262. The Importance And Benefits Of Passionate Kissing in Marriage.. Or Even Just Kissing For Many Of Us :)

Ok, we never thought about doing a podcast on the importance and benefits of kissing, but we must admit, this was one of the funnest episodes we have done... and more importantly, we learned how important it is to do daily in your marriage!

If you are like us, the longer we are married the less we kiss passionately... unless we are in the bedroom. But it shouldn't be that way as there are many advantages and reasons to kiss your spouse passionately every day... even it if doesn't lead to sex.

If you want to have a happy and passionate marriage, then you need to listen to this episode and find out why it is so important to kiss, and there are quite a bit of benefits from kissing.

Join us for this fun and important episode.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why over 700,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

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If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life. Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun. The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.

Speaker 2: 0:40

It's the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with your hosts, nick and Amy, and today's episode is titled the Importance and Benefits of Passionate Kissing in Marriage, and I would just say, kissing in marriage in general. I want to hear what Amy has prepared on this subject. I can't wait to hear.

Speaker 3: 1:01

Well, I think the reason that this needs to be talked about is because, as marriage goes on, the kissing definitely dwindles well, for sure, we, you and I would make out for hours when we were dating. It was like a makeout marathon kiss for hours well, we made out and it was like a makeout marathon and passionately kissing for hours and then, 20 years in, it's like oh, we kiss when we're intimate. That's what most couples said when we took the poll. We only kiss when we're intimate and that is a problem.

Speaker 2: 1:42

It is. Are you saying it's a problem? No, actually I was going to say because we were in bed one night and Amy was like, yeah, kissing's kind of gross, I don't like. So I'm interested to hear what you guys say I should have asked that in the poll.

Speaker 3: 1:58

I should have asked husbands and wives how many of you think that kissing is kind of gross. It's not that your spouse is gross, just like in general, right, hopefully they don't think their spouse is gross. But kissing, if you really think about it, it's like, eh, it can be, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 2:14

Am I the only one that feels like this? I don't know, I don't know. Do you?

Speaker 3: 2:17

think a husband would never be. Like it's gross.

Speaker 2: 2:21

Never. I don't think you thought it was gross when we were dating.

Speaker 3: 2:24

You'd have to admit, though, that, like if your spouse's breath is bad or if it's morning it's pretty gross, right?

Speaker 1: 2:31

Yeah, there's some things to take into account, absolutely Okay.

Speaker 3: 2:35

But it shouldn't be gross.

Speaker 2: 2:37

It shouldn't be gross, it shouldn't be gross. So yeah.

Speaker 3: 2:39

So the question is is if the kissing has become lower in your marriage and it wasn't at the beginning of your marriage is it really that it's? Like gross, or is it really that you're just not taking the time? Or is it that you think it's going to lead somewhere every single time? Or is it I? I mean, I think that's the big question, because even Nikki's, like, when you touch me, I think it's go time If you passionately kiss me it's go time. Like, if you even cuddle next to me. It's go time.

Speaker 2: 3:10

When we were dating, we would passionately kiss, but it wasn't go time.

Speaker 3: 3:14

For sure. I was restrained, but now that you're not restrained you can full on.

Speaker 1: 3:20

Admit to me that if I cuddled you it's go time all the time.

Speaker 3: 3:25

And so a lot of women that aren't like. I don't want to do it all the time, I'm fine like several times a week or whatever but I don't want to do it all the time. Like I mean, we've had this conversation in our marriage Like well, how much can I do before it? Like makes you think that something's happening?

Speaker 2: 3:40

Well, I think most men would say that and look, let's just be honest about this Like most men are probably like me and would say it's very seldom that the wife initiates right, or that we'll just come up and give a kiss or a hug, or Unless she's a high drive yeah. Unless she's a high drive. So if all of a sudden that were to happen, of course the husband's going to think oh man she's interested, Like she's coming on to me exactly, yeah, so I think that's normal.

Speaker 2: 4:08

That might be part of the problem, though maybe it's like well, if I go passionately kiss him, he's gonna think it's go time and I literally just want to kiss him yeah, well, an easy solution for that would be hey, I want to pass and passionately kiss you, but it doesn't mean it's go time oh, oh, so then you're okay with that, are you okay with? That Absolutely. I'd be okay with that.

Speaker 3: 4:28

Okay.

Speaker 1: 4:30

I think I might put Nick to the test this week.

Speaker 2: 4:32

You could have some fun. You could have some fun making out Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 4:37

Yeah, it's not what you just said before. Anyways, we're going to move on. The point of this podcast is that I don't think there is a marriage out there that kisses more now that they're married than when they were dating or first married.

Speaker 2: 4:51

And if there is, let us know. Let us know your secrets.

Speaker 3: 4:54

We want you to write us, absolutely, absolutely. If you're kissing more now than when you first got married, you write us like right away, yeah Right, okay. First got married, you write us like right away, yeah right, okay. So today's podcast is going to be on the importance and benefits of passionate kissing in marriage.

Speaker 2: 5:12

Nicks thinks it should just be on kissing in general, like just even just kissing like take what we can get no, and I'm making a joke, because amy and I obviously we still kiss, but it's definitely not like it was when we were dating. And look, and that's okay, because a part of that is like when we were dating and we were alone and we were in areas where we were alone and now we have four kids, three dogs, we have neighbors, we got all sorts of stuff going on to where, like it's, there's not as many opportunities to just passionately kiss.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Now, obviously, when we're alone and making love, then yeah, we can, we can kiss yeah we can make out hardcore okay.

Speaker 3: 5:55

So anyways, oh my gosh, uh yeah, okay, moving on. Uh yeah Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:03

Moving on. She's blushing and we're not even filming this one. That's okay. It's all good. I like seeing this.

Speaker 3: 6:10

Okay, we, we asked um. Sometimes I'm just like like I wish you could see me.

Speaker 2: 6:15

I'm like that's enough she does a lot of hand gestures. I do a lot of like okay, that's enough. Tmi, TMI.

Speaker 3: 6:21

Um TMI. We asked our audience how often do you passionately kiss your spouse? Are you ready for this? I think you're going to be shocked.

Speaker 2: 6:34

I think it's got to be really low because you used the word passionately, kiss.

Speaker 3: 6:37

Yeah, I did not say how often do you kiss your spouse. I did not ask do you kiss them when you leave the house or when you go out the door? I did not ask do you kiss them when you leave the house or when you go out the door? I asked him how often do you passionately kiss your spouse? The word passionately to me is like some real kissing going on right. Okay. 22% of our poll takers said daily.

Speaker 2: 7:00

Daily.

Speaker 3: 7:01

Daily Sweet, that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 7:05

That's some sweet action going going on.

Speaker 3: 7:06

that is not happening in our marriage. We have a great marriage, but it ain't happening daily yeah, it ain't happening daily not daily. Um, we do kiss daily, though. We do like he kisses me, goodbye. We kiss good night. Sometimes he'll kiss me in the morning if I'm not pushing him away because my breath sucks like we kiss daily, but not passionately. 22 said daily. 27 said a few times a week okay, that's good.

Speaker 2: 7:35

Which is?

Speaker 3: 7:36

great. That's probably I was gonna say average, I thought that would be the biggest answer probably when they're being intimate most likely. Yep 11 said weekly, once a week. That might be an intimate thing too.

Speaker 2: 7:51

Only right I would say most people. It's probably when they're intimate just when they're intimate.

Speaker 3: 7:56

And 39 said not enough to never 40 yeah, that's that is heartbreaking. I even put a little heartbreak next to that one I would put us in the not enough category.

Speaker 2: 8:11

But that doesn't mean of course you would. That doesn't mean no, I didn't say not enough, I said to never, never, okay not enough to never.

Speaker 3: 8:19

Okay, that means they're not typically not passionately kissing in their marriage.

Speaker 2: 8:23

Okay, like you would not put us in that no, I wouldn't put us in that, you would put us in a few times a week yeah, absolutely yeah, I would put us in that yeah, absolutely, um still not enough it's never going to be enough for you.

Speaker 3: 8:36

I'm rolling my eyes right now, since you can't see it and I'm laughing yep, yeah, that's pretty much how it goes. Uh, okay. So then I asked what are your thoughts on this? What are benefits of kissing, passionate kissing, in marriage to you? So I'm going to read just a few of these, because I got a lot of answers, and then we're going to go through them.

Speaker 2: 8:59

Then we're going to go through what the benefits really are, yeah, and after we go through them, amy and I are going to go passionately, kiss after and so are you.

Speaker 3: 9:07

You're going to put the podcast on pause and you're going to go passionately kiss your spouse, I hope. And if you're driving in your car or you're somewhere else, hopefully you're going to go do it the minute you see your spouse, when the kids aren't around. Okay, brings you closer together, creates connection, creates excitement, keeps the excitement alive. It creates intimate connection. Sneaking kisses outside of the bedroom is awesome, let's see. Reminds me of what is right in front of me, my best friend and lover. I love that. I think daily should be a great goal to start with, possibly even several times a day.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Whoa, that's, that's awesome, that's a great goal and passionately kiss doesn't mean you're throwing your tongue down her throat like I. It doesn't have to be like french kissing, or do you disagree? I?

Speaker 3: 10:02

I don't. I guess that would look different to every marriage. I passionately kissing yeah, I don't think there has to be major french kissing involved like that. It could look different to anybody passionate. Passionate really just means like intimately kissing, like you're into it, whatever that looks like to you, right? Um, okay, here's a few more comments. Makes Makes me feel closer. I don't want it to stop. Starts the sexual engine. I think most men would agree with that. Creates another new connection, fresh. My husband and I. It's both of our love language and for us it helps us to be more intimate. Helps you, oh, I like this one. It makes you slow down and connect, even if just for a few moments. It makes you feel special. I. It makes you slow down and connect, even if just for a few moments it makes you feel special.

Speaker 3: 10:43

I like that, that's like really what this is all about. It's just like realizing your spouse is like in your life and really taking that time to show them how much you love them. Right, emotional connection helps me get me in the mood, starts building that desire the closest connection possible. And yeah, most of the rest of them are kind of the same. So that's pretty much the answer I'm going to totally put Amy on the spot.

Speaker 2: 11:12

We're going to do this while we're podcasting and she doesn't know my answer. I don't know her answer, but what things do you like, if you like, about passionate kissing? What? What are the reasons you like passionate kissing, if you like passionate kissing? First of all, sorry.

Speaker 3: 11:35

Um, I would agree with the comment that said kind of jump starts that engine. I feel like we were created like kissing, literally kind of turns that engine on like it said like for women like without too much information.

Speaker 3: 11:55

I real feel like the passionate kissing really works like that. Or maybe if you already start being intimate, I feel like the passionate kissing gets better. But not speaking about being intimate, just kissing, I don't know. I feel like it's a deeper level, Rather than just a quick goodbye kiss. It kind of shows like I'm not in a hurry and I think that's kind of the point of it is I'm not in a hurry to kiss you, Like you're more important more important.

Speaker 2: 12:24

Yeah, I like that what about you?

Speaker 2: 12:26

same thing um I think for me like, uh, because it's not something we do all the time. It's like it kind of takes me back to like our dating days, like, right, everything when we passionately kiss I feel like the butterflies are there, everything's new, uh, kind of feels like when we were dating and bringing back those kinds of memories. And obviously, um, I like the passionate kissing too, cause I feel like it kind of slows everything down a little bit. When we're passionately kissing, like the, it slows things down and doesn't just jump right into the sex, right, like I think and I think maybe you'd agree but when there's not passionate kissing, it seems to go into the sexual intimacy quicker, right.

Speaker 3: 13:09

Right.

Speaker 2: 13:09

When the passionate kissing's there, it's almost like more of a foreplay, like I said, taking you back to the dating days where it's just kind of the butterflies and fun and so yeah. I think just kind of the butterflies and fun and so yeah I think, yeah, I like I love passionate kissing.

Speaker 3: 13:28

I would kiss you for hours. Yeah, we know okay. So, yeah, I think those are all Bennett, I think those are good, I think it's always positive to want to and it does show. Yeah, like that, it's like affection, right, and I was gonna say too, it shows.

Speaker 2: 13:41

It does show like that you are passionate and affectionate affectionate towards your spouse. But it's not just about sex, right. Right, because if you're passionately kissing, both of you are feeling like, oh, we're enjoying each other.

Speaker 3: 13:54

And it's not about the sex, at least not yet, right right and versus just kind of jumping into the sexual intimacy so before we, before we dive into all the benefits of passionately kissing, we're just kissing in general. I just wanted to hit on that really quick, like, if you're worried about, like, if you're like me and you use the excuse I was just going to lead to something else which can't be happening right now. Right now, then try doing it like in the car, like a date night or somewhere or someplace, or on the couch, when, like, you can still kiss, there's still lots of times during the day.

Speaker 3: 14:31

Is my point to kiss without it having to lead to?

Speaker 2: 14:33

something and even if it, even if you can't or don't do it other places, do it while you're intimate right focus on passionately kissing more while you're being intimate?

Speaker 3: 14:43

yeah, for sure. But if you, if you even like, depending on what passionate kissing looks like to you, I think if you could tweak the mindset of it doesn't have to be like a big, long, lingering kiss, even if you turned it passionate when your spouse was leaving the house or when they were saying goodbye, even if you just let it linger just a little bit longer or put a little more passion into it. It doesn't have to be long, it still can be more meaningful, right? Think of it this way too.

Speaker 2: 15:12

Let's just, let's take the extremes, let's say that, uh, when you're intimate, you never kissed, right? You just you had sex right, how is that possible?

Speaker 1: 15:20

no, I'm just saying I'm just.

Speaker 2: 15:21

That's what I'm saying. Let's take it to the extreme. Let's just imagine that you never kissed when you were sexually intimate. How different would that experience be versus if you were just totally making out and kissing while you were sexually intimate? I think it would be a totally different experience. I think both of you would connect on a deeper level. I think you would feel like it was more about connecting and love than if, than just sex.

Speaker 2: 15:47

The only reason I'm saying that is because I think just the fact of incorporating more kissing into your lovemaking will make your lovemaking even better. It'll make it more, it'll make it more passionate, it'll make it more connecting, um more. You know, I, I don't know I think the emotions and everything will be a lot stronger. There'll be more depth to the lovemaking when you're passionately kissing, because then it's, then it's an experience. It's more of an experience rather than just, hey, let's have sex, right, right. So I don't know, maybe that didn't come out right, but again, I think if you just looked at that, you could see how important kissing really is.

Speaker 3: 16:34

Right, and I think what you're saying to me is when you stated that you said it would be when you're intimate. If you kiss more to me like the kissing is what makes sexual intimacy intimate yeah and we're gonna do an entire podcast. We actually did a poll on that same thing, like how to make sexual intimacy more intimate in your marriage, and I guarantee we'll be talking about kissing, right okay, I hope I'm not saying too much.

Speaker 2: 17:01

Obviously, you know we sell our non-graphic bubble sex positions. Right, right, my favorite positions are the ones that I can kiss you they're more we're making love, they're more intimate. Right it has nothing to do with different things are getting crazy it. Those, my favorite ones, are the ones where I can be kissing you looking into your eyes being more intimate it's more intimate.

Speaker 3: 17:23

Yeah, kissing is intimate like maybe even more than sex itself, right yeah, exactly that's like. To me, one of the most intimate things is kissing.

Speaker 2: 17:36

I agree right.

Speaker 3: 17:38

So if somebody's struggling with kissing like, if you're thinking it's gross, if you you have any of those like we've all been there before probably. But I can honestly say in our marriage when I thought kissing was gross, there was probably something deeper going on in the relationship than the actual kissing that was gross it was probably you're upset over something, something's frustrating you, you're disgusted by something Like, something's probably more mental to make you feel like it's gross or you don't want to kiss like deeply, kiss your spouse right, yeah.

Speaker 3: 18:08

So, anyways, I just wanted to point that out, that's at least how I feel. So the benefits of kissing, like we already talked about Sorry, still getting over this cough.

Speaker 2: 18:19

It's only been four weeks. It's only been a month.

Speaker 3: 18:21

It's only been four weeks, it's only been a month. Kissing passionately fosters emotional and physical intimacy between spouses, which strengthens the bond Like we just said I don't know that we need to say more on that. I think too.

Speaker 2: 18:32

I think if you asked a simple question and you looked at the couples that were in love, having a ton of intimacy. I can promise you all those couples are probably kissing a lot more. Probably that would be my guess anyways.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Right.

Speaker 2: 18:47

Everything kind of goes hand in hand at the end of the day as you peel things back.

Speaker 3: 18:50

Right. The next one I wanted to bring up is connection. It serves as a powerful form of nonverbal communication, allowing spouses to express love, desire, affection. All those things right.

Speaker 2: 19:03

I like that one because a lot of times we think communication is always verbal, but sometimes non-verbal communication can be a lot more powerful than verbal communication. I can say I love you, but sometimes it's more powerful when I show you in certain ways.

Speaker 3: 19:20

Well, my second favorite quote is love is an action word, pretty short and sweet, right. But you can say, and it's still important to say, I love you Absolutely. But sometimes try, in your marriage, instead of saying bye, I love you, go up and grab your spouse and give them one of those kisses that's like leaves them breathless, even if's like five seconds man, I don't want to go to work today.

Speaker 2: 19:46

Maybe I gotta call in sick you don't go to work.

Speaker 3: 19:48

That's crazy. No, like that could show, especially someone that's like physical touch, love language that's gonna mean more than I love you bye if a wife came up and like, gave her husband like a just, passionate kiss I love you oh man that would be that is showing love right there that would rock his world, that would rock his world. I think every husband listening would agree with that. Uh, the next positive benefit to kissing is stress relief. Did you know that it relieves stress?

Speaker 2: 20:22

I'm never stressed when I'm making out with you, so that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 3: 20:27

Kissing literally releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, reducing stress and promoting relaxation mentally. I don't think people realize that, or they'd probably kiss more If you're stressed out.

Speaker 2: 20:42

I would agree with that. Go kiss Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 20:44

Passionately kiss or go make love. There's benefits to all these things. There's a reason all these things are created. I think right, I think so too. Yeah, I mean, there's always a deeper purpose.

Speaker 2: 20:56

There's. There is what's the word? There's benefits. There's good things from.

Speaker 3: 21:01

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Kissing to make love.

Speaker 3: 21:04

Yep, it's good for your physical health. Kissing is good for your physical health.

Speaker 2: 21:11

In what ways and mental health Is it?

Speaker 3: 21:14

It actually boosts the immune system and can even lower blood pressure.

Speaker 2: 21:21

Okay, let's do it, baby, let's do it. I mean mean, I'm not a doctor.

Speaker 3: 21:23

But when someone tells me something like that, I'm like oh okay, I'm gonna take your word for it doctor says, we should make out more says, you should make out more often I like it.

Speaker 2: 21:33

Date night. I'm gonna obey the doctor's orders, doctor's orders.

Speaker 3: 21:37

Um, we already talked about this kind of but passionate kissing keeps the romance alive, ignites the sparks and keeps that fire flame burning bright.

Speaker 2: 21:48

That's like a bonfire.

Speaker 3: 21:51

Passionate kissing is more like the bonfire, but like we talked, I like that you brought up. When we're passionately kissing, it reminds me of how we felt when we first found love or first got married.

Speaker 2: 22:04

It totally does. Every time you and I are making out, it feels like I'm a teenager.

Speaker 3: 22:10

You're not a teenager when we met A 26-year-old.

Speaker 2: 22:13

A 26-year-old virgin when we met.

Speaker 3: 22:15

yes, it does seriously.

Speaker 2: 22:18

Seriously, I love. One of my favorite things to do with you is to kiss and sometimes you know, like, like I was saying sometimes, amy's like all right let's just, let's make love and I'm like can't we kiss a little bit? So kissing's awesome, I love it.

Speaker 3: 22:34

One of my favorite things and I think most husbands and wives would agree with that, hopefully. Um, kissing, like we already stated too, is a great start to foreplay. You could literally play kissing games alone, like, not even like making out, but just like if you started passionately french kissing each other.

Speaker 3: 22:55

That is like the best oh, absolutely, absolutely like I think for for a husband, yeah, they're already gonna be like oh yeah, that turns me on like super fast. But I think for most women too, if they're actually into it mentally, that can get them going pretty quick too yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2: 23:10

Do you agree absolutely?

Speaker 3: 23:12

um trust is the next benefit. Um uh, let's see. Sharing intimate moments like kissing builds trust, vulnerability and absolutely creates emotional connection.

Speaker 2: 23:26

I would agree with that wholeheartedly.

Speaker 3: 23:28

Wholeheartedly. You probably have pretty good emotional connection in your marriage if you're passionately kissing multiple times a week.

Speaker 2: 23:36

Absolutely, Especially daily right. Absolutely. If you're kissing multiple times a day, you almost cannot have a crappy marriage, I agree, especially passionate kissing. It is Because that is just like sex it is a very vulnerable thing. I think they're just at different levels, right.

Speaker 3: 23:51

I think for the couples. I wish we could just pull the couples that say what was the percentage? I can't remember. That said, they passionately kiss every single day of the week. I bet they have an amazing marriage.

Speaker 2: 24:03

Oh for sure, no question. I bet they have an amazing marriage.

Speaker 3: 24:06

I bet they don't even have much conflict in their marriage. That would be my guess.

Speaker 2: 24:10

Totally agree.

Speaker 3: 24:11

The next one is communication. What do you think about that?

Speaker 2: 24:16

Again, I think it's a nonverbal way to just express how much you love each other and how much you care and how into each other you are. Like if I feel like passionately kissing, if there's, you know, maybe some tension or things like that. Like if you start passionately kissing, like all that kind of just goes away, you're just connecting in a different way.

Speaker 3: 24:41

You kind of remember that you're lovers and best friends and not just like two people trying to run a house right.

Speaker 2: 24:47

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3: 24:49

I think we forget sometimes that we're not just two people trying to raise a family and make a living and do all the daily things, like oh, we can take a few seconds and like remember, like why we fell in love.

Speaker 1: 25:02

For sure.

Speaker 3: 25:02

Question for you what do you think the difference would be in people's marriages if, instead of reaching for their phone, they reach to kiss their spouse? Oh, it'd be what if people were reprogrammed to be like I gotta kiss my spouse first before I can touch my phone.

Speaker 2: 25:27

Yeah, I think their marriages would be crazy good.

Speaker 3: 25:32

Crazy good.

Speaker 2: 25:33

Crazy good.

Speaker 3: 25:33

Crazy good.

Speaker 2: 25:34

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 25:34

That could be a good challenge for everyone to start just like try for a week before, like maybe even at least in the morning or when you crawl into bed instead of reaching for your phone reach for your lips. Make sure you just and and it doesn't even have to go anywhere, but just kiss your spouse first. Just simple too, just a simple kiss. It doesn't have to be long yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:58

I think it's really important to kiss your spouse. That's why I'm always trying to kiss you, and I know how beneficial and important it is.

Speaker 3: 26:06

I know you do. The next one is happiness. It literally can change the happiness in your marriage.

Speaker 2: 26:14

Yeah, you know, as we've been doing this, I've kind of been thinking about the other podcasts we did. When you know three things, you should say every day I love you. I'm sorry, and I forget the other one, thank you, thank you. Yeah, I think this kind of goes hand in hand with that. It's such a simple, simple thing that we often forget we need to do.

Speaker 2: 26:35

But how simple it is, but also how much it can really change your marriage in a good way right and it really is like it really you know, we often think it's the big things that are going to change our marriage in a big way, but really all is come seems to come down to like just the little things. Amy and I were talking yesterday about how the difference between a couple who's on the verge of divorce versus a couple who just is totally into each other and can't get enough of each other is not very, very extreme. You know you'd think, oh man, I. You know a lot of people look at their marriages and they're in a tough spot and they think I can never get to what that couple has or what they think would be great for their marriage. But in reality it's not far away at all. Really, just by implementing some of these little things and doing some of these little things could very quickly transform the relationship. And any other things going on of course depend on a big there.

Speaker 1: 27:39

But yeah, my point is is.

Speaker 2: 27:41

I think so many marriages could have such an incredible marriage and be passionate and full of intimacy with just some very little changes little tiny tweaks.

Speaker 2: 27:52

I agree that the reason I say that is because that's the way amy's and my marriage has been. Um, it wasn't like big life-changing things we had to implement. It was just little things that we changed and we're now more aware of and that we try to really do on a daily basis, and it's made, I think, all the difference in the world I can literally remember the day that we decided to turn our marriage around, and I can just being on the spot.

Speaker 3: 28:21

I'll probably forget one or two, but I can remember the three things that we implemented. We implemented boundaries. We implemented better communication, like we talked every single night about how we were feeling and how to make our marriage better every night for a while there. And then the third thing we implemented was date night.

Speaker 2: 28:40

I would say the same thing.

Speaker 1: 28:41

A weekly date night.

Speaker 3: 28:42

We learned how to talk better, how to set boundaries better and how to prioritize quality time every single week, and those three things completely changed our relationship.

Speaker 2: 28:53

I agree with those. And like you said, those were not hard, yeah, it was just more pushing things to the front rather than to the back, so we're going to make these things a priority rather than ignoring them, like we have for so many years.

Speaker 3: 29:08

Our marriage is not where we want it. Starting tomorrow, we're going to make a change and when both of us decided we're going to do those things better, we're gonna be more intentional about it. We're gonna put effort into those three things. Starting tomorrow. They're not gonna take much time, even if it's 10, 20 minutes. And then date night once a week, like I feel, like our marriage flipped around and they were not hard things to do, and then from there, we continued to do other little things right just to make it better, just it better Just to make it better, like, oh, we could be better in this area.

Speaker 2: 29:35

We could be better in this area, right? And I think now we look at things especially with like preparing for podcasts and stuff too. Now we look at like every little thing, like, hey, if we did this, it would make things even better. Even better, and I feel like we're always looking for just little things to improve our marriage instead of, you know, maybe falling back into the trap of the other things that were taking us down, so to speak.

Speaker 3: 30:04

Right, right. But I noticed like when times were hard and not as good, like we weren't passionately kissing.

Speaker 3: 30:12

Oh, no way even even the intimacy, even the intimate moments together, there was not passionate kissing, because little tiny things in your marriage, like any kind of resentment, any conflicts, any lack of forgiveness, like any communication kind of barriers or intimacy barriers, phone, like any of those little things kind of stop that passionate kissing like, bring it back to the kissing, like that's kind of one of the first signs that your marriage is kind of becoming unpassionate is that the the passionate kissing has kind of dwindled. That's what I feel.

Speaker 2: 30:43

Yeah, and I think a lot of couples I think us included um, that's kind of something that just now, for whatever reason, um just kind of gets pushed away, cause I would say you and I have a very passionate marriage, but the passion of kissing is more when we're making love, right?

Speaker 3: 31:00

Yeah, like I read that poll and I was like oh we, we can do better. Absolutely Like when I take polls from our audience, like sometimes the polls like we're doing really good, and then polls like that where people are passionately kissing every day.

Speaker 2: 31:15

I'm like we're not where we could be. I have things to learn. Oh, and, legitimately, like after this podcast and preparing for it, like legitimately, I'm going to make a better effort to kiss more and just do those things.

Speaker 3: 31:26

And even if you're just like I don't need to passionately kiss more just like that simple little thing like when you leave goodbye, grab your spouse's face and just kiss like. Give them a real kiss, like for 30 seconds, like a look in their eyes. Give them a real kiss when you say I love you to me. That one little simple thing is is marriage changing?

Speaker 2: 31:48

yeah, and if you're a husband before you leave for work. Even just doing that, if you were to go give your wife a 20, 30 second, pretty passionate kiss and walk out. I can promise you she's going to be smiling and thinking the rest of the day.

Speaker 3: 32:00

Agreed.

Speaker 2: 32:01

She's going to have a great day. She's going to be like she's not going to think, oh, my husband wants sex. She's going to think he loves me. That was really nice of him he wasn't going after anything.

Speaker 3: 32:13

He literally just wanted to kiss me. Yeah, because kissing is very meaningful. We're going to end it there.

Speaker 2: 32:19

Yeah, I think this was a really good podcast. You know, here we are, 260 something into our podcast and we've never talked about this. We haven't talked about this, and yet how important is this subject, you know.

Speaker 3: 32:36

So I mean, we're always, you know, we're always like finding things and learning things and, uh, and this is one that we need to improve on yeah, absolutely, I think every couple can benefit from kissing more. Every couple listening can benefit from this.

Speaker 2: 32:45

Totally agree. So let us know what you think. Um, hope you enjoyed the podcast today and we challenge you to uh kiss more passionately.

Speaker 3: 32:55

Um, take our challenge. Take our challenge, I would say, do it for the next week.

Speaker 2: 33:00

Right, everyone can handle a week. Do it for the next week and then see how your marriage has changed, or if it has changed and then email us.

Speaker 3: 33:08

Email us and let us know if you saw a difference yeah, we would.

Speaker 2: 33:12

We would love to hear that. Yep. Amy at ultimateintimacycom. Email us, let us know you can also jump on Instagram.

Speaker 3: 33:20

I try to get back to messages pretty quick. You can DM us on there. I answer for those. Nick usually responds to the emails, so we would love it. We would love it.

Speaker 2: 33:29

Yep. So we hope you enjoyed this podcast episode and until next time.