The Self Care Strategy that Sparks Lasting Personal Growth with Beth Sandlin

Do you use any self care strategies? 

Lots of people enjoy getting a massage, getting their nails done, or taking an afternoon off, but the most important kind of self care strategy is inner-self care.

In this episode, the tables are turned as special guest Beth Sandlin, founder of Trifecta Pilates, interviews Differently host Carla Reeves. 

If you want a clearer mind, a calmer mind, the ability to be more present, and take yourself from where you are now to where you want to be, practicing journaling as an inner self care strategy is definitely for you (even if you’ve never been into journaling before)!

Episode Highlights:

5:37 Journaling as Self-Care: The undeniable power of journaling as a tool for self-care, stress relief, and personal growth

9:10 Self-Care Strategies: The importance of internal self-care and how it differs from traditional self-care activities like massages and spa days and the discipline required for true self-care, highlighting how managing thoughts and emotions can lead to a more fulfilling life.

13:38 Embracing Change and Trusting the Journey: The importance of taking small steps and staying committed to personal growth, even when faced with uncertainty or fear.

Enjoy!

Learn more about Beth:

Beth's past episodes:
Move Differently with Beth Sandlin
Revitalizing Your Routine Through Mindful Movement with Beth Sandlin

Website:  https://www.trifectapilates.com

Try her Free Program: https://www.trifectapilates.com/move

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/trifectapilates

Connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/trifectapilates

Learn more about Carla:  https:/www.carlareeves.com/

Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/

Explore Coaching with Carla:  https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching

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Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. What if you worried less about the bumps in the road and instead got equipped for the journey? Get ready to rethink what's possible. Today we're doing things a bit differently. That's right. We're turning the tables and I'm sharing an interview with you that I did with Beth Sandlin, the founder of Trifecta Pilates.

Speaker 1: 0:41

That name may sound familiar to you. She's been on the podcast before and I'll put links in the show notes. It's a peek behind the scenes of what has shaped my path and the things I have learned, the undeniable power of journaling and an inside look at the journey of following a call on your heart. I hope this conversation gives you a sense and a hope of what it takes and what it provides to do the daily work, the things we talk about on this podcast, and you're going to enjoy the beautiful perspective that Beth brings from her work and the Joy Pilates practice brings to life. So grab a cup of coffee or settle into your favorite walk, because we're getting real about business life pivots, digging deep, doing the hard things, and why it's all worth it for something bigger. This is a raw and, I hope, insightful conversation you don't want to miss. Stay with us.

Speaker 2: 1:36

Hey, Carla, I'm so happy to be here today talking with you all about business life, pivots and, of course, journaling as well.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Beth, I'm so excited too. This is, you know, we, we. I think this was inspired when you were on my podcast and we thought about, like, switching the tables and doing something a little differently, ha ha, so I'm excited to be here too.

Speaker 2: 2:02

I would love, as a starting point for you, just to maybe introduce yourself a little bit and share a glimpse of why you started your business. May not be the iteration that you're working with today, but that initial like pivot to opening up your business.

Speaker 1: 2:20

Yes. So I never really thought I wasn't one of those kids that thought I would be an entrepreneur or have my own business one day, although when I look back, I had a little radio show when I was little and I would play office and I would. I had like a mud pie store and you know all those funny things. So I look back and there were even little glimpses of it. Then my dad was a big time entrepreneur his whole life. So I grew up around entrepreneurship but it just wasn't in my brain it was about.

Speaker 1: 2:51

I always say like I lived half my life living sort of at the mercy of my circumstances and feeling like if things were going well in my life and I was checking those boxes that I thought were right and people around me were reflecting you know good things, to me then life felt pretty good. But the moment any of that went away or went awry, I would sort of scramble to do better, work harder, be more, get better all those things. And it was. I was probably 28. And my life sort of fell apart. I had been married for five years, I was now divorced in a place where I never ever imagined my life would be, and just one of those pivot points of like okay, I thought I knew what I was doing. I clearly don't and at that point in my life I was really open to just figuring out something new. I knew in my heart that there had to be a different way of doing life. I just didn't know what that was and I started seeking at that point and really was a turning point of okay, I've been so focused on the external, looking out here and trying to make everything look good, but I'd never had anybody really point me to the inside, like who am I and what are my values and what, what's, what am I here to do in this lifetime and I think that was the first time in my life I started going inside and as I did that, I started noticing all the chaos and the noise that was inside and cleaning that up. And as I did that, things started to look different on the outside. So that's one pivot point. And it was really this discovery of oh my gosh, I have some creative agency over my life. I don't just have to blow the wind here and feel powerless. And really it was the first time that I took responsibility for what was happening in my life and took the reins of what I could control to shift that. So that was one major, major pivot point. So I started practicing all of that in my life and then met my husband now and had our first child.

Speaker 1: 5:06

I had been in corporate world, left to become a mom, didn't know if I would go back and after having my son I knew if there was any way I didn't have to go back to work. I wanted to be home. I mean, that was just a dream come true, being a mom. But at about eight months old I started feeling like I was losing my sanity and I looked around and I saw a lot of other mothers losing their sanity and that would ripple to the way that they parented and the way their marriage was and the way just they did everyday life. And I knew I didn't want that but I didn't really know how to create something different.

Speaker 1: 5:47

I, at the same time I felt this incredible calling to start writing and as a new young mom, I, just, any moment I could, I would just sit down and start. I listen, have you ever read the Artist's Way? I don't think I have. It's a book that kind of introduces you to the idea of journaling and emptying your mind. And I picked that up and I started just emptying my mind on a piece of paper when I could, and my mission was to figure out how to be a happy mom. Because I felt like if I could do that for my children, I felt like that was one of the greatest gifts I could give them and model for them in their life.

Speaker 1: 6:27

And it was like three, I don't even know how it was three or five or six months later into that process of writing, I was sitting on my bed flipping through the pages of that journal and I was just floored at what had happened on those pages. Just floored at what had happened on those pages, like not only had I figured out to take better care of myself, to feel happier in my everyday, but I tapped into my creativity and my spirituality and I'd like peeled all these layers of just not liking myself and just layers of stuff that just bubbled up and kind of dissipated as I went through that writing process. And in that moment I knew I'm here to teach people how to use writing as a tool to navigate their everyday life. So that was the first launch of my first business, called sanity journals, by the way.

Speaker 2: 7:24

I love that and I wanted to go back to where you began, because that's another link that between us that we just uncover. My dad was also an entrepreneur. It's very interesting that I myself like didn't ever envision myself being an entrepreneur, and I can't help but think, if we are kind of the same age span as when we were growing up, it was mainly men who were entrepreneurs, and my mom is amazing and still is amazing. But when I was very young I was a stay-at-home mom. She did the whole like volunteering and of course that's a full-time job in itself. I remember her coming into the classrooms and really being there for me in that way. I remember her coming into the classrooms and really being there for me in that way, but I never had a woman really in that entrepreneurship role that I can turn to and look to, and I can't help but think of that's why for both of us and maybe for many women, why we don't automatically think like entrepreneurship right off the bat, because it's just not demonstrated as clearly as it has traditionally been for men. And so I love that we can both be demonstrations of that for other women, because when I was working even this was even before entrepreneurship, I was working as an independent Pilates teacher.

Speaker 2: 8:40

Many of my clients, most of them, were full-time working women and they had children who were older at that point and their children were amazing and I thought, oh, thank goodness, their children are amazing and they're working like being a mom doesn't have to look one way. It's really different for everyone. Um, and so I love that you had this kind of metamorphosis of this evolution of personal discovery through journaling, which I just heard someone reference it in a way that I never had heard before, as it's not external self care such as getting your nails done or getting a massage, it's internal self carecare, and that was a huge perspective shift for me and I would love to know if you think of it as that you mentioned, you know, like a spiritual journey and some other aspects, but does it, do you think, count as self-care and how does that help contribute to your overall wellbeing?

Speaker 1: 9:45

Oh, it's such a big question but I absolutely believe that. I love that I wrote that down. Internal self-care the word self-care, just in and of itself, there's something about that that just kind of rubs me the wrong way. And not because it's bad, like in and of itself it's not bad. But I think for most people when you think of self-care it's promoted like you're talking about, like go get your nails done or go get a massage or you know, take a day to yourself and all of those things. And really I heard someone, or it was an article I read.

Speaker 1: 10:18

It was like self-care is discipline and to me that's what true self-care is. For me it's discipline in the everyday to tune inside, take care of my thought life, because my mind is so busy and noisy and can go all over the place if I allow it and run my life. And I've been down that road of allowing my thoughts to run my life and that never turns out well. And learning to actually take care of my thoughts has been one of the core components of changing my life. And that takes discipline. It's everyday work.

Speaker 1: 11:03

I mean I just got done telling you we were on that five week road trip across the country and just I was really just aware of like, wherever you go, there you are, like vacation is great and trips are great and seeing different places, it all sounds so fun and amazing and all of that. But wherever you go, there you are. And it re-energized my passion for teaching people this daily self-care, because if you're not taking care of those things, that they follow you wherever you go and if you're not feeling good inside, regardless of where you are and what you're doing and what amazing vacation you're on there you are, so it's so vital.

Speaker 2: 11:50

I would love to know your distinction between the thinking and then the action of actually journaling, because I think a lot of us, you know, just think and think. Oh, you know thinking about it. So is there something specific really with journaling that shifts it then into an action, even if it's not like you're doing a workout or traveling to a new place?

Speaker 1: 12:19

So for me, like managing my thinking, the writing is so sort of tightly integrated because one just getting this out of your head is so incredibly helpful. If that's all you know, I told you about my journey when I started. It was really just emptying my thoughts every day. Just that practice alone frees up some space in your mind to have fresh thought, have new thought, and because those thoughts, whether you realize it or not, they're sort of guiding or dictating your feelings, your emotions, your actions and your results. And so a lot of times when people don't like the results they're getting in life, they go back and change their actions, but they haven't addressed what I believe is the foundation, which is their thinking.

Speaker 1: 13:08

And once you start to address the thinking, you can create really true, lasting change in your life. So that practice of just emptying your thought is the first step. But then you start emptying it and you start noticing, like the landscape of your mind, Like if you do that over you know a number of days, you start emptying it and you start noticing, like the landscape of your mind, Like if you do that over you know a number of days, you start to see this landscape of your mind that you're living in and that's where you have power to start to go, wow, like, is that lifting me up or dragging me down, and is it even true? That was one of the greatest gifts I ever got was don't believe everything you think. And then you start to think about what is it you really want and how can you align or challenge some of your thinking or, like, remove some of that outdated thinking to create new experiences and realities in your life?

Speaker 2: 14:05

I really appreciate that because I'm going to put this in the movement perspective.

Speaker 2: 14:10

For a lot of people who move with me, either on YouTube or within the membership and app, one of the things they tell me is there has been a shift in how they think and then, therefore, how they move, with not only Pilates but workouts, because we have been for a very long time told workouts always seem to be really challenging and hard or long in length or in a specific setting.

Speaker 2: 14:32

There's a lot of myths and misnomers with it and as they come to realize that sure can be an amazing full-length, long workout, but so much more beyond that, they feel empowered to take action in a different way and, for a lot of people, they actually like writing about their experience afterwards and they'll reflect back on that later on, maybe coming back to that same workout and noticing how moving with even the same exact workout is a different experience on a different day. So you mentioned this earlier when you were first getting into journaling. You like reflected and then looked back at what you had written over that course of time. Do you have a recommendation when people are journaling, how often they go back and look through their journals?

Speaker 1: 15:22

Yeah, it's such a great question Because I think one there's a couple things. One is, sometimes people are afraid to journal because they're afraid someone's going to find their journal and I used to do journaling retreats and that would come up a lot and so one don't let that be a stop to writing, because even if you write and you just discard it every day, I think that's a really powerful process. I don't think you have to go back. However, if you're trying to create some sort of change or transition in your life, you know, just writing for a period of five or seven days, like in my program, the first exercise people go through is to just empty their thinking for like five days in a row and that together we come together to look at that writing days in a row and that together we come together to look at that writing to understand like what's the story or the narrative, the lens that they're looking through in their life, and that writing just lays it all out for us. And so if you're doing that for yourself, just writing for a week and just emptying what's in there is going to give you so much clarity about, kind of where you are, where you're focused.

Speaker 1: 16:32

You know, a lot of times we just get so focused on everything that's wrong or not working in our life. Stepping back and seeing that can give you a lot of clarity for what you actually want in your life. So there's so many gems in your writing that give you information about kind of where you are, what's important to you, what's rubbing up against you, what's not working, and that you know. You don't want to stay in the muck of that, and I think that's one of the keys is you want to start to move in some new directions. Like you're teaching, you know new workouts or different workouts depending on your mood. You can change the way you're writing to shift how you're feeling too.

Speaker 1: 17:14

So, you know, a lot of times I've had clients say like I don't know what to write now. Or or like you know my life is better now, but I but I don't know what to write about, and so your writing can be. It can be a, you know, a source for gratitude, a source for creativity, like brainstorming what you do want in your life. It can be, you know, I used to like when I still do I have like a vision in my life and I use my writing to kind of write my way there and empty all the stuff that's getting in the way of that being real in my life. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 17:50

It does, and it's kind of similar to Pilates, where sometimes people think just journaling is like one very specific thing, or you have to start with a blank page and where do I begin?

Speaker 2: 18:01

But you just gave a lot of different examples of how it can be.

Speaker 2: 18:05

Yes, gratitude, and I remember the first time I heard about writing about gratitude was back when Oprah Winfrey had her television show and she was writing about her practice of writing down what she was grateful for like very specific elements, and how that has evolved can change your mood or focus on a different element through journaling, and that's something I've noticed that just shifting our perspective and focus is kind of like highlights puts a flashlight on a certain area, and for myself, I used to be a pessimist.

Speaker 2: 18:47

I always would say, oh no, I'm just a realist. But no, I was really pessimistic and I was highlighting the things that didn't work out well rather than highlighting the elements of my life that were beautiful and amazing, because we're all going to have bumps in the road along the way, sometimes really minor, sometimes much more major, and what I was doing through the highlighting was making the minor major and only focusing on that, like the rest of the stage was dark, so I love that you emphasize that with journaling. You mentioned a few things in there that you used to do journaling retreats and how you work people through the process. I think this would be a good segue into maybe how your business has evolved over the years, kind of like a sneak peek of what has led you to make those pivots back from that very first journal that you created.

Speaker 1: 20:02

Yes, so, okay. So back to that story sitting on my bed, you know, kind of realizing I'm here to teach people how to use journaling as a tool to navigate life. So that was the beginning of Sanity Journals, which was a small company retreats where women could get away and men but it was mostly women for instead of like a whole day or a weekend, for two hours and there would just be a theme for the event and some writing prompts, and I would introduce the theme, women would write and then they would share, and that was literally the format, and women would come into that room looking like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders and they would leave and they visibly looked different, just from writing, expressing, sharing, knowing they're not alone in their internal struggles, and it was remarkable. And so I did that business for I don't know, maybe like five or seven years. And then I did some speaking about that and a coaching company called me and said, hey, you're passionate about journaling and so are we, and I got partnered with them and I started helping them out. They had an online software which I ended up creating an online journaling lounge where people could write and connect and grow.

Speaker 1: 21:24

And then I went to the president of that company, after building a relationship with her, and I said I really need some help. I want to grow my business, but I don't know what to do. And she said I think you know what to do, I think you're in your own way and you should do our coaching. So that was my first introduction to coaching and I went through their program and the coaching was great. But I fell in love with the idea of marrying a journal with a coach to really help people make lasting change in their life, and so I became a coach on their team and I was on their team for, I think, six years and then I went out on my own in 2015,.

Speaker 1: 22:01

Not because I really wanted to I didn't see myself going out and creating my own brand again, but internally I felt such a strong nudge that it was time for me to go. And I didn't really know why, but I had dismissed that voice so many times in my life and regretted that, and I'd made a promise to myself not long before that to listen sooner and act faster. And so I left. And here I am still doing that and things are starting to kind of shift and evolve again, and I've had some more internal nudges, and so my whole journey has been really following that internal nudge more than anything else no-transcript.

Speaker 2: 23:41

It was when I began and I also had my young children who were, you know, watching what I was doing, working full time at the time, and I wanted them to know that they can make pivots when they're older. It's so different than when we were growing up. You know a lot of people stuck with their same path of employment with their same company for like 30 years and big retirement party from that same company, and now it's a lot more well. Let's see what other avenue to explore. And I sounds like you're on the brink of, you know, working through some new or evolving elements, and I am as well, and that's a process that I think sometimes people rush like where are you going next? It's like I'm okay being right where I am and not 100% sure if this is like exactly what I'm doing or the pivots that are being made. So can you maybe share how you have learned to trust in that process?

Speaker 1: 24:54

in that process. Hmm, yes, that's. It's not a once and done, it's a, it's a process and a practice for sure. But, like I said, I think the biggest thing, the biggest teacher, has been that not listening, you know, not listening for so long and seeing that every time it was right, you know that compass inside was right, and so that was one of my biggest teachers and now it's just, it's an everyday practice.

Speaker 1: 25:23

I one of the greatest challenges in entrepreneurship for me has been confidence, and I've struggled with a lack of confidence since I was a little girl, like it was literally marked on my report card I don't know if it was once or three times like she lacks confidence, and it is a practice every day to kind of slay the mental dragons and just choose to show up because I have something in my heart that is big, that I know I'm here to share, and it's just taking little steps in trusting that and following and listening, and I think it's important to start small and just so you can build some evidence that says you know what, I can trust this and because now I've been doing it so long, I'm not going to say that I'm good at it, because I feel like right now, talking about pivots, I feel like this vision that's on my heart now is bigger than I ever wanted or dreamed, and it feels terrifying every day and but I'm so committed inside to just keep showing up and taking the next step, and I think that's been the message.

Speaker 1: 26:30

The last sort of eight months is like don't get too far ahead, just show up every day and spend like 15 minutes on this vision and let the next step be revealed. And every time I do that, it is. And then I just I use the writing practice to keep my head clear and keep my eyes focused on where I'm going. And I just show up every day, but it's not because I feel confident always, that's for sure.

Speaker 2: 27:00

Thanks for sharing that, and I can't help but think as well that sometimes our business pivots because where we are in our personal life is so unique and different and continues to evolve. Oh yeah, that's like you know, weekend retreat experience. But then you defined it as two hours and it really made sense for me because I remember being a young mom and thinking like how are people going on these like retreat getaways? Like that is just not practical for my life right now at the time, both from a financial perspective and just from a time perspective. So I love it was like two hours because that's for a lot of people what can be done and how that then evolved and shifted. And I love the element of journaling and coaching because that's something I feel like that's pretty unique about what you do. Can you explain that or maybe detail it a little bit more?

Speaker 1: 28:08

Yes. So the journaling is really the centerpiece to what we do inside of coaching, and I like to tell people cause not everybody's a journaler, not everybody wants to journal. Some people are like that's not for me, and what I like to say is that journaling is, it's just a vehicle. It's a vehicle that I use to get from where I am to where I want to go, and so that's what it is for my clients. They're not avid journalers Some of them are but they're somebody who wants to create some sort of change or they're moving through a transition.

Speaker 1: 28:42

They want to do differently. They have that inner ang, or they're moving through a transition. They want to do differently. They have that inner angst and they're willing to show up and do the writing. The writing's the vehicle.

Speaker 1: 28:57

The focus is on you, and so the writing just gives us so much data and so much information for me, as their coach, to see their blind spots, to help them see how their thinking is shading the way that they're experiencing their relationships, their marriage, their work, happiness. Like everything, it's shading everything, and so I'm, you know, trained in that. To help them see that, see how their thinking is impacting all these different places that see how their thinking is impacting all these different places. It's also a place where they get to just be seen, heard and understood. You know, a lot of times especially for busy leaders and they don't they're leading, so they don't have a place that they can just or they're even just as when you're a mom you often don't have a place where you can just lay out what's happening for you because you're so busy taking care of everybody else often don't have a place where you can just lay out what's happening for you because you're so busy taking care of everybody else. So it's a place where they can just kind of lay it all out there and, you know, be witnessed.

Speaker 1: 29:55

And a lot, of, a lot of my job is reflecting back to you. You know, listen to this, like look at what you just wrote Like to you. You know, listen to this, like, look at what you just wrote Like this is you, this is your truth, this is what's important to you. Or you know I can hide, like you were talking about highlighting. That's a lot of my role in the journal. So we have an online tool where they write and then I can comment back, and so a lot of times I'll cut and paste something they said and highlight it to say, hey, look at this, or say more about this, or how is this thought impacting your ability to move forward in this area? So it's an incredibly intimate, really powerful back and forth exchange that happens over a number of weeks, and so they're not only sort of building this habit of writing, with somebody with their journal talking back to them, but they're also there's an incredible like rigor and reflection that's happening. It's pretty powerful.

Speaker 2: 30:59

So you've said a few words, well, rigor and reflection I wanted to highlight, but also discipline from earlier on, and that's something maybe I want to go a little bit deeper with, because sometimes I feel like we don't want to think about discipline when it comes to different areas of our life, or we shy away from it because there's a negative connotation with that. How do you really define those terms and kind of stick with it, when maybe we don't want to do that anymore?

Speaker 1: 31:38

That's such a good question. One thought that came to my mind, as you said, that is I believe the word discipline comes from disciple, which is believing in something, and so for me, it's not that I don't necessarily want to do the discipline, but there's something I want that's bigger than that and that's what I always keep my eye on. That's something bigger, whether it's having a really great marriage or, you know, being the mom I want to be, or building a business. It's that, something bigger in my life that has me show up and do the hard things so like for our marriage.

Speaker 1: 32:17

This is something we've been working on really since we met, because I was divorced when we met and I was so afraid of failing you know what I called failing again and so we really did things differently and what it's daily work. It's really daily work in our marriage of clearing away all the little stuff that festers and builds up and we call it sweeping. But we do the sweeping work in our life every day, in our marriage, to sort of keep that foundation clean so that we could have a great marriage and so we could go on a five week adventure in a car together and actually have fun. We had a really great time, but it's because we've done so much daily work and discipline in our marriage. But the reason I do it and how I do it is because of that something bigger.

Speaker 2: 33:10

I love that perspective shift from just something we have to do to really how it can benefit us. Can you explain maybe sweeping a little bit more for people who may be new to that terminology and is that something unique to you or a general term, because you're the first person who I actually heard that from?

Speaker 1: 33:34

yeah, it kind of ties back to a story. When I met my husband and you know I told you I was fearful and afraid that I wouldn't be able to have a successful marriage. And we at the time we were engaged and everywhere we went people would be they would say, oh, look, how cute they are they're engaged like. And then they would say, oh, just wait, just wait till you've been married a number of years and that'll go away. And literally that happened so many times.

Speaker 1: 34:01

And I remember laying in bed one night and I was so fearful. I remember thinking to myself like, are they right? Will I ever be able to have a lasting marriage? And all these negative thoughts were spiraling. And then all of a sudden there was like an interruption in my thought pattern of like, what if you know? I started to feel like there was this imaginary monster that was going to come in at some future date and just rip the bliss out of our relationship. And I thought, what if that's not true? What if there's not an imaginary monster? What if it's up to us? What if it's up to us to keep the love and attraction and friendship and all those things alive in our marriage? And that thought. Like that change of thought all of a sudden just like lit a fire in me, like, oh my gosh, like we have some control here, we're not powerless to this, and what could that look like?

Speaker 1: 34:56

And so we had been through some training, just like kind of life, life leading, your life training and we just started doing that. We started practicing sort of sweeping. We, you know, clearing, communicating a lot about what was happening and what wasn't working so that we could get back to what is working. And over the time of our marriage we just, you know, we kind of we created that term. I call it the time of our marriage. We created that term. I call it the art of sweeping.

Speaker 1: 35:28

But it really is cleaning up. It can happen in any relationships, kind of having a commitment to sweeping the dust so that it doesn't pile up to the point where you're like I don't even know who you are, I don't love you anymore and I think this is over. Know who you are, I don't love you anymore and I think this is over. If you're clearing that ongoingly, you can always see the original stained glass of what brought you together and why you're in love. And I have so much passion about this, beth, because I never believed this. But you can fall in love again and again, and again, and we've been married 25 years and it just keeps happening because of the daily discipline and work actual kitchen right, but we just went to Alaska for two weeks.

Speaker 2: 36:15

We're all in a motor home together. My family and I need to sweep every single day because we're bringing a lot in, and I think that's what relationships are as well as. Sometimes it's like, oh, you just need a little touch up, and other times it's a little bit more intensive and we really need to get in there more consistently and thinking like, oh, I'm just gonna sweep one time and, yeah, be done for the rest of my life. I live in this house from where the house is really impractical, but no one, ever, or not many people, give us the tools for that when it comes to relationships, and for me it sounds like not only the sweeping technique but journaling is vitally important to understand this, because I feel like sometimes, when we're in relationship with others, it's really easy to lose that connection with ourselves.

Speaker 2: 37:15

And I found for me I remember a distinct hairbrush moment I'll call it when I had not been coming consistently to the Pilates mat was on this like hamster wheel of life, and I think I wanted to like brush my, the hair of my children and they were children, of course and so something was going on and my husband comes in and says I think you just need to step away, beth, why don't you let me help them?

Speaker 2: 37:40

And I could have responded one of two ways just leave me alone, I have it. But actually it was one of the most kind moments that I remember in our relationship. And as I walked out of that bathroom was like I have not been doing Pilates consistently, and as much as I got into it for a good workout I wanted to. You know vitality and always feel strong. I realized over the years that it's been a lot for emotional regulation that helps me reduce stress. I know a lot of people have told me that as well, so I would love to know I just share a little bit, maybe a hidden benefits of Pilates. What do you feel are maybe something we haven't covered yet, if there is anything hidden benefits of journaling hidden benefits of journaling.

Speaker 1: 38:28

Yes, I love that and I think that what you're talking about is so easy to get away from your healthy habits when life is happening and I always tell my clients that's the time that you actually want to increase the importance of your habits, whether it's Pilates or writing or whatever it is, even if it's ever so slightly, and you have to get super creative to fit it in, because it's more important during those times. And once you start doing them, you feel the difference in like you did and you can know, like oh no wonder I feel so scattered and overwhelmed because I've let this slip away and the most important part is just picking it back up. So, hidden benefits of journaling, yeah, I mean that like, probably like movement. There are so many, but I think the things that I hear and I experience ongoingly is just a clearer mind, a calmer mind, the ability to be more present because you're not lost up here. The ability to be more present because you're not lost up here.

Speaker 1: 39:30

I've had clients say that they are able to communicate better, more clearly, because they're sort of, I guess, having that internal communication with themselves and they're more clear about their you know where they stand, or their ideas or their position on something you know. I always tell people like just spending five minutes in writing before you have a conversation or go into a meeting can be so clarifying and allow you to communicate better, but I think it impacts stress, I think it can impact sleep, I think it elevates creativity, and I mean I could go on and on, but I think those are are some of the benefits.

Speaker 2: 40:12

And I think, just like Pilates and other elements of life as well, that sometimes they're unique to what we need at that time and the longer that we stay with it, movement, action, movement with Pilates, action with journaling or other elements that helps us tune into that wisdom that you talked about at the very beginning. Rather than ignoring that, how can we actually turn that up and amplify it a little bit more? Turn that up and amplify it a little bit more, and so I'd love to know, before we head off today, there's anything else that you'd like to share that we haven't touched upon?

Speaker 1: 40:57

Maybe just I was actually writing before we talked. I'm thinking about, you know, some of the most common things that show up for people in getting unstuck or moving through something that is uncomfortable in your life. And the most common things that I see show up are one, an outdated way of thinking, and so a lot of times, you know, we just believe and take it as truth what's happening in our mind right, and a lot of times when I'm working with clients, most often they have an outdated way of thinking about themselves, about what they're capable of, about what's possible for their life. And really just take giving yourself the gift of examining what is happening up there, what's stirring up there, on a regular basis, to see if there's some outdated stuff, because so often our past is shaping the way that we see and operate now to create our future. And the way that you change your results here and now and going forward is to change some of that thinking.

Speaker 1: 42:08

And I would bet that there's some outdated thinking stirring around in there.

Speaker 1: 42:13

And if you, you know, if you get it out and you you don't know what to do with it like reach out and get some support around going through that with somebody because it will liberate you and that's, you know, my, my mission is to help people break old patterns so they can write new stories like literally write new stories and legacy in your life. And when we as individuals change some of those patterns in our own life that are from our past or from our upbringing or from our whatever it is, wherever we adopted those things from, we then change it for our life. But as our boys are adults now, we're starting to see that the things that we took the reins on to change those negative patterns or whatever in our life that's now has impacted our boys and they're making new ripples in the world and creating a new legacy. And that's, I think, the power we have as an individual is like to do the work here so that we can ripple new things out everywhere else.

Speaker 2: 43:19

I love that and, as you were talking, it reminded me of a training I was in, actually when I was in administration at a university setting, and it was all about adopting change but at the same time not really devaluing what worked really well in the past. Because I think that can easily happen. And there's one reason why sometimes we don't think about pivots we can make or a change in perspective is because sometimes then we layer on the belief that that was wrong or that was bad, rather than that system worked well for us. We learned it somewhere along the line and the analogy they gave was you know, college registration used to be you went in and you had to, like, go to the person. You found your last name and you had to register in person. By the time I came to college, it was you called to register and you were like pressing buttons on the phone.

Speaker 2: 44:16

We no longer do that with college registration. It's all via. You register on the website. But if someone had a really great system of in-person registration only and we applied to college, we think why do we have to go in person to register? Can't we just do that via the website? And it's not that that system was wrong, but there's just been an evolution and that's always stuck with me that, yep, that worked really well and sometimes actually, we have to rely on that in-person registration. So sometimes we're like class audit. So it's not that we had to completely ditch it or ignore it. We may lean back into that. So I wanted to share that because it seems so parallel to what you were sharing as well.

Speaker 1: 44:58

I love that it's so true. You know, I think just not even just outdated thinking, but just rules and behaviors that we've done for so long, sometimes just stopping to examine them like do I need to do that anymore? Does that still make sense to do it that way, and could there be a new way? Yes, love that.

Speaker 2: 45:16

For people who may not be familiar with you, or where to find resources. What is the best way to connect? I know podcasts they can definitely listen to you, but is that the best way to connect with you, or is there some other place that would be really great?

Speaker 1: 45:33

Yes, so the podcast, it's called Differently. Rethink what's Possible. So you can definitely take a listen to the podcast and then to connect would probably be my website, so CarlaReevescom.

Speaker 2: 45:45

Amazing, carla, and let's end with what's maybe like your final words of wisdom.

Speaker 1: 45:54

No pressure. I guess what I would want to leave you with is just, in this noisy, noisy world that we live in, I think there's not a more important time to take some time to get quiet, whether it's on your mat doing Pilates or just getting outside or pulling out a notebook and getting quiet. Because I so often where we think we need to look over here to find all the answers, and I just see it over and over and over again with my clients and with myself that there's so much wisdom inside to guide your life and nobody else in your life can see that compass, and so the more you start paying attention to it, the more it can guide your life.

Speaker 2: 46:43

Oh, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing Carla, listening to that inner wisdom as the final thoughts. Just so amazing to end with. Thanks so much for your time today.

Speaker 1: 46:55

So great to hang out with you, thank you. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. It's been an honor to share this conversation with you. You know, one of the keys to living fully is to take action when you're inspired to do so. I hope you found that spark of inspiration today and would you help us spread the word. Did someone you know come to mind while you were listening? If this episode could impact someone you know, please share it and pass it along. New episodes drop weekly, so tap that subscribe button and join us next time as we continue to challenge the status quo and get equipped to live life differently.