How To Start Therapy

Have you been thinking about starting therapy? If the thought of going to therapy scares you, my friend, you are not alone. In this episode, I delve into the process of starting therapy, offering practical tips and insights if you are considering taking this journey. From overcoming common barriers to finding the right therapist, we explore the crucial steps to initiate and sustain a meaningful therapeutic relationship. Whether you're navigating mental health challenges or seeking personal growth, join me in the tea-tasting room to tune in to discover how to embark on the path to healing and self-discovery through therapy.

Some Therapy Resources

• Psychology Today  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
• Therapy Den https://www.therapyden.com/
• Therapy for Black Girls https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
• Better Help https://www.betterhelp.com/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and wet student. Join me in the tea tasting mode where we spill the tea and find and balance and promote a positive living while doing it all. Hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I hope you have done something to pour into yourself Within the last time you heard my voice within the last few days, because we know again, as we are on our health and wellness journey, it's important that we're taking time for ourselves.

Speaker 1: 0:41

We're taking time to pour into ourselves so that we can show the best version of ourselves. The last time you heard my voice I probably was telling you about my migraines. We're still here dealing with that. But at the end of the day, I am just pushing through. I'm just trying to find different coping mechanisms because for some reason, my medication they're not working the way I need them to work these days, so we're going to have to fix that. But I am working on that.

Speaker 1: 1:06

But the tea of the week I've been still juggling my usual three teas. These last few weeks it's been the Jasmine tea that's been used through I drink at night to calm me, so I can have a peaceful night rest, because my migraines are so bad that sometimes they affect the way I sleep. And then also I'm a very busy girl trying to find balance in life. I have a lot going on I have to think about, so sometimes it prevents me from getting the quality sleep that I need to function as my best self. But I am working on that. So I've been doing Jasmine tea, I've been doing the lemon, garlic and ginger tea and my favorite grass all lemon grass tea that they have been in rotation for the last couple of weeks, because that's what seems to be working and I'm of the mind that if it's not broke, then fix it. Because, again, if you are someone who struggles with migraines, you know how it is.

Speaker 1: 1:56

If a remedy is working because you know I'm from Antigua, so we go and drink tea first of all for everything but if that remedy is working, why should I try to fix that? You know what I mean? No, so I am sticking with that so I can ensure that I eliminate any sort of migraine, because I'm not in a position right now in my life to be having crippling migraines, because I have my non-profit squad, life cares. We have our work, the flow health expo that's coming up in Antigua on May 25th. We need deep interplanet. So I cannot afford, as a founder, as a leader, to be crippled by my migraine.

Speaker 1: 2:28

I am in grad school, there's midterms coming up, there's so many other things, there's so many other projects. So I'm just doing everything that I possibly can to ensure that I am doing everything to eliminate or prevent a migraine, but also, sometimes, I'm realizing that being anxious, stressing and these different things are also a trigger for my migraine, which is going to bring me to today's episode, because we're going to be talking about how to start therapy. Or if you're in therapy already, this episode is still for you. So keep following me, keep listening to this episode. If you're someone who is considering going to therapy, but you have these preconceived notions about what therapy is, this episode is also for you. If you are someone who grew up in a household or in a culture where therapy was non-existent, again this episode is for you. So stay with me, stay with me, we're going to get through this. We are going to get through to this episode. I'm not going to keep you here in the T-Testimum, tula, but I just want to talk about some things that helped me on my journey to seeking therapy as well.

Speaker 1: 3:30

I'm not sure if you're someone right now under the sound of my voice, if you, within the last week, the last day, the last several months, the last several years, you find yourself feeling anxious. You find yourself feeling overwhelmed, unhappy, or you're not even sure what you're feeling at all. You're just out here, existing, because you know what I have to get up to go to work, I have to get to go to school, I have to get up to be a mom, a wife, a sister so many different roles you may play in your life and you're just existing, not knowing what you're truly feeling. I am going to say that this is your sign, that you know that vessel we are vessel, we are the car Our bodies is like a car that we know we got to check that check engine light. I think this is where you should start thinking about seeing a therapist. And I use that check engine or that car analogy because I'll share a quick joke with you.

Speaker 1: 4:21

One day I was at work and it was my coworker and I were going somewhere. We're leaving the office and I think I know I'll do the driving. And I remember she came in my car and she saw the engine light, the check engine light on. She saw my tire needed in a tire sign that comes on your dashboard. I say you need to get your tire. She saw that being on. She saw my gas light was on, like every single light you can possibly think of when you start your car. That should not be on if the car is supposed to be running normal or being service. Every light was on and I was at that point. I was just over this car because, like you know, every time I fix something is always something else. But it just that analogy came to mind because I'm just thinking my car was still running but I was running the car down into the ground with all these different lights being on and of course I had to go and get it fixed because I mean it's not safe for myself or even any other drivers on their road. So my car is working fine.

Speaker 1: 5:16

Let's not put any judgment there. You know, if you're a woman, sometimes we just too basic, we don't have time to be doing all these different things. So if you're a single woman, but of course also if you are a single woman. We are independent, we know how to take care of what needs to be taken care of. But I just use that analogy because she was laughing at me. She's like Chania, oh my goodness, everything is on in here, you know.

Speaker 1: 5:36

But that was my sign that I needed, even though I've been driving for the last two weeks, seeing all the lights on in my car. But you know, having her in my car, seeing the lights and hearing the noise, and she's like, oh my God, tony, you need to take your car to get service. Of course that prompted me, even though I knew, but that prompted me to go and take my car to get service to my mechanic. And now my car is back to running like it's a brand new car. So I use that analogy because, again, you know, many of us, we're working around feeling anxious, we're feeling overwhelmed, you know, we're unhappy and we're just not sure what we are feeling and this could be a sign that we need to seek a therapist. Now, of course, when you think about talking to a therapist, it can that that inner serve can also feel like it's overwhelming. You know you're not alone, because that was me and plenty of us put off seeking treatment, just like I put off taking my car to be service, or we ignore the symptoms Because, again, when it comes to mental health, it's a very it's very easy for us to brush it off as just not something that's important.

Speaker 1: 6:37

You know, again, when you're going up in a society that even I go up in like going to a therapist basically you are being deemed crazy and not crazy in a good way. It was as crazy as in you need to go to a rented facility and it was looked on upon, it was stigmatized as well. And if you've been listening to me in the tea tasting room these last the last year at least you'll know that I'm talking about being on a journey, being on our health and wellness journey. If you're new here, something that I try to ensure that a theme that is consistent with tea return is that we're working towards achieving optimal health and well being. You know it's often when we think about mental health again that we cannot talk about physical health and not talk about our mental health or emotional health or our spiritual health. Like our overall health is a holistic we got to look at from a holistic standpoint and most times in our society and in the different cultures that you were raised in, our mental health often seems overlooked or stigmatized in society.

Speaker 1: 7:32

When we talk about therapy, you know therapy essentially serves as a powerful tool for nurturing and, of course, maintaining our mental health. For me, therapy, you know it, offers the support and guidance in navigating the different challenges that we may face in life. You know, as we continue to grow, as we continue to experience life, you know we start experiencing life in a different way. Our mental health can sometimes suffer because we're not giving it the care and attention that it needs. We're nurturing our mental health.

Speaker 1: 8:02

I think for me, as I was growing up, for me, you know, life was great. You know if, when you're younger, you have nothing to worry about, you're not worrying about bills, you're just getting up, you're going to school, you're playing with your friends. You know food is being provided for, shelter is being provided for, even if it was not it may not have been in the best circumstances, depending on how and where you grow up you know your parents or your caretakers did the very best that they could to ensure that you had what you needed, with whatever resources they may have had. For me, I wouldn't say I was someone who was opposed to therapy. But again, growing up in my house or growing up in the college that I did, mental health was not something that was being pushed for us. For us, we were more pushed towards talking to our pastor, talking to a trusted adult ie the pastor as well about, let's say, our business or what's bothering us.

Speaker 1: 8:52

But as I continue to grow, I'm realizing that this has not been nothing, any past, because I know you have your role in society Don't get me wrong, because you're here to guide us. But I realized that not every individual had the skills or the tools or the knowledge to essentially deal with whatever issues I may have been dealing with or whatever issues you may have been dealing with, and I know that for me, I just realized in the last couple of years that I always there's a point in my time where I was just overwhelmed and I was just anxious Like I felt like I was overwhelmed by anxiety and a lot of uncertainty in my life as well. Of course, you would have probably mentioned about feeling like I'm not a nurse in school, having to pivot and figuring out what my life was going to be. It was an uncertain period of my life. I didn't know am I going to be a nurse, am I going to like what my career, what my life was going to be like? And I remember during that time, you know, I was doing my best to cope on my own. Of course I had a great support system by way of my family and the few friends that I considered who understood my situation during that period, that period in time for me, but I just remember feeling like I was just struggling for any clarity or peace of mind, like I talk about not sleeping well the last few weeks because of you know all the different things that I'm doing, but back then I was. I was lacking clarity, I was lacking peace of mind, I just did not know what to do. And again for me, going to therapy, it was like no, I'm not telling nobody my business, I don't want the therapist to judge me and my family or judge me and my situation, like that's how ignorant essentially to the situation or ignorant to what therapy could do for me. That's how I was. I was extremely ignorant. I kind of even denied it. I was as ignorant as they came when it came to therapy.

Speaker 1: 10:36

But I think I remember, and I kind of remember the exact year, but it was very recent. I think it might have been 2020. We were in the knee deep into the pandemic where life was just going haywire again. You know, I graduated, like my bachelor's of science in public health that year, was not able to graduate, have an actual graduation, it was virtual, again, coming from someone who was depressed because I failed a lot of nursing school. So I felt like a failure, not only to myself but to my family, even though they didn't make me feel that way, but I carried that guilt, I felt that way. Then finally finding paper 10 and realizing that, wow, you know, this public health is something that I could actually do. But then again, no, I got to the end of that time where I had to graduate and I was got generated with honors and you know, I was excited to hear my name Tanya Ambrose I think it was Magna Cum Laude. Couldn't hear that because we were going through a pandemic.

Speaker 1: 11:28

So I was just so much spiraling and just did not want to always lean on my sisters or my best friends, you know, because, again, they are great listeners, they're great support. But I feel like sometimes some of our issues we need to have a skilled professional so that they can give us that guidance to work it through. Because, again, what we've come to realize, or what I've come to realize that I may not always have the capacity to deal with any friends that I have. They have an issue and I'm the kind of person because we all know I am working on overcoming being a people pleaser, so it doesn't matter. I've I always say I have the gift of compartmentalizing my feelings or my emotions.

Speaker 1: 12:04

If a friend is coming to me with an issue, sometimes I could be having the lowest of days and I will put aside that time just to have that conversation with them, because they're looking for a listening ear or sometimes just some advice. I have grown through therapy that now I know how to establish my boundaries. So before I may call to talk about an issue I'm having, I tend to ask my friends if they have the capacity or the time. Or if someone is calling me and they want to talk about something, I would tell them I don't have the capacity right now. Sometimes that's still a feedback because you just never know. You don't want to be, you were the only ear for a person because you didn't have the capacity. Then something ends up happening. So I still I'm still working through that, but I think it was then I made a decision to start therapy. So, talking to my best friend who at the time has started therapy as well, I ended up learning, you know, valuable coping strategies through therapy.

Speaker 1: 12:57

I get inside into my thought patterns because, let me tell you, if you've ever had a conversation with me, sometimes on a deeper level, you're wondering, tanya, why are you even thinking that deep? I don't think everything on my thought patterns may not be to me, they're normal, but to you, listening or to you, if you have a conversation with me, you may not understand my thought pattern. You know what. I just also understand that I will discover that I was. I had found this newfound sense of resilience as well by starting therapy. Therapy provided me the support I needed to navigate and still provide the support I need to navigate the different challenges that life may may may throw at me. And also, you know, it helps to boost, boost my confidence and my self-awareness.

Speaker 1: 13:38

I always said that I wasn't always the most self-aware person. With therapy I become that and I've been able to establish some boundaries at some time. I still move the goalpost because I can say I am an over. I'm working on overcoming being a people pleaser Like I. I thought I got over that part but turns out I'm still in the in that circle of people pleasing, but not as much because I can do it with establishing different boundaries. So that was kind of like my way in getting into therapy instead of dealing with talking to my siblings or talking to my friends about the same thing over and over and over. I'm not necessarily seen a change because I wasn't always receptive to what they were telling me as well. Of course I've, I've taken the role of talking to my pastors, but then you know, to be honest, my experience with some of them, you know, they just they just developed like some other level of distrust, to be quite honest, and that's all I'll say about that, thank you. That's definitely how I entered the realm of therapy. I was not judging, I didn't know. My first therapy session I literally cried. I cried like a baby because I didn't realize I had all these pent up emotions inside of me.

Speaker 1: 14:41

Before we get into understanding therapy, I wanna share some statistics and some research because, you know, on public health girl, some gonna have some sort of stats as it relates to all mental health. So, according to the American Psychological Association, therapy has been shown to be effective in treating a wide range of mental health concerns, which includes anxiety, depression and PTSD. According to a research that was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, they found that approximately 75% of individuals who participate in therapy experience significant improvement in their symptoms. I'll start again Approximately 75% of individuals who participate in therapy experience significant improvement in their symptoms. I've had individuals who have told me oh, what is therapy gonna do for me? Why would I wanna tell my business to this therapist? What can they do? And, as you can see, this research has shown that a good 75% of us who participate in that experience we have improvement in our symptoms and just sometimes, again, you're able to talk to somebody who's not coming from a place of judgment or who doesn't have any reason to even judge you as well. So let's talk about understanding therapy. So now therapy.

Speaker 1: 15:55

If you don't know, or didn't know or didn't think as far into it, therapy is a collaborative process between a client and a trained professional that is in at addressing emotional, psychological or even behavioral issues, and there are many techniques that some therapists may use. If you're someone who you're already in therapy, you may know some of these techniques, different techniques and modalities, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. They psychotherapy, and there's also family therapy, which is always tailored to meet the unique needs of each client. So, whatever issues that may be happening that you don't feel comfortable taking to a family member or trusted individual, your therapist again, they're gonna be a trained or licensed professional who are in a position to meet your unique needs, depending on what your need base is. And of course, when we talk about therapy there are some misconceptions, because for me, one time I was like I don't want my therapist and my business is gonna judge me. So I even became to. It even came to a point where I wasn't even as open as I wanted to be in therapy, even though I cried in my first therapy session. I think I cried out of being embarrassed versus just getting the emotions out to think about it.

Speaker 1: 17:05

But some of the misconceptions or I'll probably just talk about one is that it's only for that's one that's very prevalent and I see even in my line of work it's only for individuals with severe mental illnesses. So we think that someone who may be schizophrenic or someone who may be PTSD, who have been to war or have something traumatic that has happened to them. We only think that that's the only reason or that's the only types of people who should be seeking therapy, and that is definitely an absolute no. No, in my reality and in your reality, therapy can benefit anyone seeking any sort of personal growth, like myself, any sort of self-improvement or support during the challenging times. For me, that was when I was going through my favorite, when I feel like a nursing school. I wish if I had a therapist, then I probably wouldn't have made some of the decisions that I even made as well, to be quite honest with you. But again, therapy can benefit anyone who is seeking personal growth, self-improvement or support during any sort of challenging times.

Speaker 1: 18:09

And I will say this because I had this thought and I even there was in therapy with my therapist and I was like, like you know, let's fix my situation, let's fix me, tell me what to do, because I'm tired of just talking, talking like, tell me what the heck to do. And she's like you know, therapy's not about fixing, it's not about curing someone, but it's about providing, like, a safe and supportive space for us to explore and heal and also grow as well. I think she had told me that in our second session. But again, like I said pretty much a week or two ago in my session, I was like you know what I'm tired of this assignment to do, because I'm gonna freeze them out of cross-hold. I don't know what to do. I didn't want to face what I was experiencing and what I was going through during that time. So I don't want to get the idea that going to therapy is gonna be always gonna be fixed and always gonna be a cure. It's basically providing you a safe and supportive space from a non-judgmental place as well, so that you can explore, heal and grow as an individual. In the beginning, you may have heard me give you the analogy about the check engine light in my car, so I wanna talk about recognizing the signs that you it might be time for you to seek therapy, and that could include the persistent feelings of sadness or anxiety, like myself, difficulty coping with any sort of stressors, changes in your sleep or appetite AKA like myself and any sort of strange relationship. It could be from a parental standpoint, it could be from an intimate relationship, it could be from a friendship, anything like that. It's time for you to seek my therapist, someone who you can talk to and who can give you that guidance. I want you to pay attention to any changes in your moods, your behavior, even your functioning, and seek help if it's gonna be interfering with your daily life or overall wellbeing.

Speaker 1: 19:54

For me, even at the time when I first started therapy, I didn't necessarily think I needed therapy. I was just set up to have it into my sisters. I was just trying to talk to my friends about the same thing over and over and over and over and over. I didn't know who to turn to. I saw something that I was having, like I mean, you know what? I'm just gonna say? I've had suicide in thought. I don't think I would go through with that, to be honest, but I've had. I'm like, why am I here? Why am I keep fighting? I didn't have the tools to really cope or understand why I was having these thoughts. So why was I feeling this way? Why was I losing sleep? Why am I sweating in my sleep? Why am I not having a desire to eat or to even do anything? Or why am I even taking on a particular relationship? The way in which I'm taking it on, that's not what I can see with my two eyes, or my four eyes when I'm wearing my glasses, that that relationship was not benefiting me. You know, as it relates to friendships or even like a intimate relationship.

Speaker 1: 20:50

Why was I accepting some of these things and I think that was my biggest reason for also starting therapy was my why I was accepting these sort of treatments from individuals, or why my mood was changing, you know. So it's very important that you, that you, that you're in tune with your body, with your mind, so you can, you can see Any change in that behavior, that mood, and if it's going to affect how you function, because, again, I am an overachiever and when I'm realizing that I wasn't doing the things that I was passionate about, or I kept putting things on, I was like you know what? No, it's time for me to really and truly get back or really dive into what's going on in my head with my therapist. So that's one of the things that made me, or encouraged me, to go to therapy, encouraged me to be honest with my therapist as well. You know, again, we think about therapy is not something that's been normalized. Of course, we're having a conversation. The conversations is happening in society, in different groups and different organizations, and so we are bringing focus to therapy more, so it's been more normalized.

Speaker 1: 21:54

But I wanted to know that you know seeking therapy is it's a great step towards yourself. You know we talk about self care again. Sometimes our ideas of self care could just mean going to punch with my, with my friends, or getting my nails done, getting the massage, getting the cell, getting a facial and all these things are actually part of self care. Yes, but when you're seeking therapy, it's a step towards your self care and your mental wellness. Remember, we're not.

Speaker 1: 22:21

We can't talk about our overall health and wellness if we're not even dealing with our mind. It's not a sign of being weak or failure. I've had individuals saying oh, why are you going to therapy? What can that therapy do for you? Or you just weak, or you should just do x, y, z. Or I've had individuals telling me oh, you need to just pray. And of course I'm afraid, because I'm a praying woman, there's no shame in that game, because one thing about me, past as honey, is going to come out and I'm going to put on a piece of praying.

Speaker 1: 22:43

But, however, sometimes we look at therapy as a sign of weakness or failure and it's not that. It's a sign that you're ready to take the next step into your overall health and wellness. So now, when we talk about our physical health I did an episode about health screenings we should be paying attention to or making time for, and on that was also our mental health. But I think about it when we prioritize our physical health by seeking medical attention, making sure we get no blood work done, we are getting our different other physical aspects of our health done. We also need to prioritize our mental health by seeking support from a therapist. Sometimes, when you're that patient client or patient provider relationship, you should have that sort of relationship where you should be comfortable enough with talking to your care provider. They may not be a skilled mental health professional, because that's not what they're trained to do, but it's important that you have that conversation with them when you're having thoughts that may not be as healthy as you would like them to be, or when you're just feeling overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: 23:44

For me, let me tell you about me. I am taking anxiety medication and I just said the word and I'm just like should I have said that on the podcast? I don't know, because again, one part of my brain is thinking I'm going to be judged. The other part is just what? If I don't talk about it, then how can I help you? And I started taking these pills about three, four months. Let me see.

Speaker 1: 24:06

Technically, I started getting them and taking them in November of 2023, but I wasn't as consistent. I went on vacation and I was living my best life. I had no stress in the world during that time on vacation in Dubai that I stopped taking the meds because I was like you know, I'm happy, I feel healthy, I feel good, I feel loved, I feel taken care of. I was living my best life. Like I said, in Dubai, however, I realized that in order for the medication to work, I have to be consistent with that. But yeah, so I had that conversation with my doctor while I was talking. I had that conversation with my therapist at first, which we're working, going through the motion and the conversations we were having and again she encouraged me to speak to my primary care provider and had that conversation with my primary care provider about how I was feeling.

Speaker 1: 24:49

Luckily, we've had this conversation before where I would tell her you know, I am not sleeping, I'm not eating, I'm always stressed, I feel overwhelmed, I'm not even taking deep breaths. I'm like I need help with breathing, like literally that inhaled exhale Tanya was not doing that. Like I would have to set a reminder on my phone to take a deep breath, like I'm pretty sure I was putting it in and out but I wasn't conscious of that. I oftentimes found myself holding my breath or clenching something and had that conversation with her. She's taking it while you're in school, you're working, you have a non-private time, you're doing all these different things. It could just be an elm. You're overwhelmed, so you may want to cut back on what you're doing and I'm like, well, you know I don't have time for that because I have a goal for myself. I have goals that things I need to achieve, you know, in my life. So cutting back was not going to be an option.

Speaker 1: 25:37

But then life became overwhelming and I had to cut back from some things. I'm still doing the thing. I had to pick and choose what was going to take priority versus what could wait, and that was a very long and hard decision to make. But that was my first time having a conversation with my primary care provider about that decision of mental health. She even gave me a referral where I had to go I think it was a clinical psychologist, I can't remember, so I don't want to sit around saying but I had to do a referral where they did this test on me to see because I thought I had ADHD and anxiety, to be honest. But I did a referral, turns out that I didn't have any anxiety or ADHD, based on, I guess, my responses.

Speaker 1: 26:12

But again, restarting therapy because I did stop therapy. But that's not what this episode is about. We started therapy and, having a conversation with my therapist, she encouraged me to speak to my primary care provider and that's when I began taking anxiety medication to cope with my anxiety. Because, again, when you wear many hats like I do and I'm sure you also wear many hats sometimes life can become overwhelming. But sometimes you know I just need help from not only my therapist but from my medication and I'm working towards on having to be dependent upon that medication. Like I said, I'm giving myself a good six months because I haven't been as consistent. I've only been consistent. I can send off for the last two months between January and February as well. So, yeah, so that's definitely the personal story as to why I'm encouraging you to start therapy because it's very, very important because, again, life can get overwhelming. We don't want to always burden the people who are close to us, because they are trying their best. We are trying to hang on for their life at this point in time, given the way or the climate of the world right now.

Speaker 1: 27:11

So, before I go, I do want to give some tips for starting therapy or for you finding a therapist. I will say start by asking for recommendations from your trusted friends and family. My friend was the one who told me you know what you should seek therapy. Of course, we were living in two different states at the time, so I had to reach out to individuals who are new within that state if they had any recommendations for any therapist. Or you could also research online by using the online platform, such as Psychology Today or Good Therapy, or even Therapy for Black Girls. I had found my therapist the first time around from Therapy for Black Girls and I put all this link to these resources in the show notes so you can have them.

Speaker 1: 27:55

So, tips for starting therapy you want to reach out by asking for recommendations from your trusted friends and family members if they recommend someone, or you can reach out to online these online platforms to seek and find a therapist. You also want to think about factors such as you know what is the therapist specializing in. If you're looking for something in a particular area, you know the location and maybe what the approach is when it comes to a therapist. What do they feel? How can you guys relate? How can they help you? So nothing is wrong in scheduling an initial consultation with your therapist. You can also have different consultations with different therapists so you can see which one you feel is the right fit for you. My first time around, I was looking at the therapy for Black Girls online directory and I was going through quite a few of them in my area and I just kept going back to this particular therapist that for some reason, the energy just from the picture from online to me just felt really organic, and that's when I went to my therapist. But that may not be the case for you. So you also may want to just schedule various consultations with different therapists to see which is going to be the right fit for you.

Speaker 1: 29:07

Of course, you want to ensure when it comes to addressing your concerns. You know it's going to be very natural for us to feel apprehensive, because I was that way, uncertain about even starting therapy. But remember that these feelings are normal and as you become more comfortable with your therapist because, again, your therapist is there to create a safe and supportive space for you You'll continue to engage and have that conversation so you can be on your way for your mental wellness. Remember, like I said in the beginning, therapy is a collaborative process and your therapist is there to support you every step of the way, like my therapist is. So don't be afraid to ask questions or force any concerns you may have. They are licensed, they are skilled, they know what they're doing and no question is dumb. Whatever feelings you may have, you want to ensure that you're asking your therapist these questions and expressing your feelings, of course, so that those are some things that you may want to do when it comes to finding the therapist, and I'm going to list some of the resources you can look at.

Speaker 1: 30:09

When it comes to finding the therapist, I encourage you to look at online directories. My first go around with therapy, I was meeting online. My second time around, this time around, I'm meeting in person and for me, right now, I do love the in-person therapy session versus the online, but, again, you pick your therapist based on what works for you and your availability and your schedule, given that you know, again, life is hectic. So you want to search on some reputable online directories, such as Psychology Today, good Therapy there's one that's called Therapy Then, and then, of course, therapy for Black Girls, because that's where I found my therapist the first time around and, of course, you can go based on recommendations from your friends or close family members or even coworkers. My therapist that I have right now, she can highly recommended from a friend of mine and she has not disappointed me at all. So, again, these are some ways you can find the right therapist for you. Again, you can schedule a consultation so you can make sure that this person is the right fit for you. I'm big on energy, so you want to ensure that you're having these concentrations so you can pick up on the energy of your therapist. But, of course, you're going in there with an open mind and the people about these platforms that they provide very detailed profiles as a picture of how the therapist looks and they have their reviews. So then, that way, you're able to make an informed decision when it comes to selecting your therapist.

Speaker 1: 31:29

You also may want to think about private therapists, you know. You may want to think about community mental health centers. Depending on where you are in the world, you may have access to some free resources or any sort of community mental health centers If you, depending, again, where you are in the world. They are employee assistant programs. At my job, they have that where you are able to speak to someone. Of course, if you're in school, there's also that free resources where you can speak to a counselor as well. So utilize some of these free resources that you may have available, again depending on where you are in the world. And, of course, there's therapy platforms like BetterHelp or Talkspace as well that may be more cost efficient or effective for you as well. And, of course, they offer flexibility and accessibility for those who may have limited financial resources or even transportation as well, depending on where you are in the world.

Speaker 1: 32:21

Again, you want to make sure that your insurance may cover your therapy sessions. Sometimes they may not because, again, we live in a world where money rules the world, so you also want to ensure that your insurance may be covering your therapy. Find out what your co-payment may be or, just, if not, again try to find these resources that are listed and I'm going to put them in the show notes that offer the flexibility and resources for individual with limited financial resources as well. So these are some things that you want to consider when it comes to starting therapy. You know, of course, the therapy duration may be very depending on what your needs are, but that's not for me to say it, that's just conversation between you and your therapist, and I'm going to wrap this episode up because I feel like I'm talking and I'm saying a lot, but I just wanted you guys to get the basis of what it means to start therapy.

Speaker 1: 33:12

Again, we cannot talk about our overall health and well-being if we're not looking at our mental health. Of course, when it comes to mental health and going to therapy, it is often overlooked and stigmatized in society. But by me talking to you, sharing my personal experiences with anxiety, or just sharing my personal experience, I hope this is able to encourage you to go and seek therapy as well. There are lots of resources online that helps you. Even if you're in you have limited finances, they're there to help you and I will list those in the show notes because, again, it's very important that we take the step now we'll be proactive when it comes to our mental health. So you want some tips again for realizing the science.

Speaker 1: 33:57

When it's time to seek therapy is when you have a persistent feeling of sadness, anxiety, difficulty coping with stressors or any sort of change in your sleep or appetite and any sort of strain relationship. Pay attention to your changes in mood, behavior and your day-to-day functioning as well. Let's normalize having conversations. Let's normalize seeing when I'm okay In order to find a therapist. Some tips you can reach out by asking for recommendations from trusted friends or family. You can think about the location or what approach you may want when it comes to finding a therapist. Of course, don't be afraid to address any concerns you may have. And again, you can find a therapist on these various online directories that I'm gonna list in the show notes for you as well, because some of them are cost-effective. Again, you're gonna decide what works best for you. And, as I go, you know therapy.

Speaker 1: 34:50

When it comes to starting therapy, it can be a very daunting feeling, it can make you feel embarrassed, it can make you become shy, but again, I will tell you and take it from me it is very, very courageous and it's an empowering step that you're making towards healing and step discovery. The world would be a much better place if we all decided to take that bold step into seeking therapy. So sometimes the way how I think is hard for me to get my thought process out. But going to therapy now, I now know how to cope. I'm getting these tools that I can add into my toolbox for what's so, when life gets overwhelming, I know what I need to do. When I find myself not breathing or clenching, I know what I need to do. So, again, it's just a very important step you can take towards yourself discovery and yourself improvement as well.

Speaker 1: 35:37

And remember, again, you're not alone. Take it from me. I shared my business in a way today that I didn't want to share as it relates to my mental health, but you know you're not alone. Support is available to help you navigate this journey. Send me a DM if you want to talk to me first. Again, I'm not a mental health professional, but I have resources or I have someone who I can direct you to. But again, if you just want to have a regular conversation with me, my DMs are open at T with Tonya podcast.

Speaker 1: 36:04

And remember, just take the first step today by reaching out to a therapist or a mental health professional because, again, we cannot prioritize our overall wellbeing if we're not prioritizing our mental health. And as I go, I will leave you with this affirmation of the week, and the affirmation is I am committed to my own growth and healing, both physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I am committed to my own growth and healing, both physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. As you continue to think about making these steps, I encourage you to keep repeating that affirmation over and over and over. I want to thank you again for joining me here in the Tea Tasting Room and I encourage you to explore the idea of mental health and seeking therapy as well.

Speaker 1: 36:57

If you have any questions again or you want to just have a simple conversation with me, my DMs are open over at T with Tonya podcast. And remember I am committed to my own growth and healing, both physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I love you for listening. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tonya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tonya podcast, be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple, us Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.