Rediscovering Self-Worth and Purpose: Tanya's Transformative Journey to Antigua

What if a trip to your homeland could redefine your understanding of self-worth and purpose? Join me as I share the transformative experiences from my recent journey to Antigua after an unexpected three-week hiatus. From reconnecting with my roots and feeling the intense tropical heat to the bittersweet moments of remembering my late grandmother, this trip brought immense peace and clarity. I'll walk you through the lush landscapes, the vibrant culture, and the poignant reflections that grounded me and renewed my appreciation for my culture.

But that's not all. Tune in as I recount the heartwarming Scrub Life Cares 'Grow With The Flo' event, filled with community spirit and invaluable lessons on gratitude and connection. Learn about my empowering participation at the Small Island Developing States Conference, where I gained new perspectives and forged significant bonds to further our mission. Plus, hear about my visits with local CSOs, an immersive experience in a Rastafarian community, and impactful health education initiatives. Let this episode inspire you to seek experiences that reconnect you with your core and challenge your perspectives, all while making a meaningful difference.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living while doing it all. Hey, my friend, hey friend, hey friend, hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I'm going to say it again Welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I know, I know, I know you are probably wondering, girl, where you been at, where the heck you been at.

Speaker 1: 0:40

Let me tell you, your friend took an unexpected three-week break from uploading to the podcast. Not on purpose. It was unexpected for many different reasons. Life been lifing, things weren't really working out as it relates to getting the opportunity or the chance to record an episode with some of my guests, or even solo episodes. So I do want to apologize for leaving you hanging or leaving you by yourself in the tea tasting room, but I am back, I'm rejuvenated, I'm refreshed and I'm just ready to take on the role again as the head of the tea gang in the tea tasting room. But yeah, so we're back, we're back, we're back as far as the tea of the week. Listen, your girl is legitimately just getting back from vacation. She's trying to get into the swing of things.

Speaker 1: 1:30

I took a trip back home to my beautiful island of Antigua and, to be honest, friend, it was more than just a trip. I think this trip was a very transformative experience for me across our boards, both personally, professionally, just as an individual. It really and truly was a transformative experience. You know, being able to reconnect with my roots, which I haven't really given up per se, but being able to just be back home having fun adventures, you know, as far as seeing my country from a tourist perspective and not just someone who grew up or lives there, and just having a good time making different connections that I've been wanting to for the longest. So, again, this trip really and truly was just an eye-opening adventure that redefined my understanding of self-worth, of my self-worth and purpose. Because, if you didn't know, my friend, sometimes I still struggle with my self-worth, my purpose. I'm going to say I don't think I necessarily struggle because I know what my purpose is in life, but then sometimes, when I doubt who I am as a person or doubt my self-worth, it sometimes let me even doubt what my purpose is. But this trip really, again, was an eye-opening adventure and that helped me to redefine my understanding of self-worth and on purpose.

Speaker 1: 2:45

But let me tell you, anytime I go to Antigua, it always brings a level of peace that I didn't know was attainable, right. But I will say as soon as I stepped off the plane listen walking through the airport, coming through customs, and then the minute that I stepped foot out of that airport, when I tell you, the heat hit me like the house was on fire, like the way I was just melting and dripping in sweat. The heat in Antigua right now it's next level. The heat here, where I'm in South Carolina, is hot too, but just at the time when I left New York heading to Antigua, it was kind of cool. But the heat in Antigua, girl, let me tell you that was a mess. But of course I enjoy the heat, so I'm not going to complain. But the heat is next level right now and of course that's the result of climate change that we need to be taking seriously, but that'll be a whole different conversation for another time.

Speaker 1: 3:39

But yeah, just meeting that island breeze, the heat at the same time, and just seeing how green Antigua was or is, you know, just really and truly took me back to not only my childhood but just again that place of just peace, peace, peace, peace. And it's just amazing to see how things has changed but still managed to remain the same at some point in time. You know the lively energy of Antigua. You the food, the good, good, good up food, the beaches. Let me tell you I've been to the beach more times on this trip than I've ever been in all my years of living in Antigua. Like it was that hot, but again, just definitely. I told myself that I will soak up the beaches as much as I possibly can, given that I'm not sure what. I'm going back to Antigua, if I'm going back to Antigua this year. And, of course, going home is always bittersweet because again, losing my grandparents, my grandmother. The first thing I usually would do once I leave the airport is go see her, and I didn't have the opportunity to do that physically because again she's no longer with us. So there's always a bittersweet moment of whenever I visit Antigua.

Speaker 1: 4:42

But I think what stood out to me on this trip you know it really and truly led me to reflect on who I am today compared to who I was back then, even who I was last year. It just it made me reflect on who I am today compared to who I was back then and I think whenever I return to Antigua, it reminds me of the values and the lessons that I have learned just from living and growing up in Antigua. It reminds me of the values and the lessons that I have learned just from living and growing up in Antigua. So this trip was really being given what I've been going through these last several months of 2024, it was a very grounding experience. It was able to bring me some clarity to my identity and helping me to see my worth in a much better and newer light. Identity and helping me to see my worth in a much better and newer light.

Speaker 1: 5:28

You know, I often tell people Antigua is not the place just on the map. It's really truly a part of my heart and my soul and it's just a constant reminder of who I am, my roots and the foundation of my self-worth that I struggle with from time to time and whenever I get back home. You know, somebody told me the other day, you know you're that girl. Somebody told me, you know, I haven't known you that long enough, but just from being in your presence. You are that girl, you're a boss lady and I was like little old me. But you know what? I'm embracing that because, again, I am an amazing person.

Speaker 1: 5:54

But sometimes, whenever I struggle with that self-worth, I think I'm going to always go back to my reflection and how I felt on this particular trip back home to Antigua. So, nevertheless, you know, having various conversations with different people who I've known before, who I recently met, they served as mirrors reflecting, you know, my own journey and my aspirations. To be honest, you know, they made me see the value, I would say, in my experiences, the struggles that I face and continue to face, and even my accomplishments that I don't even often pay attention to because, again, for the sake of being humble but not wanting to sound like I'm ragging either, you know. So this trip really was just a reminder that every person that we meet as individuals in our everyday lives, you know they have a story and every story honestly has the power to teach us something about our own lives. But yes, friends, so let's talk about some fun times and some personal joys here.

Speaker 1: 6:52

I had a really good time back home. That added to the joy of this trip. It added to the joy of this person that you're hearing, that's talking to you right now, even after three weeks of us not catching up in the tea tasting room. But, you know, visiting the various beaches beaches that I haven't been to in a long time going to lunch or dinner with friends and family or just colleagues that I've met, being able to tour around the island as a visitor, as a tourist, can't take away from that, but it was just really good the camaraderie, the laughter, just doing things that I won't normally do when I'm home and that to me, serve as a reminder of the simple chores in life and how important it is to make time for adventure and connection. And that's something that I've always struggled with as well, because I'm always so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life.

Speaker 1: 7:51

But being able and I'm going to be honest, this trip was a little bit more business oriented than pleasure to an extent but I made sure that there was one entire week where I was able to just indulge in the beauty of Antigua, making sure I'm eating my local food, you know, my little fresh seafood, the tucana and sawfish, the dumplings, all these different things I was able to do that, you know, soak up the different fruits and, of course, having my snow cone done by Johnny Dunn at the West Post Station in Antigua, like just doing the things that I don't often get to do and just making sure that I'm enjoying every meal that I ate. When I tell you I ate, I'm pretty sure I came back at least 15 pounds heavier, but that's going to be something I work on with my trainer when I hit the gym, when I head back to the gym. But definitely it just felt good to be connected with my culture and the traditions of Antigua as well. They left me feeling full and they reinforced the idea that life is really a balance and it's about embracing the serious and the fun and the meaningful and joyful moments of life as well. All right, so that's just where we are from a reflection standpoint. I'm not going to hold you too long here on Tea Tasting Moon, but we got to catch up, of course.

Speaker 1: 9:00

But I went to Antigua not only for vacation, but for two things. One, for my nonprofit organizations, our Grow, with the Flow Women and Girls Health Expo that was held the day before my birthday, may 26th no, it was May 25th and then I was in Antigua as well to attend the Small Island Development States Conference held by the United Nations, and Scrabble Life Kids had gotten special accreditation from the UN to attend this conference. So that was really some of the highlights of this trip. And I will say, my patients I'm just saying my patients was tested as a non-profit founder this time around as it relates to our Growth the Flow Women and Girls Health Expo. This was year three and I made a commitment that I wanted this year's event to be a little bit bigger and better than the last two years, because I think by year three now we have an idea of what we are doing. It was a labor of love and being able to see it come to fruition was an incredibly rewarding feeling, just from a founder standpoint and just from a team leader as well.

Speaker 1: 10:06

I will say there was a point in time where I thought I was gonna have to cancel said event because things weren't really looking the way I wanted them to look by a certain time. But one thing I did realize as well leading up to this event is that it's my resilience and just how no matter how stressful something is, I am going to complain, I'm going to talk about it 50 million times. I'm going to probably curse about it, I'm going to vent my frustration, but in all of that I'm still going to work on the side to ensure that things are happening and things get done, because I don't back down from a challenge, even though there are times when I want to give up, but I'm not someone who's going to back down from a challenge. I'd rather do it and fail, because at this point I know what it feels like to fail and I know what it means to move forward from failure. So at this point, any challenge that come my way, you best believe I'm taking it.

Speaker 1: 10:51

But it was really a rewarding feeling just seeing how my team came together, how everything came together and just this first time like the turnout was beyond our expectation. You know families came in eager to learn. You know people brought their various groups some of the girl guys from different church groups or just anything you can school children. You know they came to our event. The turnout was beyond my expectation because I'm still of that mind when I say if I can serve one person, if we as Quad Life Kids can serve one person, we're doing our job. And every year I keep the numbers are still the same. If we can serve 5 to 25 people, we're doing our job and it always exceeds that number that I set for ourselves. But there was a. I think this year was the first time.

Speaker 1: 11:37

Let me just put this sidebar here. Frank, right now I don't even want to hear my name, tanya, and I know you guys are now seeing me in the TCA soon. After three weeks I'm going to have to hear my name, but every second my name has been called at this event Tanya, tanya, and I'm just like I need a break from hearing my name. For the next three weeks at least, I don't want to hear my name anymore, but this is the first time. As much as I've been called, I'm pulling in many different directions, like last year.

Speaker 1: 12:00

I cannot tell you what happened at the event last year. He said the turnout was great and whatnot, but this year, as busy and hectic as things were and the many things that I had to do to ensure that the flow of the event was smooth, I was able to. You know, there was a palpable sense of community and support at the event. I was able to actually see individuals with joy on their face, and that was something that I didn't anticipate the joy on an individual's face, the happiness, just how pleased they are, how they were learning. I had a friend of mine who's also a doctor, who was attending the event, said to me that someone came up to her or the table that she was sitting at and said to the other practitioner, said to them, essentially, teach me something. And let me tell you when she told me that because I'm recording this episode for you right now and I'm still processing the event that happened back on May 25th because again I jumped into the conference, but that's besides the point but I don't think I realized the magnitude of what we're doing at Squad Life Case in our community. So it's still I'm like blocking myself from processing that event because of how successful it was and just how things were and being able to the different negative things that happened leading up and for us to see that. So when my friend told me that a little girl said to her teach me something, that just really made my heart smile and made me just realize that you know what, tanya, what you're doing here is important, is necessary and it's impactful. So feeling that palpable sense of community and support was also a big, big, big one for me and the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. And I don't always do well with positive feedback, but let me tell you, hearing that is just really, it's important.

Speaker 1: 13:38

You know, I remember speaking to an elderly woman who her daughter reached out to me wanting to sponsor some teas, because you know I love me some teas. So she wanted to sponsor some teas for the event and different natural soap and oils and everything. And I said to her you know, come and have a start at our event. And that was the way. She gave me a tour of her yard leading up to the event and all I knew, this lady is in her 90s, living her best life. She moves younger than I am at 34, okay, she just encouraged me and also thanked me for me even giving her the opportunity to have a start at our event and I think that moment was a testament to the impact that we can make really and truly when we come together for a common cause. You know, organizing this event really and truly reinforced my belief in the power of community, like we've spoken about community on this podcast, but that really reinforced my belief in the power of community and the importance of giving back. You know, it was a humble and empowering experience and it's showing me that. It showed me that every effort, no matter how small, can make a significant difference. And I learned that, like I said, when everything wasn't really going the right way.

Speaker 1: 14:45

Leading up to our event. That week of that event was super stressful, but you know what it is, what it is and we had a successful event. People showed up in ways that I didn't expect them to and I think that still has my heart smiling and if I continue to talk about it I'm going to get emotional. But I do want to give a shout out to the entire Scar Black Caves team, all of our sponsors, for definitely, because it couldn't have happened without our sponsors. I'm just going to say that Our event couldn't have happened without our sponsors, especially this year, and they all showed up big, big, big for Scrub Life here, so for that I'm forever grateful. Still processing what happened, so hopefully I'll have a better recollection or I can share more with you guys on the podcast as I really sit and reflect on the impact that we made or what it looks like or how it makes me feel and what's next. I mean I know what's next for Scrub Life Cures, but definitely what's next for me as a founder, as a leader as well. Now we're going to talk about me attending the SIS conference. Like I said, scrub Life Cures.

Speaker 1: 15:47

We got the special accreditation from the United Nations to attend the Small Island and Development State Conference, where I was able to meet with, with fellow advocates, from the young to the old, and just making different connections as it relates to work that needs to be done within the small islands. You know I learned a lot. You know I was able to network with other professional advocates who provided valuable insights and, of course, connections. You know I was able to meet quite a few important because they're all important people from the UN Women. I was able to meet the executive director of the UN Women as well, make connections with fellow advocates that are going to help propel Scrub Life Kids and myself and the work that we do in our community, because, again, we cannot do this work as an individual. So, being able to meet these amazing, incredible people, I think that the conference was a highlight for me as a professional, but also from a personal standpoint, because again I'm thinking to myself oh, little old Tanya over here with her nonprofit trying to fix the world, one issue at a time, but then getting that accreditation, meeting people.

Speaker 1: 16:58

Oh, did I mention that I also spoke on this panel at the same conference? I'm just overpassing, I'm just not sharing everything. I don't know, but yes, I got the opportunity to be on a panel at the CIDS conference for one of the side events that they had. And let me tell you, leading up to this conference, being a part of the different CSOs, I was able to have inputs on different documents that's happening within the small island developing states, but I was able to speak on a panel as it relates to the local CSO solutions and that was about empowering women and vulnerable communities, and let me tell you the feedback that I got from that was amazing.

Speaker 1: 17:38

But just seeing me, I remember a while ago I said I want to be in my public speaking bag, as the young people would say, but being able to speak there at a conference of that magnitude and being able to share my voice along with other like-minded individuals is a highlight of the entire trip back to Antigua, of the entire conference, something that I'm still processing, because these are like I'm literally living in one or two of my prayers, like these are prayers that are being answered and to see that I'm showing up as my authentic self. Let me tell you, when you show up as your authentic self, listen, nothing or no one can stop you. Okay, when you show up as your authentic self, nothing or no one can stop you. And there was you show up as your authentic self, nothing or no one can stop you. And there was a point in time where I wasn't always showing up as me, and I think, now that I made the decision to actually be conscious and intentional about showing up for myself, I think that's why I'm now being able to live in my prayers, because, let me tell you me speaking on the panel at the United Nations Small Island Development States Conference, what, if you told me this three, four years ago? I would not have said yes, I would not even think it was going to be possible. So that was another highlight of the trip as well, of that conference.

Speaker 1: 18:53

I just know that as a community, as a culture, as a small island developing states, we do have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited to be a part of the local, the various CSOs, so that we can ensure that we are working towards achieving the Caribbean that we deserve and that we want to as well. And it further ignites and just empowers me to do more with my platform as it relates to Scrub, life Care, my nonprofit, as it relates to hearing the tea tasting room for Tea with Tanya. You know, it really just gave me a different outlook of my life and what I can do and the impact and the power and when I say power I'm losing that term loosely, but the power that I could hold. You know, seeing people show up asking me about God's Life Care or knowing about God's Life Care, and people mentioning Tea with Tanya podcast, and I was like oh wow. You know, it's just always a blessing to see that. So I'm really grateful that we got to attend the conference as well. So I'm going to leave it here because I don't want to tell you too much, because I can sit here and talk to you for two, three hours about my trip.

Speaker 1: 19:58

But those are some highlights of my trip as well. Well, being able to attend a Jabba Potter experience at the Humble and Free with Adley was one of my highlights of my trip. You know, learning about, of course, again getting back to your roots, to your culture, that plant to table type of lifestyle and eating ital for the first time in a long time, and that's all plant-based and just having great conversation. So if you are in Antigua, I will say you definitely want to check out Humble and Free with Adley for the amazing tour and you get to look into the Rastafarian communities as well. While I was in Antigua, we were able to adopt another school where we're going to be providing menstrual and reproductive health education as well as providing products for them as well. So we were able to adopt another school and then we were able to do some work in the Rastafarian community back in Antigua, something again that I've been wanting to do. So another prayer being answered in a way by way of Dr Philmore Benjamin in Antigua. I have to give him a shout out for even inviting us to be a part of his health screening that he had in the Rastafarian community, and hopefully one day I'll be able to have someone on to talk about the Rastafarian community in Antigua so you guys can get a deeper look or understanding of what that is and how it looks like, especially within Antigua, in the Caribbean culture as well.

Speaker 1: 21:11

So, yeah, as I reflect on my journey back to Antigua, I really am filled with a deep sense of gratitude and empowerment. You know, this trip was full of meaningful experiences from again, from reconnecting with my roots and me realizing that you know you are that girl, this is where you come from, this is why you're able to survive anywhere, you know, of course, having the fun adventures, but also to achieving professional success and making a positive impact. You know it really, being back home this time of year really reminded me of the importance of knowing my worth, embracing, of course, my culture, because sometimes I show up on this podcast trying to hide my accent. I'm like, girl, where did you come from? Like, why are you hiding your accent? This is how I speak, this is who I am. So it definitely reminded me to embrace my heritage, my culture and just being open to growth and learning. Like the interactions, the challenges that I faced, the triumphs, have all contributed to a renewed sense of purpose and clarity.

Speaker 1: 22:11

And I said to myself and I'm going to encourage you as well I said to myself, these next six months of 2024 are going to be so intentional for me, across our boards, because it doesn't matter. You know, people were battling all these different issues in life for whatever reason, even for reasons beyond our control. So definitely, these next six months, I want you to, I want to encourage you to seek out experiences that will reconnect you with your roots, even challenge your perspective and allow you to make a difference in your own way. And whether that's through, you know, travel, community involvement or even a personal reflection, you know there's just a lot of value in stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new horizons, and that's something that I realize even being back home, because sometimes you know things but you don't really realize it until it really just hits you. And just being able to go to Antigua, plan my event, have our event for Scarlet Black, life Kiss, and then two days later back into the CIS conference for an entire week and just meeting and connecting with different people, people who you've dreamt of meeting or been in rooms, it's just an amazing, amazing feeling. So I'm encouraging you these next six months, my friend, seek out experiences that's going to reconnect you with the core, with your core, with your roots, challenge your perspectives and, of course, allow yourself to make a difference in your own way. Whatever that may be, there's not so much value, there's so so much value in stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new horizons. So I want to thank you for joining me back on this journey.

Speaker 1: 23:44

I could not come back to this podcast and not give you a little life update on this journey of me, on my journey back to Antigua this year. I hope my brief experiences that I share with you have inspired you to reflect on your own path and help you to embrace the opportunities for growth and contribution that may come your way. And remember every journey is a chance to discover something new about ourselves and the world around us. So that's going to be our ending mantra. Okay, every journey is a chance to discover something new about ourselves and the world around us. So definitely, I want to leave that with you Until next time. We're going to keep exploring, we're going to keep growing and we're going to always remember to know your worth, know our worth.

Speaker 1: 24:29

I cannot wait to see you back here in the Tea Tasting Room next week. I do have an amazing guest coming up, so I definitely want to encourage you to tune back in. I promise you I'm not going to go anywhere without giving you advance notice, but your girl is back and I am ready to ensure that we continue on our mission of transforming every aspect here in the tea tasting room. See you next week. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.