with guest Terri Trespicio

Terri Trespicio is an award-winning writer, speaker, brand advisor, and the author Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You.

Terri Trespicio is an award-winning writer, speaker, brand advisor, and author of Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You (Atria/Simon & Schuster, December 2021). Her TEDx talk, “Stop Searching for Your Passion,” has surpassed 7.5 million views, and Hubspot named her one of the “Top 18 female speakers who are killing it.” A former magazine editor and radio host at Martha Stewart, she has appeared on the Today show, The Early Show, The Martha Stewart Show and The Anderson Cooper Show and featured in  Oprah magazine, Marie Claire, Prevention, Business Insider, Forbes.com, and Inc.com.  A top-rated speaker, she has also performed stand-up all over New York City. She earned her MFA in creative writing from Emerson College and lives in Manhattan.


Website: territrespicio.com

Opt-in page: territrespicio.com/getit

Twitter @TerriT: https://twitter.com/territ

FB (public): https://www.facebook.com/TerriTrespicio/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/territrespicio/

Instagram @ttrespicio https://www.instagram.com/ttrespicio/

TEDx Talk, “Stop Searching for Your Passion”

TEDx talk, “Time to Rethink Happily Ever After” 

Joe Bukartek empowers people to live intentionally. As host of the podcast, Intentionally Ever After [www.IntentionallyEverAfter.com], Joe is an ultramarathon runner and pickleball enthusiast, living at the beach with his family as part of his own curated intentional lifestyle.

As a board certified Intentional Lifestyle Coach, Joe helps individuals to have lives and careers that are wildly more fulfilling. Ready to curate a life of intention? Connect with Joe on his website [www.joebukartek.com] or LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/joebukartek/.]

Joe also helps emerging adults build lifelong success beyond the nest in his specialized program, Intention to Launch. This results-driven partnership guides participants as they prepare to leave home and discover their ideal lives. Ready to launch? Check out [www.IntentionToLaunch.com]

If you would like to have your own intentional conversation with Joe, either on or off the air, visit https://www.joebukartek.com/contact

Check out more episodes at intentionallyeverafter.com

Transcript

00:00:05:07 - 00:00:14:09
Terri Trespicio
Passion is not an Easter egg that you're going to find tucked under a tree out there. It is. It is what you are already capable of.

00:00:14:20 - 00:00:29:10
.
This is intentionally ever after. Join Intentional Lifestyle coach Joe Brokercheck for a series of personal conversations and coaching sessions with various people about how living with intention shows up for them.

00:00:31:12 - 00:00:47:01
Joe Bukartek
Greetings everyone, and welcome to another episode of Intentionally Ever after the Day. I am very excited to be meeting and chatting with the great Terry Pospisil here. Thank you for joining me.

00:00:47:09 - 00:00:50:19
Terri Trespicio
Thank you. You got your nailed the name. You really nailed.

00:00:50:19 - 00:00:56:07
Joe Bukartek
It. You know, I know that it's a name that can be mispronounced. You know, it looks straight forward.

00:00:56:07 - 00:00:57:02
Terri Trespicio
I don't you know.

00:00:57:18 - 00:01:02:18
Joe Bukartek
I did that. I'm glad I nailed it, though. Terry, will you kindly introduce yourself for folks?

00:01:03:06 - 00:01:39:18
Terri Trespicio
So here I am and have been for years a brand advisor, a professional speaker, and more recently, the author of a book called Unfollow Your Passion How to Create a Life That Matters to You and I the Way I think about it, everyone's business when you have one, can evolve and change over time. And the way I talk about my work now is that I help people who feel stuck, stagnant and thinking they want to do something more, to find their voice, unlock their creative genius so they can do work that matters to them and to other people.

00:01:40:02 - 00:01:56:08
Terri Trespicio
Whether that's writing, speaking, running their thing, being on YouTube, it doesn't matter. The asset doesn't matter. But the process of helping someone access that so they can do fulfilling work. That is my jam.

00:01:56:08 - 00:02:07:16
Joe Bukartek
So I'm very thank you for sharing that. I, I imagine passion comes up a lot right in that in that kind of discussion. Right. Because of course I want to do this that you're saying but passion that's got to be linked, right?

00:02:08:20 - 00:02:36:09
Terri Trespicio
Yeah. No, I mean, I have had a bit of a contrarian view of passion for a long time. I, I guess it always sort of bothered me. But then it really crystallized when I had the opportunity to give a TED talk at, you know, a 2015. Okay, so a couple of years now. But when I was invited to give a TED talk, there was a spot and I didn't know I was going to get like it came up and the guy was like, okay, you know, I threw my hat in the ring and said, I'd love to give one.

00:02:37:09 - 00:02:54:12
Terri Trespicio
Do you have a topic? I have a couple ideas. I didn't have a talk to pitch. It wasn't even in my mind, but I had always wanted to give a TED talk. So he said, What? What do you think? And I said, I'll tell you what really gets on my nerves when people tell you that you have to find your passion and follow it and everything will work out.

00:02:54:23 - 00:03:17:04
Terri Trespicio
So that sounds great, but that has never helped me navigate my own life or career. And so it's not that I don't think passion is important. I, I tap into my own passion daily. I feel lucky that I can do that. But what I have a problem with is the idea that you have to know what it is to start anything.

00:03:17:18 - 00:03:35:16
Terri Trespicio
Because waiting till you find your perfect passion or figure out what that is, I couldn't figure out what it is yet. Do you, though, because I don't think it's out there. I think it's from inside. And this idea that I'm going to put my life on hold, I find my passion or I'm just going to keep searching for it is a nightmare.

00:03:35:17 - 00:03:55:10
Terri Trespicio
And I gave a TED talk called Stop Searching for Your Passion, which has nearly 8 million views, which is more people seeing that than literally anything else I've ever done. And so I know that that hit home, Joe, for that reason, because it is not because everyone's like, Oh, I shouldn't follow mine. No, because most of us are.

00:03:55:16 - 00:04:02:06
Terri Trespicio
We're standing there at an intersection going, I don't know, am I supposed to know? And I say, No, you don't have to know.

00:04:02:23 - 00:04:07:15
Joe Bukartek
Yeah. So it's not necessary. In fact, it probably stands in the way, right, is what it sounds.

00:04:07:15 - 00:04:25:11
Terri Trespicio
The search, the idea that I must know something that I have to know something first in order to be successful, or that I'm meant to do only one thing. I think those are very binary and linear, like linear approaches to a life that is multi-dimensional and should be.

00:04:26:01 - 00:04:36:12
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, Yeah. So that it's not that you might not happen to achieve, you know, your passion or realize that it's there, that that shouldn't be part of the roadmap at all.

00:04:37:00 - 00:05:01:00
Terri Trespicio
No, you tap into it. Passion is not an Easter egg that you're going to find tucked under a tree out there. It is. It is what you are already capable of because it's not. And I don't believe passion makes us unique because there's not a human being who wouldn't love that feeling, doesn't love that feeling of being fully focused and engaged and doing something that draws on their skills.

00:05:01:00 - 00:05:17:22
Terri Trespicio
Talent keeps them learning, curious, all of those things. Of course we want it. So it's not one thing. It's the power in you. And how many ways can you tap it where you're not a bedroom lamp? It sound like you only work in the bedroom. I hate to plug you in there. No, I'm a lamp. I can plug in.

00:05:17:22 - 00:05:29:13
Terri Trespicio
Plug me in anywhere. Light will happen. And that's kind of what I want people to see because it gives people more options and helps them see their lives in a less rigid or fixed way.

00:05:30:10 - 00:05:42:16
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, that's spectacular. So you sound very passionate when speaking What what is what is passion? How does it play a role in your life?

00:05:43:11 - 00:06:07:08
Terri Trespicio
I, I don't wait for it. I bring it. It's so the example I always use is board games. Have you ever been with a group of people and you're like, Let's play taboo or Let's do this? And a group of people who may not have a lot in common or don't even know each other that well can get close very quickly playing a board game because it is fictional made up thing.

00:06:07:08 - 00:06:29:13
Terri Trespicio
But there's also a set of rules and there's goals and there's all the things. And then what happens when you know the rules and you're going to play? It's exciting. It's fun. You get If you were to watch a group, people really involved in a board game, they certainly look passionate. They sound passionate. Did anyone come into the house going, Hi, I'm really passionate about board game, so I need to do that tonight?

00:06:29:16 - 00:06:50:13
Terri Trespicio
No, of course not. Activities, engagement, people, the opportunity to contribute to make to think these are the things that everything out there is like a match and it can in it like or wait now I have it backwards. I am the match. You are the match. And we can strike ourselves against lots of different services and get a flame.

00:06:51:06 - 00:07:08:03
Terri Trespicio
That's what I think of is it's like, All right, what are we doing? And I'll give you an example. Part of what I help people do now to access what they want to. You know, I'm not so set on like, what do you want to do? Is it a podcast? Is a book. Assets come later. But what is it you want to be involved in doing now?

00:07:08:03 - 00:07:31:06
Terri Trespicio
Because it's the making that's exciting. What are you wanting to say or to do? That part's really fun, but when we think about I have to know what that is, then we're putting way too much emphasis on the control part and what I think I'll be good at. Then the ego gets involved. But hang on what I say.

00:07:31:06 - 00:07:55:15
Terri Trespicio
I was going to give you an example of Back up, back up. What was I just saying? I had it in my pocket and then it slipped out. I said, I want to give you hang on a second. I'll give you an example of what was that? So talking about, what did you ask me? Maybe it was something you well know.

00:07:55:15 - 00:08:02:02
Joe Bukartek
It wasn't what I asked you. I think you're talking about you. You were talking about the match metaphor and bringing it. Bringing the passion.

00:08:02:04 - 00:08:29:15
Terri Trespicio
Oh, okay. Got it. Thank you. Yeah. So pick up from here. Producer. Here's an example. The process. I used to help people access ideas is the same process I use when I'm helping a company, an organization, an individual, figure out what their brand messages. And part of my living is working as a brand advisor. I'm hired by companies and groups.

00:08:29:15 - 00:08:49:09
Terri Trespicio
I team up with designers to help articulate the messaging and you think, Well, brand advisor, and then she's also help. What do they have to do in common? They have one thing in common, which is what does it mean? What is the meaning of this thing is not what should our brand be? Should it be pink or blue or should it have stripes?

00:08:49:16 - 00:09:11:07
Terri Trespicio
It's all about that. Yes, that's part of it. But none of the choices you can make creatively for anything matter if they don't mean something. And so what I realized, you know, I started my career as a writer, as an editor, copywriter. I can write just about anything. But the thing that was most fun to write was when I could use my writing chops to draw meaning out of something.

00:09:11:20 - 00:09:39:23
Terri Trespicio
And what what was freeing for me was when I realized it didn't matter what it was. I spoke at a financial services event. Someone invited me to speak at this event. I really think about that. But they said these are business owners. They need to know about branding. So I did just like I was their closing keynote. I did a talk about how I see branding, which obviously is informed by this whole perspective, and advisors started to hire me and I kept getting invited back.

00:09:39:23 - 00:09:57:09
Terri Trespicio
So I if you keep dancing in front of people for a long time, they just kind of hire you after a while. And so I was having these wonderful opportunities to work with an industry I knew nothing about, had no interest, zero passion, zero passion in the financial services industry. Guess what? Doesn't matter. What I found was fun.

00:09:57:09 - 00:10:12:00
Terri Trespicio
First, I was intimidated because I thought, what if? What if I don't know, stuff that they think I should know? I go, I'm not supposed to know anything. They're not hiring me because I know their business. They know their business. What I'm being hired to do is what I do, which is tell me what you're trying to do, who you trying to talk to?

00:10:12:02 - 00:10:47:12
Terri Trespicio
Why are you having trouble communicating that? It's the same thing. But I got excited and passionate about it because I was helping them do a thing that I could do. So I've done financial services firms many times, but I've also done it for t shirt companies and I've done it for nonprofits. And I realize what the freedom is, is realizing I don't have to niche ify, I don't have to pick a lane, I just have to have the sharpest possible tool that I can fashion so that no matter where I am, I could do what I do best.

00:10:48:07 - 00:11:08:20
Terri Trespicio
And I found that no one cares and I'll and I was afraid to appear ignorant and I realized that's my job. And I'll say, Bob, explain to me what you're trying to do. Trying to sell nuclear energy to bank loan officers. Literally, I was like, I don't understand it. Tell me, because I'm ignorant, but I'm not stupid. So if you can't explain it to me, I'm going to help you explain it.

00:11:09:00 - 00:11:25:05
Terri Trespicio
You got to tell me what you're trying to do. And then I realized, Holy cow, you can do that anywhere. So it's not just me. I'm not unique in that way. But you, Joe, can help lots of people, and someone else can do lots of different things. I think we think we have to pick one. And I don't like to pick one.

00:11:25:05 - 00:11:29:02
Terri Trespicio
I'm a Libra. Yeah, I like to hang out in the middle somewhere.

00:11:29:02 - 00:11:39:04
Joe Bukartek
I love that. There's so many things I love about that. You don't have to be limited by not being an expert at any one area. In fact, that's your strength.

00:11:39:04 - 00:11:41:07
Terri Trespicio
Yes, right. Ignorance is my that's.

00:11:42:00 - 00:11:56:16
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, I love it. Embrace the ignorance. Right. Because you are coming in because these people are all in up in their heads. They're in their day to day business. Right. But you come in knowing maybe nothing very little to nothing about it. What a great place to start.

00:11:57:04 - 00:12:14:13
Terri Trespicio
Because they know too much. They go, We're trying to do this. Why isn't working? I said, Because you understand how someone else coming in doesn't know what you know. So it's kind of like they're blurred in the curse of knowledge and I have the gift of ignorance. So I say, Wait, I don't know what you just meant there when you said that.

00:12:14:13 - 00:12:35:14
Terri Trespicio
I don't if that means. Oh, you don't know. No. And if I don't get it, no one will get it. So I am the ultimate filter for. Does this make sense? Does it mean something? And that, you know, that has been really useful to me and I am extremely passionate using it and I don't care what for unless it crosses my moral my moral boundaries, of course.

00:12:35:18 - 00:12:42:05
Joe Bukartek
But I know that you'll notice that naturally. Right? You don't have to worry about that. Right? You're pretty, you know, connected with it.

00:12:42:05 - 00:13:12:12
Terri Trespicio
Yeah. That's why my friends in advertising are also miserable. These brilliant people who work on Madison have, like, these big advertising firms in Manhattan, and I see them coming out pretty depressed. Not all, but a lot of them. Yeah, they are cynical, down, critical because yes, you think, oh, how cool to make ads for this or that, but try applying those skills to some things that you don't agree with or don't love or that are only to make someone money.

00:13:13:19 - 00:13:19:09
Terri Trespicio
And I realize because I always thought maybe I would have liked advertising, I'm like, you know what? Maybe I wouldn't have.

00:13:19:09 - 00:13:25:02
Joe Bukartek
Well, it sounds like from your perspective, they're having to constantly negotiate with their own personal values.

00:13:25:02 - 00:13:44:09
Terri Trespicio
Yes, that's hard. And I'm lucky to be in a position and have worked hard enough that I don't have to take whatever comes along If I don't like the thing or I don't like the person. I mean, that's that's really I tell people who are starting to run their own thing or just a side hustle, whatever The real mark of success is.

00:13:44:09 - 00:14:08:02
Terri Trespicio
Not that someone that you get someone to pay money for something. The real success is when you can turn money away. Yeah, when you can say, Nope, let it go. And that to me is real power. My uncle, years ago when I was young, he said it jokingly, but he said, Terry, don't be a desperate woman. And I was like, Never, like, never be a desperate person, let alone a woman.

00:14:08:02 - 00:14:11:08
Terri Trespicio
But he was he was joking. But of course, I think it's a no.

00:14:11:08 - 00:14:21:15
Joe Bukartek
No, no. I think it's great to embrace the freedom to not have to compromise on your values. That's that's a great that's that's a hashtag goals.

00:14:21:15 - 00:14:42:08
Terri Trespicio
Right? Because I know if you are you know if you are very strict on a certain line and yet you have an opportunity to do work that Now here's the careful line though, because someone might go well I'm really passionate about health and wellness and I want to be a sales copywriter for for health coaches and for people and hospitals.

00:14:42:18 - 00:15:00:21
Terri Trespicio
Cool. That's great. What if you hit a dry spot, which happens, you know, a dry phase and you get a gig to write copy for Godiva chocolates, which, by the way, is what happened to me. I was psyched about it, though. I was like, Hey, you want to write copy for Godiva? I can't do this gig. I'm like, I'll take that gig.

00:15:01:12 - 00:15:20:16
Terri Trespicio
But if you're like, But I don't know if I can because, you know, chocolate is a I am not into high horses. I am not into thinking being precious really about any of it. And when you need to make money, you need to make money. That is, you know, I'm not pushing a million things away every day trust.

00:15:21:06 - 00:15:44:18
Terri Trespicio
But I think it bears considering. Is it going to be hard for you to do, say, politics if you have one set of politics and now you're being invited to write for the other? You know, I mean, say what you will. Fox News is filled with very progressive liberal New York, like Manhattanite producers and writers who need to make a living and wanted on the resume that they did that work, but they don't believe in it.

00:15:44:18 - 00:15:45:17
Terri Trespicio
I don't think that's easy.

00:15:46:21 - 00:15:59:08
Joe Bukartek
No, no. And many people feel like they have to do it or that's that's the compromise they're willing to make. But it sounds like you're very clear about feeling like you don't have to make compromises or you shouldn't have to make.

00:15:59:09 - 00:16:15:06
Terri Trespicio
I've worked hard so I don't have to do so that I don't have to do something that makes me feel bad about myself because I've been there where I was taking money from people who literally were emotionally abusive made me feel terrible. And I was like, But I can't let go of that money. What am I going to do?

00:16:15:06 - 00:16:41:17
Terri Trespicio
I can't. Sure. And then I did. And a friend of mine said, her name is Elise Bannon. She's amazing. And she was like, You don't have to make a big deal of this. She said, You just have to replace that client. Replace them. But how? How the how No one knows how. But you better believe I did and more than doubled what I was bringing in a year after I stopped clinging to this horrible money from a bad situation.

00:16:43:03 - 00:16:50:15
Joe Bukartek
That's that's a great, powerful reframe that she was able to give you. Right. That you weren't, like, stuck. It's like it's either all of this or it's I got nothing.

00:16:51:01 - 00:16:52:12
Terri Trespicio
Well, right. I was being very just.

00:16:52:20 - 00:17:07:17
Joe Bukartek
Too Well, sure, But we all have a tendency to do that, right, because we feel like something is really off. And so, of course, the drama is there, right? We've been fed the drama. We know what drama sounds like or this is the situation. This is dramatic. I think we have a natural tendency to do that.

00:17:08:02 - 00:17:15:05
Terri Trespicio
I turned into like Game of Thrones and she was like, this is a transactional situation next. And that's what I.

00:17:15:05 - 00:17:16:05
Joe Bukartek
Like to see. Popular with.

00:17:16:05 - 00:17:36:17
Terri Trespicio
Her. That's what I like to take with me from her is All right. And next, what are we dealing with next? Yeah, I think that we'll always all have something we're dealing with. The goal is never a life with no problems. Show me Anyone with life? No, with no problems. It's called Pick your problem. What problem do you want?

00:17:36:17 - 00:17:38:13
Terri Trespicio
You want problems that you want to solve?

00:17:39:00 - 00:17:39:12
Joe Bukartek
Yes.

00:17:39:21 - 00:17:42:07
Terri Trespicio
The problem isn't that we have problems. Is that we have the wrong problems.

00:17:43:02 - 00:17:46:10
Joe Bukartek
Yeah. Yeah. And people maybe aren't choosing.

00:17:46:10 - 00:17:47:18
Terri Trespicio
No, they're going to. These are my problems.

00:17:48:03 - 00:17:48:13
Joe Bukartek
I guess.

00:17:48:15 - 00:17:50:10
Terri Trespicio
Level up have better problems.

00:17:51:17 - 00:17:57:10
Joe Bukartek
I love that. All right. Since I'm not sure how close I can get to a natural transition, I'm going to say.

00:17:57:15 - 00:18:00:10
Terri Trespicio
But you didn't ask me the question you ask everyone and I'm. Don't answer.

00:18:00:10 - 00:18:14:00
Joe Bukartek
I know, I know. And it you've given me such good answers. I want to keep going with them and I will ask you, Terry, what does it mean to live intentionally?

00:18:14:00 - 00:18:38:10
Terri Trespicio
I would have answered this a few years ago, probably saying it means to do everything on purpose. And I think that gives the cognitive mind a little too much credit because I don't think that we we can intend to do things. As I say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. We can mean to do things.

00:18:38:10 - 00:18:58:08
Terri Trespicio
Anyone can have intentions. I don't think intentions are are the thing as much as are they yours and are they things you actually want rather than. I intend to write a book even though I hate writing or something. You know, I think it's not so much doing everything on purpose because I think a lot of things happen by chance and discovery.

00:18:58:14 - 00:19:20:17
Terri Trespicio
I think it might mean doing as much as you can with purpose so that I'm doing something because I mean to do it. There's a lot of things I don't mean. Over the holidays I snapped at my mother. I've lost things. Oh, I lost this earring. Or did the while do the things that we do? We don't intend to do.

00:19:21:03 - 00:19:43:23
Terri Trespicio
A lot of times, as you know, we get attached to an outcome like when people are like, Oh, I visualize the outcome. I do a little bit, but not, you know, not totally. I like to keep things a little bit unknown. Even when I go to give a talk and I go to give a keynote a 45 minute talk, I plan 80, 85%.

00:19:44:15 - 00:20:01:10
Terri Trespicio
And then I always leave a little wiggle room because I don't know what's going to happen. It's my intention to be entertaining and informative, but it's not my intention to get things right all the time. That is a recipe for that's a recipe for a nightmare because I cannot be perfect, you know?

00:20:02:00 - 00:20:07:05
Joe Bukartek
Mm. Well, yeah. And if you said that is your, is your goal to be perfect or to have everything planned.

00:20:07:05 - 00:20:09:19
Terri Trespicio
Out and I intend to be perfect then to.

00:20:10:05 - 00:20:10:14
Joe Bukartek
Fail.

00:20:11:05 - 00:20:38:20
Terri Trespicio
How about I intend to be as prepared as I can be and to roll with the rest. That's what I try to do because I am an anxious person at the root. And so I try. My mother's tried my entire life to get me to just roll with stuff, and it has been incredibly freeing to unattached or uncouple myself from an outcome and uncouple myself from what that outcome even means so that I can go, okay, well, I guess we're not doing that.

00:20:39:13 - 00:20:40:17
Terri Trespicio
I guess that isn't happening.

00:20:41:15 - 00:20:58:14
Joe Bukartek
Yeah. Oh, well, okay, let's lock in. I'm curious now. I love this. So let's let's lock in a little bit. It seems like and maybe this is just for presentations, but I have a sense that maybe it's not You lock into kind of an 80, 80% approach. You leave the room for the wiggle room for comfort, magic.

00:20:58:20 - 00:20:59:13
Terri Trespicio
Little magic.

00:21:00:01 - 00:21:11:12
Joe Bukartek
But that sounds very formulaic, not not overly prescriptive, not rigid, but it sounds like an intentional approach. Is that would you say it is? You view your life that way as well?

00:21:11:17 - 00:21:35:14
Terri Trespicio
Yes. I mean, I was a total nerd. I was a straight-A student. If I didn't get an A, I needed to know why. Like, I just was the ideal, you know, law abiding homework doing kid my entire life. And so I do the homework because I don't want to go in unprepared. And yet what I found is most freeing in whatever I'm doing client work.

00:21:35:14 - 00:22:00:03
Terri Trespicio
I lead lots of workshops and programs, and I'm realizing that. And I think this has to do with getting older, too, and having been doing this a little bit longer, But I think there's a little bit more excite ment in not being formulaic. Even up until recently I would for workshop have a set of slides where you go through these slides and little by little I've been like, I'm weighed down by this like who cares?

00:22:00:08 - 00:22:23:03
Terri Trespicio
No one walks away from an experience with me in a workshop or program and goes, You know, I don't know about her, but damn, those slides are so good. I just love the slides. That's a failure. That's a win for graphic design and a failure for you as a presenter. And so I've started to I started to do a little bit of a high wire act where I go in without knowing totally.

00:22:23:19 - 00:22:40:04
Terri Trespicio
And what this is requiring of me is that I trust myself and then I stay tuned into intuition. I'm not saying I fly, I just go in flailing. But I found that like when I start, I said, You know what? Screw it. I'm not going to use slides for this. How about I just talk to just talk to them?

00:22:40:20 - 00:23:00:13
Terri Trespicio
And the more I do that, the better it gets. I think the metaphor I'll use for the visual metaphor, because I'm sure there's few people who don't know. This is the movie Forrest Gump. When he's hobbling around with his leg braces on, they are what he needs to get around. He's kind of like rigidly walking and then he starts running and running.

00:23:00:17 - 00:23:28:22
Terri Trespicio
And as he runs, those braces just bust off and the screws go flying everywhere and he's running. That's where we start. Of course, you're going to pack up all your leg braces, get yourself all screwed in tight and perfect. But as you start running and finding your rhythm, you don't need it anymore. A lot of what we think is important is scaffolding, and you don't need it once you've built the thing.

00:23:28:22 - 00:23:31:08
Joe Bukartek
You don't need it. Once you've built the thing. Yeah.

00:23:31:22 - 00:23:35:03
Terri Trespicio
But built the thing. Meaning built the trust, built the expertise, built that.

00:23:35:03 - 00:23:43:03
Joe Bukartek
Sure. No way. You know, it sounds like a connection point, right? Once you've connected with the goal, the material, the whatever you've.

00:23:44:21 - 00:24:00:20
Terri Trespicio
Got and all that, I know that's the truth. Because I started to feel hemmed in by my preparation. I go, Oh, I'm going to write up what I do. And then I start being like, What if I don't? What if I write this whole thing? Maybe it's too much. I'm telling them too much. Why don't I shut up and let the workshop happen?

00:24:01:02 - 00:24:25:00
Terri Trespicio
Why don't I do less prep and be there more? Because preparation and over preparation, I don't even know if that's a real thing. Is being locked on to how you thought it should go. And it's never going to be as vital or as important as being there in the moment. And so that has allowed me to unleash a kind of passion because I'm not feeling as strapped in.

00:24:25:00 - 00:24:42:04
Terri Trespicio
Like I wrote a few notes for us today and I'm looking at them now and it's paragraphs. I was going to explain to you about what I think the unconscious mind versus the subconscious mind and why. I don't think everything's intentional necessarily and that it's logical and notable. And I'm like, That's fine. I need to go there. I did that for me.

00:24:43:11 - 00:24:54:13
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, well, also, that is it can serve a different purpose as well. But you're not limited by that preparation that you did, right? Preparation. This allows you to be a lot more total.

00:24:55:05 - 00:25:06:12
Terri Trespicio
Preparation really can for you, for people who memorize talks in their free or because they know it. But preparation can also hinder you because it makes you think you don't trust yourself in the moment.

00:25:08:02 - 00:25:37:15
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, right. Okay. So there's there's very much this, this theme of openness and in showing up as you are ready to go, ready to connect and respond with your environment, the people around you because that that sounds like that's where the the real Mrs. or yeah that's where the the the money is what do you still insist upon whether it's whether it's professional and I'm going to pull more towards the personal as well like day to day.

00:25:38:14 - 00:25:44:19
Joe Bukartek
What do you insist upon regardless of the come what may attitude or not.

00:25:44:19 - 00:25:47:09
Terri Trespicio
You mean not when I'm presenting. You mean in my life?

00:25:47:21 - 00:25:48:09
Joe Bukartek
I do.

00:25:48:12 - 00:25:49:18
Terri Trespicio
I do in my life.

00:25:50:10 - 00:25:50:15
Joe Bukartek
Mm hmm.

00:25:51:03 - 00:26:12:20
Terri Trespicio
Oh, I insist on my mornings to be the same. It doesn't matter what day of the week it is. I get about it, basically. At the same time, I'm going to make my coffee the same way I'm going to sit in the same spot. I might change habits over time in terms of what I do with that time, but those first few hours of the day are critical.

00:26:13:03 - 00:26:30:22
Terri Trespicio
They are when you do your best thinking for me, maybe not ever. Maybe some people do their best thinking at 2 a.m.. I'm sure there are many of those too, but I know that as the day goes on, I wear thin like a threadbare tire and I have no grip on the road anymore until evening and I come back up again.

00:26:31:01 - 00:26:53:12
Terri Trespicio
So I insist on being allowed to manage my energy in a way that will most benefit whatever work has to get done that day. So and I insist on the downtime too. So I insist on being focused, you know, like my boyfriend, like, Well, what are you doing Saturday morning? I'm like, I'm doing what I always do unless it's a reception and there's something we're doing.

00:26:53:19 - 00:27:02:00
Terri Trespicio
That's what I'm doing. And then I can start the rest of the day at like 11, you know? But that first part is mine.

00:27:02:00 - 00:27:03:20
Joe Bukartek
And that sets you up for.

00:27:04:03 - 00:27:04:04
Terri Trespicio
The.

00:27:04:22 - 00:27:05:14
Joe Bukartek
Rest of your life.

00:27:05:18 - 00:27:24:12
Terri Trespicio
It feels like you've got some roots down like and I'd be tempted to to like, check this, do that. Then I go, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I have to keep reminding myself, What are we doing now? This is the money time. This is the most valuable, highest value. It's expensive this time. If you're your own client, what are you going to spend this time on?

00:27:24:19 - 00:27:43:02
Terri Trespicio
And I was actually thinking, should I spend it on the client thing or should I spend it on my thing right now? And I was like, Do yours first? You know, if you don't do your stuff first, it will not get done. So I said, focus on this now. And if I have applied a couple hours in the morning of really clear, deep thinking the rest of the day are what?

00:27:43:08 - 00:28:11:07
Terri Trespicio
Meetings, laundry, life, errands, food. I also insist, except for rare exception, that I do not do anything productive between probably three and five or two and four. It depends on the day those forget it. I can't be my best for you. I have probably now worked all morning and good part of the early afternoon and I'm going to need I'm going to need a minute.

00:28:12:02 - 00:28:29:16
Terri Trespicio
And so I sometimes will just lie down. I'm like, naps are non-negotiable. I am a pro fashionable napper. Yeah, I can hit REM faster than you can say it, and I will pop back out of it and start working right away. That is a gift I know and a skill that I have worked on my whole life.

00:28:29:16 - 00:28:30:15
Joe Bukartek
That's a superpower.

00:28:30:17 - 00:28:55:23
Terri Trespicio
It's a superpower because when people are like, Oh, I wish I could nap during the day, must be nice. I'm like, Oh, are you up working at that higher level in the morning and working all day and every weekend and all night, except for the rare delicious break because that's fun. And I definitely let me make very clear I am not sitting here like grinding away, but I am like a magnet or like the Roomba.

00:28:55:23 - 00:29:14:09
Terri Trespicio
I like returned to my base and the base is the work. I go out, I take cares of armor, come back to base, but I need time to walk. I insist on an hour at least of vigorous exercise in the morning, which was a new habit in the past two years. And then I insist on a nap when I get for my nap.

00:29:14:09 - 00:29:30:23
Terri Trespicio
I've got a good five more hours in me. I can do anything. Note I am not married. I have no children. I realize this is not possible for many people raising families. There's a reason I chose this life. This is what I wanted.

00:29:31:15 - 00:29:45:16
Joe Bukartek
And so I would actually. I'd push back even on that. That's a it's a wonderful disclaimer. Then you're saying, look, it's not for everyone, but depending on what kind of family person you want to be, why not do those things right?

00:29:45:16 - 00:29:52:07
Terri Trespicio
Well, you know, and it's not that you need time to yourself, right. Is a family person, but it's it is harder to carve out that time when you have.

00:29:52:07 - 00:30:10:12
Joe Bukartek
That can be it can be Right. These additional parameters for sure. Yeah. All right. So that will will lock in that that disclaimer as to how you you are able to perhaps and others might not be. But it also sounds like you come to this over many experiences after trying after maybe not insisting upon it from time to time.

00:30:10:20 - 00:30:16:01
Joe Bukartek
And it sounds like you're pretty pretty confident that this works really well for you.

00:30:16:01 - 00:30:35:10
Terri Trespicio
I will be able to function as the machine I need to be. If I get sleep, I get food, I get like it's not like, oh, I try to be healthy. I'm not trying to. There's no virtue signaling. I have a very finicky digestion. I am only eating what feels good and what tastes good because there's too many things I can't eat.

00:30:35:10 - 00:30:53:23
Terri Trespicio
And so, like, I'm going to like what I eat. And I believe and this is not I don't believe I'm special here either. But what if, rather than I'm a worker force and I have to carry work through my day and I what if we didn't look at it that way? Because I certainly don't. That's a hopeless position to to picture yourself in.

00:30:54:08 - 00:31:16:23
Terri Trespicio
What if we reframed it? I have long thought that I'm more like a channel that I can do my best work when I keep as much out of that channel as I can. So no, I am not endlessly scrolling because I it clutters my head and then I can't be as clear. And I want clarity above all else, the ability to focus when I need to.

00:31:17:01 - 00:31:38:20
Terri Trespicio
And so do you. And so does everyone listening. What are you doing to ensure that you keep some of the crap out of it and that can be exercise can do it, you know, exercise can do it. All those things can do it, but it's all for the same end. I want it's purely selfish. I want to feel good doing what I want to do and have to do, and I want it to be pleasurable.

00:31:38:20 - 00:31:55:12
Terri Trespicio
And one thing I'll talk I talk about in the book, Joe That was also the thing that everyone asked me about when the book first came out. When your passion first came out there, like, what do you mean you should stay in your comfort zone? Because that's a big part of what I believe, and it's people go, No, you have to get out.

00:31:55:18 - 00:32:14:15
Terri Trespicio
I said, Yeah, of course, you got to take risks. You've got to expand your comfort zone. But I don't leave it. I pay too much rent here in New York City to leave this comfort zone, this literal, actual comfort zone. I want to be comfortable. And when I'm psychologically, physically, mentally, emotionally comfortable, then I can take the risks.

00:32:15:11 - 00:32:35:23
Terri Trespicio
Telling people to get used to being uncomfortable is what most of humanity has felt for all of recorded history. Most people have spent a huge chunk of their lives totally uncomfortable. So if you want to pursue discomfort, be my guest. What a privilege. I'd rather hang on to whatever shred I can get.

00:32:36:17 - 00:32:48:06
Joe Bukartek
Right, But. But what you're talking about sounds very artificial, right? The privilege of doing that is in people's more often outer way outside their comfort zones. And it can be crippling. And it keeps us from.

00:32:48:12 - 00:32:49:10
Terri Trespicio
We still are.

00:32:49:17 - 00:33:05:11
Joe Bukartek
Yes, totally. And I love what you're saying. Staying within that comfort zone. I, I totally believe this as well. I consider my job pushing people to the edge of that comfort zone so that they can continue to grow and stretch and grow it.

00:33:05:11 - 00:33:06:02
Terri Trespicio
Yeah, you have to.

00:33:06:02 - 00:33:27:04
Joe Bukartek
Grow it, right? Yeah. But yeah, you got to still be willing to do a thing. You got to be willing to do a thing. Because if you're so far out, you're not going to do anything. You're going to cocoon, you're going to and look, there's, there's something to recharging. That's not what I'm talking about. Right? But if you're so far outside your comfort zone, you know, you're in survival mode more, then you're in thriving mode.

00:33:27:04 - 00:33:28:10
Joe Bukartek
You're not even near thriving.

00:33:28:18 - 00:33:54:05
Terri Trespicio
Right? It's like anyone make the best decisions when they're hangry because I'm not uncomfortable when I'm hangry. No, of course not. But like you said, expanding it, the idea that when people do something every day, that scares me, really, I don't I don't love that I really do something that maybe feels a little harder. Sure. But I can only do that when I feel at home in my life in my body, in my mind.

00:33:54:05 - 00:33:56:09
Terri Trespicio
You know.

00:33:56:09 - 00:34:03:18
Joe Bukartek
What do you do when you catch yourself not living the way you want to be living? What happens for you?

00:34:03:18 - 00:34:29:16
Terri Trespicio
Meaning that what? I know that meaning I get stressed or something. Because when I feel like maybe sometimes I am a little optimistic and I book too much at a time or book too much travel, and I go, Why did I do that? Because now I'm level and I have to just like unplug immediately when my go to when I'm really stressed or too much is his sleep like I it's how I cope with a lot of stuff.

00:34:29:21 - 00:34:51:17
Terri Trespicio
And so if things are happening not the way I want, then I tell myself like that is my self-care is like, All right, I'm going to have to like power down for a bit. But I will say that the thing that keeps me on the tracks are the relationships. I mean, my relationships are what define my life outside of these four walls.

00:34:51:17 - 00:35:15:06
Terri Trespicio
That's the people. And I am continuously and asynchronously in contact with many people, as I'm sure you are, and everyone else is through not even email really more and not even through text, but through Vox or through Marco Polo. Like I am a heavy user of those apps because I want any moment to have to go, Hey, you know, it's a funny ongoing conversation.

00:35:15:06 - 00:35:34:10
Terri Trespicio
I don't go Hello and goodbye. It's just ongoing. So if you feel like you're sustaining multiple meaningful, ongoing conversations, that keeps me sort of aligned and grounded like that. That is what I do. I come back to my people when I'm feeling like that.

00:35:34:21 - 00:35:50:20
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, Yeah. And given the way that you're explaining, you know, the looseness of the, of the framework of the conversation, that is just when you feel it, when in the moment it doesn't have to have a particular structure, doesn't have to happen between particular hours. It sounds like it's easily accessible at any moment.

00:35:51:02 - 00:36:11:05
Terri Trespicio
At any moment. And yet I can remain alone because I like to spend most of my time alone, like I want time to myself. I'm hungry for it, You know, for every hour I spend with a human, I think I need like 2 to 3 hours of, like, recuperating time. So I want to enjoy it. And then I need time apart.

00:36:11:15 - 00:36:16:19
Terri Trespicio
Yeah. And so that's that's kind of how I hope is to make sure I can always retreat behind the curtain a bit.

00:36:17:14 - 00:36:20:01
Joe Bukartek
It's really great to know about yourself, right? Really?

00:36:20:03 - 00:36:35:01
Terri Trespicio
Oh, my God. I mean, what am I changing at this date? Like, this is who I am now. This is who we are. And once you're no longer a young adult. Yeah. Best to get to know how you function best, because it doesn't get. Yes, it gets easier if you are willing to own up to those things.

00:36:35:10 - 00:37:06:07
Joe Bukartek
Well, own it and lean into it. Yeah, absolutely. Figure out how to make it work for you instead of. Yes. Just saying, well, that's how I am. It sucks, but that's how I am. Like, Well, you know what? If you just embrace it and make it work for you? Yeah. So given, given the all the relationships you have that, that re-energize you when, when you're, you know, done recharging on your own, who is someone you admire and what do you admire about them.

00:37:06:07 - 00:37:38:15
Terri Trespicio
Okay, so I'm going to remove from that equation my boyfriend, you know, his intimate partner, my sisters, who I love very much and talk to all the time. My mother. I'm going to take family out. Someone I admire, I'm going to say a woman I admire like so many of them. But one of them is a woman named Suzanne Kingsbury who basically changed my life.

00:37:38:23 - 00:38:07:15
Terri Trespicio
She is the creator of the great Alice Method, which I'm sure no one heard of, but she created these retreats for writers, was originally how it started and created a set of rules with how you interact in those, you know, within her method. She formulated this method and I got to experience it, you know, like almost not even ten years ago, walked under a tree, had no idea, just was like, I want to get back into my own writing again.

00:38:07:15 - 00:38:34:11
Terri Trespicio
I've gotten too far from it. And the experience of that change to me, and here's what I admire about her, is that she was so intuitive to understand it. She also studied it. What allows us to be most comfortable so that we can make amazing things. And in the context of that container, I will call it, of like what she said, Here's how we talk.

00:38:34:11 - 00:39:00:01
Terri Trespicio
We don't criticize, we don't judge, here's how we react to things. Respond to things. It helped me reprogram how I think about respond to other people. It has undoubtedly changed my work and changed the way I interact with people in my life to, of course, no one's perfect, but I admire her because she has grown a community based only on the intention of that.

00:39:00:09 - 00:39:21:21
Terri Trespicio
She is not someone who when going, How can I make $1,000,000? How can I have a six figure launch? That isn't what she's about. And yet her ideas and her intention and her rich sort of literary background and all that fed me and feeds a lot of people. And she didn't just feed me. She was like, teach a woman to fish time.

00:39:22:04 - 00:39:45:14
Terri Trespicio
So she has that. I mean, that to me is admirable. When you create something, you teach it to someone else, they benefit from it and they can continue to spread that and to enact that essentially kind and loving tool. It's a tool. It's not, you know, a mushy thing. It's it allows you to do great work. And I admire her.

00:39:45:14 - 00:39:57:12
Terri Trespicio
She's become a close friend, of course. But as as a person who can run these things, she's been my model, so she's probably the person I admire. I don't know if it's the most, but she's the one who pops to mind.

00:39:57:16 - 00:39:58:08
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, I think.

00:39:58:08 - 00:39:59:20
Terri Trespicio
You should talk to her.

00:39:59:20 - 00:40:15:12
Joe Bukartek
It. Well, sounds like I'd be delighted. And by the way, folks probably have heard of her and her method if they follow you at all on social media because I know I have already, and I love how you connected the idea of the comfort zone with her, as well as how she.

00:40:16:02 - 00:40:31:02
Terri Trespicio
Would identify it made so much sense because how were we able to write so much better with her? Because we were how we got we were. Hackers weren't up. We weren't afraid someone's going to jump down our throats like, you can't get the best out of people without making it psychologically safe.

00:40:31:21 - 00:40:46:15
Joe Bukartek
Right? And how refreshing too. Life's hard enough as it is. Why? Why make this additional tool and how to learn it be an additional hardship you have to overcome, right? It sounds like it's against stripping away, too, to get it what you know to be true already? Probably.

00:40:46:15 - 00:41:03:12
Terri Trespicio
Yes. And and yes, I've used it with people who like to write, but I've also taken it into corporations. I've taken this method into the executives at L'Oreal to Franklin Templeton. Like all these institutions and companies that aren't, you wouldn't think that there, like, would need this kind of thing or would want it.

00:41:03:13 - 00:41:05:19
Joe Bukartek
Right Right. It's not their defining characteristic.

00:41:05:19 - 00:41:10:21
Terri Trespicio
Yeah, that's right. It's not specific to writers. It's about humans. Humans want to make things and feel good about it.

00:41:11:16 - 00:41:19:05
Joe Bukartek
Yeah, that's great. I love the universality of. But what do you imagine that some people admire about you?

00:41:20:23 - 00:41:38:02
Terri Trespicio
I know what they admire about me because they tell me and I tell people always it's very helpful, but it's always funny when someone tells you what it when you hear someone describe you in front of you, like, Oh, that's Terry, She's Malala. And you're like, Wow, Really? Because you have a view of yourself. You're just whatever plodding through your life.

00:41:38:08 - 00:41:58:08
Terri Trespicio
But what people tell me that they like is that I say things that they already kind of thought they already knew. But I said, you know, I mean, it's not like either I help them see things in a completely new way or I reaffirm what they thought by saying it in a way that sticks with them. So they feel validated around me.

00:41:58:08 - 00:42:14:07
Terri Trespicio
I think I think that's one of the things I also they tell me that I entertain them, that I make them feel good, you know, that I help them feel capable, which I think might even be more important. A lot of people can make you feel good, but can someone make you feel that you can do a thing again?

00:42:14:07 - 00:42:33:12
Terri Trespicio
That's the that's a generative gift. And I feel like I feel like that's the thing. I think there's no pretense around me how I'm talking to you. And I have not met before. I can talk to you as I would. I am talking to you the way I would talk to anyone because I've already decided to trust you.

00:42:33:20 - 00:42:51:08
Terri Trespicio
And I think the reason why we don't have the relationship or some people don't feel that kind of connection is they think someone has to earn their trust first. I say, No, not with your life savings. But I decide to trust Joe first. I trust first, and I change my mind later if I need.

00:42:51:08 - 00:42:53:04
Joe Bukartek
To be reserved the right right.

00:42:53:11 - 00:42:57:05
Terri Trespicio
I do. But I think trusting first can accelerate. And I think people feel better around me.

00:42:58:12 - 00:43:06:07
Joe Bukartek
That's that's great to to feel comfortable maybe expressing that vulnerability. We do see it as vulnerability.

00:43:06:07 - 00:43:24:23
Terri Trespicio
Yeah, I do. But I also think everyone has a private life and things, You know, no one, first of all, wants to hear everyone's business, and I know that. But I feel like I always make sure if I'm going to tell something personal, there's a reason I'm telling it or there is a point to it. You know, I'm not trying to unload my life on to everyone.

00:43:25:05 - 00:43:33:12
Terri Trespicio
It's not me. I complainers. I don't do well around and I find I'm not around any because I don't tolerate it.

00:43:33:12 - 00:43:48:09
Joe Bukartek
That's great. Yeah. You keep giving me this great example. I haven't expressly asked the question of what have you said no to? That has made a significant impact. But you give me some really good ones. It sounds like certain interactions you've been saying no to, right? Not being.

00:43:48:09 - 00:44:10:10
Terri Trespicio
Around. I'm just not available for it. I just I just evaporate. I just, you know, I'm not there for I just things are hard enough, right, that you have to get through and do. I don't want more people tension or people friction. So I try to let a lot of things just go. Yeah. And a lot of people go and a lot of things go.

00:44:10:10 - 00:44:38:19
Terri Trespicio
I have to tell ourselves. I have to tell myself. And so do we. All. We're we're not going to do meet or try most things. Most things. Our life is this tiny thread that is a beginning and a very real end. And so we have no time for the other stuff. Now. I don't have time. Someone the little I mean, it goes without saying, but I was I got to some kind of communication.

00:44:38:19 - 00:44:59:21
Terri Trespicio
It was email from someone I was kind of doing business with a little bit like we were thinking about and the comment was like a sexually charged comment that was just like, Yeah, no. And I was like, Nope, I was wasn't. I didn't even want to. There wasn't anything I wanted to talk about. I didn't hash out like, let's I think that closure is overrated.

00:44:59:21 - 00:45:02:14
Joe Bukartek
Oh, what do you mean by that? Closer's overrated.

00:45:02:23 - 00:45:20:16
Terri Trespicio
Because if you're going to be a jackass, that I'm not out of time. I am sorry. I don't have time. We're moving on. There's no time, barely, to do the things we want. And so I don't. And here's a thing. And this is a little bit hashtag patriarchy, because obviously you can imagine being a single kind of liberal woman living in Manhattan.

00:45:20:16 - 00:45:21:01
Terri Trespicio
I'm going to have.

00:45:21:01 - 00:45:23:03
Joe Bukartek
I can own. I can only imagine. Yes.

00:45:23:11 - 00:45:49:13
Terri Trespicio
I don't suffer any jabs in that direction. Like I just not so if I'm when people maybe wrong me or offend me in some way and then they demand an audience for apology you know. But I just want to take No, no, no. I don't owe anyone anything. I don't especially owe an audience to someone who's proved that they don't deserve it.

00:45:50:08 - 00:45:58:17
Terri Trespicio
And yet people will tell you, No, no, but I need to. No, no, no. And that's the thing is where am I giving attention? And no one's entitled to my attention.

00:45:58:17 - 00:46:17:08
Joe Bukartek
I love that. That's great to me. That that well, I love to expand the definition of a word in a way that is helpful to me. I don't want to be boxed in or limited really by anything. That's it's kind of my approach to life. So when I heard to me that that sounds like great closure, like, no, I have closed this off.

00:46:17:08 - 00:46:24:11
Joe Bukartek
I've gotten my closure from you. You don't need to be apart. You've already shown to me that you don't deserve to be a part of my life.

00:46:24:11 - 00:46:29:00
Terri Trespicio
Right. Okay. Closure. Meaning I don't need to talk about it with them right now.

00:46:29:00 - 00:46:30:05
Joe Bukartek
That's great. I understand.

00:46:30:12 - 00:46:34:16
Terri Trespicio
Them. Or explain my reasoning. I don't know anyone that that's the thing.

00:46:35:15 - 00:46:36:07
Joe Bukartek
No, that's great.

00:46:36:07 - 00:46:54:05
Terri Trespicio
And if I have to apologize, if I mess up now and someone goes, I don't know if I can trust you anymore, I mean, that's really rare because that you can trust me, but if someone feels they can't because it was a miscommunication and that happens, I say you're you are well within your right to not talk to me anymore.

00:46:54:05 - 00:47:08:16
Terri Trespicio
If you don't want to do work with me, whatever. But understand that I learned from it. I know what went wrong and I'm not going to do that again. Yeah, and I understand why I made the mistake and I'm not going to do it because now I get it and I hope you understand, but I can't go. But you need to give me another.

00:47:08:21 - 00:47:09:22
Terri Trespicio
No. Yeah.

00:47:10:06 - 00:47:17:16
Joe Bukartek
No, it sounds more like you've done your personal reflection on it, right? Bummer that they're not there to listen to it, right?

00:47:18:19 - 00:47:23:19
Terri Trespicio
Yeah. You know, no one. No, you can't. You can't make people do things, I think.

00:47:23:19 - 00:47:41:21
Joe Bukartek
Well, that's. That's news to a lot of people, I think. Yes, I think. What do you mean? You can't make people listen to an apology right now. Terry, is there anything else that you would like to share? The name of intentionality that we haven't covered or that you'd like to like to share?

00:47:43:07 - 00:48:06:20
Terri Trespicio
I think we teach what we most need to learn, right? I am actually very impressionable and easily persuaded. So I have to put up those walls because I know I'll get sucked in. So there's that. But I think one of the hardest things any of us will have to do is not work. I think as people we are, we know how to work.

00:48:06:20 - 00:48:25:14
Terri Trespicio
We can work if we want, meaning, effort. The hardest thing we're going to have to do is choose and not choose once and forever or but to choose something. Now you only people come to me and they say, I have so many ideas. I could do so many things. I go, Yeah, and you're not going to do all of them this year, or maybe ever.

00:48:25:14 - 00:48:39:20
Terri Trespicio
And having all the ideas in the world is like having all the best intentions in the world. It doesn't matter unless you just like having the ideas. If you like having a bag of ideas and you walk around your whole life saying, I had the best ideas. That's great. But if you really want to do something, make something, share something.

00:48:39:20 - 00:49:00:22
Terri Trespicio
As Seth Godin calls art, you make it intentionally and you offer it to a person to the marketplace. Then you're going to have to choose. And having more ideas doesn't make you better. Let me see you execute on one so the outcome doesn't even matter. But do something. I know because I get I get like that too. But there's so many things I don't know what's going to yield.

00:49:00:22 - 00:49:18:13
Terri Trespicio
The most important thing to you right now. Is it money? Is it income? Is it relationships? Is it opportunities? It has to yield something. And it can't be all because someone so expected me to and wants me to. Nope, no time for that either. It has to rank up there for you to do it and then you have to choose to do it.

00:49:19:05 - 00:49:22:05
Joe Bukartek
Yeah. How simple. Very simplistic.

00:49:22:12 - 00:49:24:01
Terri Trespicio
Simple, but not really. Yeah.

00:49:24:19 - 00:49:34:06
Joe Bukartek
Well, it's hard for people had. So briefly, how do you help people to make that decision, or is that something that you help them to do?

00:49:34:06 - 00:49:49:20
Terri Trespicio
I do. And I do it because a lot of my work happens Crucible style. We're doing the work together as a group in the room and they have to like I give them a writing prompt and I go, You're going to do this even if you're not a writer. Doesn't matter. I need you to do this now. Go do it now.

00:49:49:21 - 00:50:08:02
Terri Trespicio
Do it. And it's like there's so much. There's pressure. Just go do it. We don't time. Don't worry. No time. No time. And then they do it. They write for a few minutes and I go, okay, now read it. And we're like, Amazing. Do you see that they have to have evidence of progress? We all do. And so that is how you do It is I don't care.

00:50:08:02 - 00:50:22:16
Terri Trespicio
It's fine. You can change it later. Just make it now. Do it now. Try it now. We'll change it later. I'm always like, take it out in post kind of person, but do it now, because then you have it and then you have evidence that you can make and say and do stuff. Motivation only comes when you have witnessed your own progress.

00:50:22:16 - 00:50:27:18
Terri Trespicio
So what can you allow yourself to progress in today?

00:50:29:09 - 00:50:33:00
Joe Bukartek
Love it, love it right now. Today. Just do something.

00:50:33:07 - 00:50:34:06
Terri Trespicio
Do it. Hurry up.

00:50:35:05 - 00:50:59:05
Joe Bukartek
It's so good. Terry, thank you so much. Has been real, real pleasure getting to chat with you today. I'm really glad we got to do this. So thank you for your time. Thank you for your very careful consideration of the questions and in sharing your insights, your perspective. I really appreciate it. How can folks find you if they want to learn more about how to work with you, what you're up to?

00:50:59:14 - 00:51:16:08
Terri Trespicio
Yeah. Yeah. Well, the best way is to get on the list just because those are the people I give the first rounds of invites and offers to. And I'm thinking because the book is the most helpful, I think at this point. Could be maybe you're like, Who is this check? Do I want this? You can download the first chapter free.

00:51:16:08 - 00:51:29:07
Terri Trespicio
You just go to on file your passion dot com. That's the easiest, but I'm the only one named Terry. Just be sure I'm the only one. So if you try to spell it, Google knows me and then you can find me pretty much anywhere. But definitely get on the email list because that's where the that's where the gold is.

00:51:29:19 - 00:51:38:00
Joe Bukartek
Fantastic. Excellent. All right. Well, we'll be sure to link all that stuff. Make it easy for folks. Right. But if that's the one thing they do today, make it that right? Yeah, sure. Why not?

00:51:39:11 - 00:52:02:10
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This has been intention ever after. Hosted by intentional lifestyle coach Joe Booker. If you would like to have your own intentional conversation with Joe on or off the air visit intentionally ever after dot com. Thanks for listening.