Feeling stuck or overwhelmed by life's challenges? Discover how transforming your perception of obstacles can spark profound personal growth. This episode, inspired by books like "Healing Your Inner Child" and "The Mountain Is You," reveals how rethinking difficulties as opportunities for learning can lead to meaningful change. Hear about my journey with internal dialogue exercises and how they helped me overcome loneliness and feelings of stagnation. We also touch on the significance of discipline, drawing insights from Ryan Holiday's "Discipline is Destiny," and discuss the continuous process of shedding outdated versions of ourselves for a more evolved, resilient mindset.
Breaking free from the chains of past habits and identities can be a daunting journey, but it's one worth taking. In this candid account, I share my struggles with loneliness and a pornography addiction post-breakup, the physical and emotional wake-up calls that spurred me to quit, and the subsequent boost in creativity and productivity. Learn how innovative AI tools played a role in my recovery and creative resurgence, leading to the development of a mystery thriller and a recovery manual. Additionally, we explore the profound influence of music on our emotions, the importance of mindful content consumption, and the pivotal role of community and connection in personal transformation.
Feeling stuck or overwhelmed by life's challenges? Discover how transforming your perception of obstacles can spark profound personal growth. This episode, inspired by books like "Healing Your Inner Child" and "The Mountain Is You," reveals how rethinking difficulties as opportunities for learning can lead to meaningful change. Hear about my journey with internal dialogue exercises and how they helped me overcome loneliness and feelings of stagnation. We also touch on the significance of discipline, drawing insights from Ryan Holiday's "Discipline is Destiny," and discuss the continuous process of shedding outdated versions of ourselves for a more evolved, resilient mindset.
Breaking free from the chains of past habits and identities can be a daunting journey, but it's one worth taking. In this candid account, I share my struggles with loneliness and a pornography addiction post-breakup, the physical and emotional wake-up calls that spurred me to quit, and the subsequent boost in creativity and productivity. Learn how innovative AI tools played a role in my recovery and creative resurgence, leading to the development of a mystery thriller and a recovery manual. Additionally, we explore the profound influence of music on our emotions, the importance of mindful content consumption, and the pivotal role of community and connection in personal transformation.
Hello everybody. Hello, how are you doing so? Today I want to talk about something that I have definitely been struggling with, and I'm sure a lot of us are. It's obstacles and how to handle them. The biggest one recently that I've come to realize with obstacles is understanding how the obstacle affects your personal growth. Because when you look at it as it's a hindrance, then well, yeah, it kind of is. But if you look at it as you're needing to change, you're needing to let go of an old mindset, then it suddenly is becoming a learning lesson, and a really valuable lesson.
Speaker 1:
I've really been struggling with the idea of loneliness and being stuck, but I realize it's not that I am lonely or stuck. My old ego, my old way of thinking, believes what I'm doing, no matter what, I will stay single. I will stay stuck at where I'm at, stuck helping other people succeed in their business, but never building one for myself. I had to sit down. One day I literally went and bought myself a breakfast at a local cafe and had an internal dialogue. Um, there's a really cool book, really. Um, healing your inner child. Um, it's like a green cover with like white chalk drawings and a little like dick figure kid. I don't remember the author's name, but uh, the main thing she teaches is write with your dominant hand the question and then give you the pen or have a separate pen in your non-dominant hand and have a reply. There's a lot of rules into this. I mean, it's not complicated. It's like don't bully the non-dominant hand for its writing and punctuation, don't be mean to it, don't correct it in a rude way, kind of thing, because in essence you're kind of talking to your younger self, because all the nerves in that hand haven't aged or grown. So what I've learned is when I was doing it, I would take my dominant hand, ask the question, and then I would listen to the voice still voice in my head. And I just came to a point I'm like, oh, okay, a little voice that goes hi, hi, how are you? My name is josh. When I think he talks like this, it sounds a little like a little kid from Boston. But so when I heard that voice I'm like, oh, ok, little Josh is saying something.
Speaker 1:
So I bought myself a breakfast and we had a conversation as I'm eating my matcha supreme plate for 12 bucks. Oh, it was so good. But that's when I realized I'm like wow, he told me. He said no, this is the best job you've ever had, the best boss you've ever had. You're just not willing to see it that way. You're looking at it from when you worked night shift and that job growth in that company were slim to none, because I was the only one willing during COVID to scrub shit off a toilet for like $15.50 an hour at night. But now I'm with my uncle. I also have, I'm getting better at managing my time, but now I have free time. I'm waking up early in the morning, going to the gym mostly for myself, but health too and so that's what little Josh was telling me. He said this is the best job ever. You're a I'm paying off. He's like you're paying off all your credit cards, you have a lot of money left over, you live with mom and dad and they let you live here and they're helping you with your car. Like this is the best situation possible for you.
Speaker 1:
So and that's when I realized I need to regularly evaluate and adjust my mindset. The leverage that obstacles are positivity, a chance to shed the ego, the past ego, the. The hard part of letting go of the past, ego though it's, you've built an identity around it. But that's not really you, though. That is an old version of you. It's like software there's always updates. So that's software, version 1.3. But now you're going to 1.4. Not that big of a difference, but it is 4. Not that big of a difference, but it is. But if you do a couple more of those, even if it's micro iterations like 1.003, and you just keep doing that, then 1.004. That's still growth. Now it's going to take longer to hit two, but it's growth.
Speaker 1:
And that's when I realized, especially when I was reading all the different literature, like the most recent book I finished is the Mountain. Is you I don't remember the author offhand, I know it's like maybe Brianna Weiss or something. Yeah, something like that. I highly recommend it because I think she says in her book is similar to what I'm saying is the thing that brings you frustration, where every time you hit an obstacle you're thinking God, it's inevitable. This night you in essence have to let go of it. It's like the mindset of okay, if I can, can't go around, I can't go over or under. How do I do it? Well, the fourth option or fifth option is break through it. So it's making your mind expand and that's where that book especially was helpful and that's made me realize like man, obstacles, like the moment you sit there and you clench your fist or you, you mockingly think in your head, oh you freaking idiot kind of thing, um, dismissing ideas it's. You're not evolving, you're staying stagnant, and the adaptability and evolution is important.
Speaker 1:
Another book I'm working on getting through is discipline, isine is Destiny by Ryan Holiday. That one's really cool. He's the one that inspired me to start going to the gym in the morning, because that's other than the last week of obstacles that came up. It didn't allow me to get proper rest and go to the gym. But I'm readjusting the schedule now. Uh, I really. That's where I realized I'm like I don't have a sense of control. So I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna bring me a sense of control and I still need to finish the book and I am uh. But another one I'm just reading. I bought it at barnes noble angel paperback book um meditations by marcus aurelius, and then Seneca and Petitas they're books too. That one's really nice, yeah, especially the reading. I mean I'm not becoming some diehard Stoic, but adopting some of the Stoic ideas in my evolutions and my updates. It's actually really nice.
Speaker 1:
It's also helped me with my recovery and identity shift when using pornography as of today I'm recording this I hit my time frame, so I am 31 days clean, and you know, the biggest one for me is realizing it's just letting it go. I was using constantly in the past because I felt like I wasn't worthy of a woman. So I had to do this because at least I could imagine a girlfriend kind of thing could tie into a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy, but I'll talk about that in a minute. But the hardness that came from that, though, was I did it since I was 12. I'm 31 now, giving it up Almost 20 years.
Speaker 1:
It was a hard identity shift to get rid of. For me it was especially when I first broke it off with my ex. I really just got the super hornies. I was lonely, desperate, needing dopamine from all the pain. And then I had a few incidences early 2024 where I got hit in the head on my birthday and had to go to ER and get some staples in my head. And then I also, two months later to the day, fell off a ladder and cracked my face open and had to go to the doctors and get stitched up. So that's especially when I realized it's kind of weird to say out loud, but when I was watching a certain porn, on the first fall I was tricking myself and saying, oh, I'm going to use dopamine to ease the pain, it's okay, it's like a free Tylenol kind of thing and it's more fun.
Speaker 1:
I went on Pornhub and I found a video. My favorite, formerly favorite porn actress was Natasha Nice and I was like, wow, she has like a um, like a fertility goddess figure and uh. But I was really confused. I was watching it and like going and going and she, um, essentially did it with trannies and I literally heard like my brain split in half when I came, like I was screaming at myself. I actually went for a walk in the hills nearby and was just like what the fuck did you just do? What the fuck did you just do, kind of thing. That's especially when I started de-escalating. The other one was when I started using AI porn. That was one hell of a trip. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:
The ability to create whatever you want, however you want it. I feel so bad for future generations of men and women. That's going to be a brutal one to get out of because I mean, why should you give it up kind of thing. But, um, it was, I think it was like March 11th or something like that. Yeah, um, I, essentially my parents went out for a concert. I said, okay, feel free, indulge, have fun and, uh, binge as hard as you want, but from this day on we are not using. So I didn't. I think it was like climax, like six ish. Um, that that's where the week was a hell of a week of a withdraw. But, um, sleepless nights are real, by the way, if anyone tells you it's not true, oh, that's bullshit. Um, but um, the biggest.
Speaker 1:
Once I gave that up, I made a contract with myself and gave that up, my identity shifted and suddenly my creativity increased. Now I still have a problem with actually typing and writing stories, but this is where I actually it was back in november, I think it was after I broke it off with my ex, a couple months after I broke it off and then but it was still while I was in therapy with my therapist, christian student training um is when I bought this 50 unlimited transcribing, unlimited um, note proof with AI, started writing my stories more consistent. After the second break with AI Eagle break, by the way, not just literal break, and that's when I realized I was like, oh my God, I can write stories now. I've studied the structure. Well, I'm still struggling with pacing, but I'm getting better. Um, but like, the narratives and the emotional twists and the drama and controversies keep you hooked and reading.
Speaker 1:
I already knew that I just couldn't write it. Whatever it is, when you put me in front of a keyboard, I can't. It's like hunt and peck. I know how to type normal with all 10 fingers, but when it comes to creativity, it's like hunt and peck. I know I had a type normal with all 10 fingers, but when it comes to creativity, it's like hunt and peck. I feel like I'm like a five-year-old again, which could be another reason why I need to write like that. But, um, and I think I will on the in my free time, as I think about it out loud now, oh my creativity, oh my gosh, has gone through the roof. And now, especially with this one prompt, I figured out it can generate almost 3 000 words. I can spell out the whole scene with everything. I was listening, and it will rewrite it and fill in everything I need. And it's so great. I'm like, oh my god, I can actually like, wow, look, this is exactly what I was thinking kind of thing. This is exactly what I saw when I was writing this.
Speaker 1:
The whole bullet points out so I'm working on a mystery thriller, definitely psychological, but there's also cult, and the main character his name is Marcus Blackwood. He's a former military PI. He starts off kind of noir with music and all that, and then essentially Fiona Sinclair, I believe, is her name yeah, Fiona Sinclair and she comes in presenting all the ideas to him and like we're having trouble, people are being kidnapped, but also there's this dangerous magical artifact kind of thing, and so they all go out. There's a little bit of spiciness in the middle. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm going to do that, though I've talked to I've gotten mixed reviews on that, but yeah, so I'm working on that. But I'm also working on my manual for recovery and honestly it's the same thing.
Speaker 1:
I figured out how to write a nonfiction prompt. Surprisingly, it's hard for ChatGPT to write nonfiction. I figured out a prompt for that. I also figured out an editor too. Figured out a prompt for that. I also figured out an editor too. So I have a bunch of these really powerful um prompts for speech to note, but uh. So yeah, I'm now, I feel, happy like today. Part of the reason this is flowing a little bit better is I actually told my ideas of speech to note and it's given me an outline. Um, but, uh, I'm excited for all this. I've been dreaming and talking about this for years, since like 11 or 12. But now I'm actually doing it. I'm going to get it done.
Speaker 1:
Now I want to go into self-fulfilling prophecies. For self-fulfilling prophecies it's a very quirky thing because there's no science behind it, but everyone knows it does exist, but you can't inherently prove it. My personal belief is why I don't really post on social media, why I don't really interact with social media, especially TikTok's, the worst of them all. But is, whatever you consume you become. Think about that. Whatever you consume you become. So I I can give you a really good example.
Speaker 1:
Actually, when I was in high school, um, I used to listen to slipknot, disturbed a couple other, really aggressive, angry, and I was the living embodiment of those songs. I was angry, fighting, starting shit. Relatively recently well, at least that I can consciously track I've slowly been turning off my music and I only listen to happy ambient music now, or, um, if it is lyrics. Uh, what I'm doing is, um, based off the, what you consume, you become is listening to manifestations that I create, mostly with speech. To note um, and the biggest one. So I then I have found this really cool audio sound like Nirvana waves or whatever on a stock photo place that gave stock audio also. Um, so that's another one I listen on repeat because I've because of that. If whatever you listen, you become, so it says I am successful in the present tense.
Speaker 1:
I am a very creative writer that doesn't have any blocks. My ideas flow freely and are evergreen or brainwashing, but it's working. I'm much more creative, I'm much more confident. The one I'm more recently working on is manifesting a girl because I refuse to use dating apps. That's another one. If you use dating apps, especially as a man, but I know it's really bad for women too. For the ladies listening, you have a different problem. You have all the fish in the sea that want you and most of them are just shit. That for the ladies listening, you have a different problem. You have all the fish in the sea that want you and most of them are just shit, that kind of thing. And then there's the men who there's a misproportionate amount of men wanting this little pool of women. Yeah, but it'll destroy your self-esteem, self-confidence, everything.
Speaker 1:
I think it was your brain on porn that told me most, if not all, users. Um, on dating apps are avoidance. That right, there was like holy shit, that explains everything. It's not inherently that I'm bad, you would just get the avoidance. But also he mentioned he couldn't really correlate it, but he said more than likely they're also narcissistic. I sat there and I'm like, oh my God, that explains my last three X's and the horrifying stuff I went through Weird ass stories, oh my God, I could go on a whole tangent with that. But that's why I won't use dating apps. So I'm working on a manifestation and I believe it's working. I have to believe it.
Speaker 1:
If you're interested in that, by the way, if you made it this far in the description, you can actually click a link and text my podcast. You can actually text me and if you leave your number, I might even text you back on my Google Voice number. You never know, just saying on my google voice number. Uh, you never know, just saying so. If you have any critiques, ideas or just want to put me on blast, go for it. I want to really use that feature.
Speaker 1:
So, but music especially. I forgot which book I was reading, but essentially music bypasses everything and it gets you in a hypnotic state which goes back to where I was as a young man in high school, where it says I was an angry, rebellious person. Well, yeah, I was hypnotically kind of reconditioned to become that. So it's be very careful on what you consume. And yeah, that's about it. Have a good one, everyone. If you questions, comments, if you want to text me I really want someone to text me. I've been having a conversation with myself. But have a good one and till next time, stay safe, my friend.