The Power of Rest For Health With Sara Springer

In this week's episode of Tea With Tanya, Sara Springer, a Midwest mom of five and Adult Nurse Practitioner, joins Tanya in the tea tasting room to discuss the power of rest for your health. Tanya and Sara unravel the art of finding peace in a world that seldom stops spinning. Sarah and Tanya exchange their personal experiences of integrating self-care into a hectic schedule, revealing the unexpected places rest can inhabit.

Sara is the co-founder of a grassroots mental health-focused non-profit, Love Will Foundation. She began writing about her own mental health journey on Rebel Housewife and has a book focused on her journey coming out in May. Sara has found that there is a lot of unsaid pressure to always be doing, and rest is an integral part of our journey.  Sarah's profound insights on the necessity of rest, drawn from her own mental health journey and professional expertise, provide an invaluable guide for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the breakneck pace of modern life.

You can support Sara's Nonprofit by checking out their website and be sure to follow them on Instagram and Facebook.

Check out her website for all things  Rebel Housewife.

Rebel Housewife

IG: www.instagram.com/rebelhousewifeblog

FB: www.facebook.com/rebelhousewifeblog

Website: Www.rebelhousewifeblog.com

Be sure to pre-order Sara's Book: “Was I Not Supposed to Say That?”

Amazon: https://a.co/d/7fP2dqB

Barnes&Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/was-i-not-supposed-to-say-that-sara-springer/1145217834

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living while doing it all. Hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I'm happy to be back here in the Tea Tasting Room with you. I hope within the last week you've done something to prioritize yourself, because that is key For me.

Speaker 1: 0:37

I decided to get some rest at one point in time it was in the middle of the week. I was not feeling my best self mentally, but however, I chose to just relax. I tried to be still, but that's just not how my brain is wired right now, but I did prioritize just not having to do as much like I usually would. So I am hoping and wishing the best, or the same, for you as well, which is pretty ironic because on today's episode I am joined by an amazing human being. She's an author, she's a mental health advocate, she's an awareness activist, she's a blogger, she's a nurse practitioner, she's a mom. She is just an amazing human being and I'm so happy that I get to talk to her and we're going to be talking about the power of rest for our health. Let me tell you, sarah, stop buying tea tasting room and you are going to want to sip on this tea.

Speaker 1: 1:32

So let's get into today's episode. Hi, sarah, how are you? Hi, I'm great. How are you? I am good, I am good.

Speaker 1: 1:35

I am so grateful that you're here in the Tea Tasting Room with me. It is a pleasure and I always say this to my audience whenever I can make some sort of connection with anyone on social media. It's always a blessing, because social media sometimes can be used for bad, if we're being honest, but there's also a lot of good out here. You get to connect with different people from all walks of life. So I am happy that you are here joining me in the Tea Taste Room to talk about something that I think I am struggling with.

Speaker 1: 1:59

So hopefully, by the end of this episode only my listeners you're going to be teaching me something, because me and Ress, we don't go well together. Okay, I'm just, I'm just being honest. We don't go well together. I often say that you know me and Sleep. We're going through a divorce right now, but before we get into that part of the episode. We're very nosy people here in the tea tasting room, so tell us a little bit about yourself and you know, gas yourself up, tell us everything, give us all the tea.

Speaker 2: 2:25

Oh, the dish it all.

Speaker 2: 2:26

All right then I'll spill it here. I am a mom of five, I live in the Midwest, I work as a nurse practitioner during the day and I've been pursuing my passions of mental health advocacy and writing on the side. In terms of mental health advocacy, I have co-founded a nonprofit called Lovewell Foundation. It's a 501c3 based here in St Louis, with our mission is to help, like remove the barriers that people have for access to mental health care, and so we offer, we raise money basically to pay for counseling. That's like our mission, and so we have partnered with some local counselors and people can use the funding for their counseling services there, and then we also aim to bring together community and spread kindness and those kinds of things.

Speaker 2: 3:18

And then in terms of my writing, I actually just authored a book that is coming out on May 7th. I'm so excited. I'm very excited about that. It's about overcoming shame and like kind of managing your mental wellness in like marriage, motherhood, modern life. Like you said, social media can really play games with us, so I love that.

Speaker 1: 3:42

I love that and congrats. You were almost like a month away of the release of this book. That's a major feat. That is a major feat. It's not easy, I'm sure, to be writing a book, having the ideas plus being a mom trying to navigate this crazy world that we're in as well. So I can't wait to read it because I think it's right where I'm in my life right now. Yeah, you told us about the book. You said you're a nurse practitioner. I'm going to be honest. I wanted to be a nurse practitioner at some point in my life when I was in school, but then I failed out of nursing school. I'm like, okay, what am I going to do? Let me get into public health.

Speaker 1: 4:16

I can make change, yeah, but I always still with the idea of going back to nursing school and getting my nurse practitioner. I'm like you know, I don't know. I'm going to see him. I'm getting kind of old right now, so I don't know.

Speaker 2: 4:33

So I'm happy to be talking to someone who you know is a nurse practitioner, so that's really good. Yes, yes, well, hey, I think the older you are you could do stuff, the better.

Speaker 1: 4:39

I'm turning 40 and I just got a book out there. So that is true, and I'm midway to 40. So never, never say never I do. I do want to write a book, or books, so that I'll probably give more attention to that. It more than before but it's still such a taboo topic, which is just I don't know why, because for me we kind of talk about physical health and not talk about our mental or emotional health. They all go hand in hand to me or they all go together.

Speaker 1: 5:19

But I'm curious to know what was your upbringing? How has your upbringing influenced you to even get into the medical field as far as the nurse practitioner, or writing this book for moms or just anyone who's out here living in the millennial modern life? How has your upbringing influenced that?

Speaker 2: 5:34

Yeah, I think I had some trauma as a child and so I dealt a lot with PTSD and depression and anxiety as a result, and so I've always felt like I never really liked the saying like things happen for a reason because, there's just it, just things just happen, you know, and our minds are what make it want to mean something.

Speaker 2: 5:57

And so in order for me to kind of just like be able to heal and survive kind of childhood trauma, I was like I have to make it mean something, and for me that meant trying to help other people and so, like being a nurse and like a nurse practitioner, it's kind of nice because it's like built in helping people in my day to day.

Speaker 2: 6:17

Like I don't have to sell anything, I don't have to convince people of the value of health care. Really, I mean, there's there's a lot to that whole. That could be another conversation in terms of views on health care and that sort of thing but for the most part. You know people come to me with a problem and I offer my, my knowledge, my help, my assistance and that's kind of like what they expect from me to do what's best for them.

Speaker 2: 6:42

You don't have to sell that. So that's what I do. Like that about like being in healthcare, is that that's just part of my day to day, and then I just really realized the importance of there's just so many people honestly that especially, I think, since 2020, and the impacts of the pandemic on people that have just been. Their lives have been unraveling and their mental health has really taken a hit and people are returning back to addictions or unhealthy coping mechanisms because they're so overwhelmed and don't know.

Speaker 2: 7:14

I guess I mean that's my interpretation or my observation and so bringing down that stigma, to be like you are, worth getting help and life can be worth living is just a really important space for me. We founded our nonprofit in 2018. So it was kind of a couple of years before the pandemic, but once that hit we just really were like man people. We really, really, really need to make people feel comfortable asking for help.

Speaker 2: 7:46

Yes, and then being able to get the help, like asking is one thing and then finding it is a whole other thing.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Yes, no, that is so true. So, and I think we underestimate the importance of community as well as it relates to our mental health, because, again, it's still a taboo topic. We don't asking for help. For some people is like it's shameful and that shouldn't be. I'm not sure where in society we went wrong as to why we're thinking that we can't express our true feelings or we can't ask for help our true feelings, or we can't ask for help.

Speaker 1: 8:17

I still struggle with that sometimes, to be honest, because I'm so used to being the helper, helping everyone else or trying to fix somebody else, but then when I do need help, it's very hard for me to ask. I have to be like I have to be at my wit's end before I even ask and even then I still have to contemplate if I want to, to even get that help, whatever that may be. Because I also work as a doula and I also work in the maternal health space and I think about when we talk about even community, thinking about parents. A support system is so important. You know moms will tell you oh, I got to be up every two hours or baby has been fussy all night, so I'm not getting enough rest, I'm not getting enough sleep. So I want to ask you because, like I mentioned to you earlier, Sarah, I think that I'm going through a divorce with sleep, because it sounds funny, but my sleeping pattern has just been completely off.

Speaker 1: 9:06

You know, I'm also a founder of a nonprofit. We're still very small and I have big goals for us as an organization. I took this big leap in 2020, in the middle of this pandemic, to launch a foundation nonprofit organization, as has been in my mind since 2018, 2019. Because I'm from a small Caribbean island called Antigua. So it was always my goal when I first moved to the US to give back to Antigua in some way, shape or form.

Speaker 1: 9:32

But, let me tell you, sarah, I work full-time. I have a doula business, I have a nonprofit. Again, I have a small team. We're working to ensure that we can expand, and then I also go to grad school full time. Wow, no wonder why you're exhausted. And recently I'm realizing that one I'm burnt out, like last year after we had our event in Antigua, I was so burnt out when I say burnt out I could not even lift a pen to write a goal for Squab Life Kids, my nonprofit. I couldn't do anything and I didn't want to accept the fact that I was burnt out because I didn't know what it was like you know again, you listen to other podcasts or you watch YouTube on social media and they talk about burnout all the time.

Speaker 1: 10:21

But or you watch YouTube on social media and they talk about burnout all the time. But I did not know that I was experiencing that until my therapist told me, and even then I still didn't want to believe her. I was like no, I'm not brassy, I'm ambitious, I have goals, I'm going to do whatever I have to do whatever it takes, because I always had this mindset of pushing through right, no matter how tired I am and I'm using, because I'm also someone who suffers from chronic migraine and I'm thinking that's as a result of lack of rest, but I don't know.

Speaker 1: 10:46

But I'm realizing now that I'm dependent on my, and don't judge me nurse practitioner please.

Speaker 2: 10:51

No judgment.

Speaker 1: 10:54

I'm noticing that I have to take a particular medication every night, for one for anxiety, but also want to prevent my migraine. But that particular migraine med it helps to. It makes me drowsy.

Speaker 1: 11:04

So I'm now finding myself with all the stress of life running a non-profit going to grad school full-time, having to finish these um assignments and time on these exams, and making sure that I'm showing up in my at my work, at job, full-time as well, because I can't have that slacking, because they've been very flexible with me for me to attend my classes while we're, you know, during working hours. So I can't afford to be slacking at work. But, however, now, like I said, I'm relying on this particular medication. It's not a sleeping aid, but it helps me to get drowsy.

Speaker 1: 11:31

And for the last couple of months I've been relying on that to get at least a good solid four to five hours of sleep, right, sarah. However, I'm now realizing that that med is no longer working as far as the put me to sleep aspect of things. It's preventing the migraine, thank the Lord, because I was someone who had a migraine at least five days out of the seven days in a week. So I'm saying I know I'm talking very, very long, but I'm saying all that to say you know how important is rest to our health, that connection between rest and health, because I'm realizing that when I don't get enough sleep I'm a very different person the next day.

Speaker 1: 12:08

But it has become my norm now that I don't even know what it means to rest. And rest doesn't necessarily always mean sleep either. For me. I could be sitting on my couch or in my bed watching TV and then, before I know it, I'm on my phone typing an email or doing something again for my nonprofit or whatever it is. So let's talk about the connection between rest and health, because I think we don't necessarily really understand how important that is or what it looks like.

Speaker 2: 12:34

Yeah, I mean, like you said, sleep and rest aren't always the same. It's important to get adequate sleep and that sort of thing for health reasons, but rest, when I think of it, is sort of letting ourselves just be present and without judgment and observe what we are experiencing. I think that in order to allow yourself to rest, it really requires practice with mindfulness, kind of the self-awareness that what, like, what am I doing with my time, what am I filling it with and what am I avoiding by trying to constantly, always be on and doing things?

Speaker 2: 13:13

Because, I think that sometimes keeping ourselves busy, if we're honest with ourselves, we're avoiding something else, and so allowing yourself time to just even if you start by like journaling or something like that, where you're just writing things down about what you're thinking or what you're feeling and getting things out of your brain, it allows your brain to quiet down and when your brain can be quiet, your chest can relax your neurons.

Speaker 2: 13:42

Everything can just sort of be quieter and calmer and softer, which help what's just helped to promote sleep. In the long run it can reduce your blood pressure and those kinds of things. So I think that it's definitely a practice like you can't just be, like you know what, all of a sudden you're, I'm gonna rest.

Speaker 2: 14:00

I'm gonna rest today, like you have to really be in tune with what you're experiencing and giving yourself like, even if it's like I'm going to just spend five minutes in the morning and I'm just going to sit here quietly and just acknowledge what I'm experiencing in my body. Am I feeling my chest being tight, is my head aching, are my feet sore, are my hands tired? What's going on in my brain? Am I feeling like I have too many thoughts and I can't actually form a sentence, kind of a thing. And then, once we're aware of what's going on in our bodies, then we can respond to that and say, well, this is what would best serve me today, and sometimes rest means like there's been days where I'm like this is what would best serve me today, and sometimes rest means like there's been days where I'm like you know what that means.

Speaker 2: 14:46

I do want to sit on the couch and binge watch the Good Place for the 15th millionth time I just like, yeah, I'm like that's what's going to serve me. Today I need to just like be involved, like shut my mind off in that way and sometimes rest for me means logging off of my electronics and shutting off my phone and not having allowing people honestly to have access to me for a minute.

Speaker 2: 15:08

Sometimes it means actually going for a walk. So it's not typically what we think of rest, but being outside in nature, a nice kind of well paced walk, can be very, very restorative and very restful. Meditation that takes a lot of practice. That was so hard for me. It still is, it can. Actually, for a long time meditation provoked panic attacks in me so it was counterproductive. But I was able to find ways to like incorporate oils that I liked and sense and kind of have this full experience so that I could meditate and be more present and find joy in that. Meditation's one thing, and just those are just kind of some different things. I think that can help overall. When you're doing that, then you'll realize tension in your body slipping away.

Speaker 2: 15:59

And when you have less tension, I think it's just benefits, mind, body, spirit, yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:05

No, because you did mention some strategies that we can use and I'm going to use me as an example. My theme in my life recently is about journaling, meditating and having that quiet moment. I call it, you know, just to be still and relax. But however, for me I was doing so good, sarah, to be honest, like months ago I was like, yes, I'm going to get up in the mornings, I'm going to do a little bit of a working out, I'm going to meditate, do my devotions, x, y, z. But again, I'm realizing now that I am having a hard time quieting my mind and the techniques that I've been using, such as journaling, meditating, even just sitting in a quiet place because I have this thing now at 10 pm at night my phone goes on do not disturb, and on the weekends, saturday and Sunday, it's on do not disturb the entire day because I really do not want to be disturbed. And it's when I use my time to not necessarily be on social media as much.

Speaker 1: 16:55

But you mentioned, you know, meditating being. You have to practice before you can actually realize how in tune you are with your body. But how? Again, if you're able to answer this, but how can we? What are some other ways, essentially, we can do to quiet our minds, because I'm not realizing that my usual coping mechanisms maybe it's just me not being as focused but what are some other ways we can do? But what are some other ways we can do? How can we become more consistent?

Speaker 1: 17:18

Because, again, for me, I'm always looking for a quick fix sometimes and some things require practice, consistency over and over, before it actually becomes a habit. But what are some other ways, maybe some other feasible ways we can do to quiet our mind, to incorporate rest, because, like you mentioned, even walking outside in nature is a form of rest. Old me would take that as me being what's the word I'm looking for. Oh, you're just too active. Why are you out here walking for five minutes or walking a mile in the park when, after a while, I realized that this is my time where I can think clearer, I can reflect on maybe my day or the week or where I am in life now. But again, for me, now I'm not sure if I'm high stress at this point, but my usual coping mechanisms aren't as effective as they once were.

Speaker 1: 18:03

So what are some other? Ways for those listening. They can try, you know, maybe something basic and then you know, give us that tea, because we need help.

Speaker 2: 18:12

I think, first it's redefining what rest means to us and acknowledging that we're not going to be perfect at it, and then that's okay. And I think that the second thing, too, is understanding that consistency doesn't mean doing something. At least, for me, it hasn't meant doing something every single day, and sometimes it means that I come back to things like consistency. So maybe I was doing everything that served me for a while and then I just fell off the wagon. I couldn't muster the strength to do it. I had to rest in other ways, and my rest involved not journaling and not doing devotionals and not meditating. I had to sort of shift and, like I said, maybe watching television or talking to a friend, if that's fills you up or coloring.

Speaker 2: 18:58

Coloring is a wonderful, wonderful way, I think, to rest If you get like an adult coloring book, or even just doodling can be really restorative. And so, if we understand that it's not always going to look the same for us day to day, we have to really evaluate what we need in that moment and respond to it. I think that is really how we become the most restful.

Speaker 2: 19:25

So suggestions that I can give would be things that quiet your mind. And so if you think about like, okay, well, I think I'm resting because I'm sitting and, you know, answering, talking to people online or something like that or scrolling in memes, but, if you like, really acknowledge what that's doing.

Speaker 2: 19:43

it's filling your mind with more stuff that you probably don't need, and there's things that your mind needs to be able to release in order to rest, and so it just takes really time. It really is a journey in ebb and flow and like it's just I can't express like how much you're never going to be there. Yeah, really a journey of like, like okay. So today, this is what I'm feeling and these are the things that will help me get through the day, and whether that is uh, like I said, I don't know if I can think of more. I love yoga.

Speaker 1: 20:18

I think yoga is amazing stretching is wonderful even working out, because for me working out me I look forward to going to the gym now, which is even crazier than me saying that. When I look forward to that one hour of working out because that's when I realized that my mind is most quiet when I'm working out it brings me that peace. I'm at a point now where I'm actually looking forward to seeing the trainer working out, even if the exercise is really really hard, I don't complain. I'm up for that challenge. But it's that one moment or that one hour of my day where I'm completely, completely at peace.

Speaker 2: 20:57

Yes, yes, that's wonderful. And I think, looking around your environment too, because there are times where you know, if you have a sink full of dishes and laundry overflowing, you're just not going to be able to feel restful. So sometimes you have to do the things like clear the space, declutter to sort of prepare to rest as well.

Speaker 1: 21:19

And I and I I'm glad you said that, cause I think a lot of us we underestimate the importance of having a clean environment. Because for me, I remember the other day, my closet was just, it was just full of clutter and I found myself, you know, first it's not stressing because the environment it was just untidy. Not because not intentionally, but you know, life happens, you're moving fast and you just, you know, things pattern up and one night at like, around 11m, I started cleaning up the closet and now I'm like okay, now I can come home, I can feel happy, I can feel at ease, because if I want to just sit, I'm sitting in an environment that is clean. And I think we underestimate the importance of having a tidy environment as well because it affects our mental health.

Speaker 1: 22:01

So, as you said, you know when you mentioned, you know, not scrolling on our phones because, like I told you, my phone goes on at 10 pm and then on Instagram and Facebook, I am locked out of my account if I utilize three hours a day. However, now this is me being crazy. You're probably going to laugh. I'm thinking to myself OK, I'm locked out of Facebook, twitter and Instagram, but there's no time limit on TikTok, so I find myself at night, I am scrolling on TikTok and then that just gets my mind going again. Now you know, okay, what am I going to cook tomorrow? Am I going to wear this? It's just so many different things.

Speaker 1: 22:38

So I think what I want to ask you, sarah, is how is, or how does the modern lifestyle right now, if we're living in a social media age? How is, or how does the modern lifestyle right now, if we're living in a social media age? How does that impact our ability to essentially rest effectively, and how can we, what can we do to counteract this? Because, again, for me, I'm thinking in my, my girl math is you are logged out of Facebook, instagram and Twitter because you've used up your full three hours, but with TikTok you don't have a time limit there. So when you, when I'm going to bed, I'm like, okay, I'm going to read 10 pages of a book, I'll read those 10 pages. And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to sleep, no, I'm picking the phone up and I'm on TikTok, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Before you know it, it's 3 am, so I'm complaining.

Speaker 1: 23:16

Just now in the episode Sarah, ensure that I can have enough. You know a good amount of sleep. I was asleep, yeah. So how does the modern lifestyle impact our ability to rest and what can we do to counteract this?

Speaker 2: 23:35

Yeah, I think well, it impacts our ability to rest, because we are not only do, are we available to people 24-7, but we expect people to be available to us 24-7.

Speaker 2: 23:48

And so there's really this like how can you rest when someone may need you, someone may need something, someone may post about something that you just know is going to be the most interesting thing that you've ever seen in your life and you want to be there the moment that it happens? Or you've posted something and you want it to go viral, or you're like how many people have liked it? Where's my validation?

Speaker 2: 24:12

And kind of just like it really is to a level of I think we have to call like a spade a spade and say that it's an addiction, and I think that we have an addiction to technology and that we are have not been giving ourselves permission to disconnect from people and to not be available to them and to not and to be okay, not being in the know all the time you know and it's important to be informed and to keep up with current events and all of that, but it's also important to take time where you don't do anybody a justice or a service by exhausting yourself, Like if you are somebody who's doing all this amazing work and we all have amazing parts of our personalities, whether we have nonprofits or not kind of thing but you have a nonprofit and you're doing all these wonderful things in life and for the world and it doesn't serve them for you, the person who's able to bring that into the world, to not have that passion behind it anymore.

Speaker 2: 25:18

And so we have to look at rest as it's giving us the ability to continue our work and to continue to be available and to have the emotional capacity and the physical capacity and the all of it to be able to keep doing the things that fuel us and that are that we find important.

Speaker 2: 25:39

So I think it's important that we really find time off of our electronics and we really set those boundaries and that we love ourselves and our work enough that we respect those boundaries and keep them, so like if you've noticed, you know that you've gone to TikTok.

Speaker 1: 25:57

well then, it looks like.

Speaker 2: 25:58

TikTok needs a time limit now.

Speaker 1: 25:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:00

And just being aware that that is what's happening, you know, I think being a self-awareness is such a huge piece in being able to effectively rest.

Speaker 1: 26:11

No, I agree, no, that is so true. And as we get ready to wrap up, I want to talk about, I want to talk to the moms because, again, I work primarily with families, pregnant individuals, and Our baby's going to be unpredictable. We don't know. Our baby doesn't come out saying, okay, I'm going to sleep for eight hours at night. But for our moms, or even those who are trying to conceive or may have, you know they're part of a support system for a family. What can we tell them? What can you tell them as far as how can they incorporate rest? Because you know we have the saying oh, sleeping baby sleeps. But at the same time when, when baby's up, you're so busy tending to that baby that you're neglecting, unintentionally. You're neglecting other areas, like the house needs to be cleaned, the dishes needs to be done, the laundry, all these different things. Because for me, I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I have enough hours in my day and, like I said, I don't have any children and I'm like what's gonna happen when I become a mom?

Speaker 1: 27:05

because if, if right now I don't have enough hours in my day, I can only sympathize or even try to imagine what parents are going through. So what are some ways in which they can try their very best to incorporate rest? It doesn't even matter if your child is 11 or 12, because we know these days kids have every activities. They got to go to piano class, they got to go to dance, they got to go to basketball. There's so many things that all children are doing that is just as active. So what can parents or families do to ensure that they are incorporating rest when dealing with either a newborn or toddler or just children in general? And how can their community or their support system help them to incorporate rest?

Speaker 2: 27:47

Yeah, I mean, I think a big component is redefining what are our priorities that's a really big thing and acknowledging without judgment the things that are important to us. So, for example, if a clean house, really you feel like it should be a priority, but really clutter doesn't bother you, then you get to you, give yourself permission that that is something on the last rung on in your list kind of a thing. If you're more someone who's like I, have to shower every day to feel human or I have to be able to walk for 10 minutes.

Speaker 2: 28:24

That's all I have. That my baby will let. Let me put them down. I have 10 minutes. It will not serve me to clean my house because that doesn't bother me. You know, like a walk is what I need, and so just knowing, redefining what your own priorities are and being aware of them, and then then tending to those, I think that our communities really find a lot of joy.

Speaker 2: 28:50

I guess or they prefer to help new moms in ways where they're taking the baby and so the mom can catch up with things. And for some new for I would say a lot of new moms, for me too, I mean, I found a lot of restoration and just being able to just lay with my baby, or hold my baby or feed my baby without having to worry that there's other things I need to do, and so helping moms with those chores that you don't even want to do like nobody wants to do them doing those things, so that she is really free to just take care of her baby and her toddler cooking meals and grocery shopping, meal planning doing the laundry, doing all those things that may be cluttering her mind and keeping her from being able to tend to the things that she needs to, including her baby.

Speaker 2: 29:40

I think is really, really important for community.

Speaker 1: 29:43

No, I do. I do appreciate that because, again, we underestimate how important a community is and even as a postpartum doula, all mom needs sometimes is just someone to even hold the baby so I can take a shower and come right here really quickly and then I can sit, you know, because of course cuddling with your baby, that also encourages bonding. So I'm happy you mentioned that about community because let me tell you, even me as a single person, I need my community as well.

Speaker 1: 30:08

Just to when life gets too much. And I'm dealing with all these different things, like you say. You know, we're entrepreneurs, we have nonprofits it's a lot and on social media we don't talk enough about what goes on behind the scenes of trying to even run a business, how exhausted you can sometimes be. And you mentioned about being self-aware, because for me, I'm so self-aware sometimes that I'm sick of myself. I'm so self-aware sometimes that I'm sick of myself I'm going to be honest, because I wasn't always here but I'm just so self-aware now that I'm just making sure that I'm taking the necessary steps Because, again, I'm realizing I don't want to be burnt out.

Speaker 1: 30:41

For me, I'm thinking, rest just means that I just need to sleep. I need to get eight hours of sleep at night, and it's like that's not necessarily what it means. I'm learning that I can just be sitting on my couch or I can go to the park. What I've been doing is just sitting in my car reading my Kindle. Yeah, and that is enough rest for me.

Speaker 1: 30:59

That makes me feel rejuvenated and I can just go about my day and feeling motivated and inspired to maybe come and do the dishes or clean the house, whatever it is. That's what I'm realizing that the simple things is. What really contribute to is the simple things, because for me, I was always a big thing kind of person where I had to do the big thing first. Like you mentioned even prioritizing our lists For me, I would get a post-it and I'll put my list of things I had to get done in a day and I rank them as what's the least priority, what's most priority, and sometimes I end up starting with the least priority because it takes less energy and I think when we get into, oh, I have to do X, y, z, let me get it all at once For me, I get overstimulated.

Speaker 2: 31:38

Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah yeah, you have to set smart goals.

Speaker 1: 31:41

Yeah, so I'm working. I'm working on being consistent with making smart goals, because the chaos that ensues when they're not we're not making smart goals it's just. It's enough to knock you out for like a week and for you to feel extremely tired after because you weren't making these smart goals. Yeah, but as we get ready to go, sarah, what are some misconceptions that you've heard about REST? How can we debunk them? Because, again, we've been programmed to hustle, hustle, hustle or be on the go. Be on the go Because you want to make six figures, you want all these different things our social media gurus are telling us, but they're not telling us that during that time, one they may have a team or a strong support system. They don't set apart sometimes. Enough for me. So what are some misconceptions about rest and how can we even debunk this?

Speaker 2: 32:26

Yeah, I mean, I think the biggest misconception about rest is that it's lazy, that you're not motivated, that you just don't have any goals or dreams or aspirations in life. If you're resting, if you're not doing, then you're not going to be anything, and I think we just have to really promote or talk about more that rest is really restoration. Talk about more that rest is really restoration. And so being able to rest is part of the journey of being able to achieve your goals and to be. It's not about being complacent.

Speaker 2: 33:03

It's about giving yourself permission to be present and to be okay with where things are right now. You know, if you're always trying to do and you're always in this hyper almost, it almost puts you in like the survival mode where I just have to keep going, keep going, keep going, and the impact of survival mode on people in over a long time is not going to serve you health wise or anything like that.

Speaker 2: 33:30

So I think we just have to be more willing to say that. I mean, maybe it takes the successful people, the people who are out there, you know, breaking in the dough to say you know what I vacation or I go I don't always do. I have people doing for me. You know, I delegate kind of thing for people to believe it. You know, maybe it's harder for people to hear it from someone like me who, you know, lives Midwest, middle of nowhere. Um, like you know, they don't see me necessarily as being successful, but I think that we have to. It really is about, like redefining our priorities, our goals and what we think success is like.

Speaker 2: 34:13

Is success to you? Billions of dollars, maybe. If you really look at it, you really talk to yourself and are aware You're like you know what that? That isn't going to make me feel successful.

Speaker 2: 34:23

It's going to make me feel successful is if I get to be at my kids games or if I get, if I'm able to have a job that I enjoy, games, or if I get, if I'm able to have a job that I enjoy. Maybe what makes me feel successful is that I have time with my partner in the evenings, or time alone, or time to read. Like you have to really be like saying it's okay if money and success and fame and fortune that's not what everybody needs to aspire to.

Speaker 1: 34:48

I love that.

Speaker 2: 34:49

Yeah, so that's my feelings.

Speaker 1: 34:52

I love it, and I think that's a good way for me to end this episode, because too often we think that we have to have what somebody else has. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. We don't even know how they got to the place that they got to. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 35:05

So I really do think that we need to prioritize. What does success look like for us? And I'm glad you said that, because I feel like you're on my podcast but you're trying to drag me telling me, tell me, you know what you need to re-evaluate. What does success mean to myself? And I think that's a very good question that I hope my audience are able to answer for themselves, because that is very, very important, because we spend time caught up in this social media age and thinking that someone else's success I mean there's nothing wrong in being inspired by someone else's success but also it's important to know that your journey is not going to be the same as their- journey and I think once we get that, yeah, well, I want to thank you, but before you go, I want you to tell us what is one mantra or affirmation that you are relying on this season, or one of your go-to affirmation or mantra.

Speaker 2: 35:56

Oh, my current affirmation is see what happens if you stay.

Speaker 1: 36:01

Ooh, sarah, now honey. Wow, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, I need for you to repeat that, wow. See what happens if you stay to repeat that Wow, yeah, see what happens if you stay Okay.

Speaker 2: 36:13

So I see, listen, that's, that's, that's, I'm going to steal that, it's okay, like if I can steal that, oh, absolutely, I don't even I didn't come up with that. I heard it somewhere. I'm sure I heard it somewhere.

Speaker 1: 36:24

See what happens if you stay. Wow, I love that.

Speaker 2: 36:28

Well, thank you for being here Before you go tell everyone where we can find you, how we can support your book and everything your nonprofit, everything that you have going on and our website's wwwlovewellfoundationorg. And then all of my social media handles are Rebel Housewife Blog on Facebook and Instagram, and my book is available on Amazon and Barnes Noble and pretty much where books are sold, it's available for pre-order now yes it is, so go ahead and get that pre-order.

Speaker 1: 37:15

I'm really happy for you and I can't wait to read this book because, like I said, I think it's right up my alley just from reading the description. Okay, yes, I definitely got to get this book on my bookshelf.

Speaker 2: 37:22

I'm serious.

Speaker 1: 37:23

Thank you. So congrats on that, because that's no easy feat.

Speaker 2: 37:27

Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 37:28

Congrats for being brave to do that Cause I know that was probably nerve wracking. You know that's. That's a goal, that's a major goal. Yeah, I am. I am happy for you and I want to thank you again for joining me in the tea tasting room. I will put all the information in the show notes and have a good day. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy coming here.

Speaker 2: 37:51

I loved it.

Speaker 1: 37:51

It was wonderful talking to you. I'm so glad we were able to connect. Thank you so much. I'm just going to say this now You're not going to get rid of me now, because any guest that comes into this tea tasting room, we're connected forever. So I'm just letting you know that right now. I'm excited.

Speaker 2: 38:00

Love it All right, thank you.

Speaker 1: 38:02

Thank you so much me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you like this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.