He passed in 92, you know like 13 years ago or 23 years ago, and she kind of stopped and she looked down, she went. I knew that. I said so. Now you see why it probably could have gone horribly wrong, right, but I said so. Now you see why we have to go to the hospital because there's something wrong. And so, yeah, sorry if I've told that before.
Speaker 1:
No, I think that's a great illustration how it can go where they like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that. Or they can like really, it can be like that first moment that they found out Right. So I'm glad that it turned out well for you Well, and again, this was not dementia.
Speaker 2:
She did not. She was never diagnosed with dementia. It was just she was having UTI and apparently this can happen with those.
Speaker 1:
Yes, absolutely. That's usually one of the things when somebody calls and says that their family members acting weird or you know doing it say I'm like we need to get them checked for UTI.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah and it's so. I love the fact that this, your whole business, was born out of your care for your parents, and I'm sure you probably think of your clients I'm guessing that's what we call them clients.
Speaker 1:
Yes.
Speaker 2:
As just an extension of your parents.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, it's surprising how many people I'll see different things. I just left a client's house that the gentleman has the same same physical ailments as my dad and he walks like him. He can't see and you know it's, you know it's kind of like, oh my gosh. So I feel so, so close to to this family.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and so how do people get referred to you? Are there like children or spouses that say he or she needs more care than I can give him and I don't want to put him in a home, but I can't watch him all the time. Is that how?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, I'll get people that find me online, but the vast majority of people come to me through the hospitals, eds, where you know person has fallen or has had delirium due to UTIs or you know, are starting to exhibit behaviors, the case worker or the case manager rather will call me and say, hey, reach out to this family, they really need some help.
Speaker 2:
Nice. Nice now is is your care Covered by Medicare? My, I know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, generally not, I do so. It just always depends on the type of care that you're getting. There are some insurance companies that will cover a certain number of hours of care Long term care insurance, which a lot of people of the that age range that are coming to me now. They were able to afford long term care policies, but whatever this is they'll forget that they had it, and so I usually try to encourage.
Speaker 2:
Can you check the?
Speaker 1:
kids. Yeah, yeah, you can, so I'll tell them. Look at the papers and see you may have one. That will you know. Pay certain amount per day for care, for home care as well as being in a assisted living or long term care?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, I think one of the greatest things about what you do Kind of alleviates a problem that I think we see well throughout society, but especially in in older adults, is this issue with loneliness, and I know that there was a report Last year. I want to say and I don't remember who put it out National Institute to Health, cdc, surgeon General, maybe I don't remember, but basically it said that loneliness has become an epidemic in the United States and I think your service Really helps with that.
Speaker 1:
It really does. And you know, this is why I love my caregivers, because, just like the young lady that you spoke to the other day, you kind of have to be a caregiver. This is not a job that you say I'm gonna try on, you know, to see if I like it. It's it really you. It has to come from your heart and soul and the folks that I have. I remember I had this, this woman who was she was at the end of her life and it was the daughter's birthday. So my aides got together their own money, bought a birthday cake, a card and balloons for the daughter from the mom, because the mom was so sad that she couldn't get her daughter a gift. So they went and did oh, oh, like that was totally, totally. But they told me after Afterwards so it wasn't like they were saying, hey, can you give us the money, they just did it right, they just went out and did it.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, oh cool.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah. And that was so touching and you know, everybody had the feelings that it wasn't gonna be much longer. So they, they really wanted to give them a special Moment, some special time. And sure, the way the woman passed away, maybe about a week, a week and a half later, so this really was yeah. I think life-changing. You know, I mean Sure.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, the daughter will remember that for the rest of her life, for sure absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:
But you know, we have people, unfortunately, that don't have family clothes, so they'll. They won't have anybody Talking to them, they won't hear another human voice until our aid arrives to their home. Can you imagine going days and days Without? No hearing another human being no, I can't having anyone call your name like that's.
Speaker 2:
It makes me emotional just thinking about yeah, somebody just sitting in their house and and so how? And I'm sure it's probably it it's based on their needs. But how often on average Do one of your aides come to the home?
Speaker 1:
It really depends on the level of care. So we'll do some companionship care where the person's really up and active and they're able to do their own things, but they're they need a little bit of extra support. That can be three times a week, you know two to three times. Okay then we have some people that are higher level of care, that Are 24 hours a day, seven days old.
Speaker 2:
Okay, so you have somebody that see like what, three, three people a day in the house.
Speaker 1:
So it's yeah, so I have a couple of cases now that are 24-hour care and and it's usually split between four people, so that okay for people nobody gets burned out. I.
Speaker 2:
Was thinking three times eight, let's be 24, but okay, yeah, but yeah, I just so awesome and I I appreciate you so much, irene, for what you do, and I hope, I Hope, if I ever get to that stage, that that there's somebody like you in my Well, I'll have my wife. She doesn't know it yet. She can be my caregiver. She thinks she's gonna go first, but no, no, I mean just showing Kindness by by being there to our elderly, our senior citizens, and they're so cool, aren't they? They have so many stories.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, they're the best people and I love that. A lot of them have Overcome having a filter, so they will tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 2:
Whether you want to hear it or not.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, I get a kick out of that.
Speaker 2:
That's so fun. Well, I appreciate you and I'm so glad that you can take some time to be on the show with me today. I really, really appreciate it and that's a no place like home senior services. You're based out of Raleigh. You serve Caring Fuqua Verena.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so I do Wake County, johnston County and Harne County. That's my primary area.
Speaker 2:
Okay, if you know somebody who lives in those areas that could use a little extra help with their elderly family member, give her a call. All of your information will be in the show notes. Thank you so much, irene. I really do appreciate you coming on today.
Speaker 1:
Thank you, mike. I appreciate the time is great hanging out with you always Take care. Thanks, you too.
Speaker 2:
What a fantastic show, I think almost well. I mean, let's face it, all of us will probably be at some point in our lives where we will need a little extra help, and I only hope that there's somebody like Irene Brooks there to give us a hand, and Especially to our seniors, because Irene told me and we didn't get to it in the show, but she quoted a stat that just blew my mind. She said that Loneliness, persistent loneliness, is like smoking 15 packs of cigarettes a day to your body, and and that just blew my mind. So, thank heavens, or somebody like Irene Brooks out there and no place like home. And yeah, fantastic story, and I hope you enjoyed it, I hope you took away something from it, and that will do it for this episode of the kindness matters podcast.
Speaker 2:
We'll be back next week with another episode, but in the meantime, be that person who roots for others, who tells a stranger that they look amazing and Encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams. You've been listening to the kindness matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathman. Have a fantastic week.