3 Regrets From My Clients Who Retired Early

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Embark on an emotional ride with us as we unfold the often-unspoken truths of retirement, guided by candid confessions from those who've crossed the finish line. They share their journeys with a raw honesty that's as refreshing as it is rare. Learn why a fulfilling life might mean more than clocking extra hours for a promotion, and how meaningful connections can outweigh a bulging bank balance. It's a deep dive into the waters of work-life balance and personal happiness, where we explore the delicate interplay between financial security and the richness of relationships and personal satisfaction.

We also weave through the complexities of workplace contentment, narrated through the lens of an engineer who found wealth in the community, not just his paycheck. No guests this time—just pure, reflective storytelling that's sure to stir your thoughts and maybe even sway your priorities. As we wrap up, you're not just a listener; you're a participant. I invite you to shape our journey forward by sending your burning questions and curiosities for future episodes. It's not just a conversation; it's a collective exploration of what makes life before, during, and after retirement truly worthwhile.

Create Your Custom Early Retirement Strategy Here

Ari Taublieb, CFP ®, MBA is the Vice President of Root Financial Partners and a Fiduciary Financial Planner specializing in helping clients navigate the nuances of an early retirement.

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PS: Before anyone decides to move forward with our services, I want to ensure we're the best fit to help you reach your goals and I personally have the first conversation with you.

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

Today's episode is a special one and it's because I asked a lot of my clients. I said hey, what are some regrets that you have about your retirement? They go what do you mean? I go well, you retired now and there's a decision to retire now. Was that financial, was that emotional? What are you going through so far? The fact that you are retired?

Speaker 0: 0:17

A lot of people want to retire early, just like you. What are some things you wish you would have done? Some of them said there's really not that much. Others said you know what? Well, I really wish I would have done some of these things differently. And if you could pass this along to your listeners in any capacity, if I can help anyone else feel more confident about an early retirement, I'd be happy to share that. So they shared that with me and I get to come on and tell all of you guys about it. So I'm going to go through some of those regrets today so that you can go. Yeah, you know what. I'm going to think a little differently about my retirement. And if I'm five, 10 years out from retirement, here's what I'm going to start thinking through now. Or if you're one year out from retirement, here's what you're going to do to prepare for that next year. So I want to make sure that all of you are listening and are getting complete value from the show.

Speaker 0: 0:59

I am going to go over a recent review of the week and then we're going to hop right in. So this one comes from Jake84296. Ari covers topics that help me think what is needed to possibly retire early. Each week he has a great new topic of things that I would not have considered myself, which is why I listened to the show. Thank you, ari, for helping me consider all these things. I would not have considered to retire early successfully. You're very welcome. That's why I love doing the show. In my opinion, my job is not to say do all these things. It's say, hey, here are things to consider, here are things to not worry about. This is head trash. Here are some perspectives you may just have not have heard because you haven't retired yet.

Speaker 0: 1:40

So really, these are regrets from my clients. Everyone's got a unique story and I actually want to bring more of them onto the show. I've had other clients come on the show and hopefully you found those have been helpful. I want to do more of that. So what I'm going to do is start with a client story and then you're going to get the logic behind it. So I asked one of my clients, hey, what's the main regret? And their first thing that they said was I just wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily, meaning they were working so hard and we were talking about it at length and they went Ari, please, like I didn't really feel this until and they were trying to tell me like, hey, you need to focus on this as well. Like there's always going to be more emails, there's always going to be more tasks, there's always going to be more duties.

Speaker 0: 2:20

I stayed in a job too long because I was scared to tell my boss that I could quit because financially I was in a good spot. But I just I got a sense. I wasn't 100% sure that my boss wasn't in a good spot, so I wanted to almost stick it out for my boss, even though it was taking a burden on me. Now, I didn't even know my client to that degree, but they were really sharing some in-depth details and we were talking about it and a lot of you know the book Atomic Habits. But James Clear is the author and he says, hey, I really like, what are you optimizing for? He's bringing that up as a theme throughout the book because it's really easy to over optimize and I know personally I oftentimes really love what I do, so much so that my partner Alice goes hey, are we still on track for date night? Because we do date nights every Thursday and my clients are telling me, yeah, I want to retire to redate my spouse, and I wish I didn't wait to redate them. I wish I kind of kept it going. And sometimes it's really tough because we've got kids, so we've got other things moving around and I've got my job, and it's just, I don't get back too late, and so some of these things you can only do so much, but other times you really can go.

Speaker 0: 3:26

You know, what Am I really optimizing for? What my ideal life looks like? Not my bosses and this is what my client was sharing, which is they were really living their kind of bosses life, but not even in a traditional sense. They were simply going hey, I'm working because I like it, but really no, you know what Is I really think about it. I'm doing this so that my boss isn't overburdened, because I see what they're going through and I almost feel guilty that I'm in a financial spot to retire and I think they might not be. So they said, hey, I just wish I didn't work so hard during these years and put in some of those extra hours. I have another client who was like, hey, I'm really glad I did, but I'm glad I did it upfront so I could focus on family time during my late 40s, early 50s, and so want to make sure that there's not a right or wrong to this. It's just.

Speaker 0: 4:15

You know, if I were to ask you like, what are you optimizing for? What does your perfect day look like? Some of you go. You know I can't even answer that question because it's been so long since I've even debated that and I get a Saturday or a Sunday and all I am doing is thinking back on. You know what I have to do on Sunday, on Monday excuse me or on Tuesday, and the concept that every day I wouldn't have to do that like I can't comprehend that. Other people go. You know what? Yep, I understand there's going to be more projects and emails. I need to start thinking through this. This is the tough work. Adding more money to your 401k and your IRA and implementing Roth conversions yeah, important stuff. But that's all irrelevant if your taxes and finance are optimized and your life isn't.

Speaker 0: 4:55

So I don't know if you're anything like me, but what I find is, all of a sudden, it kind of goes through ebbs and flows where, hey, I'm doing really well, and then maybe you're more stressed out and then less, and then that routine starts to kind of go away. So let's assume and maybe none of you do this, but I know personally, I do this as well where I'm in a really good routine, I'm working out often, I'm really enjoying it, and then all of a sudden I go yeah, I'm going to kind of absolutely focus on getting all my medical appointments in order that I know I need to do, and then a month goes by, and then another month goes by and then I don't get to that and I'm going, hey, this is not the way to live, like I, health over everything. And if you have all the money in the world but you don't have a body that allows you to do all these things, well then, what good is that so? Really, why are you working so hard? What is your pursuit of financial independence for? Is it to get away from your boss? Is it to go? You know what? Nope, I'm actually pursuing financial independence because I want to do what I want to do.

Speaker 0: 5:52

For the first time, I never put myself first Why'd you buy the car that you bought? Why'd you buy the home that you bought? Now, some of those things might be very clear Made sense, family decision I like this car. Was it to impress people you don't really care about? And then finding that identity. You've built up this identity. It's really hard to change from that. So all of that, to summarize, this one client said hey, ari, I just wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily. The next client I spoke to this was a big one, I'd say definitely one of the larger ones where they said hey, I wish I personally had stayed in touch with my friends. I felt embarrassed to do so. It can vary.

Speaker 0: 6:30

Often for a lot of you, you're going hey, I'm not even worried about this at all, I'm gonna retire, I've got my family, I'm good to go, my community, let's do this. But a large majority of you are gonna retire and you're not gonna stay in touch with your coworkers, maybe because you feel bad reaching out to them, knowing that you're retired and they're still working. Or you're just saying, oh my gosh, I just kind of don't know the appropriate way to do this. So you don't contact them at all and then that community aspect starts to fall and you might go, try to find other communities and it might just not be the same as your work and so you're gonna kind of miss that portion. So really realizing the benefits of having friends. There's that show, the Blue Zone, on Netflix, where they talk about happiness and how to actually have fulfillment in retirement and it's not someone's equity allocation that does that. That helps them live their dream life.

Speaker 0: 7:21

But so many people get kind of caught up in the you know kind of the head trash of should I reach out? Should I wait for them to reach out? I don't wanna make it awkward and then you just never reach out and then that sense of community goes away. I know I personally have a lot of college friends and I speak with clients that go, yep, there's one or two friends I've kept in touch with, but yep, I see them if we have a mutual friends wedding, or I see them if they post their child on Facebook and we'll chat about it. And for some of you that's enough. For others of you you're gonna really miss it.

Speaker 0: 7:52

And so making sure you do have a plan for community. This is what this particular client. This particular client was single. They don't want their identity shared, but they were single. They don't have any children and they're going once I retire, like I don't love my job but I'm gonna miss the community because I have some coworkers that I really like, but that doesn't outweigh the fact that I don't enjoy my job. So I retired anyways, but I just wish I would have thought through that differently and not had worried about the awkwardness of their financial situation, which led me to not reach out to them.

Speaker 0: 8:21

So that was number two. And then finally, number three I wish I had let myself be happier. It does sound cliche, but happiness is a choice. I'm not an expert at this by any means. One of the videos I really like that comes from Sinmyer Sinmyer. We work very closely with Sin. She helps craft a lot of our retirement lifestyle coaching and practice along those lines. She does amazing work talking about how to actually create happiness and fulfillment and purpose and it is a decision.

Speaker 0: 8:51

So really, if I ask you, hey, what makes you happy? You might go well, I want to be with my child. Say great. How often do you get to do that? You go. Well, saturdays and some Sundays I go. How often is it just you and child time? And then you'll go. Yeah, you know what? Not that often because, like, we're with family or it's a group setting and I go. How often would you want it to be just one on one time? You go, well, you know, two, three times a week ideally, but that's just not realistic. We go what if it was? And then so it's going down that line because oftentimes and I know a lot of you will recognize this with your spouse or your partner or whoever it is, you're going to be able to go. Yeah, you know, that was a really fun experience and it's because we got to share it just one on one, and so that level of connection it's not the same if you're in a family group setting. I know personally with my partner, it's really fun being with her family, we're laughing a lot, but it's not that same connection.

Speaker 0: 9:41

And so when you're thinking about happiness or what's causing you to be unhappy, is it hey, I just wish I was paid more. This isn't fair and you could be upset about that or you could say you know what I'm in a good financial position. Yes, maybe I do deserve more, but that's. I'm not going to anchor myself to this number that I feel like I deserve. Instead, I'm going to see that I'm in a fine financial position and maybe I'm going to look for jobs that are actively going to pay me what I feel I'm worth, or I'm going to consider doing something on my own, or I'm going to consider, hey, you know what, what if I and this is a real story for my client the person that said, hey, I wish I'd let myself be happier, it was financial related. And they said, hey, I was only making and for some, people are going to hear this and go, hey, that's very fair wage, but they were only making about $175,000 a year, 190,000 all in with bonuses and they felt that as an engineer, they deserved a whole lot more. So they've got that engineer data brain. They just felt it was not fair for the work they were doing and they were upset and during our meetings I would see that he'd be visibly upset and I'd ask him why.

Speaker 0: 10:42

He said, well, other engineers are making more than me and it just feels like it's not fair and I don't know what I need to do and my boss isn't being kind of respective of hearing my concerns and so he's like I really feel like I should quit. So for like years he felt this instance to quit and then all of a sudden he was laid off and really quickly I said well, and this was years ago. But I said, hey, what would you do now If you could take any job? And he says I would take my job back and I would take it at half pay, meaning I just turns out, yes, I was kind of complaining about the pain, all these things, but while I was complaining I really wasn't considering the fact that I really enjoyed the community aspect and so kind of point number two is community.

Speaker 0: 11:24

Point number three here is I wish I let myself be happier. There's always going to be things at your workforce that are not going to be fun. The politics can be awful and sometimes that can outweigh all the other stuff, unlike this person who reached out, became a client and I see he visibly upset in these meetings and all of a sudden now he was going. You know what, I'm happy to take my job back at half pay when I was just upset before and he said well, I know everyone else got cut in pay and so I just I knew it wasn't I'm going to be, you know, laid off and all my coworkers get to stay on.

Speaker 0: 11:56

In his mind he was going well, I would feel better, and this is took some deep therapy on his part. He went to therapy because he was like I really just hated the idea that someone right next to me was making a whole Lot more but I was doing the same thing. I said, hey, I'd be equally frustrated. Here's kind of why you're in a good spot, why, although that's happening, this is okay, here are your options. You take another job. It pays a whole lot less. We explored those. He really loved the community, so there were some things that ticked him the wrong way at his employer. At the same time he's like, hey, I really did love the flexibility. They did give me some more hours. If I took a roll over here and wouldn't be 190 all in it would have been closer to 200, but my hours commute and overall, like happiness level would have decreased. That that 10000 wouldn't have been worth it.

Speaker 0: 12:38

So a lot of clients are saying, hey, you know what? I just wish I would have let myself be happier. I wish I stayed in touch with my friends. I wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily. None of this should make you do something or not do something.

Speaker 0: 12:51

These are just stories I want to tell you from real clients that are retiring early going. Hey I. If you could tell your clients anything yes, I do. After separate episodes on, I wish I didn't buy the annuity or I wish I would have implemented this conversion earlier, but the real stuff that's gonna make you feel like you had a really good earlier retirement is this stuff here, which is much more difficult to think about because the finances. Let us kind of go out of our brain for a second, go yep, let's talk about the numbers, and then we have to come back to real life and go okay, what do I really want?

Speaker 0: 13:19

So a quicker episode, quicker podcast. I want to make these as helpful as I possibly can, but sometimes I'll ask my client these questions and I just want to share their responses with you. So hopefully this is helpful. If so, I know I don't get to work with all of you Please do drop a comment on YouTube or leave a review on iTunes if this has been helpful for you at any sense and if this made you think 1% differently about your retirement, shoot me an email at ariai at root, financial partners, calm. I love getting to hear from all of you. So thank you, guys, love you.

Speaker 0: 13:51

Thank you for listening to another episode of the early retirement show. If you have a question that you want answered in a future episode, you can always go to my website, early retirement podcast Com. That's early retirement Podcast, calm, and you can go ahead and submit a question that I'll look to answer in a future episode. Thank you all for listening. Please do rate it, review it and share it with someone who you think would benefit from this information. If there's anyone out there that you know, I certainly appreciate it and I will see you all each week. Hey guys, it's me again. Please be smart about this. Nothing in this podcast should be construed as financial, tax or legal advice. Consult with your tax preparer or financial advisor before taking any action. This podcast is for informational purposes only. You